April 05
4/1/05
Last night I dreamt that I was laying in bed with animals, that a large dog was laying on top of me and stopping my movement. I fought off this dog and at that moment woke up. Something heavy was laying on top of me. I used the light from God to push it off. Actually I think the light blew it away. I sensed a dark body with wings that suddenly left. I turned my head to look at the clock. It was 2:50 am. I think this evil thing was trying to somehow hurt my body. When it was over, an angel suddenly agreed with me when I thought the thing might have been squeezing my legs and knees. I have been having trouble the last few days doing the exercises, but did them anyway. the angel said I won’t have as much trouble now. This proved to be true.
But I still need to know what this thing was doing to me, how and why. Was it some kind of spell that moved against me? Why squeeze me and try to hurt me? Has this been going on most nights? Or is it rare? Does it happen to other people, but they refuse to notice? Am I just more sensitive to this other reality?
My door was closed as usual because I don’t want the cats to sleep with me and wake me up. From now on I intend to keep the door open. Better to wake up from cats than that dark thing. It was my growing instinct that caused me to call on the light for help. Thankfully, it worked.
I remember about six months ago, a similar thing happened while I was waking up in the morning, but this time it was the good angels hugging me. It was those angels who are near us in time, but are enslaved by the evil one. They secretly help us when ever they can. I never did learn why they were so happy that morning. I almost didn’t put this on the web because it seems a little weird, but Jesus suggested that I put it on anyway. I its purpose is to help people in the future understand better.
4/1/05
It was important this morning that I meditate and go with Jesus. I know this because I almost decided to skip this morning and begin the housework early, but Jesus suggested that I should meditate. Also my friend Y called me to meditate. It is his opinion that I should even when I don’t feel like it. He tells me I should meditate every morning and night for fifteen minutes because it will protect me. I agree with him now.
We started in the circle until the light filled all the space between us then built up like a huge bubble that broke up and flowed around the world. I felt a creature signal me from the ocean, a whale. It sent thoughts to me about spreading God’s golden light on the earth. I agreed and began spreading the light from where I was standing and then people in different countries took over until the whole world was filled with golden light. I struggled to push the golden light far down into the dirt and then out into the sea until it too was filled with gold sparkle. The gold surrounded the earth and filled the air until it thinned out in space. This imagery only lasted a second, but felt wonderful, nevertheless. What does it do for earth? I don’t know but I suspect it brings God closer to us. Also, I don’t know if It was a whale with special abilities who sent thoughts to me or a leader whale of some kind, but I was pleased that this whale’s mind joined us in the circle.
After this I went to a few children and let the light shine on them. I don’t know if this helps them in any way, but I feel that it does. Y smiled at my preference to always go to children. I do when I can, and the light seemed strong in me again today. I was amazed at its glow and both Jesus and Y smiled at my delight. Of course, it shines even better from them, but they have better control. I strut around like a peacock. We all tend to do this with something new. I’ll settle down one day.
Today Jesus suggested that we travel someplace and asked me to choose where. I looked at Y and he nodded, so I thought for a moment as we stood at the end of the tunnel.
“I want to go where the angels come from,” I said, “The ones who Jesus saved and who now follow him like it says in Revelation.”
We waked through one of the constantly moving rings in front of us and suddenly stood above a pristine world that looked just like earth. Then I realized where I was.
“Oh, I forgot that the angels came from the new earth that Jesus built.” I said and laughed. “No wonder it looks like earth.”
We have been here before, but not for a long while. Its topology is a duplicate of the real earth. Jesus has terraformed the planet to look exactly like our own. He told us he would do this in the New Testament. He said he would make a place for us.
No one can imagine how incredibly wonderful and beautiful this planet is. We went to waterfalls and mountains and rivers and jungles and woods and grasslands. Small groups of people reside in some of these places, but the group are few in number.
We walked in one small village with small buildings on both sides of a street. Y decided to go in a different direction for a while. He wanted to check out the different cultural settings people had created. It seems that most cultures are represented even with the small number of people. The religions from earth aren’t needed here, but are practiced if people choose to do so. This planet has had no wars or long movements and interactions of peoples like happened through earth’s history. The predicaments that cause war never happened here.
These people live in a true paradise. Many can use their mind to move about the planet and travel beyond. Their physical homes and constructs use a special kind of energy that we don’t know about yet.
Jesus said, “These people are fully human. The difference is in their upbringing and training.”
At first glance it is easy to know they are normal humans, but after a short while I learned differently. As we walked through the village, I saw people of different shades of skin wearing simple clothing. They were quiet and smiled at us as they moved out of our way. That was when I was startled with understanding.
“They know we are here,” I said with sudden realization. Yet, they left us alone to explore and look around.
The three of us were walking down through the middle of the village because Y had come back to join us by this time, when we saw one person disappear. The person just disappeared, cloths and all, while walking down the packed dirt area between buildings. He vanished in mid stride. I wondered later if this was a demonstration meant for us. I think it was.
“Not all the people are born with every gift.” Jesus told us. “Each person’s ability or gift is different by degree. But everyone is spiritually minded.”
“Will this earth ever get as crowded as our own?” I asked Jesus.
“No,” he said firmly, “Births are controlled here by choice.”
This knowledge saddened me somewhat because it means that there will not be enough room for all of us humans.
Jesus knew my thoughts and told me not to worry because, “There is room enough in the universe.”
From this I assumed that this new earth only holds certain humans reborn in spirit. It is the paradise Jesus promised us in the bible. The only path to this earth is through the eye of the needle, the straight path. Few qualify, but for those who do, whatever process they had to go through to get here must be worth it.
