9/5/09

Ah, this morning was deliciously wonderful. Before I met with Jesus I set aside all the debris of my life in silver bricks at my feet, piling it up in high towers like children's blocks, so many I didn’t know I had, or maybe I was just having fun. Finally I'd had enough, pushed the blocks down and they became light as paper and blew away as particles in the wind. All this to get in the mood.

Jesus put out his hand and I reached for it then stepped upon the mountain of God. stepped from the blowing tissue paper of my life to Jesus and then to the hard rough feel of stone as I rubbed my hand over a large boulder. I told Jesus I needed to feel the boulder to orientate myself because I felt light enough to float away. Much taller than me, he smiled down as I rubbed the gritty surface of the huge rock. Then we walked down to a slight depression in the mountain to join the others who were already gathered, as is most often the case, into a circle. A few nodded at me as I arrived and I wondered at their ability to meditate and yet notice my arrival, but then realized that some of my close friends are so good at prayer and meditation they become insightful of all that surrounds them during such times, even though they may be visiting many places at once.

I treasured the feeling of so many minds and hearts in the circle as I joined my hands to theirs and became one with God, almost melted into the golden hue as I breathed in and out. God became my world, body filled with God substance, which of course fills all of us to some degree and gives us life, though most hardly notice or give God credit.

While I stood in the circle, I walked with Jesus into the world, a world consisting of many wrinkles and open rips or tares in the fabric of events, faults turned and hardened to steel. As we walked near, I watched as the glowing energy of God emanating from our bodies soften each specific area until it became pliable and soft like leather. As I prayed and concentrated, at Jesus' suggestion, God's radiance grew brighter; the leather softened and became soft like cloth, even tissue paper.

At this point, I began sewing a few of the torn streak together, no different than if I were sewing two pieces of cloth together hanging in front of me. I used golden thread for the stitches so the holes wouldn’t separate again so easily. I did this over and over under Jesus supervision, walking to various places to fix and mend holes in the fabric of events. I also smoothed out some wrinkles by spreading my hand, hot from God's energy over the cloth like an iron. I noticed as I did so that some wrinkles seemed permanent as if they were such a deep part of events that they could not be changed. I understood from Jesus that this was true, so, I concentrated on those I could iron out.

I was enjoying myself in this imaginary land of wrinkled and torn events, even getting lost amid its chaos when Jesus suddenly directed me to a specific event that needed mending. A young child, a boy I think was hurt badly by a car. He was in danger of dying. I saw the torn fabric as an empty triangle hanging above him, threatening death. With much God energy in my hands, I softened the area until it was pliable, then began to sew the torn parts together, stitch after worried stitch, until the tare was closed up into a mere wrinkle.

Suddenly, a group of angels broke into my awareness and said, “This is what we did to save your own son when he got hit by a car.”

I had always felt that heaven had stepped in to save my son when, at five years old, he ran across the street in the rain and was hit by a car. How thankful I was then, and know I understood what they did to ensure that he would live.

"I promise to continue to save children where I can." I told them.

Next Jesus and I went to a children's cancer ward and found many holes in the fabric of the place. On Jesus instructions, I began to sew as may together as I could reach, but felt a sense of anger as I did so, anger that children should face such dangers. Soon, I realized that the anger hindered the work, so I concentrated on the wonderful doctors who worked so diligently to save these children. Sewing up defects would benefit them too.

We went to a few others, all children, and prevented accidents or serious consequences where ever we could. I am certain that the angels do this all the time, but we make their job hard, if not impossible, by covering our world with hard hearts and blank, godless. (This reminds me why I put so many wrinkles at the base of all my paintings. To me, it mirrors our imperfections). What ever the cause, war, accidents, guns and hate, we have far too many tragedies until even the largest group of angels can’t intervene to save us. We should all join in their effort.

I know some would wonder, is this for real, did this really happen, the sewing up of events in the fabric of our lives. I mentioned the idea to God that many would question the truth of it.

God said, "It is all true."

I explained that I still needed to write about the doubts and questions. It is good to face our inner doubts. God assured me of the truth, so my own doubt was erased. I think God's understanding and Jesus effort to intervene, or teach me how, tells us something about the nature of God's place in our reality.

