4/1/07
Jesus' image filled the whole front of the church this morning during mass. His face glowed with light, his eyes smiled, and his white garment disappeared at the edges. He wore a red cloak that ran diagonal across his chest that reminded me of a painting of the Sacred Heart. At times, his supernatural presence hovered above all the people in the church.
I felt comfortable at seeing Jesus, but other people didn't seem to notice, yet, most of the people kneeling around me were as pious and felt as deep a love for Jesus, I do. I felt bothered by this, so asked Jesus about it.
His answer was, "It is what you were born to do."
This pleased me because I understood the purpose from our other talks. I am meant as an example of how all of us can relate to heaven. I think it is a matter of faith rather than genes. If we believe we can see Jesus or walk in the sky, then we have taken the first step to getting there.
Still thinking of the pious people around me, I said, “You must truly love the people at this mass. Is it their holiness that brings you to hover here today?”
Jesus answered, “I am present like this in every church this morning.” Then he added, probably so I wouldn’t get his message mixed up, “I am present at every mass and at any service done in my name.”
He told me something else about the people sitting around me, but my first inclination was that I’d better not write it. "No one would understand," I told Jesus, but Jesus told me I should write it anyway. “This is all about teaching."
Conflicting or not, I write it here: Jesus said, “Many people sitting here now were at my crucifixion.”
Jesus words brought to mind the statement we all know from the bible, “The first will be last….” I thought of the words the priest had just read from Luke about many of Jesus followers walking in sorrow behind him as he was carried the cross. (it gives me sorrow even to write about this) He meant that these were the people who followed him, the ones who loved him even as he hung as a criminal.
I have known for many years that I was at the cross. The agony of it still causes me pain, which is why I try to avoid services during holy week. Every year I forget the passion is read on Palm Sunday, so must suffer through it once more. We all do, as we should. We must keep what Jesus did for us in the forefront, even through it hurts. If it wasn't for Jesus’ suffering and death on the cross, the darkness of this world would have consumed us all long ago.
Jesus said in the garden just before they took him, "Darkness comes." All those of us who follow him and celebrate in his name can learn to overcome the darkness. His name is magic in this land of dark Oz I was reminded of this when the priest read Jesus words that always makes my heart thump with love, “…the very stones would speak.” At the very least, let me be one of those stones.
Earlier, when I woke up this morning, as I sat sipping coffee before getting ready for mass, I felt out of sorts, and far from heaven. A warning bell rang in my inner ear. I wasn’t sure why. I have been meditating with the rosary most days and I met with Jesus on the mountain just yesterday morning. After thinking for a while, I realized that my problem was neglect. I have been working a lot, watching movies, and more television than usual. I had gotten so busy that I forgot to have a personal talk with Jesus. Relief at knowing what the problem was made me smile, also because the problem was so easily fixed. Right then, I closed my eyes, relaxed and began to think about something to talk about with Jesus, something to ask him.
As I meditated, I thought of the wrongness going on in the world and the lost souls who had been on my mind of late. I thought about how people's minds are being used and tricked by evil, how we are like clay in its hands unless our faith is so strong we can see to pull away. This enemy pushes some people to murder and others to greed that deprives people of jobs and homes. It holds some people in an earthly hell and others pushes to the top if they prove corruptible. It would force people to its own mold.
Mary was with Jesus this morning. It was Mary who answered me.
She said, “That is the difference between us.”
Mary meant that heaven calls gently to us while the other side tries to push and dominates our actions. The drive to riches is one of its most obvious of evil’s molds that we all fall into, but there are many subtle ones that we hardly never notice like sneaking a bad idea in between good ones.
I thought of the paradise worlds. Places where everyone is kind to other life, where no one would think of harming anyone. These worlds are where the saints reside. They love us so much, that instead of allowing their own paradise life to be full of bliss, they spend their time sending their minds out to aid those of us who beg for help. They have escaped the evil one’s clutches and constantly support us so we can do the same. Jesus and all of heaven constantly works for our benefit by trying to rescue us from the entrapment and blindness of this dark earth. They would show us the way into heaven.
At Mary's words and presence, a great feeling of love that poured through me from heaven. I sighed, and felt beautiful. Yes, beautiful in soul, mind and body. I was now revived and felt great. I thanked both Jesus and Mary for putting up with me. The smile I received in turn makes me glow even now as I write this. I have received so much. I will never let Jesus or Mary down. How could I ever?
This might be a good time to explain that most of the time, Jesus and Mary are not actually appearing to me. They were present with me in a spiritual body or mind as they spoke. I can feel their presence, but not see them, something like mind to mind communication, but not quite. Their presence gives off a holiness that can't be ignored which makes their presence feel different from mental communication with another human being.
