Holding Back Time (Not a very good painting)
I remember painting this picture years ago after the angels told me about their effort to save us from a disaster. They never did tell me what the disaster was.
6/1/11
This morning Jesus and I walked on a beach just before the sun was about to rise. I felt the cold water swish between my toes the sand beneath my feet. I had the thought that maybe the bottom of my feet are really there on the beach, but I wasn’t sure, so didn’t dwell on the idea. What I did dwell on was the question of what pleases Jesus most about us humans. Are we growing out of our silly monkey business, our need to be king of the hill, our selfish tendencies, our pettiness and ignorance. I doubt it and it seems a wonder to me that Jesus can love us at all. So I asked if we had achieved anything through these long years and if he is proud of us. If so, for what?
Jesus said, “Many things.” He smiled, “I like what you and the other people are doing who gather together.”
What exactly are we doing? This gave me much food for thought as we continued walking, and then I realized what Jesus meant. He likes it that a few of us are learning to step away from perceived reality, this Maya or matrix of illusion in which we swim. The human mind needs to exist someplace, live under some type of illusion of reality, but maybe the point is that we are learning to choose, if only for a moment, where. I didn't ask Jesus if my thinking was right, but I felt that he agreed with me. Everything is possible under God because it is God’s dream-mind we walk in. The thought pleases me.
I could still feel the sand beneath my feet as we climbed a few small sandy hills with scattered clumps of tall grass and walked to join with the others. On the way, I told Jesus that from now on I will call a number of different children from around the world to join with us at the gathering. I have come to understand that Jesus thinks it is important that as many children as possible get a sample of mind travel, that no matter if they think it just a daydream, one day the experience may become important for them.
We have two Buddhist children who like to join with us to travel most of the time, but they are more mature than most children, who do probably don’t consider traveling real. As we stood in the circle, I called this child and that from many different lands. ( I want to say from the four corners of the earth because the image fits so aptly and it sounds good). We stood as God sent down light energy into us. I was about to explain to the children what was happening but realized that words weren’t needed; the event explained itself.
Words weren’t needed in the sky tunnel either. Even the new children seemed at home, running and exclaiming in surprise when they stuck their heads out the open window so high above the earth and looked down at the tiny people and cars and winding rivers. Then we stood at the final edge before a swaying curtain like wall that billowed forward and back, to and fro, and we all stepped off to adventure. Such a notion delights the children.
We took the children to the moon again because we decided that it was a good destination for most children. They all understand the moon and then the excitement of looking at the swollen green earth hanging above or below us in space, which never fails to amaze. Instead of speaking, I made sure to look at each child with a loving smile before they left, to assure each of the importance of standing on the moon.
I worried that I didn’t give each child enough time to share the sight, but Jesus told me I did ok. I suspect that the angels will somehow reinforce the experience for them as they grow older. I can’t tell you how pleased this makes me feel, this giving and receiving. The shine in a child’s eyes is a uncountable reward for so little effort. It bothers me sometimes that it is so easy, too easy, as if being harder would give it more meaning. In this, I am wrong, meaning isn’t measured in duration of time or effort, but in the love and hope that surrounds us. I must keep this in mind.
6/4/11
This morning I sent my mind into space. I imagined traveling like a spaceship into warp drive. It was fun for a moment, but then I stopped and thought I am supposed to meditate and visit with Jesus now.
Suddenly, Jesus said by my side, “I am here. I am everywhere.”
I laughed at the truth of his statement. Then more relaxed, I continued forward into the light. Suddenly, I saw the light as if for the first time and what it consisted of—images of hills and trees and mountains and people flashed by me as if projected from a movie camera. I never realized it before but God’s light is composed of the essence of all things, aliveness itself, or rather, existence itself, because the light included rocks as well as breathing life.
God, huge and wonderful, smiled at me from within the light; the projectionist of the universe. Jesus as himself, stood off to the side. I could feel his pleasure as my own. Delighted at this new idea of the light’s composition, I then remembered that night years ago when Jesus and Mary took me on a trip through space to show me The Source. The Source was God, of course. God in splendid array, God churning out matter from every breath, broadcasting everything into the universal now.
By the time I joined with the others, my heart was still pumping fast from the experience of seeing God and everything in the light. I showed my new understanding to every one as we joined hands. This day when the light filled our circle and ourselves, I knew and could see the myriad forms as this God-energy flowed through and around us, life itself flowing through our bones. This is one of those times when what I witnessed was so grand, I can’t do it justice with words. No exaggeration could share what I saw and felt as I reached this new understanding of God.
After our gathering, I went to various people who often join us and they showed me that they too are calling to the children, showing them that the mind is capable of walking through space and time. No one gives instructions or rules, just a momentary vision can convey all a child needs to know at this time. One day, they will come together and do wonders. This trend should be obvious because isn’t this what Jesus is all about, has always been about, enhancing life?
