3/4/11

Leonard Pitts’s column today was about God, and as usual, his talent far surpassed my own, even when he defines God. “God is feeling.” He said. A simple statement, but I recognized it immediately as true. “God is not proven. God is felt.” He goes on to say, plus, and I am so glad I don’t fit into the fundamental groove of: “Those people who know what Jesus had for breakfast.” Ha. In fact, I accept my ignorance. The only thing I know for sure is that Jesus never speaks against any group, or religion. After all, he understands each of us and gives us plenty of space to be who we are, even if we disbelieve in his existence.

3/5/11

I think I am getting too old to contain the sorrow and pain of people, so I’ve been avoiding the news about Libya and the people’s struggle; yet, this morning I couldn’t help but think of them, so after gathering together, a few of us went to give spiritual support, if we were able.

My heart went out to the mothers who were walling in pain and sorrow. I went to the bed with a young boy injured with his mother leaning over him trying to ease his pain, somehow. I tried to ease her emotional pain. Another child, a young girl with fat cheeks and beautiful black eyes that kept opening and closing seemed in ok, so I tried to tell this to her mother, but doubt if she heard me because she was experiencing too much trauma herself. I hugged each child for a long time hoping the angels would help their healing. I also went to an injured man who was in severe pain with no pain relievers. He was suffering greatly and I tried to help. I can’t do much for people, and this hurts me too. I could see the pain in his dark eyes. These people are in great need of medical equipment and other support. I hope our country is helping with this, at least.

3/7/11

Father Thomas is always talking about the great gift of live God gave us, so much so that he honors people with birthdays that week every Sunday, calling them up to pray the Our Father at the alter with the other servers. There were a few Sundays that I couldn’t agree with his attitude and love of life. Quite often, this precious life God gave us—hurts. Thinking about it today, with my closeness with Jesus assured, my life evened out with age, and my circumstances more settled, I find life as a gift easier to accept. Yes, life is a precious and never ending gift from God.

It is this forever unending aspect of life that can really take your breath away, for good or bad. The soul is not made up of matter therefore it can’t be crushed like matter, an unproven theory to those who don’t believe in the soul. I wish I could convince them otherwise and save them agonies undreamt of in their philosophy. I can’t. Even if this writing I put on the web becomes effective, it won’t be until long after I am gone, I think.

3/9/11

Amid a few serious problems I need to take care of with my mind swirling this way and that, I took the time to sit and try to calm the jumble of images and worries so I could visit with Jesus. This is the beginning of Lent, and what better day for a visit. I hardly know what to do special for lent and as I racked my brain to think of something, I realized that learning to hold my focus better would be a good challenge. That is what I decided to do plus giving up something I like.

During our visit, I wondered if Jesus agreed with me because he told me when I was doing better. Still, there were moments when I drifted away completely. The wonder of the human mind would be greatly expanded if we could just learn control, a control that I seem to lack when I need it most. Nevertheless, Jesus told me I did good. What he meant was that I did better for a few moments and I still have a long way to go.

None of that mattered after Jesus showed me an image of himself that thrilled me with pleasure for a very long moment, and, as it turned out, many days to come. I had been thinking of working on my relationship with God, improving it somehow; then, as I stood next to Jesus at the stone well, Jesus’ chest turned into a cascade of light shooting rays out filling the air. It was something like the painting on my main web page, of Jesus heart glowing in light rays, without the heart, and more awesome and astonishing than I could have ever dreamed.

I think Jesus was showing me that the son is like the father and I don’t need to worry about my relationship with God because it is full and ongoing. Since this morning, I keep going back to that image in my mind. The image of Jesus is so beautifully awesome, everything time I remember it, it smoothes down my emotions, even through a flooded basement, stopped up sewer, and mud sucking driveway, fixed now as I edit this writing.

3/12/11

I couldn’t help crying with fear and sorrow as I watched the video from Japan. I don’t know how to help the people and am thankful that our government will try.

3/12/11

This morning’s lesson for directed at me, and now I realize I was in great need of it. I had been thinking of others who are young, expecting help to be at the end of a phone call, maybe some who hadn’t kept up bills because they assumed help was just around the corner. These people may have acted stupidly but we shouldn’t call think of them as dumb, they just haven’t learned yet. This same attitude applies to every walk of life and situation. It is true of all of us. Earth is our class room; we are here to learn.

This morning before I even drank my coffee, Jesus told me I would need my word processor because I would want it this morning; even so, I didn’t expect much to happen during meditation. A lot did, but it turned out to be a lesson for me. I have been ranting and raving lately about the price of auto insurance and water doubling and everything else going up just because we have a political system that needs buyers as much as sellers, but buyers can buy without jobs, etc. I was going to write about how the system favors the rich, but why write? Have I become an old fogy who just wants things to stay the same, (when I began driving there wasn’t any such thing as “No Fault”) or am I seeing a real problem in play here? Well, hasn’t there always been problems aplenty?

