12/5/05
I was
surprised to read about Ford Foundation and Kellogg grants that are geared for
this area. Millions from them are slated to help with jobs and small
businesses. Great news. I often read about grants for
12/6/05
I am learning the real truth of our existence, the same truth that Jesus knew. A truth that he knew so well he dared not reveal it, so he spoke in parables. It is a truth about our world that few would believe, and even fewer want to know. It is the most horrifying situation imaginable, and it is occurring right now.
This darkness is revealed through me because I have become a living example of the damage the enemy can do, when it is being tolerant. When you think of enemy, think Lawn Mower Man or Matrix or Matrix Reloaded and you won’t be too far off the mark. If you want to think of Jesus and all the prophets as the fighters who walk within the different worlds of reality, you won’t be far wrong either.
There is only one way to stop this thing from overtaking the world stage more and that is to use the light from God to gather in multitudes of people, to make the light so strong that Satan and its Assembly can’t prevail against us. Massive numbers of people is the only way to get around this enemy.
God wants to be invited to earth, God is coming to earth, but it will take a long while yet. We can prepare the earth to accept God quicker by changing ourselves into a single, caring community without national boundaries. This is why Jesus speaks to me, and this is why I write. If we don’t do this or we may face the predictions in Revelation.
12/6/05
I once wrote that if the government was reading my notes, then they had a right to because I might know something about the terrorists. I saw a number of visions that may have concerned terrorists and I didn’t mind if they looked into what I knew. I wrote about what I saw on the web after 9/11. But, I now disagree that my notes should be open to anyone and take any acceptance I may have given away. The reason is that I now know my visions no longer involve terrorists, and my openness has invited the wrong people to enter.
So, I rescind my acceptance, I choose that neither the United States of America, nor England has the right to read my notes before I put them on my internet web site even to catch terrorists. I know no terrorists. If anyone wants to read my notes, bring a court order. I still live in a free country. I have never in my life done anything wrong. If the government wants information from me, you need only ask.
I would
tell the truth about myself, but who would believe it? It could be the story of
the century because here I am buried beneath the city of
12/9/05
I haven’t been traveling through the tunnel lately, though, sometimes I stand in the tunnel and run my hand over its bumpy/smooth surface. This lack began to worry me so I asked Jesus if I was still ok.
He smiled at me as if I shouldn’t need to ask such a question.
“Well, it’s because I used to travel and explore all the time and now I don’t feel the need to do so as often, so I get an uneasy feeling as if I might be falling behind.”
“You have shown other people the way to the tunnel. Don’t worry. You can go or not as you please.”
“You don’t like to state the obvious, but sometimes I need the assurance.”
“Yes, I know.”
“And we meet often, don’t we?”
Here I am, still trying to assure myself that I am ok. I smile at this conversation now as I write it. It is human nature to be so afraid of failure we can’t see the positive. Actually Jesus has often explained that our interest in spiritual or anything else, for that matter, is like waves that change from high to low tide. Right now I am in such a height of being alive and sending out the light that I can hardly remember the light growing dim. Yet, a few weeks ago I felt like dull and less enthused than normal and struggled to visualize the light. Today, this morning, and yesterday, this soul light streams away from me even as I walk or work.
I should never worry about my own soul. I meet with Jesus every day for long, fascinating talks. Usually Y is there as well and we meet on the slope of a snow covered mountain. I often sit on a huge bare rock or stand with my feet in the snow and watch the clouds roll by over head or look around for wild flowers that stick green stems out of the snow as if it were normal. Is it? I don’t know.
I don’t feel the cold, of course, because I am not really there in a physical state of being. Jesus usually stands as does Y while we talk about the general trend of events on earth and how they relate to heaven. Some days its hard to find any reflection of heaven on earth, but that often depends on my own mood. Every day, Jesus enlightens me with his words. His mature vision of us and our earthly actions gives him a unique and widely divergent view.
I feel like an apprentice and am awed by such knowledge, but I notice that my friend Y, no matter what Jesus tells us, seems to feel comfortable and knowing. I am new at this mysticism. Even thought Jesus explains much, I still feel that he holds back a lot of information because we wouldn’t understand it or we are not ready for it, but always, Jesus moves us forward to further truths about the system we live in and how it relates to how it should or will be by the time God walks on earth.
