12/5/09
This morning I met with Jesus during the rosary and spoke with a few others who had gathered on God’s mountain before I stood and prayed for God to fill me with his glorious golden energy. Then I stepped back to this area to see if I could share God's energy with someone in need. I had such a heavy heart this morning that even God’s energy didn’t seem to lift it. My thoughts had centered on all the people who are loosing jobs, homes and heat, especially heat. Too many people here in the city need to live without heat during the winter, or use only a small heater for warmth. At least, that is something. I hope people know that they can pay only a part of their bill from DTE Energy, the electrical part which is usually smaller. I don't think DTE made that clear enough for people. Regardless, in such a modern world as ours, it is unfathomable that some people lack basic needs.
Lifting myself into a better mood, as best I could, I went to a number of children this morning to hug until we both filled with God's energy. One young boy was huddled and afraid, of his dad, I think. I hugged him for a long time and, after a while, he seemed to feel better. I told him to call for me if he ever feels so afraid again, but I don’t know if he heard me or whether I would hear him if he did call me. It feels good to know that someone cares, and I hoped he knew I cared.
I also went to a family sitting around a heater, then a beautiful girl in a hospital with dark curly hair who may have cancer. Certainly, it is a defect of nature that any young child should have cancer. I can hardly bare the thought. Only a world in darkness could allow such an anomaly. Only old bodies can corrupt and fall apart, not youthful ones. In a good world, such things would never happen, nor any child starve, nor suffer in pain. Most children don’t, and we can be thankful for that.
My own spirituality has felt diminished lately, as if a dark cloud had floated between myself and heaven. I seem to be recovering, but slowly. I don’t think I need to worry about it because such highs and lows are natural, Jesus has told me this often enough along with the advice that I shouldn't worry about it.
Jesus wants me to begin doing more traveling. I agree. I think I am getting ready too. I keep remembering the places where he took me and am beginning to crave new adventures; yet, the places Jesus took me were never mere adventures, they always held some sort of message, and I can’t wait for the next one. Ah, that is one way to get me traveling, promise me a new hidden insight or message.
Just this morning, when I was feeling so hopeless for everyone, I cried out to Jesus. "What is this life for anyway. What is it about?"
His answer, “To experience. To move towards God.”
Though his answer was short and quick, it filled with hope and pleasure.
I took this
photo a few years ago.
Snow is beautiful
as long as we can sit in a warm house to watch it fall.
12/7/09
Jesus took a group of us to a strange place this evening. We began by walking up the sky-tunnel. I don't know why I call it that, it can also be thought of as a bridge or stairway into the sky. Anyone with a pure heart is invited to walk its meandering route to the stars. This evening, we stood at the tunnel's edge, facing the billowing curtain that hid the step to everywhere. Jesus told me to blank out my mind because I was imaging in fast mode the hundred places I'd already been. Better to start without preconceptions of where we were going. I did as Jesus suggested, filling my mind with gray mist, then followed Jesus and the others as they stepped off the edge, as if from a high cliff.
When I opened my mind to where we stood, my first impression was that everything was rust red and burnt orange. Confronting us was a orange/red face of rock that reached high to the sky, thankfully misty blue, with a dark red to black curving lines burnt or carved all over its surface. The deep red swirls looked like writing. All of us stood at the bottom of the mountain looking up at the rough red surface, cleaved and carved out by the elements we assumed, except for the large, dark snaking swirls that filled much of its face, from top to bottom.
Behind the narrow path we stood on, was a vast, flat expanse of smaller rocks with misty green in the far distance. The path was narrow and seemed to be worn down by many travelers, rather than carved into the mountain. Perhaps I got this impression because of the wide, knee high ledge on the open side.
We followed Jesus down the narrow path as it curved on the side of the mountain, a mountain always showing a flat surface covered with script on one side and a open space on the other. When we walked down a steep incline, we suddenly walked into a wondrous emerald world filled with green mist. We were all shocked by the difference in atmosphere. We had just walked from a seemingly angry orange red world into a lush green blue one in a single step. The mountain we had begun on had suddenly took a dip down into the soft green fauna of a tropical jungle. I noticed the path we had begun on now looked like it was made of smooth pearl and the leaves and trees that surrounded us on every side was abundant with flowers and luscious scents. We were in a wonderland of wonders.
