June 05
6/1/05
Once again
the City of
So what they say, that is normal. No it is not normal for a city on the brink of disaster. It surly is not. Us little people who only earn $10,000 to $20,000 to nothing know how to tighten our belts; why don't you?
To the council: If you want to get hired once more, I suggest you take a cut in pay.
To the next
mayor: If you want to be elected, step back from the fantastic pay checks and
perks. Do you need a side-kick mayor? Do other cities have one? Cities like
To the
citizens of
I guess you
can tell that I am a little angry because I think they need to double the
police presence in
6/1/05
Last week, I decided to add a counter to a few pages of my web site. Not sure why, but I run into a lot of trouble after I did it. My whole home page shut down until I found out how to get it fixed. Now I am afraid to take the counter out because I don't know what would happen. Ah well, that's life for us computer illiterates. I did know enough to pick the choice of it not counting me when I put something new on. But don't worry, it tells me nothing about anyone; it only counts each time someone visits. Also, I have finally decided to cut the note page down in size because it is so large it takes minutes to get to the last entry. In this computer age, mere minutes count. If anyone wants to read what I wrote in any month since 9/11 it is in the archives listed in month and year.
I began it to explain my travels and talks with Jesus because I believe they are important. I still do, but I have put a lot of my own ideas and complaints on too. Actually, even if no one reads it, I will keep writing because the people of the future will want to read it. They have already told me that they will treasure what I wrote. I will put their statement as a dedication in my next book. It is like a circle, I couldn’t be what I am without their encouragement, and they like me because of what I will and have become. This follows my idea that Jesus is also from the future and he speaks to me so that I will write it down for anyone who wants to read it. With that belief, how could I ever not continue? I will not.
6/2/05
Only tonight have I realized how I have been sliding down hill. I mean in regards to my travels with Jesus. I have begun to miss our travels, but didn't realize how much until I saw a close up photograph of Jupiter. It is possible that my non-traveling is part of the attack on me, meant to make me forget about my usual and good habits, and if I can be made to forget to travel with Jesus, what other kind of forgetfulness is forced on me. Even worse is the possibility that other people may be experiencing laps in spiritual habits too. I don’t know.
I mentioned this worry to my friend Y and he was not surprised, plus he said he had noticed my slide downhill, but added that "It is ok. I wouldn't let you fall backwards too far."
It is nice to know that he would watch out for me. I can't think of anyone else on earth who is capable of doing so. Except Jesus, but he isn't on earth, plus he seems nonchalant about my backward slides. I suspect it because his sense of time is different than ours. What are long months or even years to Jesus if he is beyond our ordinary time frame? I try to remember this fact any time he tells me that something is going to happen, "Soon."
Jesus did tell me that it is not so bad if I fail once in a while. He implied that when I slide backwards or make mistakes it helps other people learn how easy it is and feel better if they do the same. This may have been why I was chosen to write about Jesus, I am certifiably fallible. Ha
Well, this night I decided to remedy that backward slide. Jesus and Y agreed and we traveled in large steps, all the while laughing at ourselves. We walked through the universe as giant, invisible beings for a lark and to please Y who had agreed with me that he liked the sensation of traveling instead of arriving someplace in an instant. This was a playful note from Jesus to us. It is interesting, but not really surprising, that we never see this side of Jesus in the bible.
We strode through amazing colors, purples and crimsons and billowing forms of gas until we stopped to study a swarm of living beings that floated in front of us, in the vacuum between the stars. I think I have seen similar kinds of life before. These forms were rounded and reflected the colors of the flaring red sun nearby. They looked and moved like bubbles from a distance as we observed them. I noticed that when two of the transparent bubbles met, they exchanged material.
Jesus explained that they didn't really live in a vacuum, that they wore an invisible coat of protection against the cold of space. I didn’t know what the beings looked like up close because we didn’t want to disturb them and we moved on. But I am constantly amazed at the tenacity of life. Anyplace life can pop up, it will. Earth is so abundant with life in the spring that it will grow anyplace. There is a crack in my garage floor that pale vines grow out of and when my basement window is opened, ivy grows through the large screen holes and almost into the laundry tub.
Jesus agreed, "Where life can take hold, it will."
Then Jesus pointed and asked, "Remember the gift I gave you once, a view of the universe that looked like your painting?"
"Yes," I said, and looked in the direction he was pointing. It was almost like my painting, but not quite exact. "It looks different."
"It has changed since you did your painting."
That makes sense, I guess, because everything changes, but doesn’t the universe move slowly? Too slowly for us to notice? Well I don’t know, but I have learned that we don’t travel in a straight line through time, and whatever we do travel in is probably beyond my ability to write about.
We began walking through green novas and gray dust, but it all disappeared when we walked through it just like a cloud on earth does when you fly inside. But the view was breathtaking, just the same. I remembered the gold universe that Jesus has showed me and wanted to show Y so I asked Jesus and suddenly our view changed as if we were walking on solid gold and everything had a golden overlay. What was once suns looked like dark spots in the golden misty air.
We didn’t stay here long because it so unusual it is hard to focus our eyes. I know Y was pleased with this view, but I wasn’t sure if he’d been here before. He has been to many different places, some that I am sure would make me stumble. Every time I want to show him something new, I find that he already knows it.
Then our travels were done for the night and I didn't mind, I was tired and ready for bed. But I don't intend to let any week go by that I don't travel with Jesus. I feel so much better now. I feel strong and full of light.
Jesus said smiling, "You are."
As I sat and wrote these notes the feeling of contentment and quietude surrounded me. I think the way I feel right now is what is meant by happiness.
6/2/05
This morning I wondered when I would find the time to go to the store. I needed to buy a new coffee pot. Mine broke yesterday evening. I tried using it three times, I unplugged it, I checked that it was on, and I let it rest before trying again, nothing worked. Then this morning before I left for work, an angel said to me, "Try it again." So I poured a cup of water in it to check the heating element, suddenly it got hot and the water began to steam out of the pot. I needed to grab a bowl to put under it. I didn't think it would work. I know this is just a small thing, but I think it is an example of how the angels help me when I need it. Angels have told me before that they try to keep things running for me. I wonder how they do it?
I have thought about it and I think they run things back through time. That would explain it. But I can't think a simple coffee pot would be worth too much effort. Maybe there isn't any effort involved. I don't know. Of course, some things can just begin working on their own. But with the angel's message to me this morning, I know they had something to do with it. I don't know what to say except, Thank you.
6/3/05
How did we ever get to such a state as believing that anything we can get our hands on, by right of ownership, belongs to us, a system of conflict where winner takes all. It must go back to the jungle or grass plains and the scarcity of food in the dry season. Our social lives still depend on our ability to grab the most bananas. It seems such an ingrained trait, I wonder if we could ever change it on a large scale. Individually, many manage to do so, those who give of themselves and share what they have. Not enough of us, to be sure.
The belief that one person has the God given right to grab it all from someone else seems crazy, even more so if we take a look from God’s point of view. By this I mean we should look down on that rolling earth below us and take note on how other space surfers might see us and ask questions. Does our idea of conflict and conquer fill the whole universe or are we unique? Are we the most absurd life form in the universe or normal?