I had a hard time clearing my head of these thoughts this morning. When I met with Jesus, he implied that I wasn’t seeing clearly enough, that I should be doing more to encourage people to pray, that I, myself, still had much to learn, and suddenly, I saw the truth of it.

As I met with the others and held hands, I apologized to each one of my friends for my own ignorance. Here I am complaining about a system that is supposed to care, but doesn’t always, while forgetting that real help comes from, God. Why haven’t I been telling people this? Now is the time to tell people, now when they hurt and need assistance. I would never push anyone towards God, but soft sell might work, and what better time when people are searching for help? Now is when the force and power of heaven can do them the most good.

As I learned this truth Jesus, once again, stood in front of me with rays of light flowing from his center. He then reached out and touched each of my hands with his own. My heart jumped with pleasure. Then Mary from my upper right, reached down and handed me a yellow rose along with a smile.

So now I am calm, no longer raving about the problems we all face, (that was true until I saw the video of Japan on the computer this morning). I am determined to do more then move people with prayer, from now on, I am going to suggest, where I can without sounding pushy, that they pray for themselves. The angels have told me that if I pray when I tell someone they will find a job, they will, that if I tell someone they will get better, they will. They also explained that I should be careful who I promise. I believe that if I tell a person to pray to God for help, the angels will see to it that hat help arrives after they pray. I am enthused about this new turn of events and can’t wait to begin.

3/13/11

Jesus was vivid and real as he stood near me in church this morning. When the choir began to sing Old Rugged Cross during the offertory, I kept busy digging in my purse for my wallet so I wouldn't burst into tears. Jesus said to me, “Cry Diane, cry.” Well, that's all I needed. The tears and sniffles began. Jesus was giving me permission to let my emotions go, but I had been afraid I couldn't stop them once they started. He knows I can’t stand the fact that he gave himself up to suffer, that I avoid the cross when ever I can. He forgives me this fault. Yet, I realize that I need this release and am thankful for songs like The Old Rugged Cross. The song makes me picture myself touching the cross and getting a sliver in my finger. How trite my tiny pain. This thought makes me cry harder, for a few minutes more. As usual, I intend avoid the Good Friday service, but I will think of Jesus and visit with him. How could I not? I believe this year I will go sit on a bench at Belle Isle for a while between 12:00 and 3:00 pm.

3/14/11

When I met with Jesus this morning I wanted to tell him that I know that I don’t deserve to know him. I didn’t mention my thought because it is so obvious as to be trite. Who am I to see and speak with Jesus? And here he was standing in my living room. I suddenly understood that he felt great pleasure in sharing himself, like a gift, such as we might feel pleasure in giving a present to a child.

I have noticed that when Jesus gives of himself, or creates a miracle someplace in the world, there is a good reason. Certain people are converted or some people's faith is made stronger and other reasons beyond my knowledge. With me, when Jesus stands vividly close, it is usually a teaching moment, one I usually need to figure out for myself.

I don’t always know why I can see Jesus so clearly. Sometimes I can even feel energy flowing from his presence. We all know that Jesus is in church during mass, so why doesn't everyone see him? I wonder if I am just too stupid to know I can't, or daring enough to believe I can, and so do? Well, I don’t know the answer. I have speculated that I was born to see Jesus for some specific reason that only he knows. I am so positive that Jesus was standing next to me Sunday during mass, standing as the Holy Spirit, slightly above and to the right of me that I would stake my life on that fact.

I promised myself I would develop my focus better during Lent, but couldn’t do it for a while this morning. I knew I needed to go to Japan, but felt afraid to see their pain. I already went to a young lady who was injured but was now in a shelter, still shocked from the event; still, she knew I was there. I comforted her as best I could. The thought kept running through my mind that she had months and months to go before her life might get back to normal again. I hugged her to let her know I shared her fear. That is all I could do, and I felt helpless. I also went to a small child who was buried beneath rubble. I knew she would soon be rescued. People were digging for her and I whispered to her that she would be ok. When I visit with someone like this, all I can see is the immediate surroundings, and this little girl with her fat cheeks, was surrounded by dust and debris but otherwise in a large pocket of space that helped her survive.

I saw a number of my friends there, those of us who gather on the mountain. They looked like glowing ghost lights in fog. I believe they arrived right away to give comfort where they could right after the disaster. I also saw angels directing rescuers to look in specific places for survivors, although they didn’t know the angels were helping them. This makes me wonder if angels have always helped the dogs search out people and if dogs can seem them. Just an odd question. I don’t know the answer. I don’t think my prayers were effective as they should have been today, but I hope my silent, invisible hugs were.

