This book is dedicated to the people of the
future
Table of Contents
Introduction
Part I
Audience with God, Nexus, Christ Mentor,
The Source, Talks and Travels
with Jesus,
Tree World, My Spiritual History, Ribbon Lights,
Mind Scenes, God's
World, Blind Gift,
Cotton Seed, Heaven Alive,
Inside Time, Everywhere Space,
Soul Talk, Disaster Worlds, God's
Show
Part II
Message in a Cracked Bottle, Earth Soul, Mythic Portions, Playmates
from Heaven,
Ethos and Pathos,
Connected Souls, The Silent War, Cosmic Voyager,
Riding the Hurricane, Cracks in Time, Sacred Avenues, God's Gift, Earth Speaks,
Introduction
I have been traveling somewhere for as long as I can
remember, Infrequently, to be sure, because sometimes a number of years would
go by before I would be ‘gone traveling’ again. Suddenly I would be standing on
greener grass staring at a bluer sky; then, just as suddenly I would be back
home again. As a general rule, I usually popped in and popped out again within
seconds, never sure where I had gone or why. The first time that I can remember traveling was as a child.
I remember flying in my cousin’s pink chenille bathrobe. I sat down in it,
wrapped the arms around my waist, folded the flaps over my legs and feet and
off I went. I flew off the second floor balcony, swerved left and down towards
the cracked, concrete driveway, skimmed a turning curl near the red brick house
next door, back towards the alley, then up. I towered over the rooftops and
trees of River Rouge,
I
had always assumed that flying in a dream was just that, a dream, until a few
years ago, when I began to travel to other places, within and without of
dreams. These travels are of two kinds: voluntary and involuntary. I make a
deliberate effort to travel to some places but other places I visit, popping in
to and out of, whether I want to go or not, are obviously involuntary. Of the
two kinds, involuntary traveling seems the most intriguing because, though infrequent,
it leads to the most interesting and complex speculations, any one of which is ripe with new ideas about where, how, and
why. Even so, it seems that I can never pull in enough information to complete
the picture, or learn the reason or rational that underlies the travel. But
heaven has given me a promise, "You will understand one day." And,
finally I do, and so will you by the end of this book.
Jesus is my constant companion throughout this book and
initiated many of the later travels so it is natural that I look to him for
answers, which usually come to me in hints rather than direct statements,
puzzles rather than answers, but when Jesus does speak, I try to keep his words as accurate as
possible. But please remember that my writing is done after the fact, not
during his visit. My memory is imperfect therefore my writing is also
imperfect.
At first, when I began this book I had a few facts and a
vast number of speculations as if I were a miner holding a large sieve under a
faucet of running water waiting for gold to appear and just as silly. But
ultimately, I find that gold nuggets have appeared, and are scattered
throughout in abundance. Therefore, this book is a process, a process of
learning and instruction for myself and you, the reader. I find at its end that
I am a new and different person, that my faith has remained solid, that my
questions, if not answered completely to my satisfaction, have at least
matured, and that my love for Jesus is still pure and unshakable. So I ask you to please
come, go with me to wondrous places vivid with speculations and promises,
places in a heaven for our time.
Traveling in Time and Space is comprised of two books. After writing
each book I thought I was finished, it turned out I was not because Jesus requested that I write a new book, again and again. I
am writing one now. And I never know in which direction he will lead
me. Each book or part is set up differently and goes in a different direction.
I wrote most of the introduction for the first book after
I completed it, I didn't know at the time that I would be adding another book
but the information within still holds true for the whole Travel book. The
second book is comprised of new travels to a single specific place, a short
explanation is included in the first chapter. Actually, I don't consider the
Travel book mine in the usual sense, it belongs to Jesus because he authored
much of it. I will say this: I promise you that I have stayed true to his words
and statements as much as I possibly know how.
On this trip I didn’t pop in and out; instead, I was invited, lifted and flown to my destination. Two angels transported me to an audience with God. It happened like this: I sat down on the bed crossing my legs in preparation for meditation, when suddenly two invisible forces took hold of the outside of my shoulders. [1] One angel on each side lifted me, swiftly and easily, through the dark star filled heavens until I was set down on my feet in front of a near blinding, searing, golden light. The angels left me standing there, in terror and alone, in front of this swirling, golden maelstrom that filled all space with God's might.
I felt my insides squeeze, my guts wither and dry as if beneath a hot desert sun. Feeling abject shame and fear, I begged my body to crunch down or curl into a fetal position to hide, but could not, my body refused to obey. So I stood, it seemed forever, looking into a vast, swirling yellow mist. Finally, after long minutes of intrigue, I thought I saw a figure behind gold waves and swirls, a body, "a face?" a directional focus to direct my fright and anxieties.
Impatient and fearful, I gathered up enough courage to speak calling out to the billowing, mighty force in front of me, “We need heaven! We need justice!”
Then cringing inside at my audacity under this vast universal chamber sky, I felt a true smallness and worthlessness of being, I was an ant watching a huge boot descend from above, I was a fallen moth with fire blackened wings, I was a little person exhausted from terror. It was then that a powerful, male voice vibrated and thundered through all of space, “Heaven is not what you think!” “There will be justice!"
After God's voice answered me, I literally fell back onto my bed. Suddenly I was back in my sitting position, back into myself, so to speak, more quickly than I had ascended. I had fallen back to earth like a discarded piece of tissue wrapping paper, cut bow dangling, war torn and changed. I had been abruptly flung back to earth, my house, my bed--dismissed. I had the sensation of having fallen from a great height--no angels carried me home.
Shook-up, I got out of bed and went downstairs. I needed a cigarette (I still smoked back then) and a cup of hot coffee badly. Swirling questions and thoughts kept me awake all that night. I didn’t know how to feel. I wasn’t sure if I felt like a damp piece of ragged, dirty cloths or a new, polished copper penny. I had a hard time adjusting to what had just happened. I kept asking myself, “Why me? Why did God speak to me? God! Really God?"
The next day, I was still in a quandary of amazement; I don’t think, to this day that I have completely recovered my equilibrium from that visit. I doubt that I will ever solve all the questions still spewing around inside my head. I know I will never forget and I will never be the same. Will I ever stop asking myself why and what God meant? I have come up with some theories, and bit by bit, with the help of Jesus, I am slowly searching out answers. My mentor, Jesus Christ, who is also a friend, companion, guru, master, Lord, teacher, and lover is slowly directing me through these many questions and answers. I will share my experiences with you as I learn and explore.
Just recently, in the fall of 97, I abruptly and involuntarily traveled to a place I call Nexus because it looked like a hundred mobius strips tied together into a knotted center with people riding roads up and down, around, going ever-which-way. One minute I was sitting with my head back, arms on lap, sigh of quiet pleasure, a cup of tea on the table, peace and joy intended, relaxed in my chair, when, suddenly, I was somewhere else. I stood inside a vast amphitheater, a glass bubble filled with the bustle of people going about their business with, it seemed to me, a quiet, determined energy. Overhead, I saw a deep blue/black star-specked sky. Star light shined down and reflected off the moving figures, coating them in dull, washed-out hues; star people riding the multiple road-ways or escalators that spread upwards and outwards in every direction, some leaving, some coming my way, up, down, and across. Most people wore cloaks with hoods the color of star-washed sepia, pale pinks, or somber greens. I watched figures disappear into the sky at the top and others appear; seemingly, out of nowhere.
No one looked my way or took any notice of me as I stood there gawking. Perhaps no one would have ever noticed me if it hadn't been for a young lady who almost walked into me. She stopped, startled by my presence.
“Why! You’re from Earth!” she exclaimed.
Her voice held a hint of amusement as her face smiled at me. Her light, beautiful, skin shone radiant while her eyes sparked in ripples of amused light. Hood slung far back on her head, light blond hair askew, one bare arm reached out of a large over-cuff towards me. Just then, at the part where she would have touched my arm or I would have gathered up the nerve to ask, “Who are you?” or "Where am I?” I popped back into my chair.
Stunned, I sat there for a few unbelievable moments before I could pull myself back together. I needed to think about what had just happened. What had happened? The questions kept circling around in my head, “Where did I go.” “Who was that lady” “Why did I leave from there so quickly” Fear, I think, is what sent me back into my chair, fear because the place was just too strange. But, I shouldn’t have been so upset; this kind of sudden, involuntary travel has happened to me before, many times in fact, but the vivid abruptness of each trip makes me gasp anew, as if I needed to catch my breath from underwater. Each time it happens I feel shocked that it could, I feel stymied, empty, unfinished. And my biggest question is not, “Where did I go,” so much as it is, “Why can’t I stay longer.”
No answer, of course. So, I am left to wonder if it is fear of strange places that pull me back into my chair or is it inexperience or a dislike of new adventure? Am I too timid to travel? I don’t believe any of this for a minute; I am not afraid of strange places or new adventures, so why can't I stay longer?
Well, more questions than I can ever answer roll through my mind: Who was the lady? Why could she speak English? Why did she startle at my presence? Where did I go? Could I stay longer next time? When I try to sort out the questions or try to answer them, I keep getting farther into nowhere.
Was the lady startled because I was from earth, or because a chance meeting with an Earthling is infrequent? I wondered if her English was spoken inside my mind or if it could be a universal language? Not likely. Were the other figures human? She certainly looked and acted human. Could the visual setting have been taken from my mind so that I saw only what I could ‘put together’ or ‘was programmed to see’? I have learned through the years that we can only see what we are accustomed to seeing. Could it have been a dream? “No,” it was too vivid; besides I was wide-awake.
My visit to Nexus seemed to take only a minute to begin and end. It was so short that I’ve had to re-play the event in my mind so I could describe it. Which leads me to ask, “If the visit was so short, just what part of myself actually went to Nexus, my body, my mind or both? A minute of time hardly allowed for my actual, one hundred and thirty five plus pounds of body to leave, go to some place in space or time or somewhere beyond Earth then travel back again to drop back into my easy chair.
However I want to play with questions and answers, I did experience some kind of dislocation in space/time; so, I surmise that it must have been a type of out-of-body experience. I say a type of OBE because in the usual out-of-body experience you have the feeling of being in two places at once, in fact, you can see your body down below, sitting or laying, as you float above it tied by a silver cord. When I traveled to Nexus, I had no sensation of my body moving apart from my mind or of being in two places at once. I felt whole and together, despite being a little shook up. What I felt was immediate, sudden, and involuntary. There was no forethought of where I would like to go or how; my soul/mind just popped into Nexus and out again.
I have learned since I went to Nexus that I don’t stay long in one place, not because I am too timid or afraid, but because I need to take these awe inspiring bits of knowledge in small doses so I don’t get culture shock. I need much more information to decide what exactly is happening when I travel. One event that may hint towards an answer is something my mentor and guide, Jesus Christ, told me after he took me to revisit Nexus (at my request). He told me that I couldn’t go up one of the road-ways or escalators because “It would take me too far,” and that, “I wasn’t ready, yet.” I am not sure if he was referring to my mental inability or my lack of knowledge or my cultural ineptitude. One day I will ride to the top of Nexus.
Jesus Christ’s love is a light that surrounds the earth, a lacy, air-net, shimmering with light that grows, strand-by-strand, prayer-by-prayer, and lover-by-lover. His love multiplies like lace on a loom each silver thread, each flowery string connecting one person to another, each to every other and back to Christ. This all-encompassing web of emotional light swirling around our world is creating and expanding itself all the time. I sometimes compare it to the World Wide Web, flowing with energetic output and input, switches turned on but never off.
At first the global internet doesn't seem a good analogy to spiritual love, but ideas aggregate to one another, theories coalesce, old definitions squander limits without new input and modern ideas. I find that modern scientific thinking can enhance religious ideas rather than hinder. New terms can pull us away from old-fashioned thinking. Jesus can indeed be made of light energy and, just as strange; God can easily permeate the substance of the universe through the new ideas in relativity or quantum physics. All of us whether saints, prophets or just ordinary people are made of electrons and mostly empty space. We all interface and take part in the dance of the universe.
I often imagine Jesus’ time as computer time. Then it would be as nothing to appear at two places at once and talk to a lot of people, to be on earth and photo-imaging Saturn at the same time. Computers can. A Science Fiction book I read once had Einstein reborn in a computer; he could speak to many people at a time because he lived in nanoseconds while we dragged out our lives in normal slow time. I am not saying Jesus is a computer; my point is that, modern terms can help us imagine his attributes, to make them more visible to us. And, just as many industrial machines would have looked amazing to someone long ago, it may be that God's ‘machines’ look like unfathomable magic to us. I always worry about using up Jesus' time, but he assures me that I needn’t worry, that I am not using up any of his time. Somehow, by a mechanism I can't understand, he can be with me and with you at the same time. Somehow he can be at my side as mentor and guide, and yours too.
Every one who wants to mind-travel should have a guide or mentor. A mentor can introduce us into new areas of interest and enhance our understanding of where to go and what to do. Usually, our mentor will act as leader when we are afraid to venture further than we have gone before. Also, we usually get a sense of kinetic energy and power from a mentor that restores balance to our psyche. Lastly, we need our mentor to shore up our belief in our own powers of vision and love. Love can be a hard idea to grasp and keep. The idea that it is love which allows us free movement and joining throughout the universe must be felt to be believed and then reinforced time after time through imagination. Some people may catch on sooner than others, I did not. Sometimes I still grope forward blindly. At times, I've acted infantile, I feel shamed by my behavior but I will tell you about it anyway so you can see Jesus' love.
One night I was so distressed I kept screaming in a rage to Jesus, angels or anyone within my voice range. I stormed up and out into the blackness of space, assumed a fetal position, and then pulled blackness around myself like a cloak. I wanted dark, emptiness, aloneness. He spoke my name and I cried the more lashing out my anger and hopelessness; “Why, Why, Why”? I screamed at Jesus, at all of heaven. Finely, temper tantrum over, feeling wrenched and wrung dry, I opened the dark, silent shell and let his softness envelop me. I knew my behavior was childish and belittling and it embarrasses me still to write of it. But my scream of hurt and pain and Jesus healing can serve a purpose, it can show you Jesus’ reaction of understanding and tolerance. It points out his love even when we don't disserve it. Jesus long enduring love is what helps us heal our wounds and keep moving through life. I've learned that heaven can help our feelings but often heaven can't or prefers not to change the circumstances that cause the pain.
My reputation is what I was screaming about. A number of lies had been going around about me for years. A specific lie seemed to be more alive than I was and usually got where I was going before me. I couldn’t understand why Jesus didn’t stop this lie from hurting me. It seemed as if all heaven ever did was soothe my wounds, a great gift unless you are at the end of tolerance like I was that moment. Truthfully, I couldn’t have survived my sanity without Heaven’s soothing help; I realized this at the time but I wanted a real fix up, a real solution, real involvement from heaven. I felt like a modern day Job but without the good ending. Now that the pain is over, more or less, I have learned that there was some purpose to all the horrible madness I endured, I needed to build up a tough hide against gossip. Instead of worrying what other people say about me, I needed to get active and forget about untruths. Besides, most people don't realize the pain they are causing or that I know when I am being talked about. I have mentally seen people as they discuss me from miles away, though I can't always understand what is said, nor is what they say always hurtful. It is easy to talk about other people and I try to catch myself before I begin because it hurts deeply to be slandered or gossiped about. The pain can be mind destroying, especially if it is deliberate and slanderous.
Jesus was probably referring to my mental anguish when he told me “Many people never make it this far.”
I assume he meant that many people are driven to commit suicide. We all have lessons that we need to learn in life. I already feel sorrow for your pain, your puzzlement, and your agony because spiritual growth is always painful. Remember, your pain may serve a purpose as mine has. My pain may be the thorn that caused me to finally write this book or the impetus that got me moving further towards heaven. Whatever you do, don’t give up, let Jesus be your guide.
Many religions require mentors or guides as a step towards the deeper, hidden mysteries. It was while reading about the Sufis that my hunger for a mentor grew into uncontrollable proportions. I thought that I couldn’t continue my spiritual growth without some kind of help but despaired of getting it. Lack of money, as usual, was my limiting factor. Nothing in life is free and neither are some religions, I realized when I wanted to take a TM (Transcendental Meditation) class; or the time I desired to go on a retreat to shore up my faith; both were far beyond my means. I was afraid that my spiritual growth was stopped cold. I needn’t have worried because Jesus stepped in to fill the gap.
He was suddenly ‘there’ beside me. What did I feel? It was many years ago but I imagine that I felt then as I feel now when Jesus is suddenly ‘there’ beside me. I feel expanded into his realm, I sense a deep reciprocal love pour between us, and most of all, I perceive his presence with a certainty and truthfulness that is hard to define. He gives off an aura of wisdom and lordship. Let me add here that even though we all have our inner voices, our conscience, and I certainly have mine, even though there are other speakers out there, gurus, saints, and angels at various places, even though some messengers speak falsely, when Jesus stands beside me, I do not doubt it is Jesus. It is only later, after he has left that my doubts surface. It is then that I question if that was Jesus or an imitation. Doubts always plague me because I have a great tendency toward mistrust, but then his smile will reassure me, his message comfort me, and my soul will know him. I’ve told Jesus of these doubts I experience after he has gone, he told me, “You always know.”
So He stepped in and took up the role as my mentor, which at first, may seem unbelievable, but isn’t because he is there for all of us when we pray. I am proud to have Jesus as a guide. In the past he was there when I needed him, too. I would pray and often feel a flow of inner peace and harmony as an answer. But this was different, more personal and true. Jesus as my guide. In all these years, the strangeness and startlement of it hasn’t lessened, sometimes I still think I am a little crazy but Jesus assures me that he is he. Every once in a while, quite often at first, I’d gather up the nerve to ask again, “Are you really Jesus, the one who died for us?”
This is not as stupid a question as it seems because there are many people ‘up there’ and none of them have names, that I know of, only personality or “character.” This means that when you travel you are flying almost blind because you have no referents. You tend to feel lost in a topsy-turvy topological landscape, a maze of nameless people and places. What is in a name? I didn’t realize how dependent I was on such a simple reference like a name. It's like trying to think without labels or write without capitals. I don’t know how other people perceive me 'up there' because no one has ever asked me my name nor have I asked them for theirs. Just by meeting a person you can feel that he or she is enlightened or holy.
One man I saw, obviously a great teacher, was sitting in front of red curtains, with his legs crossed in a yoga position, speaking to a group of initiates. He looked up at me as we arrived and smiled, none of his initiates turned to look at us. Another person I met wore a beard and long robe and showed me a glowing, silver book saying that I would learn many things from it. So names are not needed here, which brings up another point. There seems to be no way of knowing if a person is alive (on earth alive) or not (alive there but dead on earth). Alive or dead, the definition hardly matters because when standing in the presence of a great, holy person, all referents pale.
The usual referents don't apply to Jesus Christ either; we can throw away our measuring sticks when Jesus is nearby. With Jesus as my guide my knowledge increased quickly. He took me to visit people and places I would have never thought of alone. These visits never lasted longer than a minute or two but always had some meaning beyond my comprehension at the time. Often Jesus would ask me where I wanted to visit, he'd take my hand and off we'd go. I usually chose exotic places off world.
The first time we went to Mars, I was awe struck even though I couldn't see anything through the sand storm that was raging. As we stood against a vertical rock-face, sand blew past us turning even the close rock-face hazy, plus it was very dark so we couldn't see much. We both reached out our hands and touched the rock` I felt a thrill jolt through me from the excitement of it. Then we were gone. I remember my trip to Mars with Jesus whenever I begin to feel sorry for myself for the worldly adventures I am missing. Who else can say they've been to Mars?
One time I
asked Jesus to take me to his favorite place on Earth. We went to
“It's not as green now, is it?” I said to him.
“No,” His smile held a sadness that wasn't there before as we left and went to visit other places.
It seemed to me that our relationship grew as time went on, I mean in the sense that he became more visual. I now realized that I could speak directly to Jesus and, more importantly, occasionally, though always with minimal words, he would answer. Now I thought I could get some real answers from him about the universe and our place in it. Nothing, of course, should be too easy, and getting solid answers from Jesus was not.
I didn’t get an answer to broad questions: What is the purpose of the universe? Why is there pain? What are we here for? Are we evolving, getting better? Is heaven out there or in here or is heaven in the future or now? But, when I asked questions that were answerable, relating to human concerns, I would often receive an answer and lesson by experiencing it first hand.
I have always had a soft spot of special love and concern in my heart for young children, often to the exclusion of other people. One day a female voice, Jesus’ mother, Mary, said, “You are all children.”
At that time, the phrase didn’t really hit me in the guts. Sure we all know we are children in some ways but we are not helpless and innocent like a very young child.
“I don’t understand,” I said to Jesus. He smiled and said, “You will.”
A short time later, someone I knew, call her Sue, did something so infantile and believed in this infantile act so strongly, even though all the people around knew how immature it was, that my psyche got hit with a good dose of reality. It caused me to take another look around at people and see through new eyes our little plays for attention, our trite excuses, and our extravagant wants.
Later, I felt Jesus smile as I replayed Mary’s words, “You are all children,”
I see this often now in all of us, myself most of all. Our childishness, small hidden needs and drives have become obvious, yet we keep on struggling to grow up. I think that in heaven’s eyes, we are like infants, each of us at a different, young stage of development. There may be as many different levels of spiritual development as there are people on earth. Imagine how wise a person could become if they had a hundred more years of health and learning in which to grow. Could this be why Jesus is so tolerant? Perhaps, he thinks we all belong in kindergarten. He laughed when I told him this, yes Jesus does laugh often. This lesson wasn’t earth shattering; it was only a small bit of understanding, a little step toward growth for me. Small events happen all the time, it was Mary's words that made the event stick to memory, to further my own development, just one small step towards that elusive, unreachable goal - wisdom.
This is how heaven teaches. Most of you already know this through your own experience with prayer that Jesus teaches by hints, coincidences, and miracles. We usually can feel his acceptance or displeasure at our thoughts or actions. Jesus speaks to other people too, I am not the only one, it is just that I feel the urge and need to write what I learn down. Jesus is constantly teaching and encouraging everyone’s spiritual growth. We have all felt him, we have all known him. He is as close to us as we permit him to be.
I should explain something about my relationship with Jesus; I don’t ask Jesus too many questions because it is hardly my place to grill Jesus, who is Lord. Who am I to demand answers to questions that mankind has been asking since the Greeks began philosophizing back in 600 BC. In fact, I found, to my consternation, that it is almost impossible to know what questions should be asked. Like a child who asks why the sun is yellow, we ask the wrong question, the answer of which may be completely inappropriate or even unanswerable.
Imagine, if you will, trying to explain to someone a hundred years ago even a small segment of your modern life. How could you explain that you go to work and use a machine that can do addition hundred times faster and better than the human brain or that you drive to work at sixty miles per hour, or put your cloths in a machine and they come out clean and then dry. What questions would they ask of you and how could you answer any of their questions intelligently? You could not. You would need to reduce the answer to fit the questioner, just as heaven must reduce answers to us. I imagine I have perplexed heaven with some of my questions over the years. To get real answers, I think, we will need to learn to ask the right questions.
I just now realized that I need to make a declaration! I never intend or mean to imply in my writings or words anything opposite to Christian belief. Even so, I don’t wish to involve myself in the usual theological questions and answers. I don’t care who Jesus is by definition. Jesus can be God, the Son of God, the Trinity, a great religious genius or just a prophet. He is who he is. He is my mentor. He is there for me. He teaches me. He loves me. What more do I need to know? As my mentor, he has taken me places and showed me events that helped me grow spiritually. More than this I don’t need to know.
He as told me I could refer to him as Lord. I usually call him Jesus but think of him as Lord or Jesus Christ. Besides, if I ponder too much on just who Jesus is, I begin to feel insecure and inhibited. This is not what my growth is about; I need be myself with him, outgoing, curious, friendly, and loving. Above all, I need to keep the fires of imagination burning because that is the secret door through which all knowledge gropes.
I’ve noticed that
Jesus has been giving me more direct answers since I
began writing this book. In fact, it is Jesus who encourages me when I despair
of ever finishing it. I like to think that this book will somehow be an asset
to people at some future time. Perhaps someone will find it on a dusty, future
shelf and take it to heart. When I told Jesus that I was going to write this
book, he liked the idea. Perhaps because of this, I’ve noticed am unable to
write anything that is directly contrary to what Jesus wants in it. I don’t mean
that what I do write is the whole, absolute, truth, what I mean is that it can
not, in any way, be an un-truth; a statement incompatible to Jesus and Heaven.
There is a subtle difference between the two states of truth. My memory is
fallible and imperfect; I have forgotten specific details about my travels with
Jesus because some of those events happened years ago and I may have mixed up
the details. Yet, what I write is as true and honest as I know how. Sometimes
all I remember are the questions. Just recently, Jesus improved my peace of
mind by answering a few of my many questions.
The Source
Last night I witnessed the most astonishing and unfathomable place in the universe. I was accompanied by both Jesus and Mary; this was the first time I traveled with both Jesus and Mary, as we watched what must be the first wonder of the universe, a Verde opera of immensity, a vast outpouring of life in un-measurable proportions.
We stood on the edge of a dark cloud, as if on a cliff, looking far into deepest space. Translucent streamers of soft glistening, pearl light flowed past us.
“Turn around,” Jesus said to me, pointing. “Look.”
A cinematic proliferation of life swirled at us from a single vortex far on the horizon. I saw eddies of tangled life curling away in all directions, as if birthed from a single source of energy, out of this point of energy poured a virtual potpourri of life: Gold people, black people, faces smiling, faces crying, faces screaming, groups of people huddling near fire, people dancing, humongous hoards moving, people clothed in reds and blues, pinks and green stripes, people running shouting, screaming; animal forms, indescribable contortions of heads, arms and legs, bodies with stiff spiked fur, glistening diamond scales, wet eyes, staring eyes, weeping eyes, webbed feet, needle toes, needle teeth, blunt crunching teeth with open jaws, an elephant standing in fire grass, birds filling the air with red wings. A panorama of worlds fanned out as if from a streaming cinema screen, whole cities, sky rises, glass houses, mountains, countryside’s with green trees and yellow grass, oceans rubbing rocky land, pink suns, orange suns, suns dancing with moons shinning color wheel variations, plants, flowers, leaves, upside-down trees.
As I stood watching this cornucopia of world zoos filled with moving, living, breathing life, twisting out from its point source, I could only stare, mind-boggled with wonder, eyes flickering between chaos and normalcy. Normalcy because a real star
spangled universe surrounded this vast outpouring. Tiny pin points of stars blazed in a million dots of light against a dark velvet background, as if to frame an oil painting the size of a solar system. Then once again, my eyes would flicker back to the vortex of energy streaming towards me.
“But, what am I seeing?” I asked myself. “What is it?” Instantaneous birth? Riotous thoughts? Plato’s perfect forms? DNA run amok? Egg yolk? The vortex created, multiplied, grew, became, stretched as we watched. A point source--of everything?
“Yes,” Jesus suddenly said to me, “This is The Source.”
I understood him to mean an out flowing from the All, the One, the Everlasting, the Eternal, the universal God: Brahma, Yahweh, Allah, El, Zeus, Vishnu...
As we turned away and left this spectral theater of life, I felt relieved because even though I yearned to absorb it all, to suck it all in, I felt overwhelmed with culture shock. Suddenly, I felt wrung dry of emotion; they were right, it was time to leave. After all, I am just a little person, not up to universal sightseeing.
“How would I ever describe what I just seen,” I asked Jesus later, “I don’t know if I could put it in my book.”
“Write it in your book,” Jesus instructed.
“But I don’t know how. How can I picture it all? How would I describe what I saw? It was too much,” I complained to him, but he was gone. My objection fell on the empty space around my chair. Sometimes, that is his way.
I have tried to describe to you what poured out of the vortex, The Source, to the best of my ability, and I think I did a fair job of it, but I cannot, by any means imaginable, understand or defend its logic. You and I are both perplexed, how could we not be? To me it remains an enigma of universal proportions.
Nevertheless, I derive great solace from the memory. When my mind seethes with doubts, when I question my own sanity, I need only recall my abrupt visit to The Source. The memory of its vivid outpouring, its actuality, and its perplexity always sets me back on a straight path, as does the memory of my visit to Nexus and audience with God. The Source also serves me as a kind of measuring stick; after this, the other places I visit are tame.
Jesus, just recently, sat down next to me on the couch. His behavior floored me because it was totally unprecedented and unusual. Not only had Jesus never sat down with me before, but he’d never seemed inclined to answer my specific questions. I felt so flabbergasted that I didn’t have questions ready to mind, so, the first question I asked him was silly. I asked if he felt like he was real and solid or does he feel like subtle, insubstantial matter. I apologize for this first question but it is one I’d been wanting to know for a quite a while because of his closeness and his there-ness has often thrown me into a quandary of uncertainty. Many times, I had asked him, “How can you be so ‘there’, are you inside or outside? While we sat together, I also asked him if he had a body somewhere else or if he just a projection?
He didn't answer all the questions but only the first by explaining, “Yes,” that he does have a body and that he felt real and solid as he sat and talked to me. I think this meant that his reality is more real than ours. I also asked him about the difference between other earth people I have met up there (during mind travel), and the angels and saints. I wondered if I’d met people visiting from Earth and, “How can I tell who is who?”
“Yes,” he said, “It was as I thought. There are some people who live on earth who send their minds out and I have met a few.” He also explained that I could tell if a person was from Earth or Heaven by the length of time they could stay. People from Earth are still inept at moving around in space and time. He explained further that I would not meet nor could I meet and know everyone who is out there. “But,” He added, ”There are not very many from earth.”
“Do you mean that there are not enough?” I asked.
He answered by telling me that more people need to send their minds out to him. He included the instruction that they would also need to prepare themselves for travel and that a most important requirement would be his guidance.
Then I asked him what I should call other people I might meet who are not from Earth, he answered that I’d think of something. Finally I asked him, “What should I call you?” He answered, ”Lord.” At this I almost wept from the emotional embrace of love as his words surrounded me. Many times I have cried real tears from the sheer joy of being close to him.
Hesitating,
at first, I asked him why he loved me. It seemed to me that I’d been receiving
the best end of our relationship; I didn’t feel worthy to be his close friend.
“I am hardly a great person,” I explained to him, “I am not in Africa or
I sat amazed at his statement and wondered what he meant. Did he mean that in different lifetimes I loved him as I grew older, did he mean I loved him even as a child, or did he mean that in some other place and time I loved him. No answer. Not from him or myself. It is remarks like this that keep my head spinning and, I need to admit, my mind searching for the elusive answers wrapped in the mystery of my relationship with Jesus, God and the universe.
One day
while I was wondering if I should write this book and why, Jesus explained to me that, “It is
time for people to believe a new paradigm.” He meant that it was time for
people to look off the earth, to reach outside of themselves, to join and visit
with other living beings beyond. As a comparison, we could use
“Does that mean that we will soon be allowed to join them?” I asked.
“Yes!” was his answer, “Yes!” His yes was exciting.
Imagine how interesting a meeting between people on Earth and people from other places in the universe would be. I have met an odd assortment of people for a few seconds, here and there, when I traveled with Jesus; but not many because I didn’t stay long in any one place. He has taken me by the hand (often I see his hand but the rest of him is indistinct and hard to see in detail) and led me to diverse places in the universe. I’ll try to describe a few of the more memorable places for you, but keep in mind that these images were as much felt as seen. Also, each place had an atmosphere of style or essence different from what we are used to on Earth. Sometimes it was hard for me to see and understand what I was looking at.
The first time I met some people in space, it was with a background of stars, this may have been because it was easier to focus on just a few people than a whole scene full of unknown fauna and life. Then later, after I become more accustomed to traveling, I met people living on other worlds.
One world I remember vividly because it felt like a song. We stood near greenery of different heights and looked through it into the far distance at high ribbon and bow towers that seemed to float rather than stand against the sky, (on closer inspection this proved false). As we walked closer we met people that were so tall and thin they towered over us. They were beautiful and pleasant with singing laughter; this may be why I remember their world as like music. I can’t remember what clothing they wore only their smiles and tinkle bell voices. Their city, if that is what it was, felt spacious and fluttery, pastel buildings set wide apart, reaching up high and floating like notes on a flute, musical graffiti linking one tall tower to the next against a pale blue sky. This was my impression - all pleasantness and beauty, if their world had any discord, I wasn’t there long enough to see or feel it. I don't know the reason Jesus took me there, he didn’t say, but perhaps he wanted to show me that a real world could resemble paradise. Our world may resemble paradise one day too.
In February of this year, 1998, Jesus showed me the future. I was meditating, not in any trance or under hypnosis, just quietly sending my mind outwards. I could see Jesus as a soft, white blur in space. He put out his hand and led me to a future that was very different from the present time because it was less mechanical, people used mental imagery to activate and move items as well as themselves. I met a young male initiate lifting, or rather, trying to lift a large item off the table with his mind.
He turned and said to us as we walked into the room from outside, “This is extremely hard to do.” The object, whatever it was, dropped back onto the table as he spoke.
Perhaps it would clarify what I describe, or fail to describe, if you remember that feelings are the determinant factor in this state of being. It felt right to be led here by Jesus; nevertheless, I had a hard time focusing on what he wanted me to see, and this unfocus affected me even though I had been to this same spot once before. I remembered the same multi-colored glass buildings far in the background and the same simple, white buildings close up but from a different angle.
The room that the young man stood in was bare and sparsely furnished, all I could see clearly was a wood table. There may have been counters against one wall. Everything else in the room seemed pale or light in color. To be honest, I can’t remember what else was in the room. I got the impression of an unhurried pace and simplicity, as if there was all the time in the world to accomplish his goal. I could not see or define the item laying on the table that the young man was trying to mind-lift even though the table was sitting right in front of me. Shortly, we nodded and smiled at the young man as we turned and left.
Warm hazy sun light blinded me for a second as we walked out of the cool room into a small dirt clearing and then over to a grassy rock strewn hill. There, among the daises, weeds and wild grass, we sat and rested and talked. Thinking about what we had just seen, I asked Jesus if this setting in the future was something that he wanted or something he hoped would happen or was it, instead, a real unfolding of future events.
He answered with the words, “It is real” and a smile.
Did he mean it would be real or that it was real now? I don’t know. Jesus conversations are usually short, sparse and infrequent, he speaks few words with much intent.
Jesus always seems tall, large and
manly to me. He glows with an inner and outer light, which makes it hard to
actually see specific details, but his eyes, clear as glass, sparkle with an
inner mirth and wisdom. During his life, he probably looked
It may be important, but it is so hard for me to say exactly what Jesus looks like. Last night he looked and acted authoritative like a powerful king. He held out both his hands and put them onto mine, red wounds filled the palms of his hands, (not the wrists). I realize these were symbols, yet, he seemed larger than life and so much there that I felt an immense, overpowering love for him, a yearning and drawing towards his being that rips at my emotions.
I'll try but it is hard to describe his face even though I can still see it in my mind, this even though I am an artist. I think his hair was dark and he was wearing white with a red over-cloak. If eyes are the pathway into the soul, his have the depth of a universe behind them. More than this I can't say. Once when he held out his hand for me to take, it changed about three times from rough to plump to old and then young and long fingered. Did he do this because he meant to jolt me from my compliancy? Was it another lesson to encourage my thinking process? He has done this often enough, or was this changing image a mental defect on my part, an inability to focus on his exact form? I don’t know.
Mutability, though odd, is not important. All things are possible in the Universe. As I mentioned before, items ‘there’ are not set in concrete. It may be that I give Jesus a body from my imagination or, more likely, that he shows himself to me as he thinks I would want to see him at that moment in time. Jesus says that soon I will see him and know exactly what he looks like, in detail. He doesn’t mean that I will die. Perhaps he means that I will be able to write a description of him for this book? Usually when I am traveling, I find it easy to change my looks or the cloths I wear, what takes skill is to stay changed and in focus. It also takes far too much mental power for me to stay or linger in a certain locality, especially if it is strange looking and therefore hard to grasp. This changeability or mutability doesn’t always apply. Nexus, I think, would be an exception to this rule as would the future time Jesus and I went to. I know it sounds crazy but there may be differences in the solidity of different places or in a place’s changeability. I have been told that it is more difficult to influence matter on Earth than it is some other places and that is why we can’t change our environment with only our minds, this is besides the fact that most of our mental abilities lay dormant and unused. I think imagination is the door to unlocking these mental abilities.
One Sunday
morning during Catholic Mass, I saw Jesus as a white blur moving around
the church. He looked like a silver streak of light moving across the front of
the church near the alter and then into a front pew. Then he semi-materialized
beside me, kneeling, leaning forward with hands folded in prayer. He seemed
very amused when he said, “You are the only one...” Then in a flash, he was
gone. I couldn’t hear all that he said but I think he meant that I was the only
one who was able to see him in church that day. But I am used to seeing people
from heaven in church. I often sit with angels in church, they give me a
sense of comrade and pleasure. I think angels fill all churches during Saturday
and Sunday services, perhaps, they fill churches and mosques and synagogues
everywhere. I am not sure if it is true, but I think it is a beautiful idea.
What are angels anyway, you might want to ask. Well I did ask. “Angels are love beings,” was the answer. This is their purpose in life; this is why they exist - to share their love. Some, as I have experienced, exist to serve God and none of us can doubt that they are needed in this universe. Some angels don’t fit our definition of true angel because they put on human clothing and culture then visit our cities and shopping malls disguised to look human. If you want some advise, always give to a person begging on the street, you never know when it might be an angel in disguise. If your mind is tuned in you might hear them speak to you, non-verbally. It is more a silent communication or subtle recognition than speech. This kind of spark can also flow between two spiritually minded people meeting unexpectedly, but an angel has a different flavor or essence. Now I am grasping at straws to explain something I’ve noticed but can’t define. Perhaps I should not try.
Tree World
How can you absorb the essence of a world in a single moment? That’s what I tried to do this evening. I intended to smell it, suck it in, know it, and feel it. As it turned out, I could barely focus on any significant details. “Tonight,” Jesus promised, “We will visit a new world.” I had been hesitant and slightly uncertain of going to new worlds but now I was determined, ready to go; then, after all my mental preparation, we spent only a few fast minutes on the world.
We arrived on a road that ran up and down low hills. Suddenly, a square low-sided vehicle came racing over the hill right towards us. Zip, we’d have been squashed if we were made out of sterner stuff. The vehicle flew up and down the hills and away, a speeding roller coaster. I am sure it had wheels but I wonder if they ever touched ground.
And to think earth has crazy drivers.
If I remember right it was an open vehicle with low sides with six people sitting inside, three in front and back. They were moving around, nodding heads, waving arms and calling out, not I think in warning to us, but in enjoyment. It’s a wonder no one fell out when the car drove up and down those steep hills. Considering the danger of the open car and their fast speed, all six people seemed extraordinarily unafraid for their situation. It made me compare them to earth kids out for a joy ride.
I had no way of knowing if they were young kids or not, but they acted in character, actually like cartoon characters on a Saturday morn kids show. Their faces, long and narrow, had large black areas where eyes and mouths should be. I remembered one person had a tuff of hair jutting up from his/her forehead. With no obvious windshield, I don’t know how their hair or clothing stayed put, if it did.
The landscape looked normal: a picturesque blue sky stuffed with fluffy white clouds floating overhead, it looked no different than a sunny day in the country. The grass and trees looked a yellowish green, but this could have been their autumn season. Trees of various shapes and sizes grew on the hills in the distance; yet, only low grass and tiny flowers grew near the smooth road which wound up and down the hills like a narrow ribbon. Bright sunlight shinning through the trees made crisscross patterns across the hills and road. With the yellow/green scenery and speeding car, I felt right at home, the only thing missing was a blaring radio.
This was when Jesus pointed out to me that every world had its own social problems, implying that those speeders were one of this world’s problems. Social complexity and the problems created because of them are a necessary condition for growth. “Each world is at a different stage of development,” Jesus told me. He also explained that earth was unique in a number of select areas, but not in the social arena, conflict and strife run rampant on many worlds, struggle and change a basic way of life.[2] I think if the universe has any meaning, that meaning must be life--life in constant flux, moving to the dance of the universe.
Our next visit to Tree World [3]two months later, was more instructive; nevertheless, puzzling. We entered a city square, a wide flat area surrounded by tall buildings, jam-packed with tall, fast-walking, people. Their gait was odd, the bottom half seemed to move before the top half. Jerking would be a more accurate description than walking. The city was a bustle of high energy everywhere I looked.
I watched as a tall person came to a long row of tall chairs high off the ground. He/she sat down on one chair and the row of chairs began to move, rolling away sideways forcing people to step out of its way. All through the city square crowds of people moved, almost running, in every direction. I looked a over low railing and saw lines of people, four abreast, hurrying below street level into a tunnel entrance, while, across the opening, another group stood tall, quiet, and silent, their rigid stance forcing other energetic people to stop, then go around. I watched as one person stopped, quickly in front of the group then detoured hurriedly around as if the group’s obstruction were only a slight annoyance. The group that stood as still as stone was accomplishing or acting out what Jesus told me was a “Resistance Prayer.”
I mentioned to Jesus that, Resistance Prayer, was a perfect description of events. This one group was resisting a whole crowd. People toggled into a new gear change at each step around the resistance group. Everyone, except the group holding the “Resistance Prayer” acted highly energetic. I saw it as twitching. I wondered suddenly what they would think of my walk if they could see me because I didn’t think they could see us as we walked through their city observing them or I would have seen a reaction; although, I don’t believe we were infringing on their privacy because we were in a public area.
As we walked amid a large group of hurrying people, suddenly, unexpectedly, popped a large ten (?) foot tall machine forcing people to scatter away in new directions. It had claws or brushes lined up on each side whirling and whizzing around; obviously, it was a street cleaning, monster machine. It didn’t give any warning to people to move away, unless it used a silent whistle. Amazingly, I was the only one bothered by the machine’s intrusion, the vast crowd took it all in stride; although, I noticed, they did move quickly away from its mandibles. Could it go berserk and run over someone? Certainly, this impolite machine must have some kind of life avoidance system; people were too unconcerned.
Further on, I saw another strange sight; a person was crawling, against a low railing, down the walkway on its belly. All the people, a large crowd of them, avoided the belly crawler as if the person were contagious; an empty space crawled along with the person. The belly crawler’s skin (or clothing) looked like it was moving back and forth on his body as the person crawled. It gave me the shivers. Not only that but the person’s movements were very slow and deliberate, as if acting in slow motion; opposite and contrary to the fast paced hurrying movements I had seen so far. Later Jesus told me that the person’s slow crawl was an act of atonement t, that a necessary part of the atonement ritual included the avoidance of other people. The person crawling was assumed to be invisible to the other people walking by. I don’t know how far the person needed to crawl to atone for sins or for how long.
These people look like giant, tall, walking sloths. They wear clothing, but I didn’t notice if it was a special design except that only the mid-half of their bodies were covered. The dark hollow facial features, extraordinary long arms and legs, and gait made these people look strange to me and out of proportion; nevertheless, their humanity was instantly recognizable. Jesus told me this would be true of all the places we will visit; the people’s humanity, intelligence and technology will be self-evident. I imagine this is necessary for my benefit. Tree World is so similar to our own it could be a paternal twin; still, I find it hard to visually comprehend most of what is in front of me. For this reason, Jesus said that we would go back a number of times to Tree World. I think he means for me to get accustomed to looking at strange behaviors and peculiar landscapes.
Our next visit was Jesus’ idea. He said he wanted to show me something and that we would only be there a short while. We arrived surrounded by tall trees intermixed with large leafy bushes, a jungle. We pushed through an opening in the leaves and came upon one of the people, tall with white hair all over his body, sliding or rubbing himself on a pole or tree. The person was making humming sounds at the same time as vibrating the body at the tree. The pole and the person resembled each other both were skinny and tall. The person was sending a song by scent and vibration up towards the top of the tree or pole. As I followed the vibration to the top, I saw that above our heads, the trees joined together in ropes and walkways that snaked all over the sky between green leaves.
Jesus then caused us to become visible to the person at the tree. The person startled and bleeped away, I mean that the person turned, looked at us, and then disappeared. It looked like the person’s head stayed a moment longer than the rest of the body. Later I was to learn that the person didn’t really disappear but had slid sideways into the leaves; the movement had been so quick it looked like a disappearance.
Soon, heads popped in front of us seemingly out of nowhere. The heads looked at us and popped out again. Because of the abundant green foliage it was hard to see where they were coming from or going to. I think they came to see the show, to see us standing there amid all the green trees and leaves. And why were we there, what had we come to the jungle to see.
Sex? Was that what the person had been about on the tree. I don’t know why I got the impression that it was sexual. If it was, was the person embarrassed by our sudden appearance, I asked Jesus. He told me no, that the person wasn’t embarrassed at all; their sexual mores were more open than ours. They have much less shame and guilt. He added that it was not sex as we think of sex but a pre-play to mating. It was the person saying by actions, smell, and sound “I like you,” or “Please be my friend.”
“Like a cat rubbing against a leg?” I asked.
Laughing, he agreed my analogy was right and told me that I needed to get used to actions that might embarrass me. Also that I should be careful how I interpreted unknown actions by people on different worlds. If I formed my own interpretation of an action too quickly, I could come to the wrong conclusions. I should remain tolerant and open minded regarding other people’s actions, especially odd, strange behaviors when we travel. I supposed that this lesson was why we went to Tree world that night, to reaffirm my tolerance of different cultures.
But, also, it is important to note that I can never gather more than small, minute bits of information about any world we visit. The little I learn can’t possibly cover even a fraction of the social, psychological, or spiritual cultural of any world; all these worlds I visit will always remain clouded in unknown discoveries. After all, unknown discoveries and unique cultures still lay hidden and scattered on our own world, even after millions of years of search by mankind. This inability of mine to understand a complete, whole world is probably the reason our visits center on religious rituals and worship, the field is narrowed down so that I can absorb and understand what I am seeing.
In November, we went back to Tree World again. This time we visited two different kinds of buildings, public and private. The public building resembled an enclosed round amphitheater. It was huge and sunny with long sloping ramps rising and falling on the outer parameters next to the large, glass walls. I could see far across to the other side past numerous, giant, tall, white columns that were scattered throughout. The columns were concentrated in the center and reminded me of tall trees in a forest; they actually branched off near the top of the high building.
Large numbers of people were coming and going but the building wasn’t crowded. As we rode up the ramp, a person in front of us walked into the wall, the new door grew wide to receive the person, then closed itself behind. I could not see where an opening had ever been and assumed that we rode the ramp past many such doors. We stopped at a platform high above the pole-trees; a blue sky filled the ceiling above our heads, then we walked over to another ramp and rode it down. It was not unlike riding on a tall, fast escalator.
The total aura of the amphitheater was hard to grasp because there was so much glass and light intermixed with tall people riding up and down the ramps and walking to and fro in their jerky, fast, gait. All the walls and ramps were glaring white, but perhaps it was the bright daylight that gave me that impression. The only vivid color I noticed was the people’s clothing. Clothing was colorful but scanty, hardly what we would wear to work, if work place is the right term; yet, in here, I got the impression that people were attending to business, not play.
The first thing I noticed in the private residence was a narrow ramp inside the dwelling. The ramp rose gradually in a curved arc to an upper story. What I found most interesting, were the tall tree-like poles standing behind and under the ramp. I understood that this area was the nursery, that the tall tree-poles were for training and raising their youngest children.
The group of people, in this private residence, seemed to except our presence with aplomb. I had the opportunity to look closely at them. Each person had a very white, hairless face with black holes for facial features, a set of eyes, nose, and mouth, details of which I just couldn’t see against the deep dark areas. The extensive arms and legs were covered with long, sparse white hair that resembled finger length strands of white silk. The skin color was not a shade of pink, olive, or chestnut like our own would be but an actual whitish white. In all, the person looked like a giant sloth except for its quick jerky movements, which belies my use of sloth as a comparison. But after my first visit to this world that was what I called it, Sloth world. I’ve noticed as my travels progress that my ability to see specific details improves with each visit. This is why we have visited this world so many times, so that I can train my visual acuity; then, just as I got used Tree World, Jesus told me that our next visit would be our last.
Our last visit to Tree World was enlightening. We went into a hollow sphere or covered saucer-like depression in the earth, which was dark with mystery and silence. A hidden, low light source glowed softly around the parameter. The floor wasn’t dirt; I think it was made of a hard stone like substance. The underground cavern is thought of as “The Root,” a place of worship and prayer.
We followed as one person entered to perform a worship ritual. The person knew we were there but because it is a private ritual, we stayed out of sight. The person groped in the dim darkness with long white arms reaching out as if searching for a way through a complex maze. Eventually, after a long trial and error session, the person found the route to a tall, narrow, dark stack opening in the roof and began to climb. We followed.
The person mumbled and twittered during this long climb up through the dark, tree-stack. Progress was extremely slow until sunlight began to shine in a narrow opening at the top, then his movement quickened. Finally, after much ritual struggle and a long climb up, the person reached the sun lit top. Imagine the wonder of golden sunlight after a dark dungeon, the sound of birds chirping and leaves rustling after a long solemn silence, the warmth of sunlight on your face after the cool, dampness of the underground cavern; imagine the goal, the end, the delight. This I imagined as I watched the person reach the final pinnacle then watched an outburst of joy as the person jumped out. Born again from the womb. Wondrous delightful green trees surrounded us on every side, sunlight spattered and waving in the soft breeze, branches hanging and vines crawling in many directions. I was elated. I felt as if I had suffered the same anticipation as I climbed behind, the same joy as I reached the opening, the light at the top of the world. I watched as the person swung down a long rope and across to a green rope bridge. Worship was over.
I suspect the worship involved the person’s whole body, mind, and soul, that it centered the person within rather than outside the self. There seemed to be a deliberate slowdown climbing the stack as if to say time was measured different in this place of worship. Perhaps a ‘transformation of being’ took place during the worship; or, just as likely, I suppose, it could have been merely a repeated ritual played out repeatedly. My feeling was that it had been a solemn occasion for the person. It certainly was for me.
I have no idea what the people call their planet, I
called it Tree World for the obvious reason
that trees were all over the place - inside and outside; although, I
visited only a few small areas. I am sure that it is vast and varied like our
own planet. Jesus has told me that it ranges from tropical to arctic
conditions, but it is not as varied as earth. I wonder if it had fewer
continental divisions. I do know that the people of Tree World are past the
self-destruct stage of development, the same stage we are still moving through.
Jesus said they are past the danger point, that they made accommodations to
preserve themselves and their environment worldwide. He mentioned that they
still have serious problems to solve but they are working at solutions and
making good progress.
My Spiritual History
Hesitantly I pushed my mind outwards through one invisible barrier after another. Each barrier felt like a rubber sheet that accepted my form only so far, stretching, stretching to the breaking point, then out, back out into the black star driven sky. Further and further I traveled, through stars and nebula and dust, past worlds, suns, and galaxies; outward moved my imagination, my mind. This was the first time I tried to meditate; I had relaxed my body by starting at my toes moving up through my legs, torso, chest, then head, all this time ignoring the itch of impatience, my restlessness, my urge to quit. It was so stark and whisper silent out here. I loved the feeling of gliding faster than the speed of light, I laughed with the power of it as I watched stars fall past me. At one place I imagined a barrier of two angels with swords crossed in front of me to block the way. I tried to go around or over but could not. I tried pushing through but could not. I called to heaven for help, the angels stood their swords down and let me pass. Delightful. My imagination was running full tilt. I reached an area of black, lightless space. Ink black, the blackest black; no starlight in front of me. Then I watched as two red embers grew in size. Were they turning towards me? The red embers became larger and wider apart, coming closer? Curious I paused to watch. Suddenly, I know not from where, a hand of air pushed my face and turned it quickly away from the red lights. The force of contact felt like a slap when a parent punishes a child for crossing the street in front of a fast, moving automobile.
Gasping for air shaking all over. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I was home in my chair, in my living room, but where had I been? Fear at the sudden encounter with the unknown didn’t leave me for many days after that. Meditation stayed off my list of pleasurable things to do for a while after that, but like any siren call, the mystery pulled me back; although, I’ve never been tempted to go back to that same dark place. At the time, I thought my meditation technique was wrong because I had learned from a book. Besides, it was only my imagination, wasn’t it? But I was afraid. It had felt real, space felt real, and I felt contrite and censored.
Back in the 70s when TM (Transcendental Medication) first became popular in the states, I desperately wanted to learn it but couldn’t pay for it. So I fell back on my usual solution - I went to the library and found a book that would teach me how to meditate. I found books not only about TM but also on Hypnotism, Yoga, vivid dreaming, ESP, Out-of-body experiences, etc. In short, I read books on all the esoteric ideas that were floating around at the time. These ideas were a new avenue for me to explore and I absorbed them like a sponge. Not just esoteric ideas either, my reading list also included books about all the religions I could find, Buddhism, Taoism, Sufis, Christian history, Hebrew history, etc. Then because I craved information, curiosity moved me towards the study of physics, quantum mechanics and every new idea that came my way. It seemed that I couldn’t absorb enough knowledge. I think many people experienced and are still experiencing this same need, almost like a compulsion, to understand more about religion and how it fits in the world of today.
New Age books have sprung up to fill long shelves in the bookstores and some of them are very good. I read about channeling a few years ago but realized at once that I was not a channel even though Jesus and other people from heaven were communicating with me at that time. He agreed with me then, and even now that I am not a channel. Many people were on the same road as I was and many of us are still searching for that elusive ultimate, we know not what. Spirituality is probably one of those areas of knowledge that can never be fully satisfied even though we reach peaks now and then and think we have achieved it all. In fact, most of us go through a holier than thou stage at some point in our new-arrived at-spirituality where we try to shove our new found light on every one we meet. Thankfully this is usually of short duration. Some spiritual searchers have assimilated themselves further into their religion, others into the New Age philosophy, while others, like me, can’t stick to any specific idea but keep searching further and further looking for meanings beneath meanings.
In my new combination, I’ve discovered all the old Gods doing new tricks. In other words, the people of heaven have caught up with science. Actually our science has yet to catch up with theirs. I have found that God, who is removed from our science, permeates and is absorbed in theirs. God’s science is our magic. This is one of those old ideas that fit the facts. If you read your Bible over again with new eyes you’ll find chariots landing, people traveling or leaving Earth, God talking to people and teaching them how to raise crops, even in the New Testament Jesus saw Satan fall to earth like lightning, the list goes on and on--as Spock would say--fascinating. Yet, even with all the reading, learning and instruction from Jesus, I had to face an indisputable fact—I am still like a child when it comes to understanding heaven, earth and in between.
I used to ask a lot of questions but then I realized that I was behaving like a young child who is always asking trite questions like ‘why is snow white?’ or ‘what makes dirt dirty? How could any guide answer such juvenile questions? Now I seldom ask Jesus broad, unanswerable questions, I wait and let him tell me what he wants me to know. He deserves the respect of intelligent questions. Now I ask fewer questions because I’ve learned that, not only are facts unimportant but also that I don’t know the right questions to ask. None of us do. We are all asking the wrong questions.
With experience, I hope to learn how to ask the right questions. For instance, it is our nature to want to know a person's name but during mind travel names are not important. It would be wrong to ask who a person is because who the person is shines and advertises itself to you; it is their character and soul that gives them meaning. This threw me off kilter for many years and, at times, still does. If you know a persons soul, you know the person. Opening a soul opens a book. Even knowing all this, I still worry about being lied to, I worry that I am being led down a primrose path to distraction by the one who mimics Christ. Jesus assures me that this isn’t a valid worry because as he told me once, “You always know.”
Everything I’ve done in the last twenty years, with few exceptions, has been based on my need to know and understand God. My craving to learn about heaven and its population has filled my days. There have been times when the emotional turmoil of not understanding almost tore me apart. I felt like a starving person who could not be satisfied because they never had enough food. Every event, every experience, every turn of the screw was fodder for my understanding of God. Everything became food to digest, ideas to turn inside out, visions to play with to check if they fit.
I wanted to learn if God was made of matter and if so, where he resided in the universe. My visit with God settled that question. Also, I now realize that the universe is much too strange for any of us to decipher. God is too strange for us to decipher too. It isn’t just that some things are beyond our understanding; it is that we are still too immature to ask the right questions
Imagination, the tendency to believe, faith in the impossible, and an open mind-set are all important traits when looking for heaven, but not absolutely necessary because Jesus can do the seeming impossible. He will pull people to him by reinforcing their faith and love even when they resist. I base this statement of my own experience many years ago when Jesus called me but I didn’t know it yet. Still, the mind-set of the person is important. If you don’t believe, it probably won’t happen quickly. It’s like extrasensory perception, it helps to believe. You need to believe in heaven before you can see it or visit it, (This may or may not apply after death).
