Escape from Drawer B
Jerry Knowland closed the appointment ledger with a bang. It was already eight o’clock at night and he’d been at it all day. He glanced out the huge bank of windows to his side and could barely see the mountain peaks because it was already so dark. When he heard Horne knock he felt like throwing the damn book at him, but instead called him in and put on a tired grin.
“I am done for the day. I won’t see any more petitioners.”
“But…but...but”
“Well go on, tell me what is it so I can send you home too.”
“It’s your Viceroy, Your Highness, he has been waiting for three days to see you. He said it is urgent, but you keep putting him off.”
“Did you see that stack of folders he is holding on his lap? All for me.”
He didn’t add that the Viceroy, with his beady eyes, big nose and tiny mouth on a over large head centered on a short, skinny body, was one of the people his dad told him to watch out for before he died. Jerry knew that he was dangerous for some reason and he am too tired to deal with him.
“Horn, I am a new king; have pity on me. It’s time to go home for you and me.”
“What shall I tell the Viceroy?”
“Tell him to go to hell and take his folders with him.”
Horn just stood there waiting for something real to say so Jerry added with a sigh, “Ok, Tell him I will see him for, “He looked down at his watch, “Five minutes only, and then it’s out. If he has more to say he can wait in line with the rest of the subjects of kingdom.”
The first thing the Viceroy did when he came into the office room was bow to Jerry. This made Jerry’s nerves jump. One of the first things he’d decreed was there would be no more bows. Incised, Jerry deliberately looked at his watch and said, “Five minutes, that’s all. My last appointment was with the Sudanese ambassador.”
Humph, well, if I only have five minutes then I’ll get right to the point and you don’t need to worry about the CEO for Nexton Corp. he’s been taken care of. “
“What do you mean, ‘taken care of?’”
“That is what I am here to talk to you about. How we take care of things for the kingdom.
“You take care of things? Then what am I doing here? Explain please.”
“Well, we do what needs to be done to keep the kingdom viable. Can’t let some CEO or National leader run our economy down or turn public opinion against us.”
“I still want to know what you mean by ‘taken care of.’”
“His obituary will be in the news this week.”
“His obituary!”
Jerry almost stood up but thought better of it and stayed seated. At the sure, solid look on the viceroy’s face his stomach did a flip. “But I just met with the man yesterday. Are you sure?”
“Oh, yes. I am sure. His heart gave up under extreme stress, so to speak.”
His smile during these words was sickening. Jerry began to fear the worst.
“I had not been informed.”
“No one knows yet. They will by tomorrow.”
“You got to be kidding.”
Jerry mentally kicked himself for advertising his youthfulness with his words. He had to be careful. So many cutthroats and manipulators took note of his every move that it was unnerving. In the few short months he’d been king, he had learned to suspect everyone’s motive. He had to stay on his toes to prevent being made into a puppet king. His shrewd ability to watch facial features had served him well. Now this confrontation was something new.
The Viceroy’s smile suddenly turned into a serpent covered with scales, tongue ready to strike. He shook his head to clear it.
“No, I am not kidding.” The Viceroy answered.
With a shrug of his tired shoulders now weighted even more, Jerry said, “Go on.”
“We are a secret group who takes care of the kingdom for the royal leaders, who ever they happen to be or how ever long they rein. Right now, this means you. Which brings me to why I am here.”
Jerry noticed a stern look come over the man’s face but with a more relaxed pose, as if he were enjoying a private joke. The snake was about to strike.
“Your payment on the contract is due in three weeks. I have here a number of folders with all the work we have done on the contract through the years. The first folder has a paper that defines how you should make payment and a copy of the contract.”
The Viceroy walked to the desk and set the folders down.
“Why don’t you tell me.” Jerry said with a smirk. “I sure it will be enlightening.”
“Oh, you will be enlightened. Your wife will be needed for copulation with one of us on the date stated in the first folder.”