Jesus’ appearance in church later at mass was different than when we spoke in my home. Jesus truly appeared to be present, though ghostlike. Somehow, he can be a million places at once. Mary too, I am sure. I always feel Mary's presence during the meetings of the Legion of Mary. This is usually a mental presence, rather than actual, except at the first meeting I went to. At that time, Mary appeared as a glowing spiritual light in front of her own statue. The outer fringe of the vision was hard to hold on to, but the center of the vision was filled with a bundle of white roses that radiated with inner light. Mary has been close on my mind every since.
Now, I am thinking of writing a
book or small pamphlet about Mary for non-Catholics. I feel pressed to share
her promises to us with all people and put it language they can understand
easily. When Mary appeared to the children at
She, more than any other heavenly being, has stepped down from heaven often to prove to us that heaven truly exists and that we need to pray more. I suspect it took extreme effort for her to enter earth's dark sphere, to shine heaven light into this vast orb of darkness. Mary seems to go all out to teach us with visual clues. She pleads with us to love her son. Pleading with us to understand, to wake up, and to pray.
I remember seeing magazine photos
of a enormous, white indistinct image of Mary holding the infant Jesus while
she hovered above a cathedral in
4/2/07
Jesus took me to a new world today. We walked through the sky tunnel and I, as usual, rubbed my hand over the smooth mahogany finish inside as I admired the twists and turns of the limbs and knots that created the huge openings that run along the tree’s side. Plants grow inside and birds fly while the sky and stars glisten through the openings.
We walked to the end. Formally, probably because I am always in a hurry, the end has always been blank and dark to me. This day it was filled with tree leaves and sunlight as if we were standing at the bottom and looking up into a tree top. There was a mass of limbs going every which way.
Jesus said, “You could think of the limbs as infinite trails leading to every part of the universe.”
Actually, I know we use our mind to go where we choose, but I thought the limbs could be like coordinates and Jesus agreed with me. He said that the mind could use such coordinates to select exactly where they wanted to go.
I just followed Jesus because he knew what he wanted to show me. It is a world much like our own with war and strife and darkness. We stood in front of a wooden structure surrounded by grass and trees. We went inside and the first thing I noticed as we stood in a room surrounded by openings was the person who walked past us and into one of the rooms.
He had gray/white skin and such narrow arms and legs they were stick like. The person’s larger elbows and knees seemed like knots of wood. His head was almost human but his face seemed strange. I looked closer and noticed that he had sort of a muzzle. Everything else was human normal, five fingers, two eyes, a nose and two ears. It is a form that is repeated over and over in the universe on earth like worlds. I wondered if his species could have once been human, but changed over time. Not sure if this is true and I didn’t think to ask Jesus.
Jesus motioned for me to follow the man into the room. The room he entered was different from the rest of the house I’d seen which was sparse of furniture. This room was cluttered with objects set on shelves that rose like steps. I recognized it immediately as a place of worship because it had ornaments, intricately carved in red and black surrounded by a ring of burning candles. The room glittered in red and gold pieces backed by gauze drapes. A statue in the man’s own form and wearing a tunic stood in an alcove above on a shelf. The man had bowed down to the ground and with bent knees, lay in a prostrate position with his arms in front. I heard the man murmur words as he stayed in the stretched out position.
After a few minutes, the man got up and left the room. We followed him to another area of the house which had more furniture. Jesus explained to me that the other members of his family would go into the room and do the same because this was their morning ritual and they were about to begin their day.
We followed the man and stepped out of the house with him, and I was amazed at the sky line from this point of view. Ultra modern buildings rose high up into the sky with narrow curved scarves or something running down their length. The man made a sound, a car came and stopped next to him, he stepped into it and I was surprised when it whizzed away and up into the sky.
Jesus told me that this world had three main prophets that the people worshiped and still fought over. We went into the city and hovered over a hoard of people acting distraught. Actually a mob shouting in between murmurs when they bowed down then rose up again. They kept moving forward at each shout.
They didn’t look as well groomed as the first man. Where his hair had been long and reddish brown, these people’s hair was darker and matted, their clothing was disheveled and torn. Some people acted oddly, beyond the crowd. We went further into the city and I saw groups of small children huddled against their mothers. It wasn’t a good scene.
Then Jesus took me to the night side where large groups were at battle stations. The dark sky lit up with sparkles which I assumed was artillery fire.
Jesus explained that the first person we saw had been in an upper class and the other people in the large crowds were at the bottom. Most of their wars were fought over religious differences. He added that darkness surrounded their psychics just it does on earth.
Their technology is comparable to earths. Back in the first house, we watched as one member of the family watched a round object that Jesus told me was a television.
He said, “They prefer roundness in their designs.”