From what I have seen so far, we are in the minority because most other forms of life seem able to transverse the universe like Jesus does, spiritually and physically as he chooses. Are we then the backward outposts on the edge of the galaxy, a galaxy that is filled with life, or does the whole galaxy go to war at times? We know that once there was a war or there will be a war near our earth space.
Whether the war has already happened or will happen in the future depends on which level you attempt to read Revelation. Everything in Revelation either has come true already or will. Chapter 12 of Revelation is enigmatic and revealing at the same time. One group of angels fought or will fight another group of angels. The result is that the looser lands on our earth. This looser uses time in such a manner that it can go backwards or forwards in time to confound us. What is this loser’s purpose?
Its purpose depends on what the battle was about. From reading myths, it seems that one factor of the battle was that one side had a low opinion of humans. We were referred to as sub-people, just as we might consider clones a sub-species if we created them. Perhaps this hints at what the loser’s goals are; to prove us unworthy of heaven.
If it is normal for other peoples to travel the stars, why don’t we? Is it because we are still too immature? Perhaps. I have met people on other planets who were about at our same level of evolution and they weren’t traveling either. The people on the many earths are all part of a directed evolution, one where we were nudged out of the mud, and towards heaven. Our evolution can be stalled or stopped by the looser. Perhaps it has always been this way, and will last until we allow our minds to rule our emotions instead of conflict.
6/3/05- strange
I’ve got to write this. I was napping or dozing off but not quite asleep when I jerked at the impact of a car crash. The person (I was?) rammed into a gold car, hitting it in the right side door. It was a sedan and could have been almost brown. I don’t think it was a new car.
So what happened? I looked at my watch right after I felt the impact. It was 1:40 pm but I don’t think time means anything because it could have happened in the past, as I felt it, or might happen later. I just hope it isn’t something that will happen to me later. I don’t know because I don’t know what kind of vehicle the person was driving, only the one that got hit. Actually, I believe that it was myself joining the person just before impact. The shock flung us together? All I remember is that suddenly I saw the other car, a gold one. I can’t remember if it turned into my path or if I or the person I was with deliberately rammed it. It was daytime, where ever it happened.
6/4/05
I need to write about this evening’s church service at Sacred Heart. We celebrated the Feast of Sacred Heart of Jesus and also Father Thomas’s fifty years in the priesthood. The singers were enthusiastic and wonderful because they were doing their best, but the voices of the two children who sang the solo was so loud, clear, and enduring, it brought tears to my eyes, and I think other people as well. Different sets of dancers swirled and stepped up and down the isle during the mass and at the end of the service a young lady who had grown up going to Sacred Heart stood up and played the violin. Sacred Heart church blazed with glory this night.
I noticed as people were leaving the jammed-packed church how they smiled with happiness. No one needed to be here in church on this warm, sunny evening, they could have been home watching television or working in their gardens, but they were here; that is a great testament.
As I watched the dancers up near the alter swing their arms with their white dresses flowing and twirling around them I was reminded of how much effort they had put in for this mass, how much effort everyone put forth to make the occasion bright. What is amazing is that they don’t do this for money. The cooks and ushers and servers and singers and dancers and volunteers of all stripes at churches everywhere throughout the country do exactly the opposite of how people live outside of the church, the business as usual crowd where conflict rules. Those in church are always giving of themselves, just as Jesus asked us to do.
Theresa, the director the children’s choir has been doing this job for as long as I have known her. She gives of her time for their benefit. I met one young man, John, who helped direct the adult choir this night who told me he began singing at Sacred Heart at the age of five. The food was so good I thought it had been catered, and only later found out that ladies from the church cooked and set it out, enough for three large rooms of people to sit down and eat. There are parts of our world and people in it who believe that giving of one’s self outweighs monetary gain. We have Jesus to thank for teaching us.
6/4/05
I keep reading about the countries
in
What is it
we do that is competitive? Is it that money rules? It would seem so. We seem to
have as our dearest creed a battle for who can grab the most, who is the
wealthiest, the most productive, the grandest. I have heard that the
Yet, compare our cutthroat economy with what Jesus asked us to do. We try, but are we falling behind? People send checks over seas to feed the hungry and help build wells, but others grab greedily at the till so much it becomes their religion. This reflects on all of us. Is this what is meant by economic competitiveness? The fact that we will even sell nuclear components and arms for money and never mind the moral of the story?
All I know how to do is hold up a mirror. We know who we are and what we see if we dare look into it.
6/8/05
Tuesday, I
told the teacher at
Teaching is hard, stressful work. My work at the office, even on its busiest days, is a relaxing jaunt compared to a day teaching. Ok that is the job description, but when I spoke of a medal for teachers, I was thinking of all the little extras that teachers do for their students beyond the call of duty. I know that teachers use their own money for student's supplies. Those I have met act as if they truly care for the students and try to solve their emotional problems as well as learning ones. I have heard numerous teachers despair because they could see red flags regarding some child, but were not in a position to fix the problem. I have seen teachers fret and discuss plans for students during their lunch break.
People don't appreciate the effort their child's teachers go through each day. I remember myself as a young mother raising my own children, I too took teachers for granted. I didn't think about how they tried to clean up my children's emotional mess at the same time they fed knowledge into them. It was easier to complain about the few who weren’t good than praise all those who were great.
Any teacher gives one of the most valuable gifts the children will ever need--knowledge. And what a struggle to do so. Even in the best classroom, there is always some kind of battle to contend with—he hit me, she picked on me, she took my crayon, I didn't do it, no one did it, I am telling. All this happens in between and around reading and arithmetic and special projects, (one special project a teacher does each year is bring in duck eggs so the children can watch them hatch).
Considering that many teachers give money, time, concern, and much else. If any group needs a summer off, it is the teachers. I am not sure how many people read what I write here in these notes so I have decided to write a short story about teachers and the work they do. A story probably has a better chance of getting read one day than these notes. It will be an outlandish story of some kind because everything I write has a strange touch, but I am sure it will have something to do with a teacher's dedication to a child. I need to think about it and write the story before summer is over.
6/8/05
If what I
read in the Free Press on Tuesday by Bob Herbert is true, (lately, not all
articles seem to have a true motive, they say one thing but are contrived to
make some person or establishment look bad. We have the right to complain, but
we should say what we mean and keep our perspective) then
What this
means is that
I worry and wonder what can be done
about this problem, given that it should be fixed. I don't know. It depends on
why there are people at the top and why they stay there. Is it because of
inheritance, investments, manufacturing goods? I am so dumb about financial
matters, it causes me shame, yet I am not so dumb I don't understand the
danger. Evidently some people are not concerned with the danger, namely those who
bankroll most of the wealth in
Don't they care that their hoarding of wealth and playing dominoes with jobs, is destroying people's hopes and potentially destroying our nation. Don't they care that it might destroy mine and your patriotism because who can be patriotic while looking for a job or fretting over bills? Don't they concern themselves with any one's well being but their own family?
I would wish them to be top dogs on some other island far at sea, not ours. Do they forget that we normal, creative, hard working grunge workers are important too?
The idea of holding great wealth and power in the hands of a few is not only a reversion to monarchy but possibly even worse, a move towards dictatorship. It portends the beginning of a subtle type of slavery, a mirror to a type of slavery that was not subtle a hundred years ago, a slavery that was given the right to exist through the power of our own government until people woke up and realized how damaging such an institution was for the country. An institution created to make and give a few people greater wealth. Is that what is happening today?
