11/1/08
I spent a half hour just walking with Jesus and talking to him this morning. I realize that I have been neglecting this part of my life. Jesus explained that it was because I was being boxed in with dark energy. I picture it as multiple boxes of dark air layered upon one another enclosing me in an invisible shell. This morning, I know that I blew all the shells away, at least for a short while.
We walked on Mars and sat on a large rock in the center of an red-orange canyon that looked like it had been carved by a million years of wind and sand. I was reminded of photos I had seen of the western states. Mar's beauty is stark and pure; I like to sit in its austere atmosphere, and because Jesus and myself are the only minds on the whole planet, it is the perfect place for clarity of mind.
We sat talking for a long time and I won’t go into all we talked about. Nothing of great importance, but at one point, I mentioned to him the movie I had watched, The Tibetan Book of the Dead. I was amazed at the number of children learning how to be Buddhist and also the meager life they live. They have very little, yet seemed happy. I wondered at the great wisdom they would achieve because they started out learning about the mind so young, but also I wondered if they were missing out too much on the normal world. Would they be better off with computers and the other paraphernalia we have in the west.
Is it good for them? I felt worried about them, and their opposite over here. Some of our own children are so bored and in need of direction they are burning abandoned houses for kicks. It reflects a hidden malaise in our culture. How to find the balance I wondered between the modern world with all its toys and the world of wisdom?
Jesus couldn’t answer me exactly because I hadn’t asked a real question. But he suggested that those children, even if able to use a computer, might keep the modern world as a small segment of their total lives instead of being enthralled by everything that comes by. Too bad the world can’t find a happy medium. I thought of ipods and how marketing actually created the need for them. Now every young person must have one, as if such a thing were vital to existence. Which brought up a real question.
What is vital to existence? I asked Jesus.
Jesus said, “All of it.
I smiled in surprise. In other words, all of the complex workings of people in the world go towards what we should be and become. The idea of everything interplaying and cross hatching towards change is too much for me to grasp. Like the different layers of time and space Jesus showed me once, too much. I felt ready to join the others.
We stepped off Mars and stepped into a sparse forest in the mountains. We walked over to where many people were gathered. I noticed the glow of golden light before I got there. This group of people are so holy they give off a glow of God’s energy even before they gather to communicate with God. I am not sure I deserve to be among them. But that is silly, we all deserve to meet with Jesus on the mountain. Jesus is the one who calls us there, not me. I only write about it. Jesus is pulling all of us to himself with love. Sometimes my love for Jesus overwhelms me and the only release is to give some of it away.
11/3/08
This morning during mediation I went to the nursing home and hugged a few people. Can’t hug them while I am there because many lf the people have tracheotomy tubes and wires covering their throats. So it is better to hug as a spiritual visitor. I speak to a few residents also. I don’t know if anyone hears me. Probably not. I think we need to be very spiritually attuned to hear someone speak to our mind. I asked Jesus to walk with me to greet the people this morning. I think that most people are in this home as an ending, so I pray for their souls because that is needed most.
I went up to the Cathedral of Light again this morning. I brought the souls of a few family members and others to stand before the radiance of Mary. She is always glowing with white light and stands amid a profuse garden of roses of every color of the rainbow. The angels created the Cathedral of Light out of a rainbow, a gift to us on earth.
Our Blessed Mother gives a rose to each person who visits her in the Cathedral. I carry the rose to each person am always pleased by the choice of color. One young person I brought here, who sits in a wheel chair, got a beautiful, glowing green rose. I wondered what the color symbolized. Perhaps life and growing things. Not sure. All I am sure of is that Mary knows what our souls need the most and gives to each of us what we need.
Jesus often walks with me as I reach out to someone’s soul to bring them to visit with Mary. I don’t know why, perhaps because she is supremely regal and queenly, but Mary stands amid the roses and seldom speaks. She has spoken to me rarely, but what she says is always tremendously important. She told me once how it is far more important to heal a soul than a body.
Truly she radiates like a God, and I think she may be the female aspect of God, though the church would dispute such a notion. I don’t know how else to explain the difference I notice. For some reason, Jesus walks with me as an invisible man of spirit, while Mary stays aloof and less tangible. Jesus seems more earth and Mary more heaven. This may be for my benefit. How can Jesus teach me if he is beyond reach?
