11/2/09
I tend to forget that we need to exercise our minds just as we exercise our bodies and that if I don’t meditating often, I can loose my ability to concentrate. Today, I wound up praying for myself because I couldn’t seem to concentrate on God enough to gather in his light. So I concentrated the rosary on myself and family this morning.
I compare today with the other Saturday when God was so much there that he took hold of me and carried me forward. This is like the differences between a paradise world and our own. On a paradise world, God is everywhere evident, the air is saturated with God's presence and the people living there ride on a wave of Godliness in everything thing they do. On earth, although most believe in God, we need to call God to us with prayer and can’t always manage this.
Lately, I have referred to paradise worlds that I visited with Jesus a number of times. I think it would be wise to travel with Jesus to another one soon so I can write about it. Jesus already told me he has one in mind for us to visit.
God the Father as painted by
Michelangelo
11/2/09
I met with Jesus this evening and said I would like to go to the paradise world he promised to take me to. We walked for a ways on the mountain and met up with V and Y. They said that they wanted to join us. Then, just as we were about to leave, W appeared too and then a number of other people. It soon turned out that we had quite a crowd traveling with Jesus this evening.
It was for this reason that Jesus took us into the sky bridge first. It helped us accustom ourselves to travel with our mind. Many hadn’t been in the sky bridge before and admired the huge windows, butterflies, and green plants growing from the sides and floor. I explained that it was the children who added these simple touches. We all smiled at that, because of course, children would.
We walked to the end of the sky bridge (or sky tunnel, as I usually call it), stepped off, and found ourselves on a very flat stretch of sandy beach with a large body of water nearby, perhaps an ocean. We walked for a ways, and I noticed that we made foot prints in the sand. This was interesting in itself because usually our mental bodies make no imprint any place we go with Jesus. Not sure why it happened this time.
We didn’t go far before a lady walked to us from across the water. The lady seemed to float out of a mist or wave. She smiled at us and suddenly each of us were riding inside an individual bubble over the large expanse of water that was calm except for small waves. We could see trees and waterfalls as we approached the island that was our destination.
During the ride over, Jesus explained to us that the lady knew everything there was to know about each of us, our history and our future, before she met us on the beach. We'd been surprised at how easily we were accepted and invited to accompany her.
The island looked normal from the air and Jesus reminded us that a paradise world isn’t meant to be perfect. I suppose that nothing is truly perfect unless it is God. I felt overwhelmingly peaceful and think I can say that we all felt the same. None of us showed any excitement or an expression of exuberance. Perhaps we all felt subdued by the mood of the atmosphere which prevailed.
We landed on the island and the bubbles burst as any bubble would at a touch. We followed the lady into a white stone city to meet with an older white haired man who gave the impression of being not only old, but ancient. He wore wrinkles like they were a badge of honor, and he had many of them. As we followed him, he explained that everyone who lived on the island was quite mature. We walked into a town made of towering white buildings. Somehow, rainbows flowed past here and there, but if you looked closely, they seemed to disappear. Nothing was brightly colored or gaudy, even the sunlight glowed softly outlining the contours of the buildings. Everything in the city seemed subdued and quiet.
We followed the ancient man, who looked like an old prophet, to the side of a building next to a tree filled courtyard where great books were displayed on stands made of white stone. He lead us to one of the huge, heavy books on one of the stands. It was everything you'd imagine an ancient sacred book to look like, with gold trim at page edges. Y showed his amazement at finding that the huge book was filled with events from his own religion. V and W were shown similar books on the other stands. I noticed that certain pages of the each book glowed as if the information was holy.
"This is our job, to collect the treasured words for and about God." the older man told us. "We collect all the words and stories of how the people worship God. Only the most worthy elements from the various worlds are entered into the books, but all the information gathered together holds the complete history of the ways of God in the universe. This is our great treasure."
I am sure it was a great treasure. I could imagine how scholars would love to delve into each of those books to find missing information that has been lost to us.
