January 05

1/1/05

Ah, a new year and I have much to be thankful for, but mostly, besides my family, I am thankful for my ability to still feel empathy for people because unconcern for others is the first sign of infection from the enemy. Without the quality of love for the few people I know and the greater family of humanity, my life would have little meaning. Thank you Jesus for pointing this out to me.

I was watching a program my friend copied for me about the Bible Code when an angel told me that my name is in it. I smiled because I assume it is a complement and nice distinction for someone like me who has no social status. I don’t know the context and never will because I can’t read Hebrew or understand how to work the code. Still, I think it is interesting and wonder if we are all in it. Maybe so because I think the bible has a part of the Tablets of Destiny that the olden gods fought over during Sumerian times.

Also, I don't feel as frightened by the Bible Code's prediction of the future as, perhaps I should be. Some of it is very close to our time, but as I wrote before, I believe the future is being changed by the angels all the time for our benefit.

How do they change it? Perhaps it happens like in the short story I put on the web: Countdown to Life. All of us are in the process of changing the world when we can spread the light or pray. So what ever date is predicted for the End of Days, it will be proved wrong because it has been changed. But an end of civilization could still happen; it did happen once in our future. I have already painted this story told to me by the angels so won't repeat it. Actually, I prefer to accept the End of Days as predicting a change for the better, of ushering in the thousand years of peace when we win the earth from evil.

I need to write a small comment on the bible reading from church on New Year’s Day. Paul to the Galatians 4:4-7.

Gal 4:4 But when the fullness of the time came, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the Law, Gal 4:5 so that He might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive the adoption as sons. Gal 4:6 Because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, "Abba! Father!" Gal 4:7 Therefore you are no longer a slave, but a son; and if a son, then an heir through God.

What hit me during the reading was the phrase, “You are no longer a slave,” At first glance, it is easy to assume that Paul is speaking to actual slaves, but upon reflection, I concluded that he is speaking to all of us. We are all slaves of the darkness that surrounds the earth and the one who has enslaved us is the enemy of Jesus and mankind. What these words mean is that by dying, Jesus gave us a new title. We are now sons and daughters of God, therefore we have rights beyond what any slave could have. We have the right to visit the sky. Does this apply to only those who accept his words? I don't know, he had much wisdom to teach us and if we don’t accept it, then we might remain slaves of the evil one by choice. There are times when I feel like crying for everyone who hasn’t found this truth yet, because they will eventually, we all will, I just hope it isn’t found too late.

1/3/05

I keep wondering how we know if we are on the right side. We all think we are, don’t we? Don’t most people believe they are right? If so, then what makes them wrong, and me right? I believe I am working for the angels and heaven. How do I know? Don’t they also believe the same thing? Surly the terrorists know that they are killing innocent people, but believe they follow their rightful leader.

The world is dividing up into two camps. Both camps believe they are right, but both cannot be. This is different from the past when you could judge your allegiance by patriotism. The sides for this battle follow no single nation, no single unjust cause. Its criteria is the way of heaven or against it. So what is the way of heaven?

People of heaven are gentile, tolerant, non-violent, and loving. If we strive for these same things, then we must be on the right side. Some philosophies argue that if you kill enough people then you can change the system, then wealth will even out, justice will be done, and everything you believe in will happen. Such tactics won’t change anything, and the people (angels) who come to help us from heaven already know this. Or why don't they use their superior abilities to kill the ones who force us to evil?

Like Jesus taught us, they know that the only real fix for the human race is to encourage a change in our hearts and minds. They would help us towards belief in the same qualities that hold the worlds of heaven together. I imagine that this doesn’t include the slaughter of innocent people, for any cause. They hold life as valuable. So must we. So I guess I have answered my own question. I know which side I choose.

I believe people are inherently good. I also think that given the right environment and upbringing, we would usually choose to be kind and helpful to each other. Most people are now. These traits that may be considered natural on every other world has been taken from us by the dark. I think we have been raped, crushed, and destroyed and haven’t even known it. We think it is normal to be abnormal? But there is much hope.

I just recently realized what the bible means by fallen angel. It means that certain angels, 200 in all, fell to earth or landed on it. They are still here. They have been with humanity throughout our history and have deprived us of our birthright, peace. They are the ones who turn us towards their own goals. For an accurate picture of how they do this all we need to do is remember WWII and Hitler's regime. They make plans for the long haul on how to direct us to do their will, to shove and push people in the direction they want the culture to go. The opposite of selflessness. Is this what Jesus meant?

Jesus had to come to earth to show us what a real human would act like. His is the example we need to look up to; his is the teaching that shows us the way out of our dilemma of hate and war and anger.

I keep writing about this because the more we understand ourselves and what causes our distress, the better able we will be stand tall for ourselves, so tall we will be able to disarm our enemies and then walk the path to the stars. It has been predicted. We will win.

1/5/04

This morning before I came to work I had time to sit for a few minutes and reflect on a few problems. I felt conflicted by the difference of Jesus words on how to achieve peace and love, compared to the need to have the things we consider necessary in our modern world. My mind kept wrapping around the subject and I couldn’t seem to let it go. I told him that I understand that money and material wealth doesn't have as much value as most people in America think; yet, it can't be put off as worthless. Money means the power to move things and even people, the ability to survive and make improvements. For me personally, it means the ability to rise up out of the detritus that the enemy keeps shoving me into. Should I just give up and allow this enemy to ride over me? Shouldn't I fight for my right to stand tall beneath the sun and sky? Shouldn't I reap reward for my labor, instead being constantly put down?