I remember
a few “miracles” Jesus sent me without my knowing. They were
tailor-made to fit my disposition, my type of thinking and my specific problems
at that time. Once after I had a wild fight with my husband, I became ashamed
and realized how low I had fallen when I watched two Jehovah Witnesses going
door to door with calm, sweet smiles on their face. I thought to myself “They
must have something I don’t.” How could they stay calm in this trashed out
Meditation began in me a yearning to understand God that was so overwhelming and powerful that it has not dissipated to this day. Jesus knows and encourages this yearning in me and all of us. His love has encouraged and shaped my education throughout these many years through study, life experiences, and direct teaching. I don’t know why Jesus is willing to guide me except that he is calling all people to him if they are willing to come. I believe strongly in open-mindedness, that an open mind can accept knew paradigms with less stress. My love of Science Fiction has sent me over the edge in that department, but Jesus smiles tolerantly at some of my more outlandish ideas. Some are not so outlandish at all. The universe is filled with abundant life forms, probably some we can't imagine.
Information about my spiritual learning would not be complete without a few words on evil. I regret that I need to bring the subject up; it repels me and makes me shudder; still, even Christ can’t make disappear all the evil in the world, as I can’t avoid the subject of it.
Odd that you can be in heaven and hell at the same time. It’s like the line of a poem I wrote once, "Hell is just an eye-blink away.” During those tremulous years of pain when my name was being smeared with lies and innuendoes, I lived each day as if in a minefield, my emotions subject to exploding vibes every time I walked into a room. It didn’t matter where I went, anyplace could serve as a battleground for heartache: college classes, church events, new jobs, singles groups, social events, even neighbors and sometimes family. This battle has not let up yet, though now I can shrug it off more easily.
Just the other night when I arrived at a new club and social event, I saw that my reputation had preceded me, the only difference was that I didn’t let it hurt me as much as it used to. But the lie has definitely made huge dents in my work and life in general. With Jesus helping me throughout this ordeal, I have accepted it as well as I can. Who among us hasn’t been severely tested? The amazing thing about the whole situation is that I not only survived the slings and arrows thrown at my back but I have grown stronger and tougher because of them. Take heart, you can too. Jesus has implied that my newfound strength will help me through the next phase--whatever it may be.
The last ten years have been very hard on me. There were times that I felt so traumatized I felt like I’d been thrown into hell. This in spite of heaven’s help. It was Jesus who pulled me out again. He tells me now that it was something I needed to go through, that I was tested and also that I needed to work the problem out on my own. I don’t understand why I needed to hurt so all-consumingly. Perhaps my problem was that I cared too much about what people thought of me. It might be that I needed to learn to shrug off slander, gossip and rumors as having little worth. All this is unimportant but leads to the description of some strange events that happened to me.
One night, a number of years ago, I was laying in bed sending my thoughts out trying to mind-touch and pray for a sick person. It was my habit to visit sick people or people imprisoned and ask the angels to help them. A dark, tall man who seemed to be made of half-shadow stood beside me and said, “I have found you. Let me look into your soul.” Then he suddenly grabbed hold of my soul. I know this because I blacked out for a short time. When I came to, I was badly frightened. I wondered if I had somehow called him to me. How did he find me? And, more importantly, what did my soul show him? Did his action show that he had no respect for my feelings? Did he use me? Was I violated as if I had been--mind raped? I don’t know. Why assume evil? I don’t know that he was. Maybe he was just strange.
I’ve seen some man again and again wearing different faces. This man could look like a handsome blond man or dark and angry. He can put on someone else’s face. I have seen him at different times while walking. I can’t tell you how I know it is him, but he has looked at me and smirked to my face. Thankfully, I haven’t seen him for a few years and hope to never see him again. But I remember one time he was exceedingly angry with me right after the three small, beings (they looked like children) who came to me early one night and said to me, “You saved us.”
A man shadow stood in the dark on the other side of my bedroom as the small beings spoke. He was livid with anger. So much so, that I became afraid even though I knew he was not solid matter and couldn’t hurt me physically. Fearful for these small beings who had came to me under great duress or wayward circumstances, I could do nothing for them but cringe beneath the bed covers. I could only imagine what kind of effort it took them to appear before me like that. To this day, I still have no idea of what they were talking about. If I knew what I could do to save them, I would do it again. I would do it countless times until every one of these small beings were saved. If only I knew what I had done to help them, or what I will do in the future. This scene is still so vivid in my memory I believe it must be real.
Once I had a dream with a dark angry man in it. In the dream, I had walked into a space platform of some kind and smashed a lot of long, glass incubators with frozen people lying inside them. Glass, water, and bodies spilled down and washed all over the floor as I yelled, “These are mine.” What did I mean? I think I meant they were earth people and should be left alone. This truly had been just a dream; nevertheless, it was vivid and seemed real. I awoke proud of what I had done.
I wish I had been dreaming when I saw a person change from one form into another one day. Perhaps it was because I was under a lot of stress from my ongoing unemployment. It happened during the day, outside in bright sunlight. I had just finished putting in an application for a job, which I didn’t get; I was having a hard time holding on to work. As I was walking past a group of nurses, feeling terrible and angry, one of the nurses looked directly at me, and changed her face into a different shape then changed her hair to look exactly like the actress in Stephen King’s “Misery.” She smirked at me, and then changed herself back into her former self. I know that this couldn’t actually have happened because the other nurses were still standing and talking to one another. It must have been a scene played out just for me, or only inside my own mind. Was I going nuts? I stood there for a moment unmoving. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Then as I walked to my car I remembered the smiling, daring smirk on the face. Could it have been the man who changed faces? I felt terrified and afraid, even in mortal danger from his hate. Even though I knew it was a false vision, I also knew it was a message sent to me, a warning. A warning about what? I still don’t know why I saw this person change but wish I hadn’t, especially because it happened again a few times. I don’t know if the purpose was to drive me insane or not, I came very close to going over the edge. I had no one to turn to, who could I tell something like this to. My only recourse was prayer, meditation and Jesus’ love. It was at times like this when I felt most deeply afraid that Jesus stood by me in comfort like in the poem “Footsteps in the sand.” His arms would envelop me in love.
Our psychic sensitivity is increased after trauma. Mine was tremendously heightened after my husband’s death. Once I saw the figures on face cards, the number and suite, shine through the back of the cards my partner was holding in their hand. I jumped up and quit the game, frightened. Another time, I was able to predict, to myself, the next call at Bingo because it lit up before it was called. This exceptional sight hasn’t happened to me since that time, perhaps because I rejected it so strongly, for some reason I was afraid of this ability. This was a period in my life when déjà vu seemed to be an every day occurrence. Many people have these same experiences and I wonder if theirs increased after a traumatic period like mine did. My senses stayed at a high peak of activity for a very long time after my husband died.
Some happenings were not evil but just strange. Like the time I popped to another place where a man and women were sitting and talking together. He was wearing black and she was wearing white against a background that was all white. He seemed greatly perturbed that I had suddenly showed up in their space. “You shouldn’t be here,” was what he said in a stern voice. I popped out again.
Once I visited a jeweled cave with someone who was not my mentor. He beckoned me to visit with him. He wanted to show me all the treasured splendor that was his. The jewels were so large and splendid I couldn’t take it all in. They were every color of the rainbow and shone with a pure luminosity that lit up that dark chamber. I didn’t stay because I was afraid that it was too rich for my taste. Was this visit something that we would call wrong or evil? I am not sure. There must be many odd and different places that would try our understanding, though not necessarily evil. We can always hope they are dreams. (As I edit this book, I can tell you that many of these strange occurrences had a real purpose and rational to them. I used them in my fiction books as if this was meant to be.)
Ribbon Lights
Jesus promised me a unique and amazing experience for my next visit. We popped in to a new world for just a moment one night. Suddenly I was surrounded by wide streamers of intense color floating in a cobalt blue haze that filled the air. As the streamers glided past me I realized they were of various thickness, and transparencies. Each ribbon of light twisted and waved as if swimming in the ocean depths.
The view changed color for an instant as the edge of a bright yellow-orange streamer floated near my face. Mouth open in wonder, I turned around and the deep blue sea filled with streamers went on as far as I could see. The floor at my feet was rippled in waves as if we were at the bottom of an ocean. But, it didn't feel like water, “This isn’t water, is it?” I asked Jesus.
“No, this is air,” he said and smiled.
It looked like we were standing in a deep ocean, although; there was no sensation of wave movement, Even the vegetation was sparse and fleshy as you might expect beneath an ocean. Most of the light came from the various ribbons floating all around us; at no time did I feel like I was in the dark, I felt rather, like I was standing in multiple shades of blue sunshine.
We only stayed for a few moments, yet I already new that it would be the most beautiful and awe-inspiring environment I would ever see. Later I told Jesus, “I want to go back, I want to linger and stay a while next time.” He promised we would.
Tonight, we did go back, after Jesus told me a few facts about Ribbon World. He told me that Ribbon World, as I called it, didn’t cover the whole of that world, that it was a small unique area of land surrounded by mountains. It is believed to be sacred, a gift from God. Those who visit must go through introductory rituals before being allowed to enter. The entire population of the world, and even a few people from other worlds, know about the sacred area but only a select few are allowed entrance at any one time. We will not go through an introductory course but no one will notice. “You will be OK” Jesus told me. He mentioned that, if I choose, he would stand back while I involved myself in the sacred ritual.
Where to begin? I saw many people, very human in physical appearance, softly shadowed in blue and different ribbon colors, walking single file in long curved lines that seemed to curl into tight spiral patterns then curl out again. Some of the people were nude but decorated with painted stripes on their bodies, some wore clothing with wide bands of vivid colors, while others wore simple, long white gowns, like what I wear when traveling. I stepped over and joined the nearest procession then watched, as figures in front of me would reach a certain point in the spiral, then turn outward. I felt a momentary pang of fear, "How would I know when to turn?" I asked myself. But when I reached the turn I knew. I hummed along with others as we slowly walked step by step into and out of a long spiral that curled on and on and on. We twisted and turned as if entering the center of a deep flower, step after step after step around and under rose petals, fragrant with dew, down, down into the pink depths then step by step out over the rim, on and on. We forever knew when and where to turn; I had become one with the procession, one flow, one group, one soul.
As each spiral path led higher and higher and then down again spiraling into the pattern, I became so entranced, so one with the flow, I was not aware of any intricate turn of the procession, or of any final design. The flow, the movement, the involvement was all. I felt a great love for the person in front of me, a gentle, all compassionate intense love. I loved the orange thick glowing ribbon, I loved the emerald ribbon, gold, ochre, crimson, violet ribbons joining in the flow. All, ribbons and humans, together in a soft melodic singsong stroll, hands clasped in prayer, raised in wonder, feet stepping, sliding, floating on little valleys and troughs of soft sapphire sands. We, the procession, the flow became the wave, the movement of brilliant flowing ribbons.
Entranced, I became one with the sacred substance, I breathed it into my lungs, swallowed the hazy, cobalt, bright air into my soul with every breath, I became the sacred; the sacred became me. A living glow of gold light floated onto my chest and around my right arm, penetrating my body with its gold being, it lingered for a tingling moment inside me, then flowed on, exiting my back. For an instant, we had exchanged souls. Some part of myself flowed out, bonded with the gold ribbon, some part of its golden aura stayed as a living part of myself, soul-to-soul, life to life, its substance, my substance, our substance.
I fell in love with this evocative, holy ground. I left a part of myself there on Ribbon World when I came away, yet; I left with more than I can ever express.
Even now, I believe that I hold inside myself a part that holiness. I feel that each glowing ribbon was a spiritual power close to God, a kind of angel.
I hope to go back to Ribbon World often, when I need a refuge, a solemn place to meditate. I even hope that someday in this vast universe of time and space, I will live and dwell as a native on this blue world were the Ribbon Gods flow.
Since the
visit I just described, I have gone back, but I still cannot relate to you in
words the complete oneness and all-ness I feel there. I can add little more
knowledge than I have already told you. I don’t want to know any more about
this land, just feel it. Besides, Jesus explained to me that it is
considered taboo to study any part of this sacred, holy ground. No instruments
or other technological gadgets are allowed inside the mountain range. He said
that even when people from other worlds are allowed an infrequent visit, they
come away awe-struck and always decide to leave well enough alone, to leave the
sacred, sacred.
It is early afternoon in the eighty’s, I am walking from the front door into the dinning room setting a grocery bag on the table, suddenly, I am no longer there. I am standing on the deck of a large wooden sailing ship as it rides the ocean waves. The sky is a clear vivid blue, the ship is old and worn, a wall is on my right, a chest-high side railing on the other, the smell of water permeates the air. Standing in front of me is an older, hefty, solid man with balding gray hair. Mouth open, he stares at me in wide-eyed shock, my face must have mirrored his own. Suddenly, I am back at my dinning room table, holding on to its edge, the day continues just as any other day.
This morning, January 22, 1998, while leisurely struggling with the need to wake-up, I suddenly discovered myself looking down at a strange dark haired man wearing a white fleece sheepskin jacket with dark cloth arms. He was lying on his left arm that was bent beneath his face at an odd angle. I sensed trauma or pain; then, as I watched, he began moving as if struggling to get up. Then, just as suddenly as it had changed before, my view now reversed; I was laying in my own bed looking at the wall, dazed in the half-stupor of near-sleep, feeling the warm covers pulled up against my chin. Now fully awake, I lay there thinking about the event I had just dreamed or witnessed. What had happened? Must I assume that it was only a dream? It didn’t feel like a dream, but unlike my visit to the ship, I was laying in bed when it happened. Also, I couldn’t find any reference in my life to what I had seen. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a jacket made out of plump, white, sheep hair. As far as I could tell, no movie, book, or television show had such a scene; besides, I seldom watch TV or go to the movies. If there was a reference in my life somewhere, it must be from book, but, if so, I have not found it.
What part of my mind processed those oddly vivid details and for what purpose? I am left to wonder if it could have been a real event that I’d watched. I believe the visit to the ship was real but what about dreams? Had I floated off into time or space to visit this specific trauma after it happened, his near death, perhaps. Did I watch him until he got up for some special reason? I wondered if it had been an actual memory in a past life or myself in a different life occurring now--what is time, anyway? Or, was I sharing an oneness with someone else who was watching the man during his trauma. This is really stretching reality, I know, but understanding and believing in what we may at first dismiss as imaginary is the theme for this book. I notice these snippets of events all the time. They may be considered dream fragments but why dream of someone wearing a sheepskin jacket? The list of speculations could be endless. I don’t doubt that a large number of people experience similar dream fragments but most of us choose not to talk or write about them.
As unusual as I believe this dream visit or scene was; I deliberately avoid including items like this in my definition of travel. It wouldn’t be accurate to include these episodes because I am not sure if they are real. In contrast, my sudden, involuntary trip to the ship seemed very real but I don't know why. Dreams are events we can’t readily explain. I may believe them to be a form of travel or memory but I don’t ask so much of you. Also, meditation shouldn't be confused with dreaming because it has a different quality than a half-awake dream. It is a self-induced change of the mental frame of mind into stillness or a deliberate chain of steady thought-ideas.
Is the possibility worth consideration that even in our wildest dreams we can remember or visit other places and times? Could we dare think our dreams as having some bases of truth in them? Are some dreams a replay of real time lived in space/time? I had a dream ten years ago I’ll never forget - I was shooting at something while tethered on the side of a black, metallic ship in deep space. I can still see the dark ship glinting in starlight as I changed position with my gun. My whole family had just been killed. I felt so sorrowful about their deaths that when I woke up from the dream, I still felt as though I’d just suffered a great loss. According to some scientific theories, past and future may be intermingled onto one space/time. I wonder if our dreams bare this out. And I wonder if my visitors appear to me from out of space/time.
I am never
dreaming when the two men appear to me; I am always wide-awake. Lately, I am
usually writing at the computer or thinking about something I want to include
in the book when I see them. They appear slightly above and to the right of
where I am sitting. I perceive the man on my right as giving off an aura of
great authority. The slightly shorter man, on my left, once pointed me out to
the first man implying pride because I had been praying so fervently for the
hungry children during a famine in
I can’t tell you what mechanism is at work when I see the two men. I only see them for a short moment and then they are gone. I can’t tell you what they look like either except to say they both wear long garments, seem manly and strong, and they “sort of glow.” I feel their presence as much as I visually see them. When they are nearby, I always get the feeling that I am in the presence of great love and wisdom.
What is seeing anyway? Layers of illusion envelop our total existence. If we strip away one illusion after another, what will be left? In a sense, we see what we choose see. We select out of our total environment what we decide to see and remember. We must accept some illusion or layers of ‘Maya’ in our existence. When I go into a new room, I imbue it with what I expect to see. I give it my own ideas of what it should look like, and if I stay longer, I will keep refocusing and readmitting new images into my conscious awareness. I think that a totally strange place would be almost un-seeable to us. But also, it is well to remember that matter is matter, a rock is a rock wherever in the universe we observe it. So, as I have done many times, we tend to use our own referents to understand what we see if we go into a strange place, a place like an unknown world. Sometimes Jesus will take my hand and lead me to a new world but when I first get there, I can’t see. The odd fauna or strange people are out of focus and hard for me to define. After a short time, my vision improves, but it may be that I give color the new fauna with my own ideas of what grass or trees should look like.
It is the mind that sees, just as it is the mind that travels. If we could go to a strange new place and out again quickly, it would be hard to give an accurate, detailed description. What can we remember in only a few seconds? When I went to Nexus again, also a short visit, but this time with Jesus leading the way. I noticed a few more details. The figures all wore long robes of varying hues but not every one wore a hood. The ground where I stood was not cluttered with stalls or other buildings; nevertheless, it had a bazaar atmosphere or the flavor of a vast gathering place. I had more time to look around so I naturally looked up to where people were rising and disappearing at the top of the roadway or escalator. I wanted to ride up along with them but Jesus said, “No” that we would “Go too far.” The last time we went there, he told me that I wasn't ready yet. He didn’t elaborate on either statement so I have no further explanation as to where they were going or why. Was it a huge pivot point in space? A transportation device on a specific world? A joining of wormholes? Or just one more puzzle to ponder.
I am not the only person who can mind travel, I think anyone can and I am sure many people have because the universe is made up of thought--thoughts run it and keep it going, God’s thought, our thoughts. “The universe needs an observer to exist,” said Stephen Hawking, the well-known physicist.[4] Physicists are the first to admit that they have only scratched the surface of the true universe. I asked Jesus once if our modern scientists would be able to understand the universe if they knew what underlay its mechanism. He laughed answering me and said, “It is stranger than they could ever imagine.”
If the universe is made up of thoughts, why can’t we change it? “We live on a ball of frozen energy,” Einstein said once. I have always remembered this quote because I imagine us as little humans standing around shivering and freezing on a small ball of ice. If somehow our thoughts don’t manipulate matter like they should, maybe its because we’re cold. Perhaps our thoughts are bent out of shape or reduced in some way that renders them less effective. I’ve found the fault is not speed, our thoughts can travel faster than the speed of light. The problem may be our prior conditioning. Perhaps with the proper training we could move a mountain or tell a tree to wither and die. Jesus said we could do it, that all we need is faith.
When I say
that I see and talk to Jesus Christ I mean that he is
‘there’ for me. I know he is there, I feel his presence almost as much as if
one of my children were standing next to me only
not as long in duration. What is odd is that I am sure if I were a Hindu and
called him
Whether Jesus is out there or in here sometimes I see him with my eyes as well as my mind. I do not go into a trance in order to see him. I tactually feel his light pour into and through me at times. His smile has warmed me, his arms have caressed me, and his voice has nudged me into action. Other heavenly beings have hugged me also. I will forever remember when the angels floated above me and poured liquid light out of heaven down into my body as I sat there meditating. This memory is still so vivid I doubt that I will ever forget it. This happened during meditation so it is more easily understood than visits when I am awake and writing or doing housework, these I don't understand at all. I get so frustrated from my lack of knowledge, my only resource is to repeat Jesus’ words to myself over and over again, “Someday you will understand.”
When Jesus gives me information and says we need a new paradigm he doesn’t mean that he is telling us the ultimate knowledge of the universe. He is, instead, giving us what we can absorb and understand according to our present culture and time. And just like an itch that needs to be scratched, he gives just enough to tantalize and tempt us because that gives us the incentive to continue learning. We keep reading the Bible, not because it is smooth and easily understood, but because it is ambivalent and hard to understand in its fullness. Every time we read the Bible we can come away with a new awareness of what it says and means. This causes us to keep reading, to keep trying to understand. Our curiosity is aroused by discord and the conflict of new ideas, not by light reading or sweet goodness. Plus, sometimes, we need to be jarred out of our compliance with a shockingly new idea, a new idea that gets our thoughts rolling.
This morning I reinvented the need for God. After deep thought, I realized that God’s value lays in the fact that he knows. I was re-learning that I needed God not because he is mighty or has such great authority, which he does, but because he knows the Future/Past. What a relief to believe, to have faith that there is a Being in the Universe who knows what is going on, what will go on, and why it will continue.
Like when a small child comes running in with a cut on their finger or a complaint that “Jimmy hit me, he took my truck” We can understand. We can see the child’s future. We know that the child will be okay, that his finger will heal and the pain go away, that Jimmy will give back the truck soon when he gets tired of it. We know everything will be okay and say so as we comfort the child. I derive this same kind of comfort from God's knowledge.
Jesus does the same when he looks at me and smiles; he knows. He sees further than I, further than the traumas of rejection or fear I suffer. He tells me that I’ll be all right. He often tells me that he will, “Be here soon.” But, I have finally learned to laugh at this because we have such different ideas about the word, ‘soon’. He has been saying that for the last ten years. He smiles at this. I want instant gratification while he is the embodiment of patience. Well, some things take more than a willing mind and vivid imagination.
But imagination is a necessary base. To conceive the possibility of mind travel makes it so. It complements the new theories that even science, our religion of the Twentieth Century, must now argue, that things aren’t what they seem. Read any book on quantum physics and your solid world will disappear into a nether-nether land of mist called indeterminacy. Time can run backwards, you can blink Schrodinger’s cat dead or alive, or quiff new stars into space. Since the advent of quantum theory, reality hasn’t behaved as our common sense says it should--past, present, and the future are gone--they depend on the subjective viewpoint of the observer--space, objects, worlds, people no longer exist unless an observer--God or, if you prefer, a human--tells them to. I exaggerate but not by much, science seems to have entered the realm of magic.
Yet, few
scientists can allow room in their
theory for God or angels. Science shies away from most
exotic possibilities such as U F Os, out-of-body experiences, and
What am I doing when I travel? It is easier to say what I am not doing. I am not Astral-traveling. While writing this book, I decided to cover all bases by searching out anything that resembled my travels. I couldn’t find much. A book I read described what they call astral travels as going to different planes or levels of subtle matter where spirits and angels live. Jesus tells me emphatically, “No, You are not astral traveling.” that is enough for me. But what is the difference? The difference seems to be what is called Theta waves that involve the super conscious mind which induces a trance state. This is opposite to my own experience, I don’t go into a trance state.
Another thing I am not doing is channeling. Years ago when I read a book about Channeler’s and reviewed their statements, I was amazed at their knowledge. Why didn’t I get answers like they did? I laughed at my concern; I didn’t want to be a channel anyway. Jesus agreed with me that I wasn’t a channel. This book does not serve the same purpose as channeling; it is not funneling information from one person to another. I worried that, though some channels seemed sincere, some shouldn’t be trusted because they say too much. I hardly ever get clear and specific answers to my questions. I question why they do. Jesus, when he answers me, which is not often, gives me a cryptic phrase and a smile then leaves me to decipher it for myself. It may be that our purposes differ, mine being to grow spiritually theirs to relay information.
What exactly am I doing if it is not astral traveling or channeling? Is it out of body experiences or OBEs? I am not sure. I read one book lately that describes the person as going into a trance just before an OBE. Some of his experiences are like mine in the since that he can go anywhere in time and do anything on earth or off but I don't go into a trance. He does not refer to the people he meets as angels or Gods. I did not read the whole book so I am not certain who or what this being he meets is. Another type of OBE is the kind experienced after a trauma to the body, where the person floats over their own operation in the hospital. Then there is the near death experience or NDE where the person almost dies and experiences events comparable to some that I describe in this book. I believe my experiences are similar and therefore point out the repeatability of this kind of experience without trauma or a near death. Thus, we finally get to the nugget or purpose for this book; sharing these experiences may nudge more people to begin mind traveling with Jesus. Maybe it will get crowded up there.
You might ask why anyone should travel? I can only repeat what Jesus told me, that we need a “New paradigm.” We need to look outward more. I thought of the frightening idea that souls never die but our sun will. Humanity will need to be off planet, by whatever means, when the sun goes nova. Would you want your soul swimming in a Ghenna sea?
Traveling does involve effort and a lot of trial and error learning. It also may serve up some deep frightening fears before you get the hang of it. We can go ‘there’ with our earth smarts but still be woefully ignorant, like a street-smart kid visiting a farm and being chased by the horse. If you go expecting names and explanations of who someone is or what their purpose is, forget it--leave names at home. I am still learning how to travel and will never stop learning. Jesus lately tells me that I need to learn how to distinguish a lie from the truth (I’ll leave the specific details of what I fell for to your imagination). Believe me, it is not easy to know who is telling the truth when they don’t even have a name. How would you detect a truth or lie if someone appears to you in flowing white and tells you that you will win the lotto, or you will pass go and win two hundred dollars, or--but you get the picture. Believe me, you never win money in this game, no lotto, no pots of gold. If someone says that something great is coming your way, disbelieve it. It won’t happen. I know because I am learning it the hard way.
Of course, you don’t want to mind-travel for money but only to talk to God. God is the reason I began to meditate and then mind-travel. I needed to get my life in order, God, angels, and Christ helped me do that. Your reason to travel may be to delve into the secrets of the universe. Hopefully you will get more decisive answers than I do. I’ve learned not to ask too much. Now, when I search for information, it isn’t factual information that I am looking for, it's the plus side of the universe, it is life's self affirming nature. I want to see all of life's beauty as Jesus sees it, to see life as others live it. You will establish your own relationship with Jesus and the Universe for whatever the reason that fits you best.
Is mind-travel real? There is no way that you can check my experiences out to see if they are real. I can’t prove a thing. I only know about my own travels, my own relationship with Jesus and heaven. You must make your own. I advise you to be careful and vigilant because there is a jokester out there who mimics Jesus and mocks any effort to learn about heaven. This jokester’s antics could fill a book but doesn’t deserve the credit, so I won’t write it.
You may disagree with my terms - my use of the word ‘travel’ for movement of the mind or thoughts through space and time but I insist that it is a form of traveling because I always have the sensation of leaving and going to another place. I always feel that my whole self ‘went’ into a different place or time. I don’t feel any separation between my body and mind when I travel. If, by some chance, my body traveled too, how would I know? I hope to control the duration of these travels eventually so I can stay longer and gather more information, but at present I need to be content with short visits.
This book may imply an unusual method of travel or an alternative reality mixed into our own but it doesn’t stand-alone. I realized this the other day while I was reading about an anthropologist who was in the field studying about the theory of birds evolving into dinosaurs. Reading about that on-going dispute and the long study of ideas that lead to the concept, I recognized all the background knowledge that had been required, a mountain of ideas built layer upon layer, year after year, to support or dispel that one theory. How could I write a book with few supporting facts and no long standing body of knowledge?
Then, I remembered the many books I had read over the years on the edge of science, books about out of body experiences, near death experiences, religions and prophets, eastern philosophies, unidentified flying objects, the list goes on and on. I realize now that this book also stands on a body of knowledge and information, not concrete facts like in a scientific study, but knowledge of a different kind. It is exploring mental states that have been circulating in humankind for as long as we can find written records. Religious belief is as old as man. So if a psychologist were to state that we couldn’t see visions or mind-travel, I would point out the infancy of psychology as compared to any religion. Religious faith has always meant a faith in beings from out there or spiritual presences of some kind. Like Jacques Vallee would say, “Not only are we not alone, we have never been alone.”[5]
God’s World
I am becoming a pro at traveling. Earlier in the day when Jesus said that we would go to a new world and stay longer than usual, I took it in stride, continuing with what I was doing at the time; until he told me where we would go. God’s World! He said we would be going to God’s Kingdom? But, but, but... I can’t, I stammered. How will we get there? What if I can’t understand? What if I can't see, what if I...? All the rest of the day I worried and made myself anxious about going to God’s World.
“You are invited,” the angels said to me with many hugs, “It is a gift.”
Later that evening, I downplayed my anxiety as Jesus led me to God’s World.
We entered a golden forest amid a riot of gold foliage: gold tarnish, gold orange, soft gold, brown gold silver gold, blue gold, red gold, yellow gold; the variety and selection of so many golden hues astounded me. Everywhere I looked were tall golden trees, golden bushes, golden leaves, golden flowers with golden stamens; textures of bright glittering gold and soft, diffuse gold, gold in shadow and gold in bright sunlight beneath a golden/yellow sky.
I stood gaping in awe and wonder at the scene before my eyes--a golden banquet fit for a King - or God.
“Can I touch it?” I asked breathlessly, afraid to breathe it away? He nodded.
The single gold flower petal I touched was pliable and soft. The flower had four petals with an orange stamen covered with gold pollen. It resembled a tiger lily. Its leaves were covered in soft silver fuzz. Curious, I bent down and brushed with my fingers at the undergrowth of fallen burnished bronze leaves. My fingers touched and sank into rich damp, black soil - it was real dirt. The complete golden tropical forest was a real, living, breathing, diversity of biomes. This was no Midas world; it was too alive, too vivid, too actual.
Laughing, Jesus reminded me that I was only seeing a small section of a whole world, but it was all just as spectacular.
“What if it rained?” I laughed as it began to rain.
Rain fell in tiny diamond drops. Gold rain plunked down on flower petals, rivulets ran down our faces; then the rain stopped as quickly as it began. I laughed in wonder as we walked through the golden forest, sometimes brushing against dripping gold leaves. Drops fell from overhead trees creating a low golden mist that swirled around our feet, filling the air with sweet aromas and soft chirping bird sounds.
Soon we walked out of the dense foliage and arrived at a high outcropping of light blue/gray rock. The rock was not gold but the waters falling over it in tiny, braid rivulets was. Gold water dripped into a small pool of golden water rings, before it poured down little inclines turning it into a miniature rapids. Just beyond, many rivulets of gold water met gathering into a small stream that ran out into countryside of tall gold grass, waving high in the soft breeze.
“Is it real water?” I asked as I bent down and filled my cupped hand from the shimmering gold pool. I sipped the water out of my hand. It looked and tasted like real water, fresh and pure.
“It is real water," Jesus said, "It looks like gold because the sky is yellow.”
I looked up into the yellow sky; white clouds flocked overhead like tuffs of dandelion seed floating in the breeze. A deep yellow orange lined the horizon over the top of the trees. There was no visible sun, just a steady golden glow that felt warm and pleasing.
We walked near the small curling stream; on one side was the gold forest that we had just came out of and on the other side a vast landscape of tall fluffy trees and waving grass--all dusted in golden hues. Rocks were scattered here and there and I think I saw faint orange hills or mountains far off in the distance. I didn’t notice many birds or animals; although, I am sure they were numerous because this lush world of golden flowers and trees was a perfect milieu for life. Curious, I asked Jesus if people lived here.
He answered in the negative, he said that people didn’t live on this world, but there was always people coming and going, even staying for long periods of time. I think he meant God's world was considered a parkland or nature preserve.
Later, I realized that my visit to God’s World had been a great and wonderful experience, but I worried that something more was expected of me, that it had been too great a gift. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to describe it adequately in the book I was writing.
“Don't worry," angels said later, "The purpose of the visit wasn't to give you material for your book. This visit is a gift to you, given freely by God.”
“But what right do I have to visit God’s World. I am not good enough. I am nothing special; I don’t understand." I still felt concerned about being given a privilege such as this. I was unable to accept such a great gift graciously.
To quiet worry, Jesus said, “Other people will visit God’s World too.”
Then he made me a promise, a personal promise I will never forget, and this is the reason I have included a visit to God's world in this book. I wanted to tell you of Jesus’ lovely promise to me. Like a lover offering the moon to a lover, Jesus said, “One day I will pick a golden flower from God’s Kingdom for you. You will wear it always.”
Countless people stood gathered on the shore across from the swiftly flowing river. I called and motioned for the people to join me, but many refused to step into the water. I waded through the deep river pointing and pulling people off the land into the water. People began to wade across holding hands. Children were too short to walk in the river so we carried them on our backs to Jesus who waited on the other shore. More people, when they saw Jesus, jumped into the water to go to him. Soon the river was full of people crossing except for one man who stood alone on the far shore. He refused to cross even when I held his hand. It was a man I knew intimately. I felt it was important to get him into the water. I coaxed and pulled on him until he consented to timidly step into the water and to Jesus. The river had risen until mid-way he began to drown. My feet had left the ground too at the same time I was trying to lift his head above the water. He would sink under the high waves then rise his head and sputter water while we struggled across the mighty river. Jesus stood up opening his arms to us as we climbed the rocky shore, dripping river water and steaming in the sunlight. Jesus in a white glowing, sunlit robe leaning over to help pull me to him. To join all the people gathered on this new shore
Nothing but a pleasant reverie, a quiet relaxing daydream, played out in full color one late night when I couldn't sleep. Filled with my own symbolism, nevertheless, the scene was one I played out often in my mind as a message to Jesus Christ that I was willing to help lead people to him so they could share in love. A beautiful daydream.
During the next few days, I run into the man who I had helped cross the river. During our conversation he looked at me strangely and told me about an odd dream he had. A dream in which he kept drowning. “Water kept pulling me down,” he said as he looked strangely at me, “It woke me up.” But he said nothing about Jesus on the other shore. I was surprised because this man was the first person I’d ever known who admitted that he never had an ESP or a déjà vu experience, nether was he religious or spiritual in any way. He was an accountant by profession as well as by nature. Somehow, my nonchalant imagery had gotten through to him on a basic level, I felt proud that he had felt my struggle to pull him to Jesus. Nice thought but soon forgotten. It wasn't a big deal, people made comments like that to me all the time. It wasn’t anything to take it seriously.
I practiced similar mental exercises often, sending my mind out to people during late evening, not trying to contact anyone but only to give comfort. That the visits might actually be real didn’t concern me much; this thought was only a hazy background noise; besides, intention was what mattered. Jesus accepted my visits as prayer; it was up to him to do the actual healing. Jesus or his angels went with me into prisons and we hugged inmates. Here was a man sitting on a low cot depressed and crying, I hugged and held him for a short while, another man pounded the walls with his fists in anger and we tried to comfort him as well. We never stayed long, only a moment in each place perhaps because I didn’t have the strength to stay long. I always assumed that the person couldn't see me but hoped that the inmate or sick person would feel the presence of love and concern. Regardless, I never went alone; angels always accompanied me on these visits. I wonder if the angels need us to care because it helps them do their own work?
Sick and handicapped people were on my visiting list more than inmates. Since I worked with senior citizens and later with people in nursing homes, I had come to know a large number of people with various needs. I considered myself lucky to have access to this knowledge so that I could reach out to them during the day and at night. It went like this: Quietly I would send my mind out into a person's home. I would imagine them in their favorite chair, bed, or busy with a common activity. The time of day didn't matter, because my image was independent of real time, it was mine to choose. The angels and I would hug that person for a moment then leave. I would do this five or ten times each night to different people I had known.
One limit I
put on myself was that I wouldn't go to people that I was close to in the
present, people that I was taking care of now or people I knew as friends.
There wasn't any specific reason for this. I just felt that I shouldn't impose
myself on them. Across the world to Africa or
I went
across the street only in the company of a multitude of angels. We would join hands above
the treetops and shower symbolic rose petals down onto
All wasn't roses, I am ashamed to say. I had a few love affairs over the mental airwaves, too. But then, I never said I was a saint. It may have been wrong to use my gift sexually, to visit with someone I loved. We all know that love is blind; I was lustfully blind for many years until one man straightened me out by making me face the idea that it wasn't all a dream.
I knew, deep down that it wasn't all a dream. But it is like knowing the definition of a word but not the real meaning, the gut feeling. One bright day, after a night of great love with this certain person, he hinted strongly that we were through, “Not ever again.” He had his reasons. I went home feeling devastated. Why not? It wasn't real was it? How could a little love hurt anyone? Then I felt ashamed. He had opened up my awareness, blew apart all my denials, my refusal to see. I had to face the truth that that he had been really with me, that we had really kissed? But I had been home in my own bed alone. My God, was I raping people over the air. Did people think I was using them? Was I forcing love on different people? Even just hugging a lonely stranger could be construed as hurting him through love?
My visits to everyone stopped for quite a while. I asked Jesus, "Why didn't you tell me?" I cried while angels hugged me. I flew into a rage up in the sky and Jesus called my name and told me to stop. I did. I began to calm down. It wasn't as horrible as I was making out. I was just ashamed of myself. Had I sinned? I didn't know for sure, but who doesn't sin? Is it a sin if you are ignorant of the rules? The worst part was using God's gift of love and mental visits for my own pleasure. How could Jesus have loved and tolerated me through it all.
Love was the culprit. I had been trying to broaden Jesus' love, love everyone, love more, use the Yoga of love. I had been whoring in space. I still hurts me to think about it. Jesus and I loved but his love is different, not physical. It is more of a joining of selves, a union, an ecstatic oneness. Although my love for Jesus was deep I had been sending my love out to someone else. Feeling hopeless and dejected, I realized that it was time to change. I did change. Since then, I discovered a number of things about my gift, my ability to send out thoughts; I learned that a gift, like a coin, could have two sides.
When is a gift not a gift? When it hurts someone. Ignorant use of my gift came close to costing a few people their lives and a few others some sleepless nights. My only defense is that I was truly ignorant, selfishly young, and lacking in wisdom. These are only a few examples of my near-sightedness.
The car was filled with groceries; I had just turned onto the street behind my house when the other car coming at me from the opposite direction suddenly swerved and hit the side of a car traveling behind us. I immediately saw why. It was because the man driving had looked over at me with a startled look on his face and neglected to watch for cross traffic. I felt guilty but because I was alone in the car, I kept driving. What could I say, I hadn't done anything. Besides, even though I didn't know the car or person, maybe he thought he recognized me. Why else would he have looked so startled at me? Actually, I believe that I had inadvertently sent him a thought and it startled him out of his composure. Shopping does that to me, makes me tired and stressed out. Cans used to bend when I would go shopping for the group home. I would be so tired and thirsty driving back that I think my wish for a cup of coffee bent the big three-pound coffee can.
A mild infraction but imagine being in a car all by yourself, radio off, then hearing a voice speak inside your mind. It could be frightening. More so if you are up in the sky flying. Once or twice I have sent a thought up into the air towards small airplanes flying overhead when I was at the beach, just for the fun of it. Naughty I know. I had fun imagining how startled the pilot was. Did the pilot hear me? I'll never know, but the plane swooped down a few times.
One time I almost caused a severe accident. A trapeze artist was swinging high on the rope ladder at the circus. Focusing intently, which I didn't mean to do, I watched him as he slipped and caught himself. I think I had inadvertently called out “great” or some other word to him from where I sat with my children and foster children. Soon a number of businessmen came walking over to our section surrounding it and watching people as if searching for someone. I shrunk in my seat and almost left early but after thinking about it, I doubted if there was anything to be afraid of. Who would know it was me? In fact, who would believe it? I tried avoiding the trapeze artist for a while but gave up and finally did leave early because the baby was crying. I have never been to a circus since.
As a rule, there is little danger sending someone a stray thought because, usually, if they hear a voice in their mind, they will believe that they just had a bad moment or it was a mistake on their part. This has saved me from discovery many times. A strong feeling or deep worry can sometimes jab a thought through to someone close by. I have learned that religion and spirituality seems to bind people together into a single oneness whether they are aware of it or not.
Could thinking or sending thoughts to someone be the same as traveling with your mind? Is mind travel a type of extra sensory perception? When I travel, am I essentially just talking to someone out there? I think I can answer these questions with a negative because I don't see the environment as if I were looking out from another person's eyes, I always see it as if I am there experiencing the event in person. Besides, I just don't see out, someone sees me too, our reaction is mutual. When I popped into Nexus the lady saw me, likewise the sailor when I popped onto the old sailing ship. At least, in the case of Nexus, she didn't recognize me as a ghost image but a real person. I don't know what I am when I travel or visit. I have learned that when I visit people with angels, I can choose to be invisible or visible, noticed or not.
I remember when the angels gave me this gift of sight. In fact, a group of angels said, “We will help you.” I felt the middle spot in my mind open up. It felt like bones crunching and snapping open. Even now, I can feel that same spot if I think about it. This spot is the same area in the brain that is used in the East to induce mind communication. On reflection I remember that I could think at other people before the angels opened up my mind. Their purpose must to have been to enhance what I already had, to finally realize that now I could do it. This begs the question of why. Why does it matter if I can send thoughts or travel, what purpose would it serve. I can't answer that question. Jesus’ only answer is that “One-day you will understand.” I've already explained that I am not a saint. I am not great at anything; I have done nothing that I know of for the betterment of humanity, except as we all do by acting nice to neighbors and relatives. Although, I fervently hope my actions bare out the three small peoples prediction that I save them. Only time will tell.
Jesus’ time is different than our own, as I've hinted before. His soon is as far from my idea of soon as anyone's can get. Sometimes he speaks as though he is from the future or, he knows that an event in the immediate future is certain to happen. I said to him the other day, “I am going to go to that church tonight, aren’t I?” even though I never go to church on a weeknight. He laughed and said, “Yes.” This was unusual behavior for me but he knew while I just guessed that I might go to church.
Speaking of time, why couldn't Jesus speak from the past, future or outside of any known time frame? We think of him as being from the past, and at the same time, we give him the status of God. Well don’t we accept that God must be in all imaginable times? Therefore, Jesus must be able to see into time also, past or future, from where ever his present is (if such a thing as time exists at all). We think of time as duration, and surly duration exists? Not necessarily, physicists can postulate the possibility of time running backwards, a ball lifting and returning to the bat or a bullet flying back into the gun. The subject is too much to go into in this small chapter but perhaps duration only exists on our frozen ball of matter world, a place where energy is changed into slow motion.
Still, the question remains, where or when is it that I go when I travel, into what time or place or universe. Like Jim Carrey in the movie, The Truman Show, I keep trying to punch a hole through the screen, to punch through into reality, into the real world. Great thinkers throughout history have observed earth as being a stage prop: Shakespeare in his poem, "The Seven Ages of Man," said, “All the world’s a stage...”[6] Edward Fitzgerald’s translation of The Rubaiydt of Omar Khayydm depicted us as, “Magic Shadow-shapes....”[7] Many philosophers, writers, thinkers, comedians, etc. have questioned the seeming absurdity of our stage and the roles we play on it. I can’t rest content knowing that so many beings are out there without us, watching us, leaving us behind?
I remember many instances of meeting or talking to a group of people from out ‘there.’ It was a group of angels who opened the thought-transfer area in my mind. Often, a group of angels will meet and hold me if I request it or travel up to them; and sometimes it seems like I am talking and receiving answers from their leader. Once, years ago, before I had any understanding of the intricacies involved, I woke up in the middle of the night to see a group of beings, all wearing white garments, hovering over my bed, talking over me. Trying to wake me up from my life long sleep, most likely. The next day, I wondered if it was some kind of hidden memory of a group of doctors. Now I know they were not doctors.
Who are they? The same people who have always been there, angels, saints, lords, enlightened ones, people able to send themselves out there, as if that is any kind of answer. Where are they from in space? Where are they from in time? The answer seems to be anywhere and everywhere. Someplace, two people were talking against a white background when I popped in on their conversation, someplace I call Nexus people were riding up and down moving highways, someplace God sits in audience to answer questions from upstarts like me. Yet, aren’t we also someplace? Aren’t we also a part of this grand scheme of visitors and travelers? Or are we only a curiosity, a hidden by-way in the vast universe? Shouldn’t we investigate the possibility? We may learn someday that it’s the only way to travel.
When you look at a whale lifting itself up toward the sky, what do you think about? I think about the whale's communion with God and its futile effort to overcome gravity, its gallant attempt to rise above its surroundings and look up. We are certainly at least as varied and curious as a whale. Can’t we also lift ourselves up out of our environment, out of our common surroundings toward our God? Mankind has always looked up, now we can learn to travel there as well. If my words are true, then not only do we have the ability to reach beyond our world, beyond our wildest dream, but God, himself, waits for our arrival with open arms.[8]
We stood in a white on white environment except for a
few large gray forms that broke up the whiteness far in front of us. Huge white
flakes of the stuff was swirling and blowing all around us. “Is it snow?” I
asked. In answer he reached out and gathered a handful to show me. All I could
see was a bunch of strings and fluff stuck together perhaps like cotton; although, I don’t think I’ve ever seen real cotton.
This cotton like substance filled the air so thickly it looked like a snow
blizzard in deep winter.
Jesus took my hand and led me through the whiteness to one of the huge gray forms; it was a tree, wide and squat with deeply grooved bark. The few
leaves I could see were clustered in upside-down bowl shapes hanging low from
the tree. It looked unearthly, but its girth and bark design was so exaggerated
it looked perfect for a Disney movie.
To my surprise, Jesus knocked on the tree and a door opened to a medium size room. Standing in
the open door to welcome us was a plump man with as big a grin as could be possible
on a human face. The room had a low ceiling and a few walls were tree textured
in deep grooves, wood knots, and growth lines. We were led to a small, thick
pedestal table by the grinning man who invited each of us to sit on a stool he
pulled out for us.
Sitting, I watched as four or five adults, who were all
short, square, and plump, came to greet us and nod their acceptance at our
presence. Children with knobby knees and elbows scampered into the room
with the adults and right away began laughing and playing across from us. All
the adults were plump, acting merry and busy; they continued working and
talking while we watched, except for our host, who kept grinning at us.
I was greatly fascinated to watch a young child with
short white hair, that looked as if it were cut with a bowl, climb up an open
stair-wall to my right. The stairs were carved into the wall but didn’t look
like stairs we would choose to climb; these were far too steep, more like a
ladder. Oddly, the child climbed with his knees and elbow as well as his hands
and feet. He looked funny but very quick and agile. I would have needed a rope.
The child disappeared into a round hole in the ceiling. I think he purposely
tried to catch my attention to show off how quick he could climb.
As I watched the goings on in the room, the feeling of
warmth and homeyness, and welcome grew until I became very comfortable with my
surroundings. Although, there was one item in the center of the room that I couldn’t help
noticing, it puzzled me. It was a huge rounded wood hill, about half my height, polished smooth. Exquisite
patterns of wood grain swirled and twisted in odd contusions all over and
around the wooden hump; it looked polished to a smooth glass finish. A round
black hole on the floor next to it led to a lower level. I felt a little guilty
that this hump kept pulling my eyes away from the other events in the room
because the grinning man would nod and watch for my acceptance.
Jesus whispered to me that the man was grinning so happily
because our presence meant a good omen for his family. At this time, a few of
his people were walking outside in the cotton, on a spiritual journey; our presence would guarantee
their safe return. Also, he explained that my presence wasn’t a shock to them
because they already knew about earth and were familiar with much of our
culture.
I had noticed that they acted towards Jesus as if he were a close friend, but I don’t know what
name they called him by or whether they thought him a God, angel, or man.
Later, I asked Jesus about the wood hump. He explained that the hump was a
family platform for each speaker, who would sit straddled on its pinnacle.
Every home had one. Each family group attributed great spiritual
significance and special meaning their own house platform. This wood rise, or
hump had been deliberately nurtured into an overgrown knot of wood, selectively nourished and then polished to a fine
gleam. It was the central pride of every family group. Jesus also explained
that their unique life style was caused by their periodic need to escape the
cotton fall, which filled the air and covered the
countryside three and four times a year. Much of their everyday business of
living and working was carried on inside their trees and the root system that
had tunnel connections below ground that reached around the
world.
He added that their technology; although, at the same
developmental level as earth, was very different from ours because so much was
carried out and based on their trees. Chemistry was almost their sole industry.
For instance, they could induce tree parts to grow in specific required shapes through
special feeding or irritation of the wood. “They are extremely skilled at
growing and creating everything they need.”
From this, I assumed that they worshipped trees and asked
Jesus if this was so.
Laughing, he answered, “No, they don’t worship trees,
they worship cotton. Cotton is everything. It is their main source of
clothing as well as food. But don’t think of them as primitive, far from it.”
We went back to Cotton World about a week later. This
time, when Jesus knocked on the tree, he explained that knocking was an important
tradition on this world. Because so much of their root system is open to casual
strangers, knocking at their home was a necessary courtesy. Even passing a work
station in the root was an occasion for a quick knock on a hard surface to
signal their near presence.
On our last visit, we were invited to visit their cotton industry, and that’s where we went as soon as we
arrived. We walked to the middle of the room, to the smooth wooden hill and
then down steep stairs that was more like a ladder than stairway but we touched
bottom quickly.
At the bottom of the ladder, the area where we stood was
a large, vast room with openings that branched away into the distance. The
ceiling looked like tree material, but it was actually the top of the root
system. Many people were walking past us, coming from every direction. Everyone
looked at us as they walked past, not staring, but very aware of our presence,
as if we were the top news of the day. A few people paused, sending wide smiles
our way, but no one intruded themselves uninvited into our group that I
thought said a lot for their polite culture.
Our presence was a great honor to our host and he wanted
everyone to know about his guests, so; I don’t know if the walking traffic was
more numerous than usual. I could see other ladder openings and assumed they
led to other homes. Jesus told me that these people were like us in that they
divided their time between inside and outside. Right now, because the cotton was flowing, they spent more time inside. As soon as
it stopped flowing, they would go outside to cultivate their crop.
At present, we stood in one of the huge, joined root systems of a select group of
trees, this was where they processed their cotton (cotton-like substance) into the many items they
needed. They do to their cotton what George Washington Carver did with the
peanut; they make it serve numerous uses. We walked over to the side were a
number of low stands were lined up in rows. Workers walked us down the rows,
pointing and smiling at odd forms that were growing in the square boxes; the
forms reminded me of mushrooms and molds. The lighting was very soft and
diffuse plus everything seemed to have a slight glow to it, fungus?
We stayed in the root system only a short time. As a
guest, I climbed up the stair-ladder first and slowed everyone up. Upstairs, as
we took our leave, each person nodded good-by to us. I was hesitant to leave
such a warm hearth friendly place. Imagine every Christmas myth, a homey
comfort next to a warm fire. That’s is what it felt like I was leaving. Though,
I had seen no fire places any where in their home. I was tired from the strain
of long observation, but still felt a slight disappointment that we had to
leave these fine, friendly people.
Later that night, sitting and reflecting on my visit, I
wondered why we hadn’t visited a place of worship like usual. Then suddenly, I
realized that perhaps we had. Perhaps worship to them was working on the cotton; they may combine work and prayer. I didn’t know but
hoped to learn more on my next visit.
Which was very soon because we went back the next night.
Jesus wanted to show me Cotton World without the cotton flowing in the air. It was beautiful. A deep cerulean
sky with fluffy white clouds much like Earth on a sunny December day with snow drifting and
covering the ground. Except it wasn’t snow and the trees were fat, and squat
with green leaves hanging down in bunches from their round tops. In the
distance, as far as I could see, people were outside scattered amid their short
stumpy trees raking and piling up the cotton.
The family I had met was outside gathering up cotton. Children were scampering in the cotton. I watched as a few
children put cotton in their mouths and ate it. This didn’t
concern any of the adults watching. Gathering cotton was a game to the
children. The adults seemed to make a game of it too.
The sun was very bright and I wondered if the cotton would rot before they could rake it all in. “Oh, no,”
I was assured with a shake of the head, after Jesus asked the grinning man for me. He explained that the
cotton substance needed to ripen beneath the sun for a short time to swell the
pods. The man showed me two samples, one had very small seeds tangled in long strings and the
other had larger pods, less tangled and stringy, more like fuzz. When the
“Gathering” was complete, they would open trap doors all over the land and drop
it down the shoots into large airtight containers.
Jesus told me that after the “Gathering:” they would party
all night beneath the starlit sky. The dancing and drinking and games would go
on all night and into the next day. They begged us to join their “Gathering”
but Jesus told them that we couldn’t stay this time, but promised we would
visit one of their future Gatherings.
After we left, Jesus told me that the people on Cotton World have less
problems and disputes than most. Their land is very integrated and made more so
by they’re large root system. They are a playful and happy people. Their
struggle for survival hasn’t been severe because the cotton supplies most of their basic needs. Jesus promised me
that we would go back for another visit one day.
I’ve just realized that I should clarify a few major points about the names I throw out so casually, names often considered sacred and holy, nevertheless, real and valid names that I seem to take for granted because I have been using them for so long. It is time that I explained who I mean when I refer to God, Jesus, Mary, or angels. I mentioned angels in an earlier chapter but I don’t think I’ve tried to illustrate my personal views of God. I keep writing about God but I haven’t clarified my ideas of who and what I believe God to be. I am not sure that I can clarify these ideas unless I try to share by illustration my visits and my visions; doing so, I may learn enough to enhance my own knowledge as well as yours. I’ll start by detailing my feelings during a vision of God one night.
One night in early evening, Jesus said to me, “I will help you with your second book; I will show you many worlds.” At this time, his words shocked and amazed me; not only the many worlds part but also because I thought my book was complete, all sixty pages of it. My first inclination was to think it wasn’t Jesus speaking at all; that someone was imitating him. Then I saw God smiling down at Jesus and me as if to confirm the seriousness of Jesus words. God's smile set a solemn aura of authenticity to Jesus’ strange words.
God was right there in front of me; even so, it is almost impossible to describe God because he showed himself as transparent and barely detectable, only a whisper of air with a smile. In just this way, God has joined us in conversation a few times, a phantom smile hanging in the air above me. If it’s only a smile, how do I know the smile belongs to God? I don’t. At these moments I rely on God’s essence of being and my instinct, my own strong feelings of recognition. Admittedly, this is not proof. There is no proof, only God’s overriding presence. I find God’s smile enough. If you sat in my place would you dare ask for more?
This ghost smile aspect of God is different from my audience with God when I was placed at God’s feet by two angels. Then I felt God’s overwhelming, awesome power and might pour out as if from a golden tornado. I’ve also seen God in different aspects. Another time God showed himself in church as an intense golden luminescence, as though the sun were stepping inside the church to join us in prayer. And a few times God appeared as a vague human figure, smoky and transparent, nameless but sending an aura only God's presence could fulfill. Many other people have seen God, in the present and throughout history. We humans have seen God in a thousand altered aspects, given God a thousand distinct names for a thousand special reasons. I think God belongs to all of us in our own way.
The recent visits are different, so different that I ask myself if I am seeing the same God? Which God am I talking to? Or, should I ask myself which form of God is present at that moment. Jesus told me once that God has thousands of names on our world, and that I could take my pick which name I wanted to use; still, I remain in a quandary—“But, isn’t God God?”
Now I realize that instead of puzzling over God’s many names, I should think of God as having many different aspects: Aspects such as power, might, love, character, forgiveness, universal being, all-ness, oneness. In other words, how dare we limit God or decide what God can be or should be at any given time. Who are we to ask if God is male or female, personal, or universal, one, or many? Why can’t God be all these things at once, why not—everything and anything. Why can't God be a personal God for me at the same moment he is a universal God? Or why can't God, who is everything, take on any form, large or small. I learned in an anthropology class that we Americans tend to see things as opposites, wrong-right, either-or, black-white; we shun gray and middle areas in daily life. We must shun gray ideas in religion as well, or why else wouldn’t we let God just be God. In the book, Conversation with God: Book Two, by Neale Walsch[9], God keeps repeating that he is us, that he is inside of each and every one of us. God says repeatedly in the book, “I am you and you are me.” This idea is hard for us little people to understand, the idea that we are God. We may agree that we are a part of God or that we can grow more godlike, but to be God? It is beyond my ability to fathom too. I read an interesting theory once that speculated the universe began with one particle that kept bouncing around and multiplying itself until it produced every atomic particle formed in this vast universe, including us. Talk about being star dust—We’re not star dust, we are all one star. Though, it is a good explanation for how we all became one. So, perhaps we can’t separate ourselves out of God but God can separate himself from us. After all, we Christians believe God stepped down and lived among us once.
I’ve explained my relationship with Jesus in past chapters, you could say it is probably the real subject of this book, but do you know that even now, after all the talks I’ve had, after all the visits, sometimes I still doubt.
Jesus said to me last night, “You still don’t believe me, do you?”
I had to admit that I still had doubts. This made me feel humiliated and shamed. How could I still doubt Jesus? I think the reason is that he is so much there, his presence is so penetrating and vivid that it causes me misgivings and doubts. Even when I can’t see him, which is most often, I can feel him next to me. I become so aware of his presence when he speaks that there is no doubt in my mind that a real man is standing there. It doesn’t matter whether he speaks inside my head or outside; his voice feels just as substantial. This substantiality is what bothers me; it feels too real to be true, to human to be Jesus. I worry, sometimes, that it is an evil man or joker sending thoughts to me. So I asked Jesus.