11/5/08
I think history will eventually define Obama as one of our great presidents, just as it has defined Roosevelt and Lincoln. If he just wades through and completes the work set out for him, it will be a tremendous accomplishment. He faces multiple tasks of huge proportion, maybe more than any president has ever faced, except for the sudden trauma of 9/11 that President Bush had to deal with. We live in a strange uncertain age, that is for sure.
I am as sorry as many other Catholics that Proposal 2 passed. I am afraid of eventual cloning or the misuse of human life. I hope my worst fears are unfounded. Now that the election is over, it is time for the Catholic Church to use all the rosary power, great strength, and wealth to convince women to make good choices. We can’t change the Supreme Court so the best next step is to change women's minds about abortion. If we could convince most women that abortion is akin to murder and morally wrong, many might turn away from such a choice. Many have turned away in the last ten years. I checked with different statistics on the web and found that at the peak, in 1990 there were more than a million abortions, but at last count, only about half a million, (687,734) or 2% of pregnancies in 2000. Still, too large a number, but with prayer and support, those numbers will go down even further.
11/4/08
I am sitting out in the back yard admiring the yellow leaves on the tree. It is just fantastically beautiful. Jesus agreed and said, “Earth has it all.”
That is why heaven doesn’t give up on us, I think. We are the most complex world in the Milkyway Galaxy. Jesus told me this once. As I thought of his words, I wondered if the other worlds were seeded from earth. It seems a good possibility, but I didn’t ask Jesus right then because it would increase my confusion as to time and place and everything else, so I’ll leave the question go for now.
I can say that most worlds Jesus took me to were earth-like, which surprised me at first. I expected more exotic fauna and people. Oh, I did see a few really strange things. I remember one world where the men rode horses but the fauna glowed like Christmas tree lights. Bioluminescence, I imagine, but earth has that too in different forms that usually live deep in the ocean or a cave. If I remember right, that world seemed to always be in twilight or darkness. Maybe that is why it evolved as it did.
I have seen many different deciduous trees on other worlds, but on one strange world that I will never forget, the whole ground of trees, leaves, bushes and moss moved beneath our feet as if it were alive, and it was, according to Jesus. We stood like ants upon a monster's back.
Well, enough recall. I wanted to sit out side in this warm weather, perhaps for the last time this year, to say my rosary and visit with Jesus. So far I have done nothing but remember places that we traveled to, but don't feel the urge to travel again soon. I don't know why. I may get my chance because Jesus tells me we will have another warm spell before too long. I wouldn't mind a warm winter.
On another subject, I asked Jesus why he wanted us to hold hands the other week when we gather in a circle. He told me it is because we humans always require ritual. Probably, it helps us stay in touch with our belief system. This is how we keep our beliefs in tact?
He said, “You need all the ritual you can find right now.”
From his words, I sense danger and suspect that we are going through a serious and difficult time. We all know this, but try to avoid knowing it, just the same. We have a new president, which should give us a new start in some world arenas.
11/8/08
I was watching an old movie the other evening, 2010 in which earth almost annihilated its population in a nuclear war towards the end of the movie. It would have except for the miracle of a new sun in the sky and life beginning on Europa. My emotions were riding high as I watched just as Jesus spoke to me.
Jesus said, “That is what he is meant to prevent.”
I knew whom he meant; Jesus meant our new President, Obama. We can't see our future, but we do know that Jesus has great compassion for us and our circumstances. Heaven doesn’t want the population of earth to die. Jesus, Mary and the angels love us deeply; they keep trying to turn us away from killing ourselves. What can they do against free will? I believe that, during pivotal times, Jesus steps close to specific people to influence them, within his church and without.
I think of President Lincoln as one of those people who Jesus influenced because it was a time when wisdom was greatly needed. I suspect Obama will be one of Jesus' people too so he can avert certain nations from sending nukes or starting even a greater war. We common folks would rather have fun than look at the serious events going on in the world; we may be at a cliff edge of danger and not even know it. We might never know what close scrapes we almost fell into either.