We all go through trials and tribulations in this and in lives beyond our own realm. A soul never dies, it just keeps on evolving or devolving. The new earth is for human souls that have evolved to such extent they have become special people, almost like gods. I felt proud this morning when I learned that I was part of a race with such great potential.
4/6/05
The many good things Pope John Paul II did for our world are filling up the news shows this week so enough has been said about what he did and I won’t write about it. Instead, I would like to honor the Pope’s passing by writing something Jesus told me the morning after his death.
I meditated as usual and the light from the Source seemed strong and bright in me so I began to spread the light out around as far as I could. But I couldn’t send the light out very far. That morning the light just wouldn’t push away from me and kept dissipating as if it was being soaked up by something.
Then Jesus spoke to me. He said, “This will happen with other people’s deaths too.”
I was taken back by his words and wondered what they meant. Later, I realized that Jesus must have meant that the light was being soaked up by sorrow. The sadness was so great around the world that the light couldn’t penetrate deeply. I didn’t know that sorrow by a large number of people could stop the light, then what of great disasters? The next day the light flowed freely as usual so the effect was short term, but it makes me think of what could have happened to the light during the Holocaust and the many other extreme genocides, valid proof of man’s inhumanity to man. The thought makes me shudder and be thankful that I live during a brighter time.
The next day, after I read about the different potential new Popes, I pondered about who I thought would be the next pope. Then I thought to ask Jesus.
I asked, “Are you going to pick the next pope.”
Jesus short answer was, “I picked the last one.”
He sure did. I remember the surprise that rolled around the world when a Polish priest was put on the throne of Peter. I can’t wait to see how the coin will flip this time.
4/7/05
Until recently I didn’t have enough money to buy any of my own books to distribute and sell. But lately I have worked more hours so can afford to buy six to ten books, or so I thought. Even now I learned that my book is not available for sale. The excuse last month was a reorganization of the supply house through March. Well it is a week into April and my book is still unavailable. How can this happen when it is a print on demand book?
I contacted iuniverse again and talked to a Michelle who said she would look into it. When I called back, the employees were all in a sudden conference until Monday. I am a tolerant person but this is getting ridiculous.
I am beginning to understand the underlying problem regarding my books and that there is a definite purpose behind limiting their range. Who is doing this to me? Is it the same person who has held a heavy boot over my head all my life. The same person who doesn’t want my books to sell because it would lift me up out of the gutter. The same person who doesn’t want my photo distributed on the books cover because of who I look like. The same person who has put barriers up in every direction anytime I tried to climb out of my circumstances. The same person who is determined that no one will learn who I am.
Well, who am I? I am the news story of the century. A story that has been hidden for sixty two years. I would like to know how such news can remain hidden for so long? I suspect that the answer would be very interesting to everyone.
I think, Heaven’s Own is really a good book, especially after I revised it. I hurried the first draft into print because they offered a deal. Now I have learned better. I sit on a book for a while and then revise it. I have completed the sequel to Heaven’s Own, that I titled, Heaven’s Final, but it waits for a publisher. I have been told by those who read it that I have written a classic, but if people can’t buy it, how will they know? It is totally unacceptable that my book is not for sale in a book store at any customer’s request. It is advertised as available. I have tried Barnes and Nobel and Boarders book stores. I intend to keep trying to buy both Heaven’s Own and my first book, Traveling in Time and Space until I get results.
4/9/05
I want to give a big cheer to the people who join or will join the organization “Responsible Wealth.” Its purpose is to put the money saved in tax cuts of the rich to the cause of revamping the tax cuts. The movement has been nicknamed The Billionaire Backlash and it reeks of such sensibility that I am astounded. Something is going right for a change.
I read about this on the web and it was the first I had heard about it. Here is a quote from the site:
The elder Gates for years has argued that individual wealth is a product not only of hard work and smart choices but also of a society that provides economic development, education, health care, and property rights protection. Such an economy’s top dogs benefit the most from tax-funded institutions and programs and therefore should not resent or seek relief from having to pay taxes, he has said.
We should all jump for joy that there are wealthy people who think like this. I think the President felt that by giving tax cuts he would push the economy into high drive, but certainly, it can only be a good move that a few people who don’t need the cuts give the money back. Each one of the top percent of the wealthy saved more money in tax cuts than I earn in a single year. I would do the same in their place.
It could be the beginning of the
future Jesus promised us if this movement was to continue and grow. But I don’t
kid myself; just the opposite movement is building up too. Greed verses
desperate want has toppled governments and fed revolutions in other countries,
but not
I am beginning to think that the underlying purpose of those who push self-importance and great wealth is to prod discontent and start some kind of serious problem here. The rational of denying a living wage to a worker is no different than the mindset that built and encouraged slavery in past centuries. The purpose of slavery was wealth, no matter at whose expense.
People are turned into slaves not only when they are forced to bend their back under a whip, but also if they are outcast from productive society, or if they are made to struggle too hard for a real education or a livable wage. Slavery is someone’s heavy boot is on your back, for whatever reason. I see Satan trying to pop up here.
Yet, the numbers of people who are
beginning to believe and act otherwise gladden the soul. These people can sense
that something is moving wrong and want to make it right. They too can sense
that the well being of
Jesus told us to share and many of us need to ask how. How can we share and still keep the economy running, or how can we share and still pay our bills, or how can we share and still save for an education, or how can we share and still survive. I have had a hard time, myself, with such questions. I can tell you what happened to me once, years ago. I had about $20.00 to give to a charity. I wanted to write a check, but I had three ads laying on the table from groups crying for help. This put me in a quandary because I didn’t know who I wanted to send my check to most. I could only give to one of them.