Jesus said a few things to me this week that makes me proud.
Just two days ago, he said, “The light is strong in you.”
And it was.
I could see it flow out from me in every direction. I twirled and sent it
further out in spirals of light to reach the edge of
He said something yesterday that really threw me, and delighted me, though he used an exaggeration. I have been reading a book of suspense about a lady who has severe traumas because of her childhood and this always makes me look at myself and my own childhood. Haven’t we all had our traumas? So I began to sink into my past and wondered how well I faired in overcoming my own handicaps.
Jesus suddenly said to me, “You are the most sane person on earth.”
I smiled. Hyperbole. It worked. Right away I felt perked up. I still feel good. When Jesus said this to me I thought of Y, who smiled at me. He was the most sane person first. We both understood Jesus’ attempt to complement me even if I didn’t deserve it. I thought about all the monks around the earth and holy women who pray every day and are in constant touch with heave. By his exaggeration, Jesus was also telling me he had faith in the path I am following.
I won’t ever forget how I got to this stage in life. The cause of soul’s release from distress belongs to Jesus. Jesus who came to sort out my traumas and difficulties and emotions and wrong life. It took him long years of patting me on the back in between warnings and many words of wisdom, but his effort is showing fruit. He is remaking me into a better person than I deserve to be.
Other people who saw the light before I did, historical prophets and current wise ones also tended to my well being. Believe me, there were many times in my life I was sliding down towards the dark side. I have no doubt that Jesus angels pulled me up with a quick word of warning more often than I know.
Well, today
is my birthday. Just another day so I search for something to give it meaning
rather than look at my age, which is best avoided. So what gift did heaven give me for today? I woke up
to a winter wonderland, the first large fallen snow of the season. I’ll enjoy
going out and shoveling the sidewalk later. I will take my camera out and take
photos of such beautiful scenery that it takes your breath away—even here in
the center of a dirty industrial city such as
This is opening day for the movie “The Narina Chronicle.” I take this as an sign for change in the world because the story is based on Christian morals, exactly the opposite of the Harry Potter movie. A nice birthday gift from the angels.
Also Jesus told me this morning that he will give me a gift later. I am pleased. Truly, when you get my age, it is best to forget about our society’s once a year reminder that another year has come and gone, but I feel good that Jesus cares so much for me that he takes note of silly days like this.
Well, I need to get back to work on my story. I have just written two short stories that I need to polish and am writing another. Also I am writing a novel, The Only Way, that I hope to get done eventually. It is going slow because of work and other odd interruptions. I would love to have a whole month to do nothing but concentrate on my novel, but if wishes were…? Can’t remember the quote. I intend to get the rough draft done by spring.
12/11/05
Bits of knowledge are my forte, which is why Jesus gives me knowledge as a gift. I know now why the Whirling Dervishes, are there any left in today’s world, used to twirl around in a circle dancing while they prayed. Sometimes I am so full of God’s light that I can’t contain it and I feel the need to stand up and move around. I often twirl around in a slow ark with my arms out, thankfully I am alone in the house where no one can see. I imagine the movement helps to push the light outward and I visualize it as flowing away in large spirals from my center.
Jesus told me that is why the Dervishes twirled. I read of a rumor that suggested Jesus had been their teacher; Jesus tells me now that he was. The Dervishes were Sufi’s, a mystical branch of Moslems. I didn’t look this up but remember it from my reading. Hope I got it right.
I have decided that I need to create a system that will help me pray a number of times during the day, some habit that will teach me to use a number of single moments each day to feel the light and send it outward. Praying each hour would be too unhandy, so I have settled on four times a day and night. May change if it doesn’t work out. I need to build up good habits, maybe like the monks did in the monasteries. Am I in a monastery? Sometimes it seems I might just as well be.
12/11/05
For some reason, for the first time in church today, I noticed the complexity and variation of the outward show of income at early 8:30 mass. I noticed ten women wearing mink coats, which meant there were probably at least fifteen minks in this small morning population. While, at the same mass, in the back of the church, we had three to four rows of men and women who came from the Salvation Army because they have no home in which to stay. The church gives them a free breakfast if they come to church to get the ticket.
