1/1/12
Jesus said something amazing in church this morning. It was towards the end of Father’s homily and he was saying we would call this the year of love and hope. I had been thinking about a few lost souls I knew and how unfortunate they were compared to those of us are who were sitting in church because Jesus seems to protect us from the severe trials that many others go though.
Jesus suddenly said, “We will save everyone.”
Jesus words stunned me. I am not sure I have ever heard a more pregnant, promising and mind bogging statement, and this from the only one we can imagine powerful enough to accomplish it, the only one who loves us enough to make such a promise, the only one who would dare to utter a statement of such magnitude.
Who are the "we" in Jesus statement? My first thought was that he referred to himself and the angels, but then I wondered if he meant to paint the word "we" with a large brush, a brush that includes priests and monks and nuns and saints and all of us who pray for the well being of others.
Jesus didn’t tell me how he was going to accomplish such a promise, and if there is a way, which there must be, I probably wouldn’t understand. It is enough to know that even those poor lost souls who slipped up in life, who turned and walked backwards, will go forward again-someday, somehow. That ultimately, (I assume that is what Jesus meant), all humans will be saved. Jesus knows because he can speak from the future. He told us, “…I am with you always, until the end of the age.” Matt 28:20.
Astounding, Jesus statement implies change and redemption for every single person on earth, Christian and non-Christian alike. It boggles the mind. I can’t take in the whole idea of it in yet. Maybe Jesus will explain more to me eventually, but for now, I rest easy knowing that all will be well-all is well.
1/6/12
My family took me to see the Rembrandt show, “The Face of Jesus,” at the DIA. What can I say except that the paintings were perfect. One painting of Jesus' face looked so calm and still, it was as if he had all eternity, and of course, he does. The subtle agony on another face choked me up and brought tears to my eyes. It wasn’t the expression but the working of the paint that made it feel hurtful. At times, Jesus' dark eyes stared out from the painting and back to the viewer, as if to penetrate every soul. A sob caught in my throat as I sat in front of the images and contemplated the greatness of this master painter and his masterfully painted Jesus.
The information about
1/7/12
I read in the paper how doctors are puzzled over Stephan Hawking's condition of ALS and his longevity. I am sure his sharp mind has something to do with it, a mind I have always admired even before his book “A Brief History of Time” came out. For this reason, it bothers me slightly that such a great mind can’t find God in the universe, while I, with such a small mind, can.
How do I know there is a God? Well, he called me to him and spoke to me one night, but I believed in God even before I was given certain knowledge of God.
After thinking about our difference of opinion for a short while I think I know why God can’t be easily found in the universe; it is because God is the universe. The universe is but a dream in God’s mind and we are a valid part of that dream. How can the living dream character know the dreamer? In this sense, we are a vital part of God’s being, our thoughts are God’s thoughts, our lives, his. Our minds expand in God’s dream bubble that continues to expand in knowledge and being.
It is a movie not easily caught on tape, a theme so far beyond our factual understanding of existence we can never touch it. I ask: Can a red blood cell or bacterium know the mind of the person within which it swims, know that person's dreams?
1/8/12
I went to Sacred Heart Seminary for mass this morning with other members of our Saint Vincent de Paul group. I don’t know what I expected but it was really nice. A few young seminarians (117 in attendance this year) chanted so beautifully I felt carried aloft with reverence. This was high mass so even the priest sang during the mass, which I found engaging because it reminded me of churches long ago. I was surprised to hear the priest’s prayers clearly all through the mass, but then saw the microphone pinned on him. I smiled at this modern touch at the same time I reveled in the old. I noticed how silent the people were during the whole mass except during songs and when we shook hands in peace. I wondered if it was the silence that added to my feeling of reverence or the aura of so many young, enthusiastic priests in attendance. In all it was a good experience and I think everyone should visit a different church once in a while to wake up tired corners of the mind.
1/13/12
I learned something or rather, began to understand something this morning, a realization that has been knocking at my brain and waiting for me to open the door. It is this: When we gather into a circle and join hands, what we are really doing is creating a new level of mind, an expansion of the soul.
When I stand with the others and feel God come upon us, sometimes as intense light or as a bursting bubble of love, others may see differently, but we all experience an immediate expansion of soul. So much so, that we can then share this extra portion of God-energy with others. It is a gift from God that many people seem to have. My question is how can such different people with various belief systems gather together and share one experience so completely?
I am beginning to think the ability to feel God is inborn. As if our very cells crave God’s light. It may not matter if we call this energy God or the Living Universe or Ground of Being, what matters is our recognition of attachment to our source of life. The Source is ever flowing through us in this dance of life while expanding our souls.
I have been thinking lately of how hard it would be to explain to a true atheist the advantage of believing in God. What exactly is the advantage? Say we are talking to a person who is very moral and good in a humanistic sense. Why would they need God in their lives and how to explain this need? Probably theologians have figured this out, but I am not a theologian, just a simple person trying to understand in my own mind why we should all believe in a Heavenly Being.