“What if it’s someone pretending to be you?
“I told you once, ‘you always know’.”
“Yes, but sometimes I don’t know that I know.
I laughed at my own words then. I reminded Jesus that all of us have preconceived ideas about him. “How can we help it, you’ve been a God for two thousand years. Of course, I tend to forget that just because Jesus is a God or Lord, he isn’t non-human.
Later I thought about my continuing uncertainties. We do tend to put Jesus up at the top of a heavenly hierarchy but he never asked to be put above anyone while he was on earth, why would he want to be put on a pedestal now. His message was not about who had status in heaven or earth. It was about love. Its just happens that his ability to love so far exceeds our own that it boggles our mind. How can we help putting Jesus on a pedestal? It’s almost impossible to think of Jesus as just an ordinary guy.
Still, maybe he is, if not an ordinary guy, a real person. Once, an angel whispered, “He is a very busy man.” I understood this to mean that Jesus took time out of a busy schedule to talk to me, although I admit I don't know how this can be unless he is a multiple person who is many places at the same time. Or, is it that in a single moment he can send his mind to various places? Speculating, I have decided that Jesus has such a powerful mind that he can spread it out to diverse places and talk to many people at the same time. Factually, I cannot explain any of it; I just know it to be true. I have spent many hours in circular question and answer sessions with myself trying to understand Jesus. I finally decided not to question who or what Jesus is but to just accept him as the person he portrays himself to be – Jesus Christ.
In the final analysis, whether Jesus is a God or Lord, I need to see him as a human companion and friend so we can travel and talk together with a similar base of understanding. Still, I am left with a very odd question that needs to be answered, a question that has been popping in and out of the pages of this book since its beginning; namely, “Is Jesus also a spaceman.” The word spaceman conjures up little green men from Mars, but we know Jesus is far greater than any of our Mars cliques, if for no other reason then his immense love for all of us. We hear reports of entities from UFOs using force and cohesion on people; this could never be a method used by Jesus or any of his followers. Love equals respect. So, the answer is "No," Jesus is not a spaceman as we usually think of the term, nevertheless, we could think of him as the Lord of Space or a Citizen of the Universe.
Perhaps this is a new understanding of the Jesus who is alive today, the Jesus I’ve learned to know and love, the Jesus who talks to me. One day when I was alone at work, Jesus spoke of his return. Without warning, in a very determined voice, I was instructed to remind you that he is on his way to earth. I am to assure you that his arrival will not spell doom. Jesus will bring joy. He stated, “Yes, not doom! Write about my coming in the clouds.”
Jesus spoke these words to me almost as he must have spoken them to his disciples two thousand years ago:
“...And ‘you will see the Son of Man5
Seated at the right hand of the Power
And coming with the clouds of Heaven.’ ”
This statement of Jesus arriving in the clouds when he revisits earth is repeated six times in the New Testament.6 Although if you’re like me and never satisfied with a simple answer, you might ask why will Jesus revisit earth if he never left? Read John 14th chapter, verse 16 to 20. “I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.”[10] These verses seem to imply that although Jesus is leaving, he will stay on as a comforter. He does repeat that, …but you will see me because I live, and you will live.”[11] Isn't he here with me, with all of us? Or is it only his spirit that is here with us? Isn’t it Jesus who speaks to me, the same Jesus I have known and loved these many years?
One night, tired, weary and sick of living, I told Jesus I wanted to give up because it all seemed so useless. “Can’t you just end it for me, now?”.
” What if I quit?” He asked me.
My heart suddenly thumped in panic. “But you can’t quit. You’re Jesus.”
I had such a feeling of fear it was unbearable. Imagine if Jesus wasn’t here—Gone the friend to lean on, gone the direct link for prayer, gone the person who always listens, gone the shoulder to cry on. I couldn’t fathom such a loss. The very idea leaves my mind with a big hole in it, a sinkhole to nothingness. Jesus can never quit. He is here. He is with us humans forever.
Unfortunately, forever also holds for his death. He will always have died--horribly. We celebrate his death every Sunday in church during Catholic mass and other Christian services, we wear crosses on our ears and around our necks, we paint and portray his death image on cards and art. The manner of his death is forever with us and has tormented me for many years; it remains unbearable to me. I hate how Jesus died.
Once driving past a small museum I had always meant to visit,
I parked the car on a whim and rang the bell. The museum, a small storefront
next to a flower shop on
I climbed the narrow stairs and entered a chamber of horrors. Every single painting, and there must have been hundreds in this huge, upstairs loft, was a depiction of Jesus Christ dying on the cross. The red blare of pain splattered and pulled my senses in every direction, blue eyes, black eyes, tortured eyes hanging in the air, dead agony leaching out of every face, white rigor death on every body, nailed, stabbed, scorned and hanging. Anguish poured into my bones as I walked, weak kneed, around in a circle and cried. I sobbed. Jesus Christ was dying over and over again, all around me. I had to leave, I couldn’t stand it and I tried to wipe my eyes on my way down stairs but the old priest knew I’d been crying. He patted me and held my hands for a moment as I walked out the door and asked me to, ”Please come again.” I never did. Then one day when I drove past, I noticed the museum was boarded up and closed, dirt and decay the only occupant worming itself onto the building. I still feel sad at its passing.[12]
Sadness and tears threaten to overwhelm me as I write this, I still feel like crying. I love Jesus. I can’t bear to see him die. I avoid church events leading up to Easter for this reason. I hate that he had to die and one night, many years ago, I told him so. He showed me how the earth would look if he hadn’t died:
Looking down from above, the earth was a black, burnt, dead, cinder revolving slowly against a background of star dots. A testament to mankind run riot without inhibitions; worse than any animal because animals kill from need, mankind kills for pleasure. Without Jesus’ life and death as an example we didn't sacrifice or share with each other enough to hold our world together. Without Jesus example, we forgot to love. We had reverted to a dog eat dog existence. Mankind had fouled and killed his own spaceship; the nest God gave us for nourishment and growth.
If death is all we primitive humans can understand, if death is the only fact that can penetrate our psyche, the only horror that can paint two thousand years red, then, “Yes,” Jesus had to die.
He died but is not dead.
Dead is not death. It came to me in a flash of intuition one night that I will never die. I will go on forever visiting different worlds in the universe until I’ve absorbed all the knowledge I want or need. I know this for a certainty. My body will die, many times perhaps, because I may choose to live again in a different form on a different world. Something else that I suddenly realized was the tremendous value of living in a futile, impotent body, forgetting where we came from and remaining ignorant of where we go. How dull it would be if we already knew everything. Life is the thing. It’s in the living of life that we experience life and each moment truly is precious. I know living on the edge all the time can hinder the enjoyment. Fear of the unknown, loosing a job, loved one, or shelter can put us far down, but most of us keep going anyway. Reading my own words makes me want to take stock and pull myself together, to remember the adventure of each moment. "Don’t wait for death and life in the universe," I need to tell myself, "Relish life now." I wonder if our great saints, gurus, and holy ones were really space travelers who stopped on earth just long enough to live a short life before moving on?
Most people would disagree and say we can’t know where we came from or where we will go, but if you believe in evolution then the continuing idea of learning and growth after death would follow naturally. I believe that a soul can never die, that life is the purpose of the universe. Perhaps we are all transient visitors to Earth, putting in our time on the stage until our part is over, then moving on to points unknown. Jesus smiles as I write these words. Death is not death but life.
Neither is God dead. I remember when Jesus first told me, smiling and laughing, that God was coming to earth. It was about fifteen years ago and I envisioned a vast, huge ‘something’ turning around and coming towards us in space. Just recently, I asked Jesus if God was really on his way to earth. His answer was “Yes.”
I asked what it would look like. If I understood Jesus correctly, God’s Kingdom is as large as a solar system, and it is traveling through space, or some other medium, and coming towards us. I believe, and hope, God will arrive in my lifetime.
I want to mention something Jesus said to me one night in December while I was watching a PBS program called From Jesus to Christ. The program talked about the apostles, that they expected God’s Kingdom to arrive soon, and how their writings were affected when God didn’t show-up. Out of the blue, Jesus said to me, “He did come.”
I felt shocked, “What, God was here?” Do you mean that God’s Kingdom came to earth and people didn’t know it? Couldn’t they see it? Why not? Did God pick you up? Did God pick up the saints? Will that happen again? We have powerful telescopes now, will that help us see God?
Jesus didn’t answer my grocery list of questions, perhaps because they were unanswerable. But thinking about it later, I wondered if we’d need a special insight to see God’s Kingdom. Is it that only certain people could see God’s Kingdom, in the first years of the current era and two thousand years later when it returns?8 Must we find an extra element in our psyche, one that has gone missing for much of our evolution, a psyche ability that has been asleep; perhaps a psyche we are just now learning to stir up. Don’t laugh when you hear of people talking to animals, healing the sick, or sending their thoughts around the world. Their minds are in the forefront, minds gathering new dendrites that speak. Our psyche is trying to wake up from its long sleep. How else could we call God to us? How else can we finally meet the real, breathing, alive God?
Jesus said it himself, many times, “He is not God of the dead, but of the Living.” Mark 12:27[13]. How many times did Jesus tell us this? How many times do we read the phrase, living God? Almost thirty times in the Bible, twenty times in the New Testament alone.7 It follows that, if we can think of Jesus as a Citizen or Lord of the Universe, can we also think of God as the universe’s Master Controller?
I wonder what God would look like as the Master Controller. God suddenly spoke to me the other night with a promise. He said, “I will show you something soon.” I believe God intends to show me something to share with you, maybe information to include in this book. Although speculation is useless, I speculate nevertheless about what he will show me. Will it be a vision of God as the Master Controller? Will I see the whole universe spread out before me? Will I be shown the future, the past. I don’t know but I promise to share what I learn.
Names are unnecessary when I travel, but names and labels are necessary to write intelligibly, even most of our thinking revolves around names and symbols, it is the bases for our learning and knowledge. This is why I have always called the beautiful lady, Mary. I didn’t know what else to call her, so I gave her the most respectful name I knew at the time. It fits royally because she is elegant, queenly, and Godlike. She has spoken to me off and on through the years verbally and mentally. I call Mary when I am in great distress. Because roses are her symbol, and I love roses, she hands me an arm full of red, white, or yellow roses when we visit and talk. It was Mary who told me how to distinguish Jesus from his nemesis, his imitator. She told me, “Only Jesus can wear a cross.” It is a symbol, like a badge of honor or a crown of kingship that only he can wear.
At another time, about fifteen years ago, the beautiful lady spoke to me for a long time, telling me about heaven and its relation to our world. I was in a trance state; with the result that, when I woke up, I couldn’t remember most of what she told me except the final statement, “You now have everything you need to know.”
“But I can’t remember anything you told me,” I complained.
“One day you will understand,” she replied.
This has been her message through out the many years I've known her, that one day I will understand. Now I constantly learn more and more but I still don’t feel as if I know enough. I keep asking when will I comprehend all this information I've been told, when will I understand what Jesus tells me, when will I know who the beautiful lady is, when will I finally understand?
Disaster Worlds
These next worlds are places I didn’t want to visit, worlds I was afraid to see because of the conceivable horror involved. Reluctantly, I became Jesus’ companion as, night after night, we visited these disastrous worlds. You needn’t be afraid to read further, none of these worlds were as vividly horrible as my imagination could make them, no fire and brimstone, torture, or death and dying, just world wide problems that we can hope never occur on earth.
Gray World
We stood suddenly, on a high ledge overlooking a large, built-up city with towering high-rise buildings as tall as the sky. Everything was gray, not a dull gray, but a polished, gleaming gray, giant steel gray cylinders, some square squat blocks of burnished silver/gray, intersected with broad gray avenues and cross streets. The sky overcast the cityscape in slivers of gray and silver, not unlike a sunless, drizzly day on earth. I noticed a few tall white buildings that stood out like clouds amid the gray but overall everything was washed in silver light under a steel gray sky, clean gray, nothing was dark or dirty. The scratchy clean roadway between buildings was interspersed by small square courtyards planted in light green trees. I noticed only a few specks of color scattered throughout the city, small signs or flags.
As we stood watching, I asked if we would visit their countryside too, like we did on Tree World. Jesus’ answer startled me. He told me that there was no countryside left on this world, that most of the land was developed. He explained that the only undeveloped country left was areas of extreme hot and cold, high mountains, and deep oceans.
I found this hard to imagine as I watched the few scattered figures below scamper to and from, out one building into another. Then what was few in number grew into a large crowd moving in long narrow lines that defined the geometry of the city, like a colony of soldier ants marching to a pheromone call. All the people walked, I didn't see any cars or carts or buses only people, people moving down streamlined avenues from one end of the city to another.
"Do their faces look human?" I asked Jesus.
"We can go down if you want to see them close, " He answered.
"But won’t our presence bother them?"
"No," he explained, "We can stand in front of them to block their path but they will not see us. They refuse to see.
This happened just as Jesus said it would. We went down and stood in the middle of the swarm of walking, running bodies, but as our unmoving bodies blocked their progress, they turned and moved around us defining a new path down the avenue. Something there had to be avoided at all cost, something invisible, something unmentionable, a taboo of some sort. We stepped on to the next avenue, no confusion, just a turning away from our bodies as if we were a hole in space. Not one person stopped or looked at whatever was blocking their shortest route from point a to point b. No one bumped into us or their neighbor. We were nothing but a chuckhole in the road.
"They really can't see us!" I yelled above the humming buzz of the city.
"No, Jesus said, " And that defines their disaster. They are blind they refuse to see.
These people refuse to recognize or acknowledge any form of spiritual belief, any idea not reducible to fact, he told me. Any unproven philosophical idea is regarded as belonging to the outer fringes of society; they abhor speculation that doesn’t lead to concrete results.
"It has been like this for a long time,” he added explaining that they stubbornly refuse to acknowledge anything contrary to their usual belief system. They are unwilling to change or bend, he explained; also saying that the problem was not a local one but worldwide.
I was beginning to understand. Their problem wasn't that they lived on an over-crowded and mechanical world so much as it was their blindness, their refusal to see. They would hold to their blindness even up against some of our earth’s most cherished spiritual concepts.
"Is heaven trying to help? I asked
“We set up anomalies in a few odd places around their world.” Even though he had implied earlier that it was too late for this world to change or reinvent itself, it was hoped that some people would stop and puzzle about the anomalies set in their path. The whole point would be to cause enough perplexity to jar them awake and out of their self-made compliance, their blindness.
I still understand. “But why are they doomed? Where is their disaster?
“Their disaster,” Jesus answered, “is after death, no one is leaving the world after death. They keep coming back to relive what they refused to learn the last time. He told me it was like an infection feeding on itself, the more they kept intensifying their non-beliefs, the more they kept living, dying, and multiplying within the same precepts of factual beliefs. Beliefs that kept proscribing religion or any form of spiritual revival. Because of this stubbornness, a person had no other resource but true death – like a caterpillar that could never become a butterfly. A caterpillar rotted inside its cocoon.
"We are done with this world. Jesus said to me. And we left.
I suspect that each world will have a specific message for us. We on earth seem more able to see new ideas and spiritual possibilities; at least, we are not as blind as these people.
Jesus said it was too late for most people on that world. These people are not represented in the universe even though they are an old race. When the real disaster strikes, they will be unprepared for it, they won't be ready.
I've learned a few things since I began writing this book in early 1998, consequently, by its near end, some of my original ideas are wrong and some terms overused or obsolete. My frequent references to time is one of these misused terms because time has limited relevance when mind traveling between worlds. Duration, development, evolution, generations, hours, days, and years, are all valid references
When living and traveling on a frozen ball of energy, Einstein's term for earth, but invalid when mind traveling. Then again, it may be important to arrive on a world at a certain time, for instance, during the appropriate developmental stage of its civilization, but it also may not. I don't know. I am new at this. My only clue is that Jesus often compares a current civilization's technological development with our own.
It may be
that when traveling between worlds, you are stuck with whatever time
you get there in, that you can't just snap your fingers and zip into a new time
frame on other worlds. When Jesus took me to Cotton World, I
remember that for us to see the sun shinning we needed to revisit the world at
another time. It is all very confusing. I've determined that while traveling in
space can be very complex and hard to understand, traveling in time can be unfathomable.
It seems that although a specific time of arrival to match our present
technology may be important when traveling to other worlds, on our own world,
no rules are evident. I have mind traveled back through time by my own efforts
and with Jesus. Once Jesus took me to his favorite place on earth--old
Although, time is half my title, I use little of it when traveling, in fact no time at all seems to be involved. My visits are shorter than the time it takes me to express them. Actually, the non-time aspect of traveling may have a profound effect on its happening at all. If it wasn't for time being what it is, or what it is not, traveling could prove to be impossible.
Time is such a perplexing subject
I can't dig deeply into its mysteries in this small chapter. More so because we
tend to throw time terms around like confetti, terms like in time, out of time,
timeless, timely, nick of time, times, old times, etc. As far as our sense of
time goes, As Larry Dossey, M. D. Explains in his book, Space, Time, and Medicine[14], we
experience four different kinds of time. The first is the present, this is our
feelings of now; the second is duration, as our sense of time flow; the third
is temporal perspective; our self-experience of time; and the last is
succession; our counting of time. This seems to be all common sense stuff, but
what I find most interesting is the point he makes about time as experienced in
past civilizations. He said that past civilizations lived in clyinical time
while we modern people live in linear time. Past civilizations took it for
granted that everything in time would turn back on itself and repeat the cycle,
the heavens turned, seasons returned and crops reseeded themselves, and death
was replaced by birth.
We on the other hand, live by clocks. The clock ticks off the moments of our lives, we go from year to year, day-to-day, workweek to work week. We don’t think of it as repeating so much as flowing from yesterday into tomorrow, from birth into death. Our lineal view of time is important because it plays on our expectations, early in life we learn to expect time to flow like a river, so it does. But, according to present day science time not only does not flow like a river, time may not even exist. Time is an anomaly.
There may be no such thing as time. What we call real time may be only a presumed quantity or quality that we acquire by measuring and counting. We count the earth’s progress around the sun and call this duration of time a year. It takes time for the earth to go around the sun, we can count the months as the earth moves from January into December; but by counting months, have we described what time really is, what time is made of, at what place it exits the universe? Can we touch time? Oddly, touch may be the only thing we can do with time, touching the time inside ourselves may be time’s only real definition. I feel time therefore time is.
If you ask what time is, the answer depends on which kind of time you are asking about: there is sidereal time, solar time, standard time, ephemeris time, perceptional time, and fourth dimensional time. Our own perception of time could be split into longer or shorter moments, according to how time passes for us. Who hasn’t experienced the clock at work ticking ever so slowly or the opposite experience of becoming so involved in an activity that we look up and exclaim, “Where has the time went.” This psychologically based sense of the elasticity of time seems related to our inner happiness. This kind of time flow is considered an illusion, but then, what kind of time flow is not an illusion?
And, in fact, we can’t get out of it. We can’t leave time, whatever it is, behind. Time is intertwined into the fabric of our whole life, our psyche, but perhaps not in our souls? Trying to decipher the meaning of time is like trying to study the self even though we can’t stand outside our self to take the measurement. Time is so wrapped up in our perception of it that every kind of time may be nothing but inside time.
Wait a minute, you ask, what about decay? What about growth and change? Doesn’t a flower change through time, doesn’t a tree grow, or a baby? Yes, but these events boil down to cause and effect, and cause and effect has been proven to be non-existent in sub-atomic particles. “At the molecular level there is no distinction between past and future,” explains Nick Herbert.[15] And according to quantum theory, at that level, if you break a cup it doesn’t matter if it suddenly falls into pieces because eventually the pieces could conceivably flow back together again. Time can flow backwards on the sub-atomic level as well as forward. There are time arrow directional problems in science but they are too involved for me to go into here.[16] As Paul Davies said of most scientists’ view of time, “Time does not pass, and the past, present, and future are merely linguistic connections with no physical content... Dates have relations but they do not occur.”[17]
He sites the words of Herman Weyl who said, “'The world does not happen, it simply is.’" In this picture things do not change: the future does not come into being and the past is not lost, for all of past and future exist with equal status.”[18]
That may apply to sub-atomic particles but not to me, you could answer. But what exactly are you? You are made up of sub-atomic particles made up of atoms made up as chemicals made up of tissue and organs made up into gross matter. You and everything around you are made of electrons in a standing wave position around an atomic nucleus. Atoms that are made up of more space and air than anything else, air made out of the same sub-atomic stuff as you are only spread out so thin you can’t perceive it. If you were made of not only neutrons and electrons but some photons too, and some of your parts surly are, you would not travel in any time at all because a photon doesn’t perceive time. A photon travels at the speed of light, the highest speed attainable in the universe. A photon arrives as soon as it leaves. The electrons of which you are made, may exist as a quantum wave that fills the whole universe until they are observed or measured; there-fore, until you perceive each or any or all the atoms within your system, you are spread all over the universe. Luckily, you perceive yourself as there. You could also take this to mean that if you choose to perceive yourself at any other far away point in the universe, volla! You are there.
Fred Hoyle, an eminent physicists, and one of the few not afraid to philosophize suggests that time can be described as God shinning a light into a group of pigeonholes. In one of these holes, you exist. When the light enters the hole, you perceive yourself as living in a present time with memories of a past and hope for a future. When the light moves to another pigeonhole, you cease to know your own existence until it shines into your world again.[19] This idea is so beyond most of our common sense that we need to dismiss it as our reality, but it does give us some food for thought. Does this mean that God is shinning his light on me now?
If you’ve read
this far into the book you know I am not exaggerating by much. If we are
grateful for this potential gift, a universe united into one, imagine how God could experience time. I
wrote a poem about it that I put in the back of the book.
Sense God is all knowing and aware throughout the universe, I wonder if God's time always means the present. Is God’s present somewhat like the Hopi Indians whose philosophy only acknowledges time as being in the present by neglecting the past and future? God’s past, present, and future must be one continuous present. This must mean that God can reach out into any single present moment of time throughout the cosmos from its beginning to its end. God who pervades the universe with his total substance, observes the universe, and allows us in on his observation. I believe this is the reason for our creation, to share the universe with God, also God allows us to actively interact in the universe, our beings joined to his being.
If all these ideas and speculations are too exotic or iffy for your taste, what about the theory of time that has been around for almost a hundred years -- Einstein’s theory of Relativity and Special Relativity. According to Einstein time is elastic, time stretches and bends around gravity and time and matter squeeze together if you travel close to the speed of light. These theories have all been experimentally proven true. Also proven true is the fact that time is relative to the observer. If you are on one world and someone else is on a space ship, you will both perceive and measure time differently, you will both age at different rates relative to each other and, more to the point, you will both be right.
Relativity determines not only the speed of light but also the speed of everything in the universe. If we measure and send a beam of light from Mars, it will take five minutes to reach the earth. Einstein determined light to be a constant in the universe, traveling at 186,000 miles per second. It takes light 100,000 light years; the time light travels in one year, to travel the diameter of our Milky Way galaxy and only 18.5 miles per second for earth to orbit the sun. All this time, but it only takes the mind a split second to travel to the other side of the universe or beyond.
If we agree that time is the fourth dimension then the past must still exist, back there. In fact, past and future have always existed but humans only perceive this “block universe” one moment at a time giving a view of a continually changing present.[20]
If even this is too much to take in, stop and take note of your next moment on earth. Think about the present moment you call now. Where did it just go? The next moment has already taken its place, now has moved into the past while the future moment has moved into the present, and the present has just moved into the past, ad infinitum.
Never ending moments of now brings us back, full swing, to the questionable use of time in my title, what kind of time do I travel in? No time at all. It may be the non-existence quality of time that allows me to travel in the first place. Time does not put any roadblocks in my path. So, even if my body remains anchored to earth, my mind or soul remains free to roam. With this in mind, it seems that the only obstacle to movement in time is our own limited perceptions. If the first half of my title is non-existing, what about the other half, space? You guessed it, space doesn't exist either.
Cracked World
Through a gloomy, cloud filled sky; I saw a deep dark crevasse of a jagged land, dirty with rocks. The deep gorge cut off one huge, bare area from another, bare except for sparse tuffs of grass and low bent trees growing around the scattered rocks. Bare rocks and sparse vegetation was the norm on this world Jesus explained to me. Beyond the crevasse, where we stood, I could see small round hovels; no other word defines this scattered group of homes, hovels centered on destitution and sacristy. A fine, misty drizzle of rain continued to fall while we were there, giving everything a bleak and blurry look.
“It always rains and storms here, “ Jesus told me and explained that the people celebrated with joy any time the clouds let the sun shine through for whole day.
I wondered why didn't we visit a city first, like when we visited the most other worlds. Jesus told me that there were no longer any cities on this world, only substance living conditions and unremitting hunger. They gather together in small groups to share scavenged food and bedding. There is not much left of either. “This has been their way of life for a long time,’ he added, “a life without hope.
These people are the last remnants of what was once a large and thriving civilized world, a world that can no longer support more than a few scattered groups. All of the remaining people must inhabit a narrow band in the temperate regions of the planet. There is no longer a livable tropical region.
"Will they see us if we go over for a visit?" I asked.
"They are a very spiritual people. Their circumstances have driven them toward deep spiritual beliefs. So to answer your question, yes, they would see us if we made a visit but it would have a negative impact on them. A visit from us tourists could only remind them of all they had and lost.”
"Can you help them?"
"The people, yes, their world, no,”
He told me that their only exit is death that they know this and they also know how deeply they are loved and welcomed when they leave this world.
"Their world is so horribly gloomily and sad." I said.
"Once their world was like Earth, with green grass, blue skies and fluffy clouds. It was very populated, a fountain of life. Now there is very little fauna left or animals."
“What happened?”
In answer, I received a flash of insight that showed me the sudden disruption of energy balance between their star and world. They kept building on; heedless of the choking black smoke they released every day in combustion. Industry run riot. They didn't listen to warnings from the scientists or heaven. All the evidence pointed to disaster but they turned away from making a collective decision to correct the problem until after it was too late. Once the balance begins to drastically change on a world, it is hard to bring it back into equilibrium. Finally stress from the lessening of resources flipped the scale over into the dead zone. Now their world is dark and gloomy forever. They are not much alive, only going through the motions of life because life is tenacious and holds on to whatever it can cling to. Guilt wears them down as much as need.
If it weren’t for spiritual release, their lives would be completely hopeless. But we are there among them, trying to keep their spirits directed towards heaven. "We have not abandoned them," Jesus told me.
I felt sad for these people as we left yet somewhat relieved that there's wasn’t a hellfire world.
Since the introduction of quantum mechanics early in this century, we have been living in a world full of quantum weirdness. Quantum weirdness is matter at the atomic level. As the famous physicists, John Wheeler, stated “Nothing is more important about quantum physics than this: it has destroyed the concept of the world as “sitting out there.” The universe will never afterwards be the same.“[21]
What isn’t
the same? Bowling balls still hit pins, billiard balls move to the pockets, we
sit on chairs that don’t let us fall to the floor. These everyday experiences
are logical results of
Sense Quantum physics is so vast a subject; I will only repeat for you a few of its main ideas or theorems.[22] One of the more unusual facts is that electrons, and photons, in other words, all the matter we see, feel and hear, can act as both a wave and a particle. What does that mean?
We all know what a wave looks like on a still pond when we throw a rock in to the water. If we throw two rocks in we get waves that interfere with each other, little mixed up ripples. It is probably no surprise that when a beam of light is shined through two slits in a screen, the beam will show an interference pattern on the wall. But when scientists narrowed the beam down to one atomic particle or photon of light at a time, the series of particles still flowed through the two slits making an interference pattern. The question was, "How could a series of single particles know where to go to collect into the same interference pattern?" The answer was that the atomic particle or photon of light was a wave until we observed it, then, because of our observation, the wave collapsed. The same wave has now become a particle.
Another mainstay of the quantum theory is what Hiensberg called the Uncertainty Principal. This means that a scientist can never measure the whereabouts of a particle with total accuracy. The exact place of a particle can be measured or its motion but never both. Any one of us can predict which pocket a billiard ball will, or should, roll towards if we hit it just right, even though I haven't played pool for thirty years, I found out last summer that I can still predict which pocket the ball will fall into. Not so with an atomic particle, it can go any which way after you pinpoint its position. Or if you know the direction of a particle, you can’t know exactly its position, only how fast it is going.
What this means is, as stated in the book, The Ghost in the Atom, [23] If we put a single quantum particle in a closed box, its wave would be spread all through the box. Now if we lower a screen in the middle of the box we would expect the particle to be in one half or the other. That is not the case. The particle is in both half at the same time, it only reverts to one half after we choose which side to look for it in.
So what, you might ask, this weirdness only applies on the atomic level, doesn’t it? But then, in walks Shrodinger’s cat, as the tongue-in-cheek theory is called. Shrodinger’s theory pulls quantum effects up to our level of observation by asking what would happen if we put a cat in a box with a Geiger counter and a very small pile of uranium that will last about an hour. The counter has a relay button that will release an acid to kill the cat when it goes off, if it goes off within the hour the cat will die if not the cat lives. At the end of the hour we realize the cat must be ether dead or alive. But in the rules of quantum physics, the cat is in a superposition of two states. The cat is alive and dead. It is our choice as we open the box whether the cat has lived through the hour or died. (All this supposes you have a very quiet cat). The theory states that we the observers, make the choice for the cat’s life or death because we choose whether the particle has or has not burst into a ray of energy releasing the poison and killing or not-killing the cat.
Another
proven aspect of quantum theory is non-locality. Since
David Bohm has a different interpretation; he compares it like, “a fish being seen as two distinct pictures in two individual television sets. Whatever one fish does, the other does as well. If the fish images are assumed to be the primary reality, this seems strange, but in terms of the ‘real’ fish, it is all very simple.”[25] According to Bohm, “This means that the universe is interconnected in some deep and dimly perceived way, on a level where time and space don’t count.”[26]
The
official view of quantum mechanics called the
The focus of this book is the unity of the universe and mind travel within it, consequently, I agree with Bohm’s theory more than the others because it describes the universe as one, unified, undivided whole. The same description mystics have given the universe throughout history. Jesus agrees with Bohm’s theory, as well. Note – in an earlier chapter I stated that Jesus said the universe is not a hologram, it was my mistake to think David Bohm ever said that it was, Bohm said that the universe was like a hologram.
Bohm’s theory of reality is that “the simple patterns we see come from a deeper enfolded order. Reality unfolds to produce the visible order and folds back in. Reality is constantly unfolding and enfolding at such a fast rate it appears to be steady.[28] I picture Bohm’s reality like a spinning fan, when the blades are still, it is enfolded, when the blades are spinning, it is unfolded. Bohm further states that, “thoughts, feelings, and mind work in a similar way.” He uses the word implicit to mean a thought can be enfolded into another thought. “Both mind and matter fold and unfold so they are similar in basic structure. This helps us understand they are related. “
He comes to this conclusion by the wave/particle duality of quantum physics. Similar to the mathematics of a hologram. He says a hologram is the best example [underline mine] of where we see a pattern enfolded and unfolded into a visual image. “The whole is unfolded from each part” He uses a seed as another example of enfolded order. The seed has information to make a tree. A tree uses air, soil, and nutrients to grow into the tree. The tree can make more trees. Now you can’t say definitely the tree was in the seed. The tree needed the whole environment. The forest grows from this seed, the forest evolves and changes, enfolding and unfolding. He adds, “I want to say that life, mind, and inanimate matter all have a similar structure.”[29] He explains that matter in general is like “active information.” “If you yell, 'fire,' every one moves. Interestingly, he also says that this quantum potential doesn’t lessen with distance. This is similar to what I have experienced.
Bohm states that his implicate and implicate order are only the tip of the iceberg. And that we stand where Galileo once stood, at the brink of a new order. “In his view, quantum weirdness is a keyhole through which we have caught a first glimpse of another side of nature, one in which the universe is neither deployed across vast reaches of space and time nor harbors many things. Rather it is one, interwoven thing, which incorporates space and time but in some sense subordinates them...”[30]
Bohm’s view is not the favorite among scientists but many keep going to his corner but some scientists think of Bohm’s view of non-locality as made up of cold hidden variables which tends to make consciousness non-creative. But Jesus commented to me that Bohm’s view of the beyond is just the opposite - he implied that it is full of life. This beyond is the universe where I travel so I understand first hand what Jesus means by agreeing with any view that fills the universe with life.
But does the universe still need an observer to exist if it is enfolded. Perhaps, because both mind and matter are enfolded, the observer can still collapse the quantum wave. I just had the sudden realization that our minds are non-local. This means that our minds can send instantaneous signals or travel the universe in no time at all, which agrees with the last chapter on time and, not surprisingly, what this book is all about. Non-locality also explains bi-location, this is where a person is reported to be in two places at once - some great Sufis and saints have displayed this ability. Teleportation could also be explained by non-location, perhaps our mind is the driver, the body just a follower. Non-locality's greatest importance is that it clarifies for us how Jesus can be with me and you and everyone else at the same time. His mind is non-local as is ours, but he knows how to use his.
Black World
One place kept popping into my mind just before we left for any disaster world. It was a place I wanted to avoid, one fleeting glance was enough. I was instinctively frightened of the brief scene that flashed in and out of my consciousness. I don’t know how I knew it before I ever got there but finally Jesus said we had to go there for a visit. No, I didn’t want to go but I did, or write about it, but I will. I shudder still when I remember it for a moment. But I must describe it for you or how will you see?
The picture that kept flashing to me was a crusty and cracked ground swelled with red flowing cinder intermixed with shinny black rocks. The scene in front of me where Jesus and I stood was the same only worse. The air was clear and cold except when the wind gusted, blowing black dust particles around in small rivulets and dust devils then the air became dirty and the ground seared bare. Large black flakes of burnt, charred something swept up and twirl a little dust eddies at my feet—I couldn’t stand it.
In some places the black, shinny, ground lay bare, stark, and naked, in others coal black and soft, intermixed with ebony rocks. Far off in the distance, twists of metal and thrown beams like black sticks in the ground. I think the layers of crispy flakes would have been as hard as rock beneath my fingers if I had touched it, but I didn't. I couldn't wait to get away. It was a dead burnt world; a world that I assumed had once been filled with life.
"What happened," I asked Jesus.
"A solar flare," he answered.
I shuddered and cringed within myself.
"Don’t worry,” he added, “Everyone left in time."
"They got off"! They didn't... I couldn't say the word burn just then.
"No," Jesus smiled "All the people got off."
I felt wondrously relieved that they had escaped.
"They had to leave because they were aware that their sun was unstable. They had to learn how to get off as soon as possible."
"They all left!" "Every single one of them!" “But how did they get off?" I asked him. "Did they leave in a space ship, or some other way? Then I realized that they probably didn’t have time to invent and build enough spaceships for a complete populated world. They needed a quicker solution; they must have used their minds.
“Yes,” Jesus told me, “They sat down and sent their mind out into space. They left by the same method we use to visit other worlds – their souls took flight.
There are other ways to travel, aren’t there? To travel like we do requires the ability to direct your mind, to concentrate, to believe, to know. What about the children? Suddenly I realized how inept children were at concentration. I felt a growing horror at what Jesus’ answer might be.
"They stopped having children a few generations before they needed to leave."
I thought the togetherness of their society was almost unbelievable. They really had it together didn't they? Imagine a whole society collectively making a decision of that magnitude, and then carrying it out. They were an old, mature race of people weren’t they?
Jesus nodded in agreement.
I felt relieved that they had gotten off this round hell of a world but then I had the sudden realization that none of the animal life could go with them. "They couldn't take anything, Could they? I said. "They had to leave it all," I whispered, as my mind conjured up Fluffy and Lassie and Benje and Smokey and trees and roses and lilacs and daises and Dune, and Moby Dick, and The Bible and the Mona Lisa and ...butterflies ...and oh, so horrible to think about. There have been times when I couldn’t pick a leaf off a plant because I’d hear it cry. The cry from this world must have vibrated through all of heaven, the psychic shock must have been unendurable.
All they could take with them were their memories of their history and culture.
Suddenly, I felt anger. "But aren’t you supposed to be showing me worlds that are destroyed by their own people. God caused this destruction," I cried. “Those people didn't make their own sun blow-up.” Oh I felt like crying for the lives left behind.
Jesus asked me gently, "When someone on your world dies, who causes it? Does God? Or is it what you call nature?"
"Usually nature," I answered, “Unless it’s a tornado or something.” Then we call it an ‘Act of God,’ but that’s when it is really nature and not God. No, we don’t say God kills people when they die.
But nature also runs its course throughout the universe, he explained to me. Worlds are born, they die, some sooner, some later. Whole civilizations grow and die just as civilizations do. This is a lesson for all civilizations. You learn to understand this when you study your histories. Change is the way of the universe. Life is process, life is change.
"There are some worlds where people don't get off in time,” Jesus added.
“But how can God let whole worlds die?” I asked. “God is the universe, does he let himself die?”
Jesus didn't answer. Perhaps there is no answer. Or perhaps I wouldn't understand the answer if he told to me. I don't know. I don’t know.
On another day Jesus told me something strange. He said that often I pick where we are going. How can that be? How can I pick a place that I don't know is there? In the black world, I kept thinking about not going there, did I see it before I went? It reminded me of the picture Jesus showed me of the earth if he hadn't died. I feel weak-kneed thinking about it.
Kneeling during mass one Sunday not paying attention to the priest, who could on a day like this when suddenly long sunbeams enter through the window, transforming the near-empty church into a cathedral, the colored stained glass into a prism, the dark wooden pews into gold, and the clear chilly air into a honey yellow mist; so, instead, I knelt telling Jesus how beautiful the sunshine was. Jesus agreed smiling but then looked at me sadly and stated his often recurring request, yet again:
“Show them the way.”
There in the heaven filled cathedral, I felt as if a cloud had suddenly darkened the sunshine. Perplexed and dismayed I said to Jesus, “But I don’t know what you mean. Do you mean that you want everyone to talk to you?"
“Yes,” he said.
“You want more people to become mystics, everyone”
“Yes,” Jesus said with strong emotion, “Yes, yes, yes.”
His ‘Yes’ still reverberates inside me because I am not sure how to erase the urgency, the swirling pit of in-completion I feel; what key will open the door and let this unfulfilled emptiness out. What can I do? All that I know to do is write this book, this request, this call to arms – talk to Jesus. Those who already do, talk more, those who do not, start talking today. All of you--become mystics.
What is a mystic? A mystic is someone who talks to God or Jesus. A mystic, you, does not need to be in an ecstatic state, or in total union with the one, or to have an out-of-body experience, or even to be meditating; no, the only requirement to being a mystic is that you talk as sincerely as you know how with heaven. Communicate with Jesus, the rest will follow. Jesus[31] will lead you step by step up the ladder of mystic wisdom and learning. All you need to do is talk, not in prayer, but honestly and with emotion about what you think about our world, what your worries are regarding your children, what your neighbor’s need, what your country needs, what beauty and love you see around you. What you hope and dream and think about. Please understand that I am not against prayer, I am just saying that you need to take the time to share yourself with God, in your own words and with your whole mind and soul. Talk to Jesus as if he were your best friend, he will become one. Question your best friend, he will answer.
Probably, answers won’t enter your consciousness immediately, only hints, then your psyche may stretch into a broad smile as you both laugh at your own silly questions, and finally you may see Jesus standing next to you, ‘his continence shining.’ Leave it to Jesus to lift you, step by step, up the ladder to heaven. All you need to do is begin. Listen to what Donald Spoto says in his book The Hidden Jesus, “Jesus comes not to offer a new code of conduct, but to announce the accessibility of God for humanity. Utterly free in his own response to God, he came to set the world free from a slavery to its own limitations. We are still sitting on our limitations.”[32]
This book is only a record of my experiences traveling and talking to Jesus, therefore, it leaves out the negative aspects of being a visionary or mystic. For one thing, mysticism is almost a dirty word in most social circles. If you talk of mysticism, or even of being spiritual, you are automatically assigned to the loony-bin side of society. Most segments of our society think this way; even modern religious painting isn't considered serious art. Supposedly, education relieves a person of the need to be spiritual or ‘weak thinking.’ This is nothing more than a rebound reaction to the national, dogmatic church of the past—five hundred years in the past—the debate between superstition verses rational thinking. Early scientific thinkers had to believe in themselves rather than the church, they had to push their theories outward, they were the underdog. No longer, now science is our church and our refuge from discovery, its ideas often ring dogmatic in the popular mind giving us experts in medicine, psychiatry, engineering, and other disciplines. We delegate only a specific, short time and place for God; whether in a Church, Synagogue, or Mosque; but God would have us close to him at all times.
Another negative image we have of mystics and mysticism is that they are always walking around with their head in the clouds. I consider myself a mystic but I can go days or weeks without mediating and don’t feel mystical at all. Although it is important for me to touch base with Jesus every day, the knowledge that he is always present doesn’t overwhelm my daily activities; it enhances them. I go about my daily life as if nothing unusual has happened, and it hasn’t. I consider talking to Jesus, knowing Jesus, loving Jesus ordinary and normal. Jesus should not be an exception but the rule. Although, I admit that there are times I’m not in a hurry to talk to Jesus. Like last night when I just wanted to be within my own thoughts while thinking something out for myself. It was only later that I sat back and asked for Jesus’ opinion. So please understand, even though Jesus is always with me, he isn’t always in my awareness, though I hope I am in his. Being a mystic has been likened to climbing a high mountain. It doesn’t mean you are always on the peak, you needed to climb some rough terrain to get there, but after the long struggle to arrive, you stand at the top and yell “Eureka!” what then? Then it is time to climb back down. In other words, if you find ecstasy, you can’t revel in it all the time. If you find great wisdom, an outlet must be found in which to share it. If you find yourself standing alone at the epic of the world, and like it too much to come down, pull others up to the top with you. If or when you walk back down the mountain, you can’t miss the road signs, the signs that point you further along your zigzag path. The gift you carried down may be invisible to most people, but give it away, anyway. Here is a small Sufi story that I can’t remember where I read it but one that I’ve never forgot: the mullah was making his followers work all day in the hot sun for hungry and needy people. Except one fellow who just stayed in his tent and prayed. Finally one of his followers came up to the Mullah and said, How come we need to work every day while that man just gets to sit in his tent and pray. Why doesn’t he help the needy? Why can’t I sit and pray every day like he does? The Mullah answered, “Are your prayers effective?“
Now that I have a more mature, humane understanding of the world, I feel that I can serve it better, that my integrity and knowledge of who I am will stay with me no matter what I bump into. Now that I see beyond my own needs, I can see what must be, what must become, what must happen for the cycle to continue, for evolution to follow its course. One thing more - once a mystic always a mystic. As a mystic, you will forever see the world as changed, interrelated, and undivided. Once you have climbed the mountain, you can never un-climb it, you will be forever changed.
Do you read the news and identify with the person in their tragic moment. I do more and more. I fit the other person’s tragedy or joy onto myself, wrap it around and compare it on for size. An odd photograph of an aged old person’s face can send me sliding into other times and places with them, back into the German horror camps or 30’s dust bowl or the Great Depression. One Nubian or Arab or Scottish or Ethiopian face in a photo can grab and hold me in rapture for long moments while I mind-walk into their lives. The soul-some eyes, deep riveting lines of angles and wrinkles, sculpting the nose and mouth into a testament of life. So perfect, so telling, and so timely, though perhaps that is only my artistic sense of beauty. Growing more empathetic towards all humanity seems to be one of the steps we climb towards oneness. It is part of our constant push forward towards God. Who knows where it will end, what we can become when even the sky is not a limit. The whole universe is there for us to explore, all life ours to become, all sorrows and all joys.
Enough, I get carried away sometimes.
Back to mysticism. I think I became a mystic because I didn’t know how to pray. Since I didn’t know any prayers, I told Jesus of my dreams instead, I speculated and bombarded him with questions about earth, heaven, and God. Eventually, I began to realize that Jesus did help the people I told him about but not in ways I expected. Usually, the person would tell me they felt better, their depression was over, or they had turned their worries over to Jesus. Now I‘ve learned to always pray for what God thinks is best for the person, not what I think is best. For myself, I felt prayer would be shameful if used selfishly; when I did pray for something I wanted, Jesus replied that God knew what I needed. So I had to learn to leave my needs to God, a hard lesson, still unreachable and still unlearned.
Just recently, Jesus told me “All will be restored.” I think he means that everything that I lost or that was taken away during my period of learning or testing, twenty or thirty years worth (?), will be restored. I joke that I never had much anyway but I am pleased at Jesus’ words. And I wonder if that makes me the modern equivalent of Job? Jesus has also promised me that, “nothing will breakdown until you don’t need it any longer.” I joke with Jesus about this too because it means I’ll either be dead, rich or married; and, “Do I get to choose?”
One odd problem relating to mysticism that bothers me greatly is that I need to come down from the clouds to write. It’s as if I am too close to the light to see and consequently for a short time afterwards I stay blinded by the sun. As I get further into the book, the problem isn’t as limiting as it used to be. Perhaps because it has become habitual, after a visit with Jesus to sit down and write a few notes to help jog my memory later; though, I still find it hard to find the right words to express what I’ve seen. Plus, the need to put into words what I just experienced takes something away from the vividness of it. Just try to write about the rose you just smelled or the flavor of butterscotch ice cream and you'll know what I mean. Needing to write in words about my travels with Jesus separates me from the emotional impact, the intensity, the vital scenery, and visual stimulation. Often, after leaving a new place, my senses are saturated with color and feeling that I can’t adequately describe.
This inadequacy also affects my
ability to describe my relationship with Jesus in correct terms, Jesus does
not treat me like a child, though this may be hard to detect from my writings.
Perhaps because I am attempting to share feelings and sights that are
unexplainable and un-reportable. How can I write in clearly understandable
words my feelings for Jesus that are almost sexual in their intensity? Most
often, though, our relationship is friend to friend, even if one friend has a much greater
wisdom to impart to the other. As a friend, I’ve often played and joked with
Jesus. Once I suggested that he was made out of neutrinos. And he joked back
that perhaps it was really anti-neutrinos. We both smiled at this. Yes, let me
restate this concept – Jesus can laugh as well as cry.
I have always supposed the instruction of Jesus, “Be as little children,” should be taken literally. To me it has always been a mandate to become more childlike, to use my imagination and to try and love as simply as a child. Mother love comes close to this ideal. The idea that as Christ's mother she also loves us unconditionally has always pulled many of us towards Mary. As a catholic, it may be natural that I join in attributing to Mary the same deep respect and reverence that most popular Catholics do. Their love has held for so long and is felt so deeply that the official Church has been unable to sweep her many appearances, called Marion Visitations, under a rug. The official church doesn’t like things they can’t explain. Mary can’t be easily explained but I believe her visitations are an attempt, to warn us of coming danger, to gather us under her wing, to reach out to us. Mary is one of the overseers of earth; she stands guard for us. Her love pours down to us in the form of her visitations. Would we dare not listen?
Mary showed me something that I was told not to write about in this book. Of course I won’t write what I saw but I could try to send it to you in a vision. I think she meant that the knowledge of what she showed me wasn't for everyone. Don’t worry; it isn’t a message for now, but a vision far into the future. Mary showed me with deep love and concern; I may try to show a few of you as well.
The universe is driven by love, but because we can’t always feel it, we think
heaven’s affection doesn’t reach down to out little ball of earth. It does but
we just can’t see it. I suspect that it works like this: you make a choice,
perhaps to go to college. God loves you so dearly that he makes your choice valid. It is God who
collapses the quantum wave; it is God who makes your choices real. His love
would also work if you chose to pick up a gun and kill someone. God knows you
choose this action for the good of your soul. Perhaps your soul needs to learn
and feel what hell is like behind bars or what death means to the other family
and yours or some other learning event. This in no way means that suffering
should be encouraged, quite the opposite. To suffer should only apply to what
we need, asked for, or want. We need to learn to share love, not revenge, hope,
not despair, but some people are still slow to understand, slow in growing
towards God, so slow that they may need horrible experiences in order to begin
that long reach upwards. There are probably people, though they never speak of
God, who are nevertheless spiritual in the way they live their life, they
revere God’s principals if not his name. And some people may not learn in this
life, but need to wait until the next one, if they are so lucky
Moral maturity is probably the first necessary quality of character to becoming a mystic. At times, it becomes vitally important to know what principals you hold as right or wrong; otherwise, how could you hope to distinguish a truth from a lie. Both will pour into your psyche, pulling at your soul. The devil and an angel standing on your shoulder whispering into one ear then another is not just cartoon characters. Temptation is a real phenomenon. I’ve always been afraid of being led down the primrose path with a joke at the end, and I have started down this path a number of times. Mystics tread the edge of sanity as well as good and evil, and I’ve wavered back and forth across this edge a few times, but Jesus always pulled me back. Years ago, I figured out my most helpful moral; though I can’t always live up to it: There is only one sin, and that is to deliberately hurt another life. Of course, this is the same thing Jesus told us two thousand years ago, “Love one another as I have loved you.” We can’t always practice this love; so, I reasoned that if you can’t love everyone, at least, don’t hurt anyone. It sounds easy but even this simple moral can be hard to follow.
Though the idea of ‘love your neighbor’ is not easy, it is up to us to keep trying. Many of our social ills could be solved by asking, “Where is the love? Who needs love? In which direction lays the empathy? How are you hurting? What will fix the heart pain?" This, of course, assumes a more mature social population then we have at present. But our ability to love will change as we continue to grow because we’re going to grow up faster than we know, the people of the near future will be more spiritual by necessity. This I was told and believe but I don't want to study the information any further, I don't want to know too much because some things are better left unknown, some visions are better not visualized.
Part of being a mystic is visualization. Visions can come at odd times and may seem weird or just your imagination. It may be hard to tell which is which, but if the vision persists, it is probably true no matter how unfounded in reality it seems. This is hard for most of us to accept because we have been taught since infancy not to believe in visions, in far away vistas or scenes we see with our mind’s eye. Once you begin looking inside for information, you will be amazed at your newfound perceptions of truth and knowledge. For example, I keep seeing a short and plump man and women calling me. They are the two hosts I met on Cotton World. They want to tell me something but I was too busy cleaning house to sit down and meditate or pay attention. Suddenly it didn’t matter if I had time to sit down or not. Their message came through regardless, they said, “We have agreed.” I don’t know what they meant but I know Jesus is involved in their decision. Perhaps they will give us another gift. They gave earth a gift three thousand years ago. The Manna that the Israelites ate in the desert was what I called cotton. I didn’t include this when I was writing about their world, although Jesus suggested it. I thought it was too unbelievable. I thought people might get upset. Now I realize that everything I write in this book is going to upset someone. So I might as well tell all. I do hope their new gift, if gift it is, will last in our memory as long and enduring as their last one. Jesus has not yet explained what it is all about.
Jesus knows and wisely says little. Sometimes the results of his knowing can be funny. For instance, often Jesus knows what I am going to write before I write it. The other night, he told me that I wasn't done writing yet although I knew that I was. It was later that night when the new memories popped into my mind and I had to go back downstairs, find my notebook, and then jot the new memories down, two pages worth. Jesus also knows that this book will be printed but he doesn't tell me when or how or even if it will be printed post-humorously.
When Jesus speaks, I don't question his words. I recognize that his knowledge is far superior to my own, so much so, that my questions to him are probably childish. Nevertheless, I wonder, how does he know so much? Is it because he has lived so long, for two thousand years or has he been alive since the beginning of the universe? If so, has he kept up with our growth in knowledge and science or is he always complete in total knowledge? Jesus has stated to me, “I am not invincible.” Does this mean that he doesn’t know everything or he can’t do some things, (makes sense or evil would be eradicated?) Imagine Jesus having our modern equivalent of knowledge two thousand years ago and then agreeing to die for us. The thought tares at my soul. What if one of us agreed to step down to become a chimpanzee for a span of life. Imagine us as trans-chimp being told by a human, through sign language, who and where we came from and that we would revert back into being a human after death. (This would make a nice science fiction story and probably already has) My imagination runs wild and all I can think of is that chimps are dirty. I've strayed from the subject again; this idea is hardly mystical or is it?
If we could contemplate all the knowledge there ever was, would this knowledge equal God or the totality of all spirituality? Is quantum physics the first step towards a scientific understanding of religion, God, spirituality? Perhaps all knowledge is nothing but a mental construct in our mind and the mind of God. The whole point of my book is that imagination is a valid means of traveling the universe. Imagination touches and enwraps God. It leads us to a mystical union with God. We are all active participants in the idea stuff of the universe; do we also help create the universe? Do we share in God's creativity? Does the universe form itself to our imagery of it? Is the universe a growing, alive, aware, matrix of all that is, was, and will be? Yes to all. I have learned through my talks with Jesus and our travels that the universe is not the cold, dark, unthinking place that our instruments measure and that it also has many layers (dimensions?) that we are not aware of.
I call this multi-universe God. God who is personal as well as universal. God who can be a substantial, separate entity apart from us who, at the same time, can be an ethereal substance within our minds, all this while holding and keeping the quality of the whole cosmos together. It is more than I can imagine. Besides, I dare not get into a philosophical discussion of God because I would loose every time. I only have my own best reasoning and what I have learned from my visits. Visits that I hope I’ve encouraged other people to try. That is the purpose of this book.
When you get a thorn in your shoe, stop and take it out. When you get a thorn in your heart or mind, it is time to move to action and remove it. After I graduated from college, a few years ago, I began feeling lonely and set apart from people. In the past, although I was alone a great deal of the time, I didn't feel lonely. That changed and keeps getting worse as I finish my book. Jesus has not relieved me of these fits of loneliness; he has allowed these aches and pains, this thorn, to fester until I do something about them. Pull the thorn out. Now that the book is almost finished, it is time that I get out and practice what I preach. It is time to get more deeply involved in something. Am I waiting for the right moment? It is no longer enough for me to stay home and befriend children in the neighborhood. I think its time to broaden my horizons, to reach out more. I don’t know. The reason I write this is so that you can see my reasoning and how Jesus encourages us to change. He gets his message across with subtle hints or, if need be, a hammer blow to the psyche.
It is your soul that needs these hard, life changes as events to learn from; it is your soul that delights with you and keeps you going even into disaster. Your soul has lived many lives and will live many more - so enjoy. This life is just a platform from which to grow like a flower nourished by soil. The Eastern religions are right, our soul gropes towards bliss, towards the Nirvana. But then what, what does a soul do after it attains bliss? Why, it goes back down the other side of the mountain and re-enters life. We in our topsy-turvy life styles can hardly imagine everlasting bliss and perhaps wouldn't want it. How dull. There may be a few Buddha’s who think bliss boring too, so they step back into life again and again, as prophets.
But for us who have not achieved bliss states, we climb down from the mountain and walk back into life, back into a sea of struggling souls crying out for empathy. Empathy we may now give more fully. I no longer feel tormented and abused by the evil one. I am now sheltered from harm by a mental shell of knowing. Jesus has repeated this to me over and over lately, I cannot be harmed any more, though I still worry, I still feel pain, I still cry out for help. He has also told me that my children will be protected from severe evil. He means all my children, my birth children, grandchildren and my neighbor children, the many different children who have been visiting me for the last fifteen or twenty years even my former foster children. This doesn't mean that they won't get into trouble at times, but, on the whole, they will grow up all right, that my influence on them will bare fruit, and that because I loved them, Jesus' love will shine from them too.
Those of you who seek
union, who want to be mystics, remember this, Jesus is always present even in suffering, especially in
suffering. I remember that each time I was threatened, sneered at, mocked, or
ignored, Jesus watched out of my eyes as the person behaved badly towards me.
Jesus felt my anguish, my pain, my naiveté, my horror. Fate will give to each
person what they have given. Is this what God meant when he said, “There will be justice?” I
believe so. I too have sowed what I reaped. We all do, if not in this life,
then in the next. For now my conscious is clear, my many sins and faults have
been burnt away through time and suffering; consequently, in my next life I
will be exploring the universe with Jesus who promised to put a golden flower in my
hair.
Divided
World
This world looked unusually strange. The first thing I saw was a low oblong building set deep into the ground. The rooftop and about two feet of the beige sides stuck up above ground while the rest of the large enclosure was sunk beneath, somewhat like a berm house. Jesus and I watched as a single person caring a large item in their arms walked down a long sunken alleyway leading to a door deep-set into the building face. Jesus told me that the person was carrying a tray of food to the inhabitants of the building, food that was grown by these same people living outside and above ground. The people living inside the building never go out unless they ride in huge steel armored vehicles.
“What’s wrong? Are they afraid of the people outside?”
"No, air," Jesus said.