Well, all these things greatly troubled me this morning, but they had been building up for a long while, and Jesus' answer to my dilemma solves my problem and is worth writing about.

When I asked, "What should I do?"

Jesus answered me saying, "You should always seek balance."

Suddenly, his words calmed my angry, questing heart. I felt at peace once more. How simple his answer, how full of sense. Of course, that is the answer. I don't need to roll in riches to have power, and I don't need to wallow in the mud of poverty to earn heaven. Keep a balance. Don't hoard and don't cheat and don't skimp and don't run amok with silliness. Just keep and seek a balance. I feel like a dumb child at hearing what I should have known all along. Balance is all any of us needs, even in this modern, conflicted world.

Now I can feel as sorry for those who hoard wealth, as well as, those who have none. A good and well-lived life is what we each should aim for, along with achievable goals. I am trying to rethink my personal role in life and what priority I should put at the top. I like to write so I certainly intend to keep doing it, but to what purpose? How hard should I push? Well, I have the answer now; all I need to do is stay in balance. So simple yet so effective. I feel as if a breeze has blown through my soul and cleaned if of dust. So once again I say, Thank you Jesus.

1/7/05

I am proud of Americans and the rest of the world for donating so much to help the Tsunami victims. I shudder when I see photos in the newspaper or on Television because with just a little imagination I realize that it could be me or my family needing to survive because of a sudden, disastrous flip of fate. My heart goes out to each of them and I try to include them in the circle of light from the Source every day. I keep remembering what Jesus said, “The light can save you.”

I have been busy working and haven’t meditated as much as I would like. Guess I need to get up earlier. But I believe that the light from the Source can not only save us, but prevent some horrible events in the future. I don’t know specifically why I think that, but I do. Perhaps because as the light works into our souls and our hearts, it will then reflect in our actions and sink into and fill the earth with love. The light can only send good vibes around the earth. Would that help? I don’t know, but I know it can’t hurt.

1/7/05

Everyone is asking, “How could God have let this happen?” It is a good question because God is only good. I have felt the light pouring from God and there isn’t room for any darkness. All is good from God. But this brings us back to the question of “How could God have let such a thing happen?” With a little reflection, we may see that, to God, this may not have been such a horrible tragedy. It may be that from God’s point of view, thousands of people changed their shape and left out of one existence and entered into another. In other words, thousands came home.

The real calamity sits with the living who must suffer through terrible trauma and loss. These are the people we are called upon to feed, cloth and shelter. The dead are beyond our helping hand, but not the living. As I said before, I am proud of my country’s response and of the ordinary, everyday people who responded with money or prayer.

1/8/05

This morning meditation was so beautiful and promising I don’t know if I can do it justice with my simple words. A beautiful lady stepped out of a door way to space and said to me, “There will be healing of many people around the earth.”

I have seen this women before and call her Mary, but this day I wondered, and so turned to Jesus and asked him, “Is it truly Mary? What is her real name?”

Jesus answered, “You can call her Mother, Mary, Women, The Nourisher, The Lover, The Giver of everything good on the earth. She is all of this and more.”

During this discourse, God was there as well, but barely detectable. I most easily perceived him by feeling his smile. I assumed that God and this beautiful Lady are together as one, somehow.

The Lady smiled at me so wonderfully and glowed with such blueness and light, it was as if she had brought the sky down into my living room. The room was full of her glow. I saw behind her that many people (angels?) worked busily at some chore, as if a vast area of space had opened up like a door. These people would stop what they were doing and nod or smile at me as they walked past. So what was I seeing? I am not sure. But I thought I saw her small slippered foot step out of this door into another realm?

I began meditation today praying for a young girl who is going in for an operation on her spine this morning. The operation will use cells from her own nose to re-grow nerves in her spine. Mary told me that this procedure will work and will keep on working for many people. She added that the technique will spread to the United States to help people with spinal injuries.

This was good to hear. I have always had a soft spot for people who couldn’t recover from sudden spinal injuries. I imagine people with lively, happy lives suddenly made helpless and it seems so tragic to me. So I am delighted that a doctor has come up with a means to a cure and that the cure will spread.

Mary spoke of cures in other types of illness too. She gave me a reason for her visit this morning. When we expand our own souls with light from the Source, it is like pulling back a million gauzy curtains and opening a door to heaven. By opening this door, it allows her goodness to pour through to us.

It was the goodness and empathy that the whole world showed towards the victims of the tsunami tragedy that opened up the door wider, so Mary led me to understand. So it seems, that the more we expand the light, the more the light expands in our souls, and the more heaven can pour down upon us. A spiral of holiness, wonderful.

Where is heaven, where does the light pour out from? I don’t know, but I think it is an opening into another reality or dimension, one without the darkness we seem to be swimming in. This place we call heaven is in our sky somewhere, but beyond our sight and reach.