There was a large stone well near-by circled by flat stones. I sat down on one and as soon as I did I was reminded of a painting I did once of a women at a well with memories of a horrible future. We were told that the still water of the well was actually a viewing screen. It could mirror an event from the past or future of any people or place in the universe. The people in the city used this well to gather their material about God. Other people had joined us by now and inter mixed with all of us. Everyone was friendly and smiling. Some of the people were younger, but I got the impression that everyone was mature, no matter what age their looks told. Finally, Jesus suggested it was time to leave.
“Will we ride back across the sea in bubbles again.? I asked.
“No, it is not necessary. We can just step away as we choose. As we walked away back towards the edge of the island, the people stayed behind in their city, and Jesus answered a few of our questions.
“Are all the people old?”
“They are what they want to be.” Jesus answered.
We all had noticed the quality of the air we breathed, how comforting it felt. we were pleased to have contributed to their treasure from our world. I felt the promise of the future here. Imagined all the knowledge they must stored here.
"Would it be like in a library?" I asked.
"Nothing like that," Jesus answered.
Puzzled for a moment, after a little thought, I began to understand. Things seemed to work like magic here on this island. The specific books pertaining to our own earth religions were set out just for us, produced as if out of thin air. Still I thought they must keep records someplace, perhaps inside their minds. That would be something, a universe of God’s words and thoughts inside a mind. Beyond that, I couldn’t think. I was almost glad to get home to my normal chair where I don’t need to stretch my mind into unknown realms beyond my ability. I am so glad I went, but just as glad to be home again.
11-2-09—note—I watched the Civilian Conservation
Corp on PBS tonight. It was great what
Our government handed out billions to save the banks. I have heard some people say that if the government had given each family $10,000 instead, the influx of all that money being spent right away, because which of us poorer folks wouldn't run quickly to the store to spend it, would have boosted the economy immediately. Of course, the government wouldn't do that. It is easy for many of us to think the government did it backwards, no matter what their excuse, and now us poorer folks need to wait for the benefits to trickle down. Onward and upward as Fritz used to say.
11/7/09
This morning, with all the sudden troubles I am having, I thought about struggle and change. It seems inevitable and even necessary. As for struggle, if we look outside at nature, all livings things have it hard at times, birds need to dig into snow for morsels, trees burn and the hunt is always on for food and we humans all ways have needs to be met. Cultures struggle too and some hardships bring about change like happened during the Great Depression. The book Grapes of Wrath gave us a vivid picture of what happened to people. I remember how proud self the Judds were before they were driven to the ground.
When I was younger, I used to keep asking myself, doesn’t anyone care? Actually, the answer is "No," but I didn’t understand that then. Somehow I grew up thinking that someone should care. How did I get that impression? Do all young people think that way? Well, it can be a cold world out there and seems to be getting colder. The news people can roll the words "10% unemployment" off their tongues easily but to someone who can’t pay the rent in two weeks, that simple phrase means death.
Well, as Jesus and I walked, I thought about these things. I thought about prayer as an aid to what ails us right now, in the material sense. I remembered Jim Cary answering everyone’s prayers with the push of a button in the movie and Jesus smiled with me at this. Can prayer help some one keep their home? I imagined that there must be a great many people praying right now for that exact kind of help.
Jesus said to me, “Not so many as you think.”
That surprised me. Jesus and Mary and all of Heaven will help us if we ask. Jesus is the first one I turn to when I need help. I can’t imagine a person at the end of their rope not asking heaven for help. I must have been like that once, forgetting to ask God for help. What happened to our world that so many people don’t think to call on God? Would it help if they did? Perhaps people don’t ask because they don’t see results fall from heaven like rain. Yet, I think our prayers are always answered, but in ways we don’t expect or recognize. Most heavenly gifts are invisible to us just as our souls are invisible.