Some arguments against God might point out the many immature people who need a great father in heaven, or that religion is the opium of the people, or that a truly good God would ease the pain of the world, etc. And yet, to those of us who feel this God, feel the light-energy touch, feel God in our bones, there is rightness about the feeling, as if an empty hole has been filled, as if the mind and body long for God.
It is easy for me to state this with certainly because Jesus has shown me people on other worlds with various understandings of God. By looking outwards, I was helped to see the people of earth more vividly. We are a microcosm of what is out there. This works for everything physical and mental on earth as if we could scatter like drops of rain through the universe. The reason for this copy cat sameness lies at the feet of God, the Source, the great mind of which we are all a part. Maybe I am stretching beyond what I understand and am grasping at straws now. So I better stop writing. I already have too much to think about.
1/16/12
When I visited with Jesus this morning, I promised that as soon as I get the bedroom painted and the student I agreed to host this semester, settled in school, I will get back to my painting. I imagined a few paintings becoming famous after I am gone. But Jesus said to me, “You are a writer for the future.”
I thought
about this and find it amazing. My books remain unpublished so I wonder how
what I write could become important in the future. All I can imagine is that
some grand disaster will happen, and for some reason, what I have written
survives. This has happened many times in the past. Most of the Greek writings
are gone, the library at
I find this idea really interesting and it is one I had never considered before. It puts a whole new light on history and our meandering path through it and the knowledge we have rescued from the ravages of time.
I can’t help laughing suddenly because I remember what Jesus told me last night when I couldn’t sleep, too wound up getting ready for my young guest, so I told Jesus that I probably won't have anything to put on the web in the next few weeks.
Jesus said to me, “I will give you something to write.”
Suddenly, I realized that he just did, but I decided to put it on this week.
1/20/12
I feel a little foolish about my reading habits. It seems that what I read is very trite and worthless I wonder why I continue to waste my time on it. Most of what I read are detective stories where a crime must be solved. I suppose I like the puzzle. Years ago I read a lot of science fiction but I never considered most of it trite because it always had the premise of “what if” and went on to elaborate on the solution, which I realize now, was a modern type of philosophy, a subject I have become very fond of in later years. This realization I come to from listening to lectures from the Great Courses.
It was a lecture on Dostoevsky, “Why evil exists” that brought me to confront my own reading deficiency. I had read his “Crime and Punishment” about 30 years ago and during the lecture I realized that I could still visualize certain moments in the book; I could still feel the impact on my emotions. With the memory of the man climbing the stairs with the smell of cabbage drifting down, I was suddenly hit with the fact that none of the books I read today can do the same. None of the scenes have such a lasting impact. Like Rembrandt, the master artist, Dostoevsky was a true master of his art too. Actually, of the small number of great books I have read, three of them have been Russian: One day in the life of Ivan (?), and The Death of Ivan (?). And isn’t that strange?
I begin to wonder if I was a Russian in a former life. Ha. Well I even begin to wonder if I have been around, living many lives for a long time. Not sure; I am sure that I will be back on earth in later years; although I realize this idea is very un-Christian. I understand the reason for refusing to think that people can be reborn. If it were true, it would be like saying that people deserve their station in life, even dying, hungry children, and like any true Christian, I can’t accept that any child deserves to starve. So the two ideas don’t mesh easily. Still, I know who I am and the more I mature, the further I see into the past and future. It isn’t a bad thing and I hope that other people are following this same kind of mind opening path. It may be that one life isn’t enough to teach us humans what we need to know. Maybe it takes a million.
Well, anyway, reading a great novel can teach us about other lives almost as much as living them. At the very least, it can broaden our ideas and enrich our understanding of how someone else thinks. I can’t imagine a world without books and am thankful that they have become even more accessible through electronic readers, (need to buy one soon). So, with all this writing this morning I am trying to convince myself to change my lazy habits, but I am not sure if I can, the draw of adventure can often supersede common sense.
1/20/12
This morning during meditation, I called numerous children, usually very young, from around the earth to join our gathering. This has become standard practice so I won’t write about it too often. I keep thinking that if anyone does read what I write, they might want new information instead of old, but who knows? Not sure, but I am learning. I have learned that the children like the way I flip from one world to another. I tend to forget that young children’s attention spans are even shorter than my own and they don’t mind not sinking into more information about the surrounding fauna and animals. This seems the opposite of when Jesus was my guide. I often wanted to know so much more, but couldn’t keep my focus. Well, I have learned not to worry about it because young children like the adventure of flipping from one place to another, which must seem to them like using the remote control for a television.
