9/4/10
I didn’t write much last week or this but I did re-find my center, the spot of silence and awe that all of us should visit often. I have been forgetting to quiet my mind and body, to just become one, to move inward. This day as I sat clearing my mind then opening it again I reached out into a circle around myself. I thought of my dog and pitied it because a dog can’t share in such a mystical experience. Ha, just as I thought this, my dog got up from her bed and came to where I was sitting, licked my hand, then went back and laid down. So who knows what a dog can perceive?
As I stayed in this land of everything I realized how great God is that he allows us humans to share in his universe as far as we dare reach into it. I thought about how God sends light energy into me when I need it. I realized that God is always pouring love around and into us on earth else we would be dead and gone. We exist because we are loved.
I read about Stephen Hawkings statement that there is no God and I am amazed that such a great mind cannot find God. I surmise that what ever religion he is using as a base must be flawed or less than mature. I wouldn’t think to argue with his science which I am sure is true, as far as it goes. But truly, God is far beyond our thinking in any science we humans can dream up and in fact, is a vital part of it. I believe that the universe is the mind of God. When I meditate I can reach out and touch something, as if all was existence and thought. God is the mind that is ever busy creating what entropy will destroy.
Oddly, Genesis doesn’t state that God created the whole universe. It almost reads like God terra-formed the earth just as we might attempt to terra-form Mars one day, in a thousand years(?). Jesus told us he would “Make a place for us.” He did. I call it New Earth. I am not sure where in the Bible it states that God was creator of the whole universe, probably Isaiah or maybe later, Tomas Aquinas. Maybe it is just something we all know? Regardless, I am ever amazed at the fact that God allows us mere humans to know him.
I watched a movie at the science center about the Hubble telescope and couldn’t get over the wonder of it. One thing I saw that greatly impinged on my psyche was the lacy quality of the grouping of stars and galaxies as if we were all living on a lace table cloth knitted by God. I felt completely amazed then and still do that such a vast being would ever step down to become a personal God for any of us little people. But then, we are not little. We as huge as the universe that God shares with us. I wonder if we will ever learn why.
9/5/10
In church this morning as everyone held hands for the Lord’s Prayer, I realized once again that we were all standing on God’s mountain with God pouring out energy and love. As I realized this, I noticed that a number of people who I often meet with on the mountain when I walk with Jesus had come to stand with us and hold hands. Holding hands is a beautiful symbol of unity and this morning we were all united in God.
9/8/10-Thoughts running around in my mind
Those moments when I feel proud to have achieved so much through meditation and Jesus’ teachings never last very long before the truth comes back to slap me in the face: I am but an infant laying naked of mind beneath innumerable minds of great wisdom and knowledge. Though I have learned a much, it pales before the masters. I feel as if I stand at the foot of a huge tree branched out above me, spreading into the universe of light with knowledge I can only imagine. I am a mighty ant proud to reach the main trunk while 90 percent of what I search for is beyond my grasp at the very top of the tree.
Thinking about how we are all climbing the mountain of wisdom, I wondered what would happen if we actually got there, some have, to be sure, but they don't shout out this fact of themselves across the known world. I speculate that if and when a person does get to the top, what would they do then? What to reach for, what to grow towards? All would be conquered, all achieved. I think there'd be nothing to do but go back down the mountain and begin again like the famous myth of syphilis who is doomed to carry the rock up the mountain again and again after it has rolled back down again. Isn’t that what our lives are like here on earth? And maybe the only escape is to step off in spirit or die as a saint headed for heaven.
Speaking of saints, can anyone imagine a well known Catholic saint, who suffered extremes for love of other people, who gave of their self even unto death, just sitting and wallowing in a paradise of heavenly delight? I can’t. Those great people who gave deeply while alive on earth would not stop helping people after they leave this earth. Isn't this what the church teaches? Isn’t this why we pray to saints? Yes. Ha, I have arrived back at the beginning.
The saints are sending their minds from a paradise or heavenly planet back to earth to help people. Love sent from great minds, here or not, is a benefit to all of us. This can be said of all those in heaven, a heaven of living breathing beings. God is a God of the living.
9/10/10
I feel so good. I came up with a good idea for a painting and just 30 minutes ago I was complaining to Jesus that my mind was blank, that I lack enthusiasm, and that I have been feeling down for weeks even months because of this lack.
Jesus said, “You will get it back.”