Mary’s visit to me was so emotional, by the time it was finished, I had tears trickling down my face. Jesus smiled at my emotion of such grand love. My friend Y stood next to me as well during the visit. When Jesus was telling me all her names and attributes, She turned and spoke to Y and suggested to him that his religion also has female deities. Then she smiled at him beautifully.

He must have been greatly pleased. We are friends but don’t share everything because he is more deeper into spiritual understanding than I will ever be. But we share many experiences as we learn to walk in the realms of space, time and heaven. His support has been a great help to me during times of doubt. It is not easy being a witness to what is invisible to most people on earth.

At one point Mary told me to open my eyes and that I would still see her. I did, but it was hard to see her, at first. With effort, I could finally detect a blueness around me and a light as if from the Source but emanating from her image. She has such great light it is blinding. I know she must be a Goddess because even Jesus pays her respect and homage like he gives to God.

She must believe in the goodness of humanity because she will ask her angels to heal many people, perhaps illnesses caused by the enemy. She sends us so much love that it is incomprehensible to me that one being could have so much to share. I feel as great a love from her as I do God. She must be like a queen in heaven and all heaven must show her honor. I bow down to her in awe and love. I pray I can return her faith in me through this writing.

1/11/05

Today I felt tired while driving home from work, but I thought I might take a minute to send out soul light and then decided I couldn't. I thought that I was so tired I wouldn't have any light to send.

Suddenly, Jesus spoke to me. He said, "The light from your soul isn't related to how you feel. You always have enough light."

This information stunned me. We are so used to measurements that reduce with effort or distance that to learn of a measurement that doesn't diminish can be surprising. So why is the light so different? True, it is based on something we can't see or measure anyway. How can you measure a soul? Or the light that pours from it? The only time I can see the light is when my eyes are closed, except for the few times Jesus or the Lady asked me to look at them with my eyes open. Another quality of light from the Source is that the more you send, the more you get back. There is nothing measurable in our world with that quality unless it is the emotion of love.

Jesus and the beautiful Lady glow in such bright light it almost blinds me with its radiance. We all have some of this light and I speculate it grows or shrinks throughout out life. Most people who pray sincerely surly have light to share with the rest of the world. So I say spread your light until everyone in it has an expanded soul filled with light and then the world will be lighted up like heaven. How else will the lion lay down with the lamb.

I have often wondered about how to tell the majority from the few enemy who live among us, and it isn't easy. One clear way is motive and sharing. For instance, when I learn something, I try to share it with other people who might want to learn too. In that way, I don't make myself king of the hill or the biggest player or the most important person. My mind doesn't work that way especially when it comes to Jesus teachings.

I suspect just the opposite is true for those who oppose us. In fact, I have learned over the years that they use our creativity and productiveness for their own gain. They have no compulsion to share for the betterment of everyone.

Remember that joke about hell where all the people around the table were starving amid plenty of food. They were starving because the spoons were too long to reach their mouths. But a few people stayed fat and plump because they had learned to reach across the table with the long spoons to feed each other. That is what the light does, it feeds all of us and we absorb it as we can.

1/14/05

I am excited by what I saw this morning during meditation. Such a large number of people were stepping out and about around the world and shinning the light from their center, I was amazed. In that moment, the earth looked like a field of butterflies made out of light, with rainbow beams shinning ever-which-way out of the fog. Truly it was a magnificent sight for me as I joined them.

I noticed one or two people I know personally. This can be true even if they had meditated last night or earlier in the morning because time is not as relevant when we are walking in the light. I saw a few people I know from our frequent mental nods of greeting and my closest helpers, Jesus and the friend I call Y.

We stood and watched lights going on and off all around the earth as if a mad hatter had turned on a million flashlights and aimed them in every direction. Astounded is the only word I can think of to explain how I felt at the evidence of participation before my eyes. I hadn’t known the Source was so busy.

I began the meditation this morning by gathering up light from the Source within myself and then joining the circle. After the light built up to great intensity in the circle I turned and watched it flow out over the earth. While it was covering the earth like waves in the sea, I began going around to various places on earth and shinning the light beam from my center.

I went to the schools around and beyond Detroit and then to other places around the earth. It was when I stood next to my friend as we became as imaginary giants sending huge beams across the rounded earth that I noticed all the other beams flickering on and off like rainbow beams gone wild. At the sight, I caught my breath in surprise.

There must have been many thousands of people spreading and aiming their light around the world. Where had they all come from, I wondered. Then I realized that I was probably seeing events over a time span of days. None of us can sustain such an intense, visual form of prayer for long periods, but from what I saw this morning, it isn’t necessary. The short moments we do aim our expanded soul’s light around the earth works good enough. And, like single electrons that spark on and off on a computer screen, when they all bundle together a picture emerges.

We are gradually bringing a new picture into being. One where the light from the Source expands in all our souls. I think of our souls as grounded until we expand them with light, then they fly. The light grows wings on our souls that helps us fly around to create a heaven on earth. And why not? Why not God in every mind and heart, why not an earth where all people prosper, an earth of joy and love. It seems to me there can be no greater goal from any of us for earth or any greater wish from heaven.

