11/1/05
During lunch at the school where I worked the other day, I grabbed a book that was very interesting, Borderlands the Ultimate Exploration of the Unknown by Mike Dash. He wasn't kidding, he seems to have included everything odd and un-normal in the one book. He writes as a part-skeptic but this gives the reader a feeling of honesty which is good. Also, he discusses all sides of the issues which I found instructive and interesting.
I could only skim a few pages and read one chapter about human memory. What I read gave me much food for thought. I thought of my own skepticism. If anyone is reading this that reads my other writing they might have a good laugh at that statement, but it is true. My skepticism begins at a different level. I begin with the idea that everything is illusion, and search for proof that anything exists. I think that we are all living on a made up set or stage, perhaps a dream in God's mind. To me the whole matrix we exist in is all implausible and unreal until proven otherwise. I didn't always think this way, but this attitude of understanding grew in me over the years.
I came across one section in the book that labels some people as having "fantasy prone personalities." One example given was a child who kept seeing trees, flowers and grass when she looked at a wall. What is the problem? To me this is easily explained by the behavior our quantum mind. A quantum mind can be everywhere and she was seeing further into reality than most people are willing to see. That is all. We put our own stamp on what we decide to call reality. Youth are not always set into the reality we want for them yet. Some of us have lost that innocent view and try to recapture it.
Just recently I broke out of a sleeping containment in some kind of dark space. The containment was built of a clear substance. A high angel, (I call those who glow brightly with light, high) spoke to me after I broke out and said, "You can stay outside now, if you want."
I can stay outside my confinement? But what am I supposed to do outside? What did I see? I don't know because I avoided looking again. So now I ask, was this a real experience or not? What is real? It would take a book to ask the right questions, so I still don't know. Yet, whatever the purpose was, I learned something. My mind jumped to a new understanding as if a new universe had opened up before me, or I had been given a personal Koan. I had received a quick awakening lesson in the land of the absurd. This is probably the most effective teaching tool humans can experience.
This also
explains why UFO don't stay around. Their purpose, those who's aim is our
well-being, is to teach in absurdities which is the opposite of a talk with our
leaders. This idea was first brought to my attention in one of
I believe that if we could see what is truly in our sky we might be very surprised. We might find Jesus and angels flying around in vehicles as well as people not of earth. We might also see those dark ones who try to keep us swimming in darkness, that group who uses something like hypnosis over us, a cloud of reality that some children and a few adults seem able to push their minds out of.
The dark battle rages right here on earth, not as fire power but as mind alternation and illusion. We are all in the battle whether we want to be or not and each of us must eventually choose on which side we will stand. It doesn't feel like a real war, what ever that feels like, because the thrusts and wounds are so subtle. But it is a real war with some people undercover and some working for the light in strange places.
I get the feeling that all people are being sorted out as to which side they will stand on. Who is doing this? Angels? But how are we to know if we are on the side of light or darkness? I would assume most people are on the side of light. But it isn't for me to say who is and who isn't. Will people say that they are just doing their job this time too? That was a constant refrain in Nazi Germany. The ways of the enemy are many and will probably be different this time. Perhaps today's refrain will be, business as usual.
But there is no way to know if someone is fighting for the light or against it by their outer appearance. Wealth or poverty, neither automatically gives a clue to where a person stands. Angels must have chosen many who are wealthy to help in the battle as well as a politician here or there and other major players around the earth. I am not sure and only know my own part. I am to write what I learn, what I find, and what is explained to me.
Ah, I got off track, back to memory. We have little knowledge of what memory is and thoughts truly are what they became: a plastic scribble board to imprint action on. But our enemy may know how to use it to its own advantage.
Quote from Borderlands:
Most alarmingly of all, it is possible to introduce extremely false memories into the brain, either deliberately or quite unconsciously. Once implanted, false memories are indistinguishable from true recollection, and will continue to seem real even in the face of convincing evidence that they are fantasies. It is even possible for false memories to pass lie-detector tests.
The reason I used the full quite is because I consider that such a technique could also be used a form of brain washing, even of whole populations? I have some memories that are different from what my normal childhood memories are supposed to be, but what does that mean? Do we all get false memories at some point?
It is also possible that when people think they are remembering sadistic rites in childhood, they could be reliving past lives when the events might have happened. I believe that sometimes our minds may get mixed up in other times and places that we may be living simultaneously. Jesus has shown me a multilayered earth, tiers of lesser or more substantial matter depending on the position and need of the viewer. This is the levels that God sees. Who knows, maybe one level highlights souls? Well, then aren’t we in trouble.
11/3/05
Don’t have much time to write. I did go to Cotton world for a few moments and then for a short while and I talked with Aaron as we walked through a very huge, long underground tunnel. They have cars but they would never allow pollution inside their tunnels because they are an enclosed space. To bad we don’t think of earth as enclosed.
We talked more and I asked about other places on their world. Aaron admitted that the continent he lives on is most familiar to him. I saw an image where this whole continent has the fluffy cotton in season, but he spoke of differences that I didn't understand. The other continents on the world are not as well known to him by choice.
I asked him what would happen if the other content became over crowded one day. What if it gets like earth? What if the other continent starts a war.
Aaron smiled. That would never happen because we wouldn’t allow it. We keep most events in balance. We don’t allow for such things.
I thought of earth and our billions.
Aaron said that earth is a rogue planet; that most planets that he knows of keep a balance with nature and its people. After he said this, I remembered that Aaron, who lives such a seemingly simple life, has traveled to other planets. I thought the words rogue planet sounded like a science fiction story I should write. Rogue Planet Earth.