As I sat here contemplating the world and my relationship with Jesus I began to bemoan not painting for a long while. What’s wrong with me? I thought about many woes in the world and wondered where to send a few dollars to help, I wondered at how people often gather for a cause but I never do although I pray for it, I wonder at how much those on top need to come down to normal level to see what it is like to loose a job or not be able to pay bills, and mostly I wondered about what I needed to do to get back enthusiasm. There is a famous quote: "Nothing great is ever achieved without enthusiasm." How true.
I thought about my travels with Jesus and felt ashamed that I don’t do it very often but remembered Jesus telling me that I had many more years to travel with him and there is no hurry. At least on that subject I am off the hook. Then I thought about that blank board down the basement waiting for my paint brush, wishing I could do abstract, but thought about one painting I liked from the past even though it wasn’t abstract, and Eureka. I suddenly knew what I wanted to paint, what I crave to paint, what I need to paint. I am so happy. I intend to paint a few of us as we walk through the sky tunnel curtain and out to everywhere. I pause for a moment and think about how fortunate I am to have goals that please me. I know the painting will be a challenge from the first decision to the last, but oh what fun I'll have solving them.
After these thoughts I wanted to sit and center myself in silence. I turned on the rosary but kept it very low and began to quiet my mind. As soon as I did, I saw a small, shinning globe, about the size of a soccer ball floating in front of me in vivid 3D. Jesus stood tall behind the globe in spirit form, almost invisible.
I stood looking at the globe floating in front of me about waist high and asked Jesus, "What is it?"
He said, “Everything.”
As he said it, he smiled but didn't elaborate.
I felt puzzled as I imagined the whole universe confined in that tiny floating sphere, then shrugged and returned Jesus' smile. We must be standing apart from what we usually call matter.
I looked down and across the flat land we stood on. Gold surface as far as the eye could see. Jesus took my hand and led me around the globe and forward towards the horizon. We walked for a seeming long while across this vast, empty area towards nothing.
With nothing to visualize, my mind went into overdrive. I thought the gold surface might go on forever. I began to wonder what it would be like to exist forever. Actually, I shuddered at the thought and felt sorry for God at that moment. What could keep a mind, even God’s, busy forever?
Jesus turned and aimed his smile directly towards my face and suddenly, I knew. I knew what could keep God's mind churning on happily forever. It is us—God’s creations. We are a constant source of delight and challenge. Not only are we constantly being created every moment of existence but also we add to the mix what we ourselves create—our ideas, our paintings, our buildings, our civilizations, our laws, our conflicts, our craziness—all have a part in the workings of God. With so many layers of interest to dwell on, how could God ever get bored?
God suggested to me that I think back a moment to my own enjoyment when I came up with a good idea for a painting and my own delight in the idea. I laughed with God. It is all so perfect, everything is perfect. Even the imperfections are a perfect challenge for God. Especially since nothing ever truly dies, certainly no souls die. We are always alive as God is alive and always creating more delights and challenges for God. God is God of the living. No wonder God loves us. I love my own creations too, even when they disappoint.
We were still walking while I had these thoughts. When I stopped, ready to leave, Mary appeared and walked up to me. She gave me a rose bathed in gold light.
God said, “Write down what I have shown you for now and the future.”
This is what I am attempting to do. God wants us all of us to understand better about why we are and how much we are loved. Even those who do evil acts will eventually come back to God, it is all a perfect system of love built up of energy waves from God. Now I need to stop writing, clean the house, shop and think about that painting that I am sure will be as much a challenge as a delight to accomplish.
9/11/10
After my experience with Jesus as God yesterday, this morning’s meditation seemed normal, almost commonplace. Jesus and I talked as we walked to the mountain about angels and my next book, a non-fiction book about angels in our modern world. Jesus knows I will write the book, have written it. Also, Jesus specifically said he likes our gathering on the mountain and joining hands. We talked about many things I can’t remember right now because mental thought is so swift a lot can fit into a single moment.
We arrived at the gathering and I was pleased to see many children there. Jesus took the hand of one child on his left and I took the hand of another on my right as we joined the circle. Many friends were there from other lands also. As a group we called out our love for God and sent out own light into the center of the circle. Suddenly, we were all overtaken with a massive globe of abounding love, enough love-energy to share with the whole world. I turned as did others and watched huge, golden energy waves roll down the mountain and away over the land and seas of earth. Clouds obscured much of my view but imagination took over where I needed it.