Jesus spoke up. “Divide it up.”
I smiled at my own stupidly. Of course, the solution was so simple. So that month I split $20.00 into three checks. The charity’s involved probably didn’t want such small amounts although they never complained, but I felt better. I guess what I am trying to write is that even small amounts help. It may be only small amounts that the Responsible Wealth group saved and intend to give back, but the effort has the potential to correct a social attitude gone immensely wrong and turning it to right-in a giant step for mankind.
4/11/05
Jesus sat next to me in church Sunday. His presence was very strong and so much ‘there’ I was amazed. We had a good talk while the mass was going on, but finally, I asked him why he was so much present this day. He hasn’t visited me during mass for a long time.
His answer was, “You need me.”
This statement is probably more true than I realize at this time, so I intend to keep doing what I always do and hope for the best.
While we talked, Jesus told me of things that will happen in the far future. I don’t want to write them on the web because it is personal and has to do with me. It won’t happen for a long time and we never know but circumstances might change.
During our talk, I was thinking of how Jesus changed the world by what he did, his death and resurrection. What if he hadn’t died? What kind of horrible world would we be in right now? As we talked, I was reminded that instant gratification is something I need to learn to go without. We all want what we want, but look at what Jesus did? He suffered greatly, but because of his actions, belief in his name now moves half the world towards goodness. Not a small result. Perhaps many don’t make it, but they try, and that is the point. The more people who care and try to be kind and good, the better for our world. So if any one man could be said to have changed the world, it is Jesus. Our love for him, makes what he did worth it.
Well, Jesus told me that I would do something similar one day because of what I write. (He also that much of it will be lost, but didn’t explain why. When I first began writing Jesus told me that my notes were being copied and printed. Whoever that someone is, if they continued, they must have three volumes printed by now. A lot of ink). I said “But I want my writing to be famous now, I want to earn money for it now, not a hundred years from now. I had to smile at my own ignorance, but it is true. This is when we had the conversation of instant rewards. He didn’t expect one and, I guess, neither should I.
“Well, I am doing something,” I told Jesus. “I think the circle of God’s light for visual prayer is working.”
“Yes, that works well,” he said, but he wasn’t specific, so it may be that I will do something more one day.
He has told me before that the last two thousand years were based on male leadership and that would change during the next thousand years. Belief will become based on women of faith. He seems to think that my writing will help this movement. He means now, but mostly, after I am dead.
I think the light works on a different level of existence right now, but the results aren’t obvious, though I have thought some people seemed nicer and their circumstances improved. Can’t prove that the light did anything, but spreading God’s life energy around could never be harmful. So I will just keep doing what I am doing. Just keep going.
As we spoke, I also asked Jesus how I should be more generous with thoughts of kindness and faith in people. I told him that I don’t like being suspicious. I don’t want to always look twice at people and wonder if the enemy is using them. Yet, I don’t want to go back into my ignorant blindness either. So I asked him about a few specific people who seemed very nice. He told me they were ok. I think there are very few people who would allow the enemy to use or turn them hard.
4/12/05
It doesn’t please me that some day my mistakes may be valuable. And why would they be? Because of scarcity? The whole reason I re-did the book, was because it had editing and typing mistakes. In one chapter I didn’t explain who the chapter was about right away or I put sexual thoughts in when they weren’t needed. It is all taken care of now, but I was thrown for a loop when the girl called me and said Barnes and Nobel had ten books on the shelf. I worried all night that these were ten of the first books before I had them revised. What is the good of revising a book if the old ones are still out there? I had hopes of buying all the old books out there even if they will be valuable some day. I don’t care. I try to be a good writer and don’t want anything out there that makes me look bad. But there is no way I could buy ten books just to take them off the shelf.
Luckily, I called this morning and learned that they are ten of the latest version, copyrighted in 2005. Jesus smiled at me as I wrote these notes last night because he knew. If anyone wants to buy my fiction book, it will finally be available in every bookstore’s computer within two weeks. They solved the problem, but I am still not sure what it was. All I know is that if anyone tried to buy a book, they couldn’t. That hurts.
When someone like me writes a book, someone who has not done much in life so far, it becomes like your baby, you love it and nourish it and pamper it. Then you hope it grows in other people’s hearts too. Every book has a message and I like the messages I put into my books and stories. I believe in them, I cherish them, I love them. I want to share them with other people.
If anyone is interested in reading Heaven’s Own, here again is the book page to go to Book Page to order from any book store or right now from iuniverse. I am going to try and buy my first non-fiction book, Traveling in Time and Space, just to make sure it is also available.
I don’t know how the problem with my books was corrected, but Jesus knows I am in a battle with the enemy of mankind. He knows, first hand, how devious this enemy is and came closer to help me. I don’t have money or power so how can I compete with the enemy? For some reason a mix-up was created, but now it is fixed. It doesn’t matter what it does to me. I will walk with Jesus no matter what happens, and this enemy should have learned this by now. When I feel down, like I did last night, I always remember what Jesus said regarding this enemy, “Your days are numbered.”
4/13/05
I find the warning interesting. I just read comments in the newspaper about Richard Ruhling who is predicting a shake-up of the world on May 19, 2005. He also says that last year he also predicted the Pope's death, not a hard thing to do under the circumstances. He says much more which I truly hope is inaccurate. But what worries me is that I also have been told that something is coming.