At one time the air became poison to a large group of people, as I understood Jesus explanation. Those who could go outside helped those who could not, until their culture grew and solidified into the division of inside and outside people. Physically, the people are similar, only their clothing style defines them as different from one another. The people on the outside do all the work, they tend to the people on the inside. The outside people grow the crops. They live outside in the elements. It is a mild world but a past disaster long ago sent the leader and people inside for cover from fallout. Each group grew and repopulated itself.
Now it is hard to say who is the slave and who the keeper. The people on the outside are free to roam over their whole beautiful world beneath sunny skies and green trees. While the people on the inside are able to travel on machines in vast corridors of underground tunnels along with other technology but insiders can't ever leave their shelter (or prison?). This behavior is now so deeply ingrained in their culture that the past reason for the division has become clouded in superfluous myth and logic.
The sad state of this worlds division means that the two people can never interact except as slave and master, owner and servant. This prodigious keeps them blind to each other's value. Their narrow view of humanity keeps them from heaven because their kind of heaven is unworkable.
I knew why, it was because heaven equals oneness, and unity.
“Yes, intolerance is not a part of
God's
Each group competes against the other in their blindness. The powerful went inside long ago but kept their hold on the people outside. But in turn, the insiders can't enjoy the sun, breeze or oceans of their world.
Jesus says there is no help for these people because they refuse to reach out to one another. A new disaster, not of their making, will soon hit their world. It will be gigantic in proportion and sudden. It will crush the buildings and turn over the land--few will survive. Those few who do survive will be forced by circumstances to join together. If their inbreeding and class division proves too great an obstacle to reunion, the people will parish forever.
“Can't heaven teach them to adjust to each other after the disaster?”
They are also lacking in deep spirituality; worship to most of them has been reduced to ritual, religion has decayed into meaninglessness, Jesus explained, that their stubbornness has outweighed all the help heaven has sent to them.
I told Jesus I didn't want to write about this world, that I think of myself as tolerant and broadminded so, it is hard for me to understand how people can be so divided and close.
“There are uncountable
worlds in the universe,” Jesus told me. And then explained further that some
societies act more atrocious towards each other than these people, our own
earth has seen worse. At times we earthlings have treated each other with
horrendous hatred but usually for shorter periods of time then these people. He
also said that when any world meets its final catastrophe, it is nerve racking
horrible but that God gives all beings autonomy--the purpose of the
universe is life in all its variability's--beings must grow to finally become a
part of heaven or parish. No one can be born into adulthood, all must be nourished to
grow in wisdom.“
“You can think of these disaster worlds as modern parables,” Jesus added.
The next morning, I woke up disturbed by some of the worlds we had recently visited and specifically the stubbornness of these last people. Reflecting on what Jesus has showed me; it seemed to me that once the pot is stirred, it follows its own momentum. Why wouldn’t they change, why couldn’t they see the obvious, or did they? Perhaps they didn’t want to see. I am sure the answer would be love if we knew how to practice it precepts. But perhaps only a deep, mature love could reverse a disastrous situation on any world. Perhaps once found and nourished, a mature devotion cannot die in a person, system, or world. A soul cannot die, but it can go on repeating itself indefinitely until it learns to love.
Love must be extremely important--it seems to underlay the universe to its core. This would hold true if God is universal love. We could argue that creation is an act of love. On a mature earth, love would prevail. Most social dilemmas could be solved by asking, “Where is the love?” But this learning to care and empathize must be learned, experienced, and evolved. We could say birth is a prescription and duty to learn to love. But there is one argument that has always bothered me and can unhinge all our talk of love. That is the death and pain of children, children who we consider inexperienced and innocent. We can hardly ascribe their pain to this life. I believe the answer must be that their soul knows and has found love. Evidence of after death experiences from children seem to bare this out. Our soul knows when to depart for new horizons, even the souls of children. “But, I ask myself, “aren’t we all children?’
Jesus suddenly answers my speculation, "Yes."
I feel better now. My fear for those people was caused by their own folly, their own stubbornness. Jesus said that heaven tried repeatedly to help them through writings and prophets but no prophet prevailed.
Disaster World
Jesus told me that it was important that we include our visit to this disaster world in the book. For some reason he must consider its message important for earth. On my first visit to this new disaster world, I was unsure of where I was because I kept flipping back and forth between two places. One moment I would be standing, clouds beneath my feet, surrounded by a beautiful azure blue sky, the next, I would be enveloped by a thick, gray/white fog peeking with mysterious dirty, gray forms. What was happening was that Jesus was showing me both the upper and bottom layers of a world and I found the difference so difficult to adjust to that I was flipping back and forth.
When I recovered my equilibrium, Jesus showed me that I was standing in the glass tip of an extremely tall building. He said the building was so tall that I could hardly imagine its height so he showed me what it would look like if I could see its total length. It looked like a needle, a needle with its full length and tip stuck up out of the ground, half its eye and end looked sunk and buried. Jesus was right; it was an unbelievable feat of engineering. But the building wasn't build for pleasure, its towering length was necessary to suck in pure air and energy from the sun. There are literally millions of these needle towers all around this world.
At street level again, I took another look. The atmosphere was still white, not a pure, innocent white but an oppressive grayish white, one I thought I could choke in. Huge building corners and edges stuck through the murky fog like phantom sentry posts, I needed to reach out and touch one shimmering, dark surface before I realized it was an actual solid form.
If fog covered most of their world, how did these people survive without sunlight penetrating to ground level, I asked Jesus? He said that was the purpose of the needle buildings, to gather sunlight and its energy. Energy was so treasured on this world that it was used as a monetary system. They place so great a value on this energy that their sun has become their God as well as savior. Only the very privileged can go up to the top of a glass tower to view the blue sky and sunlight except on holy days. It is considered a holy rite and on certain days, people climb the long twisting stairs up to the top and receive a minute of sunshine and blue sky before they climb back down again in a long descending line. Almost everyone who climbs to the top on holy days, cries. The tears have become a part of the ritual of worship, a gift to the sun. On these holy days, they walk past their God shinning in the sky and are ashamedly aware of all that they have lost. Yet, even after seeing the holy sky, no large enough number of the population will step down from their privileged life. No one will agree to consume less then their neighbor, no one will have fewer births even though over population is killing their world.
In general, these people look and act much like we do. Their air problem is caused by a constant over build-up and growth. They have more land and fewer seas then earth which increases the problem because even their seas are over built. Actually, their crowded, underground, condition isn't their worst problem; their most entrenched problem is their attitude towards change. They stubbornly refuse to change their customs to benefit their own civilization.
They value their population too much, so much that they refuse to put a halt to its expansion. Over population caused many past wars, which increased, the population because the people killed had to be replaced increasing the stress and pollution, which added more problems leading to more wars. They keep growing, people upon people, and all these people need to have food, shelter, transportation, and entertainment. Since no one will give up any privilege, it becomes impossible to cut down on technological growth, as well. After the sun, their most valuable possessions are new births. The long-standing custom of their whole world demands a high birth rate.
Balance is the message from this world, Jesus told me. Balance is very important. In a closed system, the definition of any world, everything is in balance. If you take away from one part, it builds on to another. No matter if it is water, air, land, sea, population, energy, food, housing, etc. It is all in balance. When this balance is disturbed, it causes great distress that builds upon itself like a volcano, which eventually blows its top. This also holds for mental balance. One area builds and spits out hate and anger, corrupting its surrounding area and spreading until half the minds of a world are weighted towards hate. The result is an imbalance in the equilibrium of the system.[33]
Currents of unbalance are natural to any world, like small breezes that blow hither and there, but tornadoes and whirlwinds of unbalance are not. A world that is over stressed and over crowded is heading for danger; it is on a downward spiral towards collapse. The people on this world are now gathered so close together with no room up or out of each other's way that they are like rats in a small cage. They have no place to go.
They have the technology to invent ships that travel to other worlds but all their energy is used for survival. They don't travel with their minds either, all their knowledge and resources go into keeping the population fed and alive. They are on a treadmill of produce, consume, and grow.
"Are saying that they need to control their birth rate?" I asked Jesus. Don't ask me to write this, the Catholic Church is totally against controlling births. "How else can any world prevent such a large population?"
"The problem needs to be prevented before it escalates," Jesus said, "There are other ways." [34]
I think Jesus meant that pills to prevent birth would be ok and that people who don't believe in using pills can use other means. People can change their habits and customs regarding honor and privilege. We could honor women with out children as well as those with children, we could encourage small families, and we could insure higher education because educated people contribute to a lower birth rate. We could demand that the population in third world countries receive an education. If we think about it, there are many ways to control the population, but it takes effort and understanding.
"A deep respect for life includes the understanding that a new birth is preplanned and treasured." Jesus also said that in a mature society, no birth is ever unwanted, unloved, or unnecessary. As Spock would say - the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one. These sentiments are really too unworkable for our world at this time. We cannot imagine loving so greatly or wisely. This thought brings up sentiments we can easily imagine--war and hate.
“Is earth moving towards its own disaster?” I ask
Jesus says that NATO bombing
Events are fast out pacing my book.
My granddaughter is typical of this generation. She is very naiveté in thinking that "its all over there, all the bombs and stuff.” But it is this generation who will pay our price, it will be their job to learn the spirituality we did not, their job to gather together in affection we couldn’t feel, their job to travel in ways we refused to see? We spoil them with material goods while giving them a world of fear and violence. Theirs will be a hard lesson but a lasting one.
I don't know the details of what will happen and don't want to know but it will happen. Atrocities will multiply and create more and more anger. I believe that the coming events will change our world forever. It will be more spiritual by necessity. I may have written earlier about prophecy serving as a warning for change, but it is now too late for prophecy, too late for change. This is no warning because it can't be prevented. Events are even now overtaking what Jesus has hinted at. The ball rolls down hill.
Our near future may be horrible, but it isn't doomsday. Jesus assures me that we will persevere; we will ride out this storm wave just as we have always ridden them out. Imagine someone from the fifties or sixties generation suddenly entering our society; they would look at our current movies and television shows with disgust and horror. But we take this same society in stride, we roll with the punches. This is how we will persevere through the coming hardships, with guts, hope, and faith. Nevertheless, our children will be forever changed. It is them, their trauma and eventual spirituality that will carry the day. They will embrace the earth and give it rebirth.
This is why I consider it so important to love and give validity to the children. We aren’t leaving them much of a world. I dedicated this book to the people of the future; I just now realized what I meant by that dedication. The people of the future are these children living now, the children riding their bikes outside on the sidewalk, the children in Mesoamerica sleeping under viaducts, the children laboring in Chinese factories making shoes for us, the children living in sewers in Romania. (My own writing frightens me so bad I don't know how I can write it). Many of us already know this in our hearts. We know we need to take care of the children because they are so precious, so important--earth will be their world.
Interesting that Jesus tells me I am not done writing tonight, that I have something more to add. But I don't know what? Sometimes I’m forced to realize that Jesus knows what I am going to write before I write it, as if he is reading this book in the future and making suggestions on how it will be.
Armada
It was very late in the evening. Jesus asked me to go with him. He took me up above earth and pointed. Space moved towards me on fast forward. I saw a--the first word that popped into my mind and the only one that fits—Armada. An Armada of vast proportion made up of worlds and planets and ships and streamers of light and golden clouds and stars—all aiming for earth at tremendous speed, or so it seemed to me as I watched. The Armada is on its way to earth but it is from someplace else, another universe. Jesus agreed that universe is too strong a term but we don’t have the words to define where they are really coming from. I wonder if they are coming from another place and time. Future time? Then Jesus spoke hard words.
“We will be too late,” He said, “Hold together until I arrive.”
"Too late?" "Too late for what?” "Yes, of course I'll hold together, all of us will" But I had a sick feeling in my stomach.
"Don't worry," he said.
Then felt such an overwhelming love inside my soul, a hunger for nearness, absorption, entwinement, and a yearning for heaven that can't be completely satisfied. But one day I will be filled.
With Jesus close and at my side, I thought again of the Armada coming our way and asked him why the Armada was turned towards earth. His answer shocked me.
“You called me, remember”
“No, I don't remember," I started to say but then I did remember. "Yes, I do remember. I remember calling out to you during catholic mass once that we needed you now, here in the twentieth century, that everything was collapsing, rotting, falling apart and that we were in too much pain, I was in pain." Selfish pain that is why I called you. Then I caught myself up short, I realized that a grand Armada of worlds would hardly turn in space and head our way because of one voice calling out in pain. Thousands have screamed their pain throughout history.
“You are growing up,” he answered.
He meant earth was finally growing up, that because our minds could send thoughts out to the stars, we were coming into a new age, that my scream was only the tip of an iceberg, a siren call. Our psyches are waking up, growing new tendrils of thought and intuition.
“You called me while I was on earth too, don’t you remember?” Jesus asked me.
Suddenly I did remember, I remembered screaming my pain down through the centuries. In answer, to my shame, I saw Jesus Christ on the cross. Jesus as painted by the greatest master of all, life. There before me was the real dying Jesus, mouth agape, nose running, dark bluish gray skin, dried caked brown blood and fresh red blood, deep set eyes, wounded eyes, agonized eyes, eyes looking into my soul, his soul into my soul. I couldn’t stand it. I left. I popped out of there as fast as I could.
Guilt and horror drove me away but I had to go back, I had to tell Jesus how much I loved him, how much we all loved him. But I couldn’t go back to the cross; instead, I went to the garden, the garden where Jesus was in agony. [I feel chilled remembering it]
I was still crying and sobbing when I found Jesus. He comforted me. His smile wrapped my soul in warm cotton bedding on a cold night. His sun dried my tears while I gasped and pulled myself together enough to explain who I was. I told him that I was from the future, two thousand years into the future, that people from my time revered him, called him God, prayed to him, loved him deeply, studied and wrote books about him, and wept for him.
“We will never forget what you do for us. We will never stop loving you. But you know this already, don’t you?" I said all this as I hugged and enfolded him with my spirit arms. But even as a man in agony in his last moments, he gave comforting words to me, and said, “I will come when you call.”
When Jesus told me in church, “You called me, I am on my way,” I didn’t know if I could believe his words at that time because I was still floundering in my understanding, belief, and fear. Some fears I have overcome but I still fear; I fear for our nation, “These things must be,” Jesus had told me.
I often wonder if Jesus coming closer makes it easier for him to communicate with us. This idea is probably not true, because Jesus has been communicating with various people down through history, people such as St Catherine of Sienna, St Francis of Assisi, St John of the Cross, and Saint Teresa of Avila. Perhaps Jesus is taking more notice now because the times are right and he knows that he is needed, or perhaps it's true that I called him from the depths of space and his concern for us has called him to the forefront. I don’t know. Most of this book is about questions I don’t know how to answer. I can only keep repeating, “I don’t know” Although, here is something that I do know. Jesus told me that you would receive proof that he has been talking to me. He didn’t tell me what this proof was or when it will be noticed. He just said that it “will happen.” I said at the beginning of this book that I had no proof for what I was about to write; I never expected any. Our tendency towards scientific rational thinking would tare and dissolve any kind of proof into shreds of confetti anyway. So why bother and I told Jesus as much, but he insists. You will see the truth.
Mars Again
I am only speculating but perhaps this proof is on Mars. We went to Mars again last night. This time it was in bright daylight, the sun was so fierce it hurt my eyes. Mars, where we stood, was littered with layers of broken, washed down rock. It was a valley of rock. The air was so clear it made the whitish rocks look sharp and empty, almost empty because Jesus showed me a plant growing between crevasses on the side of the Martian rock. It was a sponge-like plant, brown and dry looking with wrinkles. Straight, straw like branches or tubes were growing from a single horizontal middle stalk or backbone, I say this because the plant disappeared as we watched, I think it crawled away. Though, of course, it could not, or could it? Well, it was gone. All that was left was light yellow-orange ground layered with yellow to white stone ridges. The moment was over so we left. Please don't ask me why I included Mars in the chapter of disaster worlds; somehow I believe it belongs here.
Empty world
Tonight Jesus took me to a strangely beautiful world. Vividly stark and barren, its vast horizon imbued me with quietude and solemnity. This even though a fierce wind was blowing our cloaks with whiplash frenzy. Wind whistling its mournful cry and the billowing clap of our cloaks was the only sound.
“But, it's beautiful,” I said to him.
Jesus agreed with me and just as I thought he was about to include this world as one of the disaster worlds but I shook my head, "please no." So we stood there together, looking out to sea. I didn’t want to know; I preferred to think of this world we stood on as an empty moonscape, a moon without life.
Although, I could see a moon above me in the sky, a sky that was pink with a green, washed-out yellow band floating across its width. The sand at my feet, squeezing between my toes, was a deep maroon, almost black. The sea by which we stood reflected the pink-green sky but a lighter shade standing frozen and still. I wondered if it was a huge flowing sheet of water ice or some other chemical because colossal black rocks floated on the surface. I know this because I watched a rock move relative to where we were standing. Except for the wind, all was soundless; no bird song or chipmunk twitters or other animal calls could be heard. The silence was awesome.
Jesus said to me “give me your hand.” I put my hand in his and we stood leaning against a porous odd shaped rock or perhaps it was a block of rusted metal. As we looked out over the sea, in spite of the wind, it was so restful and peaceful standing there with Jesus. I felt in Jesus, a sense of wistfulness, of longing, or deep attachment for the place where we stood. It made me feel the more entwined with him, more loving, if that were possible.
I liked the odd movement of the rocks, so buoyant and drifting on the water. I watched as they moved across my vision. I couldn’t see Jesus face but I felt my hand enclosed by his and heard his white cloak snapping in the wind with mine. I felt such great love and comfort standing near him even on this expansive, barren world.
Jesus spoke to me of liking the place where we stood. I agreed it was beautiful.
“You will paint it one day, “ he told me.
“I’ll try I promised.
When Jesus told me in September that he would help me write the rest of my book, I was astounded, and overjoyed by his offer. He said he would take me to many new and different worlds, but, of course, I had to do the writing. Delighted, I couldn’t wait to begin, or so I thought, but then weeks went by and I kept putting it off. “It isn’t time,” I kept saying. For some reason I wasn’t ready to go to these new worlds. Jesus agreed with me. “You are not ready yet.”
Usually when we hesitate too long we’re afraid of something, so I began asking myself just what was I afraid of. I’ve dreamed of humans going to other worlds all my life, and here Jesus was giving me a chance to follow my dream and I hesitate. Why?
The truth, when I discovered it, was simple - I was afraid of my own imagination.
How will I be able to tell the difference between my imagination and what you show me? I asked him, “How can I differentiate between truth and fiction?" I’ve read so much Science Fiction, how will I know when I am influenced by what I have read?”
He answered telling me “If you hadn’t read the Science Fiction, you wouldn’t be able to travel.”
In other words, I needed an extensive background in all the permutations possible in order to believe and understand what I was seeing; or, to dare imagine a mind could travel to different worlds. My hope is that this book will give you the background and knowledge to travel too. Speculation by a few scientists has played with the possibility that some authors unwittingly zero in on actual, ongoing realities they believe to be their own invention. Although the author creates the plot of the story, the setting or people may be a real place in time or space. This idea has been brought up by the idea that all things are potentialities waiting to be realized; that somewhere in the universe everything exists. This speculation, if true, would hardly detract from an author’s skill; it’s the writing that tells the tale. In a universe where we are all one, ideas should and probably do flow interchangeably around the world and throughout the universe for anyone who dares to grabs for them. Jesus has told me, almost in these same terms that all things exist, all possibilities are, and that all space is potentialities waiting to happen. The science of quantum mechanics agrees with this view.9 Still, this leaves a huge open question that begs for an answer, if everything is potential and possible, what is real? I find myself back to my original question, "What is truth and what is fiction?"
Of course, the answer is that it is all truth and it is all fiction. So, what is real? What is this stuff we think of as solid, anyway? All objects are mostly space between atoms, we can touch and feel solid objects because the vibration of our space between atoms agrees with the vibration of the object’s space between atoms. We are just space filled with some particles made of energy. Not only that, but the whereabouts of these energy particles can't be exactly pin pointed in space. At the same time, Jesus assures me it is "all real," that all possibilities are realized, that the universe is filled with a potential that is geared towards life, that the purpose of the universe is life. It also follows that the variety of life in the universe, in all its permutations, must be staggering
We’re like fish in a pond who know there must be more to our world than water but, we just can’t define or detect it, we fish can’t imagine the sun-shinny air up above us. Actually, I think the ‘dark matter’ that scientists can’t find is a good candidate for where heaven resides. Dark matter is an unfortunate name, it would be better to have labeled it missing matter, but first names stick. Dark matter, though it makes up 90% of the universe, is undeniable, un-measurable, and un-findable; even so, it exists enough to have gravitation because scientists can measure its pull on stars and galaxies. It is this dark matter, and its eventual detection, that it is supposed, can, “predict the fate of the universe, whether it will keep expanding, stabilize, or collapse of its own mass.10 Dark matter in the universe is an exotic subject but suppose the space between our atoms is made up of dark matter, suppose this dark matter is filled with thought, suppose that God walks between the quantum quirks of an atom.
What throws me for a loop is what God told me once, “Heaven isn't what you think.” Implying, perhaps, that Heaven is “out there” which would make heaven a concrete, solid, reality in space kind of place. This bothers me. If heaven is concrete where does that leave spirituality? The answer must be that heaven is tangible and, at the same time, intangible, definite and numinous, there and not there. It is there all around us, we are just missing it. Perhaps we can’t detect heaven because we don’t have the right radar--our radar is either missing, underdeveloped or neglected. Our psyche is probably that detection system. It may be that when I go to other worlds, I travel through what the scientists have labeled as 'dark matter'.
The other night I went with Jesus to just float among the stars and be alone with him. He showed me many wonders I won’t write about here, except for one that I want to tell you about because I think it will help you see the universe in a new light. Jesus showed me an approximation of the universe from where we were that looked like this: For that instant, universe was a gold filled light instead of a dark background with tiny stars. It had no depth, no twinkles; it looked touchable and solid with stars and planets indented as if they had been hammered out of gold leaf. Strangely, its total essence seemed within view.
Jesus told me later that, "Worlds need darkness."
I imagine he meant that worlds made of matter need darkness to use as a cloak, a rest, as a blind from the light, and to count the seasons. I also got the impression that any one point was just as accessible as any other, that movement through this universe was easy. Why not? In a single, connected, universe, it may be commonplace to mind travel, to share ideas and realities. This ease of spiritual existence is not for us yet, we are too mired in matter, still evolving, still growing, still groping towards heaven.
Even after swimming the byways of heaven, I am still groping towards it. The more I learn the less I know. This uncertainty often causes anxiety instead of peace, the struggle to understand, is often taxing, the effort to live out what I think Jesus wants, over-whelming. These are worry-mountains I have grown and built all by myself, silly I know, but; still, my relationship with Jesus isn’t all sit back and watch the pictures. He keeps asking me to, "Show them the way.” I was in my neighborhood church one Sunday when he said this to me. He stood beside me and said in a gentle voice, “Show them the way.” Jesus has repeated these words to me many times; they keep running through my mind along with my question, “How?”
Jesus does not explain exactly what he means by these words, I can only infer that he means for me to teach people something, but what? What have I learned through the years that could possibly show another person 'the way'? If you knew me, you would wonder too. I know many of you have found 'the way' through your own unique trials and suffering. Perhaps my trials and sufferings can show some other people the way, though, I doubt it. As far as I know, I have only one, solid, worthwhile trait, and that is tenacity, the guts to stay the course with enough stubbornness to keep to the straight path. I only know that through all the suffering, temptations, trials, loneliness, heartbreak, hatefulness, and broken dreams my love for Jesus has remained in tact. This could be the most valid message, the only message that works. Hold firm in your belief and believe he loves you unconditionally. One night I raged at him, “Why don’t you love me, you give to everyone but me!” Jesus tolerated even this rage and when I calmed down, said to me, “You are deeply loved. You are never alone."
Holding to
our belief in God and Jesus seems to be all the advice I
have to give except this book I am writing. If this is what Jesus means by,
“Show them the way,” then I’ll do the best I can by writing it. It may not be
what he meant, but I’ll write it anyway, just in case. One message that I feel is
growing and forming as I write this book is the notion – show them the way home. Home, back into the universe that birthed us, back into
heaven.
Remember I am nothing special; I am not a saint or prophet, even if I do
consider myself to be a mystic. I have done so little for
the world and still owe so much. My small effort in this book is nothing
compared to what many other people are doing:
Will Glennon, for example, who started the Random Acts of Kindness movement, Mother Theresa’s sacrifice throughout her
life for the poor of
Paradoxically-by relating to you my travels with Jesus, off world, I may have brought him back down to earth-re-humanized, our God, Jesus, once again a humble, loving, teacher. By showing you my own closeness to Jesus, you will see how easy it is to become close to him too, if you aren’t already. All he asks is that you join his classroom, join him as his close friend. If you don’t believe me, ask for yourself.
"No one will believe my travels with you," I said to Jesus.
"They will someday," he answered.
I am afraid
that someday may be sooner than I thought. You may be forced, sooner than I
expected by circumstances to believe me. During church today, Jan 24, 1999,
Jesus told me that
“Why did you tell me?” I cried. But I know why he told me, I know why he told me today; it is because I am almost finished writing my book and this information needs to go into the last chapter. He was very specific that I should include this in my book even though I don’t want to write it. I felt shaken and grasped out for hope.
“But, it is also true that God is coming to earth, isn’t it?
“Yes, but much will happen before that time.”
The writing's been on the wall for quite a while - weather disasters, failed economies overseas, bombings in diverse places, global warming, wars and famines—our usual daily news stories. We could bet this grand prosperity in the west won't last forever, a shame because it’s the first time I’ve ever seen prosperity ‘trickle down’ until almost everyone in America has a job.
I admit one of my first thoughts, when Jesus told me, was for myself and family, only my second thought was for the poor of the nation, myself included. It is these people, the people of few means who get hit hardest when disaster strikes, the family that can’t put something aside for a rainy day, single mothers who don’t have a cushion to pad the harsh reality of joblessness, street people who don’t have cloths or other material goods to see them through severe times. It is the children in the third world countries that I worry most about. What if more disaster strikes them? How much worse can it get for them? Yes, I am doubly fearful for the people on the bottom, they always get hit fast, hard and first, and I said as much to Jesus.
"Not this time," He said.
Not this time? Silence for my answer.
Now, that I have reached the near end of the book, I wondered, finally, what it had been about? What was its theme? What did I intend? Cart before the horse, I know, still, it wasn’t until this moment that I realized that my whole book could be summarized with one word - real, real in the sense of true, actual, existing. God is a true, actual, existence, a real being; God’s Kingdom is real, Jesus is real, angels are real, other worlds are real, other people are real, Heaven is real, evil power is real. In other words, it is all really, really out there, yet it is inside too. We really are growing towards God’s Kingdom. Are we also creating a mind set, a psyche that will accept God inside as he arrives outside? I don’t know. I do know that Jesus lives; he is a Citizen of the Universe.
I mentioned in an earlier chapter that God spoke to me saying he wanted to show me something. Just now, September 99, I still do not know what God wants to show me or when he will do so; I decided to share with you as much of the book that I have written so far and when I learn more, I will share that with you too.
Now that I have seen, the whole world is new. I struggled for hours because I didn't know how to explain to you what God has shown me. I was stuck. Then God said to me, "Tell them like it is.” So here goes…
My enemies are gone, vanquished. Those people who were spiteful, hateful, mocking, snobbish, or mean to me are gone. Those people who lied, tapped my phone, spied, or abused me through these many years are gone. Those people who spread rumors, shunned, or avoided me are gone. Not gone as in disappeared, of course, but their sinful barrage against me is stilled, or soon will be. Though a few enemies will always lurk in dark corners waiting to pounce, suddenly the day blue sky shines clear. God had used me as his anvil to reveal what is inside your heart. Your heart is open to God who can read your heart as easily as you read this book. I was so flabbergasted and startled when I realized this that I stood up out of my chair awestruck at God's way of 'showing me something'. What an understatement. I expected to be shown something spectacular, wondrous, and strangely out of this world. Events sometimes take amazing turns, don't they, especially when orchestrated by God. . Don't feel as if I have escaped scot-free. I have also reaped what I sowed, gathered my just deserts, received my portion, and felt the wrath of God's power. Justice has descended on me as well as you. When I said in the introduction that we would learn together, I wasn't kidding or being facetious; "No," I was being very truthful. I still had much to learn Jesus told me a few weeks ago, "Heaven is going to speed up humanity's spiritual growth." This may be a part of that speed-up.
All this has implications far beyond my trite tribulations, it speaks of God's overwhelming power within ourselves and our world, it speaks of God's all-ness and omnipotence. It speaks for God, period. God fills my life and surrounds me with himself.
I learned another little dust-bunny lesson hiding beneath this grand carpet-- money isn't the greatest gift to have acquired in life--God's favor is. God's smile is worth more than any bank vault filled with gold, jewelry, and money. God owns the bank, the vault, the gold, the jewelry, the money and its keepers.
During my audience with God, I was promised, "There will be justice." Lately I see justice beginning to spread open like flowers to the morning dew. I say, "Thank you God," because I finally realize that our world and its inhabitants truly are all God's Show.
I have a few comments and even an
apology concerning Book I but first I want to share with you a surprise Jesus gave me just as I was to
begin these book notes.
Jesus said he was going to take me someplace special. He seemed to smile in secret delight while we moved though the deep black of space and diamond stars. We left the darkness suddenly as though shedding a cloak and entered a lighted area of faint color that brightened as we moved forward.
"I am going to take you inside your painting" Jesus said to me with a smile.
"My painting? Which one?"
"Your universe painting."
"Oh, the one I keep trying to fix. But won't that be sort of fake? I just made the painting up on the computer."
"You'll see."
We continued to advance through a vivid rainbow region of stars toward a mass of bright white stars surrounded by vivid reds and blues and suddenly I recognized my painting in front of me. Billows of red and blue and green flared out from in front of a brilliant central swarm of light. I was delighted and said so as we kept moving forward. My interest was in the details within the bright mass of light, this was where I was having the most trouble with the painting but as we moved further into the area, I became completely blinded by the dazzling reflective, quality of the light.
"Close your eyes and open them again," Jesus instructed me, "You'll be able to see better."
I did as he instructed. The blare now seemed toned down but my confusion didn't lesson. I closed and opened my eyes again but confusion still reined. Everywhere I looked lighted space moved and jumped and twirled. Nothing stayed still. I couldn't seem to grasp or catch anything to hold or steady my vision. Luminous green-yellow-orange lights swam everywhere around, it was as if I was floating on an underwater, bio-luminous stage advertising with neon lights. There were millions of glowing shapes all around, above, beneath me, but it wasn't as if they were swimming or flying but rather growing and stretching in, up, and out in odd contorted billowing movements into giant cages, stripes, twirls, and spirals then suddenly flowing, stretching, and snapping back together again. The neon forms constantly grew and moved against a pale yellow luminous background. One form, in front of where I hovered, was shaped like a giant narrow leaf that had different colors constantly running up to its top. Surly not writing? With all the contorted wiggles and sliding and stretching I didn't know where to feast my eyes next. Petals of light swelled and contracted, rivers of chartreuse goblets streamed around and past, motes twirled and danced. At one point, I thought I saw a checkerboard pattern actually flash into different colors before disappearing. It was too much.
"Can we leave?" I asked Jesus.
Then I was suddenly back sitting in my chair and reeling from the bright afterglow and sense of wonder. I didn't know if I had been on a world or inside a sun.
When I asked Jesus, he told me that it didn't matter because I wouldn't understand anyway. "The answer is both," he said, then added, "This life is unique."
"It pleases you to show off special places in the universe like this, doesn't it?
"Yes." He smiled. "I love you."
His love seemed to wrap around me and it felt so good. I was still perplexed though by the idea of a visit into my painting so I asked him how we could we go inside my painting and at the same time be outside of it.
Jesus laughed. "I looked for an area that resembled the painting you have been working on for your computer program.
"But it was almost identical, I still can't believe it."
"Remember, all things exist."
"I still feel a little amazed, that’s all."
"I promised you a surprise tonight."
"Yes you did."
Pleasure swelled within me as I realized his gift to me. Now I could try to complete my computer painting; although, I knew I could never portray what I had actually seen in so small an area with pixels on a computer screen, but the visit also gave me ideas and new avenues of approach for other paintings. This first surprise from Jesus proved to be only one of many gifts he gave me as I struggled to write this second book. One gift, a most beautiful and important one, I will not describe until the end so you can share in it's promise and hope.
In place of an
introduction, an apology is due you that I wasn't aware of until Jesus told me that I had overstated
his warning to
I do know
that I've grown in maturity and knowledge since I first began to write these books.
Although it may seem to you as if I've leaped suddenly into new avenues because
both books are now put together, but remember they are months apart in
conception and writing. I mention my maturity because I want to explain that it
reaches a
Another interesting fact you may want to be aware of as part of this introduction is that I never talk about my travel experiences with Jesus to anyone, the greatest reason is that no one has asked. At first, I found this extremely odd, I expected a lot of questions about these travel experiences and their validity or, at least, curiosity. Of course, the largest question should be, "Are you really talking to Jesus?" But so far nothing. I have concluded it may be like the subject of sex, too embarrassing for most of us to talk about. Also, my talks with Jesus have an intimate quality that I hold close to my heart. I don't choose to speak about them nonchalantly to just any one. Even now when people talk about trips they have taken on vacation, I don't volunteer the information that I am also taking trips, very far away ones. How would it sound to people if I went around spewing about travels into the universe without also giving a more complete understanding of why and how these travel events occurred. Perhaps the spoken word falls short because we don't have time to sit down and listen well, also, I am not a good orator; so I remain silent but speak loudly on the written page or computer screen. Regardless, as I write about the universe and our place in it I hope you will learn along with me because, believe me, we are both in line to ride on a roller coaster of ideas undreamt before in our reality. Our journey awaits.
I didn't know I was going to write another book. Jesus decided otherwise. I was sitting in the back yard last summer, leaning back in a lounge chair watching the tree leaves sway in the breeze because it was still cool this early in June. I felt as if my first book was a job well done and over with and breathed a contented sigh. In truth I wondered what I would do next with my life and had just started to meditate and expand my thoughts outward when suddenly Jesus spoke and told me that I would write another book. I must have acted dumbfounded because Jesus' next words were, "It is necessary."
My immediate thought was, "But what would I write about?" I speculated that the only reason people read the first book, which I published on the web, was to catch the sparse and cryptic statements of wisdom from Jesus; not for my own views or adventures; so I felt astounded and worried at Jesus request. Perhaps I'd left out something vital but it seemed to me that boredom would grab and quickly dispose of any reader if they had to read another whole book filled with nothing but my popping into and out from one world after another, like a tourist jaunting from country to country. Perhaps such monotony that even Jesus' words couldn't give excitement to.
But Jesus answered my thoughts by saying, "Yes, we will continue to explore the universe together," then added, "I will help you."
I still didn't understand why or what I should put in a whole, new, big book. I remembered the reason Jesus gave me for our original travels, "So you, (humanity), will recognize the worlds when you see them." But humanity is so far from building a vehicle that will carry people to even Mars let alone other worlds that my mind just couldn't fathom how another book would fit in importance. Without doubt, I would write it because that was Jesus wish that I do so. I would write ten books if Jesus asked me to and may. There was something else to consider, during my first writing I realized what a great pleasure it was to write down concepts and ideas. I learned that I liked to write. Now I had a few children's stories and magazine articles swimming around in my head. Without Jesus request and my effort, I might have never found this kind of satisfaction. So, although, Jesus didn't explain to me why another book was necessary, the challenge of writing it was beginning to grab me. His enigmatic smile told me, as if repeating once more the words he has spoken many times, "You will understand one day."
A silly thought flittered through my mind suddenly and I laughed as I said, "You've protected me from danger so many times, are you still going to protect me when the books are done?" I had been joking but Jesus wasn't when he replied, "Your work will not be done."
This quieted me. My thoughts ran to imagining all sorts of scenarios and daydreams of what Jesus meant about my work not being done. What did he mean? Would I finally take that walk around the world I had imagined once so long ago, would I need to give speeches about my travels, I shuddered at that thought. Will I become well known and famous and, after playing with this for a short while, shuddered again and honestly hoped this almost nightmare did not become true. I like the simple life. So I played with ideas and have yet to realize what Jesus will mean.
I worry that my first book, by consolidating twenty years of spiritual experience into less than a hundred pages, may have given a lopsided impression of my travels or a significance that I don't deserve. You'd get the same effect from describing all the big fish you'd caught over a twenty-year period or the many baseballs you'd hit during a lifetime, which might give a false impression of batting ability. Please keep in mind that I am not great or saintly or holy. The opposite would be more true; the whole point of relating these travels and talks with Jesus are that if I can do it, lowly, nothing, me--so can you.[35]
In fact, it might surprise you to know that I am not sweet or soft or sentimental. I have had some hard knocks to overcome in life, most of them of my own doing, with the result that I have grown a thick, tough, outer skin that serves me well. My manner isn't always pleasant, my words are sometimes loud, my thoughts sometimes run to jealously or anger, though when I notice thoughts of this nature, I try to cut them off. One day I felt so ashamed of my angry, hateful thoughts that I needed to ask Jesus to forgive me. I told him as a solution that I always try to say a Hail Mary when ugly thoughts enter my mind.
He laughed and said, "That is the only thing that works."[36]
His implication was that other people use the same method to drive away bad thoughts or words and taunts from the evil one. A sudden memory of nuns wearing dark blue habits and stiff white collars beneath blue headdresses mumbling to themselves and fingering brown, wooden beads as they walked past rows of pretty flowers on the school grounds came to mind. I felt a sudden unity with them, though they must be long gone by now. I also felt joined to the millions of people around the world who are sloughing through ruts of evil and cracks of temptation, sometimes enduring torture and mockery, living unseen, nondescript lives, saying whatever prayers will hold off the evil for just a moment, to keep their mind on a steady keel, to hold to the good side, to cling to their ideal, no matter what. We are a stubborn group.
Many stubborn people have been serving God their whole life, gurus, priests, nuns, teachers, missionaries, preachers, parents, writers, maybe even a few politicians work for heaven now and then. Each of these people in God's army working through their own agenda and purpose, their own agreement about their specific job, their pact with heaven, using their special talent. The complexity of it all amazes me when I try to imagine the vast dissimilarity of people who sow devout seeds around the earth each day. Then add to this each person's life work that is not only necessary, but right, right for whatever religion or belief or system the person holds to be true. Amazing that we all have our own ideas on how to serve God and, yet, each of our actions fit so snugly into serving. I think it can be unfortunate that many of us don't learn until very late in life what our real job is, this job we were born to do.
Fifty years. It took me more than fifty years to finally realize what job I seemed destined to accomplish. I have finally learned that my job is to simply see, to see beyond the ordinary, and then, of course, relate it to you. It is for me to see new worlds in the universe but more commonly to see a spiritual layer that surrounds our earth too, a layer that perhaps surrounds all earths, and of course the presence of Jesus and Mary and angels and…because sometimes I see other strange beings, beings of different sizes and luminosities, just barely detectable in the lamp-lit air. For this I believe I was born, to see, hear, and report. It is a great pleasure but an awesome responsibility and hardship as well, to finally find and accomplish the job you was born into. No matter how difficult the job may be, it still satisfies the soul in a way that no other work can. Probably we all look crazy and weird, those of us who have found our true calling. I sit here, unpaid and un-kept, struggling with a part time job writing while other people are out working and living a full life. I know my family wonders about me; nevertheless, I have to do it. I feel compelled to write what I write for Jesus. And like Jesus said, "It is necessary." Yes, my job is to travel, to see, talk to Jesus, and to bring some outmoded ideas of Jesus up to date. Or does Jesus mean to bring me up to date?
I am well aware that I am not the
only person to speak with Jesus during the last two thousand
years but I was surprised to learn that I am not the first person to have
traveled to other places with him. My research had zero to slim results, at
first, but eventually I found or was led to the right book. I was beginning to
consider it a hopeless cause to find other strange travelers, especially
travelers with Jesus until one day while browsing in a small
branch library in
Maria was a nun in the Franciscan Order, in Aragon,
When the missionaries first arrived in the American West, many of the Indians begged to be baptized right away before they were taught about the religion or instructed in baptisms. They reported having seen a women just like the one whose image the missionaries carried, a nun wearing a Franciscan habit. The friars wrote that they saw miraculous savings and mass healings that they attributed to this mysterious Franciscan nun. Eventually it was learned that that nun was Maria de Agreda. But when people representing the Inquisition came to visit her, although they left declaring her visions truly from Jesus, they must have frightened her because she begged Jesus to stop the spiritual gifts. Jesus did stop taking her on the travels, so they ended three years after they begun, in 1623. Maria was also reported to have levitated and, at times, her face glowed in ecstasy. She is now considered a saint by the Catholic Church.
The article I read about her
referred to a book she wrote which interests me greatly. She said that she
received a divine command to write a book about Mary's life and named it,
"Mystical city of
The only other reference I found with the concept of travel and Jesus in the same article just happened to be in the same small library. It is a modern book based on a specific method of mind travel, although this method of travel is independent of Jesus, the author does eventually talk to him. The book's title is Cosmic Voyages by Courtney Brown, Ph.D. The writer belongs to a group that practices remote viewing in a strict scientific sense as they search for information. Their method is exact, precise and careful; so careful, that they use a double and single blind method and use comparisons of reports by many viewers. Often the viewers do not know where they are going before hand and all visual sights and impressions, without emotions or judgments, are recorded during the travels, which are guided by a monitor.
According to the author, for a short while, the CIA developed and investigated this method in an attempt to see beyond enemy lines. The writer's group "The Monroe Institute" has no military involvement but was an out growth of the knowledge that the CIA had gathered. This group wanted to push further into knowledge the military would only skim over or dismiss, such as unidentified flying objects. In his book Courtney concentrates on visiting a civilization he calls the Grays and a dead Martian civilization, as well as, visiting great thinkers from earth's past. One of these great thinkers is Jesus. I will give further information from Courtney's book in other chapters. For now, I want to quote a direct statement that Courtney wrote in Cosmic Voyage because it applies to my own dilemma when I arrive on a new world with Jesus.
Remote viewing is a lot like being blindfolded and dropped into a foreign city. You take off the blindfold and look around. You have no idea of where you are; yet you notice buildings, people, strange languages and many physical sensations. You may be able to perceive everything but you may not understand anything. While the unconscious mind tries to make the information understandable to the conscious mind, the job is easer if the conscious mind already understands basic concepts related to the viewed data.[38]
When I began reading Cosmic Voyage it looked familiar then Jesus told me while I was reading it that I had read it once years before but forgotten. He added that it was he who caused my forgetfulness because it was the ideas I found in this book that spurred me on to begin writing my own. His implication was that if I had remembered reading about Courtney's remote viewing, I would not have written my first book because I would have been too afraid that it would copy his.[39] As it turned out, the only thing similar about our two books is that we both travel or see beyond the ordinary. The subject matter, theme, and means differ greatly, so I needn't have worried. Regardless, I am thankful that he uses such stringent scientific methods for his own remote viewing; his scientific method gives a validation to mind travel and revote viewing as a true method, and can be used by people who are not spiritual. Our modern society admires and in some respects even worships the scientific method so greatly that many people would refuse to believe anything that science hasn't proven as factual first. If you feel you could relate easer to remote viewing rather than to speaking with Jesus, then by all means, Cosmic Voyage would be a good place to begin.
As you have guessed, Courtney doesn't depend on Jesus for his remote viewing but, surprisingly, his group does meet and talk with Jesus. His comment after talking and speaking to Jesus was, "It took us a while to get over the surprise that Jesus was a friendly personality who did not mind that we approach him for advise in a highly controlled type 4 setting."[40] The statement Jesus gave to Courtney is extremely important to all of us; so important, I will quote it twice in a later chapter.
Of course any statement by Jesus is important but our well being in the near future is of great concern to him. Jesus told me, "Spirituality must be rekindled on earth soon."
These words of Jesus are hard for us to grasp because many people don't yet realize they have a soul, let alone that it should be rekindled. Then, also Jesus' task seems doubly impossible because we humans have a hard time taking a long-term view. We find it hard if not impossible to sacrifice for a future generation who will not be alive until--some day. Imagine how the new Christians two thousand years ago must have felt as they were thrown into the lion’s den, totally ignorant of the importance their death would have on future generations. They had no understanding of how their sacrifice and Jesus’ words would endure through the long centuries. Just as it is hard for us to visualize the why or how of Jesus' words that heaven will “Rekindle spirituality on all of earth.”
I had toyed with the idea of writing
a mystery novel before starting this book but that will need to wait now, the importance
of this book overweighs any mystery novel I could write. Although, and I laugh
at this, Jesus said that my murder mystery novel is, "a
part of it." I don't know what he means; although, he may be referring to
the idea that whatever I write, I am true to myself and my love for him, so in
that sense even a murder mystery may serve as a stand in for his message.
I have worried that this book will cause trouble for many people who read it because of its unorthodox subject matter but then I remember what Jesus said about the people of heaven.[41] He told me heaven is going to "Step up our spiritual growth." Perhaps this means we will face turmoil regarding our long held belief systems. If we stop to think about it, our treasured belief systems more or less show how our cultures have incorporated the words from our great religious thinkers and applied them into our cultural practices throughout the centuries rather than being true to an actual representation of the original leader's ideas. This certainly applies to Jesus. Any religion that can last two thousand years has grown negative connotations as well as positive. During one of our conversations, Jesus made a statement to me to me that I will never forget, He said, "Spiritual growth is always painful." So, all of us had better plan for a few upsets in our belief systems, our cultures, our governments, and our world. Heaven will be busy.
And I must be busy at my own job--writing. If you think that I am not a good representative of Jesus life, you are right. That many other people are more holy or better, you are right again. If you believe this clay is not of good enough quality for Jesus to mold, you are again right, but Jesus needs each one of us to do our part, and this is mine.
When Jesus told me I would write this second book he also told me that we would be going to one specific world most of time, a sister world to earth. I wasn't happy to hear this information, it is difficult enough to visit many different places, but I thought it would be more troublesome to keep visiting the same world, repeatedly, and digging deeper and deeper into its culture, so I asked Jesus why.
"Why take me to another world just to show us their problems? Why not just take me around the earth and point?"
"You can't see yourselves," was his answer.
He's right, of course. In order to see ourselves, we need to step back from our own polluted jungle and let a slice Alice's looking glass reflect, however bizarrely, what runs amiss within our own souls. So let the distortions begin. Almost every chapter in this book will end with a visit to a world I aptly named, Silver World.
Jesus took me to a world tonight that he said we will visit numerous times. He explained that it was a very earth like planet and civilization, so much so, that it could be considered a sister world to earth. The thought of visiting a world so earth-like, comforted me and I felt relaxed as Jesus lead me to the new, misty, green, Shangri-La.
My first impression was silver, silver everywhere; a soft silver light that shimmered like a misty fog with just a faint hint of rainbow beyond the insubstantial curtain. As my eyes quieted and adjusted to the area, I realized that everything looked silvery and wet because it was covered with a thin film of dew. A silver mist covered the whole forest area where we stood. It was obvious that it was a forest even though it wasn't dark and shadowy or sharply defined, as you'd expect in an earth woodland, it smelled damp and earthy but also included a faint tang or odor I couldn't place. My immediate impression was a silvery softness of unreality, of clouds painted on a fuzzy, soft terry cloth towel. Browns and greens predominated but other colors showed up here and there, softened as if by pastel crayons and tinted with a silver fog.
The silver green leaves hung low from light brown branches and Jesus reached over and picked a leaf off one of the trees to show me. It was slightly darker up close, and it was shaped like a fat star, a round center with five protruding tips. He put it into my hand so I could feel its velvety texture. The stem was damp and dribbled a watery sap on my finger when I touched it. Suddenly, I ridiculously wondered about harming the life force of the tree, perhaps because I was on a strange world and who knows what will do harm. But Jesus assured me that it was only a tree and the leaf dropped off in the fall season just as it would on earth.
This started me to thinking about any world we visit and how fragile it could be if you didn't know about the fauna and life ecology. How would you know what could be moved, or picked up or displaced or eaten? The idea opened up new possibilities that I hadn't thought of before and I made a promise to myself to be careful; although, with Jesus as my guide, what harm could I do? What if I were here on my own? Would I be paralyzed by fright, afraid to touch anything? Then I realized that without Jesus next to me I wouldn't be able to interact on a physical level with anything on this or any other world because I wouldn't be solid enough. Does it take his magic to make me real? Does it take his presence for me to be here at all? Perhaps but there are exceptions: places where I have been invited back like Ribbon World. Oh, we'll, questions to hold for later, right now, I was just overjoyed to experience this world's soft, quiet colors.
I knew immediately to call this place Silver World because of its silver mist but also because it shimmered as though through a rainbow hid just around the corner. As I looked around to my right I saw a deeper, chocolate shadow lying on the ground next to mint green bushes and trees. A decaying log. We walked over to get a closer look. The log was lying on top of the ground, its edges decayed and rotting with light green moss and with one tiny red flower rising up from its center like a standing soldier, its tiny golden center protruding from an umbrella of red petals. I wondered at the odds it braved to stand there on its slender silvery stem. It was tiny and looked like a doubled up poppy flower, not much different then the ones sold on every street corner on Veteran's day. The fallen log was covered with a fine coating of silver dew that seemed to make it glow. The little red flower was bright against its silver tinted background. I decided that it must be dry but decided not to touch it to find out. The ground nearby was covered with various shades and shapes of murky growths, some spots were covered with yellow moss and some spots were red but not as red as the flower, most colors blended softly into the green ground cover along the edges. These odd placed colors looked like soft islands amid the green. A few taller and bushier growths were scattered around between the trees and its total impression was of an un-kept and natural fairy garden.
We walked up close to one tree and I put my hand out to feel its bark. It looked just as any tree would and was a dark shade of raw umber up close. The rough bark felt wet to my finger touch and the grooved ridges, running up and down the bark, had moisture between them that was running down in rivulets. I surmised that because objects got darker as we got closer, the silver quality must be caused by the reflection of the silver sky and the damp mist in the air. The mist had a sweet and sour tang to it, a pleasant smell of--perhaps lemon rind. The odor was very faint and I may have picked up on it because lemon scent is a favorite of mine.
The whole area of forest looked like a Romantic painting of the nineteenth century. The clearing had an early spring aura to it, and a feeling of magic wonderment. Jesus told me that this whole world had a misty silvery atmosphere. That the sunlight was seldom intense and a thick cloud cover was normal for most of the world. The dew and dampness that I saw was an integral part of the whole ecology. I looked up at the sky and it was brighter than an overcast day on earth but still silver. I assumed the silver rainbow coloring reflected the quality of sunlight as well.
Then Jesus quickly reached down into the ground cover and pulled up a tiny, long shouted, gray animal with big eyes and a curly tail. It sort of puffed a screech at us, twisted, somersaulted in air, flew to the ground and scampered to the other side of the clearing. Its face and size had been mouse like but its tail was like a squirrel monkey's. I think it was more monkey than mouse but the long nose and large eyes made it look like a miniature Lemur. Its skin had sheen on it as if it had just taken a bath. I laughed at its antics as it somersaulted to get away but amazingly, it had been curious enough to stay near by as we walked around the forest clearing and I thought its two black eyes followed us from underneath the moss even now as we trampled upon its world. This reminded me that we must be visible, that the tiny creature wasn't afraid of two unusual looking strangers said a lot for the little creature’s mentality.
I asked Jesus if we would be visible during all our numerous visits to Silver World and he told me that it would be counter-productive to be visible most of the time but agreed that we might become visible if circumstances warranted it.
We stood a little longer basking in the gentle breeze and eerily lit copse of woods. I loved it. I stood in wonder, holding my breath while waiting for a leprechaun to step out of the bushes. A few small birds did fly high among the trees although I didn't notice any bird songs, perhaps our presence disturbed them or I wasn't listening hard enough. Perhaps the soft contours and quiet, gentle atmosphere dampened their songs. I wondered if perhaps we stood in a barely detectable fog and was curious to see if fog lay all over this world. A small opening beneath the hanging branches seemed alight with a brighter sunshine than where we stood, the color in the distance promised a creamy rainbowed atmosphere.
I very much wanted to go through that opening but Jesus said to wait until one of our next visits. Then he added, "Wait until you see the people of this world. You'll love them.
"Do they look like fairies," I asked, because the forest seemed to invite fairies and butterflies.
"No, " he smiled, "but there are worlds with real fairies living on them."
There wasn't anything to say after that as my imagination played with the image of fairies and other possible delights in a universe so vast that only God could devise it.
Later, that night, I told Jesus that I felt uneasy about the difference between imagination and actual seeing, "What if I see it wrong?"
"You can't see wrong." He told me. He explained that I can't see anything that doesn't exist somewhere in some form or configuration of forms. It all exists but only God can know or see it all at once. God is the universe and only the universe can see its total self.
I went back to Ribbon World tonight. It is so serene and solemn. Jesus said that I didn't need him to go with me when I visit this world. I can understand why, I feel completely at ease for the few minutes I am there. I don't think the other people notice me or if they do, they don't care because it is common that people enter and leave the solemn ritual at all times.
As I got into the rhythm of the spiral and moved in and out, stop by step, I watched a ribbon flow through the arm of the person in front of me. I felt or sensed the person' delight. After a few minutes a blue ribbon flowed through my right cheek, then soon after three more ribbons flowed through me all at the same time. It was a sensation of buzzing lights or as if a prayer clouds had kissed my soul. I felt amazed and honored.
A short time later, I left the line and went to the side where the ground rose up towards the mountains and the green vegetation was thicker. I looked at the whole area once more before leaving. From above, it looked like a clear fish bowl set in the mountain with fat streaming lights floating everywhere in the blue tinged air.
Later Jesus told me that this was one of the most unique and rare places on a world where people lived. He also told me that the ribbon lights sensed that I was from another world and so gathered my whole past as well as information on earth's past and future when they moved through me. This is their joy, these Gods. Everything I knew was now incorporated into them. They would have shared their knowledge and gatherings with me if my ability has been large enough hold the concepts, but it wasn't. The ribbon lights are a part of a larger whole whose nature is unfathomable to us humans and most other people in the universe, but we should remember that earth is unique too.
At home it was late evening and winter white snow lay beneath the street lamps, but where Jesus and I rode a canoe down a narrow southern river the air was menthol green and daybreak was sneaking past the tree tops. Swirls of mist and fog hugged the giant rooted trees that rose above the water while moss hung down from emerald trees meeting together like fingers clasped in prayer. Jesus was talking to me about the countless variety of worlds and cultures in the universe because earlier, I had been reading a fiction novel about a New York Indian tribe in early America, and asked him if there could be Indians living now somewhere on another world. He answered in the affirmative and was telling me about these various life forms and cultures.
I was startled at first, but finally realized that it shouldn't be surprising that an Indian culture could exist someplace in space at the present time. After all, it was only a specific level of culture. A level of tribal culture that most of earth's civilizations lived through at some time or other though with different forms of art and pottery. From what I knew about tribal cultures, they were egalitarian which means they shared their resources with each other on a more equal bases then our modern culture does. An ideal, by the way, that all the great religious thinkers strived for but only a few cultures ever acquired.
Jesus was explaining to me that life is so varied in the universe that I can't begin to fathom its diversity. He has said, "All possible variations exist in God's universe.” I supposed that would be true of cultures too. Sure, why not, tribal cultures with many levels and different forms on other worlds, although, so far, we haven't visited any. This may be because Jesus usually takes me to worlds with a similar level of technology and set of problems, which though earth-like are hard enough to grasp; so, I am content to keep it that way. Jesus had just asked me if there was a specific place I wanted to go and I shook my head. I just wanted to stay here floating down this quiet river on earth with him listening to the waves slap against the canoe. We had been traveling to Silver World almost every night lately; if I get too busy traveling and writing notes, I begin drifting away from the central core of love that holds me to his presence. I have a real fear that I might get so sunk into details, that I'll stop perceiving the mystery. This night I just wanted to reconfirm his presence.
We still had many places to visit he informed me but that there was no hurry, so we continued floating on the emerald river, here and there dappled by the brightening sun through the treetops as if it were beginning to rain gold. I was thinking that this green, earthy wonderland could hold its own against any river on any world I'd seen so far and Jesus agreed with me.
"Earth is a strikingly beautiful world," he said, "Even to people from other planets. People come from other worlds in the universe to observe earth's splendor and beauty." I can easily believe it; although, I speculated there may also be an element of desperation to their visits; they may want a last look and feel before the splendor is gone.
I wonder if my closeness to Jesus has given me a more intimate
awareness of earth's beauty. On an outing with my son and his family to
Harson's
Oh yes, Jesus takes me to visit many interesting, lovely, amazing worlds but none more beautiful than earth. Earth, the blue green marble riding against black velvet space. I fervently pray that we learn how to rescue it because earth is in serious danger. I often wander if the whales and other marine animals already know this.
