4/6/12
I remember
back 20 years ago I looked at my books and thought to keep them for my
grandchildren as having great value because I learned the secrets of the
universe from them. Now I see what a strange idea that was for a number of
reasons, one of which is that no one wants books any more. But the other reason
is even more weird; it is because the plateau I reached back then has been
superseded at least ten times. Like many other philosophy minded people I seem
driven to search for truth, but every time I think I finally understand it, the
truth has changed and grown beyond me. I jump from one plateau to the next in
stairway system of
Sometimes, I feel like a child looking up to a parent with a stubborn know-it-all gaze because I reached a new plateau. Silly. It doesn't take long to find that I don’t know anything, or rather, there is so much to know and learn in this universe that it would take a billion more lives living in a billion places traveling to a billion worlds, and the best part of all this is that God gave us a mind that could understand this fact, and derive hope and wisdom from it.
Imagine a million years ago as a hairy one of us sat in a tree within a universe that was so small we could walk or climb it in a day. Even then, God saw our potential, our rise up towards heaven. Then to protect and save us from our most stupid acts, he sent prophets and finally his son Jesus, who agreed to die so horribly that we would never forget, who gave his life so we could live to enter heaven and continue through the billion plateaus God had set out for us. Is there anything more amazing?
4/6/12
At noon I went to St. Hyacinth church and listened to the wonderful chants and laminations, sung in Polish. I suspect it is my inability to follow the words that helps make the experience so profound. I didn’t stay for the full 3 hours of service because I had my student from china with me, but I didn’t need to. I felt truly holy and revived in body and soul by the time I left the church. Sadly, this church is slated for closing before too long, and I wonder what place will be left to listen to such solemn voices, voices that sing about God so nicely that the sound seeps into the soul and quiets it.
As I sat there in church listening with awesome pleasure, I asked Jesus, “What do you want me to say about this day?”
Jesus said, “You have already said it.”
4/7/12
I realized while reading the article in Time, “Heaven Can’t Wait” that Jesus is the hub, the hub of the wagon wheel that turns the earth, the wheel that reaches into humanity’s past as well as its future. We think of time as linier but it isn’t.
What caught my eye in the article was a young boy seeing Jesus in white with angels. People should understand that Jesus loves each of us greatly and so gives us what we want. If we have a sudden view of heaven, Jesus gives us the view we expect to see. If we want angels with wings, we will see angels with wings. All this has a real purpose, which is to encourage us in our faith. Jesus teaches us individually by constantly moving each of us forward in our understanding. The goal is change for the better, and on whatever path we choose to walk, Jesus will be there to guide us.
4/8/12
Each Easter is wonderful because it keeps Jesus resurrection alive and vivid to our minds. I try to avoid Good Friday and ask, why is it called good? I guess it is as Jesus hinted before his death, we can’t have a resurrection without a death. True, but it still hurts and puzzles me. I wanted to know more so asked Jesus to explain it to me a few years ago.
I was wondering about the angels who helped him while he was on earth. I wanted assurance that there was no trick or magic to his death or resurrection. I cringed at my daring and thought I deserved to be hit by lightning. Jesus laughed as he answered me and I will never forget his words.
Jesus said, “I really died horribly, and I arose on my own.”
Jesus explained further, but I don’t know if I can do his words justice here because he sent it to me in a sudden understanding. What I understood was that because Jesus was Lord, his extreme suffering on the cross brought his mind/body to the ultimate enlightenment, par excellence. In other words, Jesus became able to re-form his own body into light. He didn’t need the angels help for this. He was an example of the perfect human, a demonstration, if you will, of mankind achieving Godhood.
Now, thinking back, I can smile at my ignorant worry. I will never again wonder if Jesus as a mere man who stepped into the past to die for us. Jesus was Lord in the beginning, Lord in the future, Lord while a man on earth, and Lord now. It was my own silly ignorance that questioned how. Sure, if any of us could go back in time we might do wonders too, but we still would not be a God, although the people might label us so because our gadgets could do magic.