Jesus said, “Wait until you see the people.”
He meant that we would be surprised. Before we saw them, he told us, “They gave something up to be what they have become.”
I was wondering about what he meant when we met the first of the people. The person we saw was clinging high up on the side of a rock surface or large vine. As we watched, it flew above us and away through the trees, looking much like a fairy from a child's story book.
Jesus said, “They know we are here.”
The being I'd got a fleeting glimpse of was so small and slim it seemed to be made of sticks, with glossy wings, much larger than it was, spread out from its back like a dragonfly. It seemed to be made of no substance at all; I felt ponderous and heavy below. We followed Jesus around for a while in the emerald wonderland where small fairy's seem so fittingly right, and eventually followed him back up the steep mountain. On the way there, we saw a procession of small beings flying ahead of us.
Back in the red orange world of rock and sky, all of us stood aghast at the form of worship practiced by these beings. A worship that threw me off kilter until I realized the pure simplicity of its sacrifice.
As we watched, one of the fairy's, shorter than me and very much skinner, clung to the face of red rock doing something to the script that was as large as it was, adding length to one of its many swirls while the other small people stayed back, as if hiding, in the tree tops. The person was working really hard to carve the rock. I watched as it cut into the mountain with a sharp hammer and chisel, banging a rat-a-tat sound into the air, a chore that seemed much to large for such a small being.
Then to the shock of each of us, the fairy began to smolder and then burst into flames. We stood, mouths open, silent, horror-struck as its ashes lifted up to drift on the wind like burnt paper.
We looked to Jesus for explanation. Jesus told us that the being was serving its purpose, it had added to the song of God, in so doing, it had given its life to that purpose.
I looked at the large rock face with its script running in swirls all over its side and imagined how many of the small beings must have given their lives for that purpose. I wondered if it was their song to God they were writing or God’s song?
Still feeling shocked, I asked Jesus about the song.
He said, “Each person is writing their own part or understanding of God’s song.”
“I don’t understand. I still don't understand what they gave up to fly.” I told Jesus.
He said, “Think about it.”
I did and think I finally understood. They were like moths to the flame, they became the flame. their lives are probably short and directed towards this single purpose, to continue the song of God. Perhaps they gathered the song from the universe of stars and knew it must be etched into rock. I felt diminished somehow by their achievement or sacrifice, and also sad that those beautiful creatures chose to end so horribly or beautifully, depending on your point of view. Yet, don’t we all end, one way or another? That being’s ending was somehow moving, like the most fragile of papers flying into the sky, a prayer written to catch on the wind, a burnt offering, a life for God.
Jesus agreed with my understanding; yet, there must be more to it, more than I will never know. I still feel uneasy at what I witnessed and can only wonder at the strangeness of the many cultures on other worlds. If I keep traveling with Jesus, I am sure I will witness many that I can't understand. We live in a diverse universe where anything imaginable can and does exist. Aren’t we all a dream in the mind of God?
12/18/09
Jesus told me once that I will never loose him, or that he won’t loose me. He proved this the other day when he called me back to him.
He said, “You will come back to me.”
I felt a slight jolt at his words because I hadn’t realized I’d lost him. True, I have been reluctant to sit and meditate, slow to pray, and other subtle symptoms that I had hardly paid attention to, but I didn’t think I’d lost Jesus.
Maybe I hadn’t, maybe he said that to wake me up to the fact that I was sliding away. It wasn’t but a few weeks ago that we traveled to a new planet in the universe. Surly, I was close to him then, but I will take his word for it that I need to regroup and run back to him. I am reaching out for his hand once more. It is a good lesson in how easily we can slide away without realizing it, but also how easily we can return. Love is all it takes.
Speaking of traveling, I have been noticing on the science news that they are finding planets that are more earthlike. Soon they will find planets that are very earth like. I remember once when I asked Jesus, “Why are we going to different planets?”