When I see whales jump out of the water as if to lift themselves up into the sky, I understand their purpose to be a kind of prayer, a communion with the universe, an attempt to thrust themselves up closer to God's realm. Fanciful perhaps, but one night as I watched a PBS program about whales, I replayed these thoughts and wanted to know more about them. I wondered what it would feel like to be near a real whale. I saw Jesus' smile beside me and I was suddenly transported into the deep blue water of the Pacific Ocean, floating near the largest head I could have ever imagined, that of a huge whale. It kept moving so I swam to keep up because I wanted to touch it. For one second, I wanted to be a real, solid, wet, drowning person so I could feel the whale's skin against my fingertips but I had to settle for the near presence of the big king of the deep as it swam past. My arms wouldn't go around even a portion of its girth. Its eye was half as big as I was and seemed to stare at me unblinkingly. I thought and believed at the time that the whale accepted my presence as benign and harmless. This pleased me because I remember one time, more than twenty years ago, when the whales refused to let me share their ocean world.
The day it happened I was feeling so depressed that I wanted to die. My feeling of woe and despair was running so deep that I wanted to bury myself beneath the muddy ooze of the ocean bottom and never come out. I imagined myself diving down into the deep hidden depths, deeper and deeper, down so far it was inky black. I lay there on the bottom in the mud and slit wishing I could dissolve and become morsels for fish to munch. This wasn't to a whale's liking because it lunged at me where I lay. The swirl of water lifted me from my muddy grave and then other whales and porpoises joined the game of joggling me back up to the surface where I belonged. I wasn't welcome. I was startled and shocked by the whale's behavior at the time, probably shocked out of my depression too, though, right now, I can't remember why I was so depressed. My thinking was that since this was all a made-up scenario of wish fulfillment anyway, why and how did it get so far out of my control. Why couldn't I stay on the bottom if I wanted to? Regardless, I learned a lesson about whale etiquette and never tried to visit again. I felt rejected for a long while afterward.
Now that I am able to look back through new glasses and a sense of wonder, I ask myself if that event could be based on reality, a reality that I am only now beginning to re-find. Now that I am traveling the universe with Jesus I can ask if I also traveled beneath the sea that long ago day. Maybe I didn't make it up after all. But what pleases me the most is that the whales no longer reject my presence. I didn't carry melancholy thoughts into their deep realm this time around, just a sense of fun and adventure. I felt pleased and welcome.
Later thinking about the size of the whale's head and brain I realized, like others before me, that a whale might be vastly more psychic then us humans. We humans tend to think of ourselves as supreme because of our technology but; instead, it could be our technology that holds us back from knowing our own psyches or souls. The whales could have beaten us to it. In our arrogance, we believe that our intelligence is enhanced by technology but what if our technology is children's toys to the huge mind of a whale, signaling a low stage in development they may have long ago surpassed or skipped? To the huge whales we may look silly with our busyness while they spend their own time thinking thoughts beyond our ken. They could be conversing with each other mind to mind or talking to the universe, or…
While were on the subject, why not elephants too, with their large brains, they could also be psychic. I wonder. We know some dogs and cats are psychic. Could we be missing a whole range of animal behavior because of our own haughtiness? I have listened to mice scamper in the kitchen then when I hold still waiting, they suddenly stop their movement and become quiet too, as if listening to me listening to them. Try it sometime for yourself, see if they don't become quiet while you listen.
I'll never forget when I took my young children to the Detroit Zoo, and saw the huge, old great ape sitting on the cement floor in its small cage. As our eyes met, our psyches joined for a single moment. I shuddered in horror at its circumstance and couldn't look away. I felt a sudden intense pity for the deprived state of this intelligent gorilla. It seemed so pained with sorrow and boredom that I felt mesmerized by its horrible fate. Finally, I could turn away, but I could never forget. Years later, I read in the newspaper that this same gorilla was moved to a new humane, environment away from the zoo. Evidently I hadn't been the only person to recognize its deep pain and anguish.
Many animals are more intelligent than we give them credit for. I had the weirdest thought while watching "Thinking Animals: Part I" on television. I had the peculiar notion that the dolphins who were jumping through our hoops and playing hop-scotch while being studied and photographed were actually acting out, on a rudimentary level, a ritual sacrifice--that they were sacrificing themselves for a cause--the cause of teaching us humans that they are worthy of respect. Ironic if we humans are the ones in school.
Yes and we have much more to learn in that school for it is not only the biologically living earth with its whales and trees and monkeys and humans that is extraordinary but its surrounding outer planets and moons as well. They are just as exquisitely unique as earth.
Early this year I read an article about Jupiter's moon, Europa and told Jesus I would love to go there, "But not as a visit to write notes about, just to go."
He agreed and suddenly we were both standing on a flat, bumpy, black and steel gray surface next to a deep crevasse. Thin silver lines and small upheavals radiated around us. The sky was black but I didn't really notice because I was more interested in the mountains outlined and framed by light in the distance. We stood there a minute taking in the eerie coldness and beauty of the scene.
"But where's Jupiter?
"Turn around," Jesus told me.
I turned.
"Oh my God." What a sight. Jupiter wasn't a ball in the sky. It was the sky. It was hanging on top of us, a swirling, speckled, awesome majestic God of a world. It was enormous. Its colors were not as sharp as I would have expected this close up, whatever the features were showing through the thousand of deep layers looked hazy as they moved and turned. Looking into this firmament was like looking into God's eye, an endless ocean of mirrors. I was enthralled. It must be incubating a virtual fount of life.
"Yes, a diversity of life. Life too strange for you to grasp," He added that he may be able to take me there some day but not at present. And I suddenly, for an instant, thought I saw an image of a smoky, giant worm haloed against a swirling current of darker smoke and I shuddered and agreed with Jesus. Really it was all too much for me to take in, even on this simple, cold, hard surface.
Later I asked Jesus about the mountains I had seen, I thought it was strange to see such large mountains on a moon. He explained to me that those hadn't been mountains but asteroids and other moons. I felt stunned by my own stupidly, at not recognizing the obvious. It was beginning to sink in that even though I am finally getting used to traveling to far places in the universe, the grandeur in our own back yard is enough for many lifetimes of wonder. I am sure that life beneath the ocean crust of Europa would be too strange for me to grasp as well. I hope our scientists never send a probe to stick its claws down below the crust. We do not have the right to contaminate or destroy life on any other world. The probe we sent to Mars was going to execute and annihilate life at the same time that it tested for life's presence just so scientists could study its composition. That is not allowed. We can look but not kill. I couldn't believe this when I read it in the newspapers, the fact that we would destroy life on another planet. Precious, precious life. I felt very strongly against the Mars probe when I learned of its attempt to analyze by destructive heat any microbes it might find. Even microorganisms have the right to life. On our own world, it is part of our ecosystem, a part of the balance of life that we kill microorganisms every day as protection or by washing our hands. How could we not? But other worlds have their own balance and we do not have the right to disturb that balance, do we?
Maturity is the first step to the stars and an understanding of the value of all life.
Jesus said, "You can put this visit to Europa in your book if you like."
I wasn't sure if I wanted to at first, but on reflection, I realized that Jesus wanted me to include it so I could explain that killing life on other worlds is prohibited. An idea we should take to heart on earth as well.
Jesus took me back to Silver World tonight, to the same wooded clearing we left on the last visit. After standing for a moment, as I gathered my mental bearings, we began walking through the woods. I was anxious to see what the people looked like, I couldn't get it out of my head that they would be fairies. Jesus said we were on our way to see them now.
The woods were not unlike earth woods but were swirled by mist and silver drops that trickled down the trunks and fell off low hanging branches. The dew covered everything turning the soft greens and browns into softer and lighter tints. The skylight seeping though the scattering of treetops still gave a silver tone to everything below. The trees tunneled us as we walked because they were sparse and far apart enough that the branches hung low enough above our heads to touch. Only a few branches stood in my way, though Jesus bowed his head a number of times.
I noticed that the ground was spongy with dead growth and bumpy in places. I began to notice more color, red birds and blue flew through the treetops and some tiny animals kept jumping from branch to branch above us as we walked. Soft tweets and twittering followed us as. The soft day shadows kept changing in the light from gray silver to brown or greenish silver. Flowers grew here and there, not a profusion of flowers, but their sharper colors stood out against the varied silvery forest tones. It was still a fairy forest of delights and I couldn't get used to its loveliness.
We entered another clearing, this one three times as large. About twenty people were in this clearing, stooped down and gathered around in a large circle. As they squatted, they held to each other with their arms so entwined I could hardly tell where one left off and another person began. Their legs and arms seemed integral to this type of pose, the entwined legs and arms made a zigzag pattern around the circle.
One person from the circle's middle, right across from us, was standing up. Oh how this person gleamed and rippled, its body a reflection of the soft light and silver shadows that beamed down from the sky. The person's body was outlined in silver with small clear veined butterfly or dragonfly wings that undulated in changing rainbows. The whole person was a rainbow and truly awesome in its beauty.
Like the forest, none of the colors on the person was sharp, only soft and shimmery, almost as translucent as silvered glass and just as hard to see in detail. As the person stood and spoke in a singing voice, its milk-glass body changed colors. When the person moved arms up and down, both wings moved too, the whole body and wings reflected the green trees, the browns of the bark, and the silver of the sky. I was glad that I was invisible because I would have looked bad, standing there with my mouth open, staring. I couldn't take my eyes off this silver bird-like being gilding, throwing its mane too and fro, as if to jump across the moon like a mythic unicorn. Jesus was right, these people weren’t fairies, but exquisite orchids floating against a forest sky.
The leader swayed and moved his gossamer wings (or membranes as I later learned) in different poses and gestures, like we would use our hands to add meaning to our spoken words. His long, silver hair disappeared into the foliage green and sky as its head swayed in singsong talk, its style oddly gathered up on top of his head and then left to free flow in conjunction with the whispering trees. His rainbow body reflected and basked in the life of the forest; birds seemed to glide across its face while flowers grew and waved through its arms. The person's chest was covered in a soft woven green cloth, the only part of its body that wasn't a reflection of some other life amid the wooded green, the only part that I could actually see. Though narrow in structure and tall, he looked to be shaped like any earth normal human. The other people stood now, and I noticed that they also wore short tunics made of soft forest colors. My eyes were getting weary of trying to make sense of the soft flashing images that kept floating and gliding off the people and speaker who seemed to be getting agitated and louder.
It was too much, too beautiful, too
moving, it was time to leave.
Later Jesus told me that even though the people have wings, they no longer use them to fly but glide. Gliding is their favorite pastime. He reminded me that earth people don't climb trees anymore for the same reason people on Silver World don't fly. I couldn't imagine evolution turning people away from a propensity for flight. It seems like one trait that evolution should have left well enough alone.
Jesus told me earlier today, "The chance of saving earth is very slight." He didn't tell me what it is we on earth are doing wrong because he also told me, "It wouldn't do any good." He probably means that the message would fall on deaf ears, that we would still hit the freeway for long hours of commuting for work and play, still shop to exhaustion, still buy more and more cars, clothing, and other what-knots. In other words whatever we are doing wrong, we would keep on doing-regardless.
Remember the movies, Terminator I and II, where Arnold Schwarzenegger goes into the past to prevent the earth from being nuked. Under the circumstances, any and all means to stop the bomb was legitimate because everyone was going to die anyway, very soon and very horribly. Earth was about to be burnt to a crisp unless the hero could prevent it. Of course, that was only a movie, a fiction dreamed up by a Science Fiction writer. But maybe Jesus and the people of heaven are trying to prevent a similar disaster in our future. I don't know exactly what it is they are trying to prevent at this point, but I do know it is not a fiction or movie. It may not be nuclear, it may be some other form of calamity; one that we can't see yet. I mentioned the Terminator movies to re-state the obvious that if Schwarzenegger had traveled back in time just to talk to people and tell them what was about to happen to the world, do you think anyone would have listened? Neither will we listen. No, the only way heaven can prevent earth's coming disaster is change the venue, change the culture that will set it loose, change the society that would stop enlightenment, change the group who's power prevents change, change the status-quo, change us--somehow.
A statement
Jesus has repeated again and again to me is, "We
are going to speed up your spiritual growth." He isn't referring to my
personal spiritual growth, although I am included, or only
Jesus didn’t elaborate to me on how heaven is going to accomplish this goal. But if you were a highly evolved group of beings looking down on our world, how would you go about changing it? I am not highly evolved but my guess is that one tool is to introduce strange events or anomalies that will wake people up in some way. Perhaps anomalies such as strange physical or social events that we can't decipher immediately, events that puzzle us into new areas of thinking, pushing us into new pathways that stir up preconceived convictions and beliefs, like a sudden stone falling into a still pond. At the very least, a series of odd happenings that trigger us to stand up, rise to the surface, and shout. This all brings to mind the little Cuban boy, Elian, I wonder if he is one of these anomalies whipped-up by heaven.
Only heaven could have planned the many symbolisms that surround Elian: One small six year old child, suddenly motherless, drifting alone on an inner tube in shark infested waters, riding toward a country that boasts about its great freedom, saved and rescued on Thanksgiving day, 1999, the ultimate day of freedom at the turning of a new era. Neither storms nor sharks could be allowed to finish what his drowned mother began-the push towards freedom for her son. He is called "The miracle child" or "A little angel," by the exiled Cubans living in Little Havana, Florida because their intuition tells them that Elian is a gift from God. "Elian reportedly told the two fisherman who rescued him that dolphins saved him from sharks."[42] Elian named his new puppy, Dolphin
Unfortunately, roots of hate still
run deep in Little Havana, the
Throughout these many months
Elian's legal status has been seesawing between his staying in
Elian's story has turned into an icon, a modern day myth and serves as a first-rate example what a real myth is not, a myth is not a made up story. The real definition of myth as found in the Oxford Dictionary of World Religions:
But while myths may be both intended and understood as factual, it is clear that more often they are stories which point to truths of a kind that cannot be told in other ways, and which are not disturbed if the apparent 'facts' of the supposed case are shown to be otherwise…Myth endures because it engages human attention at the extremes of terror and delight; and also because it illuminates, and is illuminated by, *ritual.[43]
Myth is universal and common to all peoples everywhere. Also myth is not a falsehood but may seem to be so because myth goes beyond the explainable. On a personal level, I am beginning to learn that myths can be more 'true' than our usual supply of information and I am coming to the conclusion that it is myths that keep society moving, not realities and established truths. Myths are more potent than fact, and in this regard, Jesus can be considered a myth. But some people use myth in a derogatory sense. They would have us suppose, that the Epistles are different from the man Jesus, that Jesus' life is exaggerated, that the facts from the New Testament don't add up, therefore, we are wrong to believe in them because they are only myth.
Why should they add up and what
difference would it make if they didn't, although, I believe they do? Some
writers have a very small opinion of mankind, they tend to reduce our humanness
to only body and brain and then weigh everything against this absurdity. This
attitude adhered to by countless people is wrong. We are much more than brains
walking around on a stick. All great thinkers admit that our humanness includes
an ethereal essence that goes beyond mere matter. Even eminent scientists and physicists will agree to
this though they may not be able to define what this essence is. But ask any
mystic, monk, guru, sage, holy-man, or deeply religious
person what this essence is and they may be able to tell you. If Mother Theresa
of
It is our job, our mission in this perplexing and modern time to search out this essence and learn its nature for ourselves. We have the obligation to learn of this essence, to become a part of it, to grow into it, to transcend our bodies and experience its universality. To do this, we need to use more than our bodies and brains, we need to use our minds, our intuition, our feelings, our psyches, and our souls.
Jesus continues to live on as myth precisely because he was born as a mere man, who with only this indefinable essence at his disposal, grew into a superman who could defy life and death. Or if you prefer, he became one of the most highly evolved beings the world has ever known. Jesus essence will continue as one of our greatest myths, and it would be a mistake to mix up the man between the pages of reality because we find it hard to distinguish the one from the other. His value to us as a man is-unbounded. That he sweated, slept, ate, cried, laughed, loved and angered is important but not as essential as the fact of his holy spirit's availability to us through time. This Holy Spirit has been teaching us throughout the years. This myth is real.
Heaven uses the strength of myth to teach us because they know what drives and pushes us through life, and it turns out to be our beliefs, not our facts. The image of hope that flows around inside our minds is more valuable than what we call reality. Memories of green grass during childhood is more vivid than the green grass we see today. We all know that religions are based on myths, the myth of prophets, and saints, and gurus, and heroes, and gods, and golden isles. Myths, and yet we follow and treasure and fight for these religious beliefs because we instinctively know them to be true, even if on a level we don't understand. On the level of logic alone, it might be impossible to join and gather all the religions into one; on the level of myth, spirit, and the holy, there is only one possible religion and we are all joined into its oneness.
Myths have great value to us humans. Creation myths are universal around the globe. In the west the Adam and Eve myth is still so prevalent that it can be used in cartoons. Historical myths like King Author and the Knights of the Round Table can still draws crowds to view armor and swards. Robin Hood is a never dying myth loved by young and old and was the base for countless movies. Noah's flood went around the world, although the names of the participants were changed. It was useful for the leaders in the Middle Ages to keep the myth of purgatory and hell going in the mind of sinners. Yes, myths and their usefulness abound in all our cultures. On a more modern level, the Kennedy myth of Camelot is one that we can all relate to.
Then there is the myth of the
flying saucer, a myth that has lived with
humans as long as we can remember as leprechauns, fairies,
elves and other visitors to earth. It's usefulness as myth may be one reason why we haven't seen a
real, solid, extra-terrestrial land on the White House lawn and say, "Take
me to your leader." Alien as myth is much more potent and long lasting
than alien as fact. If an extra-terrestrial became a fact on front page news
one day, it would be usurped the by short skirts or a football game the next
because many people's short term interest only wants to include what is
happening now; what is bigger, what is best, or new or most exciting and of
course, its monetary worth. Our urge towards
While watching a program that speculated about, "Life Beyond Earth." [44] I was thinking about these various aspects of the subject and felt proud to be an ambassador to the stars even if I am the only person to perceive myself as such, when suddenly Jesus smiled and one of the people I had met on Tree World stepped into my living room. He wasn't a solid person; more like a 3-diminsional movie persona or hologram until he reached out and touched my hand with his. His hand was sheet white with tissue thin skin wrinkles in odd places. He looked at me full in the face as I sat dumbfounded before he disappeared again. If it hadn't been for Jesus' smile beforehand, I might not have believed what I was seeing.
I felt so proud to see a being from another planet walk into my living room, and had no prior conception that people I had once visited could turn the tables by turning around and visiting earth. Was my visit to Tree World instrumental to this person's visit, or do highly evolved people visit earth all the time?
I think it helps when we attempt to travel to first know that the civilization exists, that people are home, so to speak. Now that the person from Tree World knows we exist, he may visit us more often. He will want to look at our culture, how we raise our young, support ourselves, travel, worship, work and play just as I have looked at their culture. What will he find? Perhaps it will be as hard for him to grasp the many intricacies and variations as it was for me, but hopefully our best values will stand out, not our worst. Regardless, let's get ready for these mythic visitors. They may enter your living room some day too.
They may or may not arrive in flying saucers, but they are coming and we are continually learning of their possible existence. The general population has been learning to look up and search the sky since the first UFO's in the early fifties and this helps us see ourselves as being only a small part of the vast universe. By recognizing that our earth is a spaceship that encloses and protects us, we can consolidate and homogenize all earth humans into a single group living and breathing beneath the same shell of sky. Instead of separate nations of Russians, Chinese, or Americans, we will begin believing ourselves to be humans. Earthlings in common, earthlings who share a single myth--earth. This will move us one more step forward to an awareness of our oneness in the universe.
It is vital that we do so. Everyone may need to get off earth within the next 300 or 3000 years, I can't be more definite because Jesus refuses to state any specific time frame. I don't wish to throw out idealistic, unworkable ideas and I never thought I'd need to write a doomsday book, especially one without a clear cut solution because I abhor books of that nature but here I am writing one. I believe in its importance because the ordained events are birthing now, in our lifetime. The cusp exists at this time, the beginning of the twenty-first century, and the fate of the earth has fallen onto our laps. Earth is at a pivot-point and our actions for the next ten to hundred years will swim or sink it. This is hard to grasp, I know, and it is just a small indication of what will be in later chapters about the coming problem. At this point I am only guessing at the possible scenarios but Jesus knows and sees the whole picture. He has stated to me, "I will help." For my own part, as I write of these problems, I'll try not to get too dramatic. When I think about earth's future, I get frightened. Jesus looked at me with a bittersweet smile and nodded as if to agree that I should be frightened.
We had a conversation about Silver World before I went back for a visit. Jesus wanted to give me more background information about the people and their world. He also explained that we must remain invisible because these people's mindset wasn't much further evolved from our own. If they saw us they would be frightened or in denial. One difference between us is their greater technological ability to travel to their moon. I thought this odd because their sky is so overcast that the sky must have always been strange to them but perhaps this spurred them on towards greater adventure in space flight or the impetuous may have been their gliding ability. I don't know.
As far as their civilization goes, he told me that their suburbs are laid out differently than ours, in clusters or groups with small copses of forest as dividing areas between regions. The people have just recently added brighter colors to their clothing and this was a big change in development for them. He said their complex, modern era has ushered in much sharper colors and brighter designs that at any time in their past. Their commerce is much the same as ours and he will take me to see some of their industry later. He told me that in some areas these people have as much to learn as earth people do, if not more. He asked me to remember also, that they are not as diverse as earth's nations or as complex, that their evolution, like on most of the worlds we visit, has been less fragmentized than earth's.
"Is this because we had more separate continents?"
"No, there have been other issues that added to earth's complexity."
"I am not sure I will be able to take in so much information about a single world."
"Yes, you will. You'll see." Then he added, "I have specific reasons for taking you to Silver World. Reasons that will come to light as we visit different areas and events."
I hope you, the reader, understand now what I meant when I said you would learn right along with me. I have no idea what Jesus intends or why.
Silver World Again
Tonight, at my request, we went back again to the original forest clearing on Silver World because I still wanted to walk towards the cream colored rainbow that I saw shimmering in the distance on my first visit. We had to bend beneath overhanging tree limbs and leaves before we stepped out of the clearing. The light was slightly brighter but other than that, it held few surprises. The forest gave way to rolling yellow and green hills that held sway to the same aura of silver mist and silver sky inside the forest but it all seemed brighter because of the larger view.
It was like an overcast day on any farm or countryside on earth with early morning dew still on the ground, the atmosphere felt slightly dryer then within the enclosed forest canopy but still misty and damp. We walked down a meandering dirt path lined with the forest on one side and open fields on the other. Possibly some of these were planted gardens. Light green grass with tiny flowers grew in tuffs and clusters on the side of the path amid larger bushes further in towards the woods. I wondered if the grass was kept short by some means or if it grew that way. We turned to our right along the forest line and with the forest behind us, we entered what Jesus told me was a typical suburb. A ribbon of dark pavement began as the dirt path we had been walking on ended.
The houses were small and set in short rows, maybe five or six to a row. They looked to be made of wood and single story. To my eye, they looked like playschool houses because all the windows and doors had large trim around them. The trim was about one or two feet wide and curved into soft edges. The house I looked at close had light green trim and cream plaster color on its sides. The roof was flat in front but bent down in the back.
Jesus repeated what he had told me a few times before, "This is a sister world to earth."
I had to agree. Except for a few stylish decorations and the silver mist that softened all the contours, it could look like earth. The only harsh edge was the roofline in front of the house. The edges on the dark road were softened by short green grass that grew up to the pavement. One or two people walked around near the homes. One person left the front of a house and got into a vehicle and rolled away. The vehicle didn't seem to be made of metal but some lighter material and it had a large leaf roof that folded down like glide wings.
The two or three people I saw looked the same as the people in the forest except they wore longer clothing that also covered their arms and legs. Their skin and hair was different shades of silver or white transparency, a milk glass kind of silver. These people were so beautiful I didn't think I could ever get used to them. It almost seemed an affront to cover up and hide their bodies beneath so much clothing especially since the weather was temperate and mild.
When I spoke these thoughts to Jesus he said, "Some people that visit earth feel the same way about your clothing."
Interesting but dumb. We'd all look so funny with our fat bellies and butts hanging out without support. Oh horrors what photos for an ET. Let's all keep our cloths on.
As we walked I began to notice little items that stood out as different then what I had seen in the forest. The colors of clothing the people wore were still soft and forest-like but the dewish, watery look had disappeared. The houses didn't look wet and neither did the grass and road. I wondered why not. But I could see wood grain in the trim and assumed that they built with lumber just as we do.
Jesus explained to me that much of their culture was still very dependent on their forests for industry but were also used for religious ritual. Their forests are more important to them than our parks to us because they served a different purpose. He then added the statement that the forests were dying all over their world. He didn't explain why just yet but I assumed that they had the same type of problems we do with over population and technology. He did say that our next visit would be to one of their many cities.
This night, August 7, 1999, we went on a short visit to a rock in space. We arrived in deep space on a jagged, rocky surface. It was lit in a brilliant orange red light with deep shadows outlined everywhere. We walked to a small hole in the rock and climbed down a ladder.
The first room I saw was filled with bawdy, loud men, yelling and laughing and playing. It must have been a party. We only stayed in this first room a few seconds, the next room we entered, we didn't walk but just arrived, was a profuse jungle filled with strands of green stuff and other colored leaves flowing all around. A riot of greens and reds and blues all growing in every direction as tall as the rock ceiling. Some plants were attached to the ceiling and crawling or growing out of it.
Jesus showed me strange plants that looked to be producing gemstones. Many of the plants were twisted and growing into various designs, twirling and curled and wrapped around each other. Jesus said they are turned and positioned into the different designs. Some plants were hanging sideways and upside down floating free, there wasn't an up or down. The room was in free fall.
Jesus told me it was predominantly a mining colony near a red star as we floated back to the main room. I didn't see any children about, and agreed it probably wasn't a place for families. The men I seen looked to be normal humans but small which could be a requirement for employment? As the undersized men shouted and drank, they floated in different positions, which gave the room a circus atmosphere. Jesus said that these men partied when they weren't working because they were stuck here in space for long periods and mining was hard work.
But then, Jesus reaffirmed the value and pleasure of all life by declaring that the life these men lived as beautiful even though it was full of hardships. He wanted me to see that even though these men were rowdy, unlearned, unreligious, and at a bottom class level, they celebrated each day as if it were their last, and in fact, it could be. They worked hard and fast, they played even harder and faster but Jesus loved and treasured them just the same.
He said to me, "We shouldn't be critical of other people."
I didn't know if I had been criticizing people and looking down at them or if it was an important message for everyone. Regardless, I will try and listen to his advise. But what of people who hurt other people? What if these men enslaved women or raped them? Then how should you think of them?
He agreed that some people cause pain to others. "Only an ignorant person would destroy or hurt another life form. Only a child would look on another person as less than treasured and valuable. Every and all life is valuable." He told me to write these words down in the hopes that you and I would keep them in our hearts.
"But what about pain." I asked him. "What about my pain?" I have cried and dreamed and begged for a lover/companion for years. What about my pain and loss and hurt? How can life be great when you’re in extreme pain? Is it that our soul needs the pain, the experience? The soul can suck in pain? I can't stand it, I am so lonely. Doesn't my soul care? Don't you?
It seems to me that evil rolls over my life in waves, as if some malevolent mind takes notice of my direction once in a while then turns my dreams into pudding and my desperate emotions to charcoal until the malevolent mind happens to turn in another direction.
Jesus has not answered my cry except to tell me that evil really is desperate and hungry for souls at this time. I thought evil almost got hold of mine today but I gulped down my fears and persevered one more time.
Jesus said that heaven intends to
speed up our spiritual growth and transformation into higher spiritual beings
but some people pose the question, "Why be spiritual at all?" I know
I have asked that question and the thousands of Chinese people who choose to
belong to the Falon Gong might be desperately asking themselves that same
question as their government throws them into prison. Currently they are being
persecuted because they made this choice of spiritual faith, they are now
deprived of freedom and subject to mental abuse or even physical torture
because they choose to follow their consciousness and their right to meditate.
I have always thought of spirituality as a feeling or attitude of faith but I have finally learned that it is much more. Jesus smiles as I write this. Spirituality is the ability to know yourself as spirit and move within it and say, "I am spirit." Spirituality means being in touch with your own soul. I have learned to touch my soul by traveling with Jesus. Unfortunately this new spiritual outlook has given me poverty, loneliness, plus more enemies then I can count, and since I have never did anything or said anything to justify anyone's hate, I can't help wondering how and why I acquired all these enemies. I have often asked myself if evolving into a higher spiritual person is worth it? I've had second thoughts, believe me, but for some reason, I usually conclude that the other extreme would be even more horrifying because it would be stagnation or mind death. This would be worse to me than a room full of cornered rats, so I push on against the tide, twisting in freedoms path, gulping in new corners of mind, commanding my spirit to speak, propping the door open on my unrelenting need to know more of my spiritual relationship with God.
Jesus said, "Once you have it, you won't loose it."
"But I've paid such a steep price for mine."
"Everyone does," he explained, "It must be." He added that spirituality is how we expand ourselves and, "It is always painful."
Painful or not, I see a furtive spiritual growth everywhere I look. Many diverse groups are groping towards the same goal I am. Even newspapers, which are very secular, are reporting more spiritual events and mystical beliefs then they once did. Newspapers tend to be less sensational conveyers of news than television; therefore, beliefs and mystical events that make it into the newspapers can reflect what is happening on a larger scale elsewhere. Recently I read about groups of Pentecostal believers who were finding gold in their teeth. Naturally this was also debunked by the same news media reporting it, especially because it seems a silly way for God to show his face, but a few gold flecks are real. God told me that some instances are actually true if only because the Pentecostal people believe in it so deeply and strongly. Perhaps God's words are a message to us all to just believe, never mind worrying about it making sense. That may be our problem that we need to be sensible and rational. I have already mentioned Elian who some people in Little Havana Miami call Moses. Also there are the Child Twins, only twelve years old, who lead the Karen Minority Army "Gods Army" it is called. They battle against the Myannor military. I have never heard of either of these places before I read the news article. What caught my eye is the mystery. It seems that the fighting solders see ghosts when they try to shoot and aim at the Twins army. Most of us would quickly file this as another silly superstition and forget it because it doesn't make sense. When did we become so afraid of things out of the ordinary? Why be afraid to look around corners? Is it because we have been taken in by charlatans before and don't want to be embarrassed again? I think this is true in my own personal thinking. It can be easer to see facts, safer. There was a photo in the paper showing the little boys smoking and standing barefoot, looking for all the world like ghetto kings. I expect we are going to hear more of the child twins who lead this army because my intuition told me to hold on to the newspaper clipping, I may need to refer to it again one day.
Heaven is
taking a more active roll in the world and needs to. People are crying out for
spiritual help not only on a personal level, the realization that something
more is needed is evidencing itself in larger groups as well. This trend
towards greater spirituality may not show up for a long
while except where counting is easy but I have heard that all the religions are
increasing their numbers, and that the Catholic Church is definitely growing
around the world. We are all beginning to feel a desperate need for change, we
feel that something is lacking that needs to be put back. We all wonder and
fear at the extant of the Taliban's cruelty,
There are thousands, perhaps millions of people out there working for God. Not only preaching, and living by example but teaching in other ways, books magazine articles, churches, institutions and other organizations. All a vast hoard of people pushing for the good of humanity, pushing for change. And I think heaven is now asking all these people to push harder, move faster, and scream louder.
We are not alone in this struggle
to reach spiritual perfection. Heaven, the angels with Jesus and Mary are constantly trying to help
us grow and always have. As I read into our past searching for information I
see heaven's influence all through our literature. Sometimes it seems no more than
heaven smiling down with favor on works that get our juices rolling but at
other times heaven seems to kick us in the rear as we move up a whole step.
Plays in the early centuries about the war between angels and the devil,
Paradise Lost by
I am convinced that in these modern times heaven guides us by influencing shows like Star Trek. Shows that tease us to look outward yet hold to ideals of togetherness. Perhaps you never thought of it that way but the Star Trek Federation can help us prepare for visible angels and real aliens. Heaven may have encouraged its long playing run on television. There are many entertainment shows that show a trend towards our acceptance of space, aliens, ghosts, sub-space, other worlds, psyche phenomena, special gifts, mental telepathy. You could argue that the time was just ripe for these ideas but I think heaven helps create the right time, that it is heaven's influence that is constantly pushing against the force of self-interest and spiritual apathy that evil would have us wallow in. Our souls cannot be lost; therefore, heaven must win, and will. But how to know which thoughts to follow, which path in which to cling?
One of my favorite poets, William Blake, said, "All deities reside in the human breast, and no element of the psyche is wholly good or evil. True evil arises from lack of integration of the psyche elements, true good from the balance, union, and integration of the opposites." He was referring to opposites like love/hatred, passive/active, reason/energy, yin/yang, peace/war. It would seem nothing human is pure; the psyche always has its dark side as well as light. We are fated to be forever on edge, choosing one side or the other.
I have noticed this myself, that if Jesus is inside me, evil resides there as well. The evil inside my psyche can speak with a voice just as vividly as Christ's, but, thankfully, I have learned its character is noticeably flawed. This overriding flaw is detectable most of the time but not always. I have been taken in by evil more times than I can ever count, just as most of us have. It is usually when I have been busy and away from Jesus' nearness, when I feel hurt and neglected, or needy that evil has the louder voice. Being on the side of love and spirituality isn't so easy as just wanting to be right, it takes a conscious effort to keep yourself on this side of the street. When I need to, I shrink this evil inside me by imagining it reduced to nothing more than a squealing little mouse chattering at my feet. The battle is constant and seems quite intense at times, and I have often wondered if this is because I am closer to my journey’s end, closer to Christ's grip on my soul. Weariness overcomes me at times; this constant battle for territory within my own psyche can feel draining and demeaning. I told Jesus one night that I needed a rest.
Jesus said. "Rest in me now."
I put up my hands and Jesus stood in front of me and became a golden cross that kept expanding until it covered me and went beyond where I was. I kept saying, "Oh, its so beautiful, so grand." I was looking at a golden swirling universe expanding and filling my living room. Resting in Jesus I felt the full realization of Jesus as God and I too was one with God. "We are all Gods," I blurted out with joy when I dared let out a breath. "We all have three parts like you, Father, Child, and Spirit?"
"Write it," Jesus told me.
So here it is. We all have three essences within us, God, personhood, and spirit. As we evolve more and learn more about ourselves, we will understand this. Many people in the universe already know about their different aspects of being, their own godliness. I keep trying.
The spirit within may be the answer to my
question of how Jesus can be so close and real at one time and at another time so
elusive and hard to see. Also, how can he be with me and you at the same time? How
can Jesus be within us? I searched for an analogy and Jesus agreed that it fit
reasonably well for my purpose: It is like we are water molecules floating in
an
I wonder if that is that how the little people, the grays travel to us? With their minds or do they use some other means. The same people that Whitney Strieber told us about in Communion, the little people who came to my bedside one night and said, "You saved us." The little people…ah but I have learned more about these little people since the first book.
I have seen them, as I sit in my chair in the early evening. My dinning room light is on and they walk right past me. One, not so little but perhaps because I was sitting down, stopped and looked directly at me while I watched. I see them only as outlines, ghosts or whispers of beings, insubstantial, almost not there. Are they traveling in the time stream? Or are they just imaginary life forms, like a child would see an imaginary playmate.
Jesus explained about imaginary playmates to me one evening.
"It is so beautiful, the idea, the reality,” I thought, "I must write it down but I don't know if it should be revealed in my book or not."
Jesus said, "Put it into your book."
So here it is:
I was remembering an article in the newspaper I'd read that weekend about imaginary friends. I laughed and said, "Jesus, maybe you are my imaginary friend."
With Jesus smile, a burst of sudden knowledge filled my mind. Now I understood that a child's imaginary playmate isn't anything to laugh about. They are not imaginary, but real. They are the little people, the Gray's children; they are our ancestors visiting from the future.
"They send a child back through time to play with your child," Jesus explained by adding that that if they didn't, their child would never understand what a normal childhood could be like. It is part of their schooling.
I suddenly realized with horror that we use up so much of the earth, that we don't leave any for them. Nothing is normal where they live. We used up their air, soil, metals, and water, and maybe we turn the earth into some kind of hell and maybe the evil one is right to attack us, maybe the evil one is also from the future and hates us for our arrogance? I began crying and couldn't stop. This settled into my heart and stayed. I couldn't bare the thought of children never playing or running or skipping rope or laughing.
Real tears streamed down my cheeks because I understood more than I ever wanted to know. This night I prayed for us in our sins of pride. This was the night before Christmas, the most opulent spending spree of the year. This night Jesus also told me to describe the vortex that Mary had shown me to anyone who asks.[45]
From now on I will look at everything I consume and waste and use up with new eyes. We must learn, we must teach different habits, we must stop polluting earth. We are all one on a single earth; we must increase the effort towards change. Remember what Jesus told me, "There is only a slight chance of saving earth."
Suddenly, we stood in the middle of a strange city. The first thing I noticed was a sail shaped object in the central open space. It was white with small writing on it. I also noticed small sail shaped or triangular signs with what looked like writing on them on the front of many buildings. Up close, the writing looked to be made up of triangles and diamond shapes. Another large square sail covered the front of one very tall building. I don't know what its purpose was I thought at the time it was for information as well as decoration.
The streets were filled with people bustling to and fro in front of the buildings. They looked like the people I had seen in the forest and suburb but oh they were so colorfully silver. Their styles of clothing was so varied I couldn't focus on any one style except that most of the clothing was short and didn't cover the arms and legs. A few people wore bright, neon colors and one person wore an orange and white striped body shift and she or he had bright red (dyed?) hair.
That is when Jesus told me that she was the equivalent of one of our teenagers.
"How can you tell the sexes apart? If they have sexes, that is." Everyone's hair was shoulder length or shorter but always hung down straight.
"The males are larger, and yes," he added, "they have males and females."
I don't know why this surprised me, Jesus keeps telling me that this is a sister world to earth plus it is probably the most advantageous type of mating for intelligent evolution. Soon, I became familiar enough to notice differences, each person's skin and hair shone in different shades of silver, from white to gray to glass, though everyone was transparent to a degree, which made it hard for me to see them well. I found it easer to focus on their clothing because the translucent quality of their bodies made them blend into the surrounding cityscape. If the buildings had been brightly painted too, instead of the dull earth tones, it would have been impossible for me to focus on the people. I wondered what strange beasts in their past had caused them to develop such great camouflage ability.
Then I looked around at the strange three or four story buildings once more. They seemed out of alignment because they were clustered in odd arrangements. It isn't that the streets weren't straight it was that the buildings didn't seem straight up and down or have sharp contours at their edges. Even the city looked scenic and countrified and then I realized why, the large windows had wide trim around them just like I'd seen in the suburbs. The whole effect was picturesque and out of this world, of course.
Jesus suggested we go behind the tall buildings. We did. When we arrived, I was surprised to see litter and dirt and a mixture of crowded objects all jumbled together around a central opening. It didn't smell bad, though. The inner street or alley was narrow with canvas awnings leaning out into the street. A single narrow lane lead into and out of the back cluster of the buildings.
I forgot the dirt and grime as soon as I saw the children. A small group of children were playing behind the buildings. They were sliding down off one high triangle shaped awning on to a lower white sheet that other children were holding up. I watched as one child climbed out the window and jumped on the highest awning and glided down to the lower one. The child's rainbow wings were extended as he or she glided down.
Jesus said that the children weren't supposed to use their wings because they were delicate and could be damaged easily. The people used their wings only for certain rituals and for adult gliding. I learned from Jesus that the wings weren't really wings but membranes with many veins running through them like a dragonflies. The people had more control over the movement of the membranes than if they had been merely wings. Now they were considered archaic and of little use except for gliding pleasure but that took training and practice. The membranes folded up against their backs and were usually hidden by clothing. When Jesus told me this I realized how true this was because I hadn't seen any wings on the people walking in the streets of the city. These children, like children everywhere, were yelling and laughing as they neglected the rules against gliding.
Like their parents, the children looked made out of silver glass, but they were chubbier and shorter and resembled cupie dolls. They had large eyes and fat arms and legs. Silver hair flew around a child's head as he glided down the awning. The other children laughed in singsong trills and yelled among each other. I liked hearing the children's voices; even their loud yelling had a pleasant sound. They seemed to be happy children as most children are whatever their circumstances. Some were running, some scooting down on other awnings, and one climbed back up to the highest window and jumped out again. I caught my breath as I watched. They looked too delicate to be moving with such speed and agility. I didn't see any adults supervising their play. I fervently hoped that they wouldn’t get hurt and Jesus assured me they were fine.
The thought of danger reminded me that they must have blood running in their veins. But what color is their blood? It must be silver, or white, or gray? Oh these children are so beautiful, I can't believe anything on this world could be really ugly or dirty. If behind these building was their equivalent of slums, they were beautiful slums. I wanted to hug one of these children they were so plump, playful and beautiful.
"Many think earth people are beautiful too" Jesus added, "Visitors love the different skin colors, from ivory to ebony. The variation of people on earth amazes many."
"But I think we are so ordinary, not nearly as stunning as these children. I want to hug and talk to them.
Jesus smiled and promised me that I could talk to a few children before our last visit. He said the children will be able to see us and perhaps understand that we were visitors from another place. They won't be as frightened of the idea as their adult parents would be. "We'll see."
I know you don't want to hear my views or too much about my life, you want to hear the words of Jesus and rightly so, but I need to put myself in somewhere because my experiences directly relate to Jesus' visits and statements. Besides Jesus doesn't speak many words, I can turn his simple nod of agreement into five pages of writing. I am warning you ahead of time so you can skip this chapter. You may find it boring rather than instructive.
If I suddenly feel like Jesus is far away, I panic and worry. If I can't immediately tune in with him or feel his closeness, I become afraid that I am not good enough, or that my mind might be loosing its ability to reach out, or that I will never find him again. Silly but there it is. At times, heaven seems to fly away from me because I forget to love or pray, for days on end. The angels assure me I am ok, that they are still here, heaven is here. Jesus is here. My panic subsides. Jesus is where he was all along--beside me, inside me, all around me.
He tells me, "You will never loose me."
I believe him with all my heart because he is within and without except for the days when I let panic and doubts seep in. I am just a novice after all; I can't grasp all the ramifications of his being or how he is close to me. It is only at odd, infrequent moments that my fear and worry jump into the forefront.
One time I asked Jesus if there was anything he wanted from me. He asked me to stop worrying. He would prefer that I just go through life with a childlike trust in events. I am working on this problem and think I am succeeding. I watch the other people's problems swirl all around me and I am able to smile within myself because I have learned to ignore some of the tornado of emotions that still sweep other people up into a turmoil of fear and silliness. Am I wizening up?
Jesus made another request of me. He asked me to keep trying to visualize him during a specific session; he must have felt it was important at the time for a reason I can't fathom. Focusing until I really see him is hard to do because if I strain too much, I loose his image. It is only when I relax and know he is there that he is vividly near-by. I need to look at him loosely with my heart. Once when I looked at him in front of me, he looked like a silver outline and I wondered if he was there. He said follow my hand. Where is it? And I nodded to my left, then right, then up. Jesus said, "Do you still doubt?"
"No," at that time, I no longer doubted his presence, but I laugh that am God's little monkey because my attention span is so short that my doubts begin to fester again almost as soon as they ended. I hunger for the infrequent times when Jesus presence is concise and clear, when he is so vivid that all doubt flies away in his presence. I don't know why this is not always the case because at times he seems to be only an image, an outline of himself or a voice without substance. I don't know the answer. I do know my heart fills with love as my space fills with Jesus and Mary and angels and roses and clouds and seas and trees and Jesus twinkling eyes.
I hope you
could know Jesus as I do but of course many of you already know
him in your own way. Father Thomas said something I found very worthy of note
in a Sunday sermon once, he said, "Jesus absorbs into us when we receive
communion." He was quoting
I suddenly wondered; if everyone on earth decided to travel at once with Jesus, how could he possibly accommodate all of us.
He laughed, "Don't worry, there is enough of me to go around."
He wants a one on one relationship with everyone, but of course, we need this relationship, he does not. We need to initiate an opening, a willingness to see ourselves in his presence and keep working at it.
Jesus told me earlier that we would go someplace tonight, he didn’t specify where so I asked if we could go somewhere, 'off the books.' I didn't feel like going to Silver World tonight. Since each visit was a learning experience it could also be tiring. Jesus told me that we didn't need to go to Silver World every time we traveled and that tonight would be special.
He said, "Hold out your hands to the front."
I put my hands out front and lifted my arms up and closed my eyes.
He then said, "Don't close your eyes."
So I opened my eyes.
Then Jesus seemed to materialize slowly in front of me. At first I couldn't see much but a slight outline then I felt his hands laid inside my own. I could almost see them. I began to see white glowing in front of me and then a soft light so bright it seemed to fill the room. His face and figure became less transparent, and as I watched, the features of his face began changing and reforming. His face became a multitude of different people as it flashed in and out, converting into one face then another. The facial features changed from the darkest ebony to reds and browns and shades of every ivory, his eyes blued then turned black, then brown again while his changing hair style grew or shortened or blew against the wind. Every face was different in shape, color, tribe, or nation and style of headdress. These bright colored costumes moved around most of all, their patterns a kaleidoscope of stripes, folds, leathers or shimmering silks jumping before my eyes. Only the twinkle in Jesus eyes and his smile stayed in place. Jesus hands, still within my own, changed colors and shapes just as the faces had.
As the multiple Jesus' began to fade away he said to me, "My preference is to wear the clothing of holy men."
I smiled at this obvious humor and was delighted in Jesus gift tonight; instead of traveling to an other world, I had traveled around our own through a vast array of people living on earth. If I missed something, like womanhood or an age difference or a strange mode of dress the fault was probably mine. The symbol was the message. I will let you ponder it as I did.
There are times that I ponder who I am too. What my value is, besides seeing Jesus and writing his words. I finally concluded that I am the questions that I ask myself. That each question is really a search for self-meaning, and the trail each of us blaze through life may be nothing more than questions we have chosen to ask and solve. I spent twenty years searching the question, "Who and what is God?" with the result that I came to travel the universe beside Jesus. I find it interesting to speculate and wonder, "Who am I now? What question am I asking now?" As I type this note Jesus smiles at me within my mind as if to imply, you'll find out. If I could clarify my most recent question, it would define me. I laugh at this because while writing I can sound so sure and intense, but believe me I am as weak and unknowing as many of you, if not more so. I think it is important that you realize the sudden difficulties and doubts I sometimes go through, that they are normal and that you might go through similar doubts one day.
One night, I almost lost it, my sanity or self or heaven, whatever. I kept thinking how heaven has never helped me in the long twenty years that I have been struggling to become, to evolve. It seemed to me that the more I reached out to heaven and Jesus the more troubles came my way. Heaven has not stopped the rumors or helped me find a lover. A lover who would work and help pay bills, help me socialize, or just be there as a companion. It seemed such a simple and small thing to want, but evil put an invisible wall around me years ago and this night I knew, I believed that heaven was helpless to crack thru that glass wall. There was no help going to fall to me from above. My fear became intense as I screamed into the empty room, "Why can't heaven help me? What good are you, what good is spirituality if it can't help me? What good is love? What good is heaven or angels? It is all just mist and fog; there is nothing real to hold on to. What do I need spirit for anyway? I need help! I cried but to no avail.
These thoughts wormed screaming into my soul and twisted around inside my head. Their strength and staying power was overbearing and weighed me down. I felt like I had found hell and reveled in its darkest pit. Doubts about Jesus, our travels, and the rationale for my last two years all went up in smoke. My mind was bound and splitting with agony. I remembered in Conversation with God that God said that all people choose where they go when they die, so why struggle, why suffer, why love, why change and worry and try since you can choose to go where you want to go anyway. What difference did any of it make, I kept crying to myself. Why am I here? Just to suffer? Does heaven like my suffering? That night I think I was close to a psychic breakdown.
When I began to cool down, because nobody could keep existing inside the hell I had created for myself and stay sane very long, I forced myself to think about heaven, to call on the angels to hug me, cover me with their bodies and wings and love. I forced myself to think about what the world would look like without love or the other intangible qualities that I knew within my heart to be important just hard to grasp this night. I imagined a world gone to hate, the whole world a Nazi death camp or slave pit and I shuddered. I told myself that spirituality must have great quality, even though its quality eluded me at the moment. People have died and suffered for this spirituality, that same intangible grace that I had just cringed away from in my dark pit. People have been tortured because they dared hold to their spirituality, their love for Jesus Christ or Yahweh or Allah or some other principal long held dear by the wisest among us. Though seeming weak, porous, insubstantial, the opposite must be true, the principals of love, belief, ethics, and integrity are the bedrock of life. They are all qualities that evil would like to destroy in us. That alone makes them worthy of acquiring and holding on to. Is that why I was suffering? I dared hold on.
As all these thoughts raged inside, ironically, thoughts of the evil one was what brought me around that night. I remembered attack after attack by the evil one and realized that I must be doing something right if the evil one keeps hating me so strongly. If hate and destruction keeps pecking at me from every direction, then I must be a thorn in its side. This made me smile because heaven must hold me dear if the evil one does not. I finally understood that even my doubts this night were really an attempt by evil to hurt me, evil in disguise trying to destroy my sanity, trying to turn me against heaven, against Jesus. "I will not listen, I will not listen." I couldn't even bring myself to believe the words I was repeating but I started praying anyway, over and over until I went to sleep. My distress must have followed me through out my dreams that night because when I woke up the next morning, I still felt sorrowful and hurt, betrayed by heaven. I dragged to work.
I arrived at work feeling as if I had been rung and hung out to dry, my spirit sickly and torn asunder. Since I was the only person there, I sat down and began writing my feelings down which began to shape into a poem. I called the poem Soul Torn. I stopped and read what I had written.
Delight suddenly thrilled though my mind like a tingle of lightning. This poem is good. I laughed out loud. My doubts and hate and worry and hurt and despair evaporated like mist. I was back to normal and all it took was a simple expression of my feelings. Jesus smiled at me as I sat alone in the dull brown office. "Yes, I am back, thank you Jesus.” I clapped and danced around the central cabinets laughing. When I sobered up I began to wonder, "Was all the destruction and distress I felt last night really good? Or had I just turned the tables on the evil one who tried so hard to kill my spirit? What other traumas in life could be turned around with a simple poem, or walk through the flowers, a song or smile. Easily said once the feeling of hell was finally over but hard to grasp while the trauma was in process. Perhaps it is only the artist in me that sends me on these disastrous slides into dark mind space, perhaps they are my psyche cleaning house, and perhaps Jesus tolerates my storms because he knows all this. But somehow this seems too simple an explanation for the depth of depravation I had felt. I realized I still had much to learn.
Oh I suddenly felt so ashamed of myself. I begged Jesus to forgive me. I was about to promise that I'd never doubt him again but then I caught myself and stopped because it probably would happen again, although, I hoped, never again to this depth of agony. I am only human after all; with all the emotions we are all subject too rolling around inside me. Jesus is very tolerant but I worry that if I was to throw too many fits he might stop loving me. I don't intend to take that chance so I pulled myself together. I refuse to live through another, Dark night of the soul.
More relevant for our discussion is
the fact that the answer to my question, "What good are intangibles, truth
and spirit?" has been staring me in the face the last
few days. The news has been full of what happened in a small town when these
truth breaks down. Five people dead (21 later as a final count) and a thousand
gravely ill from e-coli in the small town of
The point that pulls at me, besides
the retching sickness these people are going through, is that each step of the
way could have been prevented if those people making the decision had more
integrity, courage, morals, or wisdom. This happened in
Just to get elected, our politicians actually depend on the opposite qualities--greed, disparagement, grabs for the top place, false promises, and untruths. We all hope in our hearts that once elected they will convert back to the person of integrity they said they were before we put them in office. But more and more we see money and power make the decisions. Development intensifies, it keeps pushing, keeps bulldozing over the little houses and people or fauna that were there first. All in the name of progress and prosperity.
I am not sure how to get back or keep hold of these long held truths, I am not sure if we can. Heaven and those of us who think we see through the façade have a long road ahead of us if we think we can jump start a change. We can each look at our own life and change it, and perhaps that’s all the success allowed in this war of wills.
I intend to keep my eyes open to the dark but at the same time outwit it by learning to pity my enemies not hate them, by rolling with the punches not punching my own holes. I have found the dividing line between the extremes, the demarcation line. It is the ability to recognize the different forces at work around me and to not let the wave overtake me. It is an attempt to walk in the shoes of your enemy and yet have the ability to draw your own line. It has taken me more than fifty years to learn this little witticism. I stand and watch the loves, smears, triteness and other human fragilities swirl around me but at the same time I can see strengths in some people, the strength to not believe the rumors, the strength to stand up for honesty, the strength to make the right decision, the strength to stand your ground even through a job loss, the strength to keep pushing ahead against overwhelming odds, the strength to look past the traps evil sets against us.
Probably any one of us could look at co-workers and see these emotions: slurs, weak and deliberate snares, cheating, or fear of loosing a job, flowing in and around the work place. I have every place I have worked and it seems to be getting worse. It is a constant battle of wits these days to remain clear headed, to disbelieve what people may be doing against me and then try not to react when I see that they are having the same problem as I am by believing that I have acted against them. Sure, some of the attacks may be true, some people may be out to get you but be weary of lies. I personally must disregard most subtle attacks like the plague because if I let myself get caught up in them I would be wallowing in the twists and turns that the evil one weaves. I refuse. I also refuse to sue any one for damage to my psyche or person. The very act of suing would put me at evil's advantage, a patsy to his whims. This applies to my life because of certain constraints of my own ethics. Your life may have different battle lines. Remember it is the evil one who causes dissention and anger between people; so, be ever vigilant especially in these times because, as Jesus tells me, evil is desperate, the battle is intensifying, the grab for your soul has never been so far reaching or effective.
Anyone with psychic ability, and it is growing among us, is ripe for evil's rapt attention. Be especially careful when you start to travel in the mind's psyche, you have hit dangerous ground. I wouldn't advise it without Jesus to call upon for help because of the potential danger besides psychic effects can last a lifetime.
When I build an emotional bond with someone that bond stretches like a rubber band, taunt or relaxed, which ever is the case, but it never snaps apart unless I make a deliberate attempt to cut it. When I was young, I hardly noticed this kind of bonding; I think it has grown as my psyche and spirituality grown. Sexual bonds are the most gripping and fragile yet long lasting. When I first noticed psychic bonding, I thought it was only sexual because our sex drive is so strong it can overwhelm our preconditioned thinking and therefore create a powerful psychic bond. But I was wrong. I now realize that strong psychic bonding is possible between mother and child, grandparents, friends and even between casual acquaintances.
I remember when my youngest son
went to
When my young granddaughter got in a car accident, I knew something was wrong but not what. I was working at the time but I kept getting the sensation that I needed to call her. When I got home I did call her but my other granddaughter answered the phone and told me everything was fine. I was puzzled but relieved. Later I found out no one knew about the accident at that time except her mother.
Even now I can mind-touch a former lover but I usually don't bother. I have learned constraint and thoughtfulness. Consideration is important when using our psyche. While reading a Sufi saying that one should always enter a room through the door, it suddenly hit me that I could be invading a person's privacy by visiting them with my mind. I try not to visit people un-invited, but I don't mind if other people visit me.
At times I am mocked and taunted in my own mind by the evil one, an evil who pretends to be Jesus. As an imitation Jesus he makes outrageous promises of money and wealth to me but Jesus says heaven doesn't make promises. At the other extreme, the evil one threatens me that I will loose my job; this seems to be his favorite pastime, that I will never have a lover, that I will loose my home. Evil knows our deepest desires and has deprived me of mine. His attack has been so effective that, to me, it is comparable to Sampson loosing his hair, my strength was taken away. I have always needed a significant other, male companion by my side. I believe if would have had a companion during the last twenty years, I could have re-made the world of gave it a good try. As it is, my strength has been reduced to almost nothing, all I can do now is write and hope enough people will read it. Jesus and angels keep pulling me out of this morass, somewhat reducing my handicap, but its sting holds on.
I wonder if I will ever have a friend to talk to, a lover, a companion. I hold to Jesus and try to hold back the doubts and worries. I keep remembering what Jesus told me a few years ago, "All will be restored.” And since heaven doesn't make promises, this must be a different sort of statement; this must be a guarantee and will be honored when I least expect it. Like last New Years Eve.
Jesus had said we'd do something special on New Years Eve because I was complaining that I would be all alone so Jesus smiled as if we would make it a special night. But my surprise came early, the evening before because as it turned out, I did have someplace to go that Friday. Thursday evening as soon as I finished watching a movie and sat in my armchair, I was suddenly back at Nexus, the way station for many people in our part of the universe? I was standing slightly apart from Jesus and the beautiful lady with golden hair was once again in front of me as if I had never left.