It also makes me feel like crying. I don’t want the suffering to continue as it does on earth. I want to help earth achieve more of the balance it should have. Why has it gotten so out of hand?
Then I answered my own question. I know why and who put it out of balance. Truly it is not in the enemy's best interest that we learn to walk in the sky tunnel, go to other worlds, or learn there are better ways to live. Truly, I see the sun light rising as soul that will cover the whole world because the enemy will be finished with us.
I feel that I must stay and add my own effort to that achievement. Although, Jesus said to me, "You can stay here to live in you like."
"No," I answered, "I belong here on earth where the problem is most severe."
"I knew you would make that choice." Jesus answered.
Though, I have had a few days since that I might have made a different choice.
11/3/05
I know most people won't believe me, but I believe another benefit of the light from God is that it will eliminate a bit of nano-technology if any has been inserted into the mind. If some group has done such things to people, the technology is foreign and probably easily gotten rid of with effort. It is an unusual natural phenomena to be able to communicate with other spiritual people mind to mind, it is not natural to hear a straight forward command come into a mind. It has happened to me the other morning. Someone said, “You will wake up early from now on.” It sounded like an order. I have made sure it wasn’t true, but is possible that many people have went crazy as they experience first attempts of the invaders to utilize their technology in them. That is why they say later that the devil told them to do it. The devil did tell them to do it, or one of his followers. This idea is one that I hope I am wrong about because, as Jesus told me once, most travels to our sky are friendly.
I went back into Revelation against last night and took another look. I found another level. This probably makes eight levels of understanding I have found so far. Amazing. Well last night I took another look at Jesus' phrase, nicholaitions and I realized that if I rearranged the words it could also be saying local satan or Icon of satan. Jesus himself labels the Nicholaitions as belonging to the Assembly of Satan. The most common Satan icon I can think of is a skull with horns, like the one I drew across the map of the American continent one night. It was three upside-down triangle symbols with horns, one large and flanked by two smaller symbols.
Wasn't Saddam using a similar symbol shaped in a triangle. I have written so much that I didn't put on the web that I forget what I shared with people and what I kept to myself. Since I don't remember, I think it is my job to put it all on again, all the symbols I found in Revelation and everything. Why not? I used to be afraid that I would reveal too much to the enemy. Now I doubt if there is anything I do that the enemy doesn’t know about.
11/6/05
I saw someone in the circle of light who I thought I would never see the other day. I was flabbergasted. Later I spoke to Jesus about it.
Jesus said, “No one who wants the light will be excluded from it.”
I think his voice was more stern then usual when he said it. Perhaps because so many of our human antics put people into layers like shelves on a wall. I guess he gets tired of our silly class systems.
11/7/05
Watched the movie The Matrix Reloaded again last night. I found that its premise was true, we are living on a stage that may exist only in our minds. Could the matrix be our mind, God's mind, the universal mind? Maybe so, but something has went terribly wrong at this corner of the universe and the same monster that plagues the characters in the movie, plague us? I have considered the idea. Could you tell if we had a warped computer directing our matrix dreams? Or if we were all asleep while our souls played out our destiny? Or if we were on a space ship bound for a new earth because we had already destroyed the old one? Ok, that last was just stuck in there for a good laugh.
Some of these ideas may be true because the angels may have tried to insert truth in to the movie. They have been trying to reach us in any way they can. Movies are a popular form of media entertainment. The movie explains a lot of the anomalies I have seen, such as people appearing, changing or disappearing.
What I learned that was most important is that we can beat the system just like they did in the Matrix. When we travel in the sky tunnel or gather in a circle of light or spread the light or prays around, we are also rewiring the program set for us. Remember the names spelled backwards and how they can reveal your station in life? To beat the program set upon us by this enemy, we need to step out and move around the programs perimeters. Traveling through the sky tunnel will show us other places and ways of life, broaden our base of knowledge, and confound the enemy. It is not in Satan's interest that we learn to join together in light and prayer or discover the true nature of his program.
Side note- Even though I speak of matrix minds and levels of dimensions and other areas beyond the normal, I still read Discover Magazine and search out the latest knowledge in science. It is like the flip of a coin, one flip and I can see beyond what we call reality, another flip and I know I stand on a cement sidewalk that can’t be denied. I walk a fine line, but I haven’t fallen off yet. I love to speculate and most of my writing is brainstorming towards what ever truth I can find, wherever it takes me.
The angels told me something the other night that gave me a jolt. They told me that “last time,” I didn't have Revelation to back me up. That may mean that at some level or time on earth Revelation wasn't included with the bible. This time around it gives us warning and knowledge. Like in the Matrix, we too may have been reloaded. This is another way of thinking of rebirth, whether the individual or as a species. The angels told me something else.
They said, "This time is final."
So we get it right this time, or else? I can't imagine the “or else.” Better to just start fixing it up by making our leaders put balance back into the systems. We are not too late, are we?
11/12/05
I read in the paper about GM’s possible fall. It doesn’t surprise many of us at all. I saw it coming and I am just a little person who can’t even buy a new GM auto or any other kind. But I saw what was happening to GM. My question is, why couldn’t they?
I watched as the decisions kept changing contrary to reality. While the world heated up with CO2 in the air, GM built big, big, big. They pushed the big stuff. Sure they are into other forms of energy for cars and are building them but they didn’t push them. They pushed big suvs and trucks and status cars, as if status is going to keep you alive when the earth catches fire.
How many people do you see hauling things in the big trucks they bought? Not many. The trucks are status symbols, the fact that they are big, well that’s just too bad for all of us. The people at the top of GM are not the only ones with blinders on, there are many people who believe they need big cars, big trucks, big houses, big bank accounts.
