7/1/08
Well, I thought I was getting it together, but it didn’t turn out that way. The 1½ weeks of rain in the last week of June flooded my basement by 3” and I had to deal with the mess. The reason for the flood was because the eve troughs and down spouts had been blown off my house during the explosion or were stolen afterwards. All the water poured down to the foundation because there was nothing to direct it elsewhere. It happened the day we got an inch of rain in one hour.
I bought a
pump and got the water out and a fan dried it up pretty good. I didn’t have
anything valuable in the basement that isn’t on a table anyway. This makes me
think of those people’s homes in the mid-west near the
Another recent problem I just realized is that I didn’t get a tax bill this year. Can you imagine how hard it was for me to write a letter demanding the hated tax bill? A bill no one wants, but one that must be paid or loose the house if it isn't paid in two years. Wonder who thought that one up? It should only apply to vacant property. Regardless, I guess my bill got lost in the shuffle of moving, even though I put in a change of address, twice. Now I had to write and beg for a bill I don’t want to pay. Woe is me. ha
On the bright side, the sun is out, my basement is dry, the mulberry tree has tons of fruit, enough for me and the birds, and the heat should chase the mosquitoes away. I love the trees in my yard but they keep it cool and moist after a rain. I haven’t had time to plant flowers, but I intend to do so next year. Maybe design some kind of path and put flowers around it. This year, I am determined to find the time to create an art object for the yard. I feel inspired by the house a neighbor painted across the street behind St. Hyacinth Church. It looks like a multicolored sun rise. I wish I could do something similar with my own home, but alas, I am happy to just get it livable again. I thank God every day that I can.
I went to BP gas station Sunday for a fill up, $47.00 worth of gas. When I checked my bank account later, I noticed that the gas station had charged me a $100.00 for gas. The bank labeled the amount as "pending." I was mad. I went back to the station and asked them what was going on.
The attendant told me that "All the gas stations do it. It is only temporary."
Temporary or not, I was still angry. Charging me double for gas isn't right. I began checking my account to see when or if the amount would correct. Finally, 4:00 am on Wed morning, I saw that my account was credited for $47.00 instead of $100.00. It took 3 ½ days to complete. I shudder to think what would have happened if I hadn't had a $100.00 in the bank at the time. I would have had to pay the bank just because the gas station was playing money games.
I have read about this happening to people before. I don't know how many gas stations do this. I have never noticed it before now. I called BP, they blamed the bank; I called the bank, they blamed BP. I write this as a warning for everyone—be careful.
On a happier note, I took my grandson to see the movie, Wall E. I loved it. I think Disney has revived its dream-like imagination, the same kind of honest romantic tale that made them famous. Remember Bambi and Snow White? I think Wall E will be a classic.
7/8/08
I haven’t been writing as much lately because my used lap top finally died. It hit the floor hard during the explosion and ever since has been reporting that it was in eminent danger of failure. Failure finally won. I intend to replace it with a different kind of writing tool very soon. I really did type with it on my lap, but found it too cumbersome and heavy to use most places like the back yard, so I intend buy something different this time.
This morning as I meditated, I thought about the light I was sending out. Jesus told me numerous times that I was truly sending out God’s energy to people. But after I met with a few other people and began to pray the rosary and send out God’s light, I wondered what this unseen light actually does for people. Probably many things based on the needs of the different people it touches. I know God's living energy helps souls, but what does this actually mean?
Then I suddenly knew the answer. I turned to Jesus who was walking with me over the land, “It helps us act good!”
I felt excited with knowing, even though it is such a simple answer.
“That is true.” Jesus said.
“The energy encourages us to love God? To know him? Or at least, the energy might ensure that a few of our thousand daily decisions and acts are moral and truthful? Do we become a little more kind, thoughtful, and honest? I think so.
Such a simple thing to understand but I felt it filled with it. I could go on forever listing how God’s love, and that is what his energy is composed of, encourages us to live better lives. But I won’t. I will say that I recognize that this energy is greatly needed right now.