Actually, there have been many occasions where someone in dire straights has asked for material help and got it. Yet, like Jim Cary, even if Jesus had the will and the ability, he couldn’t answer every prayer in the affirmative. Besides, we can’t see what this pain is leading us to on a social level. Perhaps there is a method in this madness. Perhaps we are learning a valuable lesson, or will? We don’t know. All we can do is struggle onward, if we dare, one step at a time as we wallow through this morass of bad money management and economy and remember God is with us. God makes all things perfect. If something is not great, then it is we who have failed, not God.
Still thinking about struggle and change, I asked Jesus, “It seems to me that without struggle there wouldn’t be life. What about those people we met on the paradise world? They don’t seem to struggle.”
Jesus said, “No they don’t struggle, but they have purpose. It isn’t struggle that keeps life going, but purpose.”
Neither of us needed to mention God because it is understood that God is the base from which all else derives—life itself.
11/8/09
I limped to church again this morning, and what a beautiful morning it was as I walked past the old homes with leaves turning the ground to ochre, green, purple and red. Some people have taken to filling their front lawns with plants and flowers instead of grass and it looks nice. Some people hadn't raked up the beautiful black and red maple leaves and I wondered if they wanted it that way. If so, I don't blame them. I loved crunching through the leaves on the sidewalk. The streets and empty fields around here look carpeted in gold.
I got off the subject of what I wanted to write about. The subject is my education. I just now realized that for the last ten years Jesus has been leading me to different churches for a reason. I went to churches with opposite views so I could experience them from the inside out. This morning, Jesus told me I should go to mass at St. Hyacinth Church more often.
I smiled at his words and said, “You have sent me to many different churches over the years. This is the church where I began, well the church I came back to after a long absence. What do I have to learn here?
Jesus didn’t answer and I should know by now not expect him to always answer. I will learn what I learn. Over the years, I have went to a lot of services at a very open, liberal church, an ultra conservative church, and now I am back to St. Hyacinth (only because my car isn't working). I didn’t stick to this church, beautiful as it is, because I am not polish although many people in the neighborhood were years ago.
This
morning, the church didn’t have great attendance and this made me think of the
churches in
Suddenly, Jesus spoke to me in a clear, firm voice.
He said, “My church will never die.”
I
choked up as he said this to me. It brought tears to my eyes. I looked through
my tears at all the angels who filled the pews. They fill the empty seats at
every church, but I don't always notice them. I thought about how bad things
are in the city and suburbs right now. Maybe people are getting desperate. Will
they turn back towards Jesus? Maybe the
younger generation will find reasons to come back to
In fact, a number of young families and single people have moved into our neighborhood lately, but I don’t know what religion they belong to, if any. Next week, I will try and go to the 11:00 mass at St Hyacinth because I think the church is full at the later mass. It will be today for sure because they are having a meatloaf dinner right after mass to celebrate Veteran’s Day. I’d like to go but need to wait for my son to come over and take me for groceries. Oh, to have my car back.
Well, another thing I have learned these last few weeks is where to put my worry. Not on little things like feeling left out or lonely. If I must worry about myself, keep it to the major items of concern such as transportation, shelter, food or a job. These are the basic necessities of life today and I pray for those who loose them. Surly jobs will improve soon. Well, enough sadness, let me stop and enjoy the day. It may be the last warm day we have before next spring.
11/14/09
So much to write today, at Jesus request, but I don’t know where to begin. Yes I do. I must begin with myself and my own guilt. I feel as guilty as Peter who denied Jesus three times, but not quite. I cheated but only for a few dollars; yet, it was enough to taint me. I am still surprised that I could sink so low. Of course, I need to pay it back somehow. I will send something to Catholic Relief Services, which makes me wonder how much charity funding is based on our own guilt? Interesting thought. Here is what I feel guilty about: As the worker put the trim on the window that I didn’t order, I kept telling myself that I wasn’t sure what I had ordered. I didn’t order it. Yet, I didn’t tell him to stop. I couldn’t find the words. Jesus smiles as I write this.
Even more interesting is the fact that I walked with Jesus this morning. I had a moment of fear that Jesus would not want to see me, that he would send me away. Nothing of sort. He did the opposite. He embraced me with his warm smile after I asked him to forgive me. He also told me to write about it.