“What...did I hear you right? Copulation?” Jerry did rise out of his chair this time.
“I think it is time for you to leave,” Jerry said, his grin tightening on his face.
“I have underlined that clause in the contract if you would like to read the contract now.”
“This is crazy, nutty.” Jerry, leaning on his desk was becoming fascinated by this man’s daring aplomb. His finger was on the button to have his guards in here in a second.
“It wasn’t so ‘nutty’ 570 years ago when the contract was signed and agreed upon.” The Viceroy blinked as he parroted the word ‘nutty’ as if it made a bad taste in his mouth.
“Five hundred seventy years ago? Contracts don’t last that long. People die.” He relaxed slightly because if there was any truth in all this, which he doubted, it would be easy to nullify something that old.
“Kingdoms don’t.”
The ugly little man had a point. “Well, you can forget coupling with my new bride.”
At that moment he almost wished the kingdom still had a dungeon with working torture racks. Finally he’d had enough. “I’ll look into this matter. Leave your papers here for now.” Jerry stood up tall as a gesture that it was time for this stupid man to leave but the man dared to speak once more.
“That I can not do. I must keep possession of them. I meant for you to read the top folder before I leave.”
“You are leaving immediately. If you want me to read a contract, it will be at some other time. You are dismissed.” Jerry was so angry he was afraid it was showing on his face.
The ugly little man sighed and picked up his stack of folders smiling. “But there is a copy in your own archives. Drawer B 587. This is top secret. It must not be discussed with anyone until you have read the whole contract. The consequences could be devastating.”
“Leave immediately. I will check into these so called facts, when I can.”
Jerry’s exasperation with this little man was about to make him loose his temper. It was a good thing the man finally left with his pile of folders but not before sliding a slip of paper to Jerry’s desk with Drawer B 587 typed neatly in its center. The little snake knew I would need it.
Jerry hurried into his personal chambers as soon as the Viceroy left and stated he wanted to be left alone, then he immediately poured himself a glass of wine. Best damn wine in the world, but with an unpronounceable name. Too bad I wasn’t raised to be king. Feeling more relaxed now and even laughing at himself, he sat down in the soft chair and swung his body around so he could put his feet up on the table. Now this is acting like a king. He laughed and swirled his wine.
To get his mind off the Viceroy he turned his mind towards his new circumstances and let the memories of his coronation play for a few minutes and wondered once again how he got here. How did I let them force me into this? Who could imagine a whole family, every last one of them, dead with a single bomb? Damn, I didn’t ask for this job, or did I? Dad always said it could be a possibility one day. Was he prophetic or a just a shrewd thinker? Well, they all thought I’d be a pushover because I am young. Need to stay on top of their maneuvers. Damn crazy, what is it they want anyway?
He swirled the dark red wine in the glass
and watched it coat the crystal. Beautiful. Ok, time to think
about this new crap. Sex with my wife. Are they nuts? Damn if I am going
to let some screwball frog face go to bed with my lovely bride. He smiled at
the memory of Kenna walking down the wedding isle. Wish she was
back from
The new elevator didn’t open into that end of the castle so it was going to be a long way down into the archives. The million stairs seemed to go on forever, level after level of cold stone and getting colder. It seemed as if every landing was darker and danker then the one above. The lighting was old and dim and the stairs were worn down to pits and gouges from age.
With his imagination expanding at every dark corner, Jerry knew Mike and Jose were getting jittery too; so, he began throwing jokes at the guards. Guards he secretly kept calling, Mutt and Jeff. They were too uptight to let him call them by any nicknames even thought they fit the role.
“It’s just not done,” they had explained to him. Well now, he could tell they were becoming jittery and perplexed by this strange night trip, but asked no questions. Not even when he took a wrong turn and they wound up in a dusty storage room full of armor and wooden cabinets draped in white cloths. They both snickered in discomfort.
