August 05
I have been thinking about Gandhi and what a perfect example his life is for all of us who wish to correct this imbalanced world of ours. I just read about a small study in Atlantic Monthly that agreed that the most potent and long lasting changes come from the grass roots, not from the top. It is large numbers of people with new thinking who change the world, not the people who think they are in power.
Unfortunately for us, the terrorists believe this too, they use feelings of wrongness, discontent and religious beliefs to pull people to their side, it is just that their methods are screwed towards inciting violence and terror. Have they achieved their purpose. No, although, they have caused change in the way we perceive Islam, for good and ill. It is more prominent in everyone's mind now.
They believe in their cause, but have chosen destruction towards their goal, the total opposite of God and good. Every once in a while, a severe infection of dark malevolence seeps onto our earth. The late 70's were the beginning of this rot taking over people. It doesn't matter if you believe that it came from outside ourselves or from inside, the result is the same. If someone were planning the destruction of earth people, they have made a good inroad towards it by inciting everyone with discontent and giving them a cause to rise up and be angry about.
How this
has happened may not be as important as that all kinds of damage are occurring
now. We look at terrorists, but there are more subtle destructions afoot. In
The evil is all done by helping people into the belief that they are separate and important and have the right to stomp over other people, be it with money, power, terror, rules, slavery, anger, etc (the list is too long to print out here) No matter if the enemy is only ourselves with a screwed up social caste system or an outside enemy who has deliberately set out to undermine us, the result will be the same.
It has happened before, this push towards great evil. It happened in Jesus time, during WWII and other times in the 20th century, but today this movement seems bent on a grander scale of destruction. It must be halted or stopped, if that is possible.
Ah, finally back to Gandhi. I feel a sense of comfort writing his name after writing about all that horrific woe. Peace at last, and also a question to answer. If all that evil has pushed at us, why hasn't it won? We know why it didn't win in the 1st century, the image of Jesus death and resurrection was stronger than whatever the enemy was selling.
What will work for us in this century while such great evil has a foot in the door?
Jesus has given us a new means of pushing against the evil of our time. It was Jesus and Mary who showed me the Source and the light that creates all life. It is Jesus who directs me as I learn and spread the ideas about gathering in a circle, pushing a wall of light around the world, sending prayers directly mind to mind, and much more. We modern people are capable of understanding more than our ancestors. We are also in a serious battle for souls, a battle between light and darkness, good and evil. The end times are now and we are in it.
Are greatest weapon is our psyche or soul/mind. As more of us learn to speak to our soul, learn to gather in the light, learn to walk the sky tunnel, and learn to push the light outward, we will overcome the modern evil that besets us.
As Jesus once said, "They hate the light."
That is enough reason for me to spread the light, to send it streaming outwards with my mind to my neighborhood and to the outer corners of the earth. It is a visual mind/prayer that I can watch as it surrounds people to feed their souls. By spreading this light, I am following modern peace movements of Gandhi's and Martin Luther King Jr.. I am cutting into the darkened blight that surrounds the earth. I am following Jesus' direction and that of his angels.
I intend to keep pushing the light outwards until half of humanity gathers in the light, the half who are written of in the book of life, the ones who will travel to the stars, the ones who become wise and spiritual. The lighted side is the one I want to stand on.
The light is food for the soul, but it also has the added benefit of making the dark souls stand apart from the rest. The more God's light flows around the earth, the more their shame or destructiveness will be evident. They will stand apart like dark logs in fog, unable to send thoughts or share in the bliss. With Jesus and Ava Maria's help, this will be done.
It is funny that I began thinking to write about Gandhi and how I want to emulate his method of peace to rid the earth of darkness. I intended to point out the failures of people and nations who throw down the established order, most do so only to become worse than the system they threw down, like communism, fascism, dictatorships. So what I intend is a peace movement of light to surround the earth. I am not sure how the light displaces the darkness, but it does not cause harm.
No matter what cause anyone pushes and wins, the world will always have certain social realities we can't get away from. There will always be people with the most power and money, just as there will always be poor. There will always be a need for leaders and rules all along the strata of society. There will always be people who don't fit into the mainstream well, the creative, inquisitive, dedicated, drop-outs, or genius personality. Last of all, we will always abound in ignorance and lack of wisdom, if for no other reason, then half of us humans are children.
I think I need to stop writing for today. I am beginning to preach, something I promised myself I would never do. Yet, I intend to continue to share my dream, a dream of this old earth covered in soul light. Sunlight is visual evidence of God's love, the Source’s light is evidence for the soul.
8/4/05
Jesus told me this evening that another person is going to join with myself and Y to travel. He showed me an image of the person and I realized that I have seen this person before during one of my many romps through the light to speak to people and hug them. I remember he was praying and we nodded to each other. He had a long white beard and wears a long robe. I don’t know if he was a Jewish, Islamic or some other religious leader, but I could tell he was wise. I will learn more about him, bit by bit, as we travel. But I already wonder by what name he will call Jesus. I guess I will learn that too eventually.
Within minutes of writing this, I gathered with Jesus, Y, and the new visitor. The four of us met in the sky tunnel. I asked the new member if he minded if I wrote about him and he said that he did not care. Because it would be too revealing to use names, plus, I don’t know his name, I need to pick out a letter symbol to use for him. I decided on W because it is the next letter down the alphabet that I haven’t used before. (I don’t know what happened to X, never see him.)
The four of us followed Jesus as he walked down the tunnel. I showed W how I like to rub the wooden sides of the tunnel to orientate myself and he tried it too. When we got to the end of the tunnel and saw the rings floating and rolling around each other, we all hesitated and waited for Jesus to make the decision of where to go.
I could guess at the awe W was feeling because I had felt it myself and so did Y. The awe gets mixed in with anticipation and a touch of fear. I still feel those things just before I travel. It is a grand step to walk through the rings. I asked Jesus where he was taking us, but he only smiled, and stepped through. We followed.
