7/2/11

Last night during the celebration at the Feast of the Sacred Heart, Jesus said such pleasing words to me that I will never forget them.

Before the sermon, while the choir sang, I told Jesus that I loved him and I was sorry for my past life, that no matter what I did in my live from now on, I would always make sure it was in agreement with his wishes. I had been thinking of my past disregard and disrespect for God’s rules on marriage and other things. It isn’t that I was horribly sinful, it was just that for many years, I walked away from God instead of towards him.

Jesus said, “I will be with you forever.”

Implying that no matter what life I live from now on, whether on earth or on some planet warmed by another star, Jesus will love me and I him.

My mind melted with love at his words. I felt completely content and at peace. I was glad I'd decided to come to this Friday evening mass. I had been tempted to stay home in my cool shorts, instead of dressing up for church. Now I was glad to be here. I wondered how many other people in church last night felt the same closeness to Jesus, many I am sure.

He also told me something else that I hesitate to write here. There was a very old, sweet lady sitting in front of us who was thin, shaky, and in need of a walker to get around. Jesus told me I would be like her one day.

I told him it sounded like a punishment, the need to live so long, even when sickly.

He smiled and said. “You will feel the same as you do now.” Then he added, “We will lift you up.”

As usual, he said no more so didn't explain what he meant. Will I be alive or dead? Why must I live so long? I tend to get bored with life even now, how will I cope with fifteen or twenty more years of it? Will I live into the hundreds? I hope not. That seems much too long a time for an arthritic body and carry on with life, even if it do keep my zeal for life going most of the time.

There must be some advantage to a long lived life. We all sense a long life lived has value because we celebrate those who make it that far. But I wonder: How does God see us as we live a longer life? What does God want of us? Surly, we gain in wisdom with long, lived years. Is this important? When we finally die will our minds or souls finally become grand in understanding? Does that matter? I don’t have any answers.

I do know what Jesus has told me. He said I should live by the day, to experience each moment and day as a new adventure and that the years will roll by so quickly I will hardly know they have passed. As we get older, we all feel the years fly by faster. I notice that many people who seem close to Jesus live very long lives, so I guess the thing to do is accept a long life as the gift that it is. Well, what adventure should I live today?

This journey I am on and write about doesn’t reveal anything new; it does reawaken thoughts and questions humankind has been asking for as long as it has existed.

I just read a chapter about time in a 20 year old book written by a Buddhist monk. I didn’t learn anything new because I am well read on the subject, but I did feel joy at meeting truth like an old friend. It seems as if each new bundle of wisdom fits like a glove, as if it finds a familiar fit within the human psyche, as if we already know everything, as if every Eureka moment has been felt a thousand times in this perfect space-time we call existence. Sometimes I see myself as being led forward by Jesus through familiar paths just as I would take a toddler by the hand and lead him across a room, and he looks up at me with trust in his eyes, just as I look to Jesus.

<><><>

7/9/11

We have had such beautiful days lately. I was sitting and enjoying the evening last night, (I am writing this the next day) when I thought about traveling with Jesus, the other mind travelers also thought it was a good idea. We stood wondering where to go because the choices are so numerous but then asked Jesus to take us to a place of his choosing. He always seems pleased to do so, and this evening was no exception.

We walked through the sky tunnel and stepped out in shallow water of about a foot deep. Below the water were ridges built into a flat geometric grid filled with reds and yellow colors. It looked like a vast abstract painting that we were walking on, a design that seemed to go on forever up the beach. Looking up I noticed the all the low hills and distant land had a red hue, but when we walked out of the water onto the land, the ground was polished smooth to form a flat, huge platform leading from the water into an opening in the tree clad mountain. We walked towards a large square opening in the mountain, three times my size, built out of stone with wired animal figures incased into its surface. There was no door so we walked through the opening and into the cool darkness.

Before long, the walkway, strewn with natural light reflecting off the stones led us to a vast cavern filled with thousands of busy people. We stopped at the railing on a high platform far above the workers. Two sets of stairs led far down to the cavern floor, but we decided to stay a while and watch what the people were doing. They all seemed so busy I doubt that they would have taken notice of us if we'd been visible.

For some reason that I couldn’t understand, I kept getting an image of a huge pyramid shape with rounded corners surrounding the working people. Actually I was reminded of a glass beaker in a chemistry lab. I couldn't shake the vision. Was it the mountain hollowed out that I was seeing?

The people were humanoid but I didn't think they were humans from earth. Whoever they were, they were busy at machines and other construction strewn around the cavern for as far as we could see. It was so large, it became dim in the far distance and seemed to have a horizon.