Such a system is not a democracy. The question remains: How can we, while we still live in a democracy, correct this imbalance of power. How can we fix this problem before it gets so far out of hand we wind up with a Hitler type for president? The only point I have ever found to say good about Hitler is that his name is bogyman enough to scare us. Well, it is time to get scared. Someone please do something about this nobleman vs. serf gap in wealth before it is too late.
Also, I read in the newspaper that
if
Well, guess again. I remember the 70's, they were pretty bad, but at least there was a safety net. That net is almost gone now. What will people do when they can't find jobs today? I know many who can't get jobs right now, young people just out of school. What about families?
In this respect, the president is right, we can't afford to loose jobs, but we also can't afford to be stingy with the greenhouse effect. There must be other options. The continued security of the people is important. I know that our government as a last resort job provider is not the best solution, but someone better come up with a better solution before too long.
Right now people seem content to watch movie stars and sports heroes and big CEO's of top companies and financial institutions wallow in awesome piles of money, but that will change if more and more people can't find work. Will we need to look up at their squander of wealth while we starve? How will they look down at us in return? As nobles did in the past, ignore us as a people as not worth bothering about, or instead as people who have the right to grow and prosper? I don't know. I do know that something went very wrong according to the angels who talk to me. Something that needs to be prevented.
Just this morning while I was thinking about the earth heating up and wondered at its cause. I worried about that our sun might be going haywire. I have a tendency to over stress a situation as a means of prevention, but if the problem is inside our sun, then there is no correction we could make.
Just then Jesus spoke to me about hope.
He said, "Diane, the earth can still be saved."
He didn't say specifically mention
6/9/05
The young men across the street are having a blast. Well, they are not so young, in their forties, but they are young to me. I knew their mother and watched them grow up. A few of them didn't grow up enough, it would seem. They partied and played loud music in front of their house, which is directly across from me, all night until 12:30 in the morning. The only thing that saves my sanity is that my bedroom air conditioner is so loud and cranky that it drowns out the music while I am asleep.
But before I went to bed I had to close my front door and turn on the television just to keep the loud sound out of my house. I got angry and then sad and then just disgusted at their uncivil behavior. Why can't they party inside the house instead of out on the street? Why do they need to party at all? I like both of them and their friends; I could even list a few of their nice points like one man's good sense of humor, but I don't feel like it. I just want the noise to stop.
During my disgusted mood last night, I kept asking myself, "What can I do?" The loudness and type of music is truly agony for me, especially if it continues over many nights. It clogs my mind until I can't meditate or think or write. One neighbor has threatened to sue the family, but that costs money, which is in short supply for me in the summer.
Finally as I lay in bed at 1:00 am in the morning, unable to get back to sleep. I asked Jesus, "What can I do?"
Jesus said, "I will try and move ____." He used the man's name but I won't write it here. I hope that means the young man will get a job out of town someplace. That would solve the problem for everyone, except maybe where he moves too.
I know I prefer to live in a peaceful neighborhood and so far this spring it has been very nice around here. My rose bushes have just blossomed and will stay around for about a month. My lilies have bloomed and the grass is growing. This is my favorite time of year because I can sit outside and smell the fresh cut grass and flowers. It is the best time to enjoy the evenings, if I can have peaceful ones. Peace is what most of us want in the world; the concept is so easy; why then must it also be so hard to achieve.
6/10/05
This is almost funny if it didn’t bother me so much. The young girls next door ate sitting on their porch listening to the radio. It is early evening and the same time I want to sit in the back yard. It certainly wasn’t as bad as a car radio that can boom out sound for two blocks, but it was annoying, just the same, so I asked them to turn it down. They did right away.
But I could still here it while I talked to Jesus and Y. It was bothering me. Jesus told me that I should be able to block the sound out. I tried, but the more I thought of blocking out the sound, the more I could hear the tinny radio. Y suggested I go to different places to try to drown the sound. I did. I even went to a waterfall that was pounding down up the rocks while Jesus, Y and myself sat around on a rocky ledge admiring the view.
The music did fade away but then came back as soon as I noticed it had faded. I had to laugh at my lack of control. Usually, when we travel, I am in touch with the outside world as well as the world we travel too. This is why it will be difficult for me to turn off the songs and talk hitting my ears.
Finally, after we went to the mountains and I stood in melting snow and admired the spring flowers, we left and went into the tunnel. After I felt the walls and gave them a pat of tenderness, Jesus walked us through the ring opening and took us to a green summer world of brilliant colors and splendor. A soft breeze was blowing and I could hear sounds like chimes. Over to our right, hanging like a curtain from the clouds, was a string of twinkling metal pieces that were making the music. It was very pleasant and nice to stand there and listen to the soft rings and tinkles. Nothing harsh at all.
Jesus told us that most worlds are like our own in that they always evolve some type of music and instruments for playing it. This must be almost a universal trait. As we walked further on a path on this world, I thought I began to hear the peal of large iron bells.
Jesus told me that I did hear bells and this culture had incredible sounds in many areas.
“Bells too are common to most cultures,” he told us and added “There was always a need through history to use bells to sound an alarm or call people to a gathering.”
I found this fact interesting because it was something I had never thought of before. And I realized that the radio sound was gone. But again, as soon as I noticed its absence, it picked at my ears again. I shrugged and took this to mean that I had to practice for more control.
I got a smile from Y. I am sure he can deaden sound when he needs to do so. I suspect I will forever be playing a catch up game with him regarding control ability. I don’t mind at all. It feel good to have an earthly person to inspires me, and urge me onward up the path towards enlightenment.
Ah, the word enlightenment is much like the light that pours our of our middle after we learn how to direct it. Wonderful how everything fits so well under God’s dominion.
6/11/05
Tonight it has cooled off a little and it is surprisingly quiet outside so far. I hear a few voices from the porch across the street, or a few children once in a while from next door, but that is all. A nice peaceful, quiet evening in my back yard. This year I can’t sit in front of my pond because the new grass is too delicate, so keep my chair on the sidewalk. I shouldn’t even be here because I have work to do. But I tell myself what is fifteen minutes of green grass and perfume from the roses. It is enough to give my whole evening a boost of joy. Then I can get back to the computer.
This evening too, we went for a short trip through the tunnel to a world of emerald greenery. The first thing I saw in front of us was a pyramid shape that seemed to be built of large faceted gems. The different colored gems, about the size of dinner plates filled every side. It was free standing above the grass. Then as we stood watching, it began to turn slowly and the light flickered on the cut rubies, emeralds and diamonds, I suppose that is what they were. It was as if we had requested to see more.
I couldn’t see what was holding it up. Jesus said that it was suspended by something we aren’t familiar with on earth. A technology beyond ours. Was I now feeling how a primitive person might to see a clear plastic stand for the first time? Perplexed at the sight.
Then we saw people in the distance walking to and fro. They were wearing long cloths and many were wearing head scarves. It gave me the idea that this pleasant, paradisel place was on a mature world. The clue was in the choice of clothing. I remembered visiting places with Jesus where people didn’t wear any clothing at all. I think it was because they were childlike in their innocence. A more mature society might have less innocence about them. It was just a guess on my part, but Jesus agreed that that idea could hold true at times.