I was greatly surprised to step onto nothing. There was no ground beneath our feet. I realized that Jesus must think highly of W’s ability to grasp the impossible, because what we were looking at in front of us was just that-impossible.
In front of us was a tall glass tower, wider than I could see across, with people of every order rising up as if on an invisible escalator. Not just people, but many strange beings too wearing colorfully splendid costumes and headdresses. Some were moving up, some sideways, and some down. It was a an amazing maze of people moving every which way without seeming support.
Jesus saw our amazement and said, “It is a universal node, the same place that you called Nexus.”
I looked at it with new eyes. The first time I saw it I thought people were on moving stairways, now I saw that they moved on nothing. The people were walking on air.
I asked Jesus why they came here this way when they could use a sky tunnel.
Jesus answered, “Tunnels are attached to worlds, sometimes one way. This node is for gathering and community between worlds.”
I understood then. “It is a place for people to gather from many worlds?”
“Yes,” Jesus answered, “There are also other nodes in the universe. Follow me.” He added.
So we did. We floated up behind him as if we were on a long, rolling road, but no ground was evident, yet we didn’t fall through. I couldn’t help wondering how Jesus knew which way to go or what direction a road would take us. But I did see something like red letter symbols floating here and there as we moved by. Obviously, it was words that everyone understood and used for direction.
Suddenly, Jesus stepped off and disappeared and because we were right behind him, we followed. I assume we also disappeared from the other place. This place we had stepped onto was definitely a planet. A truly stark, and strangely beautiful planet. The continent we stood on was covered with nothing but sand dunes. Waves of sand went on for miles in every direction the eye could see. The sky was a deep blue with no clouds and the sun looked like ours.
W bend down to feel the sand between his fingers and I was surprised to see it pour out from his hands. Both Y and myself, bent down too and touched the sand. I could feel the gritty grains between my fingers. Amazing. I still don’t know how we did that, being ghosts and all.
Jesus showed us that most of this world was sand dunes with a few scattered mountain ranges and rock outcroppings.
Jesus said, “Like the book you read, Dune.” And smiled.
“There are only a few lakes on this planet.” He said.
I looked around at the millions of hills and valleys of the sand and couldn’t help wondering if there were worms here too.
We went over to a large stand of boulders and I asked Jesus about giant worms.
He answered in the affirmative which surprised me, but shouldn’t have. I think, and Jesus has agreed with this theory, that novelists can visualize real worlds when they write about them, though, probably not the true characters. I thought to ask Jesus if this world had spice like in the Dune books.
But right then, Jesus said, “It is time to leave.”
I had to agree. The stress of too much new can wear a person down. I imagined that our new friend, W, was getting very tired. I looked at Y and smiled as he nodded back. We agreed that it was a lot to take in on one trip, but W did it well.
We left and found ourselves back inside the sky tunnel. Ah, a sense of relief, the tunnel felt like home. But I had to know, so I asked Jesus, “How did you know where the door was on the desert world? How did you know the way home?”
“The door is everywhere if you have the mind to understand.”
Now I felt more confused than ever.
Jesus said, “It is like a diamond with many facets and each facet face is the same door. It is all mind.
“Like imagination? What if I imagine myself on a ship, would I be on a ship? What if I imagine myself rich? Were all those people solid? Real?”
“Are you solid? Real?” Jesus asked.
That was when we parted, with the question hanging in the air. With much to think about, that is for sure. I am not sure if anyone could understand about a point that is everywhere; yet, we have used the doorway many times. I stopped thinking about it all and just wrote our visit and my questions down. It is tiring to visit new places even thought it only lasts a few minutes. But I am not complaining, I love it. Travel with Jesus fits me to a tee.
8/5/05
I was thinking about the new friend who is traveling with us now, the one I call W. I suspect he is like Y in that he is a religious leader who is wise and greatly respected in his own circle. In this respect, I am the child because I have no followers or even respect, for that matter. Yet, when surrounded by all this greater wisdom, Jesus, Y, and now W, I don’t feel reduced in any way. Perhaps because I consider myself a student. Certainly I am like the scribes of old, writing the events down for later generations to read.
My friend Y has told me I am like an arrow, I point to the new all the time. I like this description and think it means that I ask the pertinent questions that help give direction to what we learn and discover next. Jesus, of course, has given me assurance in myself and my thinking. His own comments tease me forward to new realms of thinking. Just as when he was on earth, he is the teacher and I am the student.
But there is more than just a student teacher relationship going on. Ava Maria has poured light into me and keeps telling me to use it. Sometimes showing me how I should use it. Heaven wants me to grow stronger and it may be that I have the key to a viable future. This seems to be the direction in which I am being moved. In the new future, just as in a circle, we will be leaving behind egos, one up man ship and the monkey strut of bravo. We will learn to feel the value in each one of us. This is not hard to do once you have joined in the circle because it takes a certain high spirituality to stand there and gather in the light. All of us who do so are already valuable for having achieved such height as a mind that can walk in the sky. In this writing, I see great hope for us all.
8/5/05
This writing is odd and strange and I can only wonder if it is a form racial memory.
I was standing on Mars in a circle with other people when my mind drifted off this notion came to me of a grandiose weapon. I was suddenly in a bomb situation on Mars. It was decided by those of us in my daydream that something had to be done with the weapon, a weapon more powerful than a thousand nukes. We question and argued about where to send the devise that was unstoppable and about to go off. Of course, no one wanted it on any world, so it was decided to send it between worlds, between Mars and Earth. We had sent the weapon that was like a thousand nukes. It pulverized the planet, destroying it totally.