Jesus did get support from the angels, it says so in the bible. They set the donkey up to await Jesus' need for the last supper and they helped in other small areas. So, yes, even though some events might seem like a SF story, so what? We needed to read it then and we need to read it now for the wisdom and enlightenment and hope it gives us. Jesus as Lord knew exactly what we humans would need to keep us turning towards God through the centuries. Sad to say that it took an extreme, agonizing death on the cross to make us sit up and take notice. Thankfully, we remember the resurrection too.
4/11/12
I thought about what Father Thomas said in church the other day, about each of us thinking we are the center of the universe. How true. I noticed that no matter what I did, I couldn’t get rid of the feeling of being important, of wanting to become, wanting to show off. I want my writing to be noticed, my art, my life. I wondered how to dash such thoughts of grandeur.
I asked Jesus. Jesus has said before that it is ok to feel a sense of pride in accomplishments if we don’t carry it too far. Is it too far to think such thoughts in your mind? What are they? Maybe a survival trait? Then everyone must have this same inner drive to be king of the hill? Can we ever get rid of it; should we?
When I asked, Jesus told me that ultra-humans, people living in the far future will be able to manage their drives into a grandness we can’t understand right now. So it must be a primitive urge within us that we humans needed once. I wondered if I could get rid of it during meditation. I wanted to look into myself and see.
For some reason, when I gathered with the other adults and children, I felt stranded and apart. I panicked because I couldn’t find God. The more I tried the worse it got. My friend told me to relax and just let it come. I kept trying, but almost half the rosary played out in the back ground before I got hold of myself. For those moments, I was afraid that I had lost my ability to find God and feel the golden energy. It was silly of me. There had been other times when it took a while to actually feel God enter my soul as I stood in a circle. This is normal I kept telling myself until I did feel God. I felt God in every pore and cell and knew I was ok.
Jesus told me to write about my effort because it would show people that I struggle too. It isn't easy to let go of perceived reality and recognize God's energy. I am sure Jesus helped me in the beginning, but I also wonder if my difficulty means that I am moving into a different kind of meditation. Sometimes struggle is a sign of change. Jesus is ever moving me forward.
This morning, as I stood with the others, while filled with God, I tried to get rid of everything that was me. My wants, my needs, my drives. I watched my body disperse and become like air. Even so, something remained, a spark like a tiny light. I knew this was the center, the part of each of us that is God, the part that lives forever.
Then I was myself again, but now, lit up with God energy through and through. I saw that the children were also. This pleased the kids and I explained that this was God energy, a power that they would share with everyone they knew and loved. I felt good too knowing that I need not worry about inner feelings and needs. It will all work out in the end. All I needed to do is keep the selfish drives under control by using what I can for good.
4/14/12
I put on the chants this morning because I really wanted to feel close to Jesus and think about nothing, I just wanted to be. It felt wonderful by Jesus side as we flowed through the universe, amid the million shades of hues and suns. By the time the others joined us, I was totally relaxed and open to anything Jesus wanted to show us. We saw such strange shapes that most are hard to describe and I couldn’t imagine what created them. One shape was obvious because it looked like a whirlwind the size of a galaxy. We watched a million planets, trees, people animals and flowers and everything one can imagine flow out of the white light of the Source. I understood that it was ideas that were flowing from it and although we seen it as a specific Source, it was actually everywhere. The scientists searching for the basic substance of the universe are correct when they suspect it is fuzzy, that it is made up of information. It so wondrous.
Jesus explained that the nebula is made up of dust just as we thought, but it is so beautiful. We went to one place where it looked like a pink multipetaled flower. And other places flowed with strange shapes like soft, insubstantial ribbons twisting around each other. Truly amazing. I wondered at the slowness of the movements in the universe or fastness of ourselves and what makes the difference.
Jesus offered to take me to heights unimaginable but I wasn’t sure if I was up to it this morning so held it a s a promise for another day. Then my dog began barking and broke my relaxation mood. I saw that a half hour had passed and so dropped out of space back into myself. Still, I was thinking how Jesus likes to show us different areas. I worry that he will show me something that is so far beyond the usual that it will be impossible to write about. Imagine if we showed a computer to a person in the dark ages. They’d toss it aside as a piece of junk. When Jesus takes me to that height of perception, I don’t want to think of it as impossible; I want to understand what he is showing me. That is why I decided to wait. And now, thinking about it, I can’t wait. Ha.