The juxtaposition of such different income levels is amazing, and probably unique. I sat thinking of the high amount some members must give to those needy. If I remember correctly from last year, the red and green envelopes hanging on the tree needed replacing often. I usually put $10.00 to $20.00 in one or two envelopes during the season; a paltry amount compared to what some members must give.
As I sat there thinking of my own lack of money and how I wished I had more to give, I realized that I wasn’t poor at all. At that moment I felt rich and blessed to be sitting in a church that can welcome such a diversity of people. I am sure that hundreds of other church members feel just as blessed to be there.
12/12/05
Jesus has told me all this before, but I wondered, once more because I tend to forget, how the light works and what change it can bring about in people? The light from our center is soul light which comes directly from God. The light embodies perfect life; therefore, it constantly reworks our mind and body towards God’s ideal.
Perhaps the more we realize the light, the greater we have moved to that ideal. The ultimate purpose of the light is perfection. In us, it works slowly, because we are so far from the ideal. When we spread the light, it doesn't change a person’s outward appearance, certainly the light never controls, but the light moves the person further on the right path, unless it is rejected outright.
I am bringing this up because I have been told that the light can heal people. That makes sense if the light strives to make us perfect, perfection implies a healthy body and mind. I think people standing in the circle of light will be able to heal one day as a group. I believe there are a lot of amazing things we could do together as a group that seem impossible to us now. Many people have already learned this.
Some of us are learning that it is enough if we can send our minds into the circle of light and spread it over the earth, but there is still much to learn. I know I still need to practice control and steadfastness. Eventually, I want to be one of the people who seems always calm and centered. A lot of work to be done yet, for sure.
12/14/05
Struggle can be a good teaching tool in any life. Most of us accept the idea that going without the extras can build good character. Well, this idea, at least, gives a better outlook to the current times. Optimism can make us feel better even though people are struggling to make ends meet. But if going without extras can create good character, my greatest concern turns into a question: What does this imply about the character of the top half of the country?
12/16/05
Thank you Governor Jennifer Granholm for planning to veto added welfare restrictions. I read your concerns, that some people didn’t have the skills to pull themselves up and it will be mostly children who will suffer. But I have a question for the legislature. What put it into your heads to think you should cut the destitute off from help, for life? How did you come up with such a scheme? Why take from the desperate? If you need the money that badly, take a little from everyone. We know how to tighten our belts, do you?
What kind
of mind could look at a mother begging for shelter and food in the cold with
children tagging behind and not feel sympathy? Perhaps it is the image of the
Great Depression you crave for
I still haven’t found an answer as to why the Michigan legislature or the US Congress, for that matter, choose to cut the strings off the safety net or dredge money up from the people on the bottom. Most years, I was so poor I didn’t need to pay any taxes. Now I am still poor, but must pay in taxes because the exclusion level keeps going down.
So I have
this worry about
Thank again
Jennifer Ghanholm for moving
12/16/05
I feel restless tonight, but Y has told me that restlessness creates a good test of a person’s ability to control the mind. I tried, but my mind kept floating off the stage of my choice onto outlandish scenes. At one point, I was riding a boat on the ocean, at another looking at a group of strange people. I finally got a grip on myself when I entered the sky tunnel with Jesus and Y. Other people, ghostly beings, I suppose like myself, were walking down the tunnel and waved that we should join them. We did.
We walked down as a loose group, but as soon as I stepped out of the tunnel, I lost all baring for a moment because I was blowing away on a strong wind. The expirence was exhilarating; I floated up and down and twirled in the current. White feathered leaves floated beside me as if they had been caught too. Then I realized that I was white and feathery too. Not bird like, more like a flat pancake with tuffs of white feathers. Had I been converted into such a being? Or, was I air floating on air, next to them? I think most of us who had stepped out of the tunnel had changed form, perhaps for the pleasure of it.
Jesus said, into my ear that was no longer an ear, “You are on Jupiter.”
That explained part of it. The hugeness of Jupiter can’t be easily imagined by us small humans, certain not by me. Imagine all the people of earth could not fill up a small sample of Jupiter in one flat area, but life in Jupiter lives in multiple layers. The possible samples of life must be astounding.
I remember coming here before with Jesus, but those life forms were different from what I was seeing now. Long, white strings floated next to the group of us feathered leaves as we road the winds. I imagine this fish-school behavior was natural for what we had become for a moment.