I say that the blinders are actually caused by the darkness that has pervaded our world, invaders who would disrupt and take it over. How? By doing exactly what it is doing, disrupting normal business associations. First a boom so that people get comfortable swimming in excess then a bust so people stand on a precipice. How will they decide? Will they cheat to stay on top? Or who’s throat should the organization cut and how many to keep it gaining in profit?
Of course, it is never put so plainly, even to ourselves. It is always rationalized because you must have a reason for pushing other people out of the way that will leave your conscience clear. The people inside Nazi Germany’s rational was, “It was a job.” or “I had to follow orders.”
So I predict that GM won’t go down. It will find some way to make other people pay for its own mistakes. This happens across the board all the time. The news media serves as a convent means of raising people’s fears just before a major decision. It is all a build up for what they will take away in the near future.
So who else will make a pact with the devil. Oh, that isn’t true, you yell. Well I have been thinking about just that for the last few days. It is a pact with the devil. It happens like this. The person or corporation is confronted with a serious decision. This decision will cause disruption for them or for someone else. Even though it will hurt a great many people, they stop, they consider, they stand on the edge. Then they act.
They have either bought into the realm of darkness or the realm of light depending on their decision. We will all be called on to make that decision before long. It is almost like a deliberate challenge from heaven. Are you with us or against. Do you wish to walk in the light or away from the light. Take your stand now.
11/13/05
I just learned something new last week, and it was confirmed in church this week. It is this: Jesus was speaking in code when he spoke parables. The code means to apply to us living in the last days. It may not be the final days of humans on earth but if we don’t change what Jesus warns us about, it may be our final days of freedom.
The first clue I got was thinking about the parable of the wedding feast where the host decides to invite the people off the street because the invited guests refuse to come.[look up specific verse] I understood the truth of this statement when I watch people stand up out of their wheel chairs and move towards the light. Then I went around calling many people comatose, sick, crippled, and lame. No one that could see the light, refused the light. All these people easily related to the feeling of being harnessed to a yolk that is not their own and that the light of God means freedom.
When I wrote the comments on each gospel I actually skipped over the parables thinking that they were stories that Jesus was using to get people’s attention. Now I know that I was wrong, they are stories but placed there for us in the future to read.
As I find each parable and learn to understand its true meaning I will write it here and on my new web site, www.dianemarietaylor.com
Today in church my understanding about Jesus parables was confirmed. I felt so great and frightening, I felt like crying. Great because I had found a new truth, frightening because I saw an image of the enemy being like an ameba with tentacles reaching into all phases of human life. A parasite so entwined into everyday events that it will be almost impossible to eradicate it. Perhaps cancer would best describe what we are facing as a species. The only radiation treatment that will work against it so far is God’s light.
The parable of the talents has been misread for almost two thousand years. It is not about talents at all but about money. And the money that is given and increased is today’s money. Jesus tells us that those who have much will get more and those who have little will be given less. This is exactly what has been going on world wide today, only specifically noticeable when it hit the west. Now we are noticing.
Many people have read this and thought Jesus meant the master in the parable to mean God. He did not. He meant the master to mean the enemy.. Father Thomas caught on to this and mentioned it in his sermon Sunday that this master wasn’t God. Just read how badly the master treats his servants, worse then we would treat a dog.
Wal-mart is
the best current example of what is going on around the globe in regards to
this parable. Those who have less are treated more like worthless servants and
those financiers who play with money are treated as worth great value. This is
going to happen all across the board. People will need to choose which side to
stand on. It happened in
I am going to begin reading what I skipped last time around, those parables to find more hidden messages. Perhaps if we know what is to happen, we will also know what to do about it. If we don’t do something, we will become like the angels tell me they became, subservient slaves for life, held in place with mind tools. I don’t want any of my grandchildren take part in such a world.
11/15/05
Tonight I was restless but was able to visit with Jesus and Y and go through the sky tunnel. I was surprised and pleased at the constant stream of people walking through the tunnel. One lady still had the image of a crutch with her. As I looked at her, it vanished. There is no need for crutches here, everyone walks, even if they don’t have legs.
I went through the tunnel with Jesus and Y and found myself standing on a ploughed farm field just as it began to rain. I saw people who looked just like us run towards a large farm house to get out of the rain. We followed more slowly so we could look around. The rain was light and pleasant and made the fields sparkle. I checked out the five or six cows. They looked like earth cows, but then I laughed, because how would I know? I know nothing about cows, or farms or what could have been growing in these fields. Wheat? I wasn't sure.
We then decided to go into the old farm house. It looked like a normal home you would find on a farm, older rather than modern, like in the fifties. A large wooden banister twisted up the narrow stairway to the upstairs. We had entered the kitchen with wooden cupboards and linoleum and walked towards the old fashioned living room. The first thing I saw when we entered the living room was the tall, twisting and turning spiral from floor to ceiling. It was hard to keep the eyes focused on it, for some reason. No people were evident in the house.
We assumed they had used the spiral to travel away somehow.
Y agreed with me. He said that this spiral looked the same as one we saw before in an wooden shack.
This house was much more extensive than the last one and seemed more livable. The strange spiral didn't fit here any more than it fit there.
I asked Jesus if this was the same planet that we had visited before that had a spiral. He said no.
Interesting, then people on different worlds must use the same technology.
This planet seems exactly like earth except I assumed that its continents would be shaped different. It turned out I was right because later Jesus gave us a view of the whole world from above.
Worlds just like earth seem abundant. I said so to Jesus and he agreed with my observation.
"But they are all inhabited." I added. What if we humans ever need to find a world to use? How would life evolve without people on it? How could it still be like earth?
I wondered if any world we went to would be as complex and potentially as disastrous as the one we inhabit now.