Right then, I told Jesus and Y what I had seen as a dream and thought it might be a racial memory. Y said that his religion has such memories that they have kept secret for long centuries. W, who was also standing in the circle, said the same thing. I think there will come a time when many of these secrets can be brought out into the light. Jesus smiled at my thought because that is his intention, to teach us the truth. I don’t wonder that we once, eons ago, possessed such weapons and used them. If we don’t want to use them again we’d better enlighten ourselves so we can prevent it.
Surly there is more love on our
earth than hate? Surly we won’t use any more nukes. We need to see ourselves as
on group of people that fills the world, where we all have importance. There
are too many woes on our planet and it is up to us to do something to change it
somehow. I have been praying for those people who own industries to create more
jobs for people. Nothing except health is more important than employment, at
least in
I hope to keep sending out the light to feed hearts and minds and sow love, just as Jesus intends. Spreading love through the light and prayer is the only way to save the planet earth and ourselves. Jesus knew this truth two thousand years ago, every wise person learns this truth eventually. It is the hearts of the people that will save us, if we are to be saved.
8/8/05
After I gathered the light within myself, I joined Jesus, Y and a large circle of people on Mars. We stood and collected, enhanced and sent it around the planet of Mars. I had the notion that it was silly to send it around on mars, but Jesus said, “It needs it.”
I thought about this and still don’t understand. I said, “Still?” and all I could think of is its lifelessness, but maybe some type of malevolence is still there like bad vibes.
We next came back to earth and Y said, "We need to spread the light all around the earth again. It is good for all of us on earth."
So this is what we did. We gathered in a line and began to push the light forward and kept it flowing behind us like a blanket. To do this because the earth is so very huge, we each became a larger then life invisible spirit. We kept walking and picking up people who seemed to light up as they felt the light pass over them.
After we
had filled the earth and sky with light from the Source, I came down and began
to walk around within the light. I went to a few children’s hospitals here in
My biggest
push I saved for my own dire city,
And why not? I know this much, with the light from God flowing all around the world, better is possible. So why not imagine the best. Certainly, it can’t hurt. I realize that any change that would benefit all of us will move in slow motion. The west is certainly not going to stop producing cars, or kill its own infrastructure in order to increase other county's wealth. But we may push harder towards hybrid autos, etc. There is much hope left, so I used it.
We dare not kill our own jobs in order to make jobs for other people. Or is that what we did, in small part, with the pact of world trade? Maybe, but if we did, it is a very mature thing to do. It helps us keep moving and growing together into one. Every country and person is a part of this broad earth and deserves to reap its rewards. As the world becomes more balanced, our human psyches will too. When we reap rewards and leave others behind, our psyches are damaged a little and it effects us even if we don’t realize it. The slave holders of years ago had desperate, ugly psyches that took a long time to heal; their minds were enslaved more than the people they held. It takes maturity of thought to understand that this point is true and valid. Yet, I believe most people are able to grasp it.
8/11/05
This
morning I was thinking before work that I should change my name to Truman. I
have actually noticed actors around me playing a part. I saw one man in a wheel
chair who I used to take care of as a minor actor in a few movies. It wasn't a
mistake, you can't help wash a person's ears day after day without getting to
know him well. So I was thinking I should change my name when I got the notion
to run the name Truman backwards. It reads namurt = name u r t = name that you
are
A revolting development or an enlightening one, you decide. So is my keeper also a loving devil as Truman's was? I don't feel very loved. I have lived with such lack as no one would believe. Bad teeth are the most notable sign of severe lifelong need. One of my teeth is so bad that for the last two years, my chin and lip tingle when the flow of shower hits it. Finally I braved going to a dentist and he told me I need a root canal done, which would cost more than a thousand dollars. So when I finally get some money from selling my writings, the first thing I will do is get my teeth fixed. Maybe on some kind of payment plan.
For the last few days, my bad tooth has caused me to have a headache and earache. The whole side of my face seems involved. I have asked the angels if they can help. I don't imagine they can make bad teeth better, but they may be able to keep them from getting worse. The angels told me they will try to heal my tooth. So I took two aspirin and used a peroxide mouth wash, so as to give them a head start, and now I hope for the best.
I had another break through this morning. Don't know where this great idea came from, but to me a mind expanding idea is almost as exciting as sex. While I was running around dancing and exercising to the music and sending the light outward from my body this morning, I had a sudden wake-up call of what else the light does for us beside feed our souls. The light also confounds the illusion we all live under. Light pushes back on the darkness which is the same as saying the shadow that hides the truth.
I am not
the only Truman on earth. We may all be Trumans wrapped up in created illusion.
You've heard all about illusion or Maya before, but it is true. I read a quote
once long ago from a man/god, Menes, in
I am as seeped in this illusion as anyone, but I believe I have figured out what it means. Most of us cringe at the thought that our material world could be an illusion. It is an arguable point, but I won't argue it here because it isn't important for truth. The real truth is that it is our social systems that are the illusion. If we think about it, that is what our lives are based on. When Jesus took me to the new earth, I saw people who he said were the same as us doing amazing things, like teleporting.
Jesus said to me, “The people are fully human.”
If they can do such things, why can’t we? The answer is simple, we are not trained to accept the possibility, we are not taught the idea of mind expansion, many of us are not even directed to be moral. The Skinner box idea which I once hated because of the way he treated his own child, may have merit.
What he failed to take into consideration was that mankind had a powerful enemy. An enemy who disrupts our urge toward a moral life. Anyone who tries to understand society without accepting that we are driven towards evil is lost before they begin. We are like infants who constantly chase after and grab what is put before them.
Ah, but there is great hope for us. Jesus teaches me what to write and his angels have made a promise. They said, “We will stay and help.”
They will stay and help push the illusion and dark back. They will help us in wisdom and teach us how to bring in more light. Ava Maria fills me with the light that is infinite. The Source from God will open our eyes to a new reality. I don’t expect this change to come in a flash. Human social changes move creepingly slow. But gradually I hope to see more people listening to the wake up call from heaven. More people will dare to walk the sky tunnel, travel with Jesus, or carry the light around the world. There is great hope if we take the reins.