Sometimes I liken all of us to kindergarten children running around in a class room. If we allow our selfish side to take over, we can disrupt the whole class and even destroy the classroom. That seems to be what we've done during in the last decades. Extra energy pouring down from the sky might also encourage us get back on track and slow down the destruction; drive us to protect this great round classroom he built for us.
I sit here and write about helping spread God’s energy around the world, but I have my own up’s and down’s that I seldom write about. I tend to get lonely at times. I don’t think I will never get accustomed to not having a male companion. I don’t know why I have been blocked from finding a friend. If it is God’s decree, (but I don’t think it is), then I grin and accept the deserved punishment, deserving because of the way I treated my husbands. I tend to write about the good stuff, and leave off the uglies.
I notice, though, that I don’t write about evil as much as I used to. This is deliberate. I used to want to explain to the world what I was finding out about the enemy(s), but I have changed my mind. Now I realize that if someone is mature, they already know about the enemy, if they are not, no amount of writing is going to warn them in time. Now I just want to spread the message of heaven and goodness where ever I can. Perhaps this means that I am changing for the good too? I expect my art to take a turn for the better when I find time to paint again.
A few days ago, as I sat thinking about how much time I need to put into the house; time that I am not using for writing or art, Jesus spoke to me.
Jesus said, “You have the rest of your life.”
I felt thrilled at his words. Jesus had just given me a blessing, a promise, and his heartfelt trust in my ability. It feels wonderful.
7/14/08
I asked Jesus once again, "How do I know it is you and not someone else?"
He smiled and I sensed him shrug. I did the same. There is no definite answer. I can't define how I know, but I usually do. In church it is easy, but at home? Somehow, I know, but then I double doubt myself later; it is easy to doubt what we hear long after the fact. It doesn't matter anyway. Jesus promised me once that he would not let me write anything on the web that wasn't true.
I think this promise still true? Isn't it?
Here I pause and look at Jesus who just smiles at me. I see his smile as half from my mind and half in front of where I sit. Invisible except for his smile.
“So," I ask, after his long silence, “What is the answer? Do you still protect me?”
He said, “Do you really need answer?”
“I would like an answer.”
Jesus remained quiet for a time and I had time to think about what I was asking. Suddenly, I realized that I was asking too much. I was asking Jesus to give credence to everything I write. Not only would that not be fair, it wouldn't be true. It would be like saying I could never write any thing wrong. That itself would be wrong.
“You understand perfectly,” Jesus finally said. “When I promised you that your writing would be true, I meant the quotes."
I remember now. At the time of Jesus' promise, I was worried that I might miss-quote him because it is hard to remember later the exact words that Jesus spoke during a visit or as we traveled to different worlds. Jesus explained to me that it would serve the purpose if I got the essence of the idea right, exact wording wasn't important. This may be true for paraphrase, but I was putting what Jesus said in quotation marks. I felt I needed Jesus ok for this.
I am glad this aspect of my writing has been cleared up because I think very soon we will travel to a specific world he wants to show us and I might have a lot to write about. He is inviting everyone to follow us to this new world. I wonder if I need a refresher course in how to follow Jesus to the stars. I get cold feet at times, a touch of fear that I won't get it right. I will get it right, or Jesus would let me know. So come join with us as we walk bare feet through heaven's newly opened gate. Ah, I like the phrase.
7/14/08
Before I meditated this morning, I took the time to prepare myself first. I haven’t been doing this lately. I forgot that I needed to lay down all the broken bits and pieces of everyday life and clear our my soul before meditation. This morning I did that. I let the personal problems drift to the ground like icy snowflakes until I stood shoulder high in white stuff. How did I pick up so many problems in such an uneventful life? No matter. I stepped away feeling clean and fresh. I noticed less distractions and think that my prayers were more effective today.
I met with Jesus on the mountain and I intend to meet with Jesus again this evening as he suggested. The major work is done on the house so I should begin to I feel more relaxed with more time to use now because much of the house is done. Time for a break.