Some people scream their woe and cry out, "Why does God allow this."

But it isn’t God who allows it, it is ourselves wallowing in a sinkhole of crud with evil at the helm that helps create the deep wrinkles and breaks, what some might call karma and others fate. Our dream events should run smooth with only small wrinkles that give lessons in life; instead, we often face great chasms, our societies at the cliff's edge ready to fall off. My writing is now running away past my thoughts and I'd better pull them back together.

I was back and aware of the circle once more, with God as my substance, again breathing in and out the golden mist, still holding a thousand hands, one atop of another, again amazed at the wonder of it all. I was ready to nod good-by, but before I left, a few of us took a few moments to go down into the dark grey cavern. We were surprised at what we found, far less people than before and the cavern was lit up, as if the sun had finally poured its rays inside. I am not sure, but I like to think that perhaps we helped turn the people towards God’s energy.

Back in the circle, again, this time I did say good-by. I wanted to begin writing so I wouldn't forget my experience with Jesus this morning. Often, I don’t realize the full extent of what Jesus had taught me until later, but this morning I feel that I accomplished much. Probably, I should meditate and do this more often, but would burn out too easy. In fact, I have been lazy all summer but think I will get back to traveling with Jesus soon. A few others want to travel again too, which is a good incentive to begin our visits and travels again.

9/9/09

Jesus and I talked for a short while last evening, a very short while because the mosquitoes were in a feeding frenzy, drawing blood. I tried to put a small wrinkle around in an attempt to stop them, but failed. Smash, slap and it was time to go into the house.

Yet, what Jesus implied during those few moments of talk in the back yard put a bog smile on my face; I almost laughed out loud from the joy of it, and still chuckle at the thought. It is this: Jesus has been slipping information about the angels into my writing all summer and I hardly noticed. I suspect he did it this way because he knew I would have a problem this summer with our usual visits: either I was too busy, or under pressure, or in the hospital, or….

What ever the cause, we didn't have many visits this summer that concentrated on the angels, as I thought we would for Jesus to give me the information. Instead of long discussions, he and a few angels gave me short bits and pieces to write. Actually, I remember Jesus specifically telling me at the beginning of summer that he intended to jump around with their story, which might turn out to be our story too, unless we can prevent it.

I did feet a slight sense of guilt that we hadn't sat and talked as much as usual, but feel less guilty now. Besides, as Jesus told me just recently, "I have as much time as I need." To this, I would add, Jesus has enough time, but do we?

9/11/09

This evening, I realized that my dog barely notices that television exists unless she hears a dog bark in a movie, yet, she is a very intelligent Belgian Sheppard, almost a year old now. Thinking about it caused me to take note of all the things that she seems to ignore. She never looks up at the sun or moon, not even with her historic wolf genes. She mostly takes note of interesting, doggy things, such as me, food, people, bugs, toys, people or dogs, and whatever she can get into during the long house that I am at work.

When I look around and see all that she misses I can't help but compare her to myself and wonder: "What is it that I am missing? What do Jesus and angels in heaven see compared to our own vision? How narrow is our view?"

At different times, Jesus has tried to show me views of earth vastly different than what we consider normal: As interlacing layers, or as separate but invisible shells, or as a time stream running on forever, forwards and backwards, or as colored by human emotions, but I could never hold on to any of the visions for more than a second. My powers of concentration were not strong enough to see deep for very long, but just putting the bits and pieces together of some of what Jesus has showed me proves that there is a more substance to our earth, and presumably the rest of the universe, than we imagine. I remember one specific view where all the multiple levels that surrounded our planet were transparent as if made out of glass, yet moving in time and place.

I remember asking "Is this how all of heaven sees our earth all the time?"

His answer implied that their views of earth depended on how they wanted to see us at any given moment.

I conclude sadly or maybe by necessity, that all of us on the planet live inside a doggy view of true reality. Scientific instruments give us a excellent glimpse into this reality, but not a complete one. Like a flashlight beam, we only see what we are aiming for, which leaves a vast part still darkened by our ignorance. Perhaps we should be grateful that, at least, those in heaven can see it all, and still loves us.