Jesus assured me that we had not taken over any one else’s body, I am a stickler on that point. He said we’d chosen to assume the form because it was natural to do so even though we were just visitors. Perhaps the reason we changed ourselves was the strange conditions or the ability the spirit has to morph into any shape. It was a new experience for me, I think. It is possible I could have changed shape before unknowingly. Then again, I am constantly learning new avenues to move into and this may be one of them.
I didn’t stay but a minute, maybe the others stayed longer. I came back through the tunnel thinking how strange the life had been. I have seen many weird life forms. The strangest life I ever saw was that time Jesus took me into deep space and I saw living organisms alive where we would think nothing could survive. I remember the life forms collectively glowed in different colors and patters, neon bright and even checkerboard.
Still thinking about morphing into another life form, I asked Jesus for more information. Sometimes I can sit and drift off, then suddenly I am someplace else. I don’t know if it is just my own vision or if I am seeing events from someone else’s eyes.
Jesus said, “It is not invasive to see from someone else’s eyes.”
“Well, I am not sure I want to. Can’t I just see as if I were floating in air?”
“Yes,” Jesus told me, “You can see however you want.”
The problem is that it happens when I least expect it and I don’t seem able to control the seeing. It only lasts for a second, but there is no doubt that I am looking out at the world through another persons eyes as they look out at the world. Usually, as soon as I realized it has happened, I am gone back to myself again. I can honestly say that during these strange moments I don’t penetrate anyone’s mind or feelings. So what am I doing there? Because, what I witness in this manner always strikes me as normal and boring, never exciting.
I can’t help wondering if this is how Jesus knows us so well. If I were the God of fate, I certainly would want to see everything, but I would also want to feel what the person feels and understand their thought patterns.
Thankfully, I am very far from being godlike so it isn’t necessary or advisable to fit into another person’s body. It is hard enough to feel great empathy for a person. Imagine if you had to live it with them. Therefore, I refuse to worry any longer if I occasionally see out of someone else’s eyes. It may be a new way to join with each other, a new path for humans to walk down the long evolutionary road.
12/17/05
We’ve had the Industrial Age, and Informational Age; next, we will have the mind blossoming age, but I can’t think what we will call it. Calling it the Mind Expanding Age, doesn’t sound very poetic. The Mental Blossom Age? Well it doesn’t matter what we finally call it, what matters is that we are experiencing its first glimmers in our present. Our minds are beginning to expand outward like flowers. Beautiful idea.
This will be what will finally bring peace and prosperity to all people of earth during the next thousand years. The fiction book series, Left Behind, have it all wrong. It won’t be the good people who are lifted up, but their opposite.
Jesus parables have stated this fact many times. He repeatedly said that when the time came for harvest, it will not be the fruit pulled out of the garden, but the weeds. Therefore, it seems that all the people who are now leaning towards to the dark side and choose to stay there; will, when the time comes, be taken out of earth’s domain and put--wherever. I have seen a few hells that I never want to revisit even with Jesus by my side. I pray that when the thousand years are over, those dark souls get another chance to join God.
The problem is that all this grand peace and prosperity for the world presumes that the good side wins the war. If the other side wins, and this dark earth becomes ever darker and bleaker, then what? Then we will have what the angels warned me about absolute control and depraved slavery all around the globe. Think fascism times ten.
I suspect if that happens, only a few will remain alive or stay within the light until Jesus can come to rescue them. Will they be the only ones to live on the new earth? Which scene will play out? Who can say? The outcome is iffy because, as usual with heaven and God, the choice is ours, and also the ending.
Personally, I prefer the peace and prosperity, but this also presumes that those who hold the power and wealth will walk towards the light and potentially begin loosening their hold on the world. This also presumes that the temptations that face us every day have been lessoned. It isn’t only the rich people who sin, most other people sin trying to get rich.
If we could choose to grow towards the light and greater wisdom, then the drive towards riches will be seen to be childish. Somehow we must find a new way to run a world. I can visualize a world where everyone had their needs provided for, where the human psyche drives towards excellence, creativity, imagination, and spiritual values. On a such a world, the few who crave excess will be seen as deviant and in need of help.
It felt so
beautiful when we all gathered into the circle. The light expanded in me and filled
my whole body then shot out and joined other lights. As a group, we can do
wonders. We spread the light in
But, on my way to visit with my grandchildren, I spread the light for a minute as I drove down the freeway, but thought better of it.