“Sorry guys” They smiled weakly with him as he threw up his hands and shook his head. Once more Jerry bent down and read the map torn in the folds it was so old. “Damn place is as big as a city.”
Mutt and Jeff laughed at that and then stopped, ashamed.
“Hey, guys, it’s ok to laugh if I decree it? Ok?”
They didn’t answer so Jerry turned and began climbing down more flights of stairs. They walked through a long cobweb at one landing. “Wonder how long that’s been there. Would you both like a job as housekeeper? No response. “I was just kidding. Place is getting a little spooky, agreed? Doesn’t anyone ever go into these archives?”
With each step they took they seemed to move backwards in time. After a million turns he folded up the map and shouted, “Found it.”
They stood before a large room that took up the whole floor, a very considerable size that was devoted to the oldest records. Stacks of wooden and steel cabinets lined every wall and snaked across in isles that seemed to numerous to count. Each line of cabinets rose to near ceiling height beneath long isles of shadow. The room reminded Jerry of some old dusty library, a giant one. He instructed his guards to wait inside by the door while he went down one isle and then another looking for Drawer B587.
Damn, good thing the drawers are lettered and numbered. The very oldest records seemed to start at numbers without letters. Ah, here, A section. Five minutes later he found B section and finally B587. Didn’t know there were so many records in the world outside of the United States Library of Congress.
He slowly pulled on Drawer B587 and it reluctantly groaned and screeched out of its slot. Hadn’t been opened in a very long time.
Mutt called out to him from around the bend, “Is all well?”
“Sure, be out in a minute.”
There was a rectangular red metal box inside with a label in some language Jerry didn’t recognize. Nothing odd about that, he didn’t recognize most languages in the world. A few strange symbols were drawn below the label which circled a small keyhole. He checked the set of keys in his pocket and found that the smallest key fit the narrow hole, which turned easily. The box swished open to reveal a folded up piece of old, yellow parchment. The real thing. It must be delicate. Jerry considered whether he should read it down here or take it upstairs so he could read it in comfort. Comfort won. He closed the red lid, put the box under his arm, and walked back out to the guards.
“Now lets see if we can find out way up and out of here.”
They grinned with pleasure as he took the lead up the first flight of stairs. “If I get lost, we all do; so yell if you think I am making a wrong turn.”
Three sets of shoes clapped and echoed on the stone stairs as they climbed higher and higher, a little more slowly at each landing.
“Was a little easier going down, hey?”
He suspected that none of them minded the clapping noise of their boots as they tried to hurry back up the stairs because it chased away the creepy, haunted house feeling. Jerry began to whistle and motioned for his guards to join in the revelry but they refused, too busy guarding. Finally, they made it back to his private rooms with no problem but a slight loss of breath. He saluted Mutt and Jeff good night, which made them frown. The joke wasn’t in good taste. Jerry laughed the harder. His American wits promised a million delights in this stuff-shirt culture.
Inside his apartment, after he poured a glass of fine wine, he opened the box once more. He treated the parchment carefully as if it were very valuable as probably it was. He opened it and saw that although it wasn’t in English, it was written in a language he knew-Latin. This was a lucky break. He’d learned Latin as an alter boy at St. Anthony’s when he was younger. How old is this document? He looked at the bottom and saw it was signed and dated in the year of our Lord, Thirteen Thirty Three. Wow.
After he read a few lines he decided he better sit down. This was an amazing piece of paper. Crazy, because it can’t really be valid, can it? Actually as it turned out it didn’t matter. The threat was implicit in the nature of the person who signed it along with the head of state at the time. He didn’t’ recognize the name but the royal seal was embossed on the parchment.