Even great
people seldom get credit for the dangers they prevent because who can say that
the event might not have happened anyway. We can't see the future like Jesus
can, but we can trust him to influence the people whose job it is to keep us
safe. President Bush should get praise for preventing terrorists from attacking
11/8/08
Once in a while, I berate myself for not traveling to the stars with Jesus, but I know I will again one day. Jesus has said we will again, so I must believe it. But it seems to me our visits are far apart and I feel guilty about it, until I realized that Jesus is unconcerned about time. He doesn’t care if it takes me 6 weeks or 6 months to do something. Jesus is beyond time, or another way of thinking of it, able to step into any time he chooses, at will. We are fortunate that Jesus is looking at us during this dangerous age. We truly need his input into our civilization more than ever before.
This Saturday I didn’t do as well during meditation as I have in the past, but as I kept trying, God seemed to pour more power into me until by the middle of the rosary, I felt back to normal and able to spread God's energy field around the city and suburbs. I concentrated on spreading the warmth of love into blighted areas and fearful minds. Many people are afraid today of loosing their livelihood. I prayed for everyone and spread the light as far as I could.
Towards the end of meditation, we went below ground as a group to spread the light there too. Those people seem to worship it like they'd never seen light before. We delivered a sun to the people below, or in some undetermined space, we can't usually fathom. They basked in God power as if it was new to them. I wondered, is this hell?
It could even be some type of hell here on earth that souls are stuck in. I don’t know. I speculate, but Jesus knows. He knows the depth of everything, and I must let it go at that. He will explain when I need to know. I have great trust in Jesus. He stands out as one person in the world who loved us so greatly he died for us. His name will never die.
11/13/08
Wednesday night during the mass and before the Legion meeting, Jesus sat next to me in church. I don’t know how to explain his exceptional nearness, except to say his presence was ‘palpable.’ He remained invisible to others, but I could see him in my mind’s eye. His spirit was so real I knew I could reach out and touch him, though I didn’t. He wasn’t solid, just there. He stayed next to me during the whole mass and told me he would also stay with me during the meeting too.
I was so thrilled by his close presence; I didn't concentrate on the mass very well. I kept looking to my right side to assure myself that he was still there. Plus, I wondered why he had come to visit in such a fashion. He always manages to surprise me in some way. Every once in a while, he will make his presence or words so vivid to me that it reinstates my faith in him all over again.
Just recently, as I listened, for the second time, to a program from The Learning Company called, Jesus and the Gospels, the instructor mentioned that Christianity spread amazingly fast the first 40 years after Jesus death and resurrection. After my experience in church last evening, I realized that Jesus made himself vividly present as a living spirit to many people during those formative years. It helps explain Christianity’s rapid growth. I know my own faith solidifies during such a visit, and I live in an age where knowledge is at my fingertips. Imagine the reaction of a person back then who felt Jesus' spiritual presence standing next to him?
Has Jesus come back? Or has Jesus always been with us? Or… Well, I don’t have the answer or even the right question. All I know is that Jesus is here now and I believe that many more people will come to know him intimately soon. He wants everyone to become a close friend.
11/14/08
A few days ago, after visiting a young boy who seemed angry and about to jump into trouble, Jesus told me that when I send my spirit out to someone like this young man, I went to the other day who seemed confused, I am interacting with more than one person, that I am actually talking to more people than I realize. I wonder how? Does my one empathic speech travel to all people with the same frame of mind, young boys in danger? It might be reasonable if we remember that I am traveling in spirit and speaking to the person's soul. Our usual ideas of how the world works probably needs to be turned upside-down if we want to see things as heaven does.
We can't see multiple connections, but Jesus can. Are we all joined by nuisances of thought, invisible lines of light in an intricate lace pattern? Melded with others like ourselves according to emotion, thoughts, ideas? Does that young boy have mirror images of his problem all around the country? Then many young men just like him are at serious turning points in their life: they are about to get into trouble because they are feeling lonely or seriously depressed.
The implication for this kind of visual prayer is astounding; its potential endless. Can anyone send their bodies out into the world with practice? Imagine the good that could be accomplished. I need to think about what it all means. It is too much to know at the moment, I am still floored by the idea.
11/15/08
This
Saturday wasn’t one of my better meditations, but Jesus told me I did ok.
Sometimes I get too flighty, I jump around too much
instead of concentrating in one area. Still, I did some good. After I joined
the gathering on the mountain and received a bundle of wonderful, golden energy
from God, I came back to
I went to one ragged person and suggested that he go to a shelter. He didn't budge, either because he didn't hear me or the shelters are full. Then I said, "Please go to church." But even as I said it, I realized that such a chore might be too far advanced for him. He has no means of transportation or cloths or inclination to realize this could help him. This might be too giant a leap for such people. I think the Salvation Army and St. Vincent de Paul Society help people such as these, but maybe they don't fit there either.