As we watched the people work like busy bees, Jesus sent us information about what was going. It was hard to grasp exactly because it was hard to believe. When we had stepped into the water, the beautiful landscape seemed bare of life. It was. The sun was throwing out rays that the people could no longer stand beneath. They couldn't go outside to visit the outside world. Now they lived and died inside the mountain. But this was no ordinary mountain, they had machined it's insides into a vehicle that would move out of the sun's harmful orbit.

Amazingly, they were in the process of building the largest space ship ever known. The mountain we stood inside was the engine that would propel the whole planet forward into a new orbit. I imagined they must be using thermal heat for energy. Jesus nodded at this idea.

As I watched the people and heard what they were trying to do, I realized this plan must have been hundreds of years in the designing and hundreds more to accomplish. To machine a while world and move it out of orbit seems impossible, but these people were attempting to do so. I knew they would succeed because I knew that Jesus would help them.

Strange that a sun could change to become harmful to the people who evolved on a planet, or maybe not. Maybe they had come from afar. I didn’t know. And wondered why Jesus had taken us to see this strange world. Perhaps to witness the people’s ingenuity and gritty resolve in the face of a coming disaster. Perhaps as a lesson in space mechanics and the way of universal laws that can’t be changed. Or perhaps a lesson in how people can do vast wonders if they would only work together. Will the people of earth ever learn this lesson? I don’t know. We seem like ants running around on an ant hill without purpose. But then, it might have been the severe threat of annihilation that finally pulled them together, too high price to pay for togetherness.

This trip seemed longer but only took few minutes before I nodded good-by to my friends and Jesus. The short trip was so filled with information I could fill pages, but won't. Still, I should have mentioned the green, sparse trees still growing on the mountain side. To me, it looked like a normal, thriving world, but some dangers can’t be seen, like radiation or microwaves. On closer inspection, we might have seen the trees were sick or a special form that could take the sun's damaging rays. The water looked clean but now I wonder why the pattern was a foot below the surface. I think now that it may have flooded to that stage up the mountain. Jesus didn't tell us this, but I might have miss his full explanation about what was going on. I wish the people well and hope they get done on time.

<><><>

7/9/11

Before meditation, I was sitting outside watching a bright red cardinal jump from the fence to a tree and fly around. Who would have thought that fierce dinosaurs would evolve to one day give us humans such delight. I was thinking of evolution and how the angels help direct it. I wondered if people could be blue, green and red.

Jesus told me that people exist who are all colors, but that evolution, even directed evolution, tends toward similar characteristics, camouflage and the need to escape being major to early life forms, hence the lack of bright colors. This seemed to make a lot of sense, but then I thought of bright flowers that do stand out, but for a purpose. I imagine anything is possible in God’s universe, and Jesus has said as much to me at different times. I would like to meet a blue person one day, and may be I will.

For today, on this perfect early summer morning, I just bathed in happiness. Jesus told me to dawdle in it as much as possible. “Accept and enjoy.” He said.

Easy to do. Could a day be more perfect, surrounded as I am by greenery, chirping birds, sunlit patterns dancing in the grass, and dark green areas still in shadow, waiting for their turn at the sun. Well, enough. I decided to meditate here in my back yard this morning.

I met with Jesus at the well and put my fingers in the cool water running down the rocks. I even felt the slime that had built up over time. This well is in the deep dark woods with sunlight streaming through high tree leaves. I can hear small animals skitter through the brush, but am not sure if the birds I hear are here or in my own back yard. I am always awake during meditation.

We walked through the low brush to meet with the others on a small grassy hill, hardly a tall mountain of God but isn't all the earth God’s mountain?

As we joined into a circle, we called children from around the world to join with us, to hold hands. The children giggle at the idea of holding so many hands at once, invisible and fitting into each other. They would dance but I just smile. We all look up to heaven as God fills us with spirit and a soft light that infuses our bodies. As we step apart, the children look at their glowing bodies with wonder.

Then I took the children up into the sky to sit on a cloud. I know, and probably most of the children know that when you are inside a real cloud, it disappears, but that doesn’t matter to us. We sit on solid, white, fluff as if it were a real. We floated over the land and off to sea, watching the many ships leave and enter vast ocean ports. I think we were over China, I am not sure. It doesn’t matter anyway. We just enjoyed the ride and the view. When we saw a whale jump out of the water further out, I took a few of the children with me to investigate. We went beneath the ocean to see the whale, but soon found it too disorientating. We went back up to the cloud. I speculated that we were afraid of getting separated in the dark waves. Silly, but there it was, fear follows us everywhere, even when traveling with the mind.