We came away from the world and I thanked Jesus and Y, who had been with us this night too. I suddenly wondered if Y goes places with Jesus, he considers him to be Buddha, when I am not around. Of course he does. He has better control of his own wants and needs, so he wouldn’t get turned around in forgetfulness as I do.
He smiled at my thoughts and shook his head to imply that it isn’t true. I guess we humans are all fallible. Humility pours out of him. I would hope to have such an blessed aura myself one day.
Jesus said, “Yours is growing.”
His words pleased me. What better to have as a goal than an aura of contentment?
6/13/05
Now that I have put the counter on, I see that not too many people are visiting this site. That means that I now have more freedom to let go more, to say what I want. It doesn’t matter if a lot of people don’t read it, but I will continue anyway. Jesus tells me to keep writing, so I shall. I think more people came to visit before, but I may have scared them off when I went off the beaten path too much, I stepped too deep into certain ideas. I often do go out on a limb, I admit it, but I think if I don’t speculate as to the truth of what is going on, then no one will. So I keep going.
I haven’t been into Revelation for a long while and I am always amazed what further information and hints I pick up when I look back into it. I think the angels help me in this because they give me hints while I sleep? Just a guess, but sometimes I seem to wake up with more knowledge then I went to bed with. It is ok by me, but they always make me work hard to pull it out.
Well this time when I went back into Revelation, I found myself. I couldn’t hardly believe that I would be referenced 2 x in Revelation. It is my own interpretation, of course, and only on one layer that I call (my self layer), but it is amazing just the same. Revelation has had enough cryptic information in it that every age can see itself and now I even find a reference to me. Amazing.
About a year ago, I found the first reference to my own life in Revelation. It was while I was deciphering the letters again because I wanted to dig deeper into the idea of Detroit being the “throne of Satan” or the seat of Satan. For some reason, Detroit seemed to fit as the place and I wanted to check out the idea further. It began to make perfect sense, even the supposed, (tongue in cheek), reference to me.
Because I have learned that Revelation uses a lot of play on words, I kept playing with the phrase throne of Satan and come up with seat and rear end and finally, with a bit of humor that I am still laughing at, I finally come up with toilet seat. It is I who am Satan’s toilet seat. (Satan (tongue in cheek again, being one of my parents) That is how I have been treated all my life. As the person who conceived me’s rear end. Back end or toilet seat fits perfectly. So I have been laughing at this notion for about a year.
Rev 2:13 'I know your works and where you are
dwelling, where the throne of Satan [is].
And you hold fast to My name, and you did not deny My faith in the days {in}
which Antipas, My faithful witness [or, martyr],
who was put to death beside you*, where Satan dwells.
The Antipas on one level is a reference to Indians. We have a spot called Bloody Run near us. It is what first gave me the hint that Satan’s throne could be here in Detroit, plus the city had been so badly off for years. I kept looking for who or where that throne was and could have never dreamed that on one level, it would be myself.
Ok so that was only a small tickle that I didn’t share with anyone. Maybe I am crazy, after all. Last week I went back into Revelation Chapter 12. This chapter has always been an enigma to me. It hinted at a long ago mythic history, but it could also be taken as happening right now. So I studied it again and this is what I found.
Any hints that may pertain to my own person is in parenthesis, also my unique interpretation is probably only meant for me; other people could find themselves with their own interpretation.
Chapter 12 Revelation in at least three or four levels-- long ago, past, present, modern times, and far future
12 stars = 12 planets, 12tribes of Israel, 12 apostles, 12 stars on EU flag
Red dragon=Mars from long ago or Venus?, Pendragon a symbol for England now, red dragon a symbol of China in future
Level 1=past, Level 2=present, Level 3=future
1. John sees a great sign appear in the sky.
He sees a women shinning like the sun between the sun and moon.
She is wearing a crown of 12 stars.
[Level 1 ?
[Level 2=the women is a symbol for earth. She could be Liberty (how many points on her head? Only seven so not Liberty), or EU-Europia for Europe.]
[Level 3 ? a space ship decending?
2. She labors to give birth, even wails in pain.
[Level 2= [this would fit the EU right now.
3. Another sign appears in the sky. A huge red dragon. The dragon has 7 heads, 10 horns, and 7 crowns. 7+7+10=24
Red Dragon
[Level 1- Mars, or Venus or Planet X
[Level 2- England
[Level 3- Red China
Kings and queens
[Level 2= are there 24 countries trying to unite Europe? Or will there be?
4. Its tail sweeps away a third of the stars and throws them down to earth.
[what goes on here? Does the dragon call down a third of the angels? Does this portend a meteor shower? A darkening of the sky?
[Level 1- was once Mars or Venus or planet X moving through solar system. Or even before that and earth was set into the dark cloud? (far fetched)
[Level 2- PenDragon (England) – someone calling down reinforcements from space? This is why we are being invaded now? If true, this could also imply a joining of forces.
[level 3 – Red Dragon-China and eventual war in space
The dragon stands in front of women who is giving birth. It wants to consume, demolish, dispose of, devour, overcome the child when the women gives birth.
[level 1- prehistory and earth taking in the people from Mars?
[level 2 – would this imply that when the EU tries to begin, the dragon will try to dispose of the idea?
(on my personal level-it could mean what it says. I wasn’t supposed to live]
5. Women (Europia)? Gives birth to a male child.. Or on a different level it might not be an actual child at all. Depends on level of reading?
[level 1- democracy
[Level 2-Europia EU
(My level- could be female child because it is not unusual to change sexes to protect an identity I have been told that they(?) were looking for a male. To kill? Or what?)
A male child destined (as in supposed to rule) to rule all the nations with an iron rod [severely, hard, sternly –a good thing back then to be stern]
[level 1- not sure
[level 2- a male or female who is supposed to rule as in destined.
(if this means me, in any way, I am not very fit to rule anyone. I am the most un-queenly person I know).
Women's child is caught up to ( taken up to God) and his throne.
(This might mean to visit God's kingdom were I went once with Jesus)
(yes, some of this could apply to me. Destined but not actual plus my traveling in heaven with Jesus)
[does this set the time period when all this is to take place? Is that the purpose of one level of writing?]
6. Women flees into the desert. God has prepared a place for her. She will be taken care of for 1260 days. (31/2 years)? x 10=35, x 20=70, x 30 =105 or 1260/3.5=360
Twelvehundredandsixtydays
Syadytxisdnaderdnuhevlewt
Said y times x is Diane
Say lady x is Diane her num haves large weight
(I asked the angels once and was told that the other references I had found to Dna didn't apply to the Diana who is now dead.]
7 Then war broke out in heaven. Michael and his angels battle the dragon.
[are they true angels battling invisible angels now? The word portends the past?]
[level 1- long ago there was a war in heaven
[level 2- today there is or will be a war in heaven.
[Present- WWII? There are other spots in revelation that refers to the sky as heaven.)
[level 3- a real space war
The dragon and his angels fought back.
[where is this war? Does it mean our weaponry that flies in heaven? Who is Michael today?]
8. But the dragon and his angels did not win. There was no longer any place for them in heaven.
[level 1- long ago the dragon was kicked out of heavenly skies.
[level 2- today the winner of WWII was not the dragon. Communist Russia also has been kicked out of the skies? Not true. Has anyone recently? All those nations that can't build bombs?