I looked over at Jesus startled and he nodded "Yes," that I was back at the same time and place I had left months ago. This time the lady took my hand and led me to one of the escalators. It was made of clear material except for the railing that was trimmed in silver. Everything high up was trimmed in silver - like silver lines crisscrossing and running together. Many other people were also riding on escalators. One hooded man, his purple hood was pulled to the back of his head, nodded at me as I rode past in the opposite direction. I wondered what made me so obvious. I now believe it was because my image or presence flickered in and out because I wasn't able to hold myself together well. I looked down at Jesus to follow but he shook his head in the negative.
The lady and I rode all the way to the top; we stopped at a curtain of light and stepped off the escalator into a jungle of trees and huge leaves. Nearby was the oddest animal I had ever seen - it was moving towards us and had a rider on its neck? Its walk or climb resembled gorilla but it was slim with long hairy arms. It had a small head and its legs were long and resembled its arms but I didn't see this until we were out of the jungle.
We got on one of the animals, which I suddenly understood was actually an intelligent species and rode for a short while before we began to descend. The gorillas climbed down very fast into mountainous country with big boulders sitting between mountain crevasses and ridges. Here the vegetation became sparse and irregular but we moved very fast. The gorilla’s arms and legs ran over the ground and then climbed down mountainsides by jumping and reaching for hand holds. It was enlivening and exciting and frightening but I seemed to be the only one scared or concerned.
One of the gorillas was carrying a small, slim girl with long black hair; She was the one who greeted the lady and me when we arrived so I assumed she was some kind of leader. Finely the gorillas climbed over a giant bounder and down into a bare rock crevasse where huge doors opened into the side of the mountain. We went into the gigantic cavern with its modern lighting and appliances and machines all blinking at once. It was like a modern city, which surprised me although I knew they had some form of communication over long distances because at one point in our journey the black hair girl opened something on her wrist and talked into it. It was radio or some other type of connection. The gorillas, after we got off, stood up and walked away to their own pursuits. I was told that the arrangement for both species was a type of symbiosis and both the people and gorillas had their own type of jobs to do.
I asked the young girl who seemed to be my guide why the heavy doors. Was it because of war, like a fortress? She answered that it used to be but now it was a part of their culture to live beneath the mountain. The cavern we were in was so huge that it felt open and above ground, they could have flown a plane in there if they wanted to.
It was all too much stress for me I wanted to stay and see more but I was tired. I was ready to leave but I didn't know how.
An older person with gray hair walked up to me and said that was fine. He said, "There are many ways to visit our world." He meant that I was there as a mental construct and no one minded it although most of the others were physical.
Suddenly Jesus was at my side. I asked if it was ok to leave. I was worried about just disappearing with all these people walking around and all the machinery. Jesus smiled and nodded. The lady with the gold hair stayed behind when I left. She may have lived there.
Rested and relaxed now, let me describe what I remember of their world: It looked just like earth and so did the people except it was very mountainous. Where we had been there was no flat surfaces at all until we arrived at the cavern. The crevasses were like V forms tortured into the mountains that at some point must have went through great upheavals. It was no wonder they needed the gorillas to get around, it must be the only way to travel though they probably had airplanes too.
Everything looked earth normal until I looked up into the sky because there were two suns in the sky, a sky that resembled earth except for a slight pink tinge as though the sun was about to set but the suns were high in the sky. One sun looked odd, like a ring around another moon, how an eclipse might look in a day sky but it wasn't an eclipse. The trees looked normal and green, the rocks and mountains tops were white and gray but mostly a light gray. The green vegetation grew in shadows on the sides of the sharply tilted sides of the hills and valleys. It smelled earthy in the jungle and breezy out on the mountains. I didn't notice if the trees were conifers like on earth. I didn't look too closely at the vegetation but I did at the fascinating gorillas, which were not, of course, gorillas but a symbiotic species of some sort. They were light haired-brown to blond to almost white in differing shades and colors. When I seen them walk, they walked upright like a human would with their arms swinging. The idea of their evolution and symbiosis with humans is interesting and I hope to learn more about the subject another day. For now, this visit soothed my soul because it completed a journey once begun at nexus and apparently moved my apprenticeship up a notch.
Jesus suggested that we visit an area deep in poverty tonight, but I rebelled. I didn't want to see these beautiful people suffering so I begged Jesus to wait until another time, and he agreed. We'll I do have some say about the places we visit. You'll have noticed that on the worlds we visited so far, we never visit a sports arena or political event. I dislike sports and politics and Jesus knows this; besides, my disinterest for this type of environment would detract from whatever lesson was in store for me, I would leave as ignorant as when I entered. On the other hand, I realize that Jesus has a rationale for the places we visit, that every visit has a lesson to be learned or a moral to teach which may be why the theme is usually a religious ritual or a small-scale cultural event. I also think Jesus prefers to visit the lower layers of civilization rather than the higher but seems delighted to walk among all the people and their diverse cultures.
Regardless, this night I didn't want to see young children hungry or neglected. I don't think I am a Pollyanna but I have my moods too. Besides, I won't win, we will eventually go to a slum on Silver World because it is necessary, but I hoped to hold the ugliness off for a while. On our last visit I saw those dazzling, silver bodied children playing and romping, gliding and shimmering beneath the soft sunlight and I didn't want to spoil that view yet. When we visit the slums, I will drag you there along with us, but for now, instead of visiting the lowest place, we went to the highest, the heights of Silver World, literally.
We stood aside and watched as a few of these silver people ran off a cliff and glided over the countryside. I noticed one person, his silver skin glowing beneath the silver sky, who looked naked because he wore a silver tunic, run up the foot worn path to the edge of the cliff, grab the edge with his long toe, and push off with a spring up into the air with his arms spread out. He caught the breeze just right because he lifted up on his glide wings and soared. Soon he became a shadow outline barely discernable against the silver sky.
We stood and watched as more people ran up the slope to the cliff edge and jumped off gliding. This cliff was natural but I understood that many cliffs were built for this purpose and most cities had their own gliding cliffs. Gliding was the most prevalent leisure activity on this world.
Colors were brighter this high up in the air too. This cliff was brown with orange streaks running in horizontal layers and deep brown in shadows. All the people were tall, small boned and usually thin and seemed to be expert gliders but Jesus told me that there were a lot of gliding accidents. That even though they were expert at maneuvering and taking advantage of the wind currents, some people crashed because they were intoxicated, not unlike our drunk drivers.
"It's too gorgeous for accidents,” I said. We were standing on the side of the cliff, which was in deep brown shadow with gray rocks scattered around amid short stubby grass clumps and weeds growing from cracks. It seemed wild and in a natural state except for the foot slop where the people ran off the cliff. The sky was still silver but the air was clearer and didn't reflect the sky as much.
We could see over the countryside for a long distance but the horizon turned milky sooner than it would have on earth. I could see farms down below with crops growing in different arrangements of straight rows as well as triangle and diamond shaped areas and some odd clusters. The texture was varied and colorful though still softly subdued by the silver sky. The birds I saw were too far away to see and I thought of possible predators and how the gliders were protected by their invisibility, this might have been why a few people wore silver clothing while gliding.
It was also interesting seeing the
straight rows because it reminded me that any modern civilization would eventually come to the
same conclusion, space is valuable; therefore, use it as efficiently as
possible. Jesus told me to hold on to this thought because I
would need it during our next visit. He told me that our next visit to Silver
World would be at the water's edge,
we would visit one of their many shipyards. I thought this would be
interesting because I've never been to a shipyard. I was suddenly reminded by
Jesus smile how much he enjoys our visits.
At the shipyard, we were like small ants amid huge metal giants sitting on the dock or floating. The ships were dark mountains against the silver sky as we walked past them to the other end of the marina. Here there were thousands of boats, much smaller than the giant ships, but still roomy enough for a large family as I found out.
We stood among a family that was sharing the cooking chores on a central burner and pot. They were gathered in standing positions and I didn't see any chairs at this time but later noticed a few benches. We couldn't be seen, of course, so we just watched as they ate their food and talked. There was a roof over us with a number of rooms leading away in many directions, not just in one direction, as you'd find on one of our small boats. The gathering seemed lively and, after eating, many people left to go ashore. Jesus told me they come and go to their jobs and other business but sleep and live on the boats.
We rode on the boat when it left to go on a fishing trip. There were a lot of people on the boat at this time doing work with ropes and other ship equipment that I was totally ignorant about. This boat was one of about a hundred that were going out to the deeper water to fish.
As soon as we arrived at the deep ocean, the people began throwing fish lines over the side of the boat. They pulled fish into the boat one right after another. The fish seemed to jump into the boat, then into the hole in its center. This kept up until the day was done.
Jesus motioned me over to a fish laying on the deck so I could see one up close. The fish was actually more transparent and glass like than the people but it also had silver in various spots. Shape wise, it was normal, six to ten inches long, with fins, tails, and, I think, scales just as you would find on any earth fish. Its glassyness was dull in spots and it was not as beautiful as the people that caught it.
Jesus wanted to point out to me that these fish shapes followed certain lines of evolution, and fluid and quick motion in the water was an evolutionary staple. I think this lesson also included most natural formations along with intelligent decisions about the arrangement of planted rows, writing, and other activities by a people on any world. Most of all, it probably included the people we had met on every world, they were all different but followed obvious lines of evolution, they all walked upright, with limbs on both sides of their bodies, and numerous digits for dexterity. Jesus had mentioned before that evolution was "directed" by heaven and suddenly taking another look around, the fact became obvious to me as well. The people were good and swift at fishing, their bodies moved gracefully and, shockingly beautifully, with hidden strength when they needed to pull in a larger fish. They were aptly suited for any job they would put their minds to. The usefulness of their equipment, though I had never seen it before, was easy to identify, their cooking pot had been so ordinarily round as it sat over the heat source as to be laughable, cooking was cooking on any world, as was fishing line.
I didn't see these specific people use nets but presume nets would be used at other times or places The people pulled in other kinds of fish too, without the glassy look, these were more colorful. A few fish were shaped in wild contortions but seemed rare and were thrown back.
The people partied, eating and drinking all the way back to the shore and this seemed very human and normal to me too. Darkness dropped down on us so suddenly that I couldn't remember what the sunset looked like. As soon as the boat got back to the dock, a large number of people piled in and began eating and drinking and I presume sleeping, but Jesus and I left at this point.
We went to a strange place tonight. We walked down a tunnel that was so strange I felt afraid to keep going deeper. With each step, it seemed to me that the tunnel was more alive with pulsations and whispered breaths. Even the color was fleshy, not like inside a red mouth, but whitish pink and gray with light and dark streaks running in concave circles around all around, like throated veins. I stayed close to Jesus.
We then entered a larger area filled with struts that crisscrossed from floor to ceiling in long diagonals until finally we arrived at a large shimmering gray curtain wall. The wall or curtain looked like a hundred shear curtains hanging in multi-layered folds crossing and joining each other and billowing in a soft breeze. The wall seemed to send my eyes away each time I stared at it; I couldn't really take it in so I glanced at it sideways with peripheral vision. The cave or tunnel we had been following was completely empty as it branched off to the left. When I tried to look at the curtains again my glance still kept sliding away. The curtain was slippery but this time I noticed it had a great defuse of color depth in the center.
Jesus told me to wait and not try to force my vision. "Close your eyes and then open them again," he said. He meant that I needed to see with my emotions, not just my eyes. I did as he suggested and closed my eyes and opened them again. I watched as some strange person, I don't know where they come from, stepped inside the curtain, turned and walk away disappearing behind the curtain folds.
With Jesus' encouragement and half push, I followed the person's example. I stepped into the curtains which turned out not to be there at all but only an optical illusion. The illusion persisted as I stood inside the curtain, which now surrounded me and Jesus in twisting folds of purple rain. Now a million rainbows surrounded me as I suddenly realized that there was no floor, that I was suspended in air.
It seemed that our next move could be on any direction, forward, backward, up or down and Jesus let me take the lead when I fell in the direction we should go. Our random direction pulled us out into a large garden area.
I called it a garden because it looked to be a well kept and tended. The flowers were arraigned in beds and rows and various arraigned designs. For some reason my view could travel for an extremely long distance although I wasn't standing on high ground though, thankfully, it was solid. I think this world or place was small because it looked like the horizon was curved upwards towards the sky instead of cutting off in the distance. The crisp air was so clear and sharp it turned far off flowers into vivid dots of lollypops and canes. The sky was light blue with tiny oval clouds in the far distance. A great profusion of brightly colored birds, butterflies, and other flying life filled the air near us. The air smelled wispy clean and summer breezy, fragrant but not overpowering,
Then Jesus reminded me that this was supposed to be a short visit but I was gazing around in wonder at the vibrancy of the colors and sniffling in the sharp tang of clean air, made fresher after the closed in space of the tunnel. The whole looked like a jumbled up Van Gogh painting with brush spatters here and there. My artistic sense was awake and enthralled by the vivid painting I seemed to be standing in. Reluctantly I returned with Jesus, stepping back into the purple curtain where I, instead of landing in the tunnel, suddenly arrived home again, sitting in a chair.
I asked Jesus about my feeling that the tunnel had been alive and he told me that my feelings were correct, that the tunnel had been alive in the same sense that a tree is alive. That we were the worms or bugs traveling inside its passageways. It served as a vehicle of transportation for little beings like us. He added that the garden we went to was really a ship but one as large as a small world; it looked smaller because the air was so clear air, with only the flying life hindering the view. He also confirmed my notion that it was a hollow sphere. He explained that the curtain I had walked through was a transport node, a system that took you to any part of the ship you choose to go as well as places beyond the ship.
Jesus told me to write all this down as correctly as I could remember because, he explained, "The readers will have strong opinions about this small trip one day," but he didn't explain further what the opinions would be about.
What if a
big, intelligent, pink blob of flesh were to set down at the intersection of
Woodward and Adams in
Well ok, joke. But it points up an important message--we can't tolerate an alien walking, living, visiting, or landing on earth yet. Oh many of us could, but what about the fringe, the bad mouths, the drunks, the crack heads, the down right bigots, the narrow-minded, the strictly whites, the black is power, etc. the list goes on… the fact is that if even one person felt hateful toward a visitor to earth, hateful enough to take a swing with a baseball bat, we all took the swing, if one person shoots an alien, we all picked up the gun and killed it. We are all responsible for each other's actions because we would no longer be singular earth persons, we would be earth people. We, each and every one of us would now define the collective--earth. Earth whose intelligent species are called humans or earthlings.
In the same light, any
extraterrestrial visitor would be a representative for their whole world. That
pink, blob that sat down in
Although neither Jesus nor heaven expects us to loose our individuality anytime soon, they may expect us to be capable of joining morally, psychologically, and emotionally into a more homogenous social matrix. Our minds have collectivity and bonding powers that we have hardly touched on as an immature society. You may not believe it but our thoughts are not held strictly inside our little round heads but continuously broadcast outwards beyond our bodies. As I suggested in the chapter on space, non-locality defines us and is never so demonstrably true as when tragedy befalls us and we are hit with a blast of extra sensory perception. The mental broadcast didn't suddenly birth itself in a blast of knowledge from afar, No, the blast was you're sudden perception of what was there all along. Mind is anywhere and everywhere at once.
Even in a physical sense this
is true but the idea is unfathomable to us as yet. We have a lot to learn about
the diversity of the universe and the possibilities
it enfolds. It is not impossible to be a single entity yet be composed of many
diverse moving parts, our own bodies could be an example of this idea with its
blood cells and mixture of microscopic organisms flowing around within us
I think I visited a body like that once that existed as a whole forest: This place was strange but at first I didn't recognize how strange because we stood on fallen leaves in a forest that could be anywhere on earth. But the hues of browns and reds and oranges had an odd note to them, less intense. On closer inspection, I noticed that the leaves were square shaped and had a whitish-gray coating with the corners curled up from dryness. The veins were all small and looked like tiny ladders running from one end of the leaf to the other. I couldn't put my finger on it, but this place felt strange too.
As we trampled through the leaves it sounded just like it would if we were walking through an earth forest in the fall season. The colors were wrong though because some leaves were blue and some yellow with dryness but no real bright red or oranges. As I walked to a slight rise in the ground trying to look beyond the immediate area, the land began moving in undulating waves, in a slow rhythmic rise and fall. The trees shook and swayed while dark green bushes with pointy leaves rose and lowered in rhythm. Soft sounds, complex and hard to place, rose in pitch and fell with the wave movement. The ground was undulating in spasms of earthquake?
Not an earthquake as Jesus explained it, but because the ground we stood on was alive and moving in phase to its own bodily needs. This large parcel of land crawled or slid at a snails pace across its world. It carried a whole natural biosphere on its back; it was its own ecology. After Jesus told me this I looked closer. The variation was so true that it even had bugs of different sizes and worms and other life forms scampering about.
I asked if there were people living here too and Jesus told me "No, not here." I didn't know if he meant that no people lived on the whole world or if they just avoided this false landscape, and didn't think to ask right then, or even if this moving forest was the whole world.
Later I felt like the forest had been a fun trip but fun with a kind of message; though, I am not sure what the message was if there was any. Often we go places with out a detectable purpose because the message doesn't show up until later. Jesus will often see what is lacking in my writing and take steps to fill it in. This may have been a message about togetherness? Oneness? Evolution? Singleness of purpose? Or have no message at all? Some messages I grasp at once and some I need to flush out or investigate, not this next statement by Jesus. It is clear, precise, and unambiguous. He means what he says:
“No one person can go forward unless he or she helps the others who temporarily remain. It is a law of evolution, the opposite is selfishness and greed.”
Jesus didn't say these words to me, he said them to Courtney Brown as quoted in his book, Cosmic Voyage,[46] the book I mentioned earlier. Courtney is a social scientist and remains true to the scientific method as he remote views distant places, a method that has been ongoing since the1980s. By this method he gathers some astounding information to report in his book. He has even remote viewed Mars and the Pleiades. I am grateful for his rigorously controlled scientific study and especially his courage to write about his results in areas of knowledge that most scientists won't touch; nevertheless, it doesn't go far enough. Science can be limiting as well as instructive.[47] I admit I don't use any method; I place my trust in Jesus and let him lead me. Only Jesus knows how he wants these books to be written, which is why I often remain as much in the dark as you.
Courtney calls chapter sixteen of his book, "The Collapse of the Gray Civilization." It is so important that I want to quote a large paragraph from it:
"Following the signal, I am moving in on the concept of environmental collapse. There is total pollution here. Literally, these beings are swimming in their own feces. Their entire consciousness is orientated toward self-gratification.
I am probing the concept of sex now. It seems that these folks are extremely sexually motivated.
Moving on to food. Their food is mass-produced. There are many individuals to feed, literally billions. Over time, the food became highly processed and very far from a natural design. The source of food was the oceans originally. I get the idea that these folks eat fish.
Again, following the signal, I sense that these beings were corrupted by some type of subspace war. It's as if they were collectively seduced by an arrogant, rebellious, and very powerful leader. They later felt betrayed, but the damage was too far-gone. They had to recover from scratch."[48]
Courtney's report is certainly vivid, it is also accurate, but there is one information track that he has failed to pick up on. The people he calls Grays, you know those small, white beings with the big wrap-around black eyes that you've seen on book covers. The same beings the Whitney Strieber wrote about in his book Communion, are not extra-terrestrials, they are a part of us--they are our own children, our grandchildren, our great grandchildren, our descendents. Jesus explained this to me when I re-read the Cosmic Voyage book, and has repeated it over and over. When Courtney describes the destruction of what he calls the Grey civilization and world, he is unknowingly describing the destruction of our own, his description reveals what we will do to our own earth. He says the Grays damaged the atmosphere with pollution, and radioactivity bombardment caused by an evolutionary mistake. "The focus on the self for self-gratification led to a behavioral dysfunction on the part of the vast majority of Grays."
As Pogo would say, "We have found the enemy, it is us."
Jesus said he will help me complete the knowledge we need to prevent the destruction of earth. He said, "What was hidden will come out." All the secrets held by many groups, the hidden watchers on earth and much more. This information is needed so that people will finally believe the danger earth is in. "We must save earth," Jesus said to me many times just as he told me again tonight, "We must save earth."
I told him I was beginning to feel afraid, "I am getting fearful."
His only answer, "You should be."
When Mary showed me what would happen
in the future, I assumed it was a long way off, perhaps 300 years, perhaps even
3000. I couldn't be sure because it was just an impression, but at the time
Jesus said to me, "A lot can happen in three
hundred years."[49]
If we think back to three hundred years ago we were in the late sixteen
hundreds, we were wearing breeches and wigs, Catholics, Quakers, Puritans and
mis-fits were trickling in to the New World and the fur trade grew along the
Great Lakes. In Europe, Halley predicted the return of the comet, Bach and
Handel had just begun to write music and
I assume what Mary showed me was a symbolic representation of danger to earth. Watching it I understood our world to be in great danger of some sort but I couldn't grasp exactly what or how. The impression was that earth was being sucked into a black hole, which of course couldn't be true, but at the same time, I wondered at Jesus words in the New Testament, "I go to make you a place for you."[50] I wondered if he meant a new world, that maybe he would terra-form a new world for us because we were going to need it after the old one died? My vision was right but my interpretation was probably wrong. In fact, because I stayed in such a quandary about what Mary showed me, Mary came to me again one evening and asked me if I wanted to see the vision again. I told her that I did.
I followed Mary up into the dark, star-lit night sky. We stopped in front of a swirling vortex of streaming matter turning in a tornado like wind, it resembled a small, dirty, gray galaxy against the black heavens. I stepped closer to see better and suddenly fell towards the center, turning and dropping fast as it sucked me down into its maw. Then once again I stood outside with Mary staring down at its ugly center. This had been a reenactment or image of a future event, somewhat like a movie and now I was able to stand back and reflect on what I had seen. Obviously Mary didn't mean that I was in danger of falling into a hole, No, I must have represented earth at the moment of my fall and the swirling vortex represented death. Earth is in grave danger. Mary nodded at my thoughts as if to solidify them.
I still wasn't sure if I understood, the message was certainly real, but the actual event, of course, couldn't be. Most of us know that the earth's environment is in danger. The weather has changed drastically in recent years, our measurements have broken all sorts of records, winter through fall. We've all noticed and wondered if we should worry. We should. The warming of earth is more serious and real than we at first thought, the drastic effects of tornados, draught, floods, and hurricanes will increase dramatically in coming years.
Our scientists are aware of this problem but disagree on its cause or solution. The disputes have been on going for many years with one study confirming or another contradicting the first. Only lately have geologists confirmed earth's warming as factual. By digging down deep into the rocks to the 500 year old depths around the world they have discovered that in the last 500 years the earth has warmed up by 1.8 degrees. 1.8 degrees may not seem like much but as an overall system change it's effect is far-reaching. The most dramatic effect may be the most damaging--we can't turn down the thermostat. We now know that the decade of the 90's has been the hottest decade sense we have begun recording earth’s temperature. In fact, first 1998 and then1999 have been the hottest years ever recorded on earth.
Some scientists say this can have a good
effect for a few nations, they are wrong, drastic change is nothing to play
with, above all because we don't know the rules of the game. Ask the people
living in
Earth's problems didn't start and won't end with only global warming, everything on earth is being affected by frightening changes. When we learned about the possibility of a few major animals and birds becoming extinct, we fought hard to change their fate, and won. But how will we win the fight for frogs and toads? How could we stop the extinction of the amphibians when the cause of their demise is the loss of wetlands to development, fertilizers and pesticide run off, ultraviolet beaming down through the thinning ozone layer, and the over growth of roads, apartments, swimming pools, and bigger houses. In order to reverse their end, we would need to stop our own growth. No one is ready to change their life style that much, yet.
Not only the amphibians but all extinctions are more dangerous than once thought; we now know that it takes 10,000,000 years to recover from a minor or mass extinction. Many biologists say that by destroying tropical forests and other habitats, humans are driving species extinct at an accelerating rate that, if unchecked, will result in one of the major extinctions in earth's history.[51]
Will we be one of those extinctions? As I watched the program, "What's up with the weather" I was appalled to witness the common views of average people. When it was suggested that one way to help would be to increase the cost of energy to limit its use, one lady said she couldn't afford fifty cents more per gallon of gas because money was tight. She had just killed her great, great grandchild for fifty cents a gallon. Surly there is something that she and her family can use less of in order to save the ecology of earth, the planet she needs to sustain life. This is the crux of the problem--selfishness.
Do you realize that it is the good Ol' U. S. of A. that is destroying earth. We're not the only cause but our sizzling consumer based society is destroying it more quickly and thoroughly than the other western nations. And, God help us all, the third world debtor nations can't wait to get into the fray with their own brand of consumerism.
Guess who is pushing the Dow Jones up and up and up, spiraling the economy to mountain highs? It is our old friend, that newly, self-defined, prosperous, modern, evil one. An evil one who will be grabbing souls right and left as soon as they must have more and more and more. But this more and more and more is destroying the earth by using and heating it up into faster and faster growth. The evil one is laughing all the way to the bank, his kind of bank.
Greed is becoming the normal state
of affairs in
I am afraid that our push to succeed, the energy that made America great, has now distorted itself to such a degree that it has become the push to 'succeed at all costs.' Our modern mantra is also our road to destruction. Our push towards success, money, fame, grows but never do we ask, success on top of who? Money accumulated for what? Fame for what? Power over who? Let me restate the modern quote from Jesus here:
…No one person can go forward unless he or she helps the others who temporarily remain. It is a law of evolution, the opposite is selfishness and greed.[52]
Well we all need to live, you might argue. And you would be right. We all need the basic substances for life plus entertainment and education and other pursuits. I suppose the problem rises in degree--how much of these normal pursuits beyond the basic do you need? The answer is different for everyone. I know many people who crave 'things.' They need to know they are surrounded by their things. Whether beautiful things, or collected things, or useful things or stylish things; it doesn't matter, but in a future world gone mad 'things' will no longer have much meaning. It would be nice if a few people would see this fact sooner than later. It might help save our planet.
I was feeling upset and lonely tonight, sorry for myself and angry at heaven for not pulling miracles out of its hat for me. For Jesus sake, I tried to pull myself together because he had told me we would go someplace tonight. I suggested that we wait another night.
"No." Jesus said.
This surprised me and shook me out of my fatigue. "What?" Jesus has never told me "No" before, this must really be a super event but my questions were left unanswered except for the warning that the visit would not be what I expected.
So we stood on a world, where or when I didn't know, but I trusted Jesus decision to bring me here to this beautiful place. The soil was black but the sky was blacker. A million scattered rock edges shined a silvery green reflecting the light of a hidden moon, I thought, until Jesus told me the moon wasn't causing the rocks to glow. He said that it was internal poisoning - radioactive poisoning to be exact.
I now saw that we stood on radioactive black, loam, soil radiating its poison upwards into a beautiful patterned light show. In the distance the green white glow became more obviously unnatural. This whole, large flat area, I now noticed, was absent of people or any other moving animal life.
Jesus bent down next to a plant and touched a very dark leaf with glowing green edges. The plant was growing in a round hump, its leaves falling over and around that somewhat resembled a hosta plant. The leaf crumbled to dust as Jesus' hand touched it. Its green-black beauty had been dissolved in an instant, to me it looked like the whole plant shriveled up in a death throb. Looking closer at the soil I noticed what looked like veins growing through out and beneath our feet. I imagined them as death fingers reaching out further and further to kill and grab. .
This must have been a catastrophe of great proportions. I imagined much death and destruction of life and shuddered that such disaster could happen on any world.
"It’s such a large, dead area."
"Yes, a whole continent."
"Did these people have a war?"
"No, an accident caused this blight."
I thought the results were just as bad as any war could be. As we moved across the dead landscape, I noticed one or two people far off in the distance. They were wearing protective clothing that covered their whole bodies. The edges of the clothing glowed with a greenish phosphorous light so I assumed they must have been collecting soil samples.
"It wasn't always this huge," Jesus said. "It is growing."
"Growing?" How can radioactive soil grow? I thought about it for a minute. I had heard of chain reactions possibly growing and reaching down into the earth but this slow growth seemed too tame for a chain reaction, which I thought, would sort of explode. But, then, I am ignorant about this whole body of knowledge.
"Could it be some type of water osmosis making it grow.
"No."
"Is it living as it grows?"
"Yes. Jesus told me.
He explained that it is alive in the tiny soil organisms that evolved after the radioactive accident. The survivors incorporated the contaminants into their system of reproduction. At present, they are thriving, growing, and spreading, slowly but inevitably killing out all the normal fauna. The organism's growth can't be stopped. It is eating the world.
The people have learned to travel to their moon so they could someday escape the disaster that is spreading on their world and consuming it. On the moon they dig out cells to live in for themselves and their future decedents. They don't have a Mars ( I couldn't help my sigh of relief at hearing they have no Mars) or other close planet, they only have a dry, cold, dead moon. No one is sure if they will succeed past the next few generations. Many of these people believe that moving to their moon is the only solution.
"There is some other solution?"
"Yes and we will talk about that at another time."
"But what world is this? It isn't earth?"
"No,"
Jesus has implied that earth could have its own form of radioactive disaster someday, but not this day. "It's not earth," I heaved another sigh. "I have never been here before."
"Yes, you have, many times. This is Silver World."
"What? Silver World? The world filled with beautiful glass people who worship God in soft green forests beneath a silver sky. Silver people with silver wings?"
Jesus remained silent because he knew my questions were a rhetorical reaction to beauty being rubbed and smeared against reality. The truth hurt. I felt like crying.
"There is more," he sighed, "But it will wait for another time."
We are already at war; many of us just don't know it because it is a silent, subtle, sneaky war, taking place between friends and enemies, mind-to-mind and heart to heart. Betrayals and schemes are common, friends are turned inside out and revealed to be something else. Most of this is caused by fear. Fear of not belonging, fear of loosing what we have, fear of being exposed, fear of change. This silent war being fought today is only a symptom of the next battle, the real one, Armageddon. A war that will not be fought on any battle field as many suppose, but mind to mind, within our hearts and souls. Jesus nods as I write these words. You might ask how this will be accomplished, even how it could get worse, but my guess is that evil's taunts will become stronger and harder to turn away from, harder to notice the malevolence inside them, the untruths that they sow. Will evil ever cease?
A number of days
ago, after I had a horrible dream of hiding from a political system that was
threatening to take over the world, Jesus told me that I had been in
Nazi Germany during World War ll. He added that I had "suffered
greatly." I didn't want to know any more than that, especially after that
bad dream except that Jesus also told me he was instrumental in saving me. I
wouldn't mention any of this here but I learned something of vital importance
along with the other information. Jesus said, "It will never get as bad
again." His implication was that in Nazi Germany evil had reached its final apex,
an apex that rose to the surface, choking nations, destroying whole
nationalities, and enslaving races. If Hitler had won the war, the whole world
would have looked like the
Now, in the present, evil hasn't gone away, it just moves insidiously through our society only erupting to the surface now and then in bloodshed. We hardly notice the depth of its virulence except when we read about another shooting in the newspaper after the damage has seeped into a person's mind as insanity or injury, which the person then twisted into dislike, hate, and finally, attack.
One thing about evil that is very frightening is that we need to be right all the time. We humans cannot face wrong opinions of our beliefs or actions done in the name of wrong ideas. I think about the women in Nazi Germany who must have kept telling themselves, convincing themselves, that everything was ok and normal, that during war these things happened and then proceeded to put evidence in place to insure their own opinion. The same thing happened a hundred years ago as happened fifty. People assured themselves how right they were to believe and use slaves. They wrote laws to prove themselves good citizens while they labeled other people sub-human. Does evil over-reach itself every fifty years? I don't know, we'd need to check back through history. Regardless, we tend to put a candy coating on our sins, or point our fingers at every one else, so we don't need to face what we wrought.
What is evil or malevolence? How do we recognize it? If it cloaks itself in fake clothing all the time, how do we know it for what it is? Some people ask, "Is it really there?" Humans have always associated evil with darkness because all its symptoms lay on the dark side: it demeans the spirit, spreads hate and dislike, amplifies jealously, and intensifies selfishness. Light does just the opposite, it feels good to share with other people, our spirit feels raised up, and we find comfort in being loved, in sharing, in giving. Evil can't exist in the light, which is why a prayer or even a kind word or hug can send evil scurrying back down into its dark sewer. So simple a solution yet often so hard to put into actual practice.
I was stupefied to read in the religious encyclopedia one definition of evil as "banal." That evil could be, as banal as following orders or not thinking about the consequences of actions. Many people on trial after the Holocaust used the argument that under a dictatorship they had no choice but to follow orders. This is how we can get so caught up and entangled before we feel its sting, because we always feel its sting when it comes back on us.
Modern life tends to hide the steps down the sewer until we have already fallen between the cracks. It's often hard for us to recognize when we're on the right side, the side of good. At what point do we have too much power or riches or anger, at what point does malevolence overgrow our hearts. When did we step over the line to the other side. Wouldn't we all like to have a definite line drawn across our path that tells us we must stop now, go no further or you will be on the wrong side, the side of evil, that your new marching orders will spiral you downward towards damnation. If only it was easy but its not.
The warning signs are there though. You can look in any direction and see spitefulness at work. Overt and subtle happenings that impinge on all our lives. You can also recognize those people who are most easily influenced by evil's pull. People who have a deep-seated need to feel powerful, who crave riches, who need high status, or hunger after anyone or anything too intensely. It is easy to see that people who drink a great deal have let down their guard and the same could be said for any type of addictive substance, people on crack haven't just let their guard down, they have stepped into evil's embrace. But aren’t we only talking about ignorance and incompetence at life, stupid acts that finally turn into disaster for that person and those around them. Maybe, but this slacking off on morals and creeping in of ignorance applies to the destruction of our society too. It is up to us to halt its progress because if we continue this downward spiral into chaos our grandchildren's children will never forgive us.
My granddaughter told me something while visiting during the thanksgiving holiday. She has a pimple on her scalp that she didn't have two weeks ago. She showed me where. I have a pimple in the same spot-left side of temple. We aren’t talking genetics here, I remember many years ago when I found it and knew it didn’t belong there although I finally accepted its presence. When I learned that she had one too, I was freaked out with worry. It upset me that my grandchild, and perhaps everyone, has this beacon in their head. I guess that's what it is, I don't really know. It is such a small item but with such mind boggling, potential for misuse that I was livid with anger. I knew where it came from, I knew who put it there. I knew that Jesus also knows the children of the future so I asked him about it.
He told me, "Heaven doesn't need it. It is evil's attempt to copy heaven." He also told me that heaven doesn't work that way that the war is intensifying. It is very important that we grow in spirituality soon, "Evil is getting desperate at my coming."
My
anger evaporated finally because there wasn't anything I could do about it. I
am not even sure if I am on the right track about its purpose or composition.
It may even be made out of real flesh to camouflage its existence. Check your
own head, your left forehead, diagonally from your eye. Probably half the
people in the
I was fascinated to read in Courtney's book, Cosmic Voyage, what he says about the evil being he sees in one of his remote viewings. It is an amorphously shaped dark-light being and Courtney actually enters its mind. He goes to a subspace area of chaos searching for external agents to the problem of the Grays and finds a layer of subspace with tremendous connotations and chaos that is almost over whelming. He explains that they are the Grays before birth who must take orders from an evil leader. I don't know if this is evil one or just some being who is evil but his next statements are as interesting as they are applicable.
Strangely, they had been ordered to self-indulge and destroy (both in subspace and after physical birth). Indeed, I entered its mind only to find that it has an extremely dark mind. Something was wrong here. It was as if the being was psychologically ill. To begin with, it had a pathological fear of dying. It seemed to think that military fighting and conquest was needed in order to survive. It knew that mistakes had been made, and it was afraid of punishment. The leader seemed unable to devise a plan for reconciliation--fear prevented it. Then it became clear to me: this leader was a terrorist…the Grey souls were being held as hostages during the crisis. He was using them against the others in the realm. The dark mind wanted a negotiated settlement that would establish its right of personality survival, but with changes. It wanted control over its own dominion. It wanted to establish itself as a sovereign --a dictator. Indeed, the leader desired worship (of itself). [53]
Courtney then states that the being descended into his office as a dark shape and then dismissed him as if he was just a small fry.[54]
Jesus and I have talked about these Grays, our ancestors, before, and I asked why some are treating people so harshly, sneaking up on them at night and taking them away like zombies then bringing them back. Why didn't they just ask for what they need before abducting people? Why were they doing it? Jesus answer was that the situation resembled our present day morality, some people disagree and side with evil. He promised that only a few worked for the evil one, which was comforting and satisfied me at that time. But some people perceive them as acting out a necessary, evil like forcing a child to get a shot at the doctors? I can't help feeling that a rotten core hangs around any setup of this nature, even if good is the ultimate aim. I don't wish to be a part of un-cooperative selection. Ask me and I may well agree to give what ever is needed but don't treat me like an unthinking head of cattle in the cow pasture.
Jesus laughed when he informed me that the other night I told these Grays how angry I was at their antics. I don't remember any of this, meeting them or what I said but I hope it was ripe with feeling. Though perhaps, like Courtney says they are just following orders from the evil one, they are themselves zombies.
The subject of the last page probably disgusted a lot of people who 'don't believe in that kind of stuff.' Half of me don't believe in it either. But I know how maliciousness works. I have seen it worm itself into a mind and twist it against me or someone else.
I have noticed certain steps that we seem to go through before we fail in our efforts to surpass malevolence. One scheme could go like this:
o We feel a lack or depravity,
o We begin craving something that we believe will satisfy this need,
o We often hide the craving or act out of pride,
o Then meet a group of like peers,
o The act or satisfying the craving is acceptable by the group,
o The group feels togetherness and feeds itself and emotions of comrade,
o Other people are against group because they are against this specific behavior,
o Someone in the group makes a request that you do something towards helping your group.
o You act out in some form in order to brag to group,
o But the next request becomes a necessity,
o You must do it if you are to stay in good standing in group,
o Usually this request is a small act against someone outside group,
o You rationalize that it is ok if you can, eventually, your rationalize each action's value
o You are now bought and bound by evil.
From a small step to the last you have now fallen in the thrall of evil, so far that your next act may be to physically harm another person for the groups sake. Or to save yourself from discovery of what you have already did. Only God's forgiveness can save you now.
But ignorance is easy to fall into. Unless we can perceive and put a halt or limit our own wants and needs, even a spiritual person can fall into evil's grip. I need to be ever vigilant and keep in mind that Jesus visual presence is not something to crave or I too can fall off the edge.
Lately someone has spoken and showed himself for an instant who looks like Jesus but who I think is fake-why? Don't know exactly. This happened in church. He seemed hard and unyielding and said." I don't like that prayer." The church had been saying the Our Father the most common and well-known prayer. I realized it wasn't Jesus but not because of his statement of dislike for the Lord's Prayer. I know myself, and am aware of my own strictures and so does Jesus. Would he speak in such a manner? Jesus has said many odd, strange things to me that turns our culture upside-down, enough to shake anyone's narrow mindedness or stand their faith up side down, but this seemed out of character. The personality didn't seem to fit. I think if it would have been Jesus he would have made a statement about how we said the prayer, not that he didn't like it. Jesus would have said that we need to say it more with our hearts. Then again, this prayer above all others joins people together into one group as we hold hands, and sing. I don't think Jesus would have made a statement against this prayer. So don't worry, just try to think of the words more. Jesus is very tolerant; I believe he would slowly break our hold on an idea we loved not abruptly shatter it.
Even an angry Jesus still feels like Jesus. His personality stays intact. Jesus is not usually against something that doesn't hurt anyone. Jesus is for togetherness, love, unity. So the statement in church wasn't from Jesus. I am showing you this self-argument so you can see my dilemma of making a quick decision whether it is Jesus talking or some one imitating him. Besides Jesus might leave me hanging with questions, but always with kindness so I will struggle with the quandary and find the answer myself. Let me tell you something Jesus told me about the evil one. I asked if he could act good in order to deceive us.
Jesus laughed and said, "He can't."
So Jesus agrees with what Courtney found in this beings mind, that he is defective. Nevertheless, we must stay diligent, and never underestimate its cunning nature, the imitator is an expert at what he does. The reason I am telling you about this is so you can be warned not to believe everything you see and hear or even feel. Look within yourself and your own needs to find the truth, then take care.
I am certainly not immune to evil's whiles. I have watched as other people throw their dislike or anger at me and sometimes I at them. Even so, I know through long experience with corruption, that I need to try to overlook their actions. I have learned the lesson Jesus taught us long ago, to turn the other cheek. I have had to because not to do so, opens my mind to hate. Hate is the evil one entombed inside the mind.
We all see evil every day in the news. We can see the scenario. Someone builds up dislike and anger for whatever reason. He gets confronted by this person who has hurt him, he has a lot of guns he has been collecting, suddenly his anger flares up, the guns are available, he hurries to the place and begins shooting. Later, during the trial, he wakes up and wonders what made him so angry and mad. He now can't find any reason for his anger. Sometimes we make it easy for evil to get inside and do its dirty work of twisting our minds to do his bidding.
One night many years ago, evil stepped into my mind and threatened me with a promise. He said "You will never have a lover or husband again. You will die first." At that time I was young and still pretty and thin, so I didn't believe the voice. But so far it has proved to be the case.
Recently when I asked Jesus why evil has won so far in my life he answers, "Evil has not and will not win." He told me that I would get married again some day. For most of my life, I was in love with love. A real love for Jesus has overcome this defect and satisfied my hunger as well as broadened my abilities to love other people. My love for Jesus is spiritual which leaves room for social love, although Jesus will always be the most important person in my life, and any mate will need to accept this. I keep remembering what Jesus said to me once that "All will be restored."
I don't think evil will win either. My book proves that. I have come to the conclusion that evil has intensified its efforts against me specifically because of this book. For a long time, I felt confused because I didn't know why I kept getting attacked by evil while other people seemed to thrive until I began writing this book. Of course, the evil one knew that I would write these words some day and began its efforts against me long before the fact. Take heart from this lesson, if you seem singled out by fate, perhaps it is because you will do something good one day. I think this book will have a positive impact and influence on changing the world for the better, so much so, that the evil one has tried to destroy my credibility. He has used rumors, personal attacks, and my own lack of self-esteem and tried to keep me from gainful employment. He has tried to destroy my character by any means possible; yet, I have persevered.
If you feel evil's wrath, you are not alone. I have felt evil's sting over and over and I often wondered what it's rational is, what purpose could it possible have for destroying lives.
Jesus tells me that, "I already know." He also said, " You will come face to face with evil."
"Oh no. I can't even imagine what Jesus means by that statement. But "No, not that, I can't face evil," I cry out, "I don't want to meet evil." But silence greets my call. At some other time I intend to discuss this question with Jesus I promise myself, but I keep forgetting to ask.
But whether you believe in an evil being and his workers or not, you should believe in radical evil. It exists and must be dealt with. We must minimize its grip on our world somehow.[55] Jeffery Russell asks and answers many questions in his excellent book, The Prince of Darkness. Here is a quote from the book:
If the Devil does exist, what is he? If the concept has any meaning at all, he is the traditional Prince of Darkness, a mighty person with intelligence and will whose energies are bent on the destruction of the cosmos and the misery of its creatures. He is the personification of radical evil, and he can never be irrelevant because humans have always sought to understand and to confront that evil. That search, that need, is a sign that meaning is there, however obscurely it seems to be hidden from the intellect.
He then goes on to say that "perhaps love can do what the intellect cannot." Most of us certainly agree.[56]
The big question, of course, is radical evil, is there such a thing and Jesus answers that question in the affirmative. Radical evil means evil as a cause in itself.. This is the answer against evil, as we evolve and grow spiritually we become less and less weakened by evil. In the end because as growing beings we keep evolving, evil must loose out. I am myself aghast at my past capacity for evil. When I was younger, my personal feelings were very self-centered. This must be the case with most youth. Youth must be ignorant by necessity. But on the other hand, youngsters have the least ability to see anything wrong with the world. I love their innocence and exuberance and love of life. They have no inkling of what may be in store for them as they grow into adulthood and I certainly am not going to disillusion them. So we will leave evil to us thinkers and complainers.
Jesus has told me that evil is a force in the universe, a psyche force in space that centers on emotional nodes like earth because earth is so immature. How is this force conjoined with God? Is it like dark against light? Could it be called a natural force? Is it necessary? What I saw out in space a few years ago during meditation was, I believe, a being of gigantic, universal, radical evil. Even now I shudder to remember this dark force. Does it permeate earth space somewhat like a god? Does it direct certain beings on and off earth? Can it affect only people on earth? I don't believe so. From what I have seen of other peoples and worlds, with little exception, all intelligent beings seem to be more or less in the same boat regarding the temptation of evil. This is disturbing, to be sure, but you may derive some hope and comfort to learn as I have that evil cannot penetrate God's golden light, that Highly Evolved Beings are higher up than evil, and that there are some worlds where evil is almost non-existent. Evil cannot enter all doors. The Bubble Worlds Jesus and I visited were one example of a civilization where evil does not penetrate.
The other night we went to such a strange place in the universe that I got stressed out very quickly and we needed to leave. We saw red blobs surrounded by dark space, as we moved closer they became orange transparent bubbles floating around a central star. It was too much for me. Jesus said he would bring be back to this group of worlds because there was something specific he wanted to show me.
We went back later and I got a better look at the bubbles. They still looked like bubbles, bright red circles floating in dark space around a central star, then as we moved closer to one of the bubbles, the bright red color dissolved into a reddish orange transparent sphere. We moved up to the orange sphere and pushed through its skin like it was a membrane.
Inside was busy with floating forms of different sizes and some of the floating or flying forms looked like small people traveling up and down and sideways as lightly as any bird or butterfly. Everything I could see inside the bubble looked like it was in free fall, I mean nothing was anchored to any floor because there wasn't any floor to anchor to. Objects were moving seemingly in any direction or place they wanted to go and it was very confusing to my earth eyes. Plus, it was huge, it could no longer be described as a bubble but an inside-out world. Its size was so vast I couldn't see any sides or top or bottom.
Well everything floated by us or we floated by it, one object was a round floating abode or dwelling. Jesus told me that these dwelling places weren’t owned by any of the people. They were used by anyone who desired to stop and rest for a time or who felt like taking a nap then sleeping or eating if they choose. Like a floating bed and breakfast only free, or at least, not paid for in a monetary sense. I presume there was some system setup where everyone cooperated to provide substance for all.
Nothing was crowded even with all the parts and parcels and abodes moving willy-nilly around. We moved to the front of two huge pillars with a shimmering multicolored soap-film wall between them, this, Jesus told me, was their mode of transportation through the universe.
If they choose, this soap film doorway or transportation node would even take them to Nexus. One of its links was to the tunnel transport system Jesus and I had visited on another evening, the one that seemed made of curtains filled with different colors. Many peoples on different worlds have these transportation systems they use to travel throughout the universe. Jesus then showed me a vision of transportation paths through the universe like the flower pattern in a multi-dimensional lace curtain. It went on forever over and under and around itself. This super-highway wasn't physical, but made out of veins of light or some kind of ethereal-like matter running and flowing throughout space. Jesus mentioned that some systems have been mapped by a few civilizations but no civilization has learned the whole of it yet, or ever can. Which brings up the question, “Are these paths natural or man-made?” I remembered to ask Jesus this question later and his answer was "Neither."
Just before our next visit, Jesus explained that we would always stay invisible in the Bubble Worlds. He didn’t' explain why but I later understood that the reason was so as not to infringe on the people's psyche or minds who inhabited these worlds. They were very highly evolved and lived gentile lives. I wondered if even my thoughts, being lowly and not very highly evolved, would disturb their equanimity. So Jesus must have blocked our conversations from their awareness. I understood better how highly evolved these people were as I traveled their world. At one point I asked if we were going to visit a place of worship in the bubble and Jesus answered, "No, these people don't worship God or the universe through ritual." He explained that they live their reverence during each moment of their life, that every act, whether they are playing, eating, working, or learning is a form of devotion.
As Jesus lead me around inside the bubble world I saw so many strange and wonderful shapes and forms of life, too numerous to mention here except for the few that were so amazing they stay in my mind even today. We visited a lake that was round, I don't mean round and flat, I mean round like in circle, like a ball. It was incased it its own bubble skin. He pointed out large multicolored flowers that grew in round balls too that floated around. He said that the people living in this sphere choose to have a lot of flowers and color around them.
The bubble had a blue sky with clouds in a few areas and in other areas there was what seemed to be strings or twisted regions with different color of atmospheres and degree of light. I understood that the people could travel to areas of daylight or night or even a season of spring or summer whenever they chose. I saw fog or mist strings swirling gently around in some places and thought perhaps they gave the world variety as well as decoration.
What Jesus wanted to show me most were the people who inhabited this paradise. They flew around their world as easily as birds or butterflies would travel from one flower to another. At first, I only caught glimpses of them from a far off view and thought they were birds. But they were small people who looked earth normal in every way except that they were floating and flying. They were tiny with long hair, both men and women wore their hair extremely long, in stripes of different weird colors, colors I can't easily put a name to, colors like chartreuse, mauve, sea-green. Their hair flowed out around and behind them as they danced through the air. On a number of people, their pubic hair showed and was colored and decorated as wildly as their head hair. They all wore vary bright colored costumes. Their clothing was like the wind, flowing in strips of different colors so it was confusing looking at a person and wondering what part was person, what part hair, or just decoration. Jesus said the people in this bubble delighted in odd colors and flowers for decoration.
While in some of the other bubbles or worlds, each half the size of earth I learned later, people stayed nude. Some people had changed themselves genetically so that their wings or flaps become a permanent part of their body decoration. Here in this bubble the people chose to wear their wings as decorated attachments, which to me looked like they were made out of clear plastic with beautiful abstract designs painted on them. They looked like a fashion item, as a part their clothing that could be changed at will. The wings were different sizes and kinds too. Some were shaped like butterfly wings and some small ones that reached from wrist to waist. The purpose of the flaps or wings was maneuverability, not flight, because there was no gravity here.
The people were experts at odd turns and twists and soaring and stopping in mid air. They seemed to me to be a playful, happy, and free people. I never saw a person stand on a solid surface and walk, but perhaps there wasn’t any straight flat surface.
I wondered how they grew their food and asked Jesus. He explained that they have a central sun (self made?) and that their food is grown in bundles of trees and earth. He added that they used to devote whole bubbles to agriculture but they learned it was better to scatter their farms throughout each bubble for variety and ease. I supposed it also would be safer to scatter the wealth of produce but then doubted if these people needed to worry about safety. It didn't look as if they had any bad vibes or enemies inside or out. Jesus agreed with this sentiment by telling me that no evil could penetrate here.
The colorful, little scattered forms I found most fascinating were their birds, they served as the cleaning system. These vacuum cleaner birds were of varied designs and sizes, some very small, and like everything on this world, wore bright colored feathers. I watched as one flew at a floating item and scooped it up in its mouth. I supposed it knew what to eat just like any earth bird would know what to eat and what to leave alone. And since everything floats here, I had the sensation that I was under water because of the constant movement of round abodes and rivers and flowers and bubbles that kept floating around us. There must always be food for the picking, and crumbs left floating to feed the birds. Perhaps they could scoop up non-food items too, don't know but it makes good sense. I couldn’t' see if the birds had real feathers or not, it didn't look like they had wings like a normal bird would so I don't know what propelled their movement. They looked more like fish twirling and curling up and dashing around, certainly they were perfectly fit for the job they were doing.
With everything moving, turning and twisting and flying it soon became too much for my senses to take in. Especially at the round lake where I watched a person dive splashing into the water, turn and flip then dive back up into the sky. What a way to take a bath. I suggested it was time to go and Jesus agreed. I hoped to visit again, and thought I wouldn't get as lightheaded next time.
Today Jesus told me that we would visit a place that is worse [or just as bad ] than the radioactive accident. He said he wants to speed up our visits and get to the real reason for our travels.
I just read how some Gray people used humans as ginny pigs, controlling our minds, creating robots, turning people into robots. There are many reports of this happening. The good ones always give people a choice, the other side does not give choices, and they treat people as if they had no merit or worth. I had a premonition that I would visit a similar horror with Jesus tonight.
It didn't seem so horrible. First. we revisited a number of places on Silver World. We went to the leader's office that was high in one of their cities and watched some people talking and arguing. Even I could see the anger and discord between the people in the room. After the visitors left, the leader walked over to the large window and stood looking out over the city. We went back to the original forest glen of our first visit. Jesus reminded me of the many scattered forest areas that these people use for worship, then mentioned the hammer blow, "Listening devices, for the purpose of spying, are intermixed between the trees and bushes of every forest glen."
He quickly added that the leaders didn't use strong-arm tactics against the people, they aren’t put in jail, shot, or physically abused in any way. Instead a subtle propaganda has been used against them, propaganda created from information during worship gatherings. Worship gathering for these people is a valuable means of communication and joining of ideas. Gathering for ritual prayer and discussion has been increasing lately after stagnating for many years. Their gatherings in the forest is not only a means of worship of God but also has the connotation of togetherness on specific ideas. I couldn't think of an analogy like it on earth, but I understood that important decisions by ordinary citizens were made at these meetings, somewhat like our voting method.
The leaders want to relocate all the people to the moon. This would give them complete control over the people, their reproductive rate, their status into work groups, and their food rationing. The people's complete life style could then be manipulated, in their supposed best interests, by the leaders in power. This is the reason for the listening devices. The leaders who direct this world are pitting one group against another in an attempt to maneuver them to accepting the moon position. They have turned many of the people to their way of thinking.
But the leaders, themselves, are being used by an evil force, our old friend and antagonist ? The evil one has taunted them with the dream of power and convinced them that there is no going back to the old natural way of life, that their future lays in technological solutions. They now believe that worship and gatherings will not save them, that even that beauty is old fashioned, that they have outgrown their world and the next choice for progress is a move to the moon. They believe strongly that they are right.
But many people want to hold fast to their world, to fight the blight and beat it back. All the people feel the shame as they watch the other world continent die, but not all want to fight. They hope, at the least, to preserve a few of their sacred green forests. Some people hope and believe that a concerted effort and concentration of mental energy will change the course of the blight that threatens their world.
"They are right," Jesus said. But then he added that it wouldn't be easy, that it would take everyone on the world working together with love and devotion and understanding to effectively turn the blight around. The battle is subtle with each side believing they are right. Practical people don't believe in mental power or energy, they then prove their correctness by subverting the mental power around them through skepticism and cynicism.
Young people are entering the debate and joining the gatherings. Worship by the young has increased tremendously since the blight disaster was admitted. Diverse groups are trying to increase their understanding of the mental energy that would be necessary for change. The groups who believe that the blight can be turned back, also believe that loss of mental togetherness caused the problem in the first place. Too great a dependence on modern technology, some have come to understand, may have caused the divisions and rifts between the people in the first place.
Their prophets are spreading the belief in mental energy and heaven is influencing the prophets in this knowledge and wisdom, and has been for quite some time. Heaven is everywhere active on worlds that are in need of help, especially during fragile, historical turning points of world evolution. This is obvious if we search back through our own religious history. This might be a good place to mention what Jesus told me one night about Joan of Arc; I was watching a program about her life and refused to watch the ending when he said, "She didn't burn." I implied from his words that he saved her at the last minute by lifting her into heaven. I know your relief is as great as mine.
So many times I question what is going on. I should get a doubt trophy. But this morning before church Jesus presence was so strong that there wasn't an inch of doubt left in me. His authority and love poured out as if from a never-ending fountain. He repeated what he has said many times, "Everything I tell you is true. It is all true."
True; nevertheless, it can be tiring with worry and hope. I told Jesus I would be happy some day to be back with him. "I need a rest."
Jesus said, "Rest in me now."
I put up my hands and Jesus stood in front of me and became a golden cross that kept expanding until it covered me and went beyond me. I kept saying, "Oh, it is so beautiful, so grand" I was looking at a golden swirling universe inside my dinning room. It was then that I realized that Jesus was God. That at this second I, little nothingness me, was joined with God. We were one at that moment. I realized something else too, we are all swimming in a God-sea. We are God. The golden moment dissipated because it was too intense for me to stay longer.
I suddenly began wondering if we all had three parts like Jesus, father, son, and Holy Spirit so I asked Jesus. "Are we all god, people, and spirit together?"
"Yes, write it down," he told me. So I wrote it down before I left for church. Nothing more was said about it but it seems self-explanatory. We are all part of God's ground of being, we all have physical bodies, and we all have souls or psyches. It is up to us to touch base with our different aspects and learn to know them.
Another time when I was very tired, tired of trying and pushing and writing, God spoke to me. I had complained that I felt finished with the world, that I was always on the bottom, struggling, that I didn't have a friend or companion so I wanted off this earth for good, I really wanted God to end it for me.
Suddenly, God said to me, "After you finish writing the mystery book, you can leave if you still want to." I was surprised. Another time when I worried that a full time job wouldn't leave me enough time to write, God spoke by saying, "Write it."