9/12/09

I had a hard time letting go of the many thoughts about the day this morning. I tried letting them fall like paper rocks and then kicking them away, but it took a while to clear out my mind. When I did finally get clear and could concentrate, Jesus came, took my hand, and led me to my favorite waterfall. Perhaps he sensed that I needed its beauty this morning, the dark, deep pool surrounded by huge gray boulders, green vines twisting and growing with abandon and water a constant trickle down the stone walls. Ah, I breathed in peace as Jesus sat next to me on the natural rock ledge.

I felt like this was heaven, and in truth it is these qualities that fill heaven, a beautiful sky, bountiful water, rocks, plants, animals, and intelligent minds filled with peace and contentment. I felt like I had already arrived in heaven, and both Jesus and I sat for a seemingly long time together, which pleased me greatly.

Thinking of heaven, I asked Jesus about the other planets and if some of them were without high intelligent life. If so, it seemed like a waste for a planet to have fauna and animals, but no higher life forms.

Jesus told me that some planets, and there are more planets than we can ever see or understand, are purposely left without higher intelligent life so that humans could one day find them and colonize them. It is all part of the growth pattern of the universe, a universe made for all of us and filled with unique forms of life, from trees to people and other things we humans can’t conceive of yet. I thought of earth as a ‘birthing planet’ and Jesus didn’t disagree with my description. Yes, a riotous, hub of ignorant, curious, intelligent, productive, life bent on exploring the next mountain or the next planet. With all our faults, God knew what he was doing when he formed us. Go out and multiply, and that surly we will do.

Finally, we stood, ready to join and pray with the other people on the mountain. Both V and Y greeted me and seemed ready to travel with Jesus this morning, but I didn’t feel up to it. I recognize that I need to pull myself together in this regards and don't know why I have been putting off traveling with Jesus. For me, this has been a goofy summer. As I stood in a circle with the others, I realized that I had a real purpose to being here, we all did, and that purpose is to help the angels do the job of saving us. We can try to help angels as they open more minds to God, prevent accidents and tragedies, save people from deep mistakes, warn of danger, and save lives and souls, one inch at a time.

At first, this morning, I felt unable to go and help others because I needed help myself. It isn’t that I was in trouble or worried about anything, it was that I felt lacking in God substance, I needed a real jolt from God, an awakening—and I knew just where to get it—God’s fountain—a place where I would bask in Godliness.

Jesus walked me to the edge of the fountain that shimmered so brightly it seemed to light up the whole universe behind it. As I walked in deeper and deeper, its golden waves fell on top of me in gulps of liquid gold through my body like clouds. Deeper in I put out both of my hands and could only see a thin outline of myself. I was melting into the fountain; becoming a part of the fountain. I stopped moving forward because suddenly there was nothing to walk on or see beyond the golden hue that had seeped into my bones and enclosed me. Enshrouded by God essence, I joined the fount of life, the Source of everything.

All this lasted mere moments, but by the time I stepped out of God's Fountain, I saw that I had stayed slightly longer than a half hour. It is usual for me to meditate for twenty minutes or less because I easily loose my focus. Time seemed to vanish as I stood in the fountain along with my sense of self. I feel great now, even holy. Thank you God.

9/13/09

During mass this morning, as I read prayers praising God’s magnificence and thought about how thankful I was to be included in this worship. Usually, I use my own words to tell God how much I love him, but the prayers during mass sings praises to God more elegantly than ever could. I took a moment to reflect with Jesus how he helps keep his church alive and fresh, yet still old and traditional by stepping in when needed or inserting an idea here and there. Then turned back to the missal and saw a prayer asking Jesus to do just that, to keep his church holy. I smiled at Jesus, thinking he probably helped inspire the prayers for the mass because it seems to work so well.