8/13/05
Last night before I went to bed, I joined Y and W in a circle. Jesus was in the circle too but from now on he intends to remain as one of us, part of the circle, and not its center. He wants us to be self-sufficient in our travels and faith. I think I wrote Jesus intention badly, but I am still not sure what he means.
We walked around the earth spreading the light. Y said to me as we did so. “The light really works.”
I was glad to hear the confirmation come from him. I get moments when I feel pushed in the opposite direction and I begin wondering if it is as effective as I want to believe. I have no proof that it works. So when my efforts get taunted, it is easy to fall prey to doubt. The confirmation from Y made me feel good.
My doubts may spring from the fact that both Y and, I suspect, W are more powerful than I am; certainly, they are better versed in deep meditation or in controlling their minds. I am still a novice when it comes to control. My best contribution is as a point person, one who aims the arrow of inquiry in the next direction; it is they who help a new truth or direction do the work. Without them, my efforts would be little.
There is a reason Jesus insists on being part of the circle specifically at this time. In our new world way of thinking, no one sect or religion or leader is at the top in a spiritual sense. All religions and peoples are represented in the circle. Neither Y nor W nor myself are superior to anyone else. We all hold the same position as no one stands in the center. This idea of unity is as old as civilization but gives a new fresh spirit to our efforts. The idea that every one has something to offer and is on the same level is vital to the new age that is coming and working its way through our psyches, the new age that is already here in many people.
Jesus tells me that a few women will be joining our group soon. I guess I'll assign them a letter too, and will be glad to have them. I do worry how I can write of such a larger group traveling. But I think I need not worry too much. I don’t need to give everyone cover space, or make sure I include everyone. This is not important anymore, at least after we grow more numerous. I can envision members of the travel group going off by themselves eventually. I can envision myself traveling with each one of them at various times. I can envision many more people joining us. Well, my visions could run off the map, as we all know.
A possible analogy of the dark that surrounds: This illusion of dark that we are trying to push away is like a shadow made up of fine black powder. By bringing in the light, the powder particles are changed to reflect the sunlight. In this way the air we live and breath in becomes more clear? In some sense, the whole of the universe we see from earth is made up of this fine black powder. It pervades our whole way of life, our thoughts, and explains why we are secluded from the true universe.
Is the sky dark because of the shadow? No, because the dark I speak of is invisible to the human eye, but we truly are inside a dark cloud in the milky way that may have something to do with this? Well, I don't know. What is really important is that our minds are in need of the light, our whole social system of values has been corrupted by the shadow of illusion that needs to be lifted.
Our drives and hungers are built up from within the dark illusion. (the same thing the Buddhists have been saying for centuries) all the causes and wrongs that plague each of us, and that we fight for are illusions set upon us by the shadowy enemy. An enemy that pulls us toward feeling disjointed, displaced, taken advantage of, being put down, etc. So we grab at a cause in an attempt to fix what ails us. We march for war or against war, we join the fight or we don't, we find numerous causes to fight for in either word, action, belief, or war. Some kill for their cause.
What we humans need to finally realize is that there is only one cause. That all causes within this illusion flow from the one manipulator of our woes, the enemy. There is one enemy or group of them who are deliberately trying to undermine all of us, and doing a good job of it. They are using us as their lab experiments, they are using our drives and dreams against us.
I have witnessed a strange thing in a few people, where a person suddenly becomes extremely handsome, so much so that a women could fall helplessly in love in an instant. I believe it happens like that with a few criminals, but the next day the women wakes up and that person is no longer the same, but then it is too late. That was the enemy putting an overlay of illusion on the person. It has been happening since the 1970’s. Another example is the extremely handsome man who walks around as gay person. I have seen him, too. Jesus pointed him out to me a few times and made comments such as, "You won't find that one in any church." He inducts people into gayness.
The reason
for all this temptation is that it puts separation between us, pits one side
against another. So this person who walks our earth as the tempting one, is
building up the gay community for his own purpose. Or trying to incite the black
community, or driving people to dislike Moslems or… the purpose and methods are
obvious, if endless.
But the light can dispel the feeling of disunity. We who use God's light and spread it around are stealing this built up foundation from under the enemy. With the light glowing from many people and covering the earth, we can reduce its strength and the illusion around us. As we keep spreading the light, the only disruptive causes that will be left are those the die hard killers. They will stand out like dead poles standing in a fog. They will be done.
8/14/05
The reading from Isaiah this morning gave me a lot to think about, Isaiah can give anyone something to think about. What a great writer. This morning in Isa. 56:6-7.
God mentions the foreigners who love and serve him and keep his Sabbath. At the mention of Sabbath I felt a qualm of worry. Do I keep the Sabbath? I am fortunate that I don’t need to work at any job on Sunday, but other people do. They have no choice. I guess that lets them off the hook. As I was feeling concern, Jesus came to me and smiled. I took that to mean that I was ok. I thought to write my thoughts and put them on the web, but I am not sure what my thoughts are or what keeping the Sabbath means. Jesus said, “Write what just what you said.”
So that is what I am doing. I don’t know if I keep the Sabbath or not. I do try to stay away from heavy house work and use the day for rest or visits with family. Perhaps this is all that is asked of us. If those who need to work must take another day to use as a rest day, then God doesn’t expect more of us. That was my interpretation of Jesus smile.
But the Sabbath isn’t what really turned my thoughts on in Isaiah. It was the mountain, God’s holy mountain. I quote:
"Them [faithful foreigners] I will bring to my holy mountain and make joyful in my house of prayer…For my house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples.”[1]
The mountain God speaks of here is an actual world called God’s World. Jesus has taken me there. It is a golden world of life and beauty, a paradise world reserved for visitors. God said a world for “All Peoples.” This is a specific statement that God doesn’t only invite the Hebrews; God also invites everyone to his house. A bold statement implying that one large, golden planet I call God's will someday link to another large planet, earth?