Jesus said to me, “All worlds have difficulties as their populations strive to evolve from physical into spiritual, not all worlds have Satan.”
Yes, I thought, we have Satan, the crooked false-god who has turned whole populations towards evil.
Jesus said, “If you need a new world, you will have it.”
I felt relief at his words because they meant that heaven will help us even though we don’t deserve it. We need to believe this is true.
After we walked out of the vacant farm house, we went to a few other places on the planet that Y wanted to check out. He has an agenda that is often different than my own and I am not sure what it involves.
I saw a stand of rocks and a beautiful round lake that I wanted to take a moment to enjoy, so I sat on the wet stones and grass near the shore. The agility I have when in spirit is wonderful compared to everyday life. So I was able to sit at the water's edge with ease. I love rounded rocks that have weathered thousands of storms and the process of the water as it buffs them into shape.
This was perfect. Dark water shaded by trees and a cloudy sky. I sat down and reached over to swirl my finger in the water. It made tiny ribbon ripples as if I were sitting on a rock at Belle Isle and playing with the water.
Then I felt startled. Am I solid? I looked at the rippled water. I looked up at where Jesus stood with Y.
“Not totally. You get better at it all the time.”
Fascinating. It means that I am simi-solid at times. Maybe someday I will learn how to be solid, but only when I choose. It would be disastrous to become solid in some of the places Jesus has taken me. Imagine becoming solid only to explode near a star?
Tonight I am too restless to travel long, so we leave. I do better in the morning when my body isn't so restless. Y has been patient with me and I thank him.
I had the sudden thought that I might be using up too much of Jesus' time. All the people walking through the sky tunnel had a right to his answers and companionship.
"I feel bad," I said to Jesus, "I am using up your time. Those other people need you too."
Jesus said, “I am infinite.”
In my mind then, I saw Jesus walking with each one of the people from the sky tunnel. How silly of me to inquire. I should have known. I already knew Jesus joined every circle of light. Every time we gather in a circle, Jesus isn't in the center, he is holding hands and drawing in the power with us. Once we find Jesus, we are never alone again.
Jesus has healed my leg. The angels asked me to try to do it myself, but I didn't do too well. It is hard to heal yourself. Jesus reached into my leg, squeezed my knee with his invisible hand of light, then lifted his hand out again. I could feel an immediate release of pain. Since then I have had a few muscle aches but I am told that this is normal because I had gotten out of shape over the long months; besides, I still have a touch of arthritis.
I am so thankful and hope to give back to other people all that I am given. If I have learned anything in this life by now, it should be to share because we are all one. At least, all of us who crave the light are one.
11/17/05
Tonight Jesus promised me I would find a few moments of delight when I read the parables. He knows me well and that nothing gives me more pleasure than to find a hidden truth. I can’t wait. It is this search for truth that spurs me on even though I am dismissed by the ‘learned’ people of religion. I love the truth where ever I can find and what better place than the New Testament.
We need to remember that Jesus knew that his words would be written. (actually since he is God’s son he can be here at the same time he is there, but that may too much philosophy for many to take in right now). At least almost everyone agrees that the writers were inspired and their hand guided by God. However we look at it, Jesus could very well have known what he wanted to say to us in the 21st century. Because he came from beyond our future, he knew our future, while we only suppose it.
He came because we destroyed ourselves in another time framed future. He died to prevent that from happening. We have yet to see if it worked.
A note on my comments on the gospels: I don’t mean to exclude any other interpretation of the bible when I write the truths I see. The reason is that the bible both Old and New Testament is built up in so many multiple layers that everyone can be potentially correct in their own interpretation. With this in mind, I turned to a list of parables from the New Testament.
And was delighted just as Jesus said I would be. The first parable I looked at was more or less easy to understand, what threw me was Jesus comments after it. He drew an invisible line directly from his own time to the 21st century.
Parable Matt. 13: 3-8, also Mark 4: 3-8, Luke 8:5-8[1]
Mat 13:3 And He spoke
to them many [things] in allegories [or, parables, and throughout book], saying:
"Listen! The one sowing went out to be sowing. [ALT]
Mat 13:4 "And in
his sowing, some [seed] fell beside the
road, and the birds came and devoured them.
[ALT]
Mat 13:5 "But
others fell on the rocky ground, where it did not have much soil, and
immediately it sprouted, because of it not having depth of soil. [ALT]
Mat 13:6 "But [the] sun having risen, it was scorched, and
because of it not having root, it withered.
[ALT]
Mat 13:7 "But
others fell on the thorns, and the thorns came up and choked them. [ALT]
Mat 13:8 "But
others fell on the good ground and began yielding fruit, some a hundred[fold] and some sixty[fold]
and some thirty[fold]. [ALT]
It makes good sense that the word of God falls on people differently. But I had to ask myself, how does it apply to us specifically in today’s world.
I took the word sowing and run it backwards to gniwos, these letters when rearranged read, I know or knows. Therefore, the item sowed in the parable was the ability to know. In the Catholic bible the word seed is used. When I run the words, some seed backwards I got dees, which could be, sees most, even sees most wise. Not sure of all this, but I have found that often a pivotal word can give multiple clues and meanings.
Actually, we knew this before. Everyone knows that Jesus was implying the seeds that were being dispersed were seeds of wisdom and insight. Jesus explains this to us himself when he refers to the seed as the word then tells us it is the evil one who snatches the word away.
My play with words just confirmed the same meaning with a different slant. But I caught a few nuisances that were interesting. I think implication of insight applies to the light from God that many of us are learning to see at this time. This becomes clearer later.
The path or hard road is the group of people who allow other people or the evil one to take away their insight.