It boiled down to an agreement between a
group of people who called them selves The Satani. Then there was a few terms
that described their specialty and at first Jerry thought he must be reading it
wrong so he double-checked his quick translation. No, he’d
translated right. Satani meant the people of the altering face. Like face changers or something? Hadn’t
he read some vague reference once to such people in
He read the contract once more, slowly. Essentially, it stated that the Satani agreed to guard the kingdom from harm. Their payment for such services, due once every fifty years, was a secluded meeting with the royal queen to couple for the purpose of achieving an offspring. The exact dates were listed when payment had been made and when it should be made in the future.
Jerry’s first impulse was to laugh and throw the document away in the trash, ancient or not, but he knew better. This was no joke. You don’t write jokes on parchment and keep it for five hundred years. Even so, there was no way he was going to give in to such outlandish and outmoded demands. Go to a damn sperm bank for your offspring. What ninnies they must be. That’s all they need to do and that is exactly what I will tell them, flat out. Hell, I’ll even pay for it if they insist on keeping the contract.
Then he sat back in his easy chair and contemplated what it might mean if there really were such monsters as face-changers in the world. Could this be for true? He envisioned people doubled by mock faces and then a whole crowd with the same faces and realized his imagination might be running away from reality. But damn who knows what is real if people could change the shape of their face? Face recognition is a very valuable human trait. We’re born with it. How do we know who a person is if their face changes into someone different? Guess that’s the point, but what does it portend for the kingdom?
When he tried to imagine what the possibilities would be if one of these face-changers could become any person on the planet, important people, leaders who make vital decisions. Jerry’s nerves ran cold at the potential evil that could be done between nations and probably was done over the years as an aid for this kingdom. The kingdom was what he had to think of first, the people deserved no less, but he would not be blackmailed into continuing this charade of this contract. He intended to find a way to end it.
His crash course in history didn’t help him grab at the important dates or events the face-changers might have interfered with, but he supposed they’d been an outstanding weapon against fate. Jerry had no doubts that the weapon had been used numerous times. Like the CEO at Nexton Corporation, suddenly dead from stress? He wondered for a moment how they had achieved that, then decided he didn’t want to know.
Don’t matter. The little snake won’t get what he came for. I have vast resources at my disposal and an army of people who could check out these dates and figures. Under wraps, of course. Who do I dare talk to about this? In fact, what would happen if I just ignored it? He decided he didn’t want to find out. This damn threat is worse than a bomb.
“I will not give in to monsters.” He said out loud and slammed his crystal wine glass down on the table. It was a testament to the glass’s good quality that it didn’t break. “I will stop this rape of the kingdom somehow.”
The next morning he called Horne in and canceled all his appointments for the day, “And maybe the rest of the week.” He told him. “By the way, who would you say is the oldest person still living who ever served as a royal advisor?
“That would be Sir Stipple. He must be eighty by now. Hadn’t heard of his death so he must still be kicking.” Horne actually smiled at his pretense of a joke. Amazing.
“If he’s that old, I’ll go to him. Set up an appointment right away. Today would be best, tomorrow at the latest.”
“Yes, your Majesty,” Horne said as he left shaking his head at the list of canceled appointments in his book. Jerry smiled. He had disrupted the kingdom with his ‘Modern Ways’ again. It seems that I turn everything topsy-turvy as my wife, Keena would say. He enjoyed it, making fun of old, stuffy rules, but not the rest, not all the paper work and decisions that came with the job. He wondered if he would ever get used to it. Ok, enough dawdling, to work.
He called in twenty people and put them on research looking through the history of the kingdom specifically around the specific dates on the contract and then to list snares or trouble spots that the kingdom might have miraculously escaped from. Course, he didn’t use the word miraculous. Unfortunate that he couldn’t tell the researchers exactly what they were looking for; he didn’t dare. He’d need to do some of the research himself.
After two days of intense research and work Jerry called the Viceroy to meet with him again in his office. As he entered, the Viceroy bent in a low bow to his person and Jerry wanted to puke in anger.