It is some kind of flip or change, but being who I am, I often interpret these warnings as pertaining to my own life, instead of a warning for the general population. But I am beginning to think that this one is for real. I did not get any specific date. But I was told that "There will be an overturn," or "Something is going to change soon." Yet, It could be a good change. I still think most of revelation will not happen as drastically as it is portrayed to happen. This is because of all of our prayers and the many changes Jesus and the angels have attempted to make in our world. So I usually dismiss the warnings.
Then today I read the article by Thomas L. Friedman in the Free Press. He always writes very sensible and straightforward comments on world events. This article was no exception, but it includes a dire warning. He warns us that we must keep up our guard because as the Jihadists and Baathists begin to loose the war in Iraq, they will search for targets to put a salve on their loss in their own part of the world. To save face, they will come looking for a target in America. Probably the most spectacular one they can devise according to his well thought out opinion.
We can be thankful our government is listening too. I suspect they listen to any warnings from anyone now, then try to sift out the crackpots from the slew of honest investigators. I don't know about Richard Ruhling's credentials because I have never read of him before, but his warning rings a bell. A gong is going off inside my head and I don't like it.
On the other hand, personally, I believe I am due a little prosperity. Wouldn't that be nice. At least I have been told that I will live a long life, but if the prosperity doesn't come with it, who wants a long life? I could imagine a long life lived with much regret. Well, it is the nature of life that we can never truly be certain of what will come tomorrow. For the most part, unless the danger threatens to be anything like we went through on September 11, 2001, we are better off allowing the whims of fate to surprise us.
4/15/05
Before I meditated this morning, I was thinking about things Jesus had told me about the future and especially the influence women will have on religion. I wondered why. The only reason I could think of was that women give life or are a symbol for life. This implies that life will one day be scarce. This seems a silly notion according to today’s abundance of life on the planet. Our world is over run with all manner of people and fauna. So, will something happen between now and then or will a series of events change our world? Will some change make us worship motherhood? Maybe a number of events in a hundred years or more will make life scarce. We can hardly credit such a notion in our day, but maybe the writing is on the wall.
Grow up or pay the price. That might be what the writing on the wall is telling us. The danger is real so pay attention. If the threat of danger is real and severe, I want to scream out: Someone take hold of the reins and stop what is happening on the earth, stop the imbalance of wealth and scarcity, stop the waste of recourses, stop the pain, stop the useless squander of lives….
What an illusion. There is no single person who can halt a train of galloping horses running wild. The effort must come from each and all of us. It only takes one person standing up in the boat to topple it. It only takes one determined group and we could be doomed. But it takes all of us to make a peaceful world.
Most of us understand this concept of togetherness even if we can’t always practice it. We understand that if we want the earth to prosper, all people must have their needs meet, all people must use up less of the resources, all people must accept their neighbors.
A tall order, an ideal dream? Not with God on our side. It is the enemy who is pushing us to over consume, over achieve, over exploit, etc. So the more we escape from its grip, the more livable the earth will become. This is why the light from God, The Source, the essence of life is so important for us. It pushes the enemy back, makes it back away to hide in its own little dark corner.
It was God who told me that the light works. I had been thinking of how even God’s hands seem tied because of constraints of free will and complexity. If you give to one person, it takes away from someone else and disrupts the balance. Just like happened in the movie, Bruce Almighty, when he granted every one’s prayer and wound up creating a really big (funny) mess.
The life that comes from God works, but never harshly. It spreads as a gentile wave into our soul to give it food. Even if we can’t notice it, our soul is able to feel true peace and happiness. The light of the Source is soft, invisible, and potent. It is so powerful it can put the enemy of humankind on the run. It can flood the earth with energy and reduce evil back into a tiny, minor speck within the heart of each person.
Nothing works so much goodness into our hearts as the prayer of light that comes from God, the Source of all life. A few souls will always reject the light, but many more will accept and revel in its food.
I intend to keep sharing the light no matter what barriers are put in my path. The barriers, I have learned, are all emotional and based on negative thoughts and ideas. We can be made to slack off or forget or reduce the value of God’s light in our own mind unless we keep vigil against it. After all, by letting your light glow and surround the earth, you are sending this enemy on the run.
I have learned that I can push the light outward even while I exercise (I don’t think of it during the rest of the day). I imagine rings of light flowing from my body, light given to me at birth and enhanced by my love for God. Jesus tells me I am getting stronger and the light streams away from me as I move my arms and legs. His encouragement is all I need to keep sending out the light. If I can send out this light, all of you who pray and gather it in can do so as well.
We modern humans have been given a new way to view and participate in God’s power. We do this by visualizing it at work around us. It works, Jesus tells me it works. That is enough for me. If there were even a bare chance that the this invisible but potent light can chase away evil, it is worth the try.
God knows what we need. We need to center the light of life within ourselves, then send it outwards. The circle helps magnify the light so it can flow around the world. This is a gift from God to us. God is the gushing waterfall; we can be the streams.
4/15/05
What a jolt to my sensibilities this morning. We walked down the tunnel and I put my hand out to feels its textured, bumpy walls, this probably helps me orientate myself too, when Jesus spoke.
He said, “I want everyone to walk this tunnel.”
I suddenly imagined how nice it would be if everyone did, and it would never get crowded because the tunnel is based in the mind or a reality that goes beyond the physical world we usually walk in. Its purpose to invite those who can travel its length to other worlds and other experiences off earth.
