6/5/08
I need to mention my neighbors help once more because I am so grateful to them. Aaron came over yesterday after work and spend hours putting glass in my windows. He did this for a small fee. His labor is worth much more than he charged me. The same goes for Jim who agreed to put in the used windows I bought. When I gave up the ship because my water pipes were frozen, Mr. Washington, who we all call Mr. Tut, came to help. He redid many of my pipes and corrected the problem so I could move back home. He charged only a fraction of what a plumber would charge. One neighbor came over and gave me a donation to help me get my house back in order. These neighbors helped me because they want me back in the neighborhood. Maybe they remember that I used to put out the newspaper for our street or that the children used to come over and draw, or that I keep my yard clean and the grass cut. It makes me feel good that so many people care. I am glad to be back and I feel that I owe them all a favor in return. What comes around goes around. I will pay them back one day. For now, I give them my prayers.
6/5/08
I mentioned once when I sat in my son's yard how nice the trees were in the distance. In my own yard, trees surround me as if I were in a hidden cove or grotto. There are 15 sets of trees in the small yard behind my home, plus one or two in the empty lots next door. I love sitting on the glider and listening to the birds call to each other. This night there were too many mosquitoes. I think because of the humidity. I tried to control them with a mental shield as if I were sitting on the world called Shamballa. It didn’t work. I am not practiced enough to make it work. I am sure with enough effort, I could create a mental shield and maybe by the end of summer I will become better at it.
Jesus spoke as I tried to create it. He said, “It takes a lot of will power and practice.”
Well, right now I am so busy doing other things like getting my house fixed and back in order, I don’t have much of either. So I went into the house and turned on a fan.
It is enough that the yard waits for me another night when the air is drier. Then I will have enough peace of mind to begin traveling with Jesus again too.
6/7/08
We met on the mountain this morning. I greeted old friends as if I had been away for a time. Well, maybe I have been. I am back now and soon I will have my home put back together—a phoenix rising from the ashes. For now, there is still a lot of work to do, but at least I can look out my windows again. No more boarded up windows, except in the small room off the dinning room. This is so wonderful. Plus, my son Jim put in a shower for me yesterday. What a relief. you can’t imagine what it is like not having a shower. Well, a lot of people can imagine it because most people in this world don’t have such a luxury as a shower. Water will one day be the next gold standard. It already has such value in some countries. I am so sorry. The only thing I know to do is donate when I can and continue praying and sending out God’s light.
When I send out God's light, I am acting like a magnifying glass. It isn't my holy light, it is God's, a light filled with love, warmth, and creativeness. A light that can save souls. As Jesus said once, "Saving souls is the most important work needed on earth." When Jesus implies that something is valuable, he doesn't measure value like we do in wealth or power. His measure puts value in the human soul. How do we humans forget this so easily?
Note- I noticed that when I am with Jesus, I usually look slightly mature but beautiful. This reminds me that people on other worlds can look any age they choose.
I mentioned this to Jesus and this is what he told me: "On a world where every one is beautiful, ugly might be an outstandingly quality."
I remember the older person John I met on Shamballa. He chose to look old there and where ever he visited. His age was unique on that world and maybe others as well.
6/8/08
Jesus filled the church this morning. I felt his presence intimately. I read some of the mass in English, while the priest said the prayers in Latin, and it suddenly struck me how fitting the mass is, It serves as a true reflection of Jesus. This may seem simplistic and common sensible, but I felt sudden pride in my religion as I realized this new fact. So did Jesus. I could feel his pleasure beam down at me.
He said to me, “You love it, don’t you?”
I had to agree that I did. I loved the solemnity of the chants, the classical voices, the style of the church that reminds me of a different era, and the seriousness of the people in the pews. I felt delighted to be back at Assumption Grotto.
At one point, I sensed Mary was present next to Jesus.
I asked her, “You want me to stay in the Legion of Mary, don’t you?”
Her smile was her answer.
Mary knows my ambivalent feelings about the Legion, that I cringe at its flawed strictness, just as I honor its intentional strengths. One of its many strengths is the character of its members. The Legion seems to call to the best of people who only want to spread good in the world.
Yet, I still remember Jesus words a number of times, “You will go your own way.”
What ever the words meant, it is not for me to know at this time. So for now, no questions asked, I follow what heaven asks of me with patience. I am God’s ever obedient and, I hope, humble servant.
Let me count my treasures: God is right there, glowing, Jesus is present in every church, Mary is always by his side in agreement, angels abound to help us when needed, my family has been helpful as I get my house worked on, my neighbors have went out of their way to help me move back home, my water and lights and car are running smoothly. Don’t wake me from this dream. Thank you Lord.