Everywhere I looked this proved true. The furniture bore this idea out with curved table tops and rounded couches, still, it wasn’t too dissimilar to earth furniture. I asked if they had space travel and Jesus answered in the negative. He said they have radio just as we do and that we could probably contact this world if we tried.
Back in the city again, we went to a large building with huge, red intricately carved statues sitting near stone steps. The building’s design included curved, black and red detail on the corners that reminded me of a Chinese pagoda. Many people were going up steps into this building to worship.
This is where I got tired and needed to leave. With everything so new, it tires my mind. I felt bad for the people who were so consumed by darkness and hate that they had allowed poverty and war. Seeing the faults of another world makes our own dumb actions look even more dumb.
Jesus said, “This world is like earth in darkness, but it is not as complicated.”
Jesus has explained to me before that earth’s variation and complexity make helping us incredibly difficult. He said that heaven is working on the social problems on the world he just showed me, and there was good hope for a solution.
4/4/07
I am beginning to notice that when I keep the light around myself, it protects me as if I were saying a prayer. That is why monks nuns used to pray all day. I need to do the same or get better at remembering to keep the light envelope around me.
It is important to stay vigilant, most especially for people like myself who are trying to work for God or searching out knowledge of wrongness. No matter when I look back at my own life, I see interference from something, and the need to question what this means hangs heavy in me. Is this also true for other people? I am sure it must be, but to what extent? We are all manipulated now and again by this dark force beyond our ability to understand. It is my hope to understand it better and write my findings in a book, probably fiction because who would believe it as fact?
The old testament shows God as the one who determines fates. But I don't believe this at all. God is always good and something else is at play when things turn horribly and definitely bad. On the paradise worlds where God is a constant presence, there is no darkness or bad times. On the New Earth Jesus showed me, there is no strife or evil at all because they are constantly surrounded by the envelope of God.
4/6/07
I went to St. Hyacinth for Good Friday services. Most of the service is in Polish and since I know even less about polish than I do about Latin this pleased me. I sat in the back under dim lighting almost alone and felt comfortable to be with Jesus. The stations of the Cross were in English so I suffered through them with only a few tears. But at their end, when the organist began singing “The Old Rugged Cross,” I lost it. I began crying so hard I couldn’t stop until the song was finished.
After the song, I reflected during the rosary that it had been good for me to cry. It felt like a purge of emotions that shored me up to go on. I spoke with Jesus and asked him what I could do for him.
He said to me, “Just keep writing.”
I promised to keep writing. I also meditated on Jesus pain and looked around the world at our own pain. I cried again. Jesus said that because of our love for him and our reverence on this day, a number of children will be healed of their burn wounds and cancer pain. Heaven will do this because of our celebration of Good Friday and Jesus suffering. Because Jesus suffered such great pain, he will tell his angels to heal as many children as possible of their pain today. Thank you Lord Jesus.
4/10/07
I found a new twist in the battle against evil this morning while saying the rosary. I was silently praying as I listened to the tape when I began to wonder who needed prayer the most or what area held the darkest place on earth. I let my mind roam over the land questing for some area with the darkest or most needful minds. How could I ever know? I couldn't, but with my mind still on the idea of darkness, I thought about the ocean which must obviously hold the darkest areas on the planet and went there.
With my mind filled with a search for the darkest place as I entered the ocean, I was met by a whale who seemed to sense what I was looking for. I followed the whale to a dark rift deep in the floor of the ocean. Once there, I began to spread as much inner light as I could, all the time sinking further and further down. I didn’t know what I would find, and in truth, didn’t find anything that I know of but darker darkness; regardless, I sent out feelings of love and healing. I believe a few whales have listened to Jesus and are spreading his teaching through the ocean just as we are spreading it above on land.
On my way out of the depths, I got the impression that many whales and dolphins have tried to build psychic barriers against what is down there. I can't speak with whales and dolphins so I don't feel absolutely sure of what I write here; it is just a feeling. Maybe I am trying to put the blame on a specific place or thing instead face up to our own faults. I accept this as a possibility also. Yet, if there is something beneath the sea that interferes with us or needs our help, we would all do well to concentrate a lot of prayers in that darkest of directions, just in case.
It seems to me I remember Jesus saying something about the sea in his warnings. I looked it up and all I could find was Luke 21:25 "… nations will be in dismay, perplexed by the roaring of the sea and the waves." Maybe what the whale tried to show me, but I couldn't see, was some kind of flaw in the ocean?
This morning when I began to pray the rosary, I felt incredibly spiritual, which isn't always the case. I think that my heightened spirituality led me on this search and called out to the whale. I think that what ever it is that sits in the darkest area on earth, our prayers are needed. If the problem is a physical flaw, could any volume of prayers fix it? Maybe so. I don’t know, and after all this speculation, I might know even less now than before.