6/6/11
I felt greatly worried that I don’t do enough for God and heaven and voiced my worry to Jesus.
“All I do is sit at my computer and write. Is that enough? I think the only value of my writing is if it is read many years from now. What if it gets lost?”
Jesus said, “It will not get lost. It will be read.”
I felt slightly relieved at his words, but still wonder about my value and ability to help people. Jesus assured me I am doing enough. That it is a beginning of a planted tree that will produce fruit in the future.
I thought about this. Not for Jesus to create a sudden fad that explodes on the scene but fades away just as quickly. When Jesus is the director, things begin slow and gradually build up to a crescendo. I won’t be around to witness the final result. Well, maybe I will. I know I will be around for another life, a more scientific one next time, a life in which Jesus assures me I will still be a close friend. By the time our talk was over, we’d said more that I can write here. I felt greatly relieved and at peace as I leave all things to Jesus.
6/6/11
We did go back to the water planet. The same guide seemed to be waiting for us, sitting on a boulder beneath the sea. Because we began above the planet and saw a small island in the distance, we knew we were going below the surface and, to me, it was a little frightening. I felt like I was going to drown, but after a moment I adjusted to the sway of the waves and forget about drowning; the scenery was too colorful and bright blending into the dance of the sea.
The first thing our guide showed us was a field of grass that had lights growing up its stems.
“You don’t have this on earth.” He sent to our minds.
Truly, the field of grass lit up the whole floor of the sea where we floated. I got the idea that the people use these grasses to light up their homes. I received a lot of information all at once from our guide, which brought up the idea of communication. This is their usual mode of contacting each other, rather than speech, which needs air. They also have a system of code that they use by drumming their fingers or other item on a rock or shell.
Next he took us toward dark caves with colorful coral growing all around and up like mountains. He explained that they still had most of their world left to explore, like our own mountains and raw forests that are still unexplored or studied.
Then suddenly a huge giant whale came swimming up to us and looked at us with its large eye.
Our guide laughed, mentally. “It is a real whale brought from earth. Now we have two types of super intelligent being living on this planet. We may search the universe for more.”
Just like the Star Trek movie, I thought, and wondered if their purpose in bring the whales here was to enhance their own world or save them. I didn’t ask.
We saw more than is possible to write about here. We went inside a home and saw some kind of furniture sitting below the water level and other furniture above it. We were told that they sleep in the air part of the home because they do need to surface sometimes and this solves that problem. I understood they don’t need air as often as the whales.
It is an envious life they lead here on this water planet. It is hard to think of God filling the ocean like God does on a regular, air planet, but beauty aside, it is God’s constant presence that defines this as a paradise world.
With the universe turning forever around into infinity, I wonder if I might live in a place like this one day. Who can say. Life is forever.
“Children of
Light”
I did this painting a few months ago and put the imaginary
sky bridge in the foreground. Their golden eyes represent God.
6/17/11
I have decided to slow down with writing on the web for the summer. It seems to me that I have been repeating myself, which may be true because my work ethic encourages me to keep writing even when I don’t have an interesting tale to tell. Of course, I'll write what Jesus says to me or about any new travels.
Thinking of traveling, we could go to another planet a thousand times and still I wouldn’t run out of discoveries to write about, yet, the same is true of earth. I go outside and look at a single stem twisting up on a weed and find such beauty, it takes my breath away, a small detail that I ordinarily skim past without thought, to my shame. But then, imagine how many details I must walk past on any new planet Jesus takes me to. It would take many lifetimes to see all there is to see here on earth let alone some world far different. So what can I do? I am not sure. I suppose just keep writing what I see and leave the rest behind. Between the three of us who often travel together with Jesus, each of us must see a slightly different view, but I am the one writing about it down. I am sorry that what I write isn’t always detailed or precise enough. I tend to hurry through the memories after I leave Jesus. Oh, well. It isn’t like I can take a camera with me. Some day people will bring a camera to other worlds.
I have been in a funk of late. When I look at why, it all comes down to my art. For some reason I need to believe that my art is good or I am not good. I need the excitement of painting a good image. This can go on for a while, these funks of low esteem, and then somehow I break out of creative doom with my enthusiasm back up. It is up now because I really like what I am painting. It is based on the children of light, the children who will walk in the sky one day. Probably, that the only people who will ever want such paintings will be people who read what I write, which narrows down potential considerably.
No matter. What pleases me is doing a painting I like. I can look back and see that many of my paintings foretell the future, a recent future or one potentially true. Years ago, right after I got out of college, I did a painting of President Bush and FBI men meeting with beings who came in the ships who haunt our nights. This was before Bush even ran for president. So, did the painting foretell the future? The angels tell me it did, but we will never know for sure.