The rocky ground (the backwards run didn’t make a lot of sense, know orgy score) had more words allotted to it as if it had more weight. I think Jesus meant this to mean the majority of people, that group of people who follow religion as a fad but loose it as soon as something better comes along.
The thorn means that group of people who refuse to see anything they can’t touch. They don’t believe in anything and are choked off at the very beginning.
The other insights that fell on good ground yielded fruit that multiplied.
Jesus next statements give us the purpose of the parables.
Mat 13:11 So answering,
He said to them, "To you* it has been given to know the secrets [or, mysteries] of the kingdom of the heavens,
but to those [ones] it has not been
given. [ALT]
This is when he states that:
Mat 13:12 "For
whoever has, [more] will be given to
him, and he will have an abundance; but whoever does not have, even what he has
will be taken from him. [ALT]
I
understood this immediately, not as abundant faith, but in a new way because it
coincides with the parable of the talents which is about money. What Jesus was
pointing to was this specific Republican Congress. Right or wrong, and for
various reasons that I won’t debate at this time, this congress has given more
tax breaks to the rich. This has been happening in the
Jesus adds further why he speaks to us in parables. It is because we “look but do not see and hear but do not listen or understand.” Matt 13:13
He is telling us that there is more to see out there than we can gather up with just our eyes, that we need to use our mind’s eye to understand it and that much truth is falling fallow on the majority of the population. He is implying that we all should be looking towards the Source for God’s light; that we should all learn to see with our both our mind and our eyes.
If all the parables I will be looking at reveal as much I am in for a few more delights. And Jesus said they will. I have a hint for those who like, like me, to delve into the bible for hidden truths, and it is that when a verse doubles its number like Matt 13:13 just did, it might have something more to say.
Matt 13:24-30.
Mat 13:24 Another
allegory He set before them, saying: "The kingdom of the heavens was
compared to a person sowing good seed in his field. [ALT]
Mat 13:25 "But
while the people are sleeping, his enemy came and sowed darnel [i.e. a weed resembling wheat] in the midst of
the wheat, and he went away. [ALT]
Mat 13:26 "So when
the stalk sprouted and yielded fruit, then the darnel appeared also. [ALT]
Mat 13:27 "So the
slaves of the landowner, having approached, said to him, 'Lord, you sowed good
seed in your field, did you not? So from where does it have darnel?' [ALT]
Mat 13:28 "So he
says to them, 'A person, an enemy, did this.' But the slaves said to him, 'So
do you want, having gone away, [that] we
will gather them up?' [ALT]
Mat 13:29 "But he
was saying, 'No, lest gathering up the darnel you* uproot the wheat with it. [ALT]
Mat 13:30 "'Allow
both to be growing together until the harvest, and at [the] time of the harvest I will say to the
reapers, "Gather up first the darnel and bind them into bundles to burn
it, but gather up the wheat into my barn."'" [ALT]
This one is also obvious. We know there are bad people among us, so what does it mean for us today? The terrorists who come at us like a never ending line of locusts? Certainly, but also many other people crave the dark side of life. Heaven is going to leave them here until it is time to harvest. This may give them the option for a possible reprieve at the last minute if they choose to take it because heaven is kind hearted.
I choose not to be among them. We are like on a magnet and being drawn towards opposite poles. One pole is light and the other dark. It almost reads as if the world is certain to have a nuclear conflagration because that is where the ones at the dark end of the magnet will end up. The people on the light end of the magnet will go to God’s shelter where it is safe.
Here Jesus blames the enemy for the bad weeds. He implies that we have a great enemy who keeps pushing and shoving and manipulating us until we turn towards its own idea of perfect existence, excessive wealth, power over little people, manipulation of all people, hidden agendas, secret means of force, a drive towards only material goods and knowledge, and every soul on the dark end of the magnet.
I can say that I have had much thrown at me lately, all kinds of writing of rational arguments against the idea of soul, in an attempt by the other side to turn me away from the light. I have found inconsistencies and narrow minded thinking in all of them. I believe all of our minds are quantum by nature and therefore unbounded by matter, though created from it. The whole is greater than the parts.
I like the phrase in the first line that says, “The kingdom of the heavens.” It implies multiple heavens which could mean many layers of spirit or many worlds or a combination of the two. It could also have been an error, but I don’t allow for too many errors because, in the bible, I think every word tells.
11/19/05
I saw an article in the paper about a computer for a $100.00. The inventors showed a prototype with a hand crank for power at the UN. They want to mass produce it for children in other countries. This was wonderful news and I am sure they will get the backing; a great many people are concerned about the state of the world’s children.
Today’s computer is the radio of yesterday. During WWII the radio and the messages received on it meant freedom for a lot of people. After the war it meant freedom for people behind the iron curtain or under severe dictatorships.
Today it is the computer we look to for freedom of speech and expression. This is the beauty of the world wide internet. We must strive to keep it free for everyone and encourage everyone to enter its domain. Free television, even with the commercials, has done a wonderful job of increasing our general knowledge.
Both television and the internet can be used for ill and has been, but so was the radio of yesterday. Anything humans do good, someone comes along and finds a way to turn it to bad, and vice versa. We manage through it all and will continue to do so, perhaps more splendidly than ever before.
The goal is to turn back those who would demean people or use them for their own ill gain. They have increased abundantly, but it is time to spread the light and either turn those bad ones towards good or send them running. It is time to take back what is ours.
And we need
to start here in
People are inventive, but have been blocked by big corporations and big pockets from realizing their ideas or getting them to market. The same with authors and artists of all stripes. Once money become the only value to strive for, other ideas have been shoved under the carpet. Such behavior in a population is a sign of stagnation, at least, and depravity in general.