Jesus spoke to me as I moved among the people and said, “I will send someone.”
I can imagine some brave priest, preacher or other concerned soul, willing to step into the trenches and talk about God to these people. I thanked Jesus for his help because the people here didn’t yet know how yet.
I also went to a few young people I have visited before and told them to keep up the good work. It isn’t that they are doing anything specific yet, it is just that they will help heaven one day and I want to stay in touch to assure them they are not forgotten.
Also, of course, I spread the light around the city and its outer suburbs. Anyone would wonder what good the light was doing when we read about the disasters unfolding in the communities. Things are getting worse, not better, but wouldn’t things be even worse without prayer?
About ten ago, just before 9/11, Jesus told me this would happen. He said the economy would fail. I wrote his words in my book. Now Jesus tells me that this worsening economy will last about another year, and certainly, none of us doubts it. We all know its main cause was the opposite of love and empathy—greed. It seems that every few generations we humans need to relearn the lessons of yesteryear, to not depend on a shifting money base to determine our life’s well-being. Certainly, God is necessary or we falter, and during times like this, we all confront this fact anew.
I remember years ago smiling to myself because some of the older people I took care of saved everything, rubber bands, tissue, pieces of paper and other things we tend to throw away on a whim. They learned how thin the ice could be when each step depended on money. They had lived through the depression; we didn't. We might yet suffer through our own.
11/20/08
It really is hard to explain how Jesus can be with me at different levels of existence or presence. I don't understand it. Last week during Wednesday’s evening mass as Jesus sat nearby, he seemed absolutely real, an invisible being of light, and yet totally there; I could feel him next to me. This week, Jesus was with me again, but as less than his real self. He spoke to me as he normally does, with only a slight wisp of light outlining his body, and told he would be with me for the meeting too.
I am probably not writing this well, but I don't know how to write it better. Perhaps I could compare it to a voice, close and far, as if some one was so busy calling on many telephones that at this end, only a faint voice can be heard. All I know is that I could see, with my mind's eye, Jesus as a solid human being aglow in bright white light one week, and the next, only a slight glow. Does it take great power to become a solid spirit? This may be true. Often, I don't see Jesus at all, but just hear his voice, a voice that usually seems to project from my upper right.
I am not complaining in any of this; I recognize my good fortune. My only problem is how to observe and write what I know in a way that other people can understand. I falter at my job at times and feel bad about it. Jesus visits me for a purpose, and that purpose is so that I can spread a modern version of what he wants us to understand. I pray every day that I do a good enough job for heaven, and wonder at the same time, why Jesus didn't choose someone more accomplished. Whatever, I guess I am it. So, since a stroke of lightening didn't unseat me yet, I'll continue to do the best I can, and keep working at the best job in the world.
11/21/08
Suddenly, I realized something important: Jesus knows our heart from the inside out; could this be why he doesn’t answer my questions. He knows that it is in our nature to be pulled forward by mystery. Who doesn’t like a good challenge, a detective picking up clues, a puzzle to solve, a problem to fix as long as it isn’t our own. What more difficult and unusual mystery has the world ever been given, but Jesus himself, the greatest of all mysteries. Like a great lover, I despair to ever, truly know him.
While I am speaking of puzzles, and it is a puzzle as to how we can gather mind to mind upon the mountain under Jesus tutelage. I think I can explain something about why. The people are from all religions and nations who all stand beneath one God to touch the holy directly, to recharge our batteries. We all know that it isn’t enough to receive this light-energy from God, our purpose is to give back, and this is what the circle becomes, a rebounding wealth of positive energy, energy we share with those who haven’t joined us yet. They will eventually.
During meditation, I went to hug the little girl whose picture I saw in the newspaper Friday. My heart screamed out at the unfairness of life as soon as I opened to that page. This beautiful child with huge eyes and chubby cheeks had starved so severely that her legs and arms were sticks, twigs that seemingly could break at a touch. It reminded me of the photos of Jews in one of Hitler’s extermination camps. How can such a thing happen to any tiny, innocent child on this earth? The yellow ribbon in her hair was almost as wide as her arm. I loved her instantly, but hated that she must epitomize the unbalanced world in which we live. What can we do? I don’t know what to do any more than any one else. War, corruption, and disaster all seem to target the children first, as if its object was to smash all innocence and beauty.