Also, I bought a new writer. It isn’t a true lap top, although it fits very nicely on my lap, a Neo by AlphaSmart. Very reasonably priced, and so far, it works fine. I type my thoughts and then send later put what I typed into the computer where I can edit the writing. It is very handy if I want to sit and write outside. Though, I haven’t did a lot of outside work yet. Certainly, I haven’t pulled up the weeds. They are as tall as I am and I don’t know how to do it without pulling up the flowers too. I will figure it out eventually. I intend to spend a lot of time in a garden next year, but I have a lot to learn about growing flowers and pulling weeds.
Only recently have I realized that a person doesn't need to be an actual Christian to love Jesus. A person of any faith can admire Jesus for what he did for mankind and still not convert to Christianity. Anyone, Christian or otherwise, can meet with Jesus on the mountain and speak to him. He calls to all of us.
7/15/08
Today was a
non-work day so I had time to meditate and say the rosary. I try to say the
rosary most days, but especially on my days off, a good way to begin the day. I
think our city is in great need or prayer right now, so I have been spreading
God’s energy throughout they city. God's energy is filled with such love, I
hope it spreads good through the withering vine of
7/15/08
Myself and two friends met with Jesus to travel with him to a different world. We used the sky tunnel as a stepping off point. As we walked down its length, I remembered the other sky tunnels I'd seen on different worlds. One I remember as particularly beautiful because it was a rainbow reaching to the stars.
I asked Jesus if he thought the sky tunnel we had created was ok. (Human minds created the tunnel, with the help of God).
He said it was perfect.
I think so too, although what I call a sky tunnel more resembles a covered bridge as it winds and twists up through the clouds and into the deep blue sky. Small plants, colorful flowers, singing birds and fluttering butterflies have all taken up residence in the sky tunnel. Certain areas have a smooth, mahogany look and feel and I often reach out to rub one of those areas during our walk. I believe my touch gives the tree essence that comprises the tunnel a touch of love and myself a sense of orientation. It took strong minds capable of deep meditation to help build the sky-tunnel, but now, it is there for anyone who chooses to walk its length.
As we walked down its winding length, Jesus in the lead and Y, V, and myself following, we saw ghost like beings coming from the opposite direction.
I was startled, but shouldn't have been.
Jesus said, “Yes, movement flows both ways. We visit, but the tunnel allows other people to visit us."
I don’t remember if I had noticed so many visitors before, but it makes sense. Once God opened up the gates to the universe for us, they became open to all.
We came to the end of the tunnel, and fronted by a shimmering curtain, I suddenly got cold feet. What if I don’t see it right? What if the world is so complicated I can’t write about it?
Jesus said, “Trust me.”
I did and, along with my friends, took the next step out of the tunnel.
We stood on a field of knee high grass sprinkled with wild flowers. I saw what looked like an normal white house not too far away. More like a cottage than a house. It had leaves and flowers growing on and around it plus a winding stone path leading from a fence to its front door. It looked like an earth house. We didn't see any people at this time.
We walked over a hill to a small lake. A man was fishing at the lake. His back was turned to us because he was using a string to pull in fish. A group of people were across a small, bridged inlet sitting on a blanket as if they were having a picnic. Two children were running and playing what seemed to be a quiet game of tag.
"This is very earth like," I told Jesus.
He admitted that it was and said that he chose this world for that reason. He added, “They went in a different direction then the people of earth.”
I understood that they were about the same age as we humans are on earth. The people also looked human in every way. We humans may have disbursed a very long time ago; either that, or time has little relevance when we visit other planets.
I didn’t see any industry yet, but we saw a plane flying low to the ground. A single plane with one person riding in it. The plane was too quiet, as if it was gliding. We asked to see a church or place of worship. Jesus smiled and showed us another normal looking house.
"It is only a gathering place," he told us. “They pray all day. It is part of their culture. "That includes the cultures in other areas on this world as well."
"Are they in touch with God all the time like on Shamballa?"
"No, This world is not as imbued by God. The reason they are so different is that they took a calmer route into their future. Their population has always been small and they had few wars in their history. The general idea that fills this world is to do things collectively for the good of most.