We who gather in the light a few times a day can move the country to change by sharing the light with as many people as possible. A million of us might have been capable of turning a hurricane from our shore, a million of us with the same mind set might be capable of turning fearful leaders towards light and generosity. A million of us could help turn earth into the paradise Jesus spoke of before God even gets here. God may be expecting us to begin cleaning up the mess. We will begin by lighting up the world.
11/20/05
I went into the sky tunnel this morning before church, but didn’t go anyplace. I enjoyed nodding to other people as they walked down its length. I feel the tunnel is growing stronger with more solid roots held to the earth. The more people who use the tunnel, the more valid it will become. Jesus told me that even a few travelers from the universe might visit us. Most won’t. I suspect they are waiting for us to put our earth into greater order first. This idea also fits the next parable.
When I gathered in the circle of light and let the Source absorb through me and fill the space, I and a few others went to people who were bed-ridden and lifted them up so they too could walk in the sky tunnel.
How do we know who is willing to go? I don’t know. No one has ever refused yet. We lifted a few people up so they could see for themselves; next time they can walk the tunnel when they choose. This means that for five or ten minutes, anyone can escape the cage the enemy has set them in.
I saw an image that explains the situation to my horror. A world gripped by a dark fist with its fingers grabbing around the globe, but I also saw a fist made of light reach around and entwine between the dark fingers. As the light grew, the dark dissolved and dissipated away. This is what we must do for our earth, grow the light so strong that there will be no room for the dark to linger.
I almost cried during the gospel this morning. It hit me so beautiful because I had a sudden understanding of the allegory’s real inner workings. We have all heard it. Jesus said that when he was hungry and thirsty we took care of him. He was implying that each one of us contains a part of Jesus inside of ourselves or that our hearts will tell the truth.
I realized another truth as the gospel was read. The angels take a moment here and there to see out of a person’s eyes and what they see, Jesus sees. Once when I was being abused by another person I worked with, I felt Jesus, or one of his angels, looking out of my eyes at that person. This time it worked for my benefit, it can work against us too.
I remember a time when I had been stingy. A young boy stayed and stayed just before my family sat down to eat thanksgiving meal. I was worried about his own family not liking him eating at a different house on a holiday, so I didn’t invite him to eat. I still feel guilty about this. Now, I think Jesus may have been watching out of that boy’s eyes. But I hope that he also looked into my heart and saw that my motive was good, that I didn’t mean to slight him. Yet, how many times have I, or all of us, done stingy or mean things out of ignorance? Not a good excuse.
It was as if I relived a moment of that day and a few others. I asked Jesus to forgive me. He told me that I had been forgiven many years ago. He also said that neither he nor his angels judge a person quickly. I was thankful to hear that, though I have much to be ashamed of if I were to look too closely at my life. I don’t want to.
I wonder about fate. When Jesus sees us do something stingy and forgives us, does that mean that it has been taken care of? It could also mean that, though forgiven, we still must pay some kind of consequence in this life or in the next. Could that be where some of our misery comes from? Payback time for all those little neglectful, and miserly acts. I didn’t ask Jesus because I think I already know the answer. It seems natural that we should pay something for the hurts we cause other people, and a loving God would make sure of it so we could join him one day.
Parable of the
mustard seed
Mat 13:31 Another
allegory He set before them, saying: "The kingdom of the heavens is like a
grain of mustard [or, a mustard seed], which having taken, a person
sowed in his field,
Mat 13:32 which indeed
is smaller than all the seeds, but when it is grown is largest of the
vegetables. And it becomes a tree, with the result that the birds of the air
come and nest in its branches." [ALT]
A short parable, but I know what Jesus meant now. We all understand that God’s kingdom must grow on earth to become fruitful and large. But this parable says something else too. It tells us that after it has become that large, beautiful, and balanced earth the people from other stars will come to visit us.
Some have already, but perhaps the people who would walk the sky tunnel to get here, won’t until we prepare earth to receive such visitors. Obviously, the kingdom is all of us who follow the right road in what ever religion we have chosen.
Every time
I think I am not using the light strong enough, I see Mary above me to the
right. I call her Ava Mara. She doesn’t say anything and I only see her for a
moment, but it is enough. I remember the words she spoke, “The light is
infinite.” Suddenly, I am revived in spirit and feel the light grow stronger
until it flows from me like a gushing waterfall. Her words give me strength. I
am sure that she will give you help too anytime you need it. Just call on her.
Simple words, “Help
11/23/05
Mat 13:44 "Again, the kingdom of the heavens is like treasure hid in the field, which a person having found hid, and as a result of his joy, he goes, and all, as much as he has, he sells, and buys that field. [ALT]
Mat 13:45 "Again, the kingdom of the heavens is
like a person, a merchant, seeking precious pearls, [ALT]
Mat 13:46 who having found one very valuable pearl,
having gone away, has sold all, as much as he has, and bought it. [ALT]
What I especially love about the ALT bible is the translations are supposed to be most accurate. This can be vital at times as in the parables quoted above. There is a large difference between the kingdom of heavens (plural) the kingdom of heaven and the kingdom. The kingdom of heavens gives a person the idea of many heavens (worlds or universes) swirling around God. I think of it as the millions of world in our universe and also the worlds that have joined God's armada. I think both ideas are true.
The meaning of the parable of the treasure in the field was elusive for a few minutes but then I got it. The real truth is hidden and when you finally find that truth you are so amazed you are forever changed. I am writing this truth all the time in my notes. The parable of the pearl makes the same kind of sense. That valuable pearl is truth. The truth can be exotic or mundane, but it establishes a beachhead in your mind and won't let go. A mundane truth could be that you finally see the connection of actions and punishment or you are confronted with the hells or you realize the connections that exist between everything. The first blossoms of truth can sweep us up in joy. After you have found that single pearl, more follow, as if dropped as a deliberate path. And yes, the joy is so great that you will live or die to gather in more because they are not jewels for the neck but pearls of wisdom.