Then later just as Father Perrone turned to the people, I thought I saw a fleeting flicker of light near him, and as he held up the host, there was Jesus, his body overlaid atop the priest's, it was as if Jesus was the one holding up the host, and not Father Perrone. Jesus did this to show me that he participates fully in every mass, everywhere. And here we are, actually receiving Jesus in a communion wafer without understanding the tinge of power we are being given. With each communion host Jesus’ essence comes intimately inside of each one of us. This bit of knowledge felt so wonderful, I wanted to cry with joy. Jesus as the light of the world is sharing his light with us so we can shine it upon other people. Each time we go up to communion, we are truly living a great moment.

For myself, I need to go to mass and receive communion at least once a week. It is like bread that feeds me energy, least I fall by the wayside. The sermons help also by giving my soul batteries a boost. We all need a full charge often in today's world. Maybe this is what the church means by grace. All of us tend towards inertia, but by the grace of God and the church, we keep going, like the energizer rabbit. Ha

9/13/09

I sat outside in the back yard this evening, and after meeting with Jesus and praying for a number of people, we walked to meet with V and Y. We had already decided to travel with Jesus this evening to a different world with Jesus choosing what where we would visit. When we travel with Jesus we don't need to walk through the sky tunnel; so, as soon as we gathered together, we suddenly stood on a different planet, but very much like earth. What caught my eye right away was a small, shimmering cross set in marble stone with wood built around and beneath it for a platform. Except for the shimmer of light, the cross and what surrounded it looked very primitive. Upon closer inspection, we saw that the cross shimmered each time it changed shape, one minute a cross and the next a picture of Jesus, a cross again, a picture of another person, cross and so on. The cross was most frequent and prominent.

We looked around and saw a lot of growing bushes divided by worn paths, long and sinuous, curving this way and that baring the soil between plants.

Jesus explained that this was a group of monks, a group from the first dispersal or scattering outwards from earth, that choose to live austere and primitive lives.

I wondered if this whole, big beautiful world had only a small sect of monks living on it, and could hardly credit such an idea. I was wrong in this. Jesus told us there were other small groups sharing the planet, but not many. Earth scientists had found many planets seemingly empty of intelligent life, as though they were sitting there waiting for people to settle on them.

I remembered what Jesus had told me just recently about such planets. “Then it is true?" I asked, and then felt ashamed that I should doubt.

He smiled, "Humans are meant to find such planets and none of the new planets will ever become as over-populated like earth is now. The deepening problems of an overpopulated earth stay with the few people who leave earth."

I wondered how they could produce all that they need and Jesus answered that a supply ship come by on a regular schedule and the monks send back what they grow to earth as payment for goods.

"It sounds just like a science fiction story." I said, and the others nodded their agreement.

Jesus smiled, but didn't comment on this. I think he probably influenced a few of those stories himself.

Jesus explained to us that this wasn’t one of the heaven worlds. As soon as he told us I could feel that it wasn't filled with God, but wondered why not. Certainly, it wasn’t lacking in God because I am sure the monks prayers could easily fill the air considering the absence of constant, emotional strife like we have on earth. What makes the difference, I wondered.

Jesus only answer was, "They will do very well here for a long time."

I find it amazing that there are still monks in the far future, and this must be very far into the future for people to transport to other planets, but I don’t think V or Y found it strange at all. In fact, I think the fact of monks are ingrained so deeply into the Catholic, Buddhist and a few other religions that monks will be with us always. I remember hearing on one of my tapes that the longevity of any religion depends on the holiness of its monks, that it is these saints who carry it forward and keep it alive.

On this planet, some form of Christianity still lives, but I got the impression that the shrine seemed a mixture of many different religions.

As I thought these things, we had began walking down one of the long twisting paths worn down from years of walking meditation. Vegetation, that looked strange to me, grew everywhere there wasn't a worn path and I wondered if this was their garden also. I saw few flowers, but for all I knew, this could have been their winter season.

Jesus told us there was little rain in this area during certain seasons, and for this reason, the monks had put in an underground watering system for their plants. This must mean that they were willing to use technology when it became necessary.

We left shortly after walking down the path. My impression while there was of quietude, peace, hardship and happiness. I imagined the monks must be happy to live in this way, or why choose it?

9/15/09

Jesus told me he is going to heal a few people. I think he isn’t going to do this in a spectacular way, but rather, slowly so it looks like all the doctors efforts are fruitful. The angels told me once that this is how they prefer to heal now, that they don’t choose to make a scene by surprising people. Perhaps they found it unproductive for faith. Everything is done for faith. Everything they do is bent on saving us from ourselves.