It may even be that God’s planet or world moves in a path of God’s choosing and may be coming towards us through space even now. At the end of Revelation, it is implied that this will be so.
Rev 21:2 And I saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, descending out of heaven from God, having been prepared like a bride having been adorned [for] her husband. ALT
This reads like a very large space ship city coming down out of the sky to greet us. I speculate that this may be why I, with my extensive science fiction background, was chosen to write for Jesus. We are finally being taught the real truth about the many worlds in the universe and our place in it. Our knowledge is slowly being brought up to par with the rest of the universe so we can better meet the future, a future with God. I am not sure what else I can add to this except to suggest that you get out the bible and read it for your self.
8/15/05
This morning I met with Jesus Y and W. I sensed a few women who hovered in the background, in and out of my vision. They may join us soon. I have been feeling out of sorts for a few days and not spreading the light well. Maybe I was slowed down by attack. Y said that while I was feeling out of it they took up the slack. Y and W have been spreading the light when ever they could. This is good. It means that when one of us is busy or not well, the others will continue. So the more people who join us in traveling and spreading the light the better. When we spread the light, there is always large numbers who join, but I am not sure if they understand they joined or how holy they really are.
This morning we joined in circles. We began on Mars. I felt the stones beneath my feet as we reached out our hands and began to let the light flow. The feeling of stones at my feet helps me feel orientated to Mars, also the yellow sky and orange mountains in the background. Beautiful really, and it could almost feel like home, which it might have been eons ago.
We let the light flow all around Mars which is easer than earth because there are fewer hindrances, such as dark or ignorant minds. Notice I said fewer, not none. It is a feeling like instinct, but I also think it is true. There is something there on Mars. We spread the light because, if it is the enemy, we know they hate the light.
Next we came to earth and joined in circles in various places. I won’t say were but a few are obvious and depend on where we live. I learned that W lives in the middle east but I still don’t know what religion he follows, but it doesn't matter. I value his strength along with Y’s.
As we filled
the super large circles with light, I went around to those I love and know,
sending light to them specifically. I usually try to do this often. At other
times I send the light to children in hospitals or solders fighting the war or
the people in dire needs in
I am not always as flowing with strong light every day either. Mary (Ava Maria) comes to me when I ask and her presence builds up the light within me as if it were infinite, which it is, and this gives me strength. But on days after I have been slack, I need to regroup and it takes a while. Also I will need to begin teaching again soon, thankfully. But this leaves less time for meditation and spreading the light. It is important, and I won’t stop, but I am not always perfect. Who is. This is why we are all need to take up the slack for each other.
8/17/05
I had a revelation this morning while doing my exercises. I swirled the light around as I jogged around the table, and as I did so, I wondered if the light really was working right then. Suddenly I realized something about the light that I hadn't known before. It not only clears the way for us to see past the illusion surrounding us, but it also tends to blind the view of those enemies who would watch and keep tabs on us. Maybe they don't watch you, but they do me.
It is just as Jesus said in a biblical phrase I could never understand before.
Jesus said, "I came to make the blind see, and the seeing blind." I always considered it a figure of speech that was meant to jolt us awake. Now I know that Jesus, who is from the future as well as the past, was speaking the real truth. We are not only learning to see through the illusions set up, but we are blinding the perps who confound us as we spread the light.
Jesus told me once that I would want to keep the light glowing all the time within myself and without. I didn't understand why I would want to make such a great effort, but now I understand. If I want my privacy, and I do, I will need to keep myself surrounded by the light.
So how does
the enemy or this monster as I prefer to call it view me? That has been
something I grappled with for a long while. I remember reading the book about
Diana in
The light will hinder the enemy greatly if we can get a large enough number of people to spread it. Jesus said the light from the Source or God comes out of our center. I have found this to be true. If you choose, you can feel and see the light come from you and then help spread it as wide as possible. It will blind the enemy like a over bright light blinds a camera. Our actions will then be less controlled by the enemy who tries to manipulate certain people. The more we learn and use the light, the freer we will be to make a world of our own choosing, not theirs.
8/17/05
We met on a mountain and immediately went into the tunnel. W told us he had a specific place where he wanted to go, so we felt the sides of the tunnel for a moment as a touch of thanks and then gave him the lead.
As we walked towards the opening, I thought about the other tunnels Jesus had taken me through. Some of them had curtains instead of the rings in our tunnel. I asked Jesus why. He explained that each world creates its own tunnel to fit its needs. Makes sense.
We arrived
at the end of the tunnel where the rings are gathered one upon another or
swimming about until we stepped inside. My first impression was bright red and
blue colors, then my vision took in more details. The most obvious detail I saw
at first was a deep vivid blue that shined beneath a hot sun. The blue was
shaped like an onion, a mosque in
I was wrong about where we had traveled. We hadn't went into the past at all, but to the new earth that Jesus had created. My new friend, W, had wanted to see how the culture was displayed on the new earth. I understood that it looked like it did during its greatest times.
Jesus explained that the people who built and kept the culture going, choose this time, even though they also live in a very modern world with talents and technology of the future. Each culture that is represented here chooses its own peak time to showcase.
Interesting, as if the new earth could be everything to everybody and maybe it could. I dare not call it a living museum because that would put this splendid place down a notch, and it is so grand a place as to take your breath away. And we were not standing in one of its most beautiful cities.
As we stood there, a small man wearing a long white beard walked up to us. He just stood there for a while. I noticed that as we were about to leave, he smiled and followed. I liked him immediately, but I wondered what he wanted from us.
I turned to him and said, "You have a very beautiful world here."