As we walked to the end of the tunnel, Y reminded us that he wanted to choose where we would go the next time. He had some special place in mind, I am sure. Naturally, we agreed and followed him into the circle rings that floated in front of us. (The closest I have seen this effect shown in movies was in Dune)
We stepped through and I saw mountains but I also saw a flat land covered by sea. Rocks, and daylight set against the darkness of night. It looked as if reality had splintered? I kept blinking because nothing would stay in focus for very long. I didn’t know where to look. I was looking at a faceted diamond with every surface showing a different aspect of some world as its existence in time.
My senses hurt with the effort of being there, even standing next to Jesus and Y, my sight felt compounded by the many images.
Actually, Jesus was smiling with delight. He’d known where Y was taking me before we went.
“It took me a long time before I could understand all the faceted surfaces too.” Y said to me. “Don’t worry that you can’t grasp what you are seeing right away.”
His words came from every direction in one sense, but in another, I was standint next to him. I was also split into pieces and existed in all of them. My bare feet were buried deep in cold snow on top a mountain at the same time they were wet from the water of a warm sea. Impossible. I was not only looking at a honeycomb of different places, I was experiencing them as well, and all at once.
Actually, I wasn’t, because I couldn’t grasp the totality of it all, the potency of multi layered reality that he had brought us to.
“Is this a real place in the universe?” I asked Y.
He said, “It is a nodule, a way station, a convergence of space time.”
His ability to travel through such a place made my own trips to single worlds seem like child’s play. I felt back in kindergarten with the preponderance of all the lessons yet to learn weighing on top of my head. It must have taken Y many years to come here and begin to understand. It will take me double, I am sure.
I couldn’t focus any longer, yet I felt so excited at the potentiality of what I was seeing I couldn’t wait to write it all down. I said so and suddenly I was back in my chair and normal reality. I have written what I saw and hope I was true to what I saw because I am still not sure if it was I saw.
4/16/05
I was thinking of my two year old grandson this morning. A few weeks ago, he saw an ant crawling across the floor and yelled out with excitement, “Ant, ant.” He got down on his knees to watch it’s progress.
This scene reminded me of an analogy I often think of for God’s ability to see where we humans have been and where we are going. Imagine watching an ant walk towards a crumb on bread on the floor. We can see where the ant is going and its trajectory. We can see obstacles it will need to go around or climb over before it gets to that crumb of bread. We can even see what drives the ant forward, what keeps it going.
God can see each of us in this way. Jesus as our human teacher, also sees the obstacles and rewards in our path. With his direction, we can avoid some of the pitfalls. Jesus sees something else, he sees how the enemy puts the crumbs on the floor to attract us. He sees what drives us towards false goals. Much of his teaching was an attempt to turn us from the false desires of wealth and power.
We are like that ant and can’t see far enough forward. Jesus sees our whole life here and our soul after it leaves earth. He knows what true food we need for nourishment for our journey into the next life. He said as much to us two thousand years ago, and he does not stop me from writing these words now. If they were untrue, he would tell me.
4/17/05
This Sunday, I remembered once more why I go to church every week. Once again I realized how Jesus renews his teaching through the words said during the mass. He renews the whole world by renewing us. We walk out of church ready to live life as a better person.
This idea was intensified when the priest called the children up because they had a good report card. This happens every week during the school year, and it is easy to imagine how proud each of these students must be to get called up to the alter while the whole church claps for them. It certainly puts spunk into their steps. Encouraging these children means we are helping to renew the world along with Jesus who is ever at work for our benefit.
4/20/05
I want to write something (in defense)? of the new pope because so many Americans are disappointed. Personally, I hardly pay attention most of the time about what goes on in Rome even though I go to a Catholic Church every Sunday. Rome is a long way from the pew where I sit, but the whole world in interested right now in the Papacy, so I wanted to state my views and, more important, write what Jesus has told me about the church as well as I can remember.
Even though Jesus knows, as well as every one else, that some parts of the church are corrupt, I don't remember him speaking against any specific doctrines of the church. Even if Jesus said anything about my own pet annoyance with the church, that they still forbid priests to marry, it was many years ago or my memory is dim. I am sure of one thing regarding Jesus and the church, Jesus is more tolerant.
Jesus tolerance shows up in our travels. Jesus has taken me to diverse worlds where strange and weird religions were practiced; yet, these practices seemed acceptable to Jesus and I assume God. We have went to worlds where birth control was practiced as a means of population control. One vivid example is the new earth where Jesus has taken me. There it is a normal to only have children who are wanted and loved. Births are controlled by mental and physical means; the people don't need to take pills. This fact could make a big difference on how to interpret the example Jesus showed me. I do know for a fact that Jesus has never condoned murder or abortion during our talks, but birth control? I am not sure.
Does Jesus condone birth control here on earth? I don't know. There is so much more to the universe and its causes than we can understand. Is it possible that there be souls begging to reenter life, souls that need to be human again? It is possible; yet, even if true, is it a good enough reason to allow souls to enter and then die of hunger? The travel and range of the life of a soul is one point where I know Jesus has a different view from the church, or my interpretation of it. He knows that souls keep living into new times, that a soul never dies. It is mentioned in the bible a number of times about the book of life. I suspect that names written in it, keep coming back to live in new times, here and in heaven. Perhaps there are still too many unsolved mysteries to answer with certainty, but it doesn’t hurt to keep searching for those answers.
Watching PBS news yesterday, they talked about the new Pope Benedict and there was one statement reportedly by Ratzinger that I know Jesus has always agreed with. He said that "Change must come from the heart." This has been Jesus message over and over to me. This is the purpose of the light from the Source. God's light is food for the heart. It is how it works and that is how it will turn the world around, if it is to be turned at all.