Mat 13:47 "Again, the kingdom of the heavens is like to a dragnet having been cast into the sea, and having gathered together [fish] of every kind, [ALT]
Mat 13:48 which, when it was filled, when they dragged [it] up again on the beach, and having sat down, they gathered the good [fish] into containers, but they threw out the rotten [fish]. [ALT]
Mat 13:49 "In this manner it will be at the conclusion of the age. The angels will go out and will separate the evil [ones] out of [the] midst of the righteous [ones] [ALT]
Mat 13:50 and will throw them into the furnace of fire [or,
the fiery furnace]. In that place [there] will be weeping and
gnashing of teeth!" [ALT]
This parable is easy to understand but is the most scary. It will be easy to separate the evil ones from the general population because if you look down on the people of earth as walking within a white fog sent by God, the darker elements stand out like spots of moving dirt. The angels will go around gathering up the dark spots and take them away.
I have watched this happen myself. I looked down as the angels used a net made out of light that grabbed a few dark forms, picked them up, and set them to the side until later. This is what Jesus mean by a dragnet. The dark forms cannot escape through the lighted net and they become caught like fish.
What will happen to them later? I don't know. Even I couldn’t throw dark forms into the sun so maybe they will be put on Venus or some other planet where they can build bombs to throw at each other? Like I said, I don’t know. But their fate must mirror Jesus’ words just as the net of light he described that will capture them. All I know is that I don't intend to be one of them dead fish caught up in the net.
11/24/05
I woke up upset this Thanksgiving morning and I don’t want to stay that way so decided to use writing to push the upset away. The reason I feel upset is because of a person I met yesterday at Eastern Market, a large lady, a citizen of the US, a lady who wore a nice coat with a heavy scarf and hat, a lady who… more on the lady later.
If I were God I would make a joke on everyone by turning the values we hold dear upside-down. I would decree that for every dollar you own you will suffer in hell for one minute. But any dollar you have given away to a person in need will erase a minute of debt. Now let me see, how many minutes would a millionaire spend in hell? Or the board members of a corporation that makes 10 billion dollars a year in profit? Or like the oil companies, 30 billion this last year. The minutes would convert into years. Not a pleasant joke after all.
The reason
I woke up angry was because of the lady I had met, the news about homeless in
By doing the job that Jesus gave me, by writing. What does it mean for inches of snow to fall on the ground, ice to blow in the wind, and flakes to cover a person who must stand or walk in the cold for twelve hours or more? The chill reaches into the bones and the wet eventually dampens feet that are soon covered in icy slush, the face red beneath the hat, the breath running cold into the blood?
What it means is that this person does not have a place of warmth in which they can enter to eat and sleep. They can’t huddle next to a heating grate to relieve the chill or wiggle between a thick blankets. That person may need to keep walking just to stay alive or find a drink to warm the body.
The lady I met is a citizen of the
What responsibility does the government of the
Other people would be of the opinion that every life has worth no matter its circumstances. Jesus would be the first to agree with this sentiment--he was the first. So, not only as groups who stand for the light or against the light, we must stand on one side or another as a nation. Does this nation believe in the value of life or not? If so, then we would build shelters for people who can not get or keep a job. Or as a nation, we would insure that the jobs were plentiful, if that is impossible, then a nation that followed God would provide for a person’s basic needs of shelter, food and warmth.
We do, you argue, we have welfare. Well, sort of. For families raising children who can’t do anything else. We used to have more help for more people, so much that it was taken advantage of by some. This flaw gave everyone the excuse to stop the hand out, not just for greedy people, but for everyone. But keep in mind, if a greedy person on ground level cheats about the food they need, they might rob the system of a few hundred dollars in a year. If a greedy person on the top level of our nation cheats, they are cheating us of millions and billions. Who is living the greatest flaw? And don’t you think that God and Jesus and the angels know the difference?
The problem is that many people don’t. They don’t believe in God or that Jesus can see into your heart. Not only that but he can see what you do as if a movie were showing in heaven about your life. Jesus was telling the truth when he told us that every hair on our head was counted, that every sin was counted and balanced. The world has always known this to be true. Even the Egyptians knew that God would measure a souls weight in good or bad deeds.
Our age doesn’t believe this enough, if we did our world and nation would be more generous with its own citizens. I would be more generous. That is my guilt coming out. What could I do for that lady. She may have been cheating, she may have had a nursing home she came from, or needed to buy a drink, or just wanted a few dollars and I looked like a likely hit. She may also have needed to find a shelter as she said. I offered to take her to one but she said she’d take a bus because Cots was already full. So I got change and gave her a few dollars. I felt like offering her a warm couch to sleep on. But I didn’t dare. I live in a dangerous world where it is hard trust a stranger. My imagination shut my conscience down while we drove to the store for change.
I gave her what I could and I think it was enough. But was it? Is that what this writing is about? My own feeling of guilt? Yes, but now I feel relieved because I have told the world of it. I also feel better because I use my ability to talk with Jesus and write to the advantage of those who can’t. I have no way of asking our government to provide more shelters, but I do have the means of asking the people who read this to make choices that will change the situation. What else can I do? What else can any of us do? I thank you God for my warm bed and a kitchen stocked with food and a job so I can keep going. Thank you.