1/14/05

I should add what I did later during my meditation because some people may eventually try it too. As I was completing my meditation, I remembered the imaginative jelly I put into place in the direction of the future to stop the door from opening. So I decided to push myself even further by stepping through the closed door. I reasoned that even though my jelly could stop the enemy from using its power, the light from the Source is made up of a totally different kind of power and could get me through the door. Within an instant, there I stood in the future on the other side of the door. Through the light glow from my body, I saw all the slaves huddled in the dark and who toil for the enemy, then sent beams of light from the Source over them in all directions. I could feel their swell of thanks as a wave of emotion that returned to me just before I left. I was only there an instant, but intend to go back.

Did I really go into the future to spread light? I think so. I think I went into the very near future and now that I know that many people are taking flight like butterflies all around the earth, I want to reveal what I did this morning so they might try it one day too. I had never tried anything like that before, not without traveling with Jesus. And when I did, I think we went into the far future. Maybe he didn’t want to show me what is close to our front. Yet, I also think it took a certain feeling of bravo and daring; so, wait until you feel ready before you try it. If we try to hard at something we can’t do, it makes us feel like failures and hesitant to try again. I don’t want anyone to fail. We all need to join this mission. If that is where the enemy’s power originates from, then that is where we must go.

1/15/05

This morning I didn’t use the chants because I felt very strong and didn’t need the sounds to keep me focused. After a short while I stood in the world tunnel with Jesus and Y. I touched its sides and rubbed its texture. It felt bumpy but nice, as if its sap could only flow in goodness.

Jesus said, “Follow me, I have a surprise for both of you.”

We walked a short while until we got to the end of the tunnel. There we saw multiple concentric circles, something like as you might see on the surface of a water pond, but these circle waves were facing us. The ring of waves were small in the center and broadened out as if a pebble had been thrown into water; actually, many pebbles because everywhere I looked there were more moving circles as if someone had thrown a hand full of stones.

Jesus explained to us that each circle of rings would lead us to a different place in the universe and to choose a specific place, all we needed to do was imagine some item in the place we wanted to visit.

“Anyplace?”

“Yes, the tunnel you have been building is completed.”

This was amazing. I thought it would take many years to finish the tunnel. Well, maybe it has been a few years since we began the spiritual buildup, time has a way of running faster in certain areas of consciousness.

We decided to go to a beach, “A strange beach,” we said. Then we moved forward and walked into the center of one of the concentric rings formations in front of us.

Suddenly we were no longer in the tunnel, we walking on a beach full of cobalt sand. The water was dark indigo with tips of pink waves. Standing tall in the water were numerous huge dark pink blocks, like hotels. A large red sun was shinning behind them in the sky, but nothing seemed very bright. If it had been brighter, I would have said the scene looked like a painting from the Fauve school.

Just then, I realized that we had forgotten something. We forgot to ask how we, or anyone else, would return from such a far away place. I wasn’t worried because Jesus was with us, but what if I had been alone?

Jesus laughed and told me to look behind where I was standing. I did and saw a ring of circles around a single point. My worry was needless. We all walked back through and stood in the tunnel once more, but I had another question.

“Where are the gauzy curtains I used to see in the tunnel?”

Jesus explained to me that wasn’t able to see clearly then and that I would have been confused to see all the multiple possibilities open to us.

I agreed, and said that it is still confusing. All I could do to grasp the nature of what we saw and experienced was to compare the multiple rings of circles to the leaves on a tree, a tree with profuse blooms, where each leaf led to a different world in space. This analogy isn’t accurate because the circle rings are constantly on the move, but then so are leaves in a wind.

Later I wished I had checked to see if we left foot prints in the sand. An interesting test, but one I forgot to look for. Maybe next time because we weren’t done for the day. Next, the three of us went into the near future where the enemy holds its greatest power? It was like stepping into the deepest dungeon. The dark was almost overwhelming, but didn’t deter us. Together, standing as we were in that dark place, we glowed full of blazing light, yet, even with Jesus and Y’s greater light than mine, the dark seemed to want to absorb it and pull it away from us. It couldn’t.

We walked forward and sent our light amid and between the forms that lay in rows, bathing them in our lighted aura. I couldn’t help speculate, that to these sleeping people, we must look to them like the beautiful Lady who stepped down from heaven looked to me, a wondrous light. Had we pushed into their dreams? I hoped so.

Some opened their eyes as we walked past and some seemed to breath easer with our presence. The mental feed back of joy I felt from the sleeping forms felt doubled in my own emotions. I got the impression that the light was working, that we were definitely adding beauty to their nightmare? dreams. I reached down and hugged those who I could reach easily. We three walked together for a long while, and still, I couldn’t see any end to the darkness or the sleeping people.

It was a horrifying place. Finally I looked at Jesus and at Y and said, “This place must not be real. It could only exist in our imagination.”

But when Y turned to me, I saw the glitter of tears in his eyes. He said, “No, this place is real, as real as the tunnel we just left.”

He understood better than I what we were witnessing. I think this is because his religion has a history that includes different layers of reality, while ours only includes three. If so, then we were not in the bottom layer and I could only call it hell.

Jesus nodded at my growth in understanding as we continued to walk between the people who were dreaming. I kept trying to see its boundaries, but couldn’t see anything further than our large light could penetrate. I wasn’t sure I wanted to see more and was extremely glad to leave.