[level 3-
9. The huge dragon, the ancient serpent, who is called the devil and Satan.
[interesting that it doesn't say it is actually Satan only that it is called such.]
[level 1- this could be a planet going by as V. said and it destroys much of earth. Myths tell of such events.
[level 2- it could be the invisible thing that I believe infects people to turn them bad.
(I have called my mother both Devil and Satan a number of times. Sometimes I meant it, but I don’t really know if it is true. It might only be true as it pertains to me.]
Who deceived the whole world is thrown down to earth. And its angels with it.
[level 1- this could have been actual long ago and they are still with us today
[level 2- this could be what will happen soon? If the devil is in England? Or it did happen already and Satan was Hitler. But maybe it is both, Hitler revived. That is hinted at too.]
10 a loud voice tells John
"now salvation and power has come and the kingdom of God. [ah, this is what I hope for] and the authority of his anointed. [his anointed are the people who will run earth?]
For the accuser of our brothers (sisters) is cast out. [that means that it happens]
This accuser had stood telling lies every day for a long time
11. The people conquered the accuser by the blood of the lamb. [By the name of Jesus? Christians.]
And by the people's testimony
Their love for life, did not stop them from facing danger
[Level- Present- WWII- or they are already dead but testifying against someone]
12. Heaven should rejoice and be happy
Woe to earth and sea [in other words our planet earth]
The Devil has come down to you in great fury
[Level 1- devil lands in the far past]
[level 2- devil lands or is just throwing weight around in a great evil swath of anger. Or greed has taken over the earth because of the devil which is furious, or it reads, come down on you-which reads totally different than a landing.]
He knows he only has a short time.
[short time as in eons? Or as a modern interpretation that it will get caught?
(need to go over this verse 10, 11, 12 again later)
13. when the dragon saw it was thrown down to earth, it went after the women who had given birth to a child.
[level 1- long ago in pre history
[level 2- dragon trying to stop EU from becoming? Or it literally went after the mother]
(this could be a reference to the fact that it tried to kill her or turned her into a very bad person.)
14 but the women was given two wings of the eagle (America?) to fly to her place in the desert where she was taken care of by God. Away from the dragon.
For a year, two years, and a half year
[would be interesting to know who the modern dragon was]
Raeyflahadnasraeyowtraeyarof
Ra y flah had nicer y you trace y are of
Race. Y Fla had nicer you were trace y are of
(it could mean that women was sent to Florida to have baby. Not sure what it means)
15 the serpent spewed a torrent of water out of his mouth after the women to sweep her away.
[Level 1- ok, some kind of flood.
[Level 2- Ocean, Or could it also mean a flood of words?]
16 earth helped the women. Earth opened its mouth and swallowed the flood that the dragon sent.
[Level 1- flood dried up
(she landed by boat? A stretch but the only present interp.)
17 then the dragon became (more angry) angry and went off to wage war against the rest of her offspring.
[Level 1-sounds like the whole human race is attacked
( On my level, this sounds like the dragon has attacked my children and grandchildren which I think happened.
18 it took its position on the sand of the sea.
This must mean that it has a ship of some kind in the sea. Don’t some of the UFO’s come from there? Not sure.
6/12/05
The
readings in church were interesting today. I get the impression that the
apostles knew more than what is told in the gospels, that they believed God’s
World was eminent because it was up in space at that time or was on its way.
Mat 10:7 "Now be going, be proclaiming, saying,
'The kingdom of the heavens has drawn near!' [ALT]
We need to remember that Jesus told the apostles more than they could tell people in the general population. They also knew something else, they knew that the world was in danger of wrath and it was Jesus who saved it. Jesus might have told them about the judges who are in heaven who might have given up on our world because of all the evil that was found on it. Remember that Jesus prohibited his apostles from going to certain places, almost as if he knew those places were filled with demons. Whether we call evil demons from outside ourselves, or as a modern interpretation of inner anger and hate, it adds up to the same thing-evil.
This evil can be seen from space by God and/or the other beings who dwell there. They could see that the demons had infected a great many people. It was Jesus who promised to change their hold on our planet. He did this by dying a horrible death, a death we have never forgot, and teaching us about love and peace. I suggest that he told his apostles about this possibility and why he died for us.
Rom 5:9 Much more then, having been justified [or,
declared righteous] now by His blood, we will be saved from the wrath
through Him.
Also in church
today Jesus came to me while we sang the Lord’s Prayer. I was trying to spread
the light energy from our prayers beyond the church.
Jesus
said to me, “It is working.”
And
I realized that it is true, it is working, or something is. Detroit has become
a nicer and better place these last few years. I feel proud that I may have
helped.
The
Beautiful Lady was there also as if to give support to Jesus words. She sent
her own light through me to use. I felt encouraged by Jesus words and her power
that I felt the light pour away from my body in a torrent of an invisible
light-waterfall that seeped through the church into the streets of Detroit
spreading good-will and love on this beautiful, bright Sunday morning.
6/14/05
I told someone the other day at church that I thought Christianity and Buddhism will join together one day, probably in about a hundred years. This isn’t only my own idea. The Beautiful Lady’s voice said this to me a number of years ago.
She said, “You will join two worlds.”
I now understand that she meant two religious worlds. Not that I am the first to see the likeness of the two philosophies. Their philosophies, the wisdom we have that comes directly from the Buddha and Jesus Christ is what will combine, not the religious practices.
It is only a guess but I believe this will come about because people are craving more spirituality in their lives and Christianity has down played the mystical Christ while highlighting the social one. Jesus told me once that he would be happy if every one on earth became a mystic. He wants everyone talking to him and accepting his wisdom.
If you read history, you will find that anyone with a different idea or who tended towards the mystical was ostracized and sometimes tortured by the church. There were many years when the Catholic church was as corrupt as any business could get, and that is what it had become, a business. It still is in many respects.
Christian churches in general have always tended toward the social, for good reason, how else could they count their members and grow? Also it makes one feel good to be among those of your own kind. But in our modern world, we are beginning to learn to be more accepting and knowledgeable about other cultures and peoples. We are learning that we live on an inclusive world of many people who are all important, a world that is growing socially smaller all the time because of the information explosion, telephones, television and now computers. It has become less easy to exclude different cultures and people.
So, for whatever reason, because modern life shoves us too close together, or the stress we endure every day, or a call from heaven, more people feel the urge to touch heaven, to incorporate into their life a deep understanding of spirituality and peace. A mystical friendship with Christ or Buddha or God or angel or saint is the only short cut I know to achieving this peace and spirituality. But we also have a long line of mystical saints and teachers who’s life example can help us. We have many great writers and teachers and many different systems for achieving our goal, a closer walk with Jesus or Buddha. It is a long road and I would wish that we could all be actively walking upon it, but some can’t see the road yet and others will need to die many times before they find it. We are the lucky ones, we know the road to heaven is there for us to walk and we are marching forward.
6/14/05
Jesus spoke to me about love this morning. I was thinking about what a friend said to me about St. Theresa and her relationship with Jesus. He said he thought their relationship was so strong it seemed almost sexual.
I agreed. As I thought about it, I thought to compare what I know about her experience with my own communications and relationship with Jesus. Impossible because we live in a different world. Our world expresses sexuality as needed, even over stressing its importance. We are certainly more open.
Jesus stepped into my thoughts and said, "It doesn't need to be sexual to be intense."