I can't imagine what will be worth writing in a mystery novel that even God agrees that I should write it. Perhaps I mixed up the intent, God may have been referring to this book. I intend the theme of the mystery novel to be good verses evil and how evil sneaks its way into and through us, turning even good people against God, which is not an unusual theme in fiction novels. I do agree that these Travel books are important enough to require that I stick with it. The message needs to be said and Jesus wants me to say it. But I am running out of superlatives when I think of God wanting me to write a murder mystery. It is almost funny but I am afraid to laugh. Then I do laugh because sometimes I get Jesus and God mixed up. Jesus spoke and said, "That is ok."
Sometimes when Jesus speaks, I turn around and ask, "Where are you." As if I expect him to standing there every time he speaks. He is not. Most often he speaks from beside me or inside my mind. I think I have solved that puzzle though; I may understand how he can be with me and you at the same time. He sends his mind out to touch us, all of us. His spirit can dwell within all of us because he sends it there from where he is. I reason it like this, that if even my little mind can send a thought or emotion to someone else, ESP is becoming a well-known quality, then imagine how greatly more powerful Jesus' mind is and how more easily he would send his thoughts to us. That may be how his spirit can be present within each of us and, at the same time, be in numerous other places in the universe. I suspect that even we can do it or will be able to some day. He has tried to teach me to expand my mind outwards in all directions at once; though, I am still unable to do it well, but keep trying. Even so, I am not able or don't choose to go into other people's minds because I feel like I would be invading their privacy, not so Jesus because he knows everything as God. Also, don't worry about Jesus' ability to be everywhere, Jesus assures me that if everyone began traveling and talking to him; there would be enough of himself for everyone, enough to guide each and every person forward. Ah, what a wonderful quandary that would be.
As it is, I feel guilty because so
many nights I talk to Jesus about myself that I forget to
pray. I seem to go through long periods of selfishness. Though I believe
talking with Jesus is a form of prayer; still, I should be thinking of other
people not myself all the time. This night, I caught myself going in
circles, stuck on my own problems, so
I pulled out of my self-morass and began
to pray for others. I wanted to pray for the people in
I don't know how valuable our
prayers are at the moment; even with the help of angels we seem unable to gather
enough concerted effort to push back the Taliban or the hundred little
dictators in
"How should we pray?" I asked Jesus. "How do you want us to pray? With spoken words, reading prayers, emotional love, sending feelings, mantras, or mind travel so we can hug people."
His answer was, "Any way you can, any way you want."
We can feel assured that Jesus will make our prayers as valid as possible. Our love and concern calls on Jesus to help. Our prayers call on Jesus to use his power. When Jesus was alive he could heal the sick, drive out evil, feed the hungry, absolve sin, raise the dead, correct deformities, and raise himself from the dead. So the prayers and thoughts that flow from our mind through Jesus' to help someone are certainly going to the right place. As I was thinking these many thoughts about Jesus and prayer, Jesus said, "I still have those powers."
I believe Jesus will show us he still has these powers, perhaps more now than in the past. I used to think it was because he was traveling closer but now I think it may be because we are growing closer to him. Does that make him stronger or his presence stronger and more able to affect our well-being? I remember what he told me once, "We must step-up your spirituality" Jesus and all of heaven is trying to increase our faith and spiritual growth to save our future.
I know I have mentioned before that when I refer to heaven I mean the highly evolved beings who work for God and Jesus and Mary, who I often think of as the female aspect of God. I hope I don't throw you off by talking to Jesus and talking to God and then getting answers as though from different places. I do this because I need to. In order to understand Jesus I need to think of him as a person, a man who I can relate to, though, as I grow further in wisdom I find God can be recognizable as a person as well. Jesus doesn't seem to mind. Perhaps Jesus is such a highly evolved person that he is God. He told me once that he was as much God as most of us could understand at this level of our evolution. So for most earthly purposes, Jesus is God, as much God as we can handle. I remember when Jesus told me to call him Lord. Now I think of Jesus as Lord of Space and Time. A Lord who knows and can take me to any place in the universe. That is God enough for me. A Cosmic God.
I was delightfully surprised to read God referred to as "A Cosmic Voyager," in the book Divine Encounters by Zacharia Sitchin. He is a professional linguist so when he talked about Olam as mentioned in the Bible as meaning many worlds I understood it as the place I visited, God’s World. Sitchin has used many new ideas and linguistic interpretations to re-read and re-interpret the Bible. I have paraphrased a small part of his interpretations of the words Olam.[57] You would need to read the book to get the full idea.
According to Sitchin, Saddai as an epithet for Yahweh is uncertain etymology. New studies suggest the word is related to shaddia, which means "mountain" in Akkadian so El Shaddai means "God of mountains." Biblical referents to Yahweh's throne stated it was located in a place called Olam. Modern translators render Olam as everlasting and forever or eternity. The Hebrew bible, more strict in precision has Olam often appearing with its root ad to denote its everlasting nature was a noun derived from a root that means disappearing: mysteriously hidden. The numerous biblical verses in which Olam appears indicates it was a physical place, not an abstraction {as everlasting} "thou art from Olam", God is from a place which is hidden.[58]
No less eleven times the bible refers to Yahweh's abode, domain and "kingdom" using the term Olamim, the plural of olam-a domain, an abode, a kingdom that encompasses many worlds. It is an expression of Yahweh's Lordship beyond the notion of a "national God" to that of a judge of all the nations beyond the earth and beyond Nibiru, to the "Heaven of Heaven. Deuteronomy (10:14, Kings 8:27, 11 Chronicles 2:5 & 6:18) that encompasses not only the Solar System but even the distant stars (Deuteronomy 4;19, Ecclesiastes 12;2)
"THIS IS THE IMAGE OF A COSMIC VOYAGER"[59]
Actually it would be more accurate to say that God is the Cosmos or God's mind roams the cosmos but even this fails our understanding because our minds are not adequate to take it all in. We must finally just accept God as God and leave it at that.
Sitchin's book was an accumulation of ideas from his first five books, The Earth Chronicles[60]. Heaven has implied to me that what he wrote in his books is true. I hesitate to refer to these books because some of the factual information is quite detailed, much of the detail are from the Bible and other historic sources which some scholars tend to change at every translation. Heaven's whisper may have meant that these books were true in essence, but not in every detail? Of course, Sitchin, as a scholar knows manuscripts are subject to change and must take this into account. I have often wondered if the angels told him that he is on the right track, or if heaven encouraged his books. Because he is a scientist he would probably disavow this idea. If you're curiosity drives you to want another interpretation of heaven, besides Courtney's sub-space, and my heaven filled with helping hands, read Sitchin's books.
Of course, there may be many interpretations of what heaven is, and with many layers to choose from, all interpretations could be partially right. Remember Courtney refers to heaven as subspace, I have often thought of heaven as space-plus, but all our ideas fall far short because heaven is much more than what any of us can understand including what modern science calls space/time; and certainly God or Jesus is much more than some astronaut traveling through it. You know this already if you love Jesus.
Our culture tends to belittle anything the sounds like space and aliens in the same breath, which is unfortunate because we will need an improved connotation of these concepts in the near future. The mockery of space aliens as clichés has been partially induced by the evil one. If we learn to mock what may be real and helpful to us, then we stay in his corner, perhaps doomed forever. We must realize that the next step in evolution will be through space culture and mind expansion outwards through our souls. We must learn to touch our souls, even though many of us first need to learn we have one. Remember--Armageddon will be fought inside our minds. And who knows, evolution may be selecting for the ability to survive death of the birth world, the ability finally to leave it and go forth into the universe.
As a mere glimmer of this mental tendency, I see evolution working within us at the present time. I notice we try to gather and belong to esoteric clubs. People in each kind of group believe they know each other and recognize their own kind, this is an aspect of extra-sensory perception that is waking up inside us or waking us up, however you want to look at it. But a problem arises when a specific group believes themselves to be elite and set apart. This identity sorting can be dangerous because it can drive one group against another. In other words, we humans tend to join groups, but lately, my guess is that many groups have had a certain sense of belongingness and subtle knowing between its members. Many of these groups consider themselves elite, with special powers of knowing or understanding inclusive to their group. This is not true. ESP ability is not inclusive of any specific group. This is important to know because all these groups will need to join together in the future skirmish for souls. Not only that but many churches will loosen their differences, until finally, the lovers will join together against the haters. As Jesus says, "It is necessary."
Yes, The writing is on the wall for a horrible war or disaster.
I knew opulence could cause
disaster but I never thought of prosperity as dangerous. Yet, it is dangerous
and pointing us towards the unending or final disaster. The history books
remember the disasters of the 30's, the Dust Bowl, The Stock Market Crash, the
Depression. The effects were so devastating that many older citizens I've taken
care of still hoard tissue paper, Kleenex, and other paper products that were
so scarce during that time. The point is that
There are other possible disasters
on the horizon. The weather patterns are changing and disasters are increasing
around the globe and will continue to increase. I am sure of it because when I
read about
I know we are a generous nation, we help other countries, but we are not generous enough, we only give a minor fraction of the wealth, yet use up 80 to 90% of the resources. Somehow we need to develop a more equitable world economy and government. We can afford it. We are so rich that we brag about it. Our total entertainment system takes glory in this richness of ours while it should be doing just the opposite--down-crying our immature wallowing in money. Our whole society is based on materialistic wealth, on consuming and buying and the power money can buy. But, at the same time, we feel shocked when we read of atrocities people used against each other long ago, people's cruel antics, their injustice, the inquisition, the torture and clash of swords, we wonder how any human could have acted so childish. But our own children, our decedents will ask these same questions about us, they will look at our antics with a vivid, living horror and ask how we could have acted so neglectfully; how could we have so stubbornly held on to our vaporous riches, even at the cost of breathable air and life giving water.
The World Watch Institute warns that our strong economy is actually blinding us to environmental catastrophes, leading to, "rising global temperature, increasing destructive storms, melting glaciers, falling water tables, shrinking forests, and disappearing species threaten the health of the earth and its people,…"
I was reading the Detroit Free
Press about women's history month and how women have finally joined congress
because we have been given rights unheard of a century ago and still
unreachable in a few other countries. In the same edition of the paper, there
were photos of women dressed in black in
I stopped reading and thought about
his words and then remembered other words of his, "These things must
be." Jesus has implied to me that
Any change for the better will probably mean we must increase our global awareness. At present, we throw out crumbs to other nations and peoples in need, crumbs are not enough. This finite world is just that, finite. We truly are living on a spaceship built by God. Technology will not save us from all of our own follies. Worse, in our own opulent country, we deliberately isolate ourselves from those who have less, this way, we can say, "We'll, I gave to charity, didn't I?" I hate that word charity.
Collectively
there seems to be a lot more we can do. Most especially the large
conglomerates, the world institutes, the banks, the agriculture and
manufacturing companies. Some large firms are doing that and some people are
single handedly making great changes. Then I read about a Rancher out west who
is buying up land to turn into a preserve. Another person in
I don't think people
need to live in poverty to save the earth but we must learn to use less of
everything and share what we have extra. Selfishness is the opposite of a
healthy world. Unfortunately our society doesn't have a mechanism set up so that
wealth could be shared if we wanted to. I know people who deplore that some
people don't have the basic needs for life yet they don't know how to spread
the excess they themselves have. The system of charity falls far short both for
the giver and receiver because it is a statement of class, an "I am better
than you" statement. Not good.
We need a more equitable means of distributing wealth. A mature and wise society would find a way to spread wealth and necessities around to all its citizens. But laws will not change our selfishness, it must be voluntary. One means would be a ceiling on wealth, definitely not created with laws, but created from pressure of pride, a pride that raises mature people above the triteness of wealth. A mature society would also limit its own growth. We all aspire towards living in a mature society some day, don't we? Then we should be working towards it now. And by growing mature faster we might save ourselves and our earth. Jesus has said to me a number of times, "Save earth," and when I asked, "How?" he promised to show me. As soon as I understand I will share it with you.
I keep thinking about his warning, "It isn't true is it? About the vortex? It's only a symbol, isn't it?" I asked. "If we don't create a vortex are we going to do something radioactive like they did on Silver World?"
"Both," was Jesus answer.
He did not elaborate or explain the extent of the radioactivity damage or about the scene Mary showed me because he wants me to figure it out myself. I remembered the view of earth Jesus showed to me once and how the earth would look if he had never been born. He showed me earth as a dead, black cinder turning in space. But he was born and he will help us save the earth.
Perhaps it isn't Jesus birth that will prevent the disaster, but his existence through time. He is still active on earth, and will not allow us to destroy it. I strongly suspect that if we don't eventually reverse our culture to a negative growth one, heaven will do it for us.
I am sort of shell-shocked. Earlier I wondered what I would put at the end of this chapter, Jesus replied, "You will know.” As if to imply that I would find the information I needed to complete it. I certainly did.
I began reading the last chapters in Cosmic Voyage and found that Courtney also fell into a vortex. He was directed to go there by Jesus. But the rest of his experience is the opposite of my own.
When he arrives at the vortex, he gets a clear signal of where life began. Jesus informs him he needs to know the reason for life. Courtney asks what he should do and Jesus tells him to go into the vortex. Courtney does and focuses on God within the center and how God loves us because we ended his loneliness and that he will never allow the demise of his creatures. Then Courtney experiences an explosive shift and great joy in God's new existence. Then Jesus tells him that this is the end.[61]
When I read this I asked Jesus, almost pleadingly, if I had misinterpreted my fall into the vortex and its meaning. Jesus said, "No." "You are right. We have been trying to show all who are willing to see the danger."
I remembered Mary telling me, "We all love you." And I didn't understand. Perhaps it is because I am finally picking up on the message they have been trying to send us for a long time. My mind swirled into its own vortex. Black holes, (my term not Jesus') are still only theories according to our science. It is supposed that one exists in the center of our Milky Way galaxy, millions of light years away and perhaps tiny ones are scattered throughout space. This puts the danger so far away as to be negligible, so I smiled.
"No," Jesus said again, "Earth space"
I haven't even had a first year astronomy class, so how can I understand if Jesus tells me where it is, I thought. But I'll certainly try.
I asked Jesus if he would give me more details.
"Yes," he told me, "At another time." But he added, "it won't make any difference because by the time earth's problem becomes observable to your science, it will be too late.
Then thinking of Courtney's words of God's great joy, I remembered The Source I had seen with Jesus and Mary. Was that the beginning, the joy I experienced as I watched life flow from the point source of God? Then was this dirty swirling ball of dust and light its opposite, the end point?
"No" Jesus said, implying that this only involves earth.
All this is really, really, unbelievable and I wouldn't believe it myself except that Jesus has presented it in such a way that its truth is finally sinking into my psyche. He is giving me the truth in stages and I am presenting it to you as I receive it in the hopes that you will believe it too. Really you could say that Jesus directed this second book so it would have its present impact. He is not finished either. He didn't instruct me to write a doomsday book without giving us some kind of solution. Remember he said he would show us how to save earth? I certainly hope he has a workable solution because I can't imagine one. For once my mind runs blank.
Jesus says the world will change for the better because it must. Thousand and thousands of people are writing, preaching, talking and acting towards this goal. It is safe to say that this is already an army, an army for good, a mighty force pushing and shoving our new found psyches together, outwards, and upwards, soul to soul, mind to mind, heart to heart. Here is a sample of what our new earth can grow to be.
We went back to the same future
time as before where I met the
acolyte trying to lift something off the table with his mind. At first we stood
on the same low hill as before with wild flowers and white rocks scattered in
the wild tall grass. In this way, I got
my bearings before we walked through the
We went into a home and met a family group. When we entered the home, as Jesus walked through an oblong door, he laughed, turned to me and said, "See, some things are the same.” And, "Yes" people group into families in this time because Jesus also said, "Families are back again." The people I met in the home were small and thin, with large eyes and small facial features, short hairdos and smiling. They seemed composed and gentile. They were aware of our visit to their home and seemed pleased. We had entered a large, round room with a huge window covering its whole circumference and lined with couches. This home was so large it was probably a place for many families ?
”No, I guess not."
Much of the earth is allowed to grow uncultivated. The population is sparse and grouped in nuggets around the world. People teleport to other planets and that is why few people are on earth at any one time. I met an extremely tall, sleek person who bent far down at the waist to smile and look at me. This person was not human.
Remembering earth's risky future I asked if we were on the old earth or a new one.
"Does it feel like earth?
It felt like earth, a much less crowded one, a sweet spring blown earth. Then the earth must have been saved?
Jesus did not answer.
I wanted to learn more about the people's ideas on the blight they had caused. I learned that many people want to relocate to the moon even though it won't support life because they have been persuaded into acceptance but also because they will be able to use gliding as a normal means of transport. The engineers are building the moon tunnels and caves to allow for the people's natural gliding abilities in lower gravity. To me, the choice for freedom would be easy, on the other hand, the ability to glide through the tunnels and caves of the moon may be beyond my understanding. But they will need to make oxygen and water out of rock with hard labor, which would force new social rules and rulers. I see clearly how easily people could loose their freedom if this happened..
Some Silver people also realize this. They want to stay on their world, to deliberately take a backward step from technology, to reawaken their souls and their natural surroundings. They also realize that they could be stepping into a dictatorship. They are afraid of loosing their freedom along with their world.
Jesus says they have some prophets among them who are telling them that the runaway microorganisms can be defeated if they relearn to join forces with spiritual and mental energy. But because almost half their world is already eaten up by the blight, many people have chosen to follow the leaders advice, they have given up. Some say that nothing will help and that God is dishing out a just punishment while people at the opposite pole insist that only God can save them. Their confusion reminds me of earth.
Unfortunately, their divided ideas and split factions of differing opinions are killing them. Jesus said if they could all agree to gather together and fight the organisms they could save their world. As it stands now, they have only a slight chance against the blight.
"Will they do it?" I asked.
"I don't know. Jesus answered me. All intelligences can make their own choices. It is this choice that determines the future course of events. Some events cannot be known until they happen."
I am suddenly reminded of the similar statements Jesus made about our own world's survival. He has said many times to me that there is only a slight chance of saving earth.
I certainly hope the people on Silver World come together to save their world. I picture people standing in a ring at every position around the blight and sending their love and mental energy towards its edges to limit its growth. Life against life. This is only my own fantasy. It probably isn't what Jesus meant.
At least now, I am not afraid of going with Jesus into the slums on Silver World, it can't get much worse. Tonight we went back to the forest glen. It was awesomely beautiful, more so now that I know how fragile its future is. We watched as, one by one, the silver glass people entered the green cathedral of forest and arraigned themselves into a circle. This very old form of worship was all that might save them. Sadly, their every word was being heard by dominant leaders who intend to manipulate the people's ideas to fit their own grasp for power.
I don't know why we came back to
this forest glen. Perhaps to realize anew its beauty and loss of hope. Jesus told me that our next visit
will be to the survivors from the other continent. They are now refugees living
in crowded conditions on the edge of the only viable continent left on this
world.
The first thing I noticed was that the people still have their natural beauty even surrounded by the dull colors and general messiness of the slum area. The sky is still silver, in fact, now that I think it, I haven't seen a change in the weather on any visit then again, why visit during bad weather. The ground where we walked wasn't covered with dew like inside the forest, here even the earth looked dull and lifeless. The houses looked unstable, built of wood and metal but, amazingly, there was large trim around the doors and a few windows. Fat trim decoration around openings must be a very strong cultural trait within this whole civilization but I suspect that the trim has utility purposes too.
Many children ran and pushed through groups of standing adults, like children do everywhere. Interesting that they weren’t immediately halted or disciplined. They looked somewhat tarnished to me but this may be because I expected it. One child's green outfit looked dirty and dull. I wanted to talk to a few children but we couldn't talk to any of these because they were surrounded by adults. So we walked through the crowds. There was too much going on for me to notice any details right away. I did see some people cooking in large pots on the ground and other people standing around talking, but our purpose was to find a group of children we could talk to.
At length, we found a group playing off by themselves near a tree. The trees in the refugee camp looked to be scarce and this one was growing by itself on the side of a small hill. We stood near the tree and watched the children run and play for a few minutes before one of the children noticed us. Curiosity overcame any fear the child could have had as she walked over to where we stood. Her eyes popped out like she was scared but she stood her ground and soon another child noticed us then another.
Now that we were visible to the children and had their attention, I couldn't think what to say. So I blurted out with the first words that came to my mind.
"You are very beautiful." I then reached out my hand to touch the child and she stood there and let me touch her cheek.
I had the sudden notion that I must look terrible to these children, like some old hag. I am almost sixty years old and my skin is an olive pink, definitely not silver. I must be the weirdest thing these children ever saw in their little lives.
Jesus suddenly said, "No," He told me that I am fine looking and young when I am with him, that I just look different to these children, not shockingly old or haggard.
The child didn't speak, but none of them ran away or moved, they all stood looking at us.
So I spoke again, "I have a message to give you before I leave, Try to save your world. It is very beautiful like you are." I smiled as we disappeared and don't know what they told their parents if anything.
When Jesus and I left, I asked him if heaven was trying hard to save these beautiful people and he assured me they were. He explained that there were prophets and speakers among the people right now, encouraging the people and trying to convince them to battle the growing blight on their world instead of giving in to the leaders demands.
He added the fact that this world was small compared to earth. That even before the accident that destroyed half of it, it's population was small, and the intermix of cultures much less complex. Their technology; though, is on a par with earth's. The land is also less varied with large tracts of flat areas, they had to resort to building their own cliffs in the sprawling cities.
Jesus said that my message to these children was good and because I was strange, it may hold a deeper outcome and import for them.
I hoped so, and also hoped there was enough time for one of these children to grow up and become a leader against the blight.
What can we do. Heaven must have known for a long time- perhaps heaven has encouraged our learning and discovery about the universe for this reason. I remember back to some of the disaster worlds Jesus told me about, On one world all the people got off but not the animals. I suppose if we began teaching spiritually to every one, even our children, we might be able to escape earth by the time it falls into the vortex or the vortex falls into us or whatever the last major disaster will be? This doesn't seem an acceptable solution because it lacks a very important item-earth. Earth, with all its fauna and animals and beauty. I suddenly thought of the whales, and Jesus surprised me by saying," The whales could leave." Still, it would be better if they didn't need to leave, better if earth could be preserved. I wait for Jesus to show us how to save earth.
When I saw a picture of a hurricane in the newspaper it grabbed at me, it looked like what Mary showed me. Could this be what I saw? Could I have been looking down on the earth from space and witnessing a huge hurricane? But this hurricane had no water at its edges, there was space all around it, unless it was a planet wide hurricane, impossible, how could any hurricane be planet wide? As soon as I thought of this, the idea felt right, as though a puzzle piece had just slipped into place. Still, most spaces remain empty.
Jesus tells me I already know the answer that I was born with the memory of what was going to happen so I could help prevent it. If what I perceive Jesus to say is true, then we need to start changing now. But even if we were to accomplish this great change how could we stop a huge round world like earth from moving towards this hurricane or vortex or other phenomena that is putting it in danger? I asked this of Jesus, "How can we prevent earth from dying?'
Jesus replied, "I will help."
I felt such a thrill as he spoke these simple words. His love seemed to surround me with comfort. This comfort was so engrossing that I neglected to ask Jesus how he was going to help or what was turning earth into a whirlpool or if the vortex was real?
If I follow this new knowledge backwards 2000 years and even further what will everything look like? All the warnings about saving our souls may look much different and clearer. Oh God it is terrifying. Jesus held me in his loving way as I said, "You knew 2000 years ago, didn't you, this is why you are on your way to earth now, this is why you will lift people off who are ready? This is what you have always meant by saving our souls from eternal damnation? Oh, it is to frightening, I can't imagine any person going the other way. I don't want anyone to fall into a black hole for eternity, even the evil one., no not even him. I want everyone to escape.
After my outbursts I realized that I was becoming dramatic again, that in all likelihood there wasn't a black hole growing to receive us but just a huge, world wide hurricane, a hurricane sucking into the earth like a tornado and lifting up the oceans into space? Am I being dramatic again. I better learn the facts before I leap.
But this is awesome, we, our souls are in great danger and like Jesus has mentioned in the past, "Not everyone will be saved." I can assure you, those of you who don't even believe you have a soul, that you do have a soul, and not only a soul but also one that lives after your body doesn't, a soul that lives forever. Imagine if you will falling into a black hole forever, sliding into a never ending time-status, neither growing nor changing nor moving nor falling, just a soul thinking upon itself--forever.
Do we need to escape into space. Perhaps learn to travel with our souls or move to the outer moons or asteroid belt. Oddly enough I visited organisms can and do live in space because they were genetically fit for their special environment, we are not.
Earlier in the day I was feeling hurt and lonely, so Jesus told me he would take me to a place in the universe that would make me feel better. After I watched Fraser and sat down thinking my million nightly thoughts and worries. I reminded Jesus that he promised to take me someplace special tonight. He smiled and I closed my eyes.
When I opened them, I had a hard time concentrating on what I was looking at. My mind seemed to keep drifting back to my own thoughts. First I would see a bright light then my mind would be thinking of my utility bills on the table then back to the bright light. Actually, it looked more like bright smoke when my mind finally was able to focus on where we stood.
We stood amid smoky colored swirls and twists of color all glowing like tiny streaks of lightning. It was as if we were inside an ocean of swirling dust motes. We were.
"These are minute organisms that can only be seen because they give off light and chemical energy. The tiny dots moved like schools of fish, schooling in one direction then another, swarming together in circles and crazy eights.
The strangest thing about this life was that we weren't standing on any world. We were standing in space. I could see clusters and single stars far in the distance. When the mist forked apart I could see layers of points of stars riding in their own clouds.
The life swirling around was thick but still transparent. Streamers of tiny organisms kept glowing as they moved near by. Each school glowed in its own color and then intermixed as one swarm flew behind another. The multiple colors were interesting and lively but I wondered how these organisms could live in the vacuum of space.
Jesus said that space is not a vacuum throughout the cosmos. These organisms were using energy from the far off suns to process their life force and the chemical interaction that keeps them alive.
I thought it so amazing that Jesus knew the whole of the universe so intimately.
Then he told me, "You could fill the universe too, all of you." He added, "you could go alone on many of these visits if you wanted."
"But I don't want to go alone. I prefer being with you."
Jesus smiled at my words as we left.
We are earth bound, we need land beneath out feet, preferably earth soil and could not live without it. We had better hold and treasure the soil we stand on now. Personally, I've always liked the Gaia hypnosis's, the idea that earth has the ability to compensate for changes in the various systems of biological life that is thriving and producing on its outer skin. Nevertheless, its compensating system can be overwhelmed just like out own bodies can succumb to fever and die. So even if the Gaia Theory is true, and there has been much debate about it, it isn't enough to save a very troubled earth.
We all have a beautiful life--all of us--even the very poor because we can breath air and walk on soil and look up at a deep blue sky. By this measurement, even the poorest of the poor lives an exquisitely, breathable, functional, fruitful life.
Tonight I was thinking of all the ramifications of the vortex, or hurricane and thought laughingly, "Well, at least now we have a common enemy" I remembered a science fiction story I read about once that pulled earth nations together to fight the common enemy of mankind and was thinking along those lines, that perhaps it is only a wish fulfillment of my own fantasies or maybe God put it there as a challenge.
Suddenly Jesus said, "It isn't a game, Diane."
He seldom uses my name when he speaks to me, this startled and sobered me. I get scattered and dizzy in my thinking sometimes. Jesus told me today, May 14, 2000, "We can detect it." Meaning that the vortex or whirlpool or black hole or whatever it is, is already churned into an eddy, a tiny spinning seed of itself?
Actually I was kind of hoping it was a game and could foresee kids at their new joy sticks already shooting down the enemy vortex and driving it out to space. I think I felt like becoming hysterical because I don't want to be the barer of bad tidings. A doomsayer. I don't want to be ridiculed for shouting, "The sky is falling." But Jesus said it isn't a game and I need to return to somber reality, or a sort of reality, I guess, back into the thick of it all.
What must Jesus think of me, I can't even take the most destructive future imaginable and not treat it as a joke. Perhaps this is hysteria? I don't know what's wrong with me. I keep playing with the idea as if it was only in my own head because I don't want to face up to the possibility of its reality? Perhaps it is because I am unhappy? So my unhappiness will cause all the earth to die. Will the vortex go away if I become happy? Dumb thoughts but hanging in there and needing to be thought like a wrinkled curtain needing to fall. But this is not a game, not a game, not a game.
Heaven can see it, whatever it is,
it already exists near earth, or on it, or inside it--and all I can think if is
myself, my own self image-Oh please Jesus have patience with me, your
stupid, little, minded monkey. To Jesus it must be like trying to have a
conversation with someone who can only listen every five minutes or so because
the person is busy fiddling while
Jesus spoke and said as he smiled at me, "I can be patient."
"So it isn't a joke? No one set it there to pull us together with fear, there is a black hole punching into another universe threatening to suck us up?"
Jesus said, "Something like that but not quite."
Now I need to wait for Jesus to tell me again what it is because I felt so scrambled at the thought that I couldn't understand or didn't want to.
In the New
Testament Jesus said "Let the children come to me, and do not
prevent them; for the
These small gentile children, who roam heaven's time waves, or at least a layer of heaven, have been trying to tame us, to teach us but they terrify us still. I am not sure why. I am afraid of the dark too, of seeing a slight white shape in the dark below the stairs or a small statue move into life or the dark beneath my bed or around corners where they still lurk from childhood. I am trying to decipher why our hearts pound in fright at their presence. Is it because they resemble us so much, they don't look enough like monsters? If we could see them in the light, would we still be afraid?
There is the answer I was searching for, they are not all of the light. Some work for the evil one, forced, I believe, to do his bidding like zombies. No wonder just the suggestion of their form strikes terror in our hearts. It may have been planned that way since we were children. As children we were more reachable, pliable, playable, and loving. But perhaps both sides have been calling and teaching to us, no wonder we are afraid and confused.
The subject matter is no less frightening. Led by these children through walls, what we thought was real becomes illusory, insubstantial, un-real. It is enough to scare us out of our wits? Our memories of them when we were children and the secretness that surrounded their presence, sometimes in the dark and being forced out of bed, can send chills up my spine thinking about it. Is it all true? Yes but remember what Jesus told me once, "Only a few work for the evil one." And those few are trying to imitate heaven. Most of these beings are like angels, angels in children's bodies, children trying to lead us down new life paths. They surly are more terrified of us, in our big lumbering, hairy, bodies full of muscle strength and anger, then we are of them.
I must have been visited by a group of them last night. I don't remember it at all but Jesus told me that I was angry and I let them know it. He didn't tell me so but it must have been the little Gray people who I vented my anger on. I hope I gave them an earful of my wrath. I don't know what I said but it probably related to their treating us as specimens. I believe my goal is to set up a meeting. If they need something from us to let us know and we may supply it voluntarily. I don't know if they can step into our sunlight but something could be arraigned. Also if we could see them on television or learn they are real and common to us, it would lighten our fear, which may also eliminate theirs. We could promise not to study or harm them in any way but we do need to satisfy our curiosity somewhat. Actually, Jesus said as much to Courtney in his book Cosmic Voyage. Jesus said that it was a law of evolution that we help others that we must.
I can already hear some of you enterprising readers thinking that maybe we could trade, we could give them what they need but they could teach us how to travel in time. Forget it. Could you imagine dinosaurs traveling in time. But besides that, it takes a certain mind-set to travel in time, not mechanical gadgets, they would probably be a hindrance. I suspect that we left our descendents so little to survive and work with that they had no choice to learn time travel with only their minds.
They have tried to teach some
children how to travel in time. Whitley Scriber's book,
In the
country estate and in
Whitley says that when he walked
the streets of
They also sent him very far back into the past earth where another human civilization exists. A more technological civilization than ours. They know a great danger is approaching in the way of an asteroid? Or something else from the heavens, which Whitley is shown, that looks like a hundred moons. He says this happened about 10,000 BC and that the whole civilization is destroyed by the impact, an impact predicted as Pisces moves into Aquarius as the Milky Way galaxy turns on its axes.
I quickly sit up and take note, was this what Mary was trying to show me? Something destructive is coming our way from the galaxy? An impact?
Suddenly I am irritated. I don't want to get into this aspect of a possible future or past disaster. A disaster only 10,000 years ago is too close, it was probably more like a 100,000. Jesus suddenly said, "At least that." But Jesus will not get more precise. He will never state dates or specific times perhaps because of the simple fact that he doesn't live in time as we think of it? All I can understand is that earth has had super civilizations in its long history that have been obliterated and completely destroyed except for the remnants of myths they left behind.
I began complaining that all mystic books finally end in doomsday ones, that no one will believe in any doomsday that might befall the earth. We have been too bombarded with this kind of scenarios and think of them as clichés, as jokes.
Jesus said, "They refused to believe in the times before Noah too."
"Yes, and people now-a-days don't even believe there was a Time of Noah." Because we can't find any scientific evidence for the flood; therefore, it follows that it must have never happened.
"They are looking in the wrong place." Jesus said.
Troubled, I mentioned to Jesus that we couldn't have an impact from the sky and a hurricane too because both events don't fit together.
"Yes you can," was his answer.
I didn't want to think about it any more, the idea needed time to worm around in my brain.
"It is necessary. We must discuss it soon."
"But I need time to think."
"Yes."
"If I am to write about a coming disaster then I'll need some facts and more information." I told Jesus.
Jesus said, "Facts put people to sleep."
No comment.
We went to the first clearing again because that made it easy for me to get my bearings then we walked to where the people were meeting. The circle was three and four people thick. Usually they were interlocked because that facilitated their concentration. (It may be the opposite on earth. It may be better for us to only touch with our minds when we are first learning because this will strengthen us). Each Silver World person or group imagines a section of edge of the blight to push against. It has been divided up into segments for this purpose. The prophet who whispered where the listening device was located had been explaining how to fight it. He learned from a dream that they needed to practice changing one particle at a time and keep practicing until they accomplished their goal, which seems impossible to them. They have exhausted all other solutions, all other hope, they have no choice but to try this new tactic or move off planet.
Most of the people decided to die rather than leave, that death was preferable. Still some held out, and don't sit in on the circles or join in the schedule of attack. Others keep at it day and night in valleys all over their remaining continent. When one group of people gets up, another takes their place. The children are even included and do quite well, better than expected.
Jesus has been explaining to me why their efforts against their government and blight may be successful. They group their cities and towns in small self-sufficient clusters. Although there is commerce between clusters, the commerce is not vital or necessary for survival. Their prayer centers are also arraigned in small areas that help them join in circular and join together as a strong unit with mental outpouring. A part of their culture reminiscent of evolution, their tendency to form into circles for prayer and discussion. By having their prayer groups normally in their suburbs and surrounding their towns and cities, as well as within them, they have an ideal mechanisms for creating a mental shield around their parameter. Jesus explained that heaven is trying to work with them and teach them what they need to know. And that because their plight has become so desperate, their life depends on winning, they will have a good chance of succeeding.
We wait for a few minutes because Jesus mentioned they are about to receive good news. They have the first evidence that their effort is pushing back the blight in some parts of the edge. (Up till now I have received much of this information in a burst or packet of information) As I watched, a person came running and jumping through the forest, almost gliding, up to the leader who was sitting at the edge of the circle and sang in a low pitched voice. The leader got up and trilled the news in a shout that sent the birds flying. Many people broke ranks. An older person from the middle nodded that they were to get back into formation, they probably would celebrate later.
Then Jesus took me to the refugee camp. We watched the people run around and glide off the roofs of houses and anything else they could find. The cities were lit up, it was night, and people were gliding everywhere. Silver streaks filling the sky. It didn't take long for the message to spread. It seemed like everyone was celebrating. After all, this was their first inkling that this method would work, and this was after long weeks of seemingly endless effort. All they had left to try had been visualization, they had sent tender thoughts of love and caring to the part that was still clean and without corrupted microorganisms. They had a right to be proud because they had learned to gather and concentrate mental energy to drive back and purify the ground. They did this by "knowing" that each tiny area of ground was clear. Eventually they could turn each small area into a clean spot until the whole blight was gone. They would drive it back through space/time as if it never happened and make each small segment clean again. With heaven's help, they learned to use time as part of their method, like going back to the Source of the Universe and re-weaving reality until this small segment never has been touched by the blight in the first place.
I am sure the people on Silver World will have a long struggle ahead of them, but now they have hope where before they had none. Oh I was so happy to see the lights and people streaking through the air and running and playing. But what does any of this have to do with earth? Our problem isn't the same as on Silver World, so how does all this apply to us?
No one has ever doubted that the world will end someday and perhaps the universe. Even our scientists agree that the world won't last forever but no one knows how or in what manner it will end. We tend to believe that it will be a long time from now, maybe someday the sun will go nova or during the next million years a comet will impact earth and destroy us like it did the dinosaurs. There is some speculation, oddly low key lately, that mankind might destroy itself with hydrogen bombs, but, even so, the earth would endure. Humanity only spreads itself over a thin layer of earth's skin, after all, even our oilrigs and mohe-holes can't affect anything deep inside the earth. Can it? Earth is big. And we assume, tamper proof. Yet, polluted rivers, land, and lakes are beginning to have disastrous effect on the rest of earth's animal life as well as our own. What would earth be without its vast cornucopia of life that spills in every direction over its surface?
Jesus has shown us what earth emptied of all its biological life would look like when he took us to Empty World in Travel book I. The world with the green and red striped sky, a tomb of blistering wind, harsh sand and floating mountains of rusted matter. I didn't know. My surprise was total. How did it happen? How will it happen? How will it possibly not happen?
I have a hard
time believing that the earth could
be moving towards such an immense emptiness and then I have a harder time
believing that the people of earth could ever prevent such a wide-ranging
catastrophe. Regardless, however Jesus teaches us to prevent it, it
will be directed at future generations, not our own. This current generation
can't limit carbon dioxide emissions effectively or make any major decisions on
a global scale. The World Kato Convention held in
Now it was May 18, 2000 and Jesus tried to show me about this hurricane but my brain just couldn't take it in--What plugged up my mind was Jesus statement that we, humanity, are causing this problem, this vortex or crack or flaw whatever it is. Yet Jesus and those in heaven can detect it. It is already apparent to them but we can't see it. This is too much. And I couldn't take it in so I begged off our talk and went upstairs to bed.
The next day, feeling refreshed, I decided to get a grip on myself and pull the questions and perhaps some answers out of a hat. I made a list of what I knew and still needed to know, so far.
What is it that will try to destroy the world?
1. Statements made directly by Jesus:
"Only earth space",
"We humans are creating it.",
"Heaven can detect it now."
This may be a flaw of some kind that they detect not as I assumed at first, a growing vortex.
2. It looks like a galaxy, hurricane, whirlpool, or vortex.
It may react with combined effects
already on earth,
3. Radioactivity or nuclear war.
He has already said we will have some radioactive elements to take into account, but he didn't say if it was the major problem or a part of it.
4. Something is coming? Does this mean asteroid near miss or impact? Or some other type of impact?
While I was reading about the nuclear
deterrence in the newspaper for
Some of these facts seem to
correlate with what Courtney said destroyed Mars. But he saw this through
remote viewing so there is no prior evidence that these events occurred;
nevertheless, I print it here because something strange did happen to Mars once
and I suspect humans were on it when it happened.
Cosmic Voyage chapter "The event that destroyed Mars":
Small object skims through thick atmosphere, creating high turbulence in area of intersection. Gradually, object caused a circular ripple to form in atmosphere, ripple grows into atmospheric tidal wave. Circular ripple meets itself on other side, bounces and passes through itself again and again. Eventually produces osculation's and vibrations and then resonance. Resonance becomes "primary driver of atmosphere conditions, swamping all other sources of influence, such as heat from the sun.
Apparently gravity was not sufficiently strong to dampen the osculation's quickly. Thus they continued for a long while." "The beings on the planet were affected gradually. all weather patterns changed. The conditions on the planet slowly began to deteriorate. Food became a problem, since crops could not grow. Rain became a problem. There were both floods and droughts eventually." Gradually the atmosphere was thrown off into space.[64]
Courtney admits earth's larger gravity would prevent this same series of events on earth. If this was actually what happened to Mars, it may also have caused Mars to move further away from the sun. Is that possible? Does this have any relevance for earth? Maybe. The vibrations are what I am interested in because they frighten me. I don't know why but they seem vital to earth's current problem. I have no understanding of planetary motions, wobbles, vibrations, or resonance's and I suspect as far as science goes, the subject is still greatly unknown.
I have read about possible pole shifts in earth's past, this may be what the Bible describes causing the flood in Noah's time. As Sitchin states in his book "The 12th Planet"[65] many writings from the Bible and Babylonian papyri hint that the Ross ice sheet in Antarctica slid into the ocean causing a flood around the world. But Isaiah even states at one point that, "Behold, the Lord maketh the earth empty, and maketh it waste, and turneth it upside down, and scatter abroad the inhabitants thereof…"24;18-20. And most of us have read Immanuel Velokovsky's book Worlds in Collision[66] where he sites evidence from the Bible that Mars kept swinging close to earth from outer space before it settled down as a new planet. He grabs our attention with Joshua's unbelievable tale of the sun standing still for a day and gives evidence that on the other side of the globe the sun didn't rise for a day. All this is speculation and much of it has been dismissed as untenable today, but perhaps it is time for someone to re-examine all the Biblical and historical evidence with a more insightful view. This I am not qualified to do, so its back to our questions and speculations.
We already have an anomaly at the Bermuda Triangle, which makes me wonder if there is a connection. This site may have begun as a ripple that became a vibration of space/time gone wrong, or out of kilter? Somehow the Bermuda Triangle may be tied in with the hurricane or problem? Only a guess but they could go together, one end in space and one on earth?
All these questions and I feel wrung dry. I can't figure any of it out. Jesus tells me that, "I know," it is why I was born, to help stop it. Hay! I didn't come here alone? Where is everyone else? Out there fighting and marching and coming together for a cause?
And why not just give me a simple answer instead of making me go through all these changes? I guess it's like Jesus said, "Facts put people to sleep," even me. Just this morning Jesus told me that events in my life will change soon. I waited for more but he then said, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."
And while I am throwing questions to the wind, I'd like to ask just who are these heavenly beings who detected the flaw? Could they be a group Federation in subspace as Courtney says, but there must be more to it than that and don't laugh, they may be the reason Star Trek lasted so long on television. These heavenly beings must be highly evolved in their own right, perhaps from many worlds, which can include angels and even great earth minds from our own past. More than that I can't imagine.
I know they are capable of setting up elaborate stage effects for our benefit. They will use props and do the acting out to convince us of their truths. An example would be Courtney's view of a being pumping ethereal matter from a machine at a person while he slept to awaken his spirit. After reading this I thought of angels pumping on a machine and sending white, smokey ethereal matter stuff into a person's head and I suddenly started laughing out loud. This scene is so deliciously funny and fake. What Courtney saw was obviously a set up created especially for his understanding. I still laugh whenever I think of it.
All we humans can understand are machines, hence, a machine pumping ethereal smoke. Reminds me of the flying schooner in full sail someone once reported. Courtney needed to see the stuff, see the spirit at work, so these highly evolved beings obliged him. It is not unlike my evolving view of God. When I first began seeing God it was almost like a stage set up from the Old Testament filled with fire and brimstone. I was given only what I could perceive and understand at that time, as a spiritual infant, I wasn't even sure I believed in God or heaven. Now my understanding has grown and I see God in a more mature light. God’s words have also changed to fit my ability to accept and give honor to them.
Even my vision of Jesus has changed over the years. He sometimes looks more like a man to me and less ethereal and luminous. This frightened me so much at first that I asked the angels, "It isn't the evil one is it, pretending to be Jesus?" They assured me it wasn't; although, Jesus and the evil one's facial features can be made to resemble each other, their aspects are as different as day and night. Their psyche and auras are different and they are both here on earth, at this time.
I have just read, in the Problem of Eschatology, that Francis of Assi's life was a "full blown imitation of Christ, who was ready to appear; Christ's coming was the news that Francis had to proclaim." I have a lot of faith and love for Francis of Assi, and if he believed Jesus was on his way, then I trust that he was. Jesus may have arrived and left without anyone noticing, God's kingdom may have passed by us in space. How many times has Christ come to earth expecting it to be ready, changed, and redeemed? Although I don't understand it, Jesus likes what I write here about his coming back again and again. Yet, he also tells me he is here now. He has said these words and similar ones to me a number of times. His holy spirit will always be with us but does Jesus come and go physically? As God’s Kingdom approaches, does Jesus' strength and power become stronger; is he more able to pour his spirit into us? So I ask again, how many times has Jesus returned to earth without being greeted by us. Did He come and leave with no one wise enough, pious enough, spiritual enough, imaginative enough, loving enough, to meet him? How many times will he come back to pick up his faithful? Not too many.
Jesus tells me, "One more time after this return."
After that there will be no other. Is this because there may be no earth to return to? Jesus has also told me that soon piety will infuse the earth like it once did during the dark ages of the 12th and 13th centuries. Though, I suppose, in a much different form, but according to Jesus, coming events will drive it forward, like cowboys herding cattle. This may be why Jesus and his angels are here now. And why I can't tell which direction he speaks from, he speaks from all directions calling all people to him.
In their time, the apostles knew immediately when a group had received the Holy Spirit. Their thoughts or awareness of each other was self-evident. They felt an immediate awareness of other people whose psyche has woken up.[67] Their ability to speak in tongues was mental telepathy on such a strong scale, it has been unheard of since the time of the apostles but is being reborn today. "The churches throughout the area grew in numbers" Is it because they were all feeling the wisdom and closeness of the Holy Spirit.[68] Much more evidence could be cited that Jesus' physical closeness may make his spirit stronger but I will leave it for your own search. You can flip back through pages of time in your own Bible and don't forget the history books; the middle ages are ripe with evidence that Jesus may have been near by.
A book called The Secret School by Whitley Strieber,[69] the same author who wrote Communion, has a few reveling ideas about time and taking trips through it. I mentioned his book earlier when I stated he had traveled to the past as a Greek slave with the help of mystery visitors. Those visitors showed him an image of their concept of time:
To them, the future is like a pool of water to their right, the past a block of ice to their left. The present is the force that fixes the potential that lies in the future, turning it into the ice of the past. They seek back into the past to melt, change, and re-create, then refreeze their history. Using this process, they can to an extent repair problems and imbalances in their present time. They can prophesy, but this does not involve predicting things that are absolutely inevitable. Rather, a prophecy is a warning. Its purpose is to identify dangerous future situations that are inevitable given present conditions, so that those conditions can be changed. In this sense, the best of all prophets must always be wrong, because the dangers that they see are averted by their prophecies.[70]
Also if we consider time as being 'always there' as in quantum physics, then all events are happening all the time, at the same time. Our understanding of time or space is still limited to what our scientists search for. Its is like a searchlight in which we select what area we choose to study, not necessarily what may be really there behind the scenes. People of all manner of cultures are surly living in the present and past someplace, on earth and off, living their lives as if we don't exist yet, and to them we don't. We could be walking through their ghost lives as we walk down the street and don't even know it. I am sure the people in our future walk through us like ghosts but they use mental and/or a physical method to deliberately travel through time.
Imagine the world learning, growing, and spinning itself as it moves through space. At once creating one solid twisting worm through time with all the lives ever lived left behind us but still living on the worm--our lives only the latest if its creations on the moving earth. Then multiply this throughout the solar system, all planets moving and growing their own worms. If we were to try to visualize the world worms as being in the present now and solid at this time we probably wouldn't have any black vacuum space left, it would all be filled with solid earths and planets of different forms and times.
Thus the idea of time and evolution and growth through time and perhaps the cycle or turning of time can be ascribed to cultures reverting back to the tribal life. At some point, maybe all technological cultures choose the tribal way of life. Perhaps we all will some day because it seems to me that an egalitarian culture is what Jesus and all the other moralist teachers were trying to tell us would be the most perfect way to live. Jesus tells us to love one anther, to share with each other, to honor one another just as the people living in an egalitarian culture might do, at least among themselves.
I don't think I have strayed from the subject too much because Jesus, as I have said before, must see time as vastly different than we do. He may also have use of it in ways we can't fathom. So Jesus may have come to earth many times and Jesus may know more than we do about our future and understand more about how to teach us to sit up and take notice. It is up to us to listen.
One night, I had a very strange memory about the future. I felt it was a memory rather than a dream just as dreams can sometimes be past memories. A couple hundred people were sitting in rows of seats on a shuttle to Mars. We were supposed to be tourists but we had secret plans to hijack the shuttle and stay and live on Mars. Somehow we had it all planned out to hide so we couldn't be found when it was time to go back to earth. I was walking down the isle and checking if people had their hidden supplies packed. They nodded that they were ready. The dream never did explain what we thought we would use for oxygen or how we would grow food. We must have had some kind of plan worked out. I only relate this dream because, if there is any truth to it, then it shows that in the near future we will still be ornery and fanatical and mixed up. We will still not be conserving earth's resources and may have spread our blighted emotions, technology, and war mentality to Mars. If this is true, I feel a great doom hanging over our heads and that of earth.
At a funeral tonight, I suddenly asked Jesus "if I was coming back to earth by choice, was it for the same reason that most of us come back, because we don't want to leave life?" Do we hold on to earth with our souls only because we loved our lives? Jesus said that I will choose to come back, after we take the time to travel around the universe which we can do in a moment of infinity if we choose. My purpose will be to live again and find my personal job, the one I will be born to accomplish. Jesus also told me that I will only come back one more time. He didn't say why. He didn't say if it was because humans will have grown in maturity or if, I shudder to remember the image, the world will not be fit for life. It is still a toss up, however the dice will fall, so goes the world. Only God knows.
Saturday during Mass Jesus appeared as The Sacred Heart and seemed to float high
above and to the right of me. I needed to look up toward the alter to see him.
He was very large and present and asked me to stay with his presence throughout
certain parts of the mass, even during the priest’s sermon. He told me one of the reasons was so that I
would understand that he had been next to me during last weeks at mass also. It
was then that he looked like a man. He said, "We are one and the
same," meaning the man I saw and The Sacred Heart. This day, there was no
doubt in my mind that it was Jesus. Interestingly, we were in
When I got home I looked up the word "practical" The dictionary definition states its exact meaning as "useful and sensible." I hoped not too sensible. Perhaps I should try and be less practical, learn to play more?
One thing I learned was that when we gather, it can intensify Jesus presence. In fact, he told me that we would be surprised at the mental imaging and work we could do in small groups. We need to begin to pray in this way, use mental imagine as an addition to our regular prayers. Imagine if the idea could grow? We could eventually have Mosques, on Fridays, Synagogues on Saturdays, and Churches on Sundays all of us mentally imagining the blue earth between our hands as it gently turned. An earth where we use mental energy to lesson the effects of storms, draught, or hurricanes. An earth where people connect people together hanging in the sky. An earth where people hang above the earth and hug each other.
I imagine a prayer where we float above the blue, fleecy sky of earth, hugging and pulling more and more people up to join us in a silver net made of light. But Jesus said there was more that must be added to my wistful prayer and that he will instruct me at a later time what to include in it. Something like quieting the weather? Calming earth deep inside? Really I don't know so I'll wait for Jesus.
I may have strayed a few times from the subject, but what I have written so far, Jesus agreed, is ok because I am floundering and questioning and striving for the answer. This is what he has encouraged me to do all along. But when I saw a photo of a hurricane in the newspaper, I felt a jolt of recognition. Could it be so simple? Is the weather unstable and unbalanced. Top heavy, so heavy that it will topple over into a pole shift? But what could our minds have to do with weather? In Conversation with God, God said that it is the people living on a planet who control or destabilize the weather. When I first read this I was amazed, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense to me. Why not begin that control now?
It all has to do with balance? All my questions may be correct because we now stand on the brink overlooking a cliff and it won't take much to push off over the edge. Any event will do. The most vital element or problem may be so deep inside the earth we don't know it's there. Last week there was an earthquake five miles down towards the center of earth, an unheard of depth for an earthquake or so the news reported. This may be what causes the earth to eventually wobble itself out of alignment? The major danger is an H-bomb from a rogue nation. Could this set it off? Would it affect depths of earth?
The next major element to look at
is that our technology is heating up the earth's atmosphere. The Ross ice sheet
is on a slippery slide of water, precariously balanced and close to sliding
into the sea. With the conditions gathered so far, who needs an asteroid but we
could get one close enough to earth or near enough to set off
the
Still all
this is only speculation, all I have is a vision from Mary showing me an event of world
wide proportion that I have not been able to define yet and a promise from
Jesus that I need to. Jesus was right, I am too
practical, I need to go out and play. I did. I took a few kids and my dog and
we went for a walk on Belle Isle. The sky was cobalt overhead and didn't
lighten up until I looked across to
I wanted to visit the people who Courtney describes as working in the Galactic Federation. So Jesus took me to visit these highly evolved beings and I thanked them for helping earth. I didn't' stay long at all, just a few seconds because my mind hasn't been up to par lately because I have stopped taking my medicine and my body is still adjusting. So I could hardly focus while I was there and so was upset and asked Jesus if stopping my medicine was making my mind slow. He assured me that I will adjust. He added that we were going to visit many places through out the years. Then he told me, "Hold out your hands. I want to give you something."
I closed my eyes and held out my hands. Suddenly my hands got very heavy and so I opened them. There, between my two outstretched hands, hung the earth. Its blue oceans and fluffy clouds revolved as I watched with my mouth open, gaping at its beauty. Oh, its beauty was overwhelming. As I watched a wispy string of clouds stretched around its circumference above the deep cobalt ocean and other clouds of fluff gathered and dispersed. The continents peeked through in green splotches and tiny polka dots bound with ribbon. Until finally the heaviness outweighed my gawking curiosity and as I lowered my hands the earth disappeared. I will never forget this gift from Jesus. I will hold it always in my heart forever.
When we arrived at our next visit to Silver World, the people were in a huddled meeting. Suddenly government solders came out from the trees and shot the people as they prayed. Jesus explained that they were not killing them, but drugging and dragging the people off in a covered cart. They are conscripting the people into service for the government. They are being put on ships and taken to the moon base. Once there they are forced to work the mines and farms. The government has recently banned all such gatherings so they are criminals that are meeting and huddling that way. This was being done in secret for a while but word spread about what were happening and the people began doing their prayers in secret with lookout to give warning.
We moved a short time ahead - suddenly they were at war. There was a lot of fighting. The government still didn't kill many people because they wanted to send them to the moon. The people needed to kill those in power though. They didn't have the luxury of just drugging their enemies.
I watched as a Silver person amid the forest was on his hands and knees crying over a dead body that he had just killed. Jesus said their civilization had been stable for a long time and without a recent war. This was hard on the people. I watched as one group was surprised by attackers but fought back, fires were raging in some places, cities were emptied because the people were hiding in the forest. But why? I asked.
Jesus said that their government truly believes it is for the best, that it is the only way to save the people but many are in the thrall of power and want to keep their power base strong. They need a slot of manpower to keep and run a moon because it is a false environment but also serves as a perfect prison.
In the meantime, people need to hide and pray and use their mental abilities to hold off the blight. They are putting most of their effort into war and not enough effort into pushing back the blight. At this time, it is in a holding pattern, just enough to hold back its growth but not enough energy is diverted to it to clean it up.
“But they were successful!” I wanted to scream. If they had been allowed to keep praying, they may have eliminated the blight?
Those in power, they had the resources, money and government machinery in place to disregard the people's success. They said it was an illusion, and that the people who believe it were working for evil, were really killers of their future. But it is the people in power who are the killers. That was what started the continental war.
It is a large continent with one central power for government and only a few small nations on the fringe. So when the war began in earnest, the people were at a great disadvantage by surprise at the ruthful ness of the government.
Both sides believe their future depends on winning the war.
“Stop it,” I kept wanting to yell at them, “Stop it.” But I was only a ghost image, unable to even pluck a leaf off a tree. I begged Jesus please can't you stop them. We are doing all that we can, he assured me.
I can't believe they could be so ignorant. It worked! the blight was succeeding?
What's the matter with these silver people. As I said this, many silver bodies lay on the dew-wet, green bushes and leaves in the forest. Struck down by government army forces and waiting to be transported to life off planet. A life of servitude and slavery.
The people didn't know how to make bombs but they were learning and finally were attacking a few of the lift off points. I couldn't stand it. It was too stupid and ignorant and wasteful. My emotions were pumping adrenalin and fear and disgust. While they played at war, few were active at prayer--it was left to a few women and older people. I was horrified and worried. I can't bare it, I told Jesus and we left. I carried thoughts of Silver World with me through out that day.