It seems to me that miracles would always be welcome, but maybe not. Maybe a miracle causes too much publicity or too many scientists step in to debunk every miracle. Maybe that is why when miracles do happen today, they don’t look like miracles. Yet, the recipient knows very well that heaven has stepped in with help.

I don’t know why, but Jesus has been showing me how to heal. All I can do, even with Jesus standing next to me, is maybe move a pinched nerve, or heal a minor scratch or relieve some pain. Maybe I will never be able to do more. It is just that sometimes my heart goes out to people who seem desperate, especially children. I God wills it, I will continue trying to learn how to relieve some suffering as a way to call souls to Jesus.

9/16/09

Wednesday, I sat outside, by my half developed pond, and spoke with Jesus V and Y again. We followed Jesus on a short trip as he explained certain things about the angels. We stopped next to an angel who was so white, he almost glowed. The angel was working on something I didn’t recognize unless it was a loom. She smiled at us as Jesus spoke. He explained that we earth people see angels differently at times because of atmospheric changes. I imagine it is like looking through a fog verses a bright sunny day, but Jesus' meaning seemed to also include emotional atmosphere. Angels often reflect their surroundings, and if and when we see them, a our own emotions and needs as well. I understood Jesus to mean that we see what we want to see, that sometimes an angel can appear like a glowing rainbow, a wisp of air flying through the sky, or like a normal human walking down the street.

“Then it is true what I write in my book? Angels really do come to earth as humans?”

“Yes. They can visit as pure mind, by sharing the mind and eyes of a person, or as individuals in their own right.”

"But not every angel has our best interest at heart?” I asked.

“No," Jesus said and explained the dark angels. "Think of time as a million steps leading to the top of the sky and each step is a world full of angels with their own emotions able to visit the human past. Once angels (as people) learn how to step into the time zones, there is no stopping them, whether their intentions are good or bad. Some levels or steps produce angry or ignorant angels while the majority are just curious and many, usually from the far future, are holy. The range is wide."

I have paraphrased what he said to us, but believe I got most of it right.

The pond I am fixing for next year My dog Kali

9/19/09

I felt like the people in the city really needed prayer this morning, so when I met with the others, I tried to gather as much energy from God as I could, enough to send all over the city. God gives us as much as we can carry, and this morning I felt bent down with God substance and true thankfulness for God's gift. I promised to use it wisely and soon set the heavy bundle of energy down in the center of Detroit to let it shine like the downtown. Jesus smiled and said. "I like that."

Well it was a nice image.

Encouraged by his words, I held the bright image for a while and then let its substance roll forward like waves from a central lake to touch everything in its widening path until the whole of the city was covered in golden light then the suburbs, countryside state, and onwards.

During all this, I met a young boy, why does it always seem to be young boys who are in distress, and tried to hug his worries away but probably it didn’t work. I don’t think he could see me because he was older, about nine years old. Yet, his soul saw me and this is sometimes enough to pull a person out of a slump, especially children who tend to live for the moment. I came back to the boy later and saw that he did act as if he felt better as he played with his little brothers and sisters. Sometimes children take the weight of the world on their shoulders because of an ugly parent, but most are able to work it out. I believe this boy will.

I was glad that I met the boy. It reminded me that we should be specific with our prayers, but this morning I truly felt that the city needed a lot of prayer, perhaps because it is just now beginning to push out of its doldrums. Isn’t that where the most danger lies, during those last moments of recovery? Well, I have great hope that we will recover, splendidly.

9/25/09

Sometimes, if I can’t sleep, I get up and say a rosary in the middle of the night, usually about 3:00 am in the morning. God’s energy filling me during these quiet moments and I find that it rolls out of me across the city and land easily, as if there is less hindrance to the flow in these early morning hours. It must be that the million plus active minds running about in cars, seeing to this business and that, constantly moving, jostling, and interacting tends to block the flow of the golden energy from God. The difference is palpable as I pray, but this could be a reflection of my own quietude as well as the quiet outside. I should state that it is never truly quiet outside because of the traffic on I-94 about ten blocks from my house, but the volume seems to turn down to a whimper during the early morning hours.