Then Jesus
said, “They need the light more than people in
So there you have it. Jesus reasons for saying this are easy to figure out, and I’ll leave you to it.
I usually send the light to my family for a second during meditation. It always makes me feel good to share the light. It is as if the more the light expands outward from myself, the more it expands inward too. Like giving a gift and getting back more than you gave. I do this as many days as I can during the week, but I don’t always write about it. It would become boring to write and read. I just assume that any one who reads this understands that I continue to join the circle of light and travel with Jesus. Although, not as often as I used to travel in the universe. Perhaps my need for adventure has been satisfied. Besides, through these writings, I have shown other people the way. That is the purpose Jesus has given me and I believe I am fulfilling it.
12/19/05
I just put two more e-books, Refresh Code and Harp Song, on my Home Page II. These e-books are easy to read and download. I promise the stories are interesting. I just put a new poem called “The Crying Man” in the poetry section.
12/25/05
I had a beautiful morning. I went with Jesus to Ribbon World this morning at his suggestion. He watched as I entered the area where the air flows thick like water but is not, where lines of people walk slowly in meditation, and where the Ribbon Gods float.
I stepped into a line in back of a white robbed walker, my own robe white, to join the slow procession that curves in and around through this holy area. As soon as I began to walk in a simple cadence with my head down, the Ribbon Gods came to me. Not one yellow or green one, but all of them at once. Suddenly I saw a gathering of ribbons, a multi hued, rainbow twist that flowed towards me and entered my body. I tingled with joy in a sensation I will never forget.
One of the Ribbon Gods said, “We wish to taste you.”
I understood this was their phrase for mingling with my cells for a moment.
Jesus added, “They have a lot of information to gather because much is happening at this time.”
The Ribbon Gods collect information from all over the universe. They also give some of it back in some form that I can’t detect. If I wake up one morning with a bit of knowledge I didn’t have before, this is where it likely came from. Perhaps the information needs to sink into my consciousness. These ribbons of many colors that I call gods seem to delight in collecting information; while, I feel delighted in feeling their touch in this amazing place.
When I left with Jesus again, I kept thanking him. Somehow, I think Jesus was the reason my experience was extra special this morning. He always gives me a gift on special occasions, and what better occasion than Christmas. I love him deeply.
That wasn’t the only gift I received this morning. The next one could have fallen from heaven to my door step, or rather the front end of my car. On my way to church this morning I noticed a hump on the road, but I was in a hurry. On my way home from church, I drove past that hump and saw that it was a pile of tied Christmas tree boughs.
I backed up the car and pulled over. A huge beautiful evergreen wreath lay there in the street. I put it in the car and brought it home. Now my house smells like Christmas of old, the evergreen perfume pervades the whole house, even as I sit here at the computer. I am enchanted this the gift from heaven.
Sure, I know it fell off a truck, but the angels held it there for me to find and pick up. It might have been there since Easter Market closed the day before. Well, I have it now and I love it. It is larger than the little fake tree I put up, almost larger than me. I have never had an evergreen wreath before and I feel especially blessed to have this one.
Jesus said, “You have more to receive, more than you know.”
I thanked Jesus. I thank him again and again. But I stopped before I sounded like a broken record. Jesus knows my heart sings my thanks. By the way, thank you too for reading what I write.
I wish you a beautiful, pleasant Christmas and a prosperous, loving New Year through all of 2006.
12/27/05
Exasperated this morning, I went to Jesus for a good talk about what I can do about this enemy. I wanted to know what it is and what I can do about it. It turned out to be a most surprising talk. Jesus gave me a solution that involves everyone on earth.
At the same time Jesus told me how to conquer the enemy, he requested a favor.
He said, “Show the enemy how valuable you are.”
The talk began with my asking who this enemy actually is and what can I do about it.
“I want to get rid of it.” I said. “How can I get rid of it?”
Jesus answered, “Could you get rid of me?”
“No.”
“It is my opposite.”
This gave me much to think about. I thought about Jesus and who the angels are who follow him. They are the ones who protect and teach me. They come from the future/past to fight for humanity, or argue that we are valuable and worthy of life. The angels follow Jesus in everything. They always use good tactics that do not undermine human worth.