The next thing we did was jump down to join a fisherman on a small boat. Actually, it was more a raft than a boat and we were no longer in the big ocean, but perhaps in a small inlet. Other boats were scattered about in the distance. The children soon got bored of this too and I nodded that it was time to leave. We jumped back up the cloud to say good-by to each other. Then I went into the house to get my word processor so I could write it all down before I forgot.

I should add that we had more children than we called because children from other times came to join us too, as if time were a river flowing backwards and they chose to stop at our shore and join us for a moment. This makes me feel good because I feel more certain that this writing will live beyond my own life. It is a pleasant thought to end with.

Hubble image 3

7/20/11

Jesus and I walked a lighted path through the galaxy and universe this morning, every step swallowed a giant lump of time. I thought to call a few children to come with us and watched them run and gallop down the path, whereas, I even in such a mental setting, felt my age compared to them, so walked slowly, but with vivid interest next to Jesus. Visions of ordinary life kept intruding but I was able to push them away each time until I was only aware of where Jesus was talking us. The vast and wondrous colors and shapes that filled the universe helped me keep my balance and mind occupied.

Jesus took us to a highly lighted area with many suns and worlds swirling around. It was fascinatingly hard to see definitions in the light. It was like looking at a cloud and seeing many images within, any one of which could be true. The children took all this in stride, perhaps more sure than I was of what they saw. What made it so unordinary was the lack of dark. We are used to seeing pin point stars sitting in dark space, but here the pin points were darkness and the rest was ablaze with star light.

We didn't stay but a minute before we stepped off the path onto a tall mountain on one of the many worlds swirling around its sun. We sat in a circle as huge flakes of snow, flakes as large as my hand, fell all around us. The kids put out their tongue to taste the snow, but of course, could not except in imagination. Finally, we learned that we could block the snow from falling so sat inside a dome of glistening whiteness. This was enough for my mind. I was getting tired and know the few children who still stayed with us, must be tired too. Suddenly, without notice, Jesus moved us to a mountain on earth. How did we know it was an earth mountain? I am not sure, maybe there was a different color to the rock or sky. The adults nodded good-by to the children and watched them pop away.

I had enjoyed sitting knee deep in snow on another planet with the huge flakes falling all around, but I ask myself, what did I learn? What did the children learn? That we could control the place where we sat? That we could control the weather in a small area? That we could escape, for a moment, what we call real life and tramps off to some other place else? I don’t know what the lesson is, but then, maybe, I am too old to know. Maybe only a young child can truly grasp what gift Jesus is giving us. Didn't Jesus tell us a few times in the bible that “Heaven consists of such little ones?

Before ending my meditation, I visited a friend from Africa and learned that he was also calling children to him for a gathering. Like me, he doesn't know the rational for this action either, but accepts it as something that Jesus wants us to do. A few adults from every nation must doing the same. I know at least two American Indians in the western states are calling children to gather in mental prayer.

We adults surmise the short travels might have the purpose of preparing the children for a far off future that only Jesus can see. Other than that, we can't explain it. No matter, a child’s walk in the sky takes only a moment of a young life that has a billion moments still to spend, hardly any time gets used up at all, except in the child's imagination and perhaps one day, in memory.

7/20/11

I can’t help but wonder what it means to have a million dollars in a bank, what must it feel like? But more important—what purpose does it serve? Why do those who have so much, keep needing more? Why not spread it around? Taxes seem to me a good vehicle for doing so, much better than charity because every charity is somewhat demeaning. If the wealth were more equalized, charity would be unnecessary. Yet, sensible or not, many people push and hold on to what they have and still crave for more. Why shouldn't those who are the wealthiest among us support the infrastructure of America, create work for those in need of it, and donate to the well being of everyone. It seems to me that if America is strong, so will be all its people. Why would someone with vast sums to spend feel so horrified by the notion of a tax increase? I truly can't comprehend such a stand.

Also, I wonder, if those of us without those millions will be honestly grateful one day for our lack, because maybe, we had less to waste, less to use up, less to account for in the end. Maybe one day we will stand taller because we were part of the solution instead of the problem.

7/27/11

Now what? What can the 6 million people who have been out of work for a long time do? They are being told that they are not hire-able. Also, people are also cut off from welfare after four, on and off, years, retroactively. I read that some people will have used up those four years soon. The question remains—what are such people supposed to do to pay rent, buy food, feed children, and survive in general. The bigger question is how do the people who represent us not see this suffering?

Are the people without jobs meant to become street people after working and supporting a family their whole life? Or should they resort to grabbing a purse, an ATM machine, bank teller or store? I mean, put yourself in their shoes. What do you do when you have exhausted family and friends and your financial survival become hopeless? You either strike out at the system that did this to you or strike out at yourself.