Like a real democracy, was my thought.
We went into a small town that seemed picture perfect. Everything you would think should be in a small town. A few store fronts and a dirt street, but we didn't see any people here. I surmised that this is where the quiet flying car had taken off from. When we went into a larger city we saw many of these flying cars coming and going, just as quiet. The city included a few tall buildings, pastel in color, a sidewalk between the buildings that looked like rubber with people walking on them. I took note of one female walking down the sidewalk wearing a short light red dress. Her long hair fluffed out behind her because she seemed to be in a hurry. Even so, she was very composed and quiet, as was the whole city. It seemed to be perfect, but I knew we were only seeing a single part of a whole world and culture.
I asked Jesus if these people had a sky tunnel yet.
“They are about to build one soon,” He answered, then added, "They are also going to learn how to transport themselves soon, not just mentally, but physically."
Such a feat would be amazing. It may be one we humans will practice one day too.
I asked Jesus why, if this world seems so calm and perfect, it took them so long before they built a sky tunnel.
His answer was instructive. He told us that the major theme of their society was to make it work as smoothly as possible, with consideration for everyone. The result is that they have less stress to contend with. This is good, but, as he explained, it also hinders the rapid growth of ideas. They didn't need to hurry their inventions. Even so, they did invent many great things, and they skipped deadly wars and the whole, dirty industrial revelation to do it. He said, "They went another way."
I got the impression that this world is a balance between the laid-back simplicity of Shambella and fast dangers of Earth.
"What number would you give it?" I asked Jesus.
Jesus smiled his answer. He refused to put a value number on the worlds we visit. He told us that complex worlds can’t be qualified so easily. Too complicated.
He added, “On the next visit through the sky tunnel, we are going to visit a world that is just the opposite from this one. Nether of these worlds belong to the heavenly worlds centered on God. This one we just visited is like Cotton World in that they have problems and their own way of dealing with them.
He added, "It is a very small world and more easily managed than most. The next world we visit will be different."
Our visit over, I said good-by to Jesus and my friends. I pulled my Neo out of its bag and began to write. It is light as a feather and I still fumble with the keys a little because it can wobble on my lap, but this little typing machine is quick to turn on and off. The only fault I have found so far is that it takes longer than usual to transfer the writing to my regular computer. Not a real problem at all.
7/19/08
This morning I remembered to lay down my problems before I began to meditate. I imagined them as fluffy dandelion seeds floating away. I became so enthralled as I floated the little cotton seeds away that I startled when Jesus stepped into their midst to take my hand. All the tiny worlds of fluff dispersed in the wind as we walked to meet the other people on the mountain. On the way, we took time to stop for a moment at the pond and waterfall that I like so well. I put my hand beneath the cold flow of the trickling, sunlit water. It felt ice cold and invigorating.
As we walked to the meeting once more, I noticed the rocks and grass bite at my feet, but not sharply. Walking on the grass felt pleasant and the small stones made me feel all of earth beneath my feet. The soil of earth, what a treasure. My imaginary bare feet brought to mind the idea that I dare not walk around inside or outside my house in bare feet just yet, still too much glass. I still find glass in the oddest places.
As Jesus
and I entered the clearing, I saw that many people wearing colorful clothing
waited to greet us this day. The whole mountain side looked like a field of
bright flowers, nodding and smiling flowers. I saw people from
After we greeted each other with nods and smiles, we joined into a circle. It doesn’t matter how great or small our numbers are, the circle is always the right size. Those who could send out the light from our centers. (some days I am not as able to tune in to God's inner central light, so I assume this is true for everyone) If we can’t feel that flashlight effect of sending out the light, it doesn't matter because when the energy from God flows back over us, it flows over all.
This happened today as well. I could see the light beam out of me this day. I sent it hither and fro for a second like a beam from a flashlight and then aimed it towards the center of the circle with everyone else. Something great happens at that moment. We get back ten times what we put in. Even though it is all God’s energy when it is inside us and outside us, the quality and quantity changes into something grand. To me this day, it felt like the sun had decided to anoint us with a dose of heavy brightness that lit up our bodies like x-rays. We were surrounded by such love as to be undecipherable and indescribable. We were low batteries come to life beneath a full charge.