I told my friend Y about it and he will ask people to spread light deep into in the ocean depths. The Buddhists have proven that energy from very spiritual people can change the arrangement of molecules. So if we could light up enough souls, the potential could move a mountain—and might need to.
I will keep going back because we need to try whatever works. I try to teach people what it is I see happening. I believe that something or someone who can talk into our minds is taunting people towards suicide and murder. Unless we can understand what is going on, such a voice is hard to resist because we are too unfamiliar and innocent to fend off this kind of penetrating persuasion.
Knowing what is going on can save us. The God I know would ever ask us to do harm to another person under any circumstances. Heaven demands nothing from us, but waits patiently for us to understand. I am constantly amazed at the patience Jesus and Mary have for my faults.
4/12/07
I felt upset last night to see an advertisement for the dish network offering a $100.00 rebate for fast internet. They offer a $100.00 rebate for the Dish Satellite too but I have been trying to get mine for three months. I've been given first one excuse and then another. Sent it in twice, faxed the information in to their office, called and did everything I could to get that rebate because I planned on paying only $20.00 a month for the first ten months. I reasoned this low cost would help me pay for it through the summer months when I only work two days a week. Now I am told that I don't qualify because of some technical mistake? Everyone I talked to when I first agreed to order Dish told me I would get the rebate. I write this as a warning so new customers will not expect too much.
On the other hand, these extra channels have opened up a vast amount of information to me that I didn't have before. I keep learning tidbits about the evil one's antics from the History and Discovery channels as well as other odd programs. I am learning how it worked on us in the past and I am getting hints about which human minds it controls and drives at the present time. I am most concerned about the central source, but the more we know about all the traits and habits of the enemy, the better we can protect or save ourselves from it.
Someone I know told me that this enemy has been around for two thousand years. Yes, it probably has been around that long. I am sure Jesus saw it’s ship fall from the sky, but also, just as Jesus predicted, its days are numbered. In fact, I think those numbers are run out and are slated to end in our time.
This seems an odd statement to make after Jesus telling us that "We can't save your world." I keep thinking he meant that maybe he couldn't, but we could if we work on the problem collectively. Also, his statement from the bible, "The first will be last…" has a number of possible meanings. We may have been first, and are now last, but last for what? The end of the world, or a new era for disaster? The choice may be up to us. We and all our world is moving to a cliff edge. It may be up to us whether we slide gently over it of fall off. Jesus may have promised better times if we try hard enough.
Jesus’ complete statement is, "The first will be last and the last will be first." This may mean that we, first then last and first again people, may be the first to step off our world in spirit, the first to run the world without any evil, the first to bring in the new order of things, or the first to leave the others behind. The last option is unacceptable to heaven and most of us, so we need to work harder to ensure it doesn't happen. I need to change too, but am uncertain exactly what more I should do. I think pray more? Send out the light more? Yes, that and keep writing.
4/14/07
It is Saturday but I went to mass anyway to show my support for the people who came to march and pray for women who chose an abortion. The Catholic church does wonders for children in schools and hospitals all around the globe, so if anyone has the right to march for this cause, they do. I didn’t follow to the abortion clinic because I wanted to go home and write about my meeting with Jesus during church this morning.
I waited until after the priest said the sermon, and then, as is usual for me on any Saturday morning, I sent my mind to the spring lush mountain filled with wild flowers and streams running past large boulders to meet with Jesus. Other people, a large number wearing every kind of clothing, had already gathered. We joined in a big circle and aimed our own feeble light into the center. There it exploded in intensity as if God had breathed his large awesome breath upon us. For a short-lived second, I felt powerful enough to enlighten every soul in the world.
We all knew
at once that those of us from
My friend Y told me that groups from the different countries were doing the same. Each group will walk across their own respective country to spread the light. I thought about how perfect this idea was because each group knows their own people best.
During my walk across the center of the states, I saw the ghost image of a whale in the far distance. I think the whale had sent his mind out to let me know that it too was sending out light to its ocean family. I can't say for sure, but this seems reasonable to me.
We began
our walk on the East Coast. I stayed, more or less, in line with
I whispered into her ear "Go home," and was surprised when she answered me. She said, “I have no home.” I thought of Convent House, a place that takes in homeless kids. I mentioned it by name, but also told her that her mother was worried about her. I had an image of an older women fretting about her daughter. I repeated my statement, “Go home.”
I next went to a number of adult men who looked very well dressed as if they were high in business. To each of them I said, “Live the light.”