With everything so quiet, I felt no resistance as I sent the rosary prayers riding on golden energy throughout America. I have been neglecting to meditate during the rosary lately because I have get busy and resort to saying it in parts, a decade here and a decade there, throughout the day. The most effective rosary prayer, I have found for my self, is to sit back, relax, and send out God's energy to specific people I can visualize. Visualization is important to me because it shows me where the prayer is going which gives me feedback in the sense of accomplishment, which encourages more prayer. This method may not work for everyone, but it fits in well with my artistic bent.

9/26/09

I didn’t spend much time meditating this morning because I had someplace to go, but God seemed to make up for it by giving me an amazing vision I met with Jesus and we went to meet with the others who greeted me as always. I noticed that both V and Y were walking around greeting people at the same time they were standing in the circle meditating. Interesting how our abilities continue to grow. We humans never stop learning.

As I stood in the circle, I felt completely filled with God and began thinking how God energy created everything we touch and see, and therefore, might be fixable with God power. Suddenly, a net of light flowed from my body as if I was weaving a cloth of magnificent material, material that tossed and turned beneath a gentle wind flowing out into the universe. The vision was dramatically stunning, most especially because the lace net seemed to be flowing from my own body, with God in attendance and wrapped around me like a warm blanket on a cold day.

I thought to use this weaving of light to smooth out a few wrinkles in the world of action and reaction, substance and abuse, and did. Over and over, I sent out God's light. Weaving and pressing wrinkles smooth. Some places seemed like thick cloth, heavy with debris of life, and other places thin and hollow, in need of a patch, like walking through air that changes from foggy to thin and back, but all was amendable to the light weave flowing through me from God. I felt beautiful during the whole time we walked over the land.

9/28/09

Jesus is always in church, and yesterday was no exception. We spoke for a few minutes about nothing in particular until he told me about a few people who needed my prayers. During the rosary after mass, I sent the prayers to the people Jesus had mentioned, glad to have specific people to direct it to, though, I usually try to visualize the prayers wrapping around a person and then penetrating their souls, my own as well, when needed. When our church first began the rosary after mass, I wasn't sure if I had time for it, but now I relish the huge potential such a large group of people weld while praying in common and sending petitions to God for the betterment of many souls. What a wonderful way to leave church every Sunday.

9/28/09

I see a lot of articles about what the big money cheaters did to us as a nation, but I haven't yet seen anything written that compares them to the other infamous cheaters of ten years ago—the ones who got everyone so riled up and crying for blood—welfare cheats. I asked the question before and ask it again today—how much can some little person on welfare actually cheat us out of? Maybe a few thousand, here and there, if they lie big about the number of kids. Now look, instead of little welfare cheaters, we are faced big, huge ones, who are making thousands, even millions of us suffer. We would have been better off keeping the welfare cheats.

It took many years of long struggle to put a safety net in place for poor people, and because a few people abused the system, we quickly concocted strict laws that put harsh limits on government help.

Can't we do the same for Wall Street? Shouldn't we give the top 10% as harsh a limit as we gave the bottom 10%? Give those who mismanaged or manipulated our government out of billions strict rules to play by? So far, most seem to have escaped paying any price for the suffering they caused, are still causing. The newspaper reported that the gap between the top and bottom earners has grown even wider than it was before, that our wages, those of us who still have a job, have shrunk while the top percent has grown fatter.

What an upside-down world we live in. To say that the system we live in lacks Godliness is such an understatement, it is laughable, but Godly or not, we can't help but to keep pushing forward in the muck and keep praying. Or should we demand more? Ask why more people aren’t calling for heads to roll? Ask for harsh limits on the ladder top? Ask for leaders who demand accountably? Ask for change? I think the feeling is out there. The feeling for change has certainly picked up in Detroit recently.

I intend to check out Michael Moore's latest movie about capitalism. Maybe it will hit a few truths we need to confront, and a few nerves. I commend him for daring to put ideas out there that rattle our brain cages.