4/18/12
I haven’t been doing well on the side of concentration lately, though Jesus tells me I am ok. Thinking about this in the morning, I wondered why Jesus would say that, I mean, what makes me ok and what is the purpose of it all? Then I remembered the kids and that might be the purpose. I wonder what this touch of imagination, these walks through the sky-tunnel will tree take them in later years? I think the main purpose is to show them the power of their mind, that walking beyond perceived reality is possible. Well, I hope it means more than they should become astronauts. Surly, Jesus believes in what we are doing, and sense Jesus is driving this movement, it must have a heavenly purpose.
This brings up another idea, can the mind-walks be used by those with evil intent? The human ability to reach out to another person mind-to-mind certainly can; witness the murder/suicides in the middle east and elsewhere that bin laden started by promising paradise. He spoke to the people mind-to-mind and who could disbelieve a voice that speaks to you inside your head about those infidels.
Well, enough said. It seems that anything we humans learn can be used for good or evil, but not the sky-tunnel. Jesus told me once that the sky-tunnel cannot be used for evil, that if an army were to try and cross it, the tunnel (or bridge to the universe) would collapse. I also have Jesus assurance that we humans won’t be allowed to physically go beyond our own solar system until we wise up and learn to treat other life with respect.
We will if we keep growing. I just read about how people long ago (the Israelites among others) used babies and other people for sacrifice. We all shudder in horror at such an act and ask why? They must have been so primitive they frightened easily at every change in nature? We have made great progress since then and will continue to make progress, regardless of the few backward steps.
At the
moment, my mind jumps to
I got off the subject of teaching kids to walk in the sky, but I think I found the answer. No matter what happens, whether we fail to come to grips with civilization by destroying ourselves or improve upon it to grow wise and old, their talent of stepping beyond the normal reality will serve them well along with those who they teach to do the same. What Jesus has begun will continue until we reach the stars.
4/21/12
As I walked with Jesus this morning, I couldn’t help wondering about modern society and if it is important in a world’s evolution. We were on Tree World again watching the children play and the people go about their business in a unhurried manner. The little bots were in evidence here and there. One was always with us and the children. These people can detect us and their children can see the children who came with us. They were playing together, climbing up rope ladders, jumping off onto a soft springy mat of growth, then playing in a water fall that sprouted every-which-way as the water hit the rocks and the children rode down it like on a slide.
I stood with Jesus and the others watching their playfulness and wondering if this was enough. Should this contentment go on forever or should these people expand to learn industry and technology. Their holy ones obviously didn’t think it should change. But isn’t change important in the scheme of things. Will these people one day use instruments to read the stars?
I don’t know the answers to these questions and wondered if even Jesus knew. Maybe I am asking the wrong question; maybe time is supposed to stand still; maybe strife and conflict are not supposed to exist here.
But then Jesus took us to another continent on the same world, a continent not under the care of the holy ones. I didn’t see war, but I felt strife in the air. It was still an undeveloped society; the people used arrows to hunt. I heard babies cry, people shout, some group running through the brush. This noise itself was evidence that this place was different from the other.
We stepped back to that other and took special note the people’s actions. They were playful and quiet as they went about their business of living. I didn’t hear a baby cry for very long here. I saw a man carrying a huge fish to share with others. It looked like these people were happy and content.
Yet, I still need to ask if this is enough. Will the people of the other content come and disrupt their peace one day? Jesus tells me that they will try. I wonder if we are watching a very early evolution of people. Maybe, but maybe not. Time is un-measurable as we walk from our world to another. What moment are we visiting in its stream of time? Are we in the people’s past or future? Who can say. Jesus usually doesn’t say, maybe because it is irrelevant. With space and time involved, it is dumb to ask when. Whatever time we visit, just is.
Jesus acts as if this were true, as if there is all the time in the world, or the universe, to accomplish everything. As if each setting on every world was a stage playing out in the now, and no other time matters. Well, he is letting me do my own thinking as I sit here writing after leaving Tree World. I left because the questions nagged at me. They still do because I doubt if I could understand the answers.