6/10/08
I just
finished the rosary and meditation this morning. I have been meditating and
sending out God’s light into the city of
As I write
this I can see rain pouring down like sheets. I am delighted that I can look
through my windows and see the rain. I think about those people in
The near
suburbs have had great storms in the last few days, but I am sure insurance
covers most of the storm damage because most people in the suburbs have
insurance. So except for the trauma of fear and recovery, they should be ok.
Many people in the city don’t have homeowners insurance, just fire insurance,
because insurance companies charge Detroiters more than they do other people; I
hear even more for insurance than people living in
I understand better now how traumatic damage to a home can be. I thought my own home was beyond repair right after the explosion. Without the help and foresight of my neighbors, it still might have been. They told me it was fixable. They were right.
We never
know the true value of something until we loose it. Now I no longer listen to
anyone who puts my home down because it is in
Also, the ownership of it carries responsibilities and chores that keep me moving and busy. I feel a sense of civic pride of place, a place from which to take a stand for good. And not least, I have room for an office in which to write and a basement where I can paint. One of these days, I will get back to my normal routine, but next time, I promise to be less lazy about it. I am already on a good running roll of things to do every day. I put everything to do for the week on a list and line it out when it gets done. All I need to do now is keep the list going and all will be well.
I just painted a window for my dinning room to replace the stained glass that was stolen. It and other things were taken right after I left, I suspect by groups who go around after disasters to search out valuables. The painting needs a few touch ups, but I am proud of it and feel that it looks better than what was taken, even if every brush stroke is visible. It is a painting of Jesus standing on a mountain speaking to people. I like the idea of Jesus gracing my neighborhood by looking out my window. If I can, I am going to buy an arch for the roses to climb on and put a large statue of Mary in its center too. Eventually, I will add more roses, although I still have much to learn about flower gardening. What I do have is time and inclination because I expect to live another twenty or thirty years.
Now for a note of discord. I am awake at 4:00 am and can’t get back to sleep because of my neighbor across the street. He came home in a small red car that sat across the street for a long time playing a loud radio at 2:30 in the morning. I am troubled by this because I need to get up and go to work in the morning. How can I make it through the day?
Well, complaints, complaints. And what about our Mayor? He clings like an amoeba to an office he no longer deserves. Sadly, the blatant unconcern and criminal element trickles down from the top to the bottom giving the message to the street that anything goes. It only takes one bad neighbor to destroy peace on a street. Is it also true of a whole city?
I believe there are enough good,
church going people in
6/20/08
I have been thinking and I just realized that one of the main reasons I still belong to the Legion of Mary, in spite of its faults, is their stated goal—To crush the head of the serpent. I want to do this through any means possible.
A famous painting of Mary shows her standing on the earth with the head of a serpent beneath her foot. The Legion uses a statue of this painting as its symbol. Only recently have I thought deeply about what this symbol might actually mean. The head of the serpent is the mind of darkness, which probably includes our own primitive natures as well the serpent's dark one. This dark mind constantly pulls and prods our souls away from God.
To crush the mind of the serpent means to disrupt its influence on its favorite prey. It means to halt a person's backward progress and then turn that person around so they can move towards God's light. This seems a hard enough job for priests, let alone Legion members. I doubt if many laypersons belonging to the Legion who would be up to such a task. I guess, we aren’t expected to turn people around, just call to them or make help them take notice of God. Then we can let Jesus do the rest.
It was Jesus who turned me around many years ago. He pulled me up out of the mire I had fallen into and then carried me into the light. Now I would carry others if I can, like St. Christopher carrying the Christ Child across the water. Only the water I carry people over is the sky tunnel, a mental ladder to freedom from control by the serpent, a freedom that darkness has held us back from. (My writing has nothing to do with the Legion, so I am still wondering what I do best as a member).
God now gives us permission to walk that tunnel. Jesus expects that our minds are ready to explore new worlds and to learn new abilities. Now that our world has shrunk, our minds can expand beyond it. We can walk the universe with Jesus at our side. He asks us to do so and to follow him.
What I have written so far is so brave and forward it almost makes me squirm, but Jesus said, "I like it."
His words encourage me to put this writing on the web. Also, my house is getting fixed up enough that I can slow down and relax more. I sat in my back yard the other night, no misquotes for some reason, and just visited with Jesus. My love for Jesus was so strong, I felt like I was renewing our friendship. Actually, it had never wavered, I just got too busy to sit and wallow in our closeness. I forgot to stop and smell the roses. Now I am almost back to my old self and intend to write about many different places Jesus wants us to visit. I am looking forward to our travels.