As soon as we left that place and stood back on earth, our beautiful sun-lit, green bright earth, I bathed joyously beneath its light. The difference was staggering and wasn’t the only one who felt like standing still for a long moment before we made a circle and continued to spread the light from the Source over the earth. This seemed to be an exceptionally easy thing to do after walking through the dungeon.

I couldn’t help wondering where the realty was we had went too. For some reason, I didn’t think it was very far from where I stood now. I will never forget Y’s tears. I knew they didn’t come easily because I had never seen them before, therefore, he must have been greatly moved and effected by what we witnessed. Perhaps, more than I because of his deeper understanding. Enough of this thinking and wondering, I told myself, just smile and beam you’re the light from your center around to people. We all need to climb out of the darkness.

1/15/05

One thing I realized later was that I always talk as if time has a future. But if space is an illusion, then time is too. Actually the scientists have just about proven that in quantum mechanics the essence of space/time is not real. So it seems to me that when I see the world in layers of reality, as I saw one day while standing with Jesus far off from earth, what I am really seeing is layers for our minds. Probably, the different layers of reality overlap to hold our bodies, and souls. This is a guess and how should I correlate this idea with what I saw this morning? I don’t know.

Then also, the mind of God must be many layers all over the total universe and earth is one of his sets of multiple layers. No wonder we get confused. The darkness too must be a layer of reality or illusion that has been put upon us by the enemy. That is good news because it means we have the ability to erase the darkness.

1/15/05

Our rescuers never get enough credit for what doesn’t happen. A case in point is the news article I read. A man was caught in a Florida apartment with a box of ricin in his possession along with automatic rifles. Ricin is a very powerful, deadly poison. Imagine the damage a small amount of recin would do after it was released. It could have caused many deaths in Miami or an airport or any other place with large numbers of people. We are so lucky we should be celebrating our escape from such a danger. Well, maybe God will accept a simple prayer of thanks. I wonder how many times each week we are saved from a similar disaster by police, firemen, ordinary heroes, or heavenly angels.

1/16/05

This morning I seemed to go into a new level of being while walking on earth and spreading the light from the Source. I wondered if I was living multiple lives for a second. This is not as crazy an idea as it sounds, not if we are all one. That is the reason we can communicate mind to mind, so is it too big a jump to imagine us all living all one life. Yes, guess, it is for me too.

Maybe it only seemed to be happening. At first I kept seeing ocean water as it hit up against a clear glass window. I could hear it slap against what ever it was that I was riding in. Somehow I know I was in the ocean and not a fresh water lake, not sure how.

Next I suddenly stood facing an aged Japanese man. He nodded to me and I to him. I understood that he was a great wise man who was suddenly being bombarded with new information like I was. We are both waking up. Maybe many of us are and our waking might be attributed to the light from the Source. I know I feel as if I am waking up from a life long sleep.

Next I was standing near a stone wall on the inside of a castle. There was a lamp high above my head and stairs leading down. My next steps led me down further and further towards a very old, thick, and solid wooden door. I knew I had to tug it open. Here Jesus spoke to me and said, “This is for you only.”

I won’t write of what I found there. I used the light from the Source to give the whole area a sense of soul. And then continued to use the light in other places. I believe Jesus is right, the more light we spread on earth, the less evil can exist among us. I think the light is gradually working in and through all of us.

1/17/05

My book, Heaven’s Own has been released for sale. I revised it after reading my own copy of what I had published before. I was far into its sequel before I read my copy and realized it needed correction in certain parts. It is corrected now and can be ordered from my Book Page or from any book store. Here is the Press Release statement:

Heaven’s Own is about a young man, caged since birth in a useless body, in gritty Detroit, who’s mind can unwittingly kill birds, dogs, and perhaps more. Two people vie over his power and soul: A neighbor who shares her love of knowledge, and a man who teaches hate and vengeance. At the climax, his adoring sister’s life will hang from in the balance.

I was amazed at something I noticed while writing the sequel to Heaven’s Own. I realized that I identified with my character Jody more than Zee and the other characters and needed to ask myself why. He is the young man in the book who has been crippled all his life but finds out he has amazing powers. Thankfully, neither I nor any person on earth has such powers, earth doesn’t need such a thing yet. So how could I identify with him so much more than the older, neighbor women, Zee, who befriends him. Certainly I took her off my own character, at least as it was about five years ago. I exaggerated her goodness, of course, for the sake of the story. I imagine I am in all my characters whether good or evil, but why specifically Jody?

With a little thought I understood. It is because he has been crippled and kept down, by evil as well as circumstances. It is the woefulness of a cage that I identify with, Jody’s-his body, mine-poverty. I admit I haven’t suffered half so much as my character, but there have been times… Maybe I wrote it for all of us who feel as if we were held back and the rug pulled out from under us every time we tried to rise. I am amazed at myself that I could have a optimistic attitude through it all, enough to keep going, anyway. Now, of course, I feel better.

But as I wrote the book, I felt the character’s woes deeply. I really dug into my own life for the characters and loved them so much it was easy to write the sequel. It will be the last book in a series of two, unless at some future date I decide to write one of a more grown-up Jody. Not sure if I ever will. I seem to have purged myself of the need to publicize my gulag cage. We can’t but help to write who we truly are, after all.