Jesus assured me during meditation that what he told me a number of years ago still holds true. He said that when I give even a little, the gift will multiply. This may be true for everyone who is sincere, that our gifts become larger than we suppose. It is hard to give a lot today because we live in bad times. I am too dumb to understand the ins and outs of the world financial system, but I beg and hope that those people who do understand the economy will do something to regulate it.
11/22/08
This morning when I met Jesus on the mountain, I did a little better than last week. I was able to hold my focus after joining in the circle. Maybe the glow of all those already gathered helped me hold my focus longer. I walked barefoot with Jesus to the gathering area, a pastorally calm, green setting, scattered rocks here and there amid tall grass, with trees rising on the distant hillside. I am not sure what mountain we stood on this day, or even if it was a real place on earth, but why not, our earth is so varied, we could choose a new mountain every day of our lives and never run out. Wherever it was, it felt pleasant and wholesome.
People stood in groups, idly waiting for others to arrive. Soon, we joined in a circle and held hands. It helps that so many people can concentrate their inner light outwards; it helped me turn on my own light. This day was wonderful. The light poured out from my center to join with all the other beams into the middle of the circle. This is when God envelop all of us in the circle in such a bright, golden haze of light, that it can take my breath away. When I walked left the circle, I felt that I had enough light energy shinning out from my body to brighten the whole world.
I took that
light, stepped back to
I was often surprised by the color rose Mary chose to give each person. I don’t know what the colors signify. One person, who I know is anything but pure, received a white rose, another a green one. I puzzled about this and received an understanding from Mary. Each color symbolizes what each soul needs at that moment. As she told me once, Mary’s main concern is the healing of souls.
This is like what Jesus told me once, “It is all that is important”.
Our Blessed Mother had a smile for each person that showered love on to everyone. Truly, she loves us, I am reminded of a mother who worries at our mistakes and fixes them where she can. I led one person to the wing of the church that the whales took over. We went forward and pushed on the invisible skin that holds their environment in place and walked in. We looked up and watched the huge whales swim above us. A few dolphins frolicked in the water as well. When we left, the person wore a huge smile and I felt pleased.
At the end of our meditative session, we gathered to spread light around the earth. Looking from above it was easy to see us as light bulbs scattered around the world melding as we sent wave after wave of God energy to the four ends of the earth, below ground, and above into the troposphere. We also brought the light underground where people seem so blind that only a very strong light can penetrate. We brightened their dark place until it shone bright. We nodded to each other as we left and I felt pleased that I'd done an ok job this day. Sometimes I don’t do so well, but today I did great, and I thank God for it all.
11/26/08
I was seriously upset the other evening. I turned on my cd and prayed the rosary. Still feeling a little unsettled, as the rosary played, I remembered God’s golden fountain and walked towards it. Soon, I stood bathed in golden wonder, showered inside and out by penetrating rays that cleaned my soul of sin and mind of worry, pelted by drops of liquid gold until my pores were saturated and no longer hungry for God. I felt home again. Refreshed, scrubbed, and overrun with love, I stepped out of the fountain wearing a face filled with smile and could not remember what the upset had been about just minutes before. Without God, I am as dead.
I so deeply want other people know God’s love as I do. Why are certain people so hard headed? My hope is that God looks on all of us as children, even to the age of fifty, and gives our sins some leeway until we finally grow up.
11/28/08
I watched Nightline Friday night about a 12-year-old boy with a brain tumor at St. Jude’s Hospital. I felt deeply saddened on his behalf and remembered that I had an envelope from St. Jude asking for a donation in my desk.
“Oh, I don’t know if I can send anything right now”, I told Jesus. “I want to help those children so much, but I don’t have enough.”
Jesus said, “You prayers are effective.”
I felt blessed at his words. I can’t afford to send a donation to all the places I want, but Jesus’ advise to keep sending out God’s light stopped my fears for little Daniel who had an aggressive tumor. Beautiful courageous children are fighting for their life, and I promised Jesus I would keep praying for them. By the end of the program, I learned that after 7 months of courage and treatment, Daniel went home, and a year later was back to normal as a straight a student.