6/20/08
This evening is one of those rare, perfect days that don’t come to us very often: it is untroubled, silent and colored in green. I sit here beneath a canopy of emerald tree fronds, interspaced by deeper shadowed leaves and a spattering of sunlight. A few thoughts nag at me every once in a while, but for now, it seems as if the whole world is holding its breath and taking note of its own majesty. The only sounds are from nature: the flutter of wings high in the trees, the small chirps of young birds, the grinding squeak of a pheasant, and the chatter of a squirrel. If I listen hard, I can hear a screen door close someplace on the block and the traffic zooming on I-94 to the north. I can also drown those sounds out of my awareness. None of it can disturb the peace of this moment. Oh, there. A car just drove by with its radio blaring, but it was a few streets away. Nothing to bother about.
I had thought my son might come over to put a storm door on the front for me, but I am glad he didn’t. It would have disrupted this peaceful day too much. A day like this must be gathered to the heart and held on to at all cost. The peace has penetrated my bones as well as my senses. I feel bountiful and overjoyed at God’s kingdom. Truly, all is well.
Jesus is with me as I sit here. He has smiled and extends his hand out in tenderness. We both know that this feeling won’t last. Hard to imagine that some worlds have this kind of peace most of the time, not just sparingly like here on earth. I know because Jesus has taken me to visit them. He has plans to take me to visit a few more places soon, places with simple descriptions which many people will be able to follow. I look forward to it.
For now, I know that I need to go into the house soon. My dog and cats are already inside waiting for me to feed them. Busy life must intrude once more. I may turn on the news as I eat my own dinner. What a shock that will be to the system after two hours of blissful contemplation and solitude. But such is life.
Tomorrow I have much to do. I make lists every week of what must be done to the house. I am almost done with my own part. I need to paint the front window trim, but I laugh as I try to paint over the holes and cracks in the wood. It doesn’t matter that I paint right over the flaws, as I age my eyesight ages with me and is so bad anymore that I can’t see the flaws anyway. Soon, my house will be as back to normal as it is going to get this year which means my life will get back to normal too. I will then have more time to write or paint or build a art form for the yard. I liked being busy with necessary work too. I imagine myself living in an apartment with nothing to do and shudder. It might be just right for some people, but not me. So I say one more time, thank you Lord.
6/21/08
This morning when I went to meet with Jesus, I walked over sharp rocks and stones. I looked at Jesus puzzled for a moment and then I realized it was my own hurt feelings that I was walking upon. Jesus took my hand and we continued down the mountain as the stones smoothed into pebbles and the stringy grass grew tender beneath my bare feet.
Very soon I met with the other people who had gathered. I felt the strong energy from God that now surrounded them penetrate my body as well. I bathed in the light. I was now healed of my own misgivings, doubts, or sorrows.
I looked at Jesus truly grateful for his touch and leadership. How can I heal other people unless I am well myself? How could I send out God’s light unless I am filled with light first? How could I hold a baby and heal its irregular heartbeat unless my own heart beats clean and perfect? Yes, how?
Oh, I feel so loving and perfect at this moment. I remember the flowers I bought yesterday and how pleased I will be to set them outside on the porch and how wonderful this June weather is and how pleasant the bird's songs are in the trees.
Then I caught myself and remembered that I was supposed to be praying, not reflecting on the earth’s grandeur. I had also forgotten to turn on my rosary tape.
As I did so, Jesus said, “It is very powerful.
He meant that the rosary was a very powerful prayer and tool when we meditate. The words of the rosary help direct God’s light into the souls we pray for. That is what the light is all about, saving souls, feeding souls, helping souls, repairing souls, and loving souls. This grand, invisible aura of potential, a potential that many humans still refuse to believe in, will guide us and us walk into the light and our holy destiny.
6/27/08
All the news about Mar's soil is exciting, but not surprising to me. I remember when Jesus showed me a tiny caterpillar-like animal on Mars. It looked like it had plates on its body as it lay at the base of a rock.
Jesus told me that they were very rare. He also told me there was other life on the planet, but not much. Long ago, life was common on Mars. Once he showed me symbols people had carved in a cave. I asked if humans would find the symbols if we go to Mars. Jesus replied that it would take a extremely long time before we could find such evidence. I think the reason is that the last writings of the people are inside caves deep in the planet.
Once, long ago: Oceans on Mars? The face on Mars carved so it could only be recognized as such from a long distance away? Artistic people who used the rock of Mars for carving and their life dwellings? A people with dark skin who came to Earth and interbred with its population? I think so, but most people will probably never believe it or know for sure. But then, I often wonder, what exactly do we know for sure.