A few
times, I was interrupted by the mass, but I found that I could flow in and out
of my meditation easily. Besides, Jesus was by my side as I walked across
I went to a number of people, but the one I remember most was the little baby crying. It was very tiny as if it was only weeks old. It lay alone, its skin still wrinkled from birth, blankets strewn off its arms and legs. Circling around the baby, as if it were part of its environment, was the impression of self indulgence and misery. Sadly, I reached down to the baby and kissed it on the soft cheek, then I went looking for its mom. She was laying on an old couch in another room, bare walls and furniture in disarray. She acted as if she was just waking up.
I enclosed my arms around her in a bear hug and said. "Your baby needs you.”
She listened for a moment and went in and picked the baby up and began to rock it back and forth. I hugged both mother and baby and sent as much light energy into them as I could.
Thinking of this baby who's blanket seemed dingy, I remembered our purpose in church this Saturday, to pray for an end to abortions. I thought of the great needs out in the world for spiritual, material and emotional help and wished I could do more. Many people are desperate and don't know where to turn for help. I thought about that young mother and wondered if she or her boyfriend were on dope. Their circumstances fit the pattern, ragged and un-kept, but severe poverty can do that too. Regardless, I had felt soul damage in the house and prayed again for the mother and her little baby.
I also stepped out of the church and sent light into the neighborhoods nearby. At this point the angels spoke to encourage me. They said that I was doing ok, that my light was penetrating many souls. I took a moment to check on a former street man who I contacted months ago while at church. He now volunteers to help other people. I went to him to encourage him as the angels do for me. He knew I came to visit and smiled. I also went to a broken young girl who can’t yet walk, but who is trying hard. I encouraged her to keep up the effort.
I was unusually busy during church this morning and broke off for communion. While I knelt at the alter, I noticed the Devine Mercy painting. I felt a wave of pleasant warmth because I put that same image on my internet home page. Yes, Jesus sends his divine mercy down to all of us. I also wonder if I should take the blinking eye off. Maybe it should go, but it is the first animation I ever did and it symbolizes the third eye, that inner eye that flows from the mind. I guess I will leave it on for a while longer.
4/18/07
Oh, my God, I pray for the mothers of these children at Virginia Tech as they wait for news, or even worse, receive it. How will they face Mother’s Day in two weeks? What can my prayers accomplish after such a tragedy? I don’t know. Please help us, Jesus and Mary.
I also
think about our reaction to this horror and how
I feel deep sympathy for Soung-Hui’s parents. Surly, they are now blaming themselves for this angry and disturbed young man’s actions, but we parents are often helpless too. What can any of us do when our son’s and daughters choose to go bad?
Soung-Hui was a wanna-be terrorist. Although he probably kept it to himself, he wanted to be an ax for Islam. That is what the phrase meant that was painted in red on his arm, “Ismael ax.” Ismael ax is easy to define. It means Ishma el ax or ax for God. In Hebrew Ishma means God will hear. El means God. Ax means ax blade. Ishma was the son who Abraham sent away. It is the son who Arabs consider their link to Abraham in the bible.
This angry young Hui searched out a name to relate to his feelings of being sent away to college? Or he wanted to join the Islamic fight against the west because it would serve as an outlet for hate? Or, he was given this name by the evil one who spoke to him, the same evil one that is speaking to other people and driving, not only them towards terrorism, but most of us toward greed. So once more I ask Mary to have pity on us and Jesus to help us. We need it.
I will give what I can, charity or prayer, just please help me understand what I am to do.
4/20/07
This morning I decided I needed to meditate in silence for a while. I haven’t visited the Cathedral of Light for months and felt the need to walk through its holy atmosphere. It exists on the angel world but leaks into our own. It as a nexus where heaven and earth can coexist.
I stood on a stone path surrounded by green decided to go into the center of the cathedral first. In the center are four alters arraigned into a three dimensional Mandala. For those spiritual enough to walk its path, it will transport you to another world that fits you perfectly as if you’d been measured by God.
Next I went to the giant, smiling Buddha statue that reaches almost to the top of the cathedral. From there I went to see the wall with the living Koran for a moment. The beautiful Arabic writing constantly moves across the page but in opposite directions than I am used to. I can’t understand any part of it but that is ok, its awesomeness speaks for itself and takes the breath away.
For some reason, I felt like visiting a sample of many religions. The next one I visited was the wing that the whales use. As you stand here, it looks and feels as you are standing at the bottom of a bright and sunny ocean. The whale’s body often looks like a huge shadows over head. When I bring a young child to the cathedral, this is the place I take them to and the whales and dolphins always come closer to greet them. I have neglected this lately, not sure why.
Next, I
visited the large statue of Jesus holding his arms out as if to enclose the world.
It reminds me of the statue in
What ever religions symbol anyone needs can be found in the Cathedral of Light. If you think something important is missing, the angels will supply it for you. I haven’t looked, but I am sure there are bibles and other religious works in every language here as well. But the purpose of the Cathedral of Light is to visit, to use our visual imagination, to enter the realm of the angels, to encounter God in a vivid sense, to bathe the souls with light.