“Never mind the fake reverence,” Jerry said as he scrutinized his face for any sign of change. “Let’s just get to the point. I have decided that you people can go to a fertility clinic of some kind. He pulled a list out of his pocket and set it down on the desk. That should serve your needs. That is your purpose, is it not, offspring?”
“Like any other group, we need to replenish our stock. Because of our delicate nature we sometimes become confused as to our true self purpose. This after a prolonged life of hundreds of years, you understand.”
“In other words, you go crazy.”
“I suppose you could put it like that if you insist.”
Jerry had a sudden realization that the man standing here wasn’t aware that he was now Jerry’s enemy. He believed the relationship between the kingdom and his face-changers would continue as usual. Good time to wring info from this nut. ‘Know your enemy,’ as they say.
“How many of you are there?’
The Viceroy looked startled at Jerry’s question.
“Oh, you are concerned about our viability? There are enough of us currently in existence to serve the kingdom, I can assure you.
“So now there are only a few. A few sane ones left? Maybe one?” Jerry asked.
“No, and you misunderstand. The confusion at change is not much different that what you would call a mild senility.”
“Well, since you or your kindred will be senile, he won’t mind going to a fertility clinic for your next offspring. Very good selection, I am told.”
The little man became so upset you’d have thought Jerry’d punched him. Not a bad idea, but he held back his temper.
“Oh, no, that would never do. No, no, no.”
“Why not? An offspring is an offspring. And besides I can tell you that my wife will never consent to your demands. My new bride is not from this country and so has not developed the same degree of loyalty as you have. She won’t stand for it and I won’t let her. My wife is a beautiful young women and you are at least eighty or more. She’d think you crazy. The clinic is the only choice. That is final.”
At Jerry’s words the Viceroy turned around and Jerry thought he’d won and the man was about to leave.
“Here, please take the list of clinics with you.” Jerry began to rise from his chair.
Then the Viceroy turned back around and looked at Jerry. What Jerry saw shook him up so bad he needed to sit again. He groped his hands backwards to find the arms of his chair before he fell into it because he didn’t think his legs could hold him up for another minute.
What faced him was not the Viceroy but his own face. The face moved itself with a smile just as its voice said, “She won’t know the difference.” You will be secluded for the short time it takes for our,” the Viceroy snickered, meeting.”
Jerry couldn’t answer through his shock. Pull it together, damn it. You knew what they are, so what. It means nothing at all. Jerry felt his face grin as he rose up from the chair and stood tall next to his desk.
“Nevertheless,” Jerry spoke in a firm, calm voice, “It is my contention that my bride will not be needed for replenishment of your stock. You will pick out the eggs with whatever traits you desire at a clinic of your choice.”
“Our stock must be born of royalty. How else can we continue to serve the kingdom in such a highly refined manner.”
“It is my further contention, that the contract be dissolved. This kingdom no longer requires your services.“
At this, the man’s facial tissue began to melt and reform. As he continued to look at Jerry and his eyes changed back to their original color as he said, “Remember you have less than three weeks to prepare. I suggest you read the contract for the specific details. The proper set up must be prepared and waiting. Our requirements are quite simple. You will comply.”
“No, you are mistaken.” Jerry said grinding his teeth beneath the grin.
“No, you are,” said the viceroy, now completely back wearing his own face. He sneered, “Who is with your wife at this moment?”
“She is in
“Yes, and you don’t know if her lady in waiting is one of us do you?”
With that the viceroy gave a short curtsey, turned and walked to the door.
All the long night, Jerry paced, his thoughts running so fast they threatened to collide into each other. No way will I give in to that little twerp of a man. Or any of them. There must be a way to get out of this. Must be. Have the SOB killed? Even that wouldn’t work. Where are the other two? He assumed that few meant two. So, who are they? I need help. Must be somewhere I can go for help. I have a whole damn kingdom to draw from. He got angry at this and banged his fist down on the desk. “Damn.” startling Mutt and Jeff who had just returned to stand outside his room. I need to think, the more he thought the more his mind seemed to churn in a hopeless swirl.