We have been getting a lot of storms lately. The weather seems to be changing so fast we can’t keep up with it. Is this all our own doing? Probably. We’d better work faster to fix the problem. If I could afford a new car, which I can’t, I would buy one of the tiny cars that plug in as soon as they come out. I guess there isn’t much each of us can do when it comes to saving the environment. We might keep tabs of the use of dirty coal and demand they build scrubbers in the plants. From what I read this would be one of the most beneficial things we could do as a nation. Maybe I should direct my meditation during the rosary towards the owners of these utility companies.
6/28/07
This morning I thought about other people who might want to meet with Jesus and his comment that such a meeting is basic and most people should be able to meet with him. But I could imagine someone might build themselves up into a panic or worry that it won't work for them. Fear might be the only thing that can hold a person back. Jesus wants everyone to come to the gathering. Believe me, heaven will be at your side any time to try to meet with Jesus. You will get help until your effort is successful.
All it really takes is the ability to see Jesus' face in your mind. Look at his face and smile. That is the beginning second. Take a step towards him and that is the next second, and so on. Or you can first imagine a specific place, real or not, where you want to meet with Jesus and then visualize him standing in front of you. If you see Jesus with you, he is. Jesus has the ability to be ubiquitous.
This morning, I met Jesus with a smile. I felt like hugging him because his presence gave me an inner sense of serenity and contentment. My feelings were so strong at this point, I did give him a quick hug. He didn't mind at all.
As we stood together, I felt the tiny stones of earth on my bare feet. When we began to walk, I felt the grass blades tickle. I remember when we used to meet on Mars, I felt the need to feel stones because it orientated me in place. Some people still meet on Mars but I haven't recently, I may again one day. I walked to my favorite place to be with Jesus for a moment, a small cove of trees and brush surrounding a small waterfall and pond. I put my hand in the trickle of water and felt it splash on me. I dipped my fingers into the small pond as I sat on a rock. I looked up at Jesus and felt such peace as I can hardly describe.
Now I felt ready to meet with the other people. I turned on the rosary tape and walked with Jesus to meet the others. Many people had gathered and I nodded to many. Sometimes I see a familiar face as I walk among the huge gathering. What a mountain. Everyone seems content and joyful. Everyone like a smoldering spark, ready to gather up God’s energy and come to life.
Our problems are set aside for this moment in time, we are one, we are a circle that fills with love and light, we see the inner light leave our centers and flow into the middle of the circle, we are suddenly awash with such energy as our minds can hardly contain. And the purpose is not to contain it, but spread it around to other people. Spread God’s energy into every soul, to call a million people to come join us, to heal the mentally wounded, to send light into sorrowful hearts, to magnify God for everyone.
We each have our own job to do. We know where we fit best and who needs us most. I liken each of us to a pebble dropped into a pond that sends out ripples for long distances. In fact, this is true. Each of us, just by being energized by God, shimmer and glow in an unseen bubble where we exist and also where we walk during our meditation.
I went to a few babies and children and gave them a hug. I don’t know who they are. As my mind roams over the land, these are the people I come across who I think could use a hug or good thought. Sometimes I go to family members, sometimes not. Sometimes I drift off and forget what I am supposed to be doing. One of the values of listening to the rosary while I meditate is that the words can pull my mind back into focus. I recommend some form of prayer during meditation. This may be one reason why Buddhist monks use chants; it helps keep their minds focused.
Towards the end of the half hour, many of us gathered together to surround the whole of earth, below and above, with God’s light. Here and at the start, I greeted my old friends who I used to label with letters. I feel embarrassed that I did so now, but its purpose was to provide anonymity when I wrote about our conversations.
I just realized that I haven’t been writing of our conversations lately, although I still talk to these friends once in a while. Actually, I often go to each them for comment and advise on some odd idea, philosophic thought, or concern. I also go to Jesus often, but at times, it seems like my friends are more sunk into our earthly problems and therefore have their own unique answer. This often proves to be the case. I value greatly my ability to meet with them even though the whole conversation might last a split second. The human mind can move like lightening.
Before I stop writing this morning, I need to make a comment of something Jesus told me in church and repeated this morning.
He said, “If you can imagine the light, you have the light.”
What he meant was that during meditation, if we can imagine ourselves surrounded by light, sending out light, sharing light, we truly are doing so. When our minds concentrate and think about the light of God, the energy becomes more substantial the more we visualize it. As if God joins us with his ongoing creation, as if every particle of matter we encounter with our mind becomes imbued with a deeper essence. Somehow, our ability to know we hold the light, gives us that light and fills us with God’s energy. Light filled with the beauty of peace surrounds me right now, I feel it and know it. God has filled me. May my whole day be tinged with this peace.