The blast effect of the central light seems almost too brief, but if it were to last longer, our psyches would burn to a crisp. (well, am getting a little over dramatic here) Instead, filled up and bounding with energy, we craved to share it with other people.
I stepped
back to the center of
I remembered what Jesus said not too long ago, “It spreads good.”
I walked
down numerous streets pushing this goodness in front of me, into every nook and
cranny of the city. Then I stepped to the western suburbs then circled the
whole metro area. As I did, I noticed that the rose bud made of light had
sprouted at
Then I
tried to cover the whole of the
I also
touched the whale’s mind for a second this morning. It is good to let the
whales and dolphins know that we are still praying for them and that we care.
The light flowed beyond
Other
people are doing the same in almost every country on the globe. During my march
across
I am not able to greet each person when we meet or gather, but Jesus can and does. He is the one calling on us to meet in this new way, he is the one who is collecting us like seeds to sow for God's planting. Of course, we love it.
In various places, I singled out a needy person to hug or give special attention to. One man I found was huddled in agony and in great need of a hug. Other people who I went needed good thoughts more than anything.
Auto manufacturers and board members who ran coal factories were my next visit. I think I went to a few of the leaders, but not knowing their faces, I may not have spoken individually to each of them.
What I said when I found an agreeable ear, was, “We don’t mind paying for scrubbers on the coal. Please clean up the coal,” or "We are waiting for plug in cars."
This was unusual for me. I don’t usually say anything specific when I step into a political scene. When I used to visit the United Nations or the U S Congress , I would say something innocuous such as, “Live the light.” I think our situation is getting more serious and more people need to act on it now.
Just before
the half hour was over, all of us met to spread the light over the whole globe
of earth. We sent God’s energy down into the bowels of the earth as well into
the sky.
7/22/08
After I
walked with Jesus alone for a moment, two friends came to walk with us. These
are the same friends who always accompany us off world, but then another friend
joined us from the
All of us, with Jesus in the lead, stepped onto the sky-tunnel. At that moment, I had an amazing thought. I just realized that the beautiful, living sky tunnel begins anywhere and ends anywhere. Though, it may have its first opening in the center of the Cathedral of Light. I looked around and noticed for the first time that parts of the floor is made up of tight strands of woven, twisting tree limbs. Every time I enter, I seem to find new additions. The world tree essence that makes up the sky tunnel does this for us as a gift, I am sure.
This evening, as soon as we stepped out of the tunnel, we walked into a barrage of flying cars. I ducked my head a number of times out of instinct; although, we were invisible. The sky in front of where we floated was a peacock blue speckled with a million small flying cars. Noisy too, but that may have been caused by wind. With so many cars zipping around through the air, it sounded like race day without motors. To me, it looked like madness.
That feeling was confirmed when two of the cars crashed close to where we stood watching before they fell from the sky. As their slot emptied, more flying madmen took up their place in the sky. Where are they all going zipping around so busily. Also, what happened to the people in the fallen cars. Maybe the cars were indestructible. The whole scene had a circus atmosphere. Cars were flying forwards, backwards and upside down.
"It can make a person dizzy," I said to the group and they all agreed.
We followed Jesus down to a huge, mall like building and stood in a long corridor. People were walking at a fast at a busy pace. It looked like one of our malls but the people were walking too fast for browsing. Some did pop into open doors. The whole wide corridor was enclosed except for a strip of sky down the middle. I imagined the roof served as protection from the flying cars and this proved to be true all across the land. The people looked earth normal, but walked too fast.
Every once in while, we saw a person jump into an open alcove, stay for a moment, then step back out and begin walking in the same direction once more.
At our questioning faces, Jesus smiled. “That was their form of prayer.” he told us. He then added, “Contrary to what it might look like, they are a very religious people. You would consider all of these people good.”