Ah, now Jesus has entered the fray with a smile as if to say, you finally got it. Oh, well. Maybe I finally did.
4/24/12
I have been thinking and wonder if we in the west are late comers when it comes to communication with other people mind to mind. It may take training and the ability to sit still and concentrate for long years before it becomes available to someone. I am not sure because it was Jesus who first clued me in. Still, it seems to me that others are more familiar with mental communication than I have been. Yet, no one speaks of it. It is like a bubble that will burst at the hint of mentioning it out loud. I write of it, but writing of it seems ok. Eastern religious traditions have taught people to sit and reflect. I think with Zen you could do so with none the wiser. Also, I think some Christian groups have learned to speak mentally to avoid “some kind of evil” listening in on their speech, a wise decision maybe, but who knows? I speculate that even a vast computer couldn’t keep track of seven billion people at one time. [the enemy in my new book] I have noticed that if I speak out loud of wanting to do something a number of times, kinks come along that seem to push against it. This has happened over and over so many times I begin to wonder about what is going on. I leave it to the reader to figure it out. I can’t.
Also, because the Jews began believing in a source of evil shortly before Jesus birth, (according to a lecture on “Why Evil Exists”). I think that is when something began to haunt us, and may explain why Jesus chose to be around at that specific time in history. Also, Jesus said he saw Satan fall from the sky. This is just speculation on my part but it all seems to fit. Jesus hasn’t corrected me in any of this so may be it is true.
4/24/12
I really wanted to go to Ribbon World today, though I am not sure why. We gathered on a mountain each of us with a few children and called to God. I remembered how Jesus said the children would learn to sing a prayer to God, so I kept silent and called with my mind. I thought of God as being the substance that underlies the whole of the universe and how we are made of atoms that are almost empty. I could imagine how God substance blows through us all the time, but when God enters us on the mountain, maybe the energy slows down for a few seconds, long enough to fill us with God light. Just and idea, but new ways of looking at things can often shed light and bring wisdom.
Then we took the children into the sky-tunnel and stayed for a while as we explored the twisted rope-like flooring and windows growing in the wood and ran our hands over the smooth sides that pulsed with life. I explained to the children that if an army or a group full of hate were to try to walk the sky tunnel it would collapse. Only good can traverse into other places in the universe.
We walked up the sky-tunnel to its end and stepped onto the moon then looked down at the blue marble of earth. Then we stepped back in the sky-tunnel, turned, and stepped off onto Ribbon World.
We landed in scrub brush with scattered trees on a hillside. From there we could see down into the hallow and watch the thick air and the people walking and turning in swirling patterns with heads bowed while the ribbons floated among them. We led the children down to the end of the line and we followed.
A yellow ribbon came to me and slowly entered my chest. I felt the ribbon slide through and felt wonderful as it did. I knew I would receive wisdom from it and it would take information from me at the same time. Jesus told me later that a ribbon went to each of the children too.
When we walked back up the slope, I told the children that the ribbons were like computer strings of information, but also like small Gods. I wasn’t sure which definition they would accept, or even which was correct, but they seemed to have enjoyed the experience. We nodded good-by and they popped back home.
I think this field of fuzzy dandelions is beautiful.
4/29/12
It is seems very odd to me that sometimes I can see Jesus and sometimes I can’t. I saw Jesus in church this morning as we sang the Lords Prayer. He stepped over to one or two people and touched them. I saw Jesus at my home later as well. I wondered about it, wondered if there was some special reason, but I don’t think there was, at least, not that I can tell. I am not sure if I am more capable of perceiving Jesus at certain times or if Jesus visits at various and different times. It is a puzzle and will probably remain one.
I did mention to Jesus that I might write about seeing him in church. He smiled and told me that was ok and reminded me that I could write anything he shows or tells me. Well, sometimes it is hard because I don’t understand it myself. All I can do is keep trying. Which reminds me of something he said to me in regard to the angels, he said everyone has bodies. I assume he means that the angels are physical beings (someplace) who can travel spiritually at will.