1/2/09

For a short time this morning during meditation, I had a group of children following me. I say following me but Jesus is usually here too. I think they can relate to me because I am very down to earth and earth is what they need to learn. We began next to Jesus high on a hill, standing amid grass and wild flowers, looking down to the others who were already meditating. We walked down to join them, a few of the kids floating like birds along behind. We greeted each other with smiles and nods, then stood in a circle holding the children's hands while God's energy encircled and filled us with light.

As we left, I asked Jesus where I should take the kids. They love most the excitement of a raft in the ocean or a thrill ride on a rollercoaster, but this was my meditation time and therefore theirs also. Jesus suggested we go to the Cathedral of Light. Great idea. As we walked through the cathedral, beneath a deep blue sky, I pointed to the alter and the sky and the living pictures high up on the walls and then we walked a path through the grass to visit with Mary, the Queen of Heaven.

She always knows when I am there and appears surrounded by roses. She seemed so delighted to see the children, she bent down and sent a cloud of white roses to shower above them. We stood beneath her majesty for a moment, each child, now quiet and holding a white rose. As we left, one of the children asked me what to do with the rose he carried in his hand. Put it into your heart, I told him. All the children put their white rose from Mary into their hearts.

Then I took them to the wing of the cathedral where the whales and dolphins swim. Actually, I think it is open ocean attached to the Cathedral, which, itself, is attached to Angel World. This day, we saw a number of dolphins who came to visit with us. The children grabbed hold and went for a ride on a dolphin. Then we watched the fauna sway in the water and the delicate flowers and fish glow all around us before we pushed our way back through the barrier. By now, the children were weary and done playing. They were loosing their focus; I had already lost mine for long moments at a time.

I waved goodbye to them, then came home to concentrate and pray for a few people I know and feel great concern for. I sent God’s energy towards them in hope it will shore them up to keep pushing through life. I also prayed for my family and sent a wave of light to fill the surrounding area where I live as wide as I could manage and still stay in focus. God’s light-energy is infinite but I am not. Then, the rosary with Sister Angelica and the other sisters ended, I said good by to my friends who had gathered on God’s mountain and began to write this down so I wouldn’t forget.

Note-I have been doing quite well with remembering to keep a small area of God’s light in my mind. I do forget, but each time I remember, I suddenly feel it there and also feel God’s energy flow through my whole mind and body for a second. A good reminder to stay with God at all times. I hope to keep doing well on that point.

1/4/09

Last night I watched The Day the Earth Stood Still, the old movie from 1950, and it was still amazingly good. It kept me enthralled and interested. Later, I began to ask why today’s Hollywood can’t make a movie like this, one with a challenging message. Sure the robot was a little dorky but the message was grand. Did the movie makers forget how to make messages? Are they considered too simplistic? To tame? Today they put a fight in a movie and make it last twenty minutes, as if the movie needs the violence or we won’t like it. Is this true? Have we come to that degree of warped emotions we crave great violence instead of a great message?

I just watched Aviator and thought it was excellent because it did have a message, but it also had so much aching violence I cringed in my seat. At one point I cried. I wonder how many of us who watched the movie wish we could live on Pandora.

Too bad because I don't think we humans will be allowed to leave our solar system to land on other planets unless we grow up first—at least, I hope not.

1/9/10

This morning’s meditation was beautiful. I seemed able to slid right into Jesus arms. Well, sort of an exaggeration, but it felt like I was deeply in with Jesus. We walked slowly to join the others and I realized that I felt more mature than usual. Could this be that the children make me feel older, more like I need to be a teacher instead of a child. It felt good as I nodded to the others and called people to join in the circle. Many people join though they don’t always know it, but others join because they chose to, their prayers concentrate together until they flow with God’s love and energy.

This morning I felt like a giant I was so filled with God energy and walked around the US showering light all over. Then settled down to send ripples of large waves of light all over where I live and its surroundings. As these huge waves of golden energy flowed outward and away they seemed to join with the glorious sunshine that already filled the brilliant day. It is shivering cold, but bright and now our souls are sunlit too.

As I listened and said the rosary along with my Sister Angelica tape, I went to many people I had known through the years to give them a quick smile or hug. I went to South America and Central America to say hello to Maria, thanked an older man for his great work pulling children off the streets, and may others. I wanted them to know that, even though I don’t visit them often, they are always in my prayers.