"Yes." He agreed, then added, "A mirror to your own."
"But it is very peaceful here. The truth is that it was bloody wars that created the cultures you duplicate here on this new earth." I said. "And we have plenty of wars going on right now."
We were all quiet for a moment, then turned and followed Jesus to go back, but he followed us still.
I turned and gave him a puzzled look.
To which he answered, "I am going with you."
Jesus spoke up then. He said, "The tunnel is open to travelers on both sides."
"But what if something comes through that is harmful?"
"The chance of you carrying harm is far greater than any coming through this tunnel."
I remembered what Jesus had said in the past, that if armies were to try to come through the tunnel it would dissolve.
I turned to the small man who seemed to ware a secret grin ever since we met him, and said, "I truly hope you have a nice trip."
"Only a short stay, but your earth is so different, I am sure I will."
I get the impression as I write this that I am forgetting something. It might be that this man had been waiting for a long time for the tunnel to get built on earth. I am not sure.
I said my good by's to Y and W so I could write down about our travel this evening. I liked the idea of visitors coming in to visit from time to time, but I shuddered at what they would find here. We have strife and horror going on somewhere on earth all the time. It is embarrassing. Before I stopped writing, I tried to spread the light far into the world, or I thought I did.
Jesus said to me. "Don't sell yourself short. You did spread the light far."
This pleased me because although I can imagine myself doing so, I still need confirmation once in a while to understand it as true. I know now, it worked for a few moments.
8/20/05
I am so proud of humanity this morning and our ability to band together when the going gets rough. We did this morning and my heart swelled with pride and great hope. Once more we walked over the land and oceans of the world pushing a curtain of light out in front of us. I noticed that so many people joined in the effort to help the world, it was awe-inspiring. The light flowed as if lit up from many people as the curtain of light came over them. I suspect that many didn’t know how greatly they contributed to the effort. All they need to be is a good person who cares deeply for the well-being of earth, and their light catches up with the curtain and gives it support. It doesn’t matter which direction our single personalities or peculiarities drive, the soul knows the light. The soul joins in the battle for earth.
This brings me to a point I thought of while we walked and spread the light. Not every one can see the light flow from their bodies, not everyone is into meditation. This led me to remembered what Jesus said about the light. “It is prayer.”
And what is prayer? It is a feeling of godliness in our life, an emotion of goodness, a spreading of gladness, sending thoughts of hope, our delight in the wonder of a single flower, a positive reinforcement of the world around us. Prayer is a blessing upon the world that flows through us from God. These were my thoughts this morning.
So I want to explain to those people who don’t have the time to sit down and meditate or the inclination to pour out the light, but who still have great concern about the state of the world and love it, that you can join the fight by sending out thoughts of wonder and joy around you, thereby filling space with pleasure. You can smile, you can give complements, you can think beauty around you.
Jesus said, “The light is the most potent weapon you have against the enemy.”
But your emotions of love sent into your surroundings will work too. It is amazing how well we humans can pull together when the need arises. It has risen now and we seem to be pulling together to put up the good fight.
We are lucky in today’s modern world because we can grasp the enemy’s tactics better. We always knew that some devil was capable of taunting humans, pulling them from the good, and that some evil could drive people into destruction. But we never put it into modern terms before. Now we can, and it builds up our knowledge base immensely. Specifically, we know more now about one of the methods the enemy tries to use against us. The enemy has the ability to enter a person’s mind and attempt to drive its thoughts in a certain direction or manipulate a person’s actions. It can make the attempt, but isn’t always successful; we humans can put up a strong fight.
It is not un-like a science fiction character that can take over another person’s mind. That is an apt description of how the enemy works within us. It can also cover people with a temporary overlay for its own reasons. The enemy can also create the need for actions and causes as well as drives of hate in people by playing with our minds. This ability to enter people’s minds allowed it to do many things to us that we were not aware of. Not any more.
We now have the magic bullet. The talent to prevent this enemy from using us sits inside our own minds as it always has, but our ammunition is more powerful today because we have a better understand of what is going on. We don’t need to let it in to wreck house; we can shoot it away with a single thought, a blast of light, or prayer. Sometimes it takes practice on how to aim and pull the trigger of this magic bullet, but it can be done. The trick is recognizing the thing or monster as it attempts to manipulate you. Catch it early and you can put it down right then. Will it come back? Sure, but you have the magic ready at hand now, so all you need to is use it.
There have been many times when I was on my way shopping and had the choice to turn left or go straight, left meant Wal-Mart and straight meant K-Mart. More often than I like to admit, I turned my car to the left. I still don’t know why. I think the shelves at Wal-Mart are always messed up and the merchandise hard to find. So why did I go there? Why do people buy large cars? Why do adults read Harry Potter, why do we often run around in circles and get nothing done?
I will never forget a statement Jesus made to me about the enemy. He said, “The enemy always does things in excess because that is its nature.”
So when I see some trend that seems to be excessive and far over normal, I take another look to see what is driving it. Often, it is hard to tell except the person or company is making great amounts of money so fast as to spin the mind, as if putting a stash up for future use? This excessive drive is reason to suspect a second objective, a harmful one. Not always true, but certainly worth another look.
8/23/05
Had a difficult time updating my notes for this web page. For the moment, the problem is fixed. I decided that I needed to write something pleasant before the next writing because it is a little dismal. What can I say except we have had such beautiful days lately, cool and pleasant. Perfect bike riding weather, so I need get outside and ride more. I miss the people I used to stop and talk with so much in the neighborhood, but time moves on. In fact, each day moves me closer to the date school will start. Ah, well, the money will certainly get spent and just having a job reminds me to think of people out there who don't. I feel grateful.
8/21/05- edit for web [can wait to put this on next week]
The phrase of the gospel this morning read:
Mat 16:18 And so I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it.