11/27/05
Yesterday I stopped at a tattered tire store on Forrest at Chane because my front tire was going flat. While sitting there waiting for the man to put air in it, I noticed a sign painted on a empty truck bed the store uses for storage. The message gave me a pleasant feeling. It was called the Million More Movement:
The whole objection is not to build a church, mosque, or synagogue, but to build a community of people so that not the walls are consecrated to God but human beings will be a consecrated house, a temple with the indwelling space of the Living God.
It turned out that I didn’t need to buy a tire. I asked the man if the sign belonged to the Tire Store and he said yes. Then I asked him what the name of the store was because I saw no sign. He told me it was News Real Patrol. I laughed. That is the most unusual name I have ever come across for any store. But the man saved me money and I thank him. I felt rewarded for my effort to buy within the city.
I need to repeat what Father Thomas said in his sermon this morning. I can’t quote him exactly but he talked about how the light easily goes through cracks and that sometimes we need those cracks in order to find God. We all have cracks but some of us have thick armor and the cracks are the only way the light can shine through. Sometimes it takes a severe problem to turn us towards God for help. For that reason, we can be thankful for those cracks.
After church, I went the recreation hall as usual for coffee. This is where breakfast is served to the homeless men and women who fill the back rows of the service. Many of them come from the Salvation Army or straight off the streets. Sometimes when I shake their hand while saying, Peace of Christ,” I catch a cold hand or two; although, they are supposed to be early to get a free meal.
While I was sitting and talking to friends, I noticed a tall young man take a seat across at another table. It was obvious he had just gotten a free meal with other homeless. But as I watched, he closed his eyes and began to mumble. His head bobbed up and down a few times. After about a minute of this, he begin to eat hungrily.
This young man put me to shame because I have often forgotten to say grace before a meal. I felt drawn to him for his earnest faith. I went over to speak to him and dared to ask him a few questions. He didn’t mind my questions. I learned that his name is Roosevelt Antonio Robinson. He told me he is not homeless, that he has a small job with Gallagher Security, and that his refrigerator is broke and he can’t afford to get it fixed right now.
I was happy to learn that he wasn’t homeless and that he had a job, but he was shoving that food in like there would not be any more for a long while. I didn’t know what else I could do, so I thanked him for the information. I told him about the time I received a bag of food from a shelter that I am still grateful.
As I write
this I realize that I had lived one of those cracks Father talked about in the
sermon. That it may have taken a crack or two in order for the light to finally
shine into me. But some people’s cracks have grown into caverns. They need a
lot of help. I pray for that young man, but I believe God is looking down on
his plight. It is wonderful that
Jesus repeated something he’d told me before during church while we held hands and sang the Lords Prayer. I was helping the light expand when Jesus said, “These people already have the light.” I felt beautiful to be part of such a group.
11/27/05
It is
amazing where you will find those who walk towards the light. I saw a beautiful
saying on the side of a parked truck hauler the other day. I stopped to buy a
tire at a run down shop on
Million More Movement, the whole objective is not to build a church, mosque, or synagogue but to build a community of people so that not the walls are consecrated to God but human beings will be a consecrated house, a temple with the indwelling spirit of the living God.
As I sat there waiting for my tire to get fixed I read the saying and found it a beautiful statement of togetherness.
I probably should say something about how wonderful and joyful I believe the world to be even though I see a lot of darkness. I see the darkness for a purpose and that purpose is to explain the truth to other people. Yet, no matter what my circumstances I can always find joy in simple things. I look at the sky at any time of the day and feel delighted in its blue, gray, cloudy, or orange beauty, a weed covered in snow and feel its magnificence give my soul a lift, or a smile from a homeless person sitting in the back of the church, a person with little to smile about except that God loves them too. With all my complaints of darkness, a darkness we can’t see and hardly explain, there is great light and more to treasure on our earth than we can ever know.
11/28/05
I am delighted. A few months ago I saw a rabbit hop across the grass lot on the side of my house, and last night while pulling away in the car, I saw a possum. I couldn’t believe it. A possum in the heart of the city. I am ready to put food out to encourage it to stick around. Next will I see a deer in the corn field? Yes, we do have corn fields, though few and far between.
I notice lately that I have been feeling a touch of anger, perhaps at the plight of some of the poorest people. Last night I gave a man a dollar to pour oil in my car and still feel guilty about it. I should have given him more but I didn’t have but a few. As I was pulling away, another man went up to him with a ragged and torn coat on and playfully tried to get the dollar. I felt like crying later when I thought about it. Over a single, simple dollar.
What kind of desperation is this? These men were
not drunk nor in any way strange. They have been shoved down into the ground by
circumstances and lack of jobs in
Back to the anger, well deserved, at times. Yet, it isn’t good for the head. It gives an opening to the evil one if a person were to allow the anger to get to severe. That is what is causing much of the problems in the world. Whether the anger is deserved or not, if we act on that anger, it is usually the wrong move and improves nothing. When the light flows from my center during meditation this morning, the anger will leave. Perhaps it will be replaced with some kind of solution. I can write, that is all I have.
Even if I
held on to the anger, where or to whom would I send it. I could blame the
government but only eleven percent of the population is in poverty. This must
be why the government doesn’t do enough for us in
Note-I just learned that a women with five children, most in high school, can’t get help with heat bills because she is working three days a week, my guess is she probably makes about $8.00 or less an hour. I was taken aback at her plight. It never used to be that way. Doesn’t welfare help mothers with low income any more? It used to be that if you had children, you received a good amount of food stamps and other support. Where has all the support gone? Never mind saying that her high school children should find a job. What job? There are no jobs left in the city. The oldest girl graduated last spring and still isn’t working. So move out of the city, but who can afford to pay the higher rent? I pray for all of us.