Then I went to a young man who was sitting on a bench with some others. He had a dark, shinny gun in his hand, laying on his lap. I hugged him hard, real hard and told him to put the gun away. He looked around at his friends. I could tell he wanted to look big with them, but I kept letting him know I loved him, and finally, he set the gun down beside him. When they all got up, he let the gun drop and kicked it beneath the bench.

I think they were going out to cause mayhem someplace. I am not sure, but at least, now, they won’t kill anyone, if they do. I sent him as much God energy as I could gather to send. I wanted him to know that he’d done good. I think one day he may look back and be forever grateful for that moment. I hope he recognizes God in his choice.

The rosary ended and so did my meditation. I thought about what happened. I felt successful this day. If every meditation could help just one person, I would feel rewarded. I also went into children's hospital and spread a broad wave of God energy around because I hate that innocent children should suffer pain. I felt good because it'd been a while since if had really felt like I helped anyone. I often slip backwards and need help from Jesus to keep my battery charged.

1/10/10

Oh what a beautiful sunny day. It is a delight to be awake in it. Church was nice too this morning. The mass was in Polish and English and the male singers were great in both. I hadn't listened to any Christmas music while at home because my radio won’t tune in right, so I loved hearing Silent Night this Sunday, the last time for a year. Oh well.

I had a reason I wanted to write about church this morning. It is this: When at the end of mass, the priest held up his hands to gave us blessing, I was sitting in a front pew and felt the energy from the blessing wash over me. The energy then flowed throughout the whole church and beyond. For a short moment, I thought that I saw this energy too as it flowed from the priest's hands out to us sitting in the pews. This was a welcoming experience for me, and proved the deep love and concern Jesus holds for all of us.

1/15/10

I met with Jesus this morning. Actually, he called me to meet with him and the others. This day, as soon as God filled me with energy, I knew where to go. Where else was there to go by Haiti, that island city crushed by the earthquake. I could hardly bare it but I went anyway. I walked past fallen slabs of buildings amid debris and searched for someone alive beneath the rubble. There, a young boy, about four years old, breathing. I climbed down beneath the timbers and cement. He wasn’t calling out because he was too wounded. I went above and there was a man at another section of the fallen building. I spoke to him. I kept saying “Baby, baby.” He heard me and went over to where the young boy was and began to pull what he could away from the site. His hands were bleeding and this more than anything stabbed at my emotions. With super strength, he was able to get to the boy and pull him out. Then others came and put the boy on a board to take to a center for care.

In another area I saw a man screaming. He was just sitting and screaming in anger. I don’t know when I was there because time is different when you are meditating, but I couldn’t blame that man and wanted to scream with him. At another place I saw a pregnant women laying beneath a fallen mess that had once been a store. I went to two people nearby, a women and a man, and kept trying to let them know that she was alive down there. I think they heard me because they turned in that direction. The trauma is so great for the survivors and rescuers alike, that I suspect, their senses are heightened and this makes them more able to listen to a voice in their mind. I think these two people even saw me motioning to them, but they will never remember this.

At another place, I saw a little girl with a blue ribbon that had become loosened and hanging down from her hair walking around as if in a daze. Her mother was not too far away and I took the little girl by the hand and let her to her mother. As soon as she seen her, the mother grabbed hold of the girl and began rocking and hugging her. It was a beautiful sight amid all the confusion and agony.

Others from God’s mountain came to help in Haiti too, and many of them are more capable than I am and may do much more. Jesus tells me that eventually Haiti will rise above all this tragedy and prosper, that the response from every country is so great the effect will be long lasting. Television news showed all the countries who are sending help, along with the united states. It is a wonderful response. The human caring of one nation for another is heart warming. Imagine if we didn’t have such concern for each other, imagine if we didn’t have prayer, if Jesus hadn’t come to teach us to pray or Buddha to meditate or other great religious figures. What kind of world would this be? Hard to imagine, but it isn’t that kind of world. It is a caring place where we recognize that everyone is our brother and sister, where we are all joined to one another, where each life is worth more than an emerald or ruby or gold.

It is this caring that separates and defines the sides in this battle for hearts and souls. God’s side and all those who stand for God know that each life is worth a treasure. The other side places no value on individual lives. Once, when I referred to this battle for hearts and souls as a game, Jesus got angry with me.

He said, “Diane, this is not a game.”

Now I understand why he got so upset. It is because the other side does think of it as a game and each person is a mere piece on their game board. They count winning by numbers and statistics, to them, people are mere bits on a computer, rooks on a chess board, dice to be thrown, stones to be trampled into the ground, nothing else. To the enemy, we are expendable.