The alt bible with a literal translation has:
Mat 16:18 "Now _I_ also say to you, that _you_ are
Peter ["a stone"], and on this
solid rock I will build my Assembly [or, Church],
and [the] gates of the realm of the
dead [Gr., hades] will not prevail
against it. [ALT]
What I found interesting is the change of words from netherworld to realm of the dead. For some reason I think of netherworld as a mild, gray nothing type of place, and the realm of the dead as active and alive with punishment. I thought perhaps I got this idea from the Old Testament, but I couldn’t find the word 'netherworld' in any of my bibles.
No matter, what is important is that that dead people, people stepping up from the realm of the dead are coming back to work at undoing Jesus words and the works people do in his name.
This has happened often throughout history, and seems to center on certain time periods. We are living during one of these major time periods right now, living in a war zone. The same battle that the Essences spoke of in their writings when they described a final battle between force of light and the forces of darkness.
It is hard to imagine that the ones fighting us might be from the realm of the dead, and not the good guys, either. How would they get here? I don’t know. Is it that the slaves of the enemy go into people and turn them to evil? If so, then who should be blamed? Who actually does the wrongness, the person or the evil within? This is so far beyond normal thinking and our science that we couldn’t grapple with it even if we had proof. And certainly, I can’t prove it is happening and must call it speculation. But I don't think it is speculation, I have seen strange occurrences that can only fit some of this data. I do know there is a battle going on between the forces of light and darkness and ask people to spread the light as much as possible.
8/23/05-just spewing
As I relax the other day my mind wandered and settled on the status of women in the world. Modern women have moved up in the world, mostly in the business world or in politics, but maybe not in a way that reflects their real worth as valuable human beings. It is as if women decided to overtake the men’s role in society in the hopes of making themselves more worthy, but they were already worthy of great respect. I speculate that this kind of thinking, the need to become more capable in a power-hungry world, could lead us down a false path. The enemy who would run us, always thinks in terms of power and money, If women follow this road too far, are following the enemy? Power and wealth is how it drives the world and how it sustains its own power.
Back to the point, why would women choose to become high in business in order to be worthy when they already have traits of such lasting value that our world would die without them. I am referring not only to a women's ability to have children but also their tendency to nurture the people around them and the animals and earth we live on. Where would the world be without the hearts of its women? Sure, men too, but it seems to me that women lead in the category of compassion and understanding.
How did such a degrading social system begin that put women down as less than and dishonored because they nurtured and loved those around them. What kind of thinking dug the grave for women in the first place? I don’t know and I suppose I would need to take more classes in anthropology to find out. I do believe that the high status most of us have regarding power, glory, and money is a false image that was instilled in us at some point in history by…guess who?
Now imagine a new world where there is no Satan to corrupt us. A world where people are free to choose their own way. A world where groups of people live together and agree to share what is available. Why not, there is plenty, or should be. God gives every world plenty to start with.
Ah, eventually tragedies and mishaps seep back into this perfect round world. It can't be helped? I am not sure. I am also not sure if it is natural to stab your neighbor because you want their food? Isn’t it more natural to do as many mothers do who sacrifice their own needs for the needs of their child. Isn’t this what Jesus did for us? It is the example he gave us to follow?
He knew what we should be and how far away from the ideal we have fallen. The falsehood that drives us towards power over other people isn’t all created by human ignorance, much of it is caused by taunts and dreams given into us by the enemy, an enemy who would turn and corner us until we become like it instead of what God intended.
Our creator God created us to be like God, yet, this opposite being, dares pull us away from our true nature. That is our enemy, the one who dips us in dirty oil and then rolls us in it. Ok, time to quit this writing and begin a poem of beauty, light and hope. I write dark to shine the light more brilliantly.
8/27/05
Yesterday, I stood in front of a tall black man as we waited in line to get a prescription filled at CVS on McDougal. I took notice and perked up as the lady behind the counter said, “That is going to cost $169.00. The man stood there with a card and prescription in his roughened old hands and said, “What?”
We were all quiet for a moment, thoughts on every one’s mind about the high cost of medicine today.
Then the man said, “I am 76 years old and I have never had to go to a doctor’s office in my life.”
The pharmacy cashier asked, “Didn’t you go to the doctor to get this prescription?”
The san shook his head. I got the impression that the doctor had come to his house or he’d sort of run into him.
“Doctor said I had high blood pressure. Been living all this time without doctors and now…”
I could see that the man wasn’t going to pay out that kind of money for the medicine. He put his hand down along with the prescription and card, so I couldn’t help but break into his space.
I said, “You probably don’t need the meds. You will be fine.”
“What’s a little high blood pressure,” he said. “When its time to go, you go.”
The cashier and I both smiled at him and agreed.
“Been living all this time without such stuff, don’t need it now.”
The man walked away without his meds but seemed less confused.
I could see by his continence that he’d been a hard worker all his life, made his own way, and now he was old but steady. I believe the doctor was just doing his job, at least I hope that was so and he wasn’t some kind of shark, but he should have taken in this mans circumstances and explained the choices. I think many people run to doctors and it begs for trouble. This man was right. He had lived a long life and was ready to go when the time came. Why not? Why prolong it further? He was obviously healthy. I think if he never goes to another doctor in his life he might live many more years. I wish him well. He reinforced a truth I have known for a while.
I complain
about doctors and then I think about the Doctors without Boarders, those
sacrificing man and women who are tending to the starving people in
I realized something else too; I have found the enemy of mankind once more. Why would I ascribe such shame to the enemy, isn’t it me who is feeling the shame. Yes, but in this shame I see the hand of the enemy in the extreme division between myself and this little starving girl, in the divisions that the enemy sets up: shameful excess vs. starvation, hope vs. hopelessness, black vs. white, straight vs. gay, rich vs. poor, big auto vs., no auto. This system is what the enemy encourages. Does it laugh at our shame? Can we help it? We who sit in so much plenty, so much excess, so much food and cattle and fruit and cheap dollar store items and such choices that even the poorest among us owns much.