3/16/11

This morning I needed prayer and needed to give comfort to those who I could in Japan. I have talked with one lady in a shelter off and on for the last few days. I told her not to worry about radiation because I thought they might pour cement on the reactor like was done in Russia, that is if they can't cool them with water. I spoke to her of the great resilience God give gave to us humans and assured her that her people would come out on top once again. Our conversation was easy because I think she is a person who gathered with us on God’s mountain. I also went to other people to try and whisper comfort in their ear. As I did, I saw many other people walking around in spirit form doing the same. I know most people can’t see God’s light-energy, but to me their spirit bodies looked like beacons glowing through thick fog.

I imagined piles of blankets and coats and food packages arriving at the shelters and hope this is true. The people seem still in shock but determined to tough it out. Amazingly, or not, I saw two children, a boy and girl, sitting together on the floor, playing finger games and smiling. Children seem able to shrug off disaster like water on a duck. I have great hope for them.

Great hope will be needed by all of us in the coming years. We have already changed the weather and are facing more severe weather patterns. In the bible, Jesus told us that it would come from the sea, a reference I can find now. Is this what he meant? Greater hurricanes and tsunamis? Another big one will happen in the next few years. I don’t know what is causing more earthquakes activity. Surly the changing the weather can’t effect the inside of the earth? Surly nature is to blame? I think our scientists need to ask why quakes are increasing in severity and number. Maybe I am wrong in this.

3/17/11

I made another promise to Jesus about Lent. I need to use more self control. Twice in the last few days, I raised my voice at someone, once in Kroger because they charged me double the price and once on the phone when I learned my Direct TV contract ran for two years instead of one. I like to blame my thyroid, but that is a copout. My lack of control seem doubly bad because just that morning God filled me with light during meditation. How could I abuse God's light-energy so quickly? How could I so easily forget his love and promise that all will be well? I guess it is like Father Thomas said, "The devil is always busy." Whether within or without, he was certainly busy with me this week.

3/18/11

This morning when I met with the others on God’s mountain, they suggested that we walk over the whole of the earth. Like me, they too have a concern for what is happening with the plates of the earth. We stood in a circle and asked God to give us strength and energy. We then centered around the country of Japan for a long moment, each of us sending God’s light energy to spread through the people who still in great need, hoping the energy covered the land and spread downward to below the surface. Next, we walked in a line across and around the whole circumference of the earth, through China, Indonesia, the Middle East, Europe before crossing the Atlantic and stepping onto America, then back through the pacific ocean. As we marched around the globe, many people joined us, all those people who were thinking of God, even though many of them may not have realized they had joined in the march. A whale joined us when we reached the Atlantic and stayed with us. As we marched, we sent a calming, loving, wave of God' light-energy towards the center of the earth and over the surface as high as the sky.

As I marched, I pictured the solid rocks below and tried to imagine them quiet and steady, crunching maybe, but slowly, without great stress. When our march was completed, a few of us dropped our spirit bodies into the center of the earth and sent out love and quietude hoping to smooth the dynamics of earth, and to assure they run steadily and without excess. A too great and no doubt useless attempt to calm our heaving earth, at least on my part. Perhaps the others, more capable than I, did better. I think I hurried too fast in our walk without a sharp enough focus. I recognize the great ability of a few of the other people and felt thankful they asked me to join in their march.

I also asked Jesus to please help the workers in Japan to cool down the reactors. I think it is vital for all of us.

3/19/11

We know with certainty that our ongoing warm-up of the earth causes extreme weather; record breaking storms, heat, and floods in different places, and now it seems that we must add earthquakes to the mix. Earthquakes are caused by one continental plate grinding over or across another, sliding over fluid, fluid with properties that can change to effect the lifting and settling of the plates, fluid that has increased with the melting of the glaciers, lifting up because fluid weighs less than ice. So in effect, we have only ourselves to blame for the more frequent and intense disasters. In Revelation there is mention of an earthquake so strong it is like one the earth has never seen before.

There is scientific debate about the actual cause of the more intensified and frequent earthquakes of recent decades, but isn’t there always? While the problem just continues. I have heard that some people are still denying the fact of global warming, no doubt, those who fill their pockets with profit from it. Regardless, it is probably too late to change things. What can most of us can do? We could try voting for the right people while keeping our own footprints small.