I stepped
back to my home feeling like a giant of love and sent it rolling through my
neighborhood and then the city and suburbs. I know I covered all of lower
eastern
9/18/10
This morning I tried to center myself but wasn’t too successful. I think I waited until too late in the morning with too much on my mind. Nevertheless, I did meet with Jesus and he suggested we walk. I walked through the sparse grass rising up to my knees amid scattered boulders and small rocks and thought about the miracle in a single blade of grass. Then feeling curious, I thought about grass I'd seen on different planets and asked if we could walk on another world. Jesus agreed. I think I wanted to check if a blade of grass might be the same someplace else.
This led to a long talk and demonstration by Jesus on the sameness of animals and fauna on all the earth-like planets.
As we walked through grass on one different planet, grass of a slightly different hue because of the not quite earthy sun and air that had a different tang smell, which could have been something local, I wasn’t sure. I learned from Jesus that there is great variation but nothing that would be so strange as to shock me. Jesus explained to me that earth is so diverse and complex that it has many of the same forms that one would find on different planets.
When I asked Jesus to show me something strange on this new planet he suggested that I might not know what is strange because I don’t even know all the things that are considered normal on earth. We both laughed at the truth of it.
We walked near a woodland and I saw a small dog size animal with hair and a round nose digging under fallen leaves. I thought it looked like a warthog, but different. Jesus told me to wait for a moment. We stood watching and when the animal was done digging in the leaves it suddenly moved to another place a few feet away. I hadn’t seen how it moved. I was reminded of that small caterpillar-like life form we watched on Mars a few years ago. This animal looked very normal and seemed easy to categorize except for its strange movement.
Can’t you show me something that is really odd? So far, I could be walking on earth.
Jesus smiled and we walked further into the woods. Suddenly, we stopped to watch a whitish green snake reach its long neck from the ground to snare a small animal. I shuddered at its ugliness, a silly personal dislike, I am sure because it wiggled wrong like a worm. But it wasn’t a worm or snake. We looked closer and it sat on a fat oblong body that lay flat on the ground with leaves and sticks stuck all over the body. A small hole lay on top where its head and wrinkled neck rested when it wasn’t snapping up pray.
As I stood gaping but ready to jump away at any minute, Jesus explained that it had been mobile when young and during this period it built the nest it would live in for the rest of its life.
He 'd certainly found something strange. "We have nothing like this on earth." I told him.
“You have something similar in the ocean.” Jesus said.
I thought of the old saying, form follows function, and thought that it might apply to all life because life evolves to fit the circumstances of its existence.
“What about directed evolution? How does that fit in?”
“Certain life forms and all matter is directed during various phases of development. Directed evolution often means giving a push or challenge to what is already there.
I knew from our talk that life abounds in the universe but some on gas like planets may be too strange for me to understand. Actually, I get the impression that Jesus is taking me on these travels for a purpose and exotic life on other planets don’t fit that purpose.
After this short trip, we stepped back to earth and met with the others. This day I noticed that my usual friends were there but also a few children from other lands and times. Yes, I noticed children who looked different somehow who came from the future to join in this gathering.
We stood together in a circle and our own light substance reached around each of us to solidify the circle, not unlike the gatherings in church where people join hands. I remembered Jesus' statement in the bible that when two or more people gather he was among them. But I also remembered that little ditty that says: When two or more gather for prayer, the devil always builds a temple there. I suddenly felt bad because my thoughts were drifting away, but now, I couldn't help wondering about evil.
“No evil can penetrate here.” Jesus suddenly told me.
I was delighted. This one place, this gathering of dedicated minds upon God’s mountain, this gathering of love is totally free of evil and its influence. It is truly holy ground we stand upon, though the land we stand on is inside our minds. This was wonderful news and it put me back into the right frame of mind to continue in worship and love for God. I certainly wasn't disappointed with God’s show of love for those of us gathered here either. God suddenly blazed brighter than the sun.
9/20/10
I puzzled over a phrase in the gospel passage yesterday that mentioned “the children of light.” When I got home I re-read the passage Luke 16 1-15. This is an unusual phrase and I suspected I knew who Jesus meant but I wanted to be sure. The passage suggests that the children of light will live in a generation that is more money hardened than the one in his parable. I am sure today’s world and the near future are meant.
I know the children of light. They often meet with me to travel in the sky tunnel, stand amid the gathering on the mountain, watch me as I go about daily chores (I gave them permission to do this). They are the next generation who will carry the light forward and hold tight to the worship of God.