This weekend, I gave my granddaughter a simple painting of a small being, chained and imprisoned who was in great distress. At the time I painted the picture, my mind couldn’t let go of the idea that a small person, perhaps not of this world, was was screaming to be let out. I felt the need to paint the picture and began sending out thoughts of compassion and pleas for help to anyone who might hear. Finally, after long months, I felt the small person’s distress end. Now I wonder if this small person was from heaven, a child of light, like the children Jesus spoke of in the bible. Did this small innocent being come to earth, perhaps through time or space, to aid us humans, but got caught?
6/17/11
I just wrote I wasn’t going to write much, now, after visiting with Jesus and gathering with the others, I have so much to say, I am not sure I can put it all down. We gathered together in a meadow on Angel World, a world glowing with tall green grass, scattered with a million dots of wild flowers, beneath a vividly blue fluffy cloud filled sky and joined hands As we joined one barely visible hand to another, each of us called a child or two to gather with us in the prayer circle, and since we don’t use up any space, we all stood close together with Jesus touching each of our hands. Then as we called on God to send down the heavenly light, the most surprising thing happened, the light rained down in small squares of light, square bubbles, as if such a thing were actually possible in our physics. The squares of golden light filled all the space inside the circle, then moved outwards, splitting and multiplying all around and through us. I could see the squares of light tickled the noses of the children because they giggled as did I at the tingle on my skin.
Joyful is the only way to describe what we all felt this morning, and on my part, surprise, because this is what I plan on painting, the children of light with squares of different hues and textures falling away. Jesus knew this and so set up the surprise for me this morning. How lovely, but that wasn't the last surprise of the morning.
When I thought how lax I have been lately about sending out the light as prayer to other people and thought to make up for it this morning, the angels talked me out of it.
They said, “We will spread the light of God, you and the others take the children and travel with them.”
This is exactly what I wanted to do; so relieved, and sure that the angels could do a better job than me at spreading God's light, I went with the others and led the children away. We walked in the sky tunnel, the tree or essence that makes a bridge from earth into space for us. We found, or noticed for the first time, a few huge roots that seemed to anchor the tree to earth, then to begin the walk, we each put out a hand out to feel the smooth, reddish brown inner skin of the tree as we walked up its length. My hand could feel the pulse of the sky tunnel as if it were alive as I walked, and so it must be. The children skipped ahead or hung their bodies half out the large openings in the tunnel's side doing gymnastic tricks, almost certain in their belief that they wouldn't fall.
When we reached the edge, I told the children to walk into the swaying curtain because we were traveling to Mars. Each of us stepped through the curtain and out onto the soil of Mars. I imagined I could feel the large, grainy sand beneath my feet.
“One day, I am going to try to leave two foot prints here on Mars.” I told the others.
The children looked down at their own feet at this statement and tried to make footprints. Their failure reinforced the fact that they were here in mind only.
“I am not sure how I will do it without exploding, but I am making that promise. One day, maybe one of you, will find my footprints.”
They laughed and we all thought about the difficulty of leaving a footprint. A person would need to become physical for at least a moment and wouldn't they explode? I don't know. Still, I hope to do so one day and when people finally come to Mars in space ships, they will find two of my prints in the sand. A fun goal.
We went sightseeing into dark red, weird shaped caves and finally climbed to stand on top of the tallest mountain in the solar system. Some children kept dropping out of sight and coming back. I would reach out to them and pull them back, but let them know that this is normal, that I drop out of focus too. I explained that time is different when traveling and they could go home, do something else, and come back to this same moment and place. I tried to give each child a minute of individual attention as I spoke. Actually, I didn’t speak but sent a burst of information in a bundle of thought. Words are very slow and unnecessary when meeting in mental space.
Early this morning, I was thinking about the differences between our world a and a few that Jesus took me to visit. Our world is badly out of sync with heaven. So much is needlessly wrong here on this beautiful planet we call earth. A young child should never get cancer, but they do. On a paradise world such a sickness is unheard of because the world is so filled with God, sickness is not allowed to happen. I don't think there is a better example of how a dark wrongness surrounds us or how we could begin fixing it—fill our world with God-love.
6/22/11
I think all
Detroiters should start a class action suit against the
6/22/11
A few weeks ago, I mentioned to Jesus that I am not very good at meditation because I never really learned how to do it right.
Jesus said, "You already have what many strive for when they meditate."
I thought about his words and realized I could compare it to those people who heal others, they are instruments of God, God does the work through them. It is the same with these writings. It all depends on Jesus. I am just a conduit for what Jesus wants us to learn, and I must admit, I love every minute of it. I love writing on the web and love the new and interesting ideas Jesus throws at me, the puzzles, the speculations, the unique experiences. To me, this is the purpose of existence, to learn, grow, and become.