I believe, like many people, that the cardinals wanted a strong but transitional pope, someone who would not make big waves. And perhaps this is right. The societies of earth may be in too fragile a state right now for abrupt change.
Did Jesus pick this pope? I don't know. I only know that he told me he helped pick the last one. Jesus has not said, but he has told me something interesting.
I said to him, “At least I have been left alone. I am not important enough for anyone to take notice.”
Jesus said, “That will change.”
I am a little person and am happy to be left alone to write and live. I can't imagine that kind of change as being good, (unless it concerns my other problem). No matter. I expect the angels and Jesus to watch over me what ever comes.
4/22/05
I have much to write that was beautiful. God in the aspect of a female was with me this morning. She asked me to open my eyes three times so I could try and see here enter our reality. I did open my eyes but had to admit to her that I could only see a small blue blur, and that for only an instant.
She smiled with her beautiful face and said we would try again. I did try again and saw more of her but it was all indistinct.
I asked her why she wanted me to open my eyes. I could see her fine with them closed.
“To show you what is true and real.” She said.
I suddenly saw in my mind a cone that rose up from the earth into the sky. I, and by implication everyone else on earth, was sitting in the bottom of the cone. The illusion of physical reality revolved around me. I understood that this cone of reality that we see is only the beginning of reality, that the more we grow in spirit and knowledge, the further this cone of reality expands, in ever widening circles of many layers, into the universe. The vision of the cone was a mere symbol of how we see and don’t see. It gave me a vivid picture of the narrow view we have on our world.
When I first saw the beautiful lady this morning, a pure white path seemed to lead from myself and up to her presence. She wanted to speak to me of promise and beauty. Her baring was extraordinarily heavenly and beyond what we consider matter. She is truly a Goddess, or should I say God, or aspect of God? I am not sure because God was there too.
I asked Jesus, who was by my side all this time, about this. He said, “God is every were at once in all aspects of being.”
This was quite a lot of info to take in, but I understood at once. As if the Source of all things had split into two aspects of itself? Oh, well, I almost understood. This concept is truly greater than our ability to see; yet I was given to see it. It is so unusual that can’t think of any better analogy to use to help explain what I understand.
Once again, Mary, the name I have called her for many years because she has not given me a specific name, although I imagine she has had many earth names throughout history, asked me to open my eyes to look at her.
I did. This time when I opened my eyes, I imagined her entering into our cone of reality or illusion. Suddenly, the trees and white sky and window curtains partially dissolved and I saw her in full, for an instant.
She is too beautiful for me to describe adequately, but I will try. She looked to be a young adult human female. She wore a white gown and blue surrounded her whole being. She glowed with such light that it was hard for me to actually pick out specific details.
I saw her for only a moment. I suspect that if I were a younger person, my vision of her might have lasted longer. I have had sixty two years of conditioning into what we call normal reality and it is hard to see out of this cone of reality. Such conditioning is hard to break. It took Jesus years to teach me to travel.
She said to me, “You are doing well.”
I began to worry about her visit. I asked her, “I have noticed in the past that you choose to visit earth just before a serious disaster, such as a world war, is about to hit out world. Are we headed into a dangerous dilemma now?”
Her answer was that she wanted to show me something.
She smiled and took me out to my own yard, the field that I bought a few years ago. Suddenly, as I stood there watching, it was as if every blade of grass turned into a tall, blooming flower. Irises, roses, and daisies grew all around me, as high as my waist. The perfume from the flowers wafted on the breeze. It was as if the whole world had suddenly turned into a garden paradise.
Within a few minutes, the visit to the yard was over, and the beautiful lady had left, but I understood exactly what was meant by the vision she gave me. She had turned my yard into a symbol of peace. A symbol of how easily beauty and good feelings could spread if we give it a try. The message was that a paradise on earth is possible.
Jesus stepped in to the void left by her presence. He knew that I needed someone to hug at that moment. Joy or wonder had built up to such a crescendo within me that it needed release. I needed someone to put my arms around, right then. One of Jesus purposes was to become a son of man. Now, he is ever touchable and there for us on a mental level. We can identify with his personage.
Somehow I knew, that the beautiful lady was so godlike as to be beyond touching. God is so much more than our human reality can see. I imagine that a universal God must be accommodating to all the beings on every planet in the universe.
Jesus, God or not, seems to serve as an intermediate between God and humans. (Some might call this part of the trinity). Jesus as an intermediate in heaven who intercedes for us, who oversees our societies, who speaks for us, who advocates for our welfare, who testifies to our worthiness.
I felt so good and beautiful myself after this visit that I wanted to meet with Y too and hug him. As my hands touched with Jesus’ and Y in the circle, I felt a spark unite us. The light built up and flowed beyond our ring to spread out all over the earth. I kept repeating the beams of light that flowed like ever widening rings around the world. The light filled the ground and the sky. As the glow filled the earth, I went around and gave people hugs.
So many people were helping to spread the light that I couldn’t count them. I don’t always take note of the many people who help spread the well being on earth, but I know I am never alone. People have been doing this for a very long time; all I have done is join them. It helps me to see the light as coming from the Source. It serves as a visual prayer for me that I can actually see at work. Like I have said before, food for the heart and soul.
But all I do is spread the word through my writing. This increases the effort on our world towards the good. That is my job. By writing about what happens during my talks with Jesus and heaven, I help people understand more about heaven.
According to the vision I write about from this morning, Mary too, believes that we can turn earth into a paradise. I remember something else she said to me. She said that the change will be slow. That reversing reality from darkness into light will take time. I guess the message is to keep spreading the light, keep praying, keep doing good, keep up our empathy for other people and the world will reflect that greater beauty. Perhaps the beautiful lady is the window of glowing change.