Jesus and Mary took me on a visit tonight. We traveled through a vast white sphere. We kept going through this total white space, on and on. We went deeper and deeper into it, so deep into the whitish sameness that I was beginning to feel disoriented so Mary gave me a red rose to hold in front of myself. It was the only thing not white; we were in a total white-field, non-space with nothing seeming to move or stir. I couldn't see Jesus or Mary or myself either so the deep red rose glowed as if a beacon lighting my way.
Finally, after a long, long time, I began to perceive faint shadow rings dancing on the periphery of my vision. As we kept moving inward, the huge shadow rings glided past us intertwining and superimposing upon each other until they become slightly more visible in spots. A number of times along the way I almost lost my concentration, then almost totally at one point until Jesus suggested we wait for another day but I refused; by now I was intrigued and curious and determined to go on.
Then I began to see a spark here and there flaring just at the edge of vision. Then more flared up, brightening into tiny suns then disappearing in different colored puffs. We kept going forward past the spinning shadow rings which moving around us in wild gyrations now, until I was suddenly and completely surrounded by a million white beings. White against white, lights within lights, angels. Uncountable whitest of white angels moving forward and receding in vast numbers, clouds forming and evaporating everywhere I looked.
One angel floated up close to me and I noticed that the being closely resembled a human except for its glow of white light like radiance. The angel's words were strange, "We are amorphous," it said to me and disappeared back into the milieu. I knew what the word meant nevertheless looked it up later. Amorphous means formless. A unique definition for these glorious, flowing life forms, I am sure.
I understood that their purpose in life is to go to different worlds and help spread light and love. Hearing our prayers, they congregate in the empty space between words and thoughts using our prayers like highways to send love and healing on its way around the globe. They are what Jesus calls "Love Beings" Their joy is spiritual love, it is these angels who by spreading their spiritual light, keep the darkness at bay. They move as a spirit moves and did not have or need wings.
This angel took me further into their world or space because it wasn't solid like we think a world should be. As I went deeper, the area I floated in became more colorful until it was filled with dappled pinpoint mixtures of formless smoky, hues of light. We seemed to make a circuit around before coming back to where Jesus and Mary waited. I picked up on the notion that their color or nature of invisibility changed as they used up their energy traveling to the different worlds. They stay invisible to our physical earth minds unless our love grows very strong and we will ourselves to see them. They are lovely and joyful and constantly bask in God's presence and love.
Later that night, thinking about their beauty and invisibility, I wondered how they might have evolved or is it possible that some beings did not need to evolve, could they have been born as mature beings? The idea is almost inconceivable to our way of thinking but I couldn't imagine any kind of flesh they might have evolved from, and wondered if they had been forever insubstantial and made out of light. Why not? What do we know about the other myriad forms and diversity of life in God's universe.
We humans have a number of concepts of angels and try to categorize them into levels or hierarchies but in truth there are probably as many numerous kinds as we have ideas for. Some beings that we would consider angels are really people like ourselves come down to earth for various reasons. Some other beings are messengers for God, like the two angels who held my shoulders when they took me to an audience with God. Then some are like these cloud people who carry our prayers aloft for us. I also know that some beings that we would label as angels are not angels at all but people from other worlds and time, some our own ancestors, who remain invisible to us for their own reasons. Then there are the beings who help the adversary do his work against us, but let's hold on to the light and shy away from dark thoughts.
I have thought about the feelings we get from spiritual light and asked myself what gives us our sense of "the sacred." When I went to a small church-corner gathering on Chane they prayed and sang and held hands but still, I waited for the feeling of the sacredness but could only feel its absence. The closest I got to the feeling of holy was when the leader held his hands up towards the sunlight and prayed in silence. When he did this, I felt like he was seeing and talking to Jesus just as I do, and that he was wrapped in sacredness at that moment, but it was not shared with the congregation. On the whole, the service seemed incomplete, a sense of the holy was missing from the service. And this even though there were many people pulled in from the streets to join the later cookout, those who don't usually join any church service. I was proud to see so many from this derelict neighborhood worshiping, praying, and singing. I wondered if the problem could be inside myself, caused by my own expectations and my prior conditioning. Just what was I looking for, anyway?
I tried to think back over the times and places I have felt "the sacred" of Christ during a service and what elements were there at the time. Personally I have felt sacredness in numerous churches at various times. Certainly not at every mass in every church. Some churches I hardly seem to find it at all while at others I find it often. This is odd because some churches are popular and full while some empty but the best working churches are not necessarily the most sacred, for me. Does this seem strange?
What do I mean by the feeling of sacredness? Does it depend on my own personal mood? What elements seem necessary? At least a sense of quietude? The holy reaching into my soul and joining within it? These qualities and more. Perhaps its effect is more pronounced during our wakening, the time when Jesus seems to call each of us to his side, when we have found him again after being lost. During that time when Jesus is pulling us back into his heart we are so open that Jesus every whim and teaching seems everywhere. But as time has moved on, my own ability to feel the sacred has grown, so much so, that the sacred awe touches my psyche so deeply it becomes more than I can bare. I sob with the pain of delight.
Does it depend on who is doing the religious service and how well the priest or preacher conveys their own feelings to the group? Or does it rather depend on our own receptivity and love for Jesus? Certainly people are necessary for the feeling during a gathering, but at what point does it reduce to only a gathering instead of a possible joining in love with the holy? A peace march is a gathering but no one expects it to give people a sacred experience like we expect at a Sunday service. Although, for some people, perhaps a gathering of this nature does become a sacred experience. Since God is everywhere, why not the feeling of sacredness everywhere? Yes, I may be looking for too much in too little space, or not enough in all of it and my speculation gives us food for thought only.
I have felt this sacredness during my own personal meditation but I don't feel as if I could ever impart it to other people. This is a job for preachers and priests and other workers of the Devine. I have noticed that very often I come out of church after Sunday mass, feeling empty, as though it had all been a waste of my time. Yet there are those few times when the smiles and handclasps seem exceptionally beautiful, close, and loving. When strangers seem familiar and joined in oneness. When the holy seems to hover above the alter, when a few words in the sermon or gospel can send me into a spasm of love or sorrow for Christ, or a song brings tears to my heart even though I have heard it numerous times before but never in quite in the same way. Is that what we all wait for, the specific time when the Devine seems to step down and hug us. And does it depend on anything but ourselves, God, and the opportunity of place?
I have noticed that certain priests seem to radiate this sacredness but not necessarily because of the mass. A visitor priest helping with throats, was like that, I felt his holiness as it glowed through his face. Certain people who constantly help with the service at a church also seem to glow at times with Jesus love inside them. Just recognizing them can make my heart flutter for Jesus.
What does this sacredness have to do with the fruits of our labors? We can pull hundreds of people in, but how do they get a sense of sacred? Is it a matter of setting an example and making Jesus available to many people during a cultural ritual so Jesus can more easily facilitate in them a sense of his being? The feeling is personal and deep but perhaps the setting must also be open and prepare us to receive the Devine?
Just recently I read that Bible disks were being put into cereal boxes so people could put them on their computers. But my first thought while reading about this was, "It isn't owning the Bible that is important, but living it." Will anyone read their computer Bible? Will they then live by its precepts? Could this help Jesus touch their souls and give them a first feeling of his sacredness? This may be the purpose behind the Bible gift and who am I to dispute the possibility of its happening, but somehow I doubt the quality and method behind the gift. It seems too much like propaganda to me. God must always be a free choice, which is what he has given us.
I am going to search out this feeling for sacredness and take note of where and how I find it from now on because it seems vital for humanity's proper growth. A definition of the “Sacred verses profane” in Exploring Religion[71] Sacred is the same as holy according to Marcea. Eliade. He says, "What I mean by sacred is really a sense of the Devine or a feeling of holiness emanating from God's entrance into a person." He adds that it is a rite of sacredness because it would depend on individual mood and feeling, and that there is probably not a place or event that would give everyone a sense of the holy at the same time?
Jesus smiles at this because he intends for exactly this to happen one day. An awesome request of humanity, don't you think.
I went to church on Saturday because the service is smaller and more intimate and thought I might more easily find the sacred. Jesus promised to tell me when we got to the most sacred point of the mass. Although any feeling of sharing in the Devine during a religious service or any place, for that matter, is ok, when the priest began saying "Take this bread and eat it for this is my body which will be given up for you," Jesus said, as a few tears fell from my eyes, "This is the sacred." I sobbed as the priest said "Take this wine for this is my blood which was shed so that sins could be forgiven…" Of course I knew it was, as I wiped my eyes, I knew it before, I have always known that Jesus sacrifice is "the sacred." It is the greatest gift ever given to humankind, it changed history, our understanding of God, belief in the afterlife, the practice of religious ritual around the world, to say nothing of the disgraceful animal sacrifice it eventually replaced or stopped. Jesus asked us to commiserate how he gave his life for us and we have kept that remembrance for two thousand years. I had found what I came looking for--the sublime sacredness of Christ.
What about the deep feeling of sacredness I experience during meditation? It isn't directly related to Jesus sacrifice, but it does depend on my love for him, and Jesus often joins me during meditation using this quiet time to instruct me in how to use the new mental energy God gave me.
When we feel the sacredness well up within us we understand that God has entered into us completely, filling our mind, body, and spirit with presence. But we couldn't have this feeling, at this depth all the time and still function. We must remain content to have only smatterings of sacredness when and where we can stumble into its presence or could it always be there within and without us, waiting for us to notice? We all joined in this body, mind, and spiritual existence.
God = mind because all existence is within his mind.
God = body=personality=psyche=we are physical beings swimming in the mind of God.
God = spirit=our soul can expand to the whole universe.
God = the universe.
We in the west will only allow Jesus to have the trinity, father, son and Holy Spirit, but we all share in it, we are all holy. Western psychology, as Amit Goswami, Ph. D. says in his book, The Self-Aware Universe, does not go far enough to include the soul or "cultivating the awakening of buddhi."[72] It stops at the mind/body duality. As he argues, much more eloquently than I can, in the opening chapters, the unquestioned materialism of the west has been a barrier to further spiritual progress. He quotes Mother Theresa's observation when she rightly said, "Americans are materially blessed but impoverished in spirit."
I hope to change this. Heaven will change it. I have begun teaching children how to touch their soul through meditation, I help them imagine their spirit helper (some neighborhood children are not Christian) and how their spirit will take them anywhere they wish to go. This doesn't seem like much but for children it is a beginning towards discourse with the spirit. This is what Jesus wants from all of us, to know and talk to him. It doesn't matter what name they call their spirit helper because Jesus is God and consequently always within the spiritual awareness of every person. I hope to begin teaching adults a similar method of meditation but many adults may find it harder than children to imagine their own spirit. As adults we can become afraid of leaving our bodies behind or loosing ourselves in the spirit.
It will be worthwhile
for all of us to learn more about our spirit. Jesus tells me that we will be
surprised how well our minds work as groups if we once learn to coordinate them
together. This group mind may still not be measurable to us but its effects
might just barely be, over time. When I think about what the average person or
a group's mental energy can do about the future there is only one thing I can think of, setting
aside some time for mental imaging like we set aside time for prayer and to
begin teaching our young people now about meditation. More than that, I don't know
what we can do? Would
it be enough? So far we don't have enough concrete evidence that mental energy
or even prayer works; although, many of us believe it does. Is it more examples
we need or miracles?
What are we talking about when we refer to mental energy or prayer? Mind and its non-locality? And space time? Travel? We travel because we "know" we can. We know when we get there. Plus there are no hindrances to our being there because of non-locality of mind. Is it also because space is so vast and various that it can absorb a mistake without notice. Not so in a small system or area perhaps. It becomes harder to "know" you have traveled the closer you are to yourself? There are obstacles built up and magnified along the way? Simple leading to complex?
I am just guessing but this may also hold true for mental energy and prayer that can steady the earth's tremors and shudders, the obstacles to prayer reaching into the bowels of the earth may be so few as to be almost non-existent. This, of course, also holds true negatively, for our psyche traumas, our arrogant thoughts, and our inconsiderate life styles. We aren't just raping the earth physically but mentally, as well. We are giving and sharing with the earth our sick vibes.[73]
When we pray for the earth or attempt to visualize it, I think it is important to note that exact location or any specific location is not always necessary for viewing or imaging. When we visualize the damaged fissure deep inside the earth, we don't need to know its longitude and latitude and depth, in fact, we don't have any of this information. Visualizing its presence that it exists is enough. Then we can go on from there to pray for or visualize its release. This relives us of the need to be strict and precise and gives us the freedom to keep focused on the job at hand. Most of us are not adepts at mind control, it is enough that we try and concentrate, and then let Jesus and the angels do the work.
This also holds true for pulling a person up to join you as you hug the earth. Focus on any specific type of features, wither facial features, race, or dress or some other item, just pull that person up to you. If the person resists strongly or even refuses, no matter, just go get someone else. Do not expect a person you know to admit or even understand they have been pulled up to hug the earth. Actually it is better to stay unanimous, just pick any human at random, this causes less strife and psyche trauma to your own expectations. Later when you get proficient, you can try with people you know. But if you expect too much, your disappointment may hinder your own abilities to focus on your meditation.
I am becoming afraid that it is too late for most of us. That my book is for the next generation of survivors who may be able to better take stock of their own nature and do something about it. If earth's survival in any way depends on togetherness or group mental powers to control the forces of nature, we have a very long way to go to the goal. The Bible hints that we should have this type of mental ability some day in the statement, "The lion will lay down with the lamb." Because who will lay them together if not us with our greater ability to control our surroundings? So there may be hope after all.
Mental energy and thought may always surround us. As I become more used to traveling, I find that whole packets of information impinging on my awareness at once when I enter an unknown place with Jesus. I automatically understand the scenario. I always did up to a point but never noticed it before but now this ability has grown stronger the more I travel. I still need to ask many questions but at least now I can pick up if a person is male or female or what is happening right away if not why it is happening.
My own methods are easy but you may find your own or read about a different method, that is certainly acceptable. When I sit down, I sort of defragment my mind. I let my mind wonder in and out of the past day and beyond. Sometimes I play with ideas, sometimes I daydream and hope a little because my life can be dreary at times, and we all need hope. Sometimes I spend a long time at this cleaning house process, sometimes not, but eventually I settle down to my real job and purpose once these scattered pieces are set to rest. This is when Jesus takes me somewhere, talks to me or I begin to meditate..
It is different in the early mornings, then I often get into a lotus position on the floor and feel the golden light penetrate and cover my whole body. I then try to send it out and share it with the world. I practice gathering the light into myself because it is too vast to fit all at once. It is all golden, all the universe of suns in a solid sheet of golden light like an ocean made of gold. Jesus is within this golden river of light. Jesus is the gold as God is the gold as we are the gold.
I see in the future that my simple gift to the children will spread around the world reaching even into the most poverty stricken areas, to the children in Mexico's slums, Romania's sewers, China's sweatshops, India's homeless, and Africa's ragged hoards. Many of these children can't buy a book but I will reach them anyway through meditation; eventually they will learn to use the mental energy, maybe sooner than others because their need is greater.
Here, children, is my gift to you: How to touch your soul.
Begin by breathing slowly, in and out, quite your mind, relax your body, close your eyes and go into the light. The light expands as you enter. This light is your spirit helper, a part of your soul. Tell your spirit helper where you want to go, your soul will take you there. When you come back, tell your spirit helper “Thank you.” As you grow in spirit, learn to hug the people of earth. But Remember-oneness can't be imposed from without. It can only grow from the heart. You will keep growing in life until your soul fills the universe.
I am still growing, like a flower, God's flower. I keep growing in wisdom but I still need to learn to control myself better, I will. I am not without help as I develop. My own spirit helper watches over me during my training into becoming. This same training that you will have if you choose to walk towards the light. I was born with a natural mental ability that was almost burnt out of me at an early age. It has taken all these years of life and growth to begin replacing these gifts. Jesus has been training me but I realize I still have a long way to go-into forever.
In the last chapter of book I, God said he would show me something. I have waited all these months and it was definitely worth the wait. The next few pages complete the chapter God's Show. This gift is so superlative and grand that I don't know how to convey its essence. Its beauty is almost more than any mortal being can absorb and handle. I am wondrously awed by this eternal moment. It's so regal and imposing that it could only be given to me in stages of development. I will try and write these stages of how it was presented to me.
During meditation I was surrounded by a group of highly evolved beings. A great soft and penetrating light hovered between us in the form of a globe. One of the beings said to me "you have been given a great gift." I recognized its greatness but I questioned how I should use it and to what purpose. I even had to ask how I should carry it and was told to "carry it within yourself."
This I have done since it was given to me. Sometimes I perceive this light as a nugget within my body, at other times I see this light as infusing my whole self and radiating outward in waves. Jesus told me that as long as I always remember to send the golden light outwards when I use it to share with others, I will never need to worry about misusing its power.
The next stage of the gift was given to me when Jesus showed me how to use the light energy. He told me to hold a person's hands in mine to share God's golden light with them. I asked, "but what should I say?" Jesus replied that "It doesn't matter what you say, you don't need to say anything."
I need to explain the next development differently because it is a place or understanding of God's being. I see myself walking on golden ground. All around me is gold, everything in the room, everything in the world, has converted in substance into this golden type of matter. As I move further into the golden world I recognize that nothing is differentiated in type, everything is made of golden God Stuff and God light. From here to all parts of the Universe is God's substance and all parts are within this golden substance as if I were in an ocean composed of only God.
Often, because the total ocean is too much for me to handle, I revert to surface texture of God's ocean. This is when it becomes a golden light shinning on a water pond. Waves move outwards in all directions. Reducing it further, I see a golden drop of liquid fall into the surface of the pond. Here I find God's eternal moment. Here the drop ceases to fall, the waves remain in stasis, the air forgets to blow, the birds stop singing. My heart seems to stop in mid-beat and my breath whispers away into silence. All is stilled. Time stands on guard at the palace gate. All breezes cease while even traffic horns and tires forget to roll in this soundless fraction of eternity--then the drop of golden water fattens and stretches in an elongated taffy string as it splashes into the next wave. My breath expels marching to time's rhythm once more. The golden city dissolves into sparkles of light.
Another development came with Jesus sitting across from me in a lotus position.[74] I
saw a million suns gather into one waterfall and pour downward
into my soul. This golden flow, I understood, was to help me visualize that I
was a fountain through which God's energy could flow. From
this fount energy could flow outwards into the population as was needed. I felt
its soft godliness fill me to bursting and then I let it flow beyond myself in
a spectral galaxy of golden nodes that reached far away. With Jesus' nod, I
then played with the light pouring out braiding it and twisting it rivulets and
different shaped streamers as though each shape had different meaning and I
were the weaver of patterns. I sent this flowing stream into
The next stage was walking on God's golden universe again and again realizing everything was intertwined and continued flowing as if made of one substance. Then when I was about to leave Jesus said I was not finished. I looked around and saw beneath my feet lay a cloth like pattern of brocaded silk. This brocade was made out of red and different other colored threads running down its length in swirls and turns that represented life flowing throughout the universe.
The last step, so far, was when we entered the brocaded cloth, a symbol of the complexity and intertwining of reality, even further and it is what left me so breathless with wonder. Jesus took me down into and between the threads of the brocade of pastel threads that represented the flow of life. Suddenly the brocade and thread turned golden and converted into God's ocean. But as we followed a single thread, grown huge, it turned into a beautiful transparent flower like image, larger than life. The flower was a life, its soft transparent petals turning and swaying in a unique dance for this single life force. All of this being’s life was represented by the flower petals moving and turning as if in a gentle breeze amid the brocaded threads that interwove within it. This life's past, and future and present circumstances moved within the current of golden time. I could see small fragments defraying at the flower's edge and Jesus reached over and smoothed the edge with his hand. The transparent flower shape now rippled as if greeting a master.
I felt like
crying with delight. The flowers petal formations rose above my head swaying as
if to the gentle waves of butterflies multiplied in flight. As we rose above
the garden I saw births and deaths in flower form as inter-wrapped threads that
rewound and rewove further down the brocade of life. Suddenly I realized we
were in God's Kingdom. The same golden forest and sky that I
had visited before had come alive with actual beings who lived and breathed and
walked on multiple worlds. God's garden had become the cosmos and a reflection
of each life living within it. Each swaying flower a perfect mirror reflection
of treasured life, a pulsing throb of
pastel roots and golden sky in one vast
I let out my breath as tears of joy swam in my eyes reflecting Jesus smile.
On our next visit to God's Kingdom, Jesus took me to my own flower of life. I saw small parts of my past as I touched the flower's rim and actually smoothed out a few frays along it as Jesus showed me to do. Jesus explained to me that it is vary hard to heal oneself. That it is far easier to see and send the golden energy into other people. Knowing this, Jesus is healing me himself, working from the inside out. It is a slow process and I am content and thankful for his help. When he was done last Sunday, he told me, "This day you are healed."
Since this time, I continue to learn much. Jesus is instructing me in how to use the energy and to gather it into myself. He has a purpose in mind for its use. A purpose that I don't know or understand at this point but I trust that I will learn eventually. You will also continue to learn. May God's love be with you.
At this time, we humans are reaping excessive fortune--we have it all--a beautiful blue sky, fresh smelling spring weather, flowers wafting in gentle breezes, temperate seasons. This will begin to deteriorate more and more until at some future point, there will be only a remnant left of these qualities we now take for granted yet now are so dear.
A worse case scenario for saving earth: The last people remaining finally make the conscious effort to change from selfish humans into highly evolved beings. Or, the more likely road, a long steady increase of people praying, meditating, and stabilizing the earth. A small movement already begun, growing from a mustard seed, growing and gaining and pulling in more people as the necessity becomes more apparent. Regardless of which path we choose, we will experience disaster. These disasters are the birth pangs Jesus spoke of 2000 years ago. Birth pangs that will usher in the new age of mental development within mankind.
Jesus has said that the erratic weather patterns, a sample of the changes in store for us, have already begun and they will increase. I think we have all noticed a change in the weather during the last few years. It is getting more unstable and probably accounts for much of our peaked interest in the weather programs on TV and the Web. Amazingly, Jesus said I live in one of the more stable areas of the country, I assume he is referring to drought and storms. So far, this spring he is certainly right, we have had more rain than we need while much of the rest of the country remains hot and dry.
The immediate future frightens me so much I refuse to go there, but Jesus admits that along with the erratic and scattered disasters there will be normal times, as many peaks as valleys. The problem is that we will refuse to see the extent of the problem until it runs so deep it will be almost too late, we won't change our outlook and old-fashioned ideas soon enough to prevent the major traumas to earth or ourselves. We will learn the hard way because it will take a lot of punishment before people finally begin to realize that we are intertwined into the psyche of soul of the earth and therefore we must incorporate it's well-being into our decisions.
All this makes so much sense as to be unarguable. But few of us will take it seriously for a long while, though some people are beginning to demand less development, it still remains too few to make much of a dent. While prosperity runs so hot and great, no one is interested in long term consequences, no one cares to read ugly predictions. Or, I smile at this, perhaps Jesus will decide to produce a few miracles to wake people up. Will people finally read what Jesus has asked me to write down? He says that whatever is needed, I'll know what to do when the time comes. Actually, I don't see a problem with this, a miracle is easy for me to believe in and understand because I have felt Jesus' power flow through me once before when he saved a person from choking. But, needed or not, it will be for Jesus to decide when and if extraordinary means are necessary.
For now, I am trying to gather my thoughts and put all the positive aspects together into one drawer, the Hopi Indians, the eastern philosophers, the naturalists, green peace, prayers, laughter morality, kindness, and love all into a Yin Yang like balance to weigh against negative forces. I wonder if earth's balance may be also intertwined with the quantum principals of non-locality in time and space, as is all existence. Have we up-set this balance on earth? Are we talking out and not giving back, not sharing?
Dare we attribute feelings of sadness and loss to the earth. What about a tree? Could we think of a living tree hundreds of years old as without merit or a sense of being? Would we give it no attributes of biomass, or psyche? Or accord to it some essence, at least, of all the life that has scampered in and out and between the crack of its bark and green leafy heights all those years. Then if we can imagine giving a tree some psyche, can't we also imagine and remember to give honor to our huge, living earth with a semblance of aliveness? as much as any living body could have with and among its parts. Earth with rocks and core, wind patterns and storms, sunshine reflecting off its snow peaks and bio-thinking life spread over its surface. This earth on which we stand, at the very least, deserves respect, and at the other extreme deserves our awareness of mind sense, perhaps like an intelligent, integrated computer or soul. Couldn't it also have a sense of its own self-being? We may need to finally come to this consideration. How dare we think otherwise. We are the earth - we are each an extension of earth matter. To deny earth its soul is to deny our own. Is our mind collectively earth's mind?
The Gaia hypothesis is a scientific idea of the earth keeping itself in balance. Some people have taken this theory and given it an element of worship of the Earth Mother but this was not in Mr. Lovelock’s original theory. The idea begun as a science concept that pushes science further than it has went before, far enough to cover the living globe as a system of interaction that balances itself. It supposes that a part of any balance system revolves or centers on the life that lives in it or on it. The merits or demerits of the theory are still being debated by scientists around the world, and dismissed by most.
Obviously, I don't intend to wait for science to catch up with the ideas presented in this book in order to write or believe them. So I can throw out suggestions with impunity and jump off cliffs if I choose. Actually, I had forgotten about this specific cliffhanger until Jesus reminded me in his odd way. It is so gratifying, this knowledge that Jesus always knows, I was happy to be done copying my notes from the notebook and closed it with a sigh of relief. But Jesus smiled and said, "You're not done, you will fill up the last few pages and more."
"What," I laughed,
because I knew I was all written out, except for a few odds and ends. Then when
I checked out one of my odds and ends, I knew I needed to write
more notes but suddenly I found something else, a reference to Teilhard de
Chardin's book The Phenomena of
When you stop to think about it, because we are the earth, we may hold the self-expression for the earth within our own being. As the earth is made of star stuff, we are made of earth stuff. At the very least, perhaps we are its outward expression of itself. At one point this week I actually remembered Jesus as the Alpha and Omega but still didn't to connect to Chardin. Now I have just re-read his book and find our thinking similar. In fact, I imagine Jesus was with him as he wrote his book too. Here are a few excerpts from his book with comments:
"...because we are evolution." Page 232.
Either nature is closed to our demands for futurity, in which case thought, the fruit of millions of years of effort, is stifled, still-born in a self-abortive and absurd universe. Or else an opening exists--that of the super-soul above our souls ; but in that case the way out, if we are to agree to embark on it, must open out freely into limitless psychic spaces in a universe to which we can unhesitatingly entrust ourselves" Page 233
My comment-As I read this I suddenly saw that I had realized his dream- my travels beyond our small earth system satisfies this.
We have said that life, by its very structure, having once been lifted to its stage of thought, cannot go on at all without requiring to ascend ever higher. This is enough for us to be assured of the two points of which our action has immediate need.
The first is that
there is for us, in the future, under some form or another, at least
collective, not only survival but also super-life.
The second is that, to imagine, discover and reach this superior form of existence, we have only to think and to walk always further in the direction in which the lines passed by evolution take on their maximum coherence." Page 234.
My comment-Ah, to turn back the clock to the naive 50s and 60s once again where the future had to be better and science would be the vehicle to take us there.
The general gathering together in which, by correlated actions of the without and the within of the earth, the totality of thinking units and thinking forces are engaged--the aggregation in a single block of a mankind whose fragments weld together and interpenetrate before out eyes in spite of (indeed in proportion to) their efforts to separate--all this becomes intelligible from top to bottom as soon as we perceive it as the natural culmination of a cosmic processes of organization which has never varied since those remote ages when our planet was young." Pages 243-44
My comment-Believe it or not, I wrote my own within and without and thoughts about this, on a lower lever to be sure, before I read Chardin's .He calls this grouping "a gigantic psycho-biological operation, a sort of mega-synthesis..." Page 244
His statement about mankind, "It is in the last resort only definable as a mind." P 248
and refers to "...a spirit of the earth." Page 253
Mankind, the spirit of the earth, the synthesis of individuals and peoples, the paradoxical conciliation of the element with the whole, and of unity with multitude--all these are called Utopian and yet they are biologically necessary. And for them to be incarnated in the world all we may well need is to imagine our power of loving developing until it embraces the total of men and of the earth." Page 266
“...A sense of the universe, a sense of the all, the nostalgia which seizes us when confronted by nature, beauty, music--these seem to be an expectation and awareness of a Great Presence. The 'mystics and their commentators apart, how has psychology been able so consistently to ignore this fundamental vibration whose ring can be heard by every practiced ear at the basis, or rather at the summit, of every great emotion? Resonance to the All-the keynote of pure poetry and pure religion..." Chapter 12, Page 266
I love the phrase Omega Point that Chardin used. It seems to me that Chardin was saying that mankind evolves into earth mind or earth spirit and then into the universal Omega Point. It was no accident that he chose this phrase to reflect the ultimate Christ.
I think our interactions, our lives that run trampling around and across its outer skin may enhance its psyche or soul. Unlike Chardin, I needn't worry about being scientific. In Chardin's day science held the promise of great things to come. Now we are more sophisticated and realize although science has given us much we can recognize it has flaws. I see a future where science will play a smaller part in our world. We have learned, almost too late, that science and its technological child is what changed humankind's positive interaction with earth into a negative. We began using up too much too fast and our constant over-use has become rape and pillage. We emptied the water tables that took eons to fill, burnt up fossil fuel that took, thousands of years to acquire, slashed millions of acres of trees without concern for air quality. Fortunately, the system kept in balance amazingly well for eons in spite of people, which are probably due to our inability to literally remove anything from its system, everything goes back into the system at some point just as it would in a closed space ship, but this recycling unit must stay in working order. If we change the composition so greatly that it can't recycle itself, what then?
Earth shares our spiritual force and because of this, it is subject to disruption by the misuse of spiritual power or neglect from us. I am not saying to worship the Earth Mother or Sopha? All I am saying is what many spiritual groups have said all along, to respect the earth and the life that abounds on her. Where can you stand, set, or swim without life teaming in abundance? So much so, that it seems to me that earth must have some semblance of a spiritual awareness--to think less is to limit God. God gives life. Earth's life could have grown or evolved just as human life did. It could have a type of mind so different from ours that we could never know it, or it could be a collective of all our minds, or it could be alive in ways unfathomable to us.
Do you remember the Source in my first book? I still don't understand exactly what I saw except that it was majestic and seemed to be a cornucopia fount for life, all kinds of life, not only arms and legs and people and wings, but whole, round worlds tumbled out of its light as well as mountains and forests and elephants and ants. So if it is true that in some low sense, or high, earth does have awareness--we, all of us, have some making up to do, and its time to join in and repair the damage.
Ah, perhaps you didn't read a thing I said after I mentioned Gaia and the Earth Mother. The phrase caught and held you captive. Why are you afraid? Isn't there room in your philosophy to love the earth you stand on as well as God and saints and heaven. If a mature mother can find room to love all her children surly you can find room in your heart for many philosophies and earth's lifeblood may grow beyond philosophy. Your blood came from the earth's soil. The earth is within and without you. You are the earth, your mobility doesn't make you less so. Jesus likes this thought. Besides, how does loving earth detract from loving God? It all belongs together and is all part and parcel of God's creation just as you are a unique expression of earth matter. Perhaps The Source was the breath of God. Perhaps God gives as much credence to the life of an earth as to a man, or to a mountain as to a worm. I'll say it again, how dare we set limits for God. All things are possible with God, perhaps even an earth with a voice of its own.
Jesus tells me that the Catholic Church will not like this aspect of my book. But I don't know why not. We are more grown up now, aren't we? Grown up enough that we don't need to do battle over who worships who. It isn't who you worship-- how could you worship anything that was un-God. No the real battle has always been, good against evil, right against wrong, lovers against haters, light against the dark. Jesus smiles at the simplicity of what I write here yet armies march onto battle for every contrived reason but the good.
Sometimes I think God should come and wipe the earth off--clean it up, then maybe next time we will learn--but didn't God try that once, or twice? And we still didn't learn. We'll maybe with Jesus to show us the way we will finally understand this next time what the problem is and fix it. Perhaps it will sink in deep and begin a positive change. He has given us indications of what to look for as we search out the problem but chooses not to get specific. We must fumble for an answer. I guess, if it came too easily we would dismiss it just as easily.
One clue I found was in the Chaos theory, "Simple systems give rise to complex behavior, and complex behavior gives rise to simple systems and most important, the laws of complexity hold universally, caring not at all for the details for a systems constitution atoms."[75] This means that small irrational vibrations or errors in a system can no longer be ignored. On the surface this chaos theory has nothing to do with earth's soul or its problems but chaos plays a large part in earth's weather patterns. The metaphor that the flight of a butterfly can cause a storm on the other side of the globe is not only a beautiful image but has some truth to it, as well. Simple systems can affect complex ones, complex fluxations can cause simple ones. So if we do something small, like eradicate a small fish from the oceans, it could have huge effect on the larger system in which we live. We need to learn how to manage and watch out for the small stuff, not just the large.
When I was still questioning if the
hurricane or vortex could be dust, and dirt and wind from
asteroid impact that has hit sideways or glanced off the atmosphere, Jesus told me to watch the television weather
program. I did. I soon realized that if it was an impact of some kind, we would
be able to blame God, not ourselves because we cannot prevent it and
would not be the cause of earth’s destruction. Jesus has said we are causing
earth's future problem, so, could I eliminate asteroid impact from my list? Not
really because we could be thinning our atmosphere and thus creating a larger
potential for disaster? Ozone holes, ultraviolet from sun seeping into holes
are not the same as thinning our atmosphere so I don't think this is the case.
We are changing the weather, but even so, Jesus agrees that the problem is
larger than that. We could be doing something to our atmosphere that will make
the glancing skim of an asteroid deadly to our survival? This is a possibility.
The reason I like the Gaia theory is because I believe God allowed for the system to vary greatly and the balance to stretch as far as possible. There is probably a lot of room for give and take and yielding on a world system and it probably can absorb many mistakes. I questioned if our hydrogen bombs had the same effect as a small volcanic eruption ?
Jesus immediate and empathetic reply was, "No."
We'll darn, I'll just keep on guessing. I even wondered if our collective thoughts could have as destructive results as our actions do. Interestingly, Jesus didn't have a comment about this thought.
I know you still wonder about Jesus. Most of you don't believe me when I say Jesus is here, most people refuse to see him. Which makes me wonder, because I can see or hear him, what else do most of us refuse to acknowledge or see, what else slips by our consciousness because we have never imagined its possibility?
Then,
Jesus said, "Now I can show you how to save earth."
I felt such joy--I immediately went outside and touched the damp earth in my back yard. I put my fingers through the grass and felt the black soil then the bark of a tree. It had just been raining and it smelled earthy and alive and a prolific source for life. I felt myself pulse with the earth as I stood upon its surface.
At present, it is late spring, the
weather couldn't be more perfect here in
We all know that some areas are in danger, that life may have been pushed back in some hot, dry areas, or where we have over planted but that land was fragile, the soil shallow. We presume that further changes will be gradual and that our technology will be able to cope with them. But I wonder. I suspect that the huge farms centered on profit motive will weigh heavily against the real purpose of the land, and that earth will loose that battle too, though farmers will give it a good try. Huge farms may turn out to be one more blow against earth, an earth that is already feeling spasms and tremors? An earth that may be choking and strangling. What can we do? We can't help growing and spreading our cities across the land, can we? We must continue.
I had been racking my brains earlier this morning while listening to the birds sing and suddenly it hit me, Jesus is referring to biology, life, the biological process of living, breathing, thinking, and existing, of souls inside all biological systems. I feel so stupid. Why didn't I see this before now.
But that doesn't answer everything. What still throws me is that we are doing it to ourselves and that heaven can detect it. How can we fight what we can't even detect? Unless Jesus wants us to combat the whole ecologic damage system we have caused and fix it all? Perhaps it all hangs together, of course it does. Species are dying out, to be sure, but this would not make earth barren some day, species can be replaced even if not us arrogant humans. No something else is happening.
Jesus told me last night that our problem is similar to Silver World's and that we will need to use our minds to solve it. If true, I feel that we are doomed. We humans find it hard to gather together on a large enough scale to be effective. The only thing we have ever joined together for was to watch "who shot JR" or some similar TV event. Surly Jesus knows this, in fact, he says heaven admires and delights in our complexity and diversity, But it is this same complexity that negates togetherness.
I still have not grasped what earth's ultimate problem is yet. Although Jesus has promised to tell me if I haven't grasped the answer soon, even so, I am afraid he won't give us factual information we expect and usually receive in our modern scientific modes of thinking. So I had to accept that even his answer might not be as complete as I would hope. Plus, we may need to invent a new branch of science just to detect the problem. It seems there is only dilemma after dilemma.
I often wonder if Jesus is enjoying my quandary, my search for the truth and earth's ultimate problem, and I think he is. But remember, this problem, whatever it is, is a long term one that will require a long-term solution to solve. So there is still time enough for play and whimsy like listening to the trees sing.[76]
I was doing exactly that while sitting by myself in my son's back yard, listening to the breeze whistle through the aspen trees when I suddenly got the notion, "Why not ask earth what it needs, or what is wrong?" I meditated and a few highly evolved people joined me (I am not highly evolved but only a student). Then a person of Indian decent (I don't know what tribe he was from ) joined the group and someone in the far distance began to dance and chant. While the highly evolved Indian guide contemplated and tried to listen to the cry of earth's soul for all of us.
We were all sitting or standing on a grassy knoll of his choice with square, blue/purple rock mountains far off in the distance. We stilled our thoughts and tried to help him listen to the earth and the wind as it blew across the knoll. Soon we heard a soft whistling and our guide crunched up with all his muscles tightened as if in agony, then he almost fell to the side and began jerking in small quivers. We got a sense of great imbalance like a sea-saw. When he straightened up he looked very fearful and frightened and we perceived pictures of h-bombs, primed and waiting, as if it could erupt at any second. We all felt earth's fear at this point. Then we received a warning and visualization through the ocean depths and down to a deep fissure or crack in the earth before our guide was finally done. Suddenly, I felt emptied as we were left to contemplate earth's anger and fear before we disbanded.
I finally thought to ask, what does a thermonuclear bomb look like from the top? I have never seen a picture of one from the top. We are always shown hydrogen bombs that look like mushrooms as if some fairy garden had went berserk, not us. Would it look like the vision Mary showed me? It seems right. It seems likely. It seems damn eminent.
If we are looking for a nightmare, thermonuclear bombs will serve nicely. Actually, now that the United States and Russia have begun to defuse a few of them, it seems to have dulled our minds to the hoards of nuclear bombs still sitting in silos around the world, 36,000 in all, thousands of which are hair-triggered to alert status. Not included in this number are the bombs the political fringe have waiting for us, the fanatics who use dirty basements or warehouses instead of silos.
The picture Mary showed me could have been a warning, not an actual event because some nations are still testing nuclear bombs and the tests by these nations and the west years ago could have had a disastrous effect deep down inside the earth. In some way indefinable to our science, the test may have set up new vibrations within the earth's core that is causing, or threatening to cause great physical havoc and spiritual discord.
What to do. Jesus says, "Dismantle the bombs." Oddly enough, almost everyone agrees that this should be done but no one (read governments here) knows quite how to do it. We could and do write letters to congress but then again, what can one government do? Or who can plough through the red tape each government has set itself into?
Jesus is going to speak to us about
the problems on earth and what we can do about them in the next and last
chapter. He seems to be hinting that at some point a nuclear bomb is inevitable
and that some serious damage from bomb tests has already occurred. It seems
that all we can do is lesson their impact and retaliation potential, in other
words, keep control of the situation when it happens. For a number of reasons,
Somehow with the bomb tests or perhaps radioactive waste leaking down into the earth we have caused an addition or subtraction to life forms there. They may spread out and begin sterilizing the earth. This sounds preposterous but this is serious business; a magnitude worse than even an asteroid impact that would destroy civilization but leaves the earth intact to reproduce once again. This is where we came from, remember. To sterilize the globe and leave it un-habituated to all life in the future is unconsciousable. I do not understand what would do this, unless it is radioactivity of some sort that effects the DNA molecules, the building blocks of life, so that they cannot replicate. I am still playing guessing games here.
I keep begging God, "please no, anything but thermonuclear bombs--floods, hurricanes, tornados, earthquakes, heat waves, anything but nukes, anything. We can continue trying to keep the lid or turn bombs off, but in the end, prayer may be the only effective action we have left. So I continue to pray. Jesus has not instructed me how we can save the earth yet, he has told me that "My part will be easy." I don't know what he means by that, like you I must wait and see.
I must go back to Silver World soon. We have at least one more visit, Jesus says more than one, but I keep putting it off because I am afraid of what we will find when we get there. I have no prior information of their status. It could be anything from complete annihilation to complete recovery. Jesus knows but has not for-warned me about what is happening or has happened or will happen on Silver World, I must go and see for myself. I hesitate once again deciding to wait another night.
During morning meditation, Jesus suggested we travel to Silver World for our last visit in this series. I was a little startled by his request but readily agreed besides the cassette tape of chants had just clicked off and I still felt very comfortable in my lotus position on the mat.
Jesus told me as we neared a wooded section filled with women and children that I should go into the women's mind because I would find it interesting. It certainly was. The women, children, and senior adults, you'll remember, were left in small enclaves while the men went to fight the war against their government. As I went into the women's mind, I found she was thinking about the blight on the other continent. She was not only thinking about it but was actively folding a image of it's black soil and bleak deadness into odd shapes, she kept sending the images inward and outward, kneading and pounding on them as if she were reducing air bubbles in bread dough. With each fold she reduced the mental image in size; so instead of bread rising from leavening, it was like black bread being shrunk further and further into small tight knots. I suddenly realized that everyone in the wooded area was using the same set of images to reduce the blight that all of the women, children and adults were doing household chores all this while.
The women was not sitting in a spiritual circle with the other women while her mind folded and refolded the blight into itself but moving items around on a open wooden cart that was roughly made out of huge sticks tied together with twine, a type of grass cloth formed the sides and shelves. The cart seemed to hold pots and bowls and she was stacking the bowls after wiping them with a rag. The children were doing various other household jobs, sweeping and picking up sticks from their general living area. The oldest men and women were also doing their part. They were all folding and refolding as they worked.
Evidently, out of necessity, they had devised a new spiritual level that they could carry with them through out the day-they could fight the blight and join one another on a mental level that had been unknown before the war. Left to fight their own war for their world, the women and older people and children had evolved a new method of reducing the blight that was quick and very effective. Vast areas of naked land were being opened for recovery by the mental process of these women. The blight was shrinking further and further back to its point of origin. Soon they would be able to re-seed the continent with green trees and grasses and flowers.
Except for a few skirmishes, the war was now over, and the men were returning to the forest glens victorious but wounded. I watched as a few elders lifted a solder whose arm hung limp and useless against his side, limp over to one of the cots, more were being carried through the green trees. One group of men sat around a low table in the clearing talking about the new method the women had devised to get rid of the blight. They were amazed that the blight had been fought off so quickly in their absence. They would quickly learn this new technique themselves and begin the reseeding the other continent as soon as possible. First they had a lot of work to do recovering their own continent from the ravages of war.
There was much repair work to do in the cities and countrysides and Jesus took me on a quick tour of the war torn world. I saw that the city we had visited once before with its quaint buildings and large framed windows was burnt almost to the ground. No children played gliding games here now. Vast areas of forest were now barren and burnt as if a monster had eased its milk teeth by gnashing and chewing on bone. This even though most of the heavy fighting took place near the space ports for the moon base.
The war on the moon had also been fought and won but recovery would be slower on the moon. It would take a long while for all the men to return home from the moon because transportation was slow and inadequate. In the meantime a peaceful use would be found for what was lift of the moon caverns and mines.
All in all the people of Silver World had survived severe hardships during the war on two fronts but had risen to a new understanding of their own mental abilities and their place in the natural order of life. They would recover from their wounds and rebuild their world to incorporate their newfound strength and spiritual growth. I was pleased and happy for them and thankful to have met such beautiful people.
I asked Jesus the pivotal question tonight. What can we do to save the earth?
You know what Jesus answered?
"Turn them off, turn them all off, Throw every bomb away."
"But that is so simple" I complained.
He smiled.
"I mean it's so simple that it
can't be done. All the governments around the world have been trying to
dismantle these hydrogen bombs for years, sort of, treaty after treaty and talk
after talk,
Jesus just nodded and repeated his statement, "Turn them off."
"But how? I said exasperated, how can we get rid of them?"
I remembered what Jesus said about how surprised we could be at group imagery and its effectiveness. I played with the idea that people could just use imagery and mind travel to go to a bombsite in a warehouse or silo and bombard the sight with mental energy. Don't worry what country or nation or group owns the bomb, in fact, it might be construed as treason if you did, so just go to any silo and focus. We could even imagine water flooding up to the top if we needed to, anything that works to keep our mind in tandem with the site. We may never know or have concrete evidence that our efforts bore fruit, but in this case, no news is good news. Perhaps if we kept going back over and over to focus at the same site, our mental energy would become more evident. We might imagine it rusting and breaking apart or caving in. It would be nice if we could do this. My imagination was running full steam ahead. But then we could ask a valid question--if it is so easy, and who said it was, why doesn't Jesus just use his own mind to dampen or flood these bombsites?
He can't!
It was people, by their own violation who choose, by voting or not voting, by putting the wrong people in power or by omission of that power who put the bombs in place. It must be people, collectively or otherwise, who take them away again. What we put into place, we must remove. What we do, we must undo. What we sow, we reap. Jesus would be violating God's decree of free choice if he removed the bombs.
"We'll we can't do it either."
Jesus agreed with me that it was not feasible at this time in our development to turn off the bombs mentally. "If you were more mature you could turn them off with the use of mental energy but you are not strong enough yet to do this," he told me. "You could try though, some people may have the ability."
Is there something else can we do? I don't think I can turn off a bomb with my mind, Believe me if I could I would, but I can't even turn these horrible radios off that race down the street booming rap music, I've tried. If I had any mental abilities at all, there would be a lot of radios turned into slag heaps right now.
"Yes you can," Jesus said.
I thought about the idea for a minute and how thoughtless and arrogant it is of people to blast their radios like they do. I love piece and quiet. Some people have begun turning them off. Some neighbors have turned their radios down lately. Probably for a number of reasons, complaints to the police being a major one. Then I suddenly realized what Jesus meant. The problem is people's actions not the radio's. We may not be able to use mental energy against physical radios but people emotions are a different story. Behavior is impressionable to emotions, words, and thoughts. We can use mental energy to affect people's attitudes and desires, increase their concern for other people. Love can turn people around. Expressions of love, however applied, can help people to grow and perhaps choose to stop venting their anger or hurting other people. To me loud angry swear words in this music is hurtful. After all, hatefulness and arrogance are actions people use when they are begging to be understood or liked. It is like Gandhi taught us. Keep giving and showing good manners and it will wear down the anger in people. They will stop being so aggressive towards other people.
"I don't know," this seems almost as impossible as mentally turning radios to slag. Some people will not listen no matter what words are spoken or feelings we share with them. Would they listen to the whisper of psychic hugs or feel our love penetrate their hearts?
Of course we must continue to march and write letters, to fight in every way possible just as many people are doing now. But sending out our mental energy and thoughts of caring to specific people who hold the reins might prove to be a vital part of this fight to turn off the bombs. Small groups would be more effective than individuals. We would need a photo of a person who must be reached, then hold this person's image in our minds and go to that person and give them a huge hug? Love them and request that they turn off the bombs, or just let them know they are loved. I have used this method to reach out to people and I believe it works.
Jesus said it will work. That eventually if we continue to use the power within our minds we could deflect destructive events. He suggested that we could even put an idealized image in our minds of the type of person who would likely build and send out a bomb and somehow our thoughts and hugs would arrive at the right person. Jesus advises that this method is slow but effective. It can work if enough people try hard to learn how to use the mental energy they get from God through meditation. According to Jesus, it will be important to continue directing our love and concern to the same people repeatedly. I would think that it is also import to not neglect the chain of command of the leaders.
On the negative side, Jesus added that we need to remember there are some people in the world who cannot be turned from the destructive path they have chosen. This mental energy will only work effectively with people who already feel a sense of guilt, people who still care about other people and the consequences of their actions. Some people are beyond reach and you can look around the world and see this to be true.
I know personally I have found this
to be true. Many people in prisons seem beyond hearing a psychic whisper, also people so
caught up in power's thrall that they have lost their sense of psyche. The leader of
"Do everything you can to get rid of these nuclear bombs," Jesus said to me, "Continue to fight on every front, pray and start groups for meditation. Send your thoughts to the leaders and drivers of nations."
But he asked us to remember--hate begets hate--we must not send destructive thoughts, only love and caring will be truly effective. We must remember that every person is worth loving and needs our concern and empathy.
Referring to my search to find the problem that plagues earth the most, Jesus said that I am wrong when I try and concentrate on one problem as if solving one problem will solve them all. He said we must turn off the bombs but he also explained that the status of the population is directly related to their threatened use of bombs to solve their problems. In Jesus words:
A happy, contented people wouldn't think of destroying each other with hydrogen bombs. Everything is interrelated-surly you know this by now, how tightly woven the fabric of existence is-like a brocaded cloth with many colors and patterns running through it. In order to stop one event we must change a thousand other events--this is basic and everyone knows that a social system is complex and diverse, but to feel it in your bones, your heart, and your souls is not so easy. This complexity is so grand and all consuming it can discourage your effort too.
Remember, I am here to help. All of heaven is concerned with the future of earth. You are not alone as you work out the different problems. And these problems are many and more serious than you can understand. Most of the predictions are potential and almost certain. You have the evidence before you of these potential disasters. The warming of the earth and change in its weather patterns are only surface manifestations of the more deeply underlying dangers. It is already too late to divert many of these disasters from occurring. This is why I told you to concentrate on turning off the bombs. Their destructive power lays further into the future and therefore you have a better chance of diverting the damage if you begin now. I repeat-It is too late to prevent many major disasters on the globe from occurring but some can still be diverted-namely a major nuclear war and the blight that threatens to turn earth into a dead and empty world.
You can lessen the impact of the coming disasters by recognizing and using your mental interaction with the earth and helping the earth throw off the ills it now faces. You are the earth and you must learn to give it as much love and attention as you would your own child for proper growth. In order to turn off the bombs, you must learn how to use your mental energy to good effect as well as physical abilities. When your mind and soul and body work in tandem, when you are balanced, your total environment is also balanced. This is the only way to save yourselves and your earth. If you truly loved one another, many of these disasters would not be in danger of occurring because earth as well as yourselves would be in balance.
Prayer is a step in the evolutionary process, mental energy, the mental energy God gave you is the next step and a vital one. Many people have already walked down this road--follow them. Their final step will be into heaven-a heaven alive with many people interacting throughout the universe.
I asked Jesus to explain to us what heaven detects is wrong with earth. He continues:
Heaven detects a problem on two levels, in earth's mental energy and also in its physical make up. We have caused a rift in both systems. They have become unbalanced. Mental energy is what pervades the universe, we might consider it like thoughts or thought vibrations. This thought energy is being stilled and held more in earth's gravity well than is usually the case. You could imagine earth's mental energy as knotted, tangled, and bound up so tight that it is not breathing, as if the fresh country air that should be blowing in from afar has been cut off. The psychic energy has been twisted and keeps twisting upon itself instead of loosing up and breathing.
We are not just taking about tragic, filled scenes or a skirmish of wars like people experienced in the past. This is like a neurotic grip of fear. This mental imagery of fear as a certainty, a picture of a future that is frightful to behold. So terrible that earth's breath is frozen in place and unable to move forward or backward, like a person in a catatonic state of dream. The future lays ahead by its known path and without change will not be turned from that path. Earth sits frozen in fear of the nuclear bombs that will certainly be used. The severity of their use will not only determine if humanity survives but also if earth itself does because without human intervention the lifeless hole will grow. Without human persistence and effort, the chemical-nuclear mix will not be halted. Without human creativity and resourcefulness earth cannot rescue itself from the brink, regardless that humanity was the original cause of the rift. Sickness and empty seas and land will be the result.
This grip of fear prevents the earth from keeping itself in balance. A balanced earth prevents major disasters from occurring. It is like an over blown system of mishaps that will keep sizzling and popping because the on and off switch is blown.
The physical problem is a direct consequence of the imbalance of mental energy being out of kilter. A mix of nuclear and chemical substances have seeped deep into the earth and will work itself upwards to begin spreading unless it is prevented by the energy matrix of balance.
Jesus is throwing concepts at me and I am trying to write them down in ways we can understand but I can hardly understand them myself. I also need to ask myself, and Jesus, if I am getting too dramatic with the imagery. He continues:
If the deep fissure of nuclear and chemical mix are allowed to fester and grow then at some point, it will become too late to stop it. At this point it can be halted just by tending to the earth and all its various life forms, by making earth healthy. The blight can be overcome with good mental imagery and mental vibrations. We have a few years to learn and practice this fact. It is a long-term problem, the solution of which can be matched to our ability to tame the weather. As we learn to use psychic energy to blend and unify the weather with our needs we will see the effectiveness of our efforts at work.[77]
Jesus said that all of Traveling in Space and Time, Part III will help complete the answer on how humans can save the earth from destruction. It will show how some people already use mental energy and other hidden abilities for the benefit of earth.
As a final statement in this chapter, I asked Jesus about the other half of the prayer he began to tell me about. What is the next step?
Jesus told me we could all do the same thing I was teaching the children to do when they came to visit, go someplace with your mind. I told the children to go to Disney World but we adults can go when our psyche is needed. A prayer or meditation session may need a speaker to narrate and hold group’s thoughts together. As the group mentally gathers together they can surround the earth like a net with their feelings of love and compassion. They can hug the earth or surround specific groups of trees or rocks or rivers or meadows or swamplands. The prayer can encircle every part with our mind and respect for earth. We are the mobile trees, we are their sisters and brothers upon the earth. Let our combined spirit bow our reverence to God and this system we call earth.
I ended this book and began a new one a month before the World Trade Centers were bombed,
September 11, 2001. After this event I suddenly realized why Jesus requested that I keep my notes in tact in the last
section, Part III, but during revision, I took out Part III because the notes
are similar to what I put on the web every week. I will add them to my Archive
page for easy reference. After 9/11 Jesus’ many talks finally hit home, right
in the guts. His prophetic wisdom stands out starkly against my doubts. So much
so, that it became hard for me to edit the changes I did make at the first edit
because my emotions were still wrapped around the events in
Jesus warned me it was coming but
not when; if I had known exactly when and how, and tried to tell people, who
would have believed me? No one, to be sure. Jesus still
warns me that more terrorist’s attacks will hit
I hope after reading this book that you can look at the needs of our world in a different light, I know I do. May the spirit of God be with you.
Appendix
Top of the Document
I wrote this poetry while writing this book. I put them here so they wouldn’t interrupt the flow of the book.
Night-fears
Though I dream
fear grips my guts
fear cements my smile in place
my fears reflect many true facts
I am afraid the ice will be too sharp
afraid the day will make me asleep
afraid the night will push me awake
I am afraid the sky is falling
and I alone amid the ruins
will stand as I stood in life - singled out alone
a forever witness to mankind's plight
while the old moon burns bright holes
onto cold earthen rocks
after the sun's red beams
have died
and I remain
with the last tear left to cry
My life
A single stone upturned
my plight
rolled to sea scrub smooth
barren and cold cast formed
removed from the field of play
then heated upon a spit
until I finally cracked in places here and there
halved and turned and halved once more
yet I stayed silly proud
at each step down the tortured lane
I dared brag at other stones that went grinding by
As my body ground itself to sand
"My dream stayed big, stayed whole" I cried
"I kept - in place - my soul" and died.
Untitled Poem
As if my heart had frozen in place
feelings held in stasis
tears uncried unshed
robotic thoughts swirl within the mind
pretending pretending I am alive
that my heart beats
that ruby blood pumps and runs
that sorrow swells upon my soul
It’s a lie
that only heaven knows
every uncried tear-waits for me
every angry thought circles my self
every break of heart beats only for my own lonely
body wrapped naked in empty white sheets
crying time beats try
to live the lie of alive me
but I am not alive I know
heaven says even this
this stupid poem of pain and need
they know before I wrote
and laughed or cried
but caused my plight because
it was decreed
what I wrote this night
Golden Heart
Evil can't walk here
in this golden sea
its stillborn soul cannot
reach this height
its little mindedness
heaves it back to jumping size
while God at every door
opens to my sight
and every sun dreams
my next step walking
Here is a poem I wrote in 1994
God of
Light
God must really be something
if He's more than the spectrum of light
He'd go from X-rays to microns to infrared
to beyond infinity, out of sight
He is the equation of e=mc2
and can step over the barrier of night
of photons at 86,000 miles per year of light
He can walk backwards or forward in time
as often as He would please
between the quarks of an atom
to the end of time or its beginning
then make a big bang of matter stuff
to shape our earthen ball of dirt
and give us life from dust to dust
and show us the way to His kingdom
when of life we've had enough
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