He told me, “So others will recognize them.”
I didn’t know what he meant by that and assumed it meant that when people learn to travel on the sky bridge or sky tunnel to the stars, they will know where to go. But now I realize that he might have meant that when our telescopes get more powerful, we will actually see a few of these other worlds, and perhaps eventually, communicate with inhabitants on those planets. Probably, at first with math and it will grow from there. I also remember Jesus telling me that a few planets are rich in life, but not intelligent life, and that those planets are reserved for our own expansion. How wonderful is God’s plan, it never ends but keeps moving us forward.
The other reason for our travels with Jesus is more subtle, but just as important, we learning the various ways in which people on different planets worship God. I have seen some strange forms of worship during our travels, such as one person climbing up a long chimney-like spout, or a fairy-like being burning up when their written story was done which I saw just recently. The message is that we must learn to be tolerant of these differences. This will be hard for us because we still find it hard to be tolerant of the different forms of worship on our own planet, let alone other planets. We will eventually learn to accept other kinds of people, this is all part of God’s plan for us.
December
sunset on Belle Isle. The island never
fails to renew my psyche. Every view is great, some are breathtaking.
12/19/09
I meditated this morning and felt very good and back to myself after God filled me with light-energy, but also something new and strange has been taking place lately when I travel to God’s mountain or anyplace else, a group of children have started to follow me. Their presence perks up my own interest because I love showing them around. It reminds me of the pleasure Jesus tells me he feels when he takes me to different worlds. Teaching just feels good because it is a simple means of giving and sharing.
I have thought long and hard about these children who follow me, wondering who they are and where they came from. For the most part, I think they are children from the future, children deprived of the normal things we take for granted. I say this because, at first, they seemed very timid and hesitant about everything as if they were newborns. They even delighted in such simple things as snow, grass, and clouds. What does this mean? I don’t know.
Their fearfulness is certainly unnecessary, especially since we do all this in spirit because nothing can hurt you while in spirit. Still, they have overcome their nervousness and now react to everything with delight and joy. A few let me take hold of their hand for a moment. I wanted to show how deeply I love them. At the end of our session an adult from their group thanked me for my care and concern, explaining that their visits must be very short. I can understand this, I loose focus easily myself, but I can’t see that I have done anything worth being thanked for. Still, I accepted gracefully.
Believe
it or not, as I spread the light in circled waves over and above the area where
I live and all of
I enjoyed my time with them during the meditation this morning but it put a strain on me and I couldn’t keep it up for long. In all, I felt pleased with the morning. I thanked Jesus and my friends on the mountain before parting. I felt happy and content.
I should mention that a few of the children are not from the future, but are young Buddhists in training. They are learning to meditate at a young age and I don’t know how they found me, but they did and like to come along. I think it is wonderful that they learn to use their mind well at such a young age. It shows a maturity beyond what we normally expect from children. Truly, we in the West neglect this most important part of ourselves, the mind. We throw so many gadgets at our children they hardly have time to reflect at all, let alone meditate. I am sure the short time these Buddhist children use for meditation each day does not take away from play or studies; in fact, it may be the most vital part, as it should be for all children. Perhaps the churches will pick up on the idea of teaching children to meditate one day.
St. Hyacinth Church
on
12/20/09
During church at St, Hyacinth this morning, my mind seemed filled with silly thoughts and worries. To help me, Jesus came and wrapped his body around mine in a long bear hug, just as I have done when I visit some children. Of course, this simple act made me cry tears of joy. Just then, the male choir began singing “Make me a channel of thy peace,” which made me cry more. I felt so filled with love when I left the church that I was determined to do better as far as spreading love and concern. I asked Jesus to help me know what to do for people and help me become all that he wants me to be.
12/25/09
As I
watched late mass at St. Peter's in
Sadly, the Pope was attacked just before mass on Christmas Eve, but this Pope walks with Jesus and I am sure the angels padded him from a fall, as best they could, and maybe that cardinal who did get hurt stepped into the path of the attacker. As we get older, it doesn’t take much to break a bone. I shudder to think what might have happened if the Pope had broken a bone this night. We wouldn’t have heard his excellent sermon, the celebration would have been held up for hours, and people, even in that grand, beautiful church, would have grown too bored and tired to wait for mass to begin.