I saved the purpose of this visit for last. I walked up to Mary’s statue amid roses of every color. I sat on the stone bench in front. She is always here in person if someone needs her and this morning was no exception. She smiled at me and handed me a white rose. White for peace. I placed it in my heart and felt it melt away hurt and pain. A feeling of great peace encompassed me. I thanked Mary deeply.
I then thought a few people who I love and worry about until their spirits or essence stood before Mary. With her inspiration, I gave each person a different colored flower before they disappeared again.
Then I looked and noticed a much older man with dark hair and face use crutches to walk down the path to Mary’s bench.
I told him, “You don’t need crutches here.”
He smiled at me and shrugged as if he realized it was silly too. The crutches disappeared. I realized then that I knew him from years ago. He took the yellow flower I handed him. Next, a lady, bent over by age, came and sat on the bench. She mumbled prayers to Mary. I gave her a white flower. I think that every one who comes here gets the color of rose that fits their soul’s need for the moment. If I am not here, you can pick your own heart rose.
Mary has said she will give aid to every one who comes here. but she has also told me, “It is more important to heal souls, than to heal the body.”
So I go for comfort and a feeling of well being and pureness.
This Cathedral of Light is a gift from the angels to us. It is a place where we can take our mind for refuge from the wiles of the world, a holy place, a place that is forever spring, forever filled with life and beauty. The gift is free. We need only close our eyes to walk its path.
If our world were to end, ( and all of heaven is working hard to prevent such an event), people will be divided into two camps. Those who can step off the world and those who can’t. The people who can step off the world will be those who are used to looking up to heaven, those who crave to know the stars, those who are used to asking for heaven’s help.
The other group will be those people who are most concerned with earthly things. Perhaps those who are afraid of space and stars, afraid to venture forth into realms of the mind. Those who can only accept facts and proofs as real, even though everything, facts and non-facts, are only constructs in the mind of God. The only thing that truly exists is soul, as if each soul were a glowing ember from the living God. If it is our soul embers that share with God the experience of our multiple and varied life. No wonder God loves us so dearly. We are part of God’s essence. We are worth preserving. We will preserve.
4/21/07
This morning when I met with Jesus on the mountain I saw that many more people stood around waiting to begin the circle of light. I was walking with Jesus when a group reached out to touch him. He stood aside, lifted his arms in a loving gesture but shook his head at them. He didn’t want any adoration. In fact, he went to higher ground and spoke, “Lead yourself. You must be the leaders.” He added, “You know what to do.”
We all nodded in agreement. Then he said, “The purpose of the circle is to show that no one is superior to anyone else. No one stands in the center and no leader stands on the circle.”
We understood what he was trying to tell us. He is teaching us to work together without regard to higher and lower status. With this in mind, we gathered into a number of circles to begin. Some circles were three deep, some were single, but everyone stood however they chose. Some people held hands, and some people raised their hands as we began to feel the inner light flow out of our bodies into the center of our circle.
I stood next to Jesus with my arms slightly raised towards the center because sometimes this helps me feel the light and direct it towards the center. I saw Mary step down from heaven as if from an invisible bubble to the ground. She glowed brightly as she joined the circle next to our own and I thought that she, of all heavenly beings, didn’t need to enhance the light from God. But of course, she did this for us, to encourage our efforts. I was amazed right then because more people stepped down from heaven to join other circles, as if heaven was about to sit down on earth.
Each of us in the circle sent our inner light into the center until the light of God intensified immensely. The feeling of light that flows back onto us is truly pleasurable, as if each of us were not charged with the light of heaven. The flow of light is so powerful that it circles the globe even without our conscious act. In less than a second, the blue world we call earth hung beneath a luminous bubble of God’s light.
At this point, we broke up and went to our own countries to spread the light and the message of love. At times, I would pray for a specific individual and, at other times, I chose to send feelings of love to broad areas or groups of people.
I went to a
few children in the hospital. A few had cancer. I put my hand on one little
girl, and with Jesus help, I think she was cured or helped. Another child in
Looking towards the west, I noticed the whale in the distance. It seemed to float above the clouds as we completed our walk. I think it was showing us that it was doing the same thing in the ocean. I wondered if there could be as much strife in the ocean as out of it. Somehow I doubt it.
At the
finish, those of us in
I forgot,
but some other time, I hope to go back to the dark place again in the ocean or
the darkest places on the globe if there is one. This day, during the walk
across
My inability to focus is usual and I no longer get into a panic about it. The whole idea is to keep moving steadily along. When I first began I was lucky to stay focused for even one minute. Regardless, every moment we keep up the effort is valuable. I believe that the effort to share God’s light with other souls feeds our own soul as well. I thanked Jesus and Mary and the other people from heaven for their help. I thank all of the people who dare use their mind to meet on the mountain.