We didn’t cause the drought and
locusts to descend on
Do I exaggerate about its powers? I don’t think so. I used to think the world was controlled by us too, until I tried to push out of the box in which I was supposed to stay. Just try exercising or doing something to improve yourself greatly, you will find how hard the going can get.
Just as prophets have told us for ages, the only way to move firmly against the enemy is to call upon God and then float above the concerns of ordinary life. Most of us can’t, but we can try to step out from its manipulations. It wants us fat, greedy, dependent, separate, lazy, dumb and dependent on it for survival. Survival under its domain means death and Jesus told us to choose life.
This is
what we attempt to spread when we spread the light as we did this morning, all
around the world. We waked around in this lighted up world pouring even more
light onto various places. I went to
8/28/05
Yesterday in church, Jesus asked something of me that I wasn’t sure I could give. The church was half empty on this Saturday afternoon. It usually is a smaller mass on Saturday, so I watched the angels fill up the pews. Just before Jesus asked it of me, I saw God, larger than life, high and to my left. Jesus stood close by me on my right.
Jesus said, “I have a request for you.”
I knew right then it was important. I mean, even God was taking note. Though, I admit I only saw God once or twice during the whole of the mass, while Jesus stayed by my side.
I gathered up my nerve and said, “What is it you need me to do? You know I would do anything you ask.”
Well ordinarily, I would, but his next words took my breath away.
Jesus said, “Forgive her.”
I asked, “Who do you want me to forgive?”
“You know.”
Yes, I knew. My mind began playing with images of all the things that have been done to me and what else I am ashamed to say. My heart felt frozen at that moment. Would it ever beat again, softly? I didn’t know what to do or say right then. I looked deep into my soul. I looked at a million of bits of hurting pain, swimming in a broth of grimy dirt. An uninviting, appalling sight. I looked at the dark swirl within me. Dare I let it go? I had grown accustomed to its presence. Blame fell easy into that dark hole I didn’t know I had. Who could I blame if I let it go? What to do? I have been buried alive, burnt at the stake of scarcity, tortured into oblivion. I wanted to scream; instead, I squeezed my eyes shut.
With my eyes closed tight, I could see Jesus more vividly as he stood patiently by my side, waiting for my answer. Surly he knew it wasn’t an easy answer for me. I couldn’t just blow the smoke away with a word, could I? Lying was out, too, of course.
I thought of the light he had given me. I hadn’t known the dark place had grown so large. Yes, I wanted it out, gone. I took another deep look into my soul and let the light pour inside. I smiled with bliss. It felt good to be free. I felt good.
“I forgive,” I said.
Jesus said, “I am proud of you.”
Actually, I felt proud of myself. However, I did wonder about what I would write from now on. How to leave go of the hurts and pains that plague many of us, how to leave go of the blame?
“You will be fine.” Jesus said.
8/29/05
Call this a myth if you want, but I think it might be true.
I look at how mars used to be, Jesus has shown me what it looked like a long time ago. When I suggested millions of years ago, he said that it was not as long ago as that. Mar’s sky was once more blue than yellow, its ground was once covered in trees and grass and beautifully carved stone monuments. The people who lived on Mars built great stone structures and statues, perhaps because the rock was abundant and streaked with vivid ocher and red. The people were small and the color of the rock themselves. Overall, they were an artistic and gentle people.
Then something happened. Mars was invaded by powerful beings seemingly made out of invisible darkness. The darkness seeped into the people; it began to turn the people against themselves. The dark invaders created greed, jealously, and imbalance in the people by eating their souls. The people began to destroy themselves and their world. A few of the people with great souls escaped destruction and were transported to earth by higher beings. They woke up to climb out of the holes in the side of cliffs, their past forgotten.
We all know that Mars is dead; we have seen photos of its empty skin. I think those dark invaders have come to earth, perhaps a long time ago, perhaps in waves, perhaps more now than ever before, but they are here. It has been such a slow takeover that we have hardly noticed their greed as they feed on our souls. However, if we take a good look, we can feel the effect of their hunger within us.
Most of us short lived humans look around and realize that much is wrong, but also, we assume the wrong is normal. That greed and other hungers are part of our make-up. We are what we are. Not true. Since the tempter in the Garden of Eden, it has not been true. We were made by God for better things.
I wonder. Did this enemy ride in on Venus? I speculate that it did. Perhaps Venus was itself the latest conquest by these things that eat souls. Do they fill parts of the universe? Are they what make our sky dark at night? It is all unknowns and the truth is lost in long ago myths, gods, and legend.
The effect is still with us, the enemy’s influence digs into us all the time. Lately, the battle has gotten more intense. The only thing that will save us on an individual level is to find the light and hold it close. It is like walking constantly surrounded by God in the only aura that will hold back the tide of darkness. This dark enemy knows its time is almost done. We have the potential to finish it off in this generation. With the light of God between us, we will see to its demise.
If you don’t believe you have God’s light inside of you, think on this. Have you ever wondered why a garage set apart seems to deteriorate faster, or why an unused auto set in a yard falls apart so quickly, or why empty homes decay so much faster than homes filled with life? It is our life essence, the beginning spark from God helping us keep the things around us whole. All of us exude a certain amount of life, or call it an aura, if you prefer. It bleeds on everyone you contact and everyplace you enter. It is always infusing the aura of your own life into everything around you.
The light that comes natural with birth, that same light that grows in size as we grow a conscience and concern for other people can be expanded to a larger proportion than you ever thought possible. Just by knowing the light fills your soul, you can learn to turn it on like a flashlight and send it outward. Eventually you can learn to spread the light through your whole countryside, through your whole world. Then we will all be filled with God.