We looked at the alcove once more. It was highly decorated with fancy scroll work and had a golden statue in the center with a bench or kneel pad in front.
Amazing. As busy as these people seem, they have time to stop and pray.
Jesus explained something to us about worship and prayer on different worlds. He told us that where people have difficulties, there are always Gods, real or imagined, to pray to. The real God of the universe doesn’t abandon any world and accepts all prayer. Some worlds are more depraved and walk a darker path than others. This world may seem very needy, but its various forms of religion are sufficient to give honor to God.
While still inside the long, busy corridor we watched as a single worker planted trees beneath the sky opening in the long gallery. He laid all the tall trees down, about twenty five of them, and quickly, lifted each of them to stand tall all in a line. Then he went back and patted the soil with some instrument. The job was done quickly, like in a production line.
My friend Y asked if this world had wars.
“Yes, many.” Jesus showed us a birds eye view of their history. It looked like ant colonies of different colors running together, intermixing, then running out again with the predominant color changed in each direction. It was a speeded up version that made it look like a cartoon. Perhaps it wasn't too different from our own history of wars if they were speeded up ten times.
Thinking of the car crash, I imagined that they didn't place much value on life, and said so. But as I thought about it, I realized that I hadn't seen people die, even in their many wars. Only the banners had changed colors. So I wasn't sure what 'war' meant to these people.
As we walked further, Jesus told us, “They have the whole planet covered by what you would call cities. Some large areas were controlled agriculture centers. We learned that most people live in houses stacked below ground level. Buried high rises? He mentioned lack of space, but he didn't need to mention the danger of the flying cars. We all got that point.
"Does anyone live on top?" Someone asked.
"Yes, the very rich."
We went to a long high glassed in enclosure. it seemed to be built of steel rods with glass blown into a large, tough bubble set in between. We also saw long glassed in balconies that crisscrossed the land, filled with more hurrying people. It was a wonder that the airplanes didn’t crash into the glass, but there was probably some protective mechanism that kept the flying cars from crashing into the glass buildings.
I asked Jesus, “Is this world a lesson for us?”
He told us that it wasn’t. “You already understand about over crowding and the danger of too much sprawl across the earth."
I dared to ask, “Then why did you want us to see this world?”
“As a contrast to the calm and steadfastness of the last world we went visited." “Also, he went on to explain, “In both civilizations the people were more or less good. They pray often and sincerely.”
I wondered about his words. I could tell that this world wasn't one of God's worlds. I would have felt God’s presence fill in every space. Yet, Jesus said the people were more good than not. What does that mean? Does it mean that we have something extra on our world that pulls us towards the dark side? I shuddered and shelved the idea for another time. I already knew the answer anyway.
Next, Jesus showed us huge factories blowing out dark clouds, spaced between green countryside, but not many large areas of green compared to the abundant sprawl of towns and cities.
We separated for a short while to walk and look around and one friend called us over and pointed to the green grass on the surface near a walkway or road? A flying car had just crashed. We watched as arms (metal?) came out of a black box, checked the dying person out, then pulled the person inside it, crashed car and all.
Jesus told us, “If the person is dead, their family will be notified right away. Everyone has their medical history, DNA and other important events in their life on record. The DNA will be used right away to either heal or produce another person identical to the one who died.”
As he spoke, we saw a dark spiral from another crash.
I looked at Jesus with a smirk about these goofy people who kept crashing and falling out of the sky
“Why don’t they have laws to make them slow down?” I asked.
I really felt upset by the stupidity of it all, but then felt ashamed. To someone beyond our world, we would look just as crazy. On second thought, and after Jesus knowing smile, I realized this wasn't too different from our own highways. I did feel a bit of thanks that we don’t have personal flying cars yet.
“I am ready to leave.” I said to Jesus and the others who had joined us.
None of us argued the matter. We were probably all worn out from observing the danger of death flying around our heads as if it were nothing but a computer game.