Oddly
enough, I loved all the pomp and circumstance of the celebration in
I cry for those relatives, we all have them, who neglect their soul by refusing to worship God. I pray for them often but tend to get discouraged even though Jesus assures me that my neglect for my own kids will be remedied, and that each of them will find God in their own way. I am thankful for his assurance, but concerned at what twists and turns their lives might take before God can reel them in. Yet, in ten or twenty years, I see a darker time ahead for all of us.
Just last night, as I watched the news, I thought, “We live in such a dangerous world.”
Jesus said to me, right at moment, “You don’t know how dangerous.”
This dampened on my holiday mood somewhat because I started thinking about the many things can go terribly wrong. But we fight it, our leaders try to prevent the worst and seem to be succeeding. There is always hope. (This is why the book, The Road was so devastating for many of us, it seemed absence of all hope).
I went to church this morning and feel blessed and good about myself and the whole world, so now I will stop writing, go visit my family and enjoy Christmas.
12/27/09
As the orchestra played and I swam in the music, Jesus came to me during mass and spoke. He wanted to remind me of something necessary. I realized right away what he wanted.
“Put up a shield.” He said.
I thought for a minute about how to do this. At one time I said I was going to imagine a spinning disk in my head to keep the evil one out of it. I forgot most of the time and the habit didn't stick. Jesus is right, I need to protect myself.
With Jesus prompting, I suddenly realized what it was that I needed. I need to carry the glow of God inside my mind, a reminder of God’s presence at all times. As soon as I felt the small glow expand inside my mind, I knew this was the exactly right thing to do. Now I must keep it up, at all times, if possible. It will take practice, but I can do it. The feeling of God's glow makes me feel grand, not unlike the soloist I was listening to at the moment, music and singing that could lift a person's spirit up into the sky. The soft glow of God inside me gives my spirit joy.
It felt so pleasant, yet I questioned my ability to stay with it.”
Jesus said, “It is simple. Anyone can do it. You can do it.”
I smiled with pleasure. Of course I can do it, even if I need to write sticky notes and paste them all over the house.
Besides, the clarity of thought I feel because of this soft glow is worth the effort. One side effect is I may no longer be taunted by the evil one. Blocked, it will loose its power to humiliate, mock, or send me worry. Thank you Jesus for reminding me of what I need.
For the rest of the mass, I kept the glow while listening to the great music of Bach, Hayden etc. There will be a repeat of the same orchestra and opera singing next week, Jan 3, at the noon mass. I truly hope I can pull my family into church to hear it. We each derive out own type of pleasure from this great celebration of the mass, but for young people from the suburbs, unaccustomed to the grandness of the old fashioned mass, I think it would be a new and pleasurable experience.
12/30/09
Today, for about three minutes, myself and a group of kids stepped out of the sky-bridge onto raft in the ocean. Waves splashed and tickled our feet as we watched a barefooted fisherman pull in his nets and catch fish with line. Dolphins swam not too far away. I got the impression that they could see us sitting on the raft even though we were invisible to the fishermen.
The raft or half raft-boat was heading to shore and then the kids ran and rolled in the sand. At one point, one of the kids stood up and looked like a hollow sand person. This is truly impossible because we are not physical when we travel but our imaginations can supply what we need and it was so funny all the kids started doing it. Then they ran into the water again to wash the sand off, as if there was real sand on their invisible bodies.
We all laughed as we separated by popping back home. Is any of this real? I don’t know what is real and what not during these times and don’t care. I don’t think the kids care either. So all is well. Often Jesus is with us, but this day he wasn’t. This may have meaning, not sure. It was his suggestion that I write about the fun we had today. The dolphins were just as playful as the kids and I do want to make the statement about how intelligent they are and ask the world why we still kill them. But then I need to ask why do we still kill people and whales and torture pigs and chickens, etc? If we begin to list our faults, where will it end? So I will try and concentrate on the good and these children are innocent and good.