I thought about this and remembered very intense moments I had with Jesus.
He added, "Here in heaven, love is always flowing; it is strong all the time."
I tried to come up with some analogy where love is always intense and flowing here on earth and the only group example I can find is a nursery filled with new babies. Surly there is always love surrounding those babies in the nursery.
And just as surly, we need more of it. We need that type of heavenly love down here on earth. The light from the Source helps us spread more of the love from heaven. I need to think and remember more throughout the day about sending it out, even for a second. Many of us can do so and should.
6/14/05
This morning during meditation the Source that flowed out of me felt strong. A large group of us joined hands for a second and sent the light out from the center where it had expanded and now flowed back to us. It is as if we get fed double just by standing in the circle. We get back so much more than we put in I am amazed every time.
As a group we sent the light down into the earth and up to the space station then began moving it as a thick curtain across to the east coast, NY and then into the Atlantic and Europe. We sent it across to the Middle East, Africa, and finally back to both Americas. The result was that for a short few minutes, our whole earth was filled with God's light. Earth was a round soft ball with an aura that went up to into space. After a short time, we had to break apart because we couldn't hold such light around the earth for a long length of time.
Right then Jesus spoke. He said, "One day you will." Then added, "A time will come when you [all of us] will be capable of enough sustained power to keep the light steady at all times.
I understood that when the light from the Source has grown into a constant aura around earth, there will no longer be a place for the evil one. No one will allow it to enter.
6/14/05
It was around 3:30 in the afternoon while I was sitting back, eyes closed, and listening to my new CD of Pavarotti sing "Ava Maria" that the Beautiful Lady came to me.
Suddenly my closed eyes seemed to fill with light just as she appeared. She spoke and said, "I am she."
Shivers of joy run up and down my body now as I write the memory of this visit that is so grand.
After she said those words, I said, "Ava Maria. You are Ava Maria?"
She smiled her acceptance of my question. This means that her name is Maria, I don't know the exact translation for Ava but I am sure it is blessed and good. I loved the sound of her name and felt exhilarated by her words to me.
Then she told me to open my eyes and I would be able to see her. I didn't open my eyes but couldn't see her for a moment. I could only see a white outline as if of a head scarf and arm sleeve. I kept straining to see but the window blinds and furniture and walls kept getting in the way.
She poured light out of her from the Source and I saw it as if a waterfall were coming from her being to mine. Finally, I did see more of her. She was splendid and glowing with a white aura. I thought to see what color her hair was but could not because her hair was glowing too bright.
She truly is God, as female. There is no doubt in this realization.
She said to me, "I will give you a rose."
She began to hand me a blue rose. I told her I would prefer a white rose because the blue one portends sorrow. She smiled and the rose changed into a large, white one, similar to the rose bush growing in my lot.
I reached up to take the rose with my fingers, then set it upon my chest where it disappeared. All this time I wasn't exactly sure I had truly got hold of the rose. I guess doubts abound even during miracles.
Suddenly the lady named, “Ava Maria” said to me, "You reached to the right spot to take the rose. It is in your own heart now."
As I write this I feel amazed and awed and scared. I have seen the Beautiful Lady before a number of times and wrote about her. She has always seemed godlike to me. Now I know she is a God. I have referred to her as Mary. I wasn't sure why, but she was the person who came to mind when I saw her. Now I know that she is Mary, or as she says, Ava Maria. [need to find out what it means]
Thinking of this I remember reading about different times when Mary appeared to people. Sometimes large crowds would gather for a hopeful glimpse of her, or to bask in her holiness. I find it amazing that this no longer needs to be true to be close to Maria. She is using the internet to reach out to more millions than could ever gather in one spot on earth. This new technology surrounds the globe, and Ava Maria is willing to utilize it for our benefit.
What we should keep in memory is that God exists in all times. Maria is in all times which means she is in the future as well as the past and present. She allows us to use whatever technology we have at hand to spread her presence and message. A hundred years ago it was the newspaper, today it is the internet. Tomorrow it may be space messages sipping faster than the speed of light to distant worlds. As long as there is a humanity, no matter where we travel in the universe, our Gods will stay with us. I keep seeing Ava Maria in my memory, but she tells me that she is there as close as thought and she will stay with me all the time now.
6/19/05
Well, I finally made a fool of the enemy, the one I call Satan, at least in a small way. I was given some advise a few years ago about how to get around the evil one. The advise was: Always give the enemy something you pretend is important so that it only attacks smoke.
In other words, give it something to toy with, not your real heart. Well I did. I gave it my neighborhood beautification project, a few tiny flowers and objects I was going to throw away. Instead, I put them out and protected and cared for it as if it was pure gold. Then I waited for a small miracle or for Satan to do its dirty work. The enemy came and showed its face, well, never its real one, but close enough.
It didn’t take long before the enemy who owns the homes near me (five steps removed, of course) rented to a new family a week ago who insisted on putting their bulk items on top of the flowers. The tiny garden had lasted a surprisingly long time, about two months. I guess it finally got to the enemy, so a huge mountain of trash built up near the flowers. Then some person took away the small fence and bird bath stand. Crazy.
I grin and bare it. Especially because I am laughing inside. It is a small victory, but I felt good and ok about it. I pulled some trash off the flowers and will see if they can continue to grow. Not sure.
This can serve as an example for all of us. We usually think of evil as pure hatred that kills and maims, but it isn’t really. True evil plays a game with you of irritation and stress, it tries to make you get worked up over something.
One famous Jew (I forget his name) wrote of the malevolent evil of the holocaust. He described it in such trite terms that I will never forget what he said. “Evil is banal.” His meaning was that it often proved to have a trite and manipulative rational behind it. Many people who treated the Jews so horrible said that, “We had to do it or loose our job.” That is the face of evil.
And I can’t end any writing on such a note so I will say, thank you God for all you have done for us. Thank you Jesus for your teaching and love. Thank you Ava Maria for your gift of power. Thank you angels who are helping us avoid evil today.
6/24/05
I need to laugh at my personal enemy once in a while and did yesterday when I saw certain books written by someone else splashed all over the book store. I have stated a number of times how distasteful they are and, of course, this enemy heard me. A year ago it was an unknown writer who no one but the enemy ever heard of, this year it is suddenly in libraries and book stores. I tried to read one of the books and after two women slicked up a man with Vaseline, I chose not to read any further. It says a great deal about our differences.
It may have been a direct move on the part of my mother to stop me from writing. If my writing was to become well read, it could be a potential disaster for her because she wouldn’t be able to control what I write. Well, I am writing it now. This will get read one day. It is part of a serious game that she has been playing against me to stop the news of who I am from getting out. It would hurt her good name if people learned that I have lived in poverty while she rolled in millions every year. So she mocks me by deliberately helping other people rise to the top. As it says in Revelation, the enemy has deceived the whole world. This is very true and the deception and manipulation hasn’t stopped with me, other people have felt the sting too, though they don’t know who it is who hurt them.
It seems to please the enemy when it taunts me. I have noticed that it is like a immature child who wants and needs the glass first and all the time. It doesn’t think that the glass will become empty one day. Just the same with books, if they rise fast, they fall just as fast. Truly great writing doesn’t explode on the market place, it builds up gradually. Some of the greatest books endure forever, they are not the ones chosen by my ever riding enemy.