This is what we did this morning. I walk them up the sky-tunnel and make sure they touch the side of the living wood with respect and love, then we jumped to a very modern world with moving sidewalks. After they rode and jumped on the sidewalks we rode the stairs up to the top of a spire and looked out over a strange landscape of twisting tinker toy buildings. Then we left and went to earth in the future on a high mountain. We rode Yeti as they climbed up the mountain until they came to huge heavy doors. We entered a smaller one and stood at a railing looking down at the busy workers below. I explained to the children that I thought the air wasn’t good for humans anymore which is why only the Yeti were about on the land, a mountainous land that should have been covered in snow, but had too much green. I am not sure of the bad air quality. Jesus didn’t say differently, so it might be true. I had been here before with Jesus, (He is with us always but lets me lead the children. Not sure why).
Now I think that one of the reasons Jesus took me to various places was so I would have a smorgasbord of places to take the children. It is likely that many of them never heard of Jesus Christ. I doubt that they know who I am either, not sure if they can even see me. Not even sure of the mechanism that I use to draw them in. Regardless, I am sure the visit only lasts a short few minutes with each child. Nothing for any parent to worry about. At the very least, they are increasing their imagination; at the most, they are learning to visit other worlds.
A square mandala I
found on the web
1/21/12
This morning I wanted to take the children up to the Cathedral of Light because I haven’t for a while. So after all of us, adults and children, gathered in a circle and God sent a bundle of light energy into all of us in the form of bursting soap bubbles, which tickled the children into laughter, we adults led them to the Cathedral.
First I walked the children through a field of roses and told them we might meet Jesus mother. We walked through beds of many colored roses and when we came to a large bed of white roses, Mary stood, her image floating just above the bed of roses.
She handed each child a white rose and I suddenly understood why she had chosen to stand amid the white roses; it was a reflection of the children's innocence. As we were about to leave, a few children made the sign of the cross. This pleased me and I explained to the other children that this was a sign of respect to Mary, the Queen of Heaven. Then all of us made the sign of the cross.
Next I took them to the center of the Cathedral to show them the alters, which is why we came. I explained that when they are older, they can come here and Jesus will walk them through the center. In this way, they would learn the truth of who they are.
The center consists of four alters representing the four corners of the earth. I showed them the view from above and they saw a vast mandala representing the whole universe.
One bright child said the earth was round so how could I talk about four corners. Laughing with pleasure at the question, I explained that if you drew lines from the altar far enough it would wrap around the earth and you would come back to where you began. This seemed to satisfy his bright mind, for the moment.
Next I took them for a long walk to the wing of the cathedral where the whales made an abode. I let them run ahead and laughed as I mentioned to Jesus that even here, in this imaginary place between heaven and earth, my legs get tired.
“We will heal you.”
A bubble of hope filled me. "It would be so nice. I have so many things to do but this old body complains."
I think I walked more easily from just the thought of being healed.
We arrived at the ocean wing and I told the children they could push through the membrane that held the water in and then watched as they each pushed through. Then standing next to them I said to stand still and watch the sea weed, feel the sway of the water in rhythm. This is what the whales and dolphins feel all the time in the ocean.
The children enjoyed themselves watching the whale swim up to them and a few rode on dolphins. When we left the ocean wing, and they were about to leave for home, I told them something I wanted them to think about.
“The whales can see you but most people can not.”
They wanted a demonstration so I thought about where it would work best and took them to stand in the isle of an air plane in flight. They watched as no one turned their heads to look at us. The children understood immediately. I nodded to them and they popped back to their own place in the world. I gave my thanks to Jesus and the others for a good journey.
1/22/12
Jesus said something to me the other night that gave me a long pause and good food for thought. My oldest son had come over to help me after work and was about to leave just as it began to snow heavily. As he pulled away I worried because I knew he was tired and the roads were getting bad.
Suddenly, Jesus said to me, “He will be protected because he helped you.”
This lifted my heart of worry. I said to Jesus, “How did I get so lucky as to deserve your help? How do I know you so intimately that you know my thoughts?
“You invited me in,” Jesus said.
I am not sure how to comment on such a statement or describe the comfortable feeling his words gave me, so I’ll just leave it up to the reader to understand it in their own way.
1/27/12
PBS had an author on the program who talked about his book, The Age of Austerity. Everything he mentioned about the book was the same that I understood Jesus to mean when he warned me about an overly conservative Republican president getting voted into the White House because it would mean dire consequences for the poor among us, a class that continues to grow. It fit so well that I began to wonder if the author was influenced by heaven while he wrote the book. He would probably deny any direct influence, yet he might be in agreement with heaven, whether he knows it or know.
On the program, the author (Sorry, I can't remember his name) talked about liberals and conservatives and how each group is hard-wired differently, which is why our views oppose each other. He spoke about the division in congress and how the gap might widen even further.
I thought about buying the book
even though it would be a frightening read for me because it will make vivid my
own fears for the well being of the people of the
I fear greatly for the state of all of us who are not rich if Republicans win the White House on election day. I fear the laws they will put into place against people in need because I remember how hard it was to get that safety net in place. Well, enough worry. What will be, will be and there is nothing I can do about it except pray and toss my one vote into the ballot box.