I have been thinking all week about Jesus visiting me in church last Sunday. To say that I am unworthy of such a visit is stating the obvious. Thinking of this, I played at being the devils advocate in an attempt to debunk my own vision. I couldn’t do it. I thought about someone pretending to be Jesus and appearing to me, but that raises the question of just who has the power do such a thing? Very few people, that’s for sure. Perhaps a gifted person who gathers with us might be capable of doing something like that, but such a person, a person who follows Jesus and heaven, could not appear as a lie. So that leaves the dark angels. Could one of them have pretended to be Jesus? I don't believe so, and I will tell you why not. I think the dark angels must use a person for most of their acts. Don't think they haven't tried to imitate Jesus or others, but the result is jerky and fake. Only those who walk in the light can lift up into the light, or appear as light shinning with the aura of heaven. When God grounded the serpent in Geneses, He grounded it to heaviness, to crawling upon the earth, to never stepping off. Geneses is a myth, true, but the serpent or Satan is an olden god and no myth. I believe that most intuitive humans can detect the difference between the dark angels and those angels who work for Jesus.

I concluded that the appearance of Jesus as the Holy Spirit was true and valid, just as I believed it to be while it happened last Sunday. Even so, Jesus' visit didn’t seem to have a point, but Jesus often demands that we do our own thinking, so for all I know, writing about Jesus’ visit may have been the point. I like to speculate and ask questions, and Jesus, knowing this about me, often throws out ideas for me to toss around.

All this writing and I haven’t even turned on the rosary or began to meditate. Well, it is enough for now so when I gather on God’s mountain top this morning, I’ll not write about it. I have so much to do in the yard, as soon as I am done meditating, I intend to get out there and begin picking up and clearing out.

I have recently realized that one of the best ways to bring more religion into a person’s life is through humor. A good religious joke can be like a koan, or proverb, with words that reach directly into the soul, potentially waking up avenues in the mind little explored. What better way to break through that wall of stubbornness and obstruction many people put up against religion. Jesus wants us to help turn people towards God, to save every person's soul, in any way that works, but often, nothing does. Certainly not lectures or arguments and for some people, not even miracles, else the whole world would be turning to Jesus because he has orchestrated so many. So, on the idea that every inch into the soul is a inch won for God, I welcome the telling and spreading of religious jokes, even during sermons. My only problem is remembering them long enough to repeat them to others without messing up. Isn’t a good chuckle is worth a thousand words?

3/28/11

A group of us were talking about ritual after church Sunday. I like it when we talk about a deep subject, but it is rare because any subject during the little social gathering changes quickly. The idea being thrown about was that ritual can seem redundant and unnecessary, like needless pomp, but on the other hand, some of us agreed, humans seem to need it. I was thinking of this and realized that I create my own rituals for important occasions, like when I meet with Jesus and we walk to the gathering. I always sit by a watery well right after we meet and I put my hand in to the cold dripping water and watch it sparkle in the dappled sunlight, sniff the earthy and pregnant green growth in the nearby woods. Jesus usually stands while I sit. I think of myself as getting orientated in this new, mental space, but in truth, I have created a useful ritual, with variations, but always the same theme. I also use a ritual when I walk in the sky tunnel and taught the children to do the same. Oddly, this isn’t true when the children gather with us to join hands.

My personality leans towards visual and feeling, so I hardly ever say ritualistic prayers when we join into the circle. To me it is enough to stand amid the others and watch and feel the glow of God enter my body. But thinking of the children and how they may not understand what is going on, I tried to think up words to say in praise and thankfulness to God for them to say.

Jesus broke into my thoughts and told me not to do this. “Let the children develop their own prayers,” he said.

His words reinforced in me how important it is that children join us in the gathering, and learn their own ritual for it. This morning, I tried to call many children together from all over the world. I imagined their faces and asked them to stand and hold hands with us. I think that was enough as a invitation because everyone accepted. Time is relative during the gathering so it didn’t matter what the children were dong at the time, the time is always right, and very short lived, 30 seconds or less.

Perhaps because it is spring I thought of these children who joined in the circle with us while God poured light into their souls, as seeds standing on fertile soil, seeds being nurtured into eventual bloom by the warmth of God energy. Like Jesus’ mustard seed, the idea of gathering together, mind to mind, will grow as more children learn to stand in a circle and call on God for nourishment and fulfillment. This won't happen soon. The children are too busy playing with technology for a vast movement to grow. Yet, it is Jesus who orchestrates this movement, so I have great faith that it will somehow continue, but I also have great fear that it will become necessary one day after a great disaster and breakdown of civilization. Regardless, even if this is true, Jesus has assured me that he will be here, he will lessen the blow, he will always care for us.

Most of us, adults and children are too distracted with the profusion of phones and other quick communication in our life to learn to speak without it, and this is probably a deliberate act of the enemy, but isn’t that true for most things in our dim, clouded world? So this knowledge doesn’t bother me. I know that light will win out in the end, how could it not?