4/23/05
What is the Source that even God has said, “Use it, spread it around. You will receive as much as you need.” What is this substance that comes from God? It is like God’s breath that breaths renewed life into the soul, food into the heart, love into the mind. Because everything comes from the Source, everything benefits from more of it. Is it what our souls consist of? I believe so.
The light we can visualize flowing from our inner selves is our given light from God, grown and expanded according to our spirit. It flows past our outer defenses and reaches directly into what moves and drives us. It may even relieve us from our deepest fears and isn’t that what compels us to wreak havoc? Fear?
So we are helping the world become more calm and peaceful by spreading the light of God. We can’t see results yet because we have gotten so far off track it will take a long time to reseat ourselves. At the very least, it gives us hope that we can do something about what we see that is wrong.
The soft white glow of the Source gives to the giver as well. I suspect that the more we send out, the more we get back. That its energy feeds on itself and grows unbounded by physical constraints. As I have discovered and written of before, the Source is that zero point energy the scientists have been looking for. This means that the light from the Source, or our own bodies when we learn how to use it, can pour out from any point in space or on earth to heal minds and hearts and maybe bodily ills. It is a gift direct from God to us. Given to us at birth, but only usable as we grow in spirit. Just by imagining the light flow from yourself, you are making it true. We have the potential to convert the whole universe, or at least the earth to peace.
4/25/05
I am going to be at the Detroit Public Library Saturday, May 14, at 12:30 to give a talk about my book, Heaven’s Own. I wish I were talking about my notes or my other book, Traveling in Time and Space because I would have a lot more to say. Get me on the subject of God and heaven etc, and I don’t know when to stop writing. Though, talking might be harder for me. Well, I will talk about my book and how I came to write it and what I have learned from it because I did learn. By writing of Jody’s problems, I learned about my own. The moment I realized this was enlightening.
Every one is invited to come to this talk and book signing. I will read excerpts from the book as well. I am not sure I should speak about the sequel because that would be giving away what will happen. Don’t want to do that. I think I wrote the whole book, or both books, mainly because I wanted to write this ending. I like the ending. It is probably my dream for all of humanity.
4/27/05
Played with my granddaughter's new Sims program yesterday. It is very realistic.
I was thinking this morning that if we want to understand the evil that effects us all we need to do is imagine ourselves as being in a world wide Sims program. The problem is that the enemy is at the helm at times. A crazy enemy. Jealously, greed, adverse, hate, all these qualities we attribute to insanity if they are sunk in too far. All of us have some of these to some degree, our enemy has it all. That is why it is so opposite to God and heaven.
This morning I was thinking of the Sims as analogy for our lives. A program like Sims could explain how we are manipulated at times. Our DNA could be the program that determines our personality and shape. This silly analogy could partially explain how our names, read backwards, are so apt. (I haven’t come up with any other yet.) It could also explain something about how our society functions, as if we are left running on our own most of the time, but then something jerks our buttons, and even determines if we are supposed to succeed or fail in life? If we refuse to follow the program, someone steps in, humankind’s enemy, and gives us a push backwards? Imagine the havoc it could cause if any of this were true.
This could also be a good analogy for how we indirectly caused to move in various social directions. I read an article about herds and how if one moves left, the rest follow for no other reason than to follow. We humans do that. Here in Detroit we have a perfect example of people moving away from the city for no other reason than that someone else did, someone else thought it would improve their status by moving away. Now everyone believes they need to move out to a larger home to improve their status. I read that in Europe, it is the cities where you go to improve status.
This analogy fits so well it is scary. A few physicists have said that if we were a computer program, or living in a simulated universe, we would never know it. Yet, if we are, the enemy didn't create it. It is too complicated. The enemy is not the creator, not God, not very powerful as God measures power. Plus, many people seem to have defied the program, if there is one.
I asked this morning of an angel, "If we lived in such a program, what about the light? Isn’t that against the program? The enemy wouldn’t let it in.”
An angel said, "It was built in long ago."
I understood then. God put many qualities into his humans that are being blocked by the enemy, qualities that have been blocked for a long time. As if the enemy has went into our past to block them. This wouldn't be too hard to do with a simulation program, to go back and change something. Yet, you can't totally disrupt such a program you must follow the rules.
The light from God we have been given and shown anew is one of those ideas that defy the enemy. It works; it pushes away the darkness on our world.
So the ability to draw on the light and spread it around the earth is one of the gifts God gave us at our inception. Other abilities is new ways to use our minds. Remember what Jesus showed us of the people on his new earth? They could move their bodies through space with their mind. This implies many other abilities too. They control their population through the will to only have children who are wanted and loved. They probably do many other wonders. To get there, we will need to have a few of those same abilities? Makes sense.
We spend our time in trite pursuits like wealth, power, and status when with the same effort we could possibly learn to teleport our bodies, speak mind to mind, and heal the sick people and places on earth.
Jesus served as an example of what any human can do if they put their mind to it. He said as much when he told us that if we had the faith of a mustard seed we could tell a tree to jump into the water and it would. I don't think he was exaggerating by much. If it is all illusion, then why not? I truly believe that Jesus either came from the future or was introduced to it during his life; yet, he was a full human who was able to achieve extraordinary abilities. (Though some might argue that he was a God, it could also be argued that that is the path we are all supposed to be taking, one to join with God). When Jesus took me to New Earth, I saw people who could use these special powers. Jesus explained that the people living there were, "fully human."