Can’t do this alone. Need help. Jerry halted his pacing and stepped into the outer office to tell his secretary to call Sir Stipple because he was on his way to Stipple’s house right now. He began walking through the rooms towards the door but stopped at his secretary’s “And give me Stipple’s address.” He took the slip of paper Horne had ready for him and run towards the door, not an easy thing to do with all the twists and turns. His guards followed as best they could. Shows how much this SOB has me in a lather, can’t even remember to get an address.
He quickly headed towards the garage for his Mercedes. His chauffeur came running after him but he waved him off and called out he’d rather drive himself. Then jumped in the car, the guards running right behind but left behind as he roared out of the garage and drove into the countryside. He noticed they had commandeered a car to follow. He mused to himself that even a king lacks freedom in today’s world.
He pulled up to a large country estate and almost ran up the walk. The door opened to admit him without his needing to knock. He told his guards who pulled up behind him to wait out in their car while he talked to Sir Stipple.
Sir Stipple seemed to know why he had come. The look on his face was grave.
“You seem to know why I am here?”
“Yes, I believe I do. Can’t imagine anything else that would send the king running through a beautiful fall countryside in such a hurry.”
“What are these people? I won’t give in. There must be a way out of this.” Jerry began pacing and weaving in and around the old sofa and tables set in front of the fireplace. He couldn’t stand still and certainly could not sit.
“King John thought so to. We tried everything we could think of. King John even went to a shyster lawyer, riff raff, you know, didn’t do any good. No good at all.” Had to pay the lawyer off too, a handsome sum.
“I don’t care what it costs, I need to get these people off my back. Out of the kingdom for good. My people deserve better than this.
“Their payment must be almost due. When?
“Three weeks from now. Not much time. With all the technology we have today maybe we can trick them somehow? Can’t understand how this started to begin with.”
“It was a do or die situation so I’ve been told. In fact, it may be to your advantage to let it go on.” Sir Stipple waited for a hopeful moment then shrugged and waved his hands. “I tell you, there is nothing you can do. They have you by the tail.”
Jerry was pacing back and forth in the old fashioned, almost shabby but elegant room. “What was that lawyer’s name? Maybe he can help?”
“Long dead but his people kept the business. They have a reputable establishment in the city, so I hear. He went to an old chest and pulled out a drawer and phone book. “Let me see? Ah, here, right here. Should I call? We had a code name for the file. I’ll try it.
“Here let me. Give me the code name.
“Houdini.”
Jerry grinned, “A little obvious don’t you think? Ah, hello. Yes, this is… Wait. You talk. Don’t want them to know it’s the king calling.”
Sir Stipple asked for Mr. Mitchell the head of the firm. He mentioned who he was and after a few minutes spoke the code name. His eyes lit up and Jerry saw him nod. Good. He turned to Jerry and asked,
“Should he bring the file here?”
“Yes, that would be perfect. As fast as he can.”
He will bring the file here but it might take some time. He said he will need to have his people dig deep into his own archives. Be here in about a half hour. Tea?”
Jerry couldn’t stop pacing long enough to sit and drink the tea. He continued walking in a circle until the lawyer rang the bell. The door opened to a white haired, short man with an air of decisiveness and excitement about him. He was all business as he said, “Here, took me a while to get at it but here is the file. He looked up at the tall king now halted in mid pace, “I can tell you a few things about these people that maybe you didn’t know.”
Jerry looked at the little old lawyer from the firm of Savory and Mitchell and nodded, “Come in.”
“Why, yes, come in, come in, Mr. Stipple said as he pulled him into the room.
After sitting down, with the king’s permission, Mr. Mitchell said, “There are only three. I mean three of them alive at any one time. My father discovered that fact during his appointment with King John. It’s all here. Not much I dare say. I read it on the way over. “
“So you know what is going on.”