To God and his people, which includes all of us who pray, we are precious. Many of us who gathered on God’s mountain this morning have went to Haiti to do what we could to help. I keep seeing that man’s bloody hands as he dug through the sharp mental and broken stones to save a life. I kept hugging him as he worked because I didn’t know what else to do. Along with others, I will donate a small amount, so little for such a huge disaster, but every bit counts. Prayers count too. As the rosary ended, I stood in the center of the city and sent wave after wave of God light-energy outward towards souls dead and souls alive and souls in need of a touch of God’s love.

Speaking of love. I know now why the children visited and walked with me for a time. They were a gift, a very precious gift from the future, more precious because they have very few children. Their visit was a message of hope, a subtle thank you, a way of saying that even far into the future people will thrive.

1/18/10

The gospel today was about Jesus changing water into wine and I kept thinking how Jesus changed me from water to wine. Water is precious but wine adds sweetness to the flavor. Sometimes I look at a person and wonder how strange or odd they are in the variations of size and character. Some people, say on television, I tend to turn away from, too beautiful or too ugly or to hateful, but when I noticed an ugly person on the television one day who seemed unlikable I wondered what there was inside that person that God loved. The answer popped out at me as soon as I asked it—the soul.

The soul, our Godly part, that nugget where all else began, however else we reshape our bodies or invert our minds, the soul stays with us for life. Some of us try to kill the soul, may actually do so, or almost. Hard to imagine an ax murder still having a viable soul, although insanity might squeeze him through the gates of heaven. Well, none of my business. Leave these things to God. My only business is brightening souls the best I can, starting with my own.

1/22/10

I have been wondering what good I can do by sending my mind to other places. Certainly, I spread God’s light everywhere I walk while in spirit, but what specific help can I give that best fits my inability to do something physical. This I have been asking myself all morning. I didn’t go to Haiti during meditation because there is a lot of help there now and my little effort hardly seems needed. Perhaps this is what made me start wondering what I could do that fits ‘my style’ best. Jesus knew what I was concerned with and answered me by directing me towards an answer.

I went to a young boy who was sitting alone at a school desk out in a hallway. He was almost crying because of his struggle to read. Actually, I think the emotion of fear and failure is what prevented him from reading the assignment. I sat with him, gave him a hug, and read the next few words along with him. I highlighted the words as we read.

He actually noticed that I was helping him and seemed delighted. He was now happy and less afraid to fail.

I said to him, “Any time you need help, call.”

As I said it, I became confused and afraid. Why did I say that? What if I can’t hear him? In fact, I know I wouldn’t unless I was meditating.

“What do I do now?" I asked Jesus, "How can I help this boy. How would I know when he needs help to read a word?”

Jesus said, “The angels will help him.”

“Ah, yes. His guardian angel, the one who is always with him.”

Do I still believe in each of us having a guardian angel? If I didn't, I do now.

"This might be my job, to open a person's mind to the idea that help is just a silent call away. Perhaps this is my purpose and value."

Jesus smiled at my sudden realization. I thought back to the hugs I have given people, mostly children, to the times I spoke and they listened, to the times I could reduce anger or fear until they nodded in agreement. Yes, maybe that is what I am good for. We all have something that we do well, this may be what I do well. I felt good knowing this. I can open a person’s eyes to angels or to heaven. I can teach children how to call on their guardian angel or Jesus for help. I can’t think of a more worthy job. I love it.

1/27/10

I went to the City Council Community Meeting last night at St. Elizabeth, just a few blocks from my home. There was really a great turn-out, perhaps people wanted to see our new council members up close, I know I did. They handled most questions with calm and quick authority, and right then and there, called on the top managers from the various departments to solve the person's problem. I was pleased to see that many problems had solutions. Many don't because Detroit is so strapped for money. The most prevalent problem that people complained about was abandoned houses and blight. The council did say that they would tare down more houses this year than were done in previous years.

Enough of the problems, because what really made me feel enthused was what I was hearing about the large numbers of people who make it their business to help other people. One young man stood up and talked about his group that goes around the city helping where ever necessary. I didn't catch the name of his group or the others because there were so many. I felt proud to be a Detroiter last night. The people are great and always helpful. Why do we only hear about the bad apples?

I have joined the Reading Corps and will feel proud to be given the ability to encourage a few children to love books, plus I get to follow these same children for five years and watch them progress to avid readers. Thank you Mr. Bobb.