Link to Book Page to look at cover or buy Heaven’s Own: Book Page Some stores may not show current cover date in their advertisement)

1/18/05

Jesus tells me that the light is becoming stronger in me; yet, I still can't see except sometimes when my eyes are closed. This means that the light must becoming stronger in other people too. So if all of us behaved as if the Source's light were bright and strong in us, then we could light up the world. God’s light is the only substance of which the more it’s used, the more it gives back. Like a perpetual motion source, never ending, never exhausted, never still. So I say to enjoy the light, feel it pour from your center of being, and walk the earth lit up like a light bulb. Look what we have done with our physical ability to turn on lights around the world. Now, we can do the same thing in the realm of the psyche. (I usually mean the word ‘psyche’ to mean soul and mind.) We know one thing for certain, it can't hurt to try.

I have searched for the truth and found wisdom from great minds and ideas which helps me understand the truth that is now. But the problem is that my vision of the truth shifts with time. It does with all of us because the real truth is so much deeper than we can ever go. What I wrote five years ago as truth has now shifted in a different direction. What I write now I will learn five years from now wasn't enough of the truth. I am sure it will go that way. But it doesn't matter. The truth must be dug out and opened up to reveal the plight of humanity. We must dry out the crumbly past beneath the bright light of the sun. We truly need to clean up the damage and crud so we can move forward with a new sense of beginning and hope for everyone. This will take leaving the enemy of mankind behind or absorbing and reversing it. It will be easier to do so when I am done because I intend to write about the truth as much as possible. My life is my statement. My writing is my elaboration on that statement. What else can I do but carry the light around the world in print and truth. That is who I am and who I chose to be.

Today I specifically wanted to investigate the light that pours out of my center. I wanted to know what it does to people, if anything. How does it effect another person to be bathed in the light from God. But only if they accept it; I am positive that if someone were stubborn and didn't want to be touched by it, they would be a dark spot that the light would circle around. The reason I am positive is because I know that the light from the Source is gentile and soft. It can't be pushed or shoved into people. After all, God gives us choice all the time. But in the realm of a souls, what soul wouldn't want to bathe in the bright, open and forgiving light of God? It has within it all the things we call good. I can’t imagine any soul not wanting a share in it.

1/21/05

I was sitting before I went to bed, contemplating life and its purpose. I felt sort of down this evening for some reason, maybe because winter is growing long. Well I wondered if life really does have great value.

“Is life truly worth all this hassle? I asked Jesus.

He answered, “Yes, life is very valuable.”

But I thought that many of us don’t seem to be valuable in the scheme of things and we all run around and never seem to get anything done or fixed. So I still felt puzzled.

I asked, “What exactly is valuable about life?”

Jesus’ simple answer was quite interesting. He said, “Life gives each person the opportunity to step into the next level.”

This wasn’t exactly clear to me yet, but I remembered the few times in my life that I thought this life was hell and maybe it is for many people. Maybe it is for all of us at some time or another and we need to move up and away from it. There must be many levels of self-awareness and definition right now, plus many other levels of existence. The angels are on a higher or different plane of existence then we are. That is how the ancients used to describe it long ago. I remember the book Forgotten Truth by Smith. In it he said the ancients believed that there were seven levels of heavens and three levels of hells. So if us modern people take into consideration the latest string theory that says there are eleven dimensions, then we would slide earth right in between the heavens and hells. Ha. Well, just speculation, but speculation that may pull together into tomorrow’s truth.

I couldn’t leave it alone and had to ask, “Then what is the ultimate level? What should we aspire to be?”

“As gods.”

I suddenly knew what Jesus meant. He meant that we should become God-like or Buddha-like as a final step. I received an image of God-like beings stepping into all the levels and times there are on this earth in order to instruct us and lift us up. Their compassion is so great they must share it with us. This visit with Jesus was so insightful and beautiful that I had to stop so I could write it down before I forgot what he said to me.

Jesus spoke through my feeling of guilt at stopping our visit. “It is proper to write.” He said, “Your job is to share what you learn.”

1/22/05

This morning my meditation was peaceful and quietly effective. Perhaps a reflection of the blanket of white show that covers the ground all around Detroit. I joined the circle of light and it seemed to me that I saw people from different nations in the circle as we expanded the light within our souls. Then the light from the Source flowed beyond us, surrounding and wrapping the world in its own peaceful blanket, for the moment.

I realized that any person from any religion can join the circle of light because there are no prerequisite or conditions except a will to spread good. That is what the light is, a whisper of love that pours out from God’s heart into ours expanding our souls.

The light could never cause damage or hurt on anyone or any thing on earth. I am sure it can only be used for good. Any wrongness we find must be the snake of darkness, a darkness that we can dispel with God’s light. It is our new destiny. All of heaven has worked hard to give us this new destiny; we must use it well.

1/24/05

I saw Mohammed, huge and powerful, ride through Iraq and Mecca this morning on a white horse wearing a white turban that blew behind him in the wind. It was a vision for peace. He spoke words of love to his people as he rode. I got the impression he was telling the people to save themselves by embracing equality. Right after the mighty ride, he came and stood with us in the circle of light. Light poured from each of our centers expanding the breath of God over the whole globe of earth. Love will win out.