4/22/07
Our messages got crossed this week and I didn’t go out with the Legion, so I decided to write something here about Mary instead. I am not sure what to write because I have written so much before. I have recently searched through the church’s Catholic encyclopedia on the web to see if I could learn more about Mary. I didn’t learn much that was new to me, except that there is a technical difference between the type of prayer Catholics say to Mary verses the type of prayer they say to God. God is worshiped, Mary is hyper-prayed to and the saints are just prayed to. Kind of silly, if you ask me.
I am still thinking of writing a book for non-Catholics about Mary. I have decided to keep it people orientated and easy to read. Also, I will put in the book the reason I pray to Mary, and why I think other people need to pray to her. I will probably publish the book on the web, another reason to keep it small and easy to read.
I’ll look back in my notes so I can tell people once again some of the things Mary has said to me. I do this now with Jesus’ words, but writing about Mary’s words will be harder because she does not say much. Yet, everything she has said was ripe with meaning.
For instance, Mary has told me a number of times, “It is more important to heal the soul than the body.”
This gives us much food for thought. What exactly does this mean and how are we supposed to understand it. I tend to forget this sometimes when I argue that we must give people aid. Charity is important too, but I need to admit that feeding the soul is paramount. I think my idea is that easing a person’s pain, sometimes pain of poverty, will also ease a person towards feeling grateful to God. I may be wrong.
How can we feed the soul, heal another person’s soul? I don’t know. I remember how Jesus called me back to him. Every once in a while, I would get a hint of amazement, such as, “Wow, Jesus said that in the bible about light.? I began to feel Jesus teaching me. When I gave something small to another person, and I would get it back again. If I learned to be extraordinarly kind to someone hateful, I seemed to receive blessings from on high. No money fell from heaven, but I was rewarded, just the same. This is why I came to believe that we must give assistance when ever we can. I think of the whole world as filled with children, and children understand God’s love through their parents love by receiving. Sometimes people can only see the goodness that rains down from heaven by receiving.
I will never forget the time, in
the seventy’s when my family was so lacking in food, my husband had to go to
Crossroads to get a bag of free bread and canned goods. Desperate because I
didn’t know where our next dollar was coming from, I cried when he brought in
those bags of food. Months later, I was driving by the
It was hard for me to write that check because I had a lot of places to put $10.00, but I wrote it anyway. Then as I waited too long in line, I got exasperated and almost left. Something told me to stay (Jesus I know now) and I finally asked at the window. “Do I need to wait so long just to give you a check?”
The receptionist smiled and let me give her the check right away. I went home feeling superior and worthy. I was only 30 and except for taking collections for Muscular Dystrophy once, I am embarrassed to admit that I had never written a check for charity before. It felt good. I know now that this was my first step towards feeling great empathy for the suffering of other people. I didn’t know it at the time, but Jesus was leading me through trials in life to teach me to be his friend.
It is for this reason, the need to ease the pain and suffering in the world that I try to give when I am confronted with need. Maybe I should read the sayings of the Buddha once more. He taught us how to escape or ease pain. He was exactly right. Yet, if another person’s pain causes your own pain, then something must be done. I certainly believe Mary when she tells me how desperately our souls need to be fed. I only ask her to please show me the way to doing that. I would help heaven in any way they ask.
4/26/07
I read an excellent article that we all need to pay attention to in the Free Press Tuesday by Bart Stupak. After writing proof that we have been and are being gouged by gas companies, he informs us that the FTC is powerless to persecute gas gougers because there is no federal law against it. "ExxonMobil posted $40 billion in profits, the greatest profit of any corporation ever." The other two Chevron and ConocolPhillips both posted $17 and $15 billion. The CEO of ExxonMobil is retiring on $400 million. Bart suggests that if the market were truly dictating prices, how could these gasoline companies make such a huge profit?
I'd like to know too. I'd like to know how anyone, no matter what their status, could continue to pull in millions while so many other people pull in little or nothing? And we call this civilization. I'd like to know how these top-heavy people will explain themselves when the other countries run out of oil or fall under the blade of global warming? I'd like to know why the average person can't buy a small electric car? Or, why no one has written a regulation on excess profit? We need a common sense ceiling on wealth or a strong dose of shame.
That would be going too far, you say? The market should determine price as it always has? Fine, except that the market is killing many of us, shattering many of our pockets and gouging the crack wider that separates the nations. If we intend to save ourselves, we'd better start making unusual, unlikable and unhappy changes soon.