6/22/11
I see a worrisome trend percolating through American society, a subtle attempt to reduce the dignity of ordinary people to make them have less value. This is being done by hoarding all the wealth at the top and thereby reducing the many privileges that society built up over the years, privileges that often help make up a intelligent and well informed citizenry. Right now, police and firemen are being reduced all across the country. Libraries are closing, and other aids to ordinary people. Universities are becoming more expensive and if the trend continues, only the rich will be able to attend. Many of the safety nets that took long years to put into place are evaporating. More people are becoming unemployable by the fact of not working for so long. All this is going on while the people at the top, including many of our representatives roll in vast wealth. This is a wide swath of idea I've painted and maybe I am wrong or, if not, that we can turn our country back around towards the idea that all people have dignity.
6/24/11
Today when we gathered, it looked like rivers of people flowed in to join us, children and adults. I imagined that these were all the people through time who gather together to worship God. Before I began to meditate, I was thinking how we are all puppets with worldly wants and fears overriding us, pulling at our strings, moving us to want this or crave that, walk forward or turn back, held back by the puppet master instead of walking towards our freedom.
Then during meditation, Jesus said to me, “Those of you who gather here have loosened the strings.”
I thought about this and imagined it included all the mystics through history, the saints, the holy men and women, the prayerful and deep thinkers everywhere. Then I realized that even if we have thrown off the strings, we still must walk through life as if we still had the strings leading us. We still must play the part of being in the world. If this is true, then what is the difference is between puppet people and free people? I suppose nothing that shows on the surface because the world is blind to all strings. It is beneath, on the level of the soul that we run free, like children galloping across green fields, already touched by heaven, Yes, we march to a different drummer—God.
This is a statue of Mary in my yard. Hard to see the statue
in the photo.
6/25/11
I had a beautiful vision while walking with Jesus to join the others on God’s mountain top. I saw myself as representative of people who love God as I walked around the edge of a pink flower petal. I began at the center, walked the edge, and arrived back at the center, and then stepped on to another petal on the same flower and did the same. Rising above this image I saw that I had been walking on the petal of a rose had begun long ago and with the completion of every petal, I had moved on, evolved in knowledge, experience and holiness, until now I had arrived at the outer edges of the flower.
Then my view flipped to a wide field of roses floating away into the air as if God were spreading a flower garden throughout his realm to plant anew. My head probably filled with flowers because this is the month of June when everything comes into bloom. Still it was a beautiful and apt vision.
When I arrived to stand with the others I shared my vision which seemed to please them. Then they showed me a vision of their own: A view of time as a bubble floating in space that could expand or shrink and realized from this that time could be stretched to included whatever was needed, and it was. The bubble of our time together allowed time enough for God to spread light energy through and around us, to call others to us, and for visiting children to visit another place. The bubble of stretched finally burst when I decided to stop and write down what I had experienced.
I remember a time when Jesus showed me how he could shrink time by saying the rosary with me in five minutes, usually it takes at least fifteen. There is thousands of ways to view our world, aren’t we lucky that there are enough ways for all of us to see it differently and live various lives beneath and within God.
6/29/11
Jesus told me recently that this would be the last age for humans on earth, but he said it shorter, “The last time.”
Which only served to open up a lot of questions. I sit here pondering what he meant. I read about man’s inhumanity to man, the things we do to each other, and it seems to me that the torture of one human or the starvation of a single baby should be enough for God to end it all. God could have closed down the whole system, but he didn’t. So ideas run in my head about why not. What value do we the people evolved from monkey’s have, if any? Does God consider us a failure?
Jesus intruded into my thoughts, “Far from it.”
His words pleased me, but started my head spinning with thoughts about why. It seems we are worth saving after all? What is it that Jesus likes about us? Our kindness? Our ability to overcome obstacles? What greatness is there about us that balances all those many sins we commit every day? And then, why make this the last age?
I remember Jesus showing me the earth in the latter years of the sun, after it has become an honored park that people come from all over the galaxy to visit. So when he said this was our last time, he must have meant only humans, not the fauna or other life forms. We humans are meant to disperse far beyond our birth nest.
Perhaps he means that we will have been milked dry and those souls who are to become more do so in this final round of life and death. Then what of those who do not turn towards God? Will they have no more chances to become? That may be the case; yet, I hate to think that any souls would end up in some kind of hell. I'd rather think of them just blinked away, just gone, especially those people who refuse to believe they have a soul. Jesus has taken me to a few hells that I won't write about here, so I don't really know. All this is so far beyond normal time and space that I don’t know why I am thinking about it, except that I am trying to put Jesus words into perspective, and have failed to do so. Regardless, I feel greatly comforted that most of us will become worthy of a long and lasting life elsewhere.