My pond. Needs to be
fixed—again. Maybe next time I will do it right.
8/3/10
It is still hot even though it is early evening and I sit and listen to the trickle of water in my pond wishing to cool off. There is a slight breeze which helps. Jesus suddenly put out his hands to me: Golden hands, glowing with love and energy. I felt grateful that Jesus would think about me after all the times during the day when I seem to forget him. No matter. He brushes my misgivings aside like the breeze.
Still feeling warm, I chose to go to a waterfall before we traveled. I stood to the side of the pounding water and let the cold mist sprinkle my body.
“If you chose, you know can go any place in the world.” Jesus said.
I told him, "I remember you telling me, but I usually forget.”
He smiles. He tells me that this evening we can travel to a world that abounds in water. He adds, "To help you get cool."
He smiles again. I so love his smiles. The whole sky seems to shine in joy.
As soon as Jesus decided where we would go, the others join us. I am slightly surprised at this because surly it must interrupt their day.
“Not really. It takes all of five minutes to travel with Jesus; although, it seems the trips take longer,” one of my friends answered. (I hesitate to give them labels such as letters like I used to, so I just keep quiet about their names).
As a group, we walked up the sky tunnel, each of us feeling the smoothness of the mental tree bