1/5/08
This morning when I met Jesus on the mountain, I was surprised to see that all of the people I had labeled with letters were there as well. This group has grown so large I more or less stopped writing about my system of substituting letters for people’s names. Actually, most of the time I never learn a person’s name anyway. Well, it is enough to say that the mountain was crowded with people this morning willing to pray in unison with God.
I walked around and nodded to many people and they did the same. One person I hadn’t met before stopped my progress with his holiness. He was wearing the red robe of a Buddhist monk, was very aged, and I am sure his mind holds great wisdom. I felt awed by his aura and asked him if I could hug him. He agreed that I could.
As a group, we gathered God’s energy inside ourselves before we left for our respective countries to spread God’s light. When we use this energy, it seems to us as if it is flowing out from our center but actually it flows out from all around our bodies. When I see the light beam out in front of me, I am actually spreading light for miles in every direction. Of course, this is done in spirit as I pray the rosary.
This morning I couldn’t help thinking of the little two year old who was on the news video. A man was shown stomping and kicking him in a store, (Since I read the article, the man has been found and sent to court), I wanted to pray for that boy and the man who abused him.
I suspect the man was on drugs. I began to pray for all people who are on drugs. At one point, I went into a crack house and sat down as I prayed and spread God’s golden energy to fill up the rooms. There were children in this house. It seemed to take a while, but finally the mother got up and took the children out of there.
I liked the
effect so did this in a few other homes in
I was feeling a slight anger at what the environment of drugs can do to children. They are faced with looking up to someone in authority and never being certain of what to expect next from them. No matter that they do well or not, they never know when they will get praised or blamed. This state of uncertainty must have a horrible effect on a young mind. I can’t bare the thought. To me such a situation seem almost as bad as a child with cancer, a social cancer but just as incurable.
I used to think that drugs should be legalized to get rid of the money/crime angle. I had forgotten how the evil one takes over such people’s minds and uses them. The money is just part of the problem, the larger problem is the potential to loose all sense of conscience or goodness.
Much of the blame is our lack of direction and goals. Young and old alike seem lost in a never-never land of worthlessness where everything lacks importance.. I have Jesus to thank for giving me a goal that makes me feel worthy. I would suggest that everyone run to church to save themselves, but this doesn’t grab at everyone the same. Some people seem able to sit even inside a church and stay oblique to God's essence.
So what is it that we need? What do the kids need? A closer bond with God, for sure, but often this takes a full life of experience before we learn of this need. Someday we may have a space corps that will keep young people busy and actively directed. But until then, what goals can we give the kids? So far the only one our society seems to give them is one of greed. Grow rich and famous is the mantra of the media. Can’t we do better? Can’t we direct kids towards a worthy goal, even a holy one?
Some of us are doing this. We are calling a few children to step beyond earth, to visit with angels for training, to see the earth as a whole body of life that needs to be preserved. It is our hope that they will spread this view as they grow in numbers. Everyone has a job to do for heaven, if we could but find it out before it becomes too late. This is what the new age really means, that each person is invited to grow in spirit, to reshape the earth, to aim for higher goals, to contribute our unique gifts for the well being of everyone. We have become one huge world and now we must pray like one.
I got off the subject of today’s prayer session around the earth. But this morning I centered my prayers on those who seem to need God the most, the people on drugs. At the same time I wondered if my prayers were wasted. Can even God save these people who are so far gone to the other side? It seems hopeless, but I hope not.
Lately, I have been seeing the light I send out as transparent squares that spread outwards to sink into the earth and over it as they tumble through people. I am ever visually inventive and wonder if I can put this into a painting? The light still looks like large waves as on a pond of water when I try to cover a very large area such as the American continent.
I am writing too much because I forgot that I was cutting back a little. No one wants to read too much on a web page, not even me. All of us who met on the mountain, met again at the end of a half hour of prayer. Together we spread the light around this round earth of ours, under the ground, and up into space. Surly, God sees his energy surround the planet. Surly God smiles his encouragement. And surly, one day God will complement our feeble attempt with the fullness with love ever-present.
1/7/8
Ah this morning’s rosary was wonderful. I sort of rebelled and didn’t want to take the time to say it at first. I felt jaded and pushed with a lot to do today. It seems no matter how many days I get off work, it is never enough to accomplish enough art or writing. The problem is laziness or under-the-weather-ness and other excuses which adds up to a misuse of time. It takes a lot of thought to be creative and then extra time to accomplish. I ask myself why I haven't moved on to art that is less representational? Art needs to be developed and I haven’t worked hard or often enough to become proficient. I intend to do so from now on with both painting and writing.
Ok, back to the rosary. Because I felt so tarnished and jaded and out of sorts this morning, I knew I needed extra help. During the first ten prayers of the rosary I kept trying to climb up to God, to reach heights beyond the mix-max of the dirty city, to fly beyond the dark that weights us down. I needed God this morning, and knew it. I needed God’s golden love to fill every pore, run through every vein. I needed to soak and bask in golden hues of the real stuff. I did reach these heights. Filled with God's light, I felt holy and clean, clean enough to bring the light back down to earth to this earth-tarnished body. I was reminded of what Jesus said many times, “You need to do it yourselves.” This is exactly what was going on this morning. As my tape of the nuns said the rosary, enlightened now, I sent a blast of light as far as I could reach and then the most amazing thing happened. My spiritual self turned into a huge rose that kept expanding in size until it covered the whole metro area and beyond. The transparent rose even reached down below ground as it kept expanding and growing and flowering over world. I felt giddy with joy and purpose.
Sometimes I wonder what I am doing here in this dying city and maybe the rose was the answer. Maybe my being here has a purpose that God wants. Maybe a certain reach of light is needed in this place of despair that only I can shine. Maybe I am needed here, so here I will stay, by necessity but maybe also for a purpose that is beyond my ability to know. I no longer feel tarnished but beautiful. I look forward to the day.
1/8/08
As I lay in bed last night slow to fall sleep, I thought about the world and our struggles to achieve status. At the very least, we all want nice homes, money in the bank, food in the refrigerator, friends, and good neighbors. Many of us want more in the sense of large sums of money or powerful jobs. All these different potentials ran through my mind and I wondered what it was all about. Which item should we ideally strive for in this multiplicity of wants and needs.
I wondered what I wanted most from it all and decided creativity was my most important goal. I want to evolve into a better artist and writer. Of course, I didn't want to forget the soul in this mix. It must be important too.
Suddenly Jesus spoke to me. He said, “Soul is the only thing that is important.”
I felt a little jarred by his words and thought about what he said. I remembered another time when I said that it felt as if we were all living in a vast computer game. Jesus spoke abruptly then too, with a tinge of anger to say, “Diane, this is not a game. Souls are at stake.”
So this item that we can’t see or feel or touch but can only surmise its existence is truly the most important thing in our lives. This soul that most humans refuse to admit exists. All else is only a means to lay out food for the soul. All our works of building up cities, dams, countries, all our personal jobs and drives, all our suffering and pain and joy reduces to a single meaning—the means to grow in soul.
How can this be?
Today, a number of philosophers and even a few scientists agree that everything we know, see, feel, touch, or imagine exists only in the mind of a superior spirit. It is another way of saying that it is all in the mind of God. Without mind, nothing exists. Therefore, I envision our nature, our existence, our soul to a synapses firing in God’s mind. Only God and our substance-less souls have true validity in the universe. We are blips in the mind of God, a wave blip of light, a blip of thought. Also, with a blink of will, God could as easily un-think us!
This soul we can’t seem to find turns out to be the most valuable treasure we will ever have. A treasure that will carry us until the universe reverses or winks out. I feel treasured this moment to know that I have this soul and that it is loved. This is why I will continue to write and pray. I choose to be a conduit for God’s love, to help give other people a sense of the treasure within—our glorious, everlasting soul.
1/14/07
I felt as if God has been calling me to come to him. For a short second one day last month, I did suddenly join God, but later couldn’t remember how I did it. Lately, I remembered God’s call and wanted to go to him once more, but I still couldn’t remember how.
When I mentioned this urge to Jesus, he told me to just go. This didn't seem very helpful, at first until I realized I was holding myself back. I think I felt hesitant about leaving earth.
During my next meditation, a voice spoke out of a golden mist to assure me that I need not worry on that point.
God said, “You will have more power.”
He meant that if I join him I would have more power to use here on earth. I found God's words to be true this morning. I took Jesus advise and remembered that God is golden. I walked to the edge of God's golden fountain.
This time I imagined the fountain as more spread out as if God filled the whole of space. There, I stood with God. I basked in his golden warmth. My spirit felt absorbed, saturated with love. Filled with God's power, I turned my eyes back down towards earth.
Suddenly, a bright beam of light cut into the city where I live, then spread out from there. I imagined a blister, a boil of deception, pain and anger bubbling at this node in the center of the city. I sent the beam directly into its maw. Bright light penetrated like a sharp laser cutting away at the disease that plagues the city. The beam hardened and went further and deeper. I imagined the beam as if healing a canker sore running deep under the skin.
As I watched, the corruption melted
away, and new, pink flesh took its place. I kept my aim for most of the rosary,
then broadened the beam to move on and light up the whole
At one point, we had all joined into a circle this morning, but they must have also lifted up to God. Then Y explained to me that a few of them have been doing so for a while. As usual, I am the one who is late, but better late then never, I thought, as I joined them in using this great gift from heaven.
Strong, powerful beams of white-gold spread around the whole of earth this day. I noticed at least five of us sending down these beams. There may have been more people doing so who I didn't see.
Once again I was reminded of Jesus words, “You need to do it yourself.”
During this time, I also went to a few people and noticed that the light was greatly intensified as it flowed from the center of my own body. I looked at the people and knew what Jesus meant by us doing it ourselves. We have a greater push against people’s sins because we are of the people. We can persuade, prod, or push people past their free will stance with great ability. We humans have the right to use as much force as we can gather to persuade other humans to turn around and look at God.
I am guessing here, but I believe that heaven can’t or won’t do this, this is why it is up to us. We must do most of our own work, even though heaven will help when it can. Jesus and the angels don't have a magic wand to wave over our heads, or if Jesus does, he won’t use it. Such use would be contrary to God’s laws on free will.
1/17/08
Anyone who reads my writing knows that I am into imagery big time, it must be the artist in me. Father Ward’s sermon at Wednesday's evening mass put an image in my mind I couldn’t get out for days. He spoke eloquently of the Holy Spirit and went on to suggest that we need to create a bowl of our soul, like we’d make a bowl made of tin foil, as an invite for the Holy Spirit.
I loved his sermon and was determined to remember what he said so I could write about it. Alas, I have already forgotten most of it, except for the tin-foil bowl. He said that; although the Holy Spirit is a gift, we can still make ourselves open to it. He spoke of three things we could do to make our soul receptive to the Holy Spirit. I don’t know if I can remember all three. I think one was atonement, and the other simplicity in life, but I definitely remember the last one was that we should put solitude back into our lives.
The call to solitude was easy for me to remember because there are times when it is extremely hard for me to acquire. I have a problem with noise in my neighborhood, not noisy kids or laughter, but music. I never thought that the radio would become a curse, but it has for many people. This minute I can’t help but hear a loud radio blaring from across the street. It has been on since I got home from work at 4:00. It is now 11:00 at night and it still screams at me through my walls.
Talk about an invasion of privacy. Yes, I did call the police and 911 and the person’s sister who didn’t have his phone number. The person who lives there hasn’t been home all evening. Is it an accident? I would like to think so, but I have had a lot of trouble with his music in the past. All I can do is turn on my television or my own music to drown it out. Ah, for some of that solitude Father Ward talked about. I guess if I had means I could escape. Well, I will accept that I suffer for God. For some reason, I think God wants me here, so here I will stay.
1/18/08
This morning was beautiful and effective. I met with Jesus on the mountain this Friday and sat down by a running stream. As soon as I did, the others came to join us. (By other people, I mean those I used to label with letters so I could write about them. I tend to forget who belongs to what letter, so I have curbed the practice for now).
With Jesus among us, we all sat or stood in a loose circle and talked of how we choose pray as a group this day.
Our final idea was that the most effective prayers were those that came directly from God. That we should each go directly to God, bask in his golden radiance, then send this radiance towards earth.
Wonderful idea. I walked up to God and bathed in his golden glory while the tape played the rosary. It felt so good to my body and soul that I didn't want to turn my thoughts towards bad earth. I wanted to stay there forever, a naughty-earth-born fish swimming in a golden pond.
When I thought that I must leave to go back down to spread God's light, God said, "You can pray from here.”
Amazed that I could, I did. As I
swam in God’s evanescent light, I poured liquid light from a golden kettle down
upon the earth. The first stream of light I poured down was unto the city of
I poured like a madman, giddy with delight, gold light all over the American continent. I didn't forget to send God's gold into the caverns of the future either. I suspect that is where many people dwell who are hurting badly. I noticed that, for some unknown reason, unlike most people, the people in the future can see the golden prayers flow and pour upon them. They seem to relish every drop and beg for more. Many cried.
I also made sure to pour God’s
light all over
Next I poured gold onto
By the time I had completed the
whole continent and came back to pour more of God’s energy into
And now I feel that I glow with health too. the sun is shinning brightly on this frigid winter day to remind us that spring will come back soon. Minds will continue to heal, hope will fill the land, and maybe even prosperity for the people who got passed by the last time around. Yes, hope does spring eternal in the human heart, though I forgot who said it. With God in our corner there is always hope.
1/19/08
On this
sunny, cold morning, a much larger group because it is Saturday, gathered
together to pray and meditate. Once again I went up to God and basked in his
golden energy. Again I carried a golden kettle by its two handles and began
pouring out God’s infinite energy. My mind thickened the light energy until it
looked like heavy, yellow honey pouring down upon the cities and people of
First I
poured it onto the city of
The angels
helped me complete this throughout
The caverns are empty of people today, but not in one potential future, such a horrible future as we can hardly imagine. They seem more accepting of the need for God then we who swim up above in excessive material wealth.
In all, this morning was grand. I wonder how greater it would be if I could pray all day, but I can't. My limit seems to be about a half hour at a time. I think this is true for most of us, at least with intense prayer or meditation. It takes great concentration to join with God and pour out his energy. I write about one specific group who meets mentally, but all prayers from everyone and everywhere help to light up the world. Eventually, God's light will be strong enough to dissipate the darkness. One day we may all walk in God's light as we go about the business of living every day.
1/20/08
It was 11 degrees out this morning before 9:30 mass so I decided I didn't want to go out into the neighborhood to hand out church invitations or rosaries after church. Those of us in the Legion of Mary do this most weeks. Instead, I told Mary I would write something for her.
I sat in church and thought and worried about what I should write.
Mary assured me by saying, “You will know.”
Although the rosary is a prayer to God, Jesus, and Mary, we associate it with Mary most because the prayer is about Mary agreeing to carry Jesus in her womb. Also, because Mary has made promises over the centuries to save us if we say the rosary, we believe it has a cleansing effect for any person, family or home in which it is prayed. I have found that if the rosary is used during meditation, the words of the prayers float into the psychics of many people and that the rosary might even begin to change the attitude of whole cities, and nations.
I set aside the slight guilt I felt
about staying home easily enough. I admit that my real purpose in following the
Legion's practice of going into the neighborhood is different than theirs. My
purpose is to give away as many rosaries as possible, to give a rosary to every
person willing to accept one. We in the Legion try to give each person a
pamphlet and a quick explanation on how to say the rosary, but for some one
unfamiliar with prayer beads or Mary, explanations often fall on death ears.
Some people want the rosary for a necklace to hand around the neck. This motive
doesn’t bother me too much, although it might many people. I have an inside
reason for wanting to flood
One day, Mary will appear above the city or somewhere within the city. She will wear a white garment and will hold a rosary in her hand. Mary has told me this is her plan. On that day, those people who have a rosary thrown in the back of a drawer or lost in the car cushions will avidly search them out. They will want to retrieve them from every discarded corner and beg to learn how to pray with the beads. They will be proud to own a rosary just like the one held by the beautiful, glowing Lady.
Mary has told me a number of times that it is more important to heal the mind than the physical body. Her appearance will heal the spiritual mind of many people. We all know that the mind and body are entwined together, so when the mind heals, many people will experience a healing of their physical ailments too.
I have known that Mary intends to
appear for a while now but hesitated to write of it because pre-knowledge gives
the dark enemy warning. Mankind’s enemy will try to prevent Mary’s appearance.
This happened at
Mary tells me that there is nothing the enemy can do to stop her this time either. She will prevail because we greatly need the inspiration she will bring to all of us. I have not been told when this will occur. I don’t need to be told, I just know it will happen one day. In the meantime, I will continue doing the job that heaven has given me to do, write, pray and hand out rosaries.
1/26/08
So many people met on the mountain this morning, they were uncountable. I am sure there was a hundred, at least. But no matter how many people are there, the angels always out number us. They work with us to pour out the light. It is something like doubling a gift, the more we do for ourselves, the more the angels are able to do for us.
This morning I went among the people for a moment and one person felt that they didn’t know how.
The person asked “What if I don’t feel the light pour out of my center.”
I told the person that it didn’t matter. That the light energy is always shared with all of us gathered.
I went up to God’s realm and basked in the golden aura and came back. Other people had did the same just before we joined in a circle. It was as if we were triply energized. The word ‘energized’ makes me laugh because I think of the energizer bunny lighting up a whole city. I like the image and think it is appropriate to what we do as well. So I kept it in the writing.
As we all gathered into a circle the light flowed around us and then it was as if God stood in our midst. Golden light flowed over all of us. Those who did know how to step up to God’s realm or send out the light from their centers were now glowing in as much energy as any of us. Now every one of us could each go out into the world and spread light around.
One person
I spoke to usually makes a special effort to go to
This
morning I poured out golden light from God’s kettle of holiness into the
I did this
over the whole
I thought as I imagined this that the only purpose was to feed souls with God’s love. The light causes no specific change. It asks for nothing. It demands nothing. It is non specific in those who’s soul it feeds with its touch. It does not cause prosperity, nor does it build any specific ego or wish. The purpose of pouring out liquid light is to pour the love of God into everyone. Let the people decide whether their souls can accept this love, let goodness pervade the land, let our own conscience tells us we need to do better. This is the purpose of the light whose source is endless.
At the end, we all gathered once more and spread the energy like waves upon a pond throughout the world and under the world and over the world.
Later, I thought about how I had rose up to join God in his realm. I know it when I feel and see it, but I truly cannot explain what I mean by God’s realm. Is the realm a golden layer beyond our ken that covers our earth like an umbrella? Is the realm a mist of love that we hold at bay, a mist we generally refuse to let into our hearts? Does God’s realm penetrate our cells beyond our microscope’s ability to see? Does this realm fill our minds always, but we chase it out beyond our knowing?
Where ever God’s realm is, I become rejuvenated by bathing within its great light. I become holy during those moments. I feel blissful. I feel home, as if I had never left God to wander across the dark surface of earth in the first place. Someday let us bring all the earth home to God.