7/27/08
I know now how to recognize when it is Jesus who speaks. There are a number of people around the world who speak to me mentally and I can usually identify them by character. Yet, the voice of Jesus always had a special identity that was hard to pin down. Finally, when Jesus spoke to me in church this morning, I paid attention to how I knew it was Jesus. He made me feel holy. An aura of holiness flowed from him to me as he spoke. Good feelings of love flow from him similar to the golden light that flows from God. Common sense, of course. If we minor players can spread God's light, imagine how greatly Jesus as a man of spirit can do so. Jesus sends me waves of the holy.
I am not ordinarily saintly in any way. As an example, just yesterday I did something that I am still ashamed of. I called the paint store to ask and compare their prices to Home Depot. The store was closer and the price similar so I went in and looked around. It didn’t take long for me to get frustrated. The variety and descriptions of paint was strange to me. The sales clerks were too busy to help explain things to my satisfaction. One clerk came over to help, and explained somewhat, but when I learned the price was only for certain paint on sale I was ready to leave.
I said, out loud, “I’ll just go to Home Depot and get what I want.”
One man shopping in the store looked shocked at my words. As I walked to my car, I thought of how my words must have sounded to him. I was thinking out loud, but should have kept my thoughts to myself. I am ashamed of the inappropriate display of emotion. My excuse is I may be taking too much thyroid medication. An over-active thyroid tends to make people up-tight and short tempered. I will need to watch what I say from now on.
Amazingly, Jesus seems to accept my blunders for what they are—temporary slip ups. Most of us might not be so understanding. So to conclude these paragraphs, I am not usually holy, or worthy of Jesus valuable talks. None of us are, but Jesus has told me recently that he is talking to more and more people, and will continue to add more all the time. He wants to befriend everyone.
All this and I haven't gotten to the most important part, the reason Jesus spoke to me during the mass. His appearance was low key and almost undetectable; it was his words that gave me a surprise.
He said, “I will heal you.”
I wondered what he would heal, then I realized, Ah, my leg. I have been walking slowly and with a limp. I haven't been able to kneel as much as the other people during the mass, because my knees hurt. I think I may have arthritis in my knee bones, but it is also my muscles or tendons have been giving me a hard time. Sometimes I am not sure I could walk in a store without holding on to a shopping cart. I do keep pushing myself to stay active and try to forget that my leg hurts. I painted a small room yesterday, but it took me three hours when it should have taken one. Guess I am getting weaker and older.
Another thing that I noticed this morning during mass was the large family who sat in front of me, a women with seven children. She was a beautiful mother and I couldn’t help wondering at the close agreement the family must have with God to be able to handle such a large family. All the children were very well behaved. I know they are blessed by God.
I wondered if Jesus wanted me to see this family because of my wishy-washy views on contraception. Still, I think it takes a very strong, special couple to do what this family has done. It takes a faith in God that many young people lack when they are beginning a family. Seeing that family made me feel humble, which also might have been Jesus point.
People don’t understand yet, but Jesus is here and Jesus is active and Jesus is calling us to become more holy.
He told me a number of years ago, “Holiness will fill the land again like it once did in past times.”
My mind jumps to imagining monasteries and monks and nuns wearing long robes walking across the land and pilgrims everywhere. It also jumps to the evils that walked the land then too, some of it in a corrupt church. I think Jesus meant before the high middle ages. More people may get holy, but in different ways. Science can't be put back into the bottle, nor should it be. Our holiness will bare fruit in ways we never dreamt before, such as mentally traveling to other worlds, but will also be mixed in with traditions that we almost lost?
Jesus did say during mass this morning that he wants me to walk this route, the route towards a more traditional way of faith. This is strange for me and a little frightening.
The first question that came to mind was, "Do I need to become narrow minded?" I could not and thankfully, Jesus assured me that such narrow-mindedness wouldn't be needed. Jesus likes my ability to see and understand people in their varied situations. But then I wondered, if tradition is the right path, have been walking the wrong way all this time? With Jesus’ help, I understood. I haven’t been walking the wrong path, this other path just has more rightness to it. Perhaps it will prove the straighter, more narrow way for me?