When Jesus took me to the well, I saw souls climbing out of it, perhaps souls who should have stayed put. I now suspect that the enemy of mankind has found a way to enliven those souls and send them back up to earth, not as new born babies, but as evil souls with thoughts that can overtake young ripe minds. The minds have been made ready this purpose by the false prophet. People are loosing their valuable young ones for a fake cause that takes away their children’s common sense and even mindedness. I call these dirty souls locust or soul eaters because they eat up the innocent. I cry for those it takes and beg God to please give them courage. Help all of us find and stay on the true path that give well being to all of humanity.

1/25/05

I didn’t work today and am glad that I didn’t because Jesus and I had a good visit. He came to me this morning and told me he wanted to explain to me what was going on. He took my hand to lead me through time. It was lumpy and he told me that the reason we were going slow was that he wanted to show me how the enemy has infected our future. As we traveled it seemed to me as if we kept going around big lumps of wrongness. We had to weave in and out between the lumps. The road truly was bumpy.

But when we arrived at our destination it was more or less smooth. Not completely, because as Jesus said once more, “Humans are a complex people and therefore will always have their conflicts. But you will win the major battle.”

I said, “Do you really think we will win? You’re not just saying that because we need to hear it?”

“You have already won.”

I looked puzzled because it didn’t feel like we have won anything yet and I wondered if, when we did win, we would even know it.

“You will know it.” He said. “You don’t know how deeply all of you have been influenced by the enemy. It has seeped into all the cultures of earth, but your enemies are already dissipating in the future. That is why the time we moved through was lumpy. Soon the lumps will be gone and all that will be left is the normal frictions that build up from the egos of humankind.”

“So something major has truly been going on?”

“Yes.”

“Something beyond our understanding?”

“They have attacked you through the psyche, a dimension that you can hardly see or understand. They became very powerful.”

“The light is working then?”

“The light is working. You are erasing their acts against you in the near future; erasing them from existence. Let me show you the future when they are gone.”

I saw a world that was working towards peace and prosperity for everyone. There were still many areas that needed to share in that prosperity but on the whole, mankind was working towards a worldwide connectiveness or togetherness. I understood that all religions were working well and integrating or getting along. Complex issues remained but it looked peaceful from my view which was far overhead. Even the city of Detroit had prospered. That led me to believe what I supposed about Detroit had been true, that it had been singled out for invasion by the enemy.

I call it an invasion but I don’t know what it was truly. I said to Jesus, “I am not sure how to describe it. Should I refer to their attacks as being like a pandemic?”

“That would define it.” He said.

“A pandemic of mind that we could hardly see happening. Like air becoming polluted and we were not supposed to notice until it was so saturated we couldn’t breath.”

“Yes. But don’t forget. You have won.”

“Was it something from beyond earth? Didn’t you tell me once that we only need to look for evil on earth and not off?”

“Yes I did and that is still true.”

“I don’t understand all of what happened or why.”

“You will.”

He smiled and hugged me and I felt so warmed and loved by his aura that I wanted to share it; so I went around the world hugging babies. I love their innocence and raw need to give and receive love. Every baby on earth has such beautiful potential. I reflected as I hugged them how easy it would be for us women to recapture empathy if we are ever in fear of loosing it. It is our maternal instinct that holds us in place with love. I went to different parts of the globe to hold any that I found in distress. I held this one tiny baby I saw on television after the tsunami. I had felt such pity and love for him I cried as I saw him. But I believe he is ok now. I suspect that the part I hold and coddle is the baby’s soul? I don’t really know. I only know that it feels good to me and the child who I hug and that I bring the light with me where ever I go. That is enough for me.

1/26/05

I have been pleasantly surprised each day that I attempt to cross Forrest from Moran. Forrest is a four lane, one-way street in Detroit that has had a broken traffic light for months now. I have noticed lately that when I pull up to a stop to wait for traffic to clear, cars and trucks in every lane stop to let me cross. This small act speaks volumes about who we really are and the kindness we show towards one another. No one needs to stop. The traffic on Forrest has the right of way. I just want to say thank you to the people of Detroit and the suburbs for being so considerate.

Here is something I copied from a wall-poster at school. It is a good reminder to all of us who have been out of school for a while of what our democratic nation stands for or what it should stand for:

Core Democratic Values

Life
Liberty
Pursuit of happiness
The common good
Justice
Equality
Diversity
Truth
Popular government
Patriotism
Rule of law
Separation of powers
Representative government
Checks and balances
Individual rights
Freedom of religion
Federalism (divided power)
Civilian control of the military

1/27/05

I got the idea for my next book, a love story running through time, from seeing Jesus last night. He stood next to me to my right for a very long time. Every time I looked in that direction, he was still there, as a ghostly visitor. I got the impression that he had just stepped out of his own time and down from the cross to visit me. This was far different than usual. There was no light surrounding him or aura of bliss. I saw his red swollen, hand hanging beneath a long sleeve. He stood as if in a slightly relaxed posture with his hand curled. I had only a partial vision of him, the rest of him was absent from my view. I wanted to cry, but didn't.