9/21/10
I met with Jesus this morning in the same place as we did last time. I couldn’t remember before what the back ground looked like above the golden floor because Jesus and the glowing floor we walked on too all my attention, but this time I took note of the blazing atmosphere of different colors, almost as if we stood near clouds of lighted sparkles, and perhaps we did. At one point in our walk, I felt proud to have reached so far upwards as to communicate with God. I pictured myself as hanging from a tall ladder, I looked down and was amazed at how far I’d climbed, yet, I looked up and saw the ladder rose up further than my eyes could reach. I couldn’t see any end at all.
The ladder’s height didn’t diminish me, I felt delighted that there was still so far to go, that I had finally reached a plateau and looked forward to the many plateaus still ahead. I never want my climb to end. In the midst of all these thoughts, I felt amazement that this little mind of mine, this spot of mental light from the tiny planet earth, could reach up so far into heaven.
Jesus said to me. “This is true of all intelligent life. Each has the potential to climb the ladder of life, a ladder that reaches into infinity. I felt greatly awed and humble to stand and walk with God this day.
“Come, Jesus said, “Let us go join the others gathered on the mountain.”
Suddenly, some children came and took my hand to lead me to the mountain and the gathering for worship. Children of light.
I told Jesus, “They know more than I do about walking in the light, yet they come to get and walk with me?”
The thought sobered me. I stood with them watching how they called upon the light and followed their example. They held hands with us for a short while, hands placed upon other hands in many layers of invisibility, then sent their own light forward into the middle of the circle, chanting their love for God. They lifted their tiny arms towards heaven as golden light poured back upon the circle, flowing down their arms and into their whole bodies and the surrounding atmosphere. All was filled with the liquid light of God, all was energized in gold. Then they turned, holding their arms outward, pointed towards the whole earth and let the energy flow outward in huge waves.
This is similar to what Jesus taught me to do but they spoke certain words as this occurred. I am not sure of their exact words, only the substance, We love you God, please send us your energy of love.
The world looked golden now, with light energy flowing around touching souls and putting a spark of light into them. The golden effect can be hard to believe because we can’t see actual results, can’t see how that tiny spark of light works in a darkened soul, can’t see the results of the thought it might birth in the mind. Wave after wave rolled over the world and no matter the growing darkness, some light-energy outlines the way. At this point, I send light to my family and those I know, many who already love God but who welcome all prayer, all love, and all truth.
9/27/10
I am constantly amazed at the system God has set up for us. No matter where a person is in life or what they become, there is always something more to reach out for or achieve and this includes knowledge as well as wisdom. The wisest person in the world is never done learning or grasping for the next level, levels beyond this world, or levels we can only reach inside the mind. It is as if God gave us the whole universe to play in, if we would only learn how to enter. It may take many life times before we reach the highest pinnacle, and when we think we are done, we look yonder and see higher mountains far off in the distance, or other countries and peoples to explore. It seems as if our reach is never ending, delightfully so because we seem built for this yearning beyond ourselves.
I accept the fact that I need a challenge, I need something to push against so I can finally achieve that great feeling that can only comes after a prolonged effort. If everything were too easy, what would any of us gain? God knows this about us and created us with the ability to fight the battle for our body, soul and heart. We are never meant to stop achieving for ourselves or others. Even in paradise, those sainted ones send their minds out to aid other beings in the universe because the work will never be done. One day we will thank God for this too.
When I meditated this morning and stood with Jesus, I once more saw the globe of everything hanging in front and then the others joined us to encircle the globe as we meditated and worshiped God. We stood on the golden floor with colors blazing in the background and sang a mental hymn to the majesty of God. God reciprocated by filling us and our whole surrounding with light energy and love.
At this point, I then left the gathering to spread the light energy around to my family and into the neighborhood. I didn’t forget to send light to the children in school or the elderly who are sick. I prayed until the rosary with Sister Angelia was finished.
As I looked at the children in school and at myself watching them, I could almost understand God’s enjoyment in us. I imagined God as like a parent watching their child take their first baby steps, sometimes forward but as many times back, but always delighted in the child’s progress because we know that it will continue. I feel as if I am that child taking its first steps as I learn how to meditate and step off the world to travel with Jesus. My progress is slow, even so, I write about it because the real progress will be for people in the future to achieve one day. Jesus taught us this new step in the continual unending journey of life.