“Afraid I do, and I surmise that they are each staggered as to age. They mean to replace the one who is a hundred and fifty years old.”
“You must understand that I will not give in to these crooks.” Jerry stood tall and firm as he spoke, arms folded and legs stiff, his stance reaffirmed his desire to win. “Do you have any suggestions? It’s the modern age, surly there is some way out of this.”
“Well, there is one point that could be brought up.” Both Jerry and Mr. Mitchell looked at Sir Stipple as he spoke. “They didn’t protect the kingdom too well, now did they? I mean here you are, excuse me sir, a distant cousin on the throne.” He didn’t need to finish. They each had images imprinted in their minds from the newspaper accounts of the murders. The king, queen, and children had been bombed by one of the spouses. Gone in a single day.
Mr. Mitchell cleared his throat. “I am afraid that won’t dissolve the contract, not as I read it. Their agreement isn’t for any specific king or queen, but for the kingdom itself.”
Jerry began pacing again.
“Can I make a suggestion?” Mr. Mitchell asked.
“That’s what I am waiting for,” Jerry said in between turns on the worn carpet.
Watching him, Sir Stipple wondered if it was possible to wear a hole in the carpet in a single day.
Just then Jerry’s phone rang. He debated answering it but gave in.
“Oh. Hi darling. Your back so soon. No I am sorry. I can’t come home this minute. I miss you too.” He waited while she blabbed on for a while then asked as casually as he could, “Is you lady in waiting still with you?”
“No, she left a few minutes ago. Why?”
“No reason. Can’t come back right now. It really is life or death, I promise or I wouldn’t stay away.”
It hurt Jerry to hear his wife’s pleas. She has been away for a whole two weeks already.
“Here with me? Jerry squinted his eyes in thought. His wife was hardly a simpleton. Before their marriage she worked as private secretary for the head of NanoCom.
“Ah, you know, that would be great. do you think you slip away without anyone seeing you? The problem is that vital.”
Sir Stipple spoke up, “I could send a car.” Jerry looked over at Sir Stipple and nodded.
“No lady in waiting. Make sure of that. He could tell she was delighted at the subterfuge. Something was up and she knew it. Excited she agreed to slip away immediately.
“Get that car here quick,” she laughed.
“That’s my wife,” Jerry said with a smile. “Your car should be more secret than our chauffeurs, don’t you think?
“Yes, and I’ve sent car. It’s already on its way.” Mr. Stipple said as he hung up his own phone.
“So where were we?”
“No where, so far. Let’s review the contract. Though, I need to admit it looks air tight to me,” admitted Mr. Mitchell.
They each in turn reread the small one page contract that had been typed out in English and set into Mr. Mitchell’s folder.
“If there are only three of them we may be able to contrive some arrangement that would get them together in one place,” Jerry said. “My men can arrest them if that is the case.”
“But if one of them is left out of the ring, then what?” asked Mr. Mitchell.
That would be certainly be a huge problem. Wouldn’t know what the other one looked like at any one time.
“Wouldn’t know who he was exactly,” agreed Mr. Stipple, “And worse, it might be the hundred and fifty year old crazy one who is left out.”
“Does he want to be replaced?” Jerry wondered out loud.
“That’s a good point. In fact, he must be over the bend and senile”
Just then his wife knocked and was told to enter. Both men stood up to greet her, but Jerry got right to the point.
“Sit down dear. I need to show you something.”
They waited patiently while she read the contract. Her face showed various phases of disbelief. Within a few minutes her features changed from interest, to shock, then anger.
“You won’t give in to this, of course.”
“Of course not. That’s why were are gathered here. But so far no solution has come to mind.”
“I am not a novice when it comes to contracts,” at this she bowed to give deference to the Mr. Mitchell who was obviously a lawyer, “But I don’t see any loop holes but one.”
All three heads perked up at her words.
“One?”
“Well, their contract is with the kingdom. What if there isn’t a kingdom?”