“It is time.” He said.
I am not sure what he meant by that, but I am writing about it. We talked about my feeling of guilt as we walked to join the others. I certainly can't take on a ‘holler than thou’ attitude towards anyone, can I? Not even those government greed machines who have been found cheating. Who am I to think less of them? Of anyone? I just cheated myself. I can imagine the rationalizations they told themselves as they fell into sin. We all have many excuses as to why we do it: I need the money; It is only a small amount; They will never know, I need it more than they do, etc.
Jesus forgave me. God in heaven forgave me too. God sent down the light as he always does and Jesus took me to other people so I could help them, as I wondered all the while how I dare to help other people when I was tainted myself. I remember the rule in the Catholic Church stating that even if a priest who says mass is tainted by sin, the Holy Eucharist Celebration remains valid. Now I understand.
I wasn’t sure which people to go to. I have learned that I should only go to a few strangers during my meditation.
As I pondered where to go, Jesus said, "I will show you."
The first person we went to was a young boy who was burnt on one side of his body. I can’t stand to know the pain a person burnt goes through, especially a child, it hurts me as well. I imagined God’s finger of light as cool ice flowing on his burns to relieve the pain and perhaps heal him. I didn’t know where the young person was but wondered if it was the result of a bomb of some kind. This kind of stuff is happening at many places in our world.
Next,
Jesus led me to
I hugged him, but didn't think it got through to him and I still didn’t know what to say. Then I realized that Jesus had brought me here for a purpose, certainly I should think of something. I thought about what might be running through many of their minds, that like me, they too might be racked with guilt, whether they admit it or not.
Could the enemy be using their sense of guilt to drive them into shame, drive them to hate themselves, drive them to death. That is the feelings I had to change or put a balance to. Now I knew what to say and do—Give them the same thing Jesus gave me this morning—Forgiveness.
I said to the soldier I was near, "God forgives you.”
Was the statement to impertinent? I looked to Jesus for assurance. He nodded, so I continued. “I said into the man’s mind, "Ask God for forgiveness. He will forgive you." I waited a few moments and said once more, "God forgives you.”
As I said this, and I sent God's light into his mind to let him know that God was close, available, and willing to forgive.
I went to a number of young men, tough men in battle but who just needed the assurance of knowing they were ok.
"God forgives you," I said over and over as I sent them God's light.
Will
it work? I hope so. It is bad enough to loose our young men fighting in battle
for us, but worse that any should take their own life. We can’t imagine what
they went through in
What’s even worse is that the men and
women we send into battle are the cream of the crop, the best young ones
11/15/09
When the male choir at St. Hyacinth sang the prayer of St. Francis that begins “Let me be a channel of your peace,” this morning my heart expanded with love for God and all of heaven. I reflected with Jesus how important music is to our worship at all the churches. Good music has the ability to touch us deeper than any lecture and we probably learn as much from song as from many other means. They sang this song in English but many of the other songs were in polish which was fine with me. It is like listening to opera, it doesn’t always matter what the words are, the music is the message. Actually, half of the early mass is in Polish and half in English. The later 11:00 am mass is all in English. I am thinking of inviting my youngest son to come home to go to mass at St. Hyacinth one Sunday. This is where he was baptized and made his first communion so it should have some relevance to him. My grandchildren might be amazed to see such a beautiful church. I will e-mail him today. He might even buy one of the $50.00 bricks for the courtyard with his name on it. I can’t afford to, so I will suggest it to him. The church is so beautiful, it deserves to be kept up to show the next generations how much labor and love when into building churches long ago.
A Community Garden at the corner of Moran and Farnsworth
(Wish I could get mine to look as good)
11/18/09
With
so many groups and people putting
I
joined the Garden
Resource Program towards the end of summer but didn't know much about it
until I went to a meeting last night. The hall was filled with people
interested in growing produce in
I don't want to earn money with a garden, all I want is to grow flowers and zucchini, which I love. I am going to grow enough zucchini to last all next winter, and maybe try to grow corn again. This last year, I think the pheasants, who I still love to see roam on the grass, may have eaten the corn seed. This year I will put up a low fence to keep them out.