6/24/05
I have search for the truth and found a possibility so horrible I don’t know if I dare to write it down. It is that there are a few old people who learned how to live a long time and who have come from the future to use up our emotional energy. This sounds too much like science fiction, but the more I learn, the more I believe it might be true. If true, then they have superior technology because we helped them create it, they know us inside and out because they are our descendents, they use our emotions unabashedly because they hate us. We destroyed their world.
I hope I am wrong, but I believe that those flying saucers and the occupants who pick people up are not from another planet, they are from our own near future. There are good people in our skies who are from the future and other worlds. It is only certain groups who use us, those led by the evil one.
These enemies have great technology, power, and superiority and they know how to play with our tastes. They are nothing but parasites trying to stay alive by using us. But they do not seem to understand the enduring motifs of heaven. We are far more moral and enduring then they are. We have the potential to live forever with Jesus and travel through time and space with him.
What can we do? Nothing that I know of except that we try to control our anger. The enemy need us, we don’t need them. We have the high moral and spiritual ground. We are superior. It is we who will travel the stars with Jesus help.
6/25/05
It is late in the evening of a hot day and I am tired, but at Jesus request, we went on a short travel to another world. I asked him why and he told me that I am being attacked and that the enemy doesn’t expect me to be able to travel with him tonight or write about it. I can’t think of a better reason for going at this time and laughed with Jesus as we entered the tunnel.
Of course, Y came with us on this short adventure and my first act was to put my hand out and feel the side of the tunnel. I think I do this because it orientates me. It is interesting how we humans turn everything into a rite or habit. But this night, I needed to feel the woody texture on my fingers. I have been feeling flighty and restless, probably caused from the psyche attacks.
It felt good to stand with Jesus and Y inside the dark red tunnel and walk forward. When we got to the end and saw the light rings, we both let Jesus take the lead to where we should go, but it was hot and I had been thinking of the cold mountains that we often went to visit. Leave it to Jesus to never disappoint, as I walked out of the tunnel I stepped into mounds of deep, white snow.
This world seemed more or less flat except for dunes of snow in the distance, but it was hard to tell from my position because I was waste high in cold snow. It felt good. I realize I didn’t have a real body, just a spiritual one, but I felt the cool air and icy snow just the same.
We stood still and quiet for a while and Jesus said, “Snow is the same on most worlds, made of water ice.”
I immediately thought of Tition the moon of Jupiter. If I remember right, it has snow made out of hydrocarbons. Sticky stuff, but this snow looked to be exactly like snow on earth as the wind picked it up and blew it past our faces in a mist.
After a while Y noticed what he thought was a low lying dome in the far distance, so we went over to it. When we got there Jesus told us to enter with him. We dropped down through the dome as if we had been invited, and we were.
We had entered an alcove or upper sitting room of a very human city. We could see streets below us below the balcony. The city seemed empty. We were met by an elderly lady with long hair. She told us that there were only a few of her people left. She explained that their world was so old that it had become covered in a layer of ice. Their children left long ago and they were all that was left of their race. The lady looked to me to be human.
She said, “We are dying.” But she smiled as she said it then added, “It is fitting. We thank you for the visit.”
That was all. The other citizens of the world didn’t seem inclined to great us; so, we felt it was time to leave and said our farewell to the elderly lady.
I couldn’t wait to ask Jesus, as soon as we left, “Do all worlds end that way?”
Jesus said, “You know the answer to that already. Some worlds end in disaster.”
I was silent then. I couldn’t help remembering the places Jesus told me to so I could write my first book, Traveling in Time and Space. In that book we went to a number of what I called, disaster worlds. But that usually meant a disaster to the people inhabiting the world, not the world itself. This time it was the whole globe or world itself that was dying.
This morning as I write this I begin to wonder if it wasn’t earth that we visited, or our earthly pro-generators. An interesting thought and the more I think it, the more I believe it may be true. Didn’t the lady say their children left long ago. She didn’t mean her personal children, she meant their race of children. Maybe humans came from that world? What an interesting idea, but I only suspect it might be true. I am not sure, so I will ask Jesus.
He smiled at my question. “Yes, Diane. You picked up on the sense and purpose of our visit. Good for you.”
This reminds me of the new earth Jesus had created. It seems evolution of humans continue all through the universe. On that earth, we are more mature and more willing to teach ourselves the inner workings of our own psyche. We develop powers that are only latent in humans on earth. Mostly because we refuse to train ourselves properly, especially the children. That argument about nurture verses nature has been solved by Jesus. On the new world, nurture wins hands down.
6/26/05
Church was nice this morning. I was glad to see one person was back, an elderly lady who is ninety years old, who always dresses in such coordinating colors, and who looks like a fresh flower every Sunday. A very sweet person who always speaks to me with a nice welcome.
Today the pews were more empty than I had seen in a long time. I think people are away on vacation. I was thinking about it when Jesus spoke to me.
He said, “Take another look around.”
I did and saw angels filling up the pews. They were standing and sitting next to everyone in church, and no one noticed. I smiled at the image. Jesus stood next to me and the angels stayed where they were during the whole mass. When it was time to go to communion, I gave a quick thought about if I should take my purse up, I usually don’t. Today, I looked around, nodded my head and smiled. The church was so filled up with angels a thief would have a hard time of it. I walked up to communion with a big smile on my face as I thought of all the angels surrounding us.
Note- Ah, I have learned what Ava means. I asked a group of people at the table after church. Ava in Latin means Hail. It is a greeting. I now realize that when the Beautiful Lady told me, “I am she,” as the song Ava Maria played, she means that she was Jesus mother on earth. She is the Mary who the angel said in the New Testament, “Hail Mary.” She is also a God.
I feel truly honored knowing that it is she who visits me. She feeds extra volumes of light from the Source into me when ever I need it. I still remember when Jesus and Ava Maria took me to visit the Source for the first time. That was when they told me what to call it. They said that it was the Source of all things and showed me. I will never forget. Also, Instead of calling her Mary, I want to continue calling her the Beautiful Lady or Ava Maria. The words have a promising, sorrowful, and hopeful ring to them.
6/25/05
Need to write about the dream I had the other night. It was the same night that the three beings came to me and said, “You are the only one who found us out.”
I don’t remember if I was actually sleeping when they came to me, I don’t think I was, but just before that I had a dream. In my dream I was with a husband (or friend) as we drove down road towards a bar where I was often very happy. He suggested it looked too dangerous.
We drove some more and he stopped the car near the bar. I used to go to this bar often when I was younger to listen to the singers. This time we got out and played in the snow. We kept throwing snow balls at each other.
At the time I thought, I’ll bet they can’t figure this one out. They don’t know why we throw snow.
I must have been referring to the ones who had captured us?
Next they had us. He came to the hospital but I saw his hand bandaged. I was given a shot. Then I woke up.
So what was this dream? Just a dream? I doubt it, not on the same night when I saw the people, who were real but insubstantial, like clear colored shadows. That same night that I realized that older ones were trying to control our emotions.
Also, right after this, Jesus said to me in reference to my thoughts about the enemy, “It was human once.”
I don’t know if he meant that it had human feelings of empathy or that it really had been human once, but he sounded disgusted. Yet, he also told me that he would forgive Satan, even now. This is amazing. His words keep me calm when I think of the enemy. I like to think I can forgive too.