The bill is only a small start, but the legislation authorized by Bart Stupak to force the FTC to write a workable definition of gas price gouging needs to be pushed through congress. Sometimes I think we all act like children playing a games in kindergarten. Maybe you disagree, but at least help the push to set up a regulation that might prevent a few children from further destroying the room—earth.
4/28/07
This morning I couldn’t sleep so got up extremely early and decided to meet with Jesus on the mountain. To my surprise the mountain was already filled with people. I keep forgetting that time is different on the mountain than it is in normal life because the mountain exists in its own time frame. The light within and without of me because exceedingly strong this morning and I suspect this had something to do with my early start. The enemy was caught off guard and didn’t have time to throw a block to dampen my effort. I stayed keenly focused during the whole time. God’s light blazed forth like a torch of liberty.
All of us
on the mountain because strong, glowing beacons of love as we went into the
depths of the
From there we moved to our respective countries to walk God’s light over the surface to feed souls with enlightenment because this is the purpose of the light. It not only transforms us but brightens up our surroundings. As our blindness lifts, the darkness and its minions are revealed. More and more we see the troubles brewing from the dark waterfall that rides through us like a river, but are able to step out of its path.
Something went very right this morning, our effectiveness is not in doubt.. I saw God wrap his arms around all of us on earth for a short second. I saw in God’s love a promise of how earth could be, and will be some day. The more I see the minor, subtle attacks against myself and all of us, the more I know that the enemy has taken note, is reacting to our effort around the world, and is trying fighting back. A good sign that proves the enemy feels the light’s sting. If we keep up the good, hard work, we will transform the planet along with its social systems. It is a heady feeling to have such power given by God in the center of each of us, such power that when spread out over the whole planet, it can potentially light up every soul. It is this lessen that needs to be pushed, that together we build, apart we crash.
4/29/07
Last night
I watched a program about St. Louis-Marie de Montfort who did all he could to
bring people to God. Besides taking care of the sick and helping the poor, he also
carved in wood and wrote popular plays to touch the souls of people in 1700’s
As I viewed this great man, I contemplated on my own life and wondered what more I could do. It seems to me that I am not doing enough to help people.
Just then Jesus spoke. He said, “You are doing exactly what you should do.”
His words brought me a smile of happiness. There is no better complement I could receive. Who ever we are, if we have found that one thing that coincides with heaven’s direction, we have found true happiness. Knowing what heaven needs is knowing where to go in life because only those in heaven can see the truth. Their point of view sees what best for us humans. Their vision penetrates the shroud of darkness we live in to show us the path out.
I use “they” for all people in heaven because I believe that all people from there, whether Jesus, Mary, angels or saints have the same hope for people of earth. They think alike because they are enwrapped by God’s. Naturally, they hold the same views as God. If they do not, they are not of heaven, but on a dark world like our own.
I think we in the Legion should do all we can to emulate Louis-Marie de Montfort’s work. What better way to bring God to people than through ways they understand, but each generation must find how best to teach to its people. We must assist the whole person back to God by whatever means we have at our disposal, by whatever it takes.
The
children at
The thought this makes me cry. If I can’t bare the thought of it, I know that Mary can’t. We must do all we can to turn souls towards heaven. If we are not our brother’s keeper, we should be, as Father Corapi said last night on television. We are our brothers and sisters keepers. It is up to us to see that others turn their hope towards heaven.
4/29/07
I noticed something odd during the second reading in church today. Revelation 9:14-19 hit me like a brick. Why hadn’t I noticed this before? At one time I was all over Revelation, searching it in circles of sets and numbers, running it forward and even backwards, yet I missed this. I came home and checked the Catholic bible and the Analytical-literal Translation I have on my computer. They all said nearly the same.
Rev 7:16:17 (My underline)
The reading in the church book read: “Never again shall they know hunger or thirst nor shall the sun or its heat beat down on them, for the Lamb on the throne will Shepard them.”
The New American Bible for Catholics reads: “They will not hunger or thirst anymore, nor will the sun or any heat strike them, for the Lamb who is in the center of the throne will shepherd them.”
The Analytical-Literal Translation bible reads: "They will not hunger [any] longer, nor by any means will they thirst [any] longer, nor will the sun fall [fig., beat down] on them, nor any heat.” Rev 7: 17 "Because the Lamb, the [One] in [the] center of the throne, will shepherd them and will lead them to fountains of waters of life, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes."
They all agree on one thing: The sun will beat and strike down the people. What happened to the gentle rays of the sun that flow down to nurture the plants and give us warmth. Why do the people need to be rescued from our own sun, a sun that beats down and strikes at them. Is the sun what Jesus will rescue the survivors from?
Is this a hint that our earth will
over-heat dramatically? Did
I also want to mention the choir this Sunday during 9:30 mass. The heavenly organ and voices reminded me of the purpose of music during mass, to lift up our spirits so we can visit with God.