On the other hand, the opposite of Christ also has followers who come from the future/past to fight against humanity, (argue that we have no value and are unworthy of life).
“But why doesn’t he like us?” I asked Jesus.
“Because you easily succumb to his temptation.”
I understood what Jesus was saying right away. The enemy can take on any shape or look out different eyes and be so beautiful that it tempts the person to sex, theft, causes that go against people, etc. I believe this is what happened to a few priests who were good men, but succumbed to the honey eyes of a child who the enemy for that moment. They fell and from then each fall was easer. That is only the most vivid example of what has been going on to lure us into sin. Remember the enemy always uses deceit. It always forces moves against someone else.
The problem for us is that this enemy has about a hundred people on earth it has taken over completely and who it uses to further its aim. What is its aim? Now we know. It basically wants to prove to God that humans are nothing but cattle, that we will do anything to serve ourselves, that we will sell out our soul for a job, to protect someone we love, to make more profit, to look good to other people, etc.
But knowing the system that is used and how it works will protect us from temptation and harm.
Calling on Jesus during those points of temptation will protect you. Just say, “Jesus help me.”
This brings me to my own little peccadillo. I don’t know who I am and haven’t for more than thirty years. It has caused me all manner of heart ache, anger, problems, dreams, set backs, rationales, etc. I must get rid of this hump on my back that has grown so huge over the years. So this minute, I renounce who ever I am. I stand on my character as a definition. I state that I don’t care about genes and maternal blood lines if it might cause me heartache. I don’t care about selling my writing if it might bruise my soul. I don’t care about my art if the price is loss of faith. I don’t care if I ever have money that would own me.
I stand with Jesus. All else can fall by the wayside, but I stand firm.
I stand against the evil one. I prove this minute that I myself have value, that I am worthy of spreading the light outwards to all of humanity for God. And I will continue to do so forever.
As a final writing for today, I want to say that from now on I intend to write in a more positive vein. True, I believe that to ignore the enemy is to give it a push in the wrong direction, but dwelling on evil can tempt happiness. Although, I will continue to put my thoughts about the evil in writing, I will put it in a different link. Only those people who want to know what I have learned about evil need take a look. Besides, I have just written the most important description any one could about the enemy of mankind. The link I will use is Dark Matter.
12/31/05
This
morning we joined into a circle on Mars for a second then moved to earth. We
made a circle of light in various places in
We also lit up the world the day before for a long half hour. I dropped out after a while but other people who are better at control kept pushing the light out for a long period of time. We are going to do this often.
Eventually, the light will become so intensely bright that the truly bad people will stick out like black dots on a rainbow. The darker they show up, the more foreign they will be inside the light, and the more they will get found out to be false. They will get caught and put away by the laws of whatever land they live in. The light causes everything it touches to move towards the good. One way to think of this is that the light gives the bad person the opportunity to feel remorse through punishment?
I have learned that the light can even reverse a effect by eliminating its cause. The light has the ability to flow backwards too. I imagine it might work like this: Imagine a young boy is mistreated and grows up with a lot of hate in his heart which causes him to become a crime boss. But as we spread the light, it flows even into the boy’s past and has the potential to temper the boy’s hate with touches of love, possibly reversing the boy’s drive towards crime.
I am not sure if I explained it right or of the exact mechanism, but Jesus agrees with the idea that the light has that potential to effect the source of our problems. This should give us great hope. As we attempt to spread God’s light around the world, it not only works on the horrible imbalance that surrounds us but also sends a light ray to what caused of the imbalance. Whew, a mouthful, but I am working to the point that needs to be made.
God is perfect. It is our job to grow towards his perfection. When we use the light that comes from our center we spreading God’s wish for perfection into the surrounding land and people. Perfect perfection equals paradise for everyone and everything. To the extent that we haven’t reached that paradise, then we haven’t filled the world with enough light.
If our efforts barely show up on the screen, it is because we began in a room so murky the flashlight beam couldn’t penetrate it’s gloom. But that is changing slowly. Imagine a single lightening bug in a dark room and how impossible its job is to brighten it to daylight. My mind thinks of Jesus here, so alone two thousand years ago, so much effort to communicate the light. Now, we are growing in our ability to turn the light into a blazing sunrise all around the earth, mind to mind. Well, it writes easy, anyway. Bye, see you next year.