Back to the meeting, I ran into a few people I hadn't seen in a while, like Father Thomas. He is past retirement age, but he seems to keep getting younger. It just goes to show that God takes care of his own. In all my wandering and changing churches, I need to admit I miss Father Thomas's sermons. I haven't found any priest yet so able to send his message into the heart of everyone inside the church like he does. He keeps his messages simple, but effective.

Speaking of changing churches. From my amateur view from the pews, I have been getting an education in Catholic Liberalism verses Ultra Conservatism and find that both groups are sincere, faithful, and know they are right. There really is no right or wrong with the different flavors of Catholicism, just different ideas on what is most important in worship. On one hand, God seems to walk amid the people, on the other, he sits high above us in majesty. The old mass concentrates on worship of God and doesn't have a place that includes prayers for different people, the new mass specifically asks us to pray for various people in the world. Both are right and, of course, Jesus accepts both sides. It was Jesus who encouraged me to take a look around at the different ideas in the churches. I think it has made me more thoughtful.

1/28/10

According to the Freep, Police Chief Warren Evans is doing a excellent job. I totally agree. I feel safer since he came into office. I feel like the police are more accommodating to people's needs. I haven't had direct contact with the police but have seen cars everywhere at odd times of day. Great work Warren Evans, the people of Detroit thank you.

Speaking of thanks, our President deserves a round of applause for his great effort, too bad that so many want stifle that effort. I think selfish needs and wants are at the base of a lot of the disputes. If we ask what is best for the majority of people instead of just a few, we get a clearer picture of what is truly best for the country as a whole. As an example, when I hear people complain of the medical initiative, they usually start out with, "I don't want…" instead of "We all need…" Still, Americans can be very generous. Look at the great help we are sending to Haiti. We are still a country that believes in giving in an emergency and I hope we stay that way.

1/30/10

This morning during meditation I had the notion that I wanted to stand on Mars for a time. As Jesus and I walked on Mars and I felt the stones beneath my feet and the sand, Jesus said, “It is a dying world.”

I put my hand flat down onto the ground as if I could feel its feeble pulse. “But will it live again, won’t it?”

Jesus said that it would, that we humans from earth would come here and revive it.

“I know. A long time from now.”

My imagination soured with images of a Mars reborn. As I have hinted before, I think humans came from Mars originally, that we are a mixture of Mars sand and Earth clay. I even agree with the idea I read years ago that Venus entered our solar system and nudged Mars slightly out of orbit. Something scientists will never accept. Jesus seems more agreeable to the idea.

Next we went to earth and what a difference. Earth’s pulse thrives; I can feel each pounding beat of it beneath my bare feet. Earth is very much alive and well, well maybe not so well. We will need to do something about all our excess use of its resources soon. How many years of our trashing it up can Earth absorb? And what is this about people suddenly changing their mind about global warming? Why? How? Nothing has changed accept opinion. What gives here? Ok, back to the subject of the writing.

Jesus and I walked to meet the others and I thrilled at the tiny stones and bits of grass squished between my toes, so different from the sand of mars. When I met the others I was reminded once again of the glow that surrounds them. They seem to be always busy as they use their minds to help where they can in the world. Not like me who only meditates a few times a week.

Today, filled with God energy, I spread God’s invisible light around and then went looking for someone I could help. I soon found a young boy pounding on the walls of his room in anger. I could hear yelling in the background. The boy was very upset and hurting, but I realized it wasn’t him who needed help but his mother. Very young, she was the one yelling from upset. She was overcome by stress of her family. I tried to calm her down. She didn’t know I was there but I think God’s light worked because she began to cry and called her children to her and hugged them. Two boys and a girl. She apologized as she hugged them for a moment.

She is worried about money. Even though she gets food stamps, it isn’t enough for other family needs. It is a great struggle for her to take buses to look for work. She was working until just recently.

I can’t do much for her, I can’t get her a job, but I wanted to promise her a job. As I surrounded her with God’s light, I said over and over, “Go to church and you will find a job. Take your kids to church. A job will come your way.”

But I was telling a lie.

I looked at Jesus. I don’t want to lie, why did I tell her a lie?

Jesus smiled and said, “It isn’t a lie.”

Then I knew that she would get a job soon. That is why Jesus allowed me to say what I did. Before I left, I tried to whisper to her that all will be well, that her children would grow strong and help her one day, but she didn’t know how to listen.

A number of times in my life, I heard a whisper, “You will be ok.”

I shrugged off such whispers because, at the time, I was hurting too much. Yet, I am very happy now. I don’t have everything but I have what I need. What more can we ask for?