Since we are fully human and we can't do such feats as to teleport our bodies like I saw on the other earth, then something is blocking this road from us. We allow our own potential to be hidden from us by wallowing in the darkness. By striving for triteness when we could instead strive for heaven. When we do try, it seems that the darkness works harder to stop us. For most of history it has squelch the bright soul light we received from God.
How to combat this darkness? It is what Jesus is teaching us to do right now. We begin by building up the light from the Source of God. The future can only change if we begin now. I would like to see children raised with the idea that meditation, vision, and imagination is a normal part of existence. Then let them take it from there. They could potentially take it further than we can now imagine. Our children have already done something with time that we thought could never be done, they know how to travel in it.
I don't mind if the whole universe is a computer program or dream controlled by God, that would mean that we have a lot of company. I do mind if we are a computer program infiltrated by an enemy who uses that program to cause pain and hate and disruption. It wasn't what we were created for. We were created to grow and join with God. We have been blocked from this for a long time. It is time to take the reins over.
So when our bible says some people in the past lived 300 years, it may be telling the truth. Our enemy has caused us to devolve, not only stand still, but move backwards. You might argue that our technology moves forward all the time. Well, it does, but is technology enough? I could come up with a lot of things we are not doing, but should. Social problems are one reason why those who dare predict the future at every new year, fail. Is it that social programs are the most amenable to manipulation by the enemy? Or is it easier to disrupt specific people?
All this is just analogy, another way of trying to understand what is going on in our world and what causes so much pain. There is always a little truth in a good analogy. A mirror that shows what we forget to look at in a new way. It never hurts and sometimes helps us see.
4/30/05
I woke up this morning upset so was determined to get rid of the feeling with meditation. I have learned to never trust bad feelings I wake up with because I don’t know where they came from. We should all wake up feeling refreshed and pleased to see the new day.
As soon as I began to meditate, the beautiful lady came to me and said, “I will help you.” Suddenly the a light glowed streaming around me so intense it was blinding. I could see it flowing far into the distance in the land of meditation or the soul.
After seeing my surprise, Jesus said, “She gave you some of her powerful light.”
I felt very powerful and capable of using the light for good. That is what I did. I went around the world in search of people who needed more light in their souls. I almost cried at the young boy who was in pain from a blood condition. I hope I helped him. Many other children, I can’t. Some children must go home, perhaps because their souls are pure.
I continued to go around pushing on the light so it would penetrate the people who hurt for whatever reason. I saw a man being tortured and hoped I helped him in some way. I went to Africa where there is much hurt and sorrow and threw the light all around. Then I came home to the US and spread the light. People here have great wealth and power which means their hearts need to stay in the right direction. By helping spread light at home, I can potentially contribute to the whole world.
I also joined Jesus and Y and other people in the circle for a moment. Y commented on my strength, and I smiled because even I could see the strength of the light at that moment, but knew I wouldn’t later. We sent the light around the world and flow over and through the seas also. I could detect the whale’s mind again and wondered what it would look like with a body. I suddenly saw a whale body in the air for a second. Not sure if it was my imagination or the whale sending it to me.
In all, this morning turned out fruitful, but I learned that it wasn’t over. When I mentioned to Jesus and Y that we haven’t traveled out in the universe for a while, Jesus said, “There is enough to see on earth.” and smiled.
Suddenly, I did see earth. An earth like I had never seen before. I saw many layers intertwined with each other. The people looked like ghosts and their emotions were moving around the earth as if on their own trajectory, as if our paths were more real than ourselves. Not just emotions but many other layers of ways of being human, our drives and causes and likes and dislikes. If each movement had been a different color, it would have looked like a many faceted diamond rainbow flowing around the earth, even up into space like an ever expanding flower.
I felt truly amazed to be allowed to see such depth and multiplicity. This must be how God sees us, I thought, how God knows our drives and wants and needs before we know our own.
There was a difference between the layers, as I soon noticed. The bottom was darker than then the layers towards the top. The difference was caused by a type of gravity, but emotion. The darker emotions seemed to feed on themselves and stay heavy and on the bottom while the more pleasant emotions rose up high. The dark energy that pushes and prods at us is what keeps us grounded.
Perhaps the word emotion doesn’t cover enough territory for what I mean. What I think I saw were human drives and goals and causes and feelings flowing in levels of vaporous action.
Jesus just let me watch without comment, so I have described it the best I can. I know one thing, after seeing this vision of earth, I don’t ever intend to allow myself to be pulled down into its depths.
The bottom layers seemed to be true earthly hells with many people alive and living though such agony right now. I can’t say what put them on the bottom, lack of heart, bad circumstances or severe pain. I don’t think it included people living in the pain of poverty so much as the pain of hate. Truly I don’t know. All I know is that the darkest layer lay within the earth’s core. I assume it was all a symbol or was it real? Don’t know that answer either. Perhaps Jesus will explain one day, but I think it is most obvious what the dark and light mean.
I saw the cause of the darkness as well. I wanted the enemy to end, to stop causing all this darkness, but I didn’t know how to do that. For an answer, I imagined myself as a child in a schoolyard being confronted by a bully. The bully is running towards me. I dare not pound the bully out because that is the way darkness works. So what to do? I kept moving away from the bully’s reach, but how long could I keep it up? Finally, I saw that I had wore this bully down to a frazzle. It was exhausted and gasping for air. I also saw that I had won.
This is the only way I know to fight the enemy of humanity and keep walking in the light. The angels must know this truth already. Jesus knew it long ago. The enemy continues to darken while Jesus constantly brings new light to the surface of earth. One day, we will all win.