So what happened during that visit from the strange beings or just before? I suspect that they had played with my head and gave me the idea to dream, but I chose what I should dream about? That is why I thought the dream would confound them.
Also today, I was told by the angels, perhaps these same beings, I don’t know, that I had conquered my fear. I was watching Batman conquer his at the time. I am not sure what they meant, perhaps that I was no longer afraid of them? No longer afraid of the dark?
I have thought often that if they would just treat us nice and openly, we wouldn’t be so afraid of them. I suspect that it is they who are afraid of us. If we are grabbed, for any reason, it sets up a flight/escape behavior. That may be what is happening.
Regardless, I also suspect that they may be directed by the enemy, at least sometimes. I don’t know and this is all a guess. In fact, I think I will put it on the web. If anyone reads this in the future, they will have the information in case it is important.
6/25/05
I remember the other week Father said in church that everyone should read Matthew's version of the Sermon on the Mount. I forgot because I avoid the bible for weeks at a time. The reason for this is that every verse has become so intriguing to me with multiple layers, that I can't put it down once I pick it up. How could I get anything else done if all I did was translate the bible?
Right now I have a few references to look up from another book I am reading. The book suggests that much of the New Testament is made up of myths or allegories handed down from ages long before it was written. I read this and realize that some of the information adds another level to the bible. I know Jesus was not an allegory or mere mythic figure, he was real and walked the earth. But I can see how some of the ideas Jesus acted out and some of the messages he gave us mirror events in ancient history too, myths from Egypt and Mesopotamia. This is because heaven is constantly trying to teach us, over and over, it seems.
It is the story of the elephant all over again. I rewrote the story from my granddaughter and put it on the web at Elephant Story. Our view depends on what part of the elephant we decide to look at, but the truth is the whole thing, not only its parts. I call it levels of understanding because I struggle to see the whole message. This means that I can find the references to allegory as true as many other interpretations. They are all true. Even the Gnostics.
I have been reading about the Gnostics of the first century. Because they believed in growing in wisdom and mysticism they were more in line with Jesus teaching than we are today.
Jesus has told me himself, "I would like everyone to be a mystic."
But somehow the word has been given a bad reputation. I think it meaning is that a mystic talks to Jesus or someone in heaven. If Jesus wants us to talk to him, then we should. I have learned so much since he stepped into my life, that I am a changed person who is growing in wisdom by leaps and bounds, well, in between falls.
I know now that Jesus would have us think for ourselves, that the meanings in his teachings go much deeper than the words we read. It is for us to sift out the message. So today I will open the bible and my mind will explode with all the possible and multiple meanings I find there. I love it, but I need more hours in a day. Someday I will have more time to explore and study. Regardless, I am very happy and feel that I have a full life because of my writing and study.
6/26/05
I felt tired and reluctant to travel tonight. I don't know why. Before we went, we talked about dimensions and the multiple layers we live in. Jesus told me that we can change levels, but we would never notice because we change potentiality too. He added that if I could see one specific spot in all its dimensions and levels, it would look like an explosion to my confused eyes. I am not capable of seeing so much at once.
The talk of dimensions and moving back and forth in them gave me a jolt of fear. What if we could make those jumps, then we could also jump into a huge mistake. I felt frozen in place and afraid to move.
Jesus laughed. He said that I don't need to worry. The moves into the future are only potentially available.
Then he added, "More than this, you don't need to know."
Then we went into the sky tunnel because Jesus said there was someplace specific he wanted to show us.
We walked through and stood on a mountain. It wasn't capped with snow, so I thought it might be huge hills that we stood on. Then Jesus took us down into the mountain, into a square room. I think I remember the room as pink, as silly as that seems as I write this. We kept going down deep into a shaft in the mountain until we came to a room filled with guns.
We then went to another opening. This one was low and a person would need to crawl through it. It seemed sandy in color. It wasn't much more than a long crawl space out of the mountain. I guessed it was a second exit in case of an emergency.
Jesus explained that we were in Afghanistan, in a Talebin stronghold. By now it was obvious to me that we were still on earth and after seeing the pile of guns, I guess someplace in the Middle East.
We stood at the small opening and I saw a huge, oval boulder standing as if alone not far from the hidden entrance. Most of the other rocks around where we stood were sharp, but the boulder was smoother.
I asked Jesus why he brought us here.
He explained that there was going to be a large attack soon.
"But there is always an attack," I said. "I don't see what good it does to know before hand."
"Maybe it won't help." Jesus said. "Why don’t you write it anyway."
"I will." Then added jokingly. "Maybe we are in one of those alternate universes."
Then I couldn't connect well anymore. The evening and my restless mood was feeding me energy I didn't need instead of calming me down. I was sitting in front of my pond, too, listening to the water trickle over the rocks. That should have made me very quiet and still, but didn’t this night.
I asked Jesus' forgiveness and said I had to leave. He told me not to worry, and I sat next to the pond for a short while doing just that.
6/27/05
I love the mass and would recommend the Catholic church to any one who wanted to become a Christian, in fact, I have recently suggested it to someone. But I notice a problem in all Christian denominations that needs to be solved and that is that the services end at a certain point and don't carry the person further into the mysteries of who Jesus was and is. Church is a pleasant, social, means of prayer, but is it enough? Is it enough for the priest or pastor to send people off each Sunday with instructions to go home and pray?
We are all in different stages of development and need help to keep moving towards wisdom. All people need to learn how to walk and talk with Jesus during their life. Every person who wants to can have Jesus just as close to them as he was to his apostles and as a best friend as he is to me, a friend who gives help and hints about our world.
We Christians are not complete until we begin to live the life Jesus lived, until we allow Jesus to become our constant companion, until we become mystics. The whole world needs to become mystics if we wish save it.
The church has called many mystics heretics instead of saints. I understand this is because we are not always able to discern the truth from falsehood, and there is much falsehood. But when you follow Jesus, the falsehoods and games people play become more detectable, more silly. The worship at church is only a start, a beginning on a long road to travel towards God. We are all on this road.
The monks of every religion understand this. Ideally, all people would become as steady as Buddhists monks who can sit outside and meditate during a snow blizzard, roaring storm, or beneath a hot blazing sun. They know how to communicate with the universe and its God so deeply, it seems impossible. To me as well. I have a very long road to travel if I think I can ever achieve such bliss. But shouldn’t we have this as our goal, a perfect communication with God?
6/29/05
I watched another copy of a program about the DeVinci Code. Most of it I already knew so I only paid scant attention until someone said that Leonardo used to write some of his notes backwards. I never knew that but it helped me remember the information I learned while reading the book the second time, the illustrated book from the library. I put the information I learned in my New Testament notes but never put it on the web. So for any readers who are interested in the book and its possible truths, here is another hidden clue that Leonardo gave us.
If you take his name and spell it backwards.
Leonardo DeVinci
Icn-ive-dod-ra- noel
Icon eve r a door noel
The Last Supper
Rep-pusts-al-eht
Rep. puts all right
When you read words backwards you need to use bad spellings and sound out the letters. On occasion you can add a letter. For instance, Eht spoken out loud sounds like right.
The Mona Lisa
Asilanomeht
As il ano m right
Is lil one m right
as lil mom right
A silent moment
Any one of these might work, but I prefer the last possibility. It is very poetic.