“No, kingdom? Sputtered Sir Stipple. My lady surly you don’t mean that.”
“I certainly do.”
“Yes, I see the possibility,” stated Mr. Mitchell with a sigh. “It could be done, of course, but the price is quite high. Perhaps higher than you are willing to pay.”
“What do you mean?” asked Jerry now sitting next to his wife on the sofa.
“Well, you could dissolve the kingdom.” He shuddered as he said the words.
“Unthinkable,” stuttered Sir Stipple. “Unthinkable.”
“Wait, let me think,” Jerry called out. “Let’s think about this.”
The others stared at the king and queen sitting together, then shook their heads.
“But, don’t you see. I’ve hated this job since I landed in it. You need to understand, I came from a democracy. Why and the hell don’t we have one here.”
“Never been tried.”
“Unthinkable,” muttered Mr. Stipple.
“We could do something like they do in
“Would that work Mr. Mitchell?” Jerry’s wife asked.
“Yes actually, it would work. You could declare the country a democracy and remain the titular head until a voting system was set up. Then legally, the contract would be null and void because the kingdom would no longer exist.”
“What steps will I need to take?”
“You’d need to abdicate the throne. But every step of the way would need to be written up into a new contract. You could actually remain the head for a very long time, years if necessary.
“I see. What do you think my dear? Do you think the kingdom will benefit.
“Oh, yes. What fun it would be to begin a democracy, like Benjamin Franklin or George Washington.”
“Afraid it won’t be that exciting in today’s world.” Jerry laughed. “By the way, you need to be careful of your lady in waiting. She is one of them.”
“That solves the legal aspect then.” Agreed Mr. Mitchell.
“We might know who two of them are and I have an idea how we can get them together for arrest.” Jerry laughed. “Yes, it might do nicely.
When Keena looked at him questioningly, he said, “Wouldn’t your lady in waiting be with you until the coupling?”
Kenna smiled along with Mr. Mitchell. “She is always on call and close by.”
Mr. Stipple still wasn’t smiling but he seemed to have stopped fretting.
“Then it is settled?” he asked.
“I will draw up the contract.” Mr. Mitchell said, “And of course you will have other lawyers check it over.”
“I’ll make the announcement on television soon, but first I will present our face-changers with a null and void contract, and perhaps a jail sentence.” He outlined his plan to the others. Then Jerry laughed out loud for the first time in hours and reached over to hug his wife.
“No one ever gave up a kingdom for me before,” she whispered in his ear. He laughed the harder.
The night set aside for the coupling Jerry met with the Viceroy, then he went into the room allotted for him to wait out the visit. He had gotten a tattoo of the seal of the kingdom on his inner thigh, as he told his wife, just in case. Then just as the Viceroy was changing his face, Jerry’s hand-picked guards, Mutt and Jeff, stepped into his wife’s room. His wife was standing next to her maid in waiting. Both the Viceroy and the Lady in Waiting were immediately shot with a quick, nerve numbing tranquilizer and taken away.
As soon as the two were captured and enclosed in such a way that they couldn’t imitate their jailers faces, Jerry felt safe enough to put out his abdication notice on Television. He explained to his public how he had been almost blackmailed and warned that there was still one face-changer out in the population who might do something drastic.
“The contract is null and void. The truth and light of day will finish him,” he told his audience.
Then he waited for the face-changer’s visit, if he dared. He did. He showed up the next day. Another little man with big ears and head. He sputtered and stammered and said that Jerry couldn’t nullify the contract. It was impossible.
“But I already did.” With these the words, the guard shot the face-changer with a tranquilizer that ended the argument.
Jerry remained the elected head of the democracy for many years. Jokes and rumors about face-changers became a recurring fad. The funniest was a television show called, “Show your face.” Jerry laughed to Keena that maybe the rumor was true, maybe a secret face-changer did become an MC on his own television show.
The End