I felt his great, enduring love for me as we talked, yet his voice came from within me and not from the illusory form that stood to my right. Now it is gone but I can still see it in my mind and still feel like crying in sorrow.

I had just watched a copied tape of the program, “Beyond the De Vinci Code.” There were a few times that I did cry while watching the program. Jesus told me a few months ago that new information will be found soon. I assume that he meant the information would pertain to this theory. Good. There is so much silly controversy over the subject of the Holy Grail. I am definite that some of the facts in the book are true, but not all of them. It is a book of fiction and that gives the author a lot of leeway for invention and play, as it should. Still, his research should hold true and I am sure much of it does even if the real evidence is gone. There are and have always been groups and institutions whose underlying purpose was hiding the real truth when ever it lifted out of the human morass of knowledge.

I read part of a book filled with different views on his next book, that I haven’t read yet. Most articles were an attempt to debunk Dan Brown’s writing. What bothered me the most was the arguments about the division between religion and science. I was astounded to read learned people of science still debating a subject that has been settled long ago. The truth is that there is nothing us humans could invent or discover that wasn’t already in God’s template. Our attempt at quantum physics and string theory brings science closer to God than it has ever been before. Yet, we are still children playing in a flower field we don’t understand. The reason our science can’t yet scratch the surface of truth is because it lags so far behind. God’s science looks to us like magic.

1/27/05

There was an excellent article by David Brooks in the Free Press yesterday. He wrote of the negative change in upward mobility in our society. He said the hold on education that the upper class has eliminates many people from the middle class or bottom from ever reaching a lofty height. As he quotes from James Coleman's study, "Family status shapes educational achievement."

I agree. The problem isn't only money and what it does for education. It is about the power high education can give a person: the ability to make and instill decisions, the ability to push ideas into the mainstream, the ability to move the social fabric towards specific goals. This creates a problem when those goals become over-selfish and stop reflecting what is best for most people.

Lately we have been moving into separate layers in our culture with a top that thinks the whole purpose in life is to make more money and a bottom that can hardly pay their gas bill. One end wallows in wealth while the other begs for sustenance. What is wrong with this picture? It is a picture definitely out of balance. Just the opposite of Jesus' advise to me that we should try to keep a balance.

Is it the drive towards wealth that is wrong? Or the lack of education at the other end? Don't we have a right to lift up if we can? But how? And how far? How far should anyone reach to grab the golden apple? And, who needs a bushel of them. Well, some do.

The only true fix would be a change of heart. Enough heart to give everyone a feeling of accomplishment and something to accomplish. Enough soul to know when to stop collecting and accumulating. Enough will to challenge the business-as-usual mind set. A mind set that gives a few workers long overtime hours and lays off others when they could have spread the work around.

Well, change comes slowly in any society, except during war. But we are at war. Many people don't accept this fact yet because this war is subtle and hidden. If they knew and understood the parameters of this war we are fighting, they would be growing in patriotism, pouring into colleges, spreading spiritual and monetary help around to all their fellow humans. The fight is going on right here and now.

Ok, so where is the war, you might ask. The terrorists? Well our government is taking care of them. The real war is not with the terrorists, but with what drives them. What is driving them is the old enemy of mankind and its assembly of helpers. Its attacks are subtle and random; therefore, we can't see it's manipulations as easily as if it were outright war. There is as much terror hitting below the surface as above.

But I have seen us take action. We are using our hearts to care, our knowledge to understand, our pocketbooks to help, and our souls to light up the world. I believe that the knowledge and the will to follow the right course is growing in America around the world. We ordinary humans are going to win this battle.

1/29/05

This Saturday, after gathering in the circle of light and helping light flow around the globe, Jesus, myself and Y walked down to the end of the tunnel many of us have been building with our spiritual minds. I am not sure what kind of name to give the tunnel that is invisible and looks like a huge tree trunk or branch. Guess I need to think about it.

We walked through the center of an expanding ring and stepped into a bewildering maze of people walking to and fro. I think it was New York but during an earlier time period because most of the people were wearing hats. We left right away and I wondered why until I realized that Jesus’ purpose was to show us another use for the tunnel. It isn’t just a tunnel that will take us to other worlds in the universe, but also one that will take us to other times on earth. This makes sense if we think of earth/time as a ribbon that never dissolves except when we are watching, or as events “all out there right now.”

When we stood in front of the multiple rings once more, Y requested that we go to someplace he had in mind.

He told us, “There is a certain place I want to go.”

He didn’t elaborate. So we didn’t ask questions and followed. We stepped into a ring behind him and found ourselves standing next to a small line of people weaving themselves down from a high mountain. I think it was a religious procession, but if so, it was an informal one. The people were smiling and seemed playful. Were they saying prayers? I noticed they each carried something that I didn’t recognize perhaps because we stood a distance away. The people were surrounded by beautiful, snow capped mountains.

We didn’t stay long. When we got back I asked Y if he felt satisfied. He smiled his affirmation. I didn’t ask any further, but I suspect that he had something specific he was searching for and found it. Jesus probably knew and this was why he took us into time this day. The subject of time is a mystery that we may or may not solve some day, but I hope not. Not if we are going to use it badly.