11/21/09
This
morning I had the notion to gather as many people as I could, those who were
praying or thinking of God, so I began walking across
As I called people to gather, I suggested they gather others and pull in as many people as they know who love God. During this time, I was with other people who were praying, but I also went to help a few youngsters. One young man (or boy) was in a very serious rage. I tried to calm him down. If I could, I would catch someone before their rage moves them to do something so stupid it changes their life. Just recently, the news was full of the father who got into such a rage that he shot his son, but his neighbors say he is a good man. A minute later, a moment to reflect, and he probably would have chose another course of action.
We've all done stupid things in the spur of the moment, things we wish we could undo. Some acts, are so terrible, they can't be undone. I would like to encourage a person to halt at that point, stop and think, wait one more minute before doing something drastic. Too many young men act before they think. It is too sad to see kids only fifteen years old, go to prison for life because they acted thoughtless and stupid for a minute. [I am editing this December 3 and just read about two boys going to prison for life, imagine living the next 60 to 70 years in such a place. I shudder at the thought.]
Stress often drives us to stupid acts or to loose our temper. I am as capable of loosing my temper as anyone else, although as I get older, I seem more calm and less likely to act rash. Loosing one's temper seems to be a relief valve at the time, I mean it is fun to throw a dish, but a minute later, the dish is gone and you are left with only shame for loosing control. So it never works out right. I would help, if I could.
My purpose this morning was to find one or two youngsters who were upset or about to loose control. I chose youngsters because they seem more open to a word or silent hug. I doubt if I can help an adult in an angry mood, but I try. When I meditate and feel full of God, I want to share the feeling with everyone, or at least, use God's energy to help others. I am never sure if it works with an individual, but I do know that it is advantageous for us to gather together, mentally or physically, in prayer. It increases the aura of God in our world.
11/27/09
I asked Jesus to take me to Ribbon World this morning. I have went there by myself in the past, but I felt like I needed Jesus to go with me this day because I needed the quietude of River World around me. We stood above on a small rise of land and looked down at the area that is so strange yet holy. Like looking at a lake made out of air. I walked down through the weeds and bushes and stepped into the liquid air as if I were stepping into a deep lake.
Before long, I joined a long line of gowned people with their heads bowed in prayer. We walked in a steady pace, always forward, one foot, then another, with never the need to look where the next step would take us as we twisted and turned in wide curves within the silent sea of air. The mindless pattern of slow steps, and the air, so thick that it almost carries a person's weight, contributes to the awesome effect. Not exactly like walking under water, but close, I imagine.
I watched as a yellow Ribbon God weaved through a person in front of me. It is an amazing feeling, and before too long, red one came to flow through my center. I kept my pace as I felt it enter and slowly slide through my body, its transparent length gifting me with quietude and knowledge. For this is what the Ribbon Gods are, repositories of knowledge, beings who gather and give back information. The Ribbons hold vast sums of information, like library holds books, but gathered from all ends of the universe.
I don't know why they don't need to flow through the brain to gather this knowledge, the knowledge from each participant seems to be in any cell of the body. They give as well as receive, and I am sure I was given back more than I gave. I won't recognize this new knowledge yet, or maybe for a long time. It takes a while for it to enter my consciousness, if it ever does.
After the gift from the red Ribbon, I continued meditating and following the robed person in front of me for a while until I felt like I was loosing my ability to concentrate. Then I left and walked back up the slope to meet with Jesus. He smiled at me, as he always does when I leave this place, as if he knows a secret that I have yet to learn. I feel delighted with the notion and hope to discover that secret one day.
Note-I tried to paint Ribbon World once and failed. I just couldn’t capture the aura of it. I think I will try again, only this time’ll try painting it in water colors.