Surly, this job problem is exaggerated, surly something will come up to make jobs available again. Surly America won’t resort to people dying in the streets, and children running in the snow begging. Remember those movie images recently found of the Jewish ghetto and what happened to them when they were denied jobs by the Natzis? How some people had to walk over and around other people recently dropped dead on the sidewalk—bony people, proud people, people who once thrived, people cut off from self sufficiency. Is this what we want for America—a land of despair and finally, guilt and shame. Has the heart of America grown cold?

7/29/11

I sat at my pond this evening enjoying the trickle of water and the cool breeze blowing across the yard. I didn’t travel with Jesus or even speak much; it was enough to know he stood at my side. I did comment to him that I didn’t know how I came to this state of being, this sense that I have what I need: Peace, quiet, surrounded by pleasant greenery, a home to live in, food in the cupboard, Kali and Princess to love, children and grandchildren to visit. What else could I possibly want? How did it all change to perfect, or was it I who changed?

I ask Jesus this rhetorical question, then I get a silly thought and say in jest, "The world is about to blow up, right?"

Jesus smiles and surprises me by saying, “Not for you.”

Now, there went my peace of mind. What does that mean? I still don’t know. Should I take it as a joke, or what? As a statement of obvious hyperbole? Pretending nothing bad will ever happen to me? Impossible. Nothing ever stays the same. I know it and Jesus knows it and all the world knows it. Well, the evening is still pleasant, if a little warped, and I feel no immediate fear for myself or others. All is well beneath God’s sky, that is, if we don’t look too far over into the horizon.

7/30/11

This morning as I met with Jesus we talked and I thanked him for tolerating my notions and ideas which must seem very outdated and naive to him.

“Because you are so many, many thousands of years old,” I said to him, half in jest.

His answer threw me off my stride.

“You are the only person who perceives me as living through time.” He said to me.

“Interesting. This gave me much food for thought.

But I just had to ask, "Still, Jesus or not, as a man of spirit who lives a very long life, even to the time when humans step out into space, into forever, actually, you must have a hard time listening to outmoded thoughts and ideas such as mine.”

“I am able to set myself into any specific time frame.”

“Ah, that answers how you can tolerate my silly notions and ideas.” I laughed with delight at Jesus inserting himself into our time as our scientists grapple with definitions of time and space.

We both laughed as we walked past the well where I had been sitting and into the green meadow, sprinkled with delightful and varied wild flowers.

As I joined with the others, once again I found the span of time amazing. The others can take a single moment of their life to join in the gathering, and still go about their business, then come back at any point in our travels. I visualized these bundles of time as made up of bubbles hooked together like soap suds and us traveler's only awareness of time with each other is where the bubbles connect, with the rest of our time spent walking around each bubble's circumference. Silly? Maybe.

We called children to join with us as we sent God love. I explained to the new children that is why we gathered into a circle, to show God our love. “You will one day make words to send up to God for these moments. For now, we can send silent thoughts.”

We did and felt God’s light pour into our bodies and souls. Then I asked the children if they wanted to go on a short trip. Of course, they did. So we started walking in the sky tunnel. As I felt the smooth rope-like-wood of the tree’s hand rails, I explained to them, "This belongs to you. It was created for you. You can think of it however you want, as a stairway to heaven, as a sky bridge, or as sky tunnel, but always keep a tree in your concept. One day, when you travel to other planets, you will take the seeds of earth trees with you to spread in the galaxy like Jonny Appleseed spread apple seeds out west. This seemed like a lot to say but it wasn't. I had sent it in a quick bundle of thought and felt pleased because the idea seemed to give a few the older children a smile.

Then we stepped off onto Mars. There was a huge dust storm down below from where we stood on a high rise. We watched it twist and swirl and scour the landscape. “I think it’s huge force would even destroy a space suited person.” I told the kids, “But I am not sure.”

I think one day you or your children will try to tame Mars and you may succeed. Just remember to begin in the deep caverns. Come I’ll show you.

We dropped down into the earth where there were a number of extremely large caverns. The one we entered actually had a dim light source from somewhere. It wasn't needed because we still glowed with God-light and could light our own way.

"One day, people may live here." I told the children. "A very long time ago, maybe millions of years ago, people did live here as their world died."

This was more information than anyone wanted. We were all tired, so I nodded good-by to the few children who remained and watched them pop back home. I hadn’t noticed but a few adults had come with us and also nodded good-by. I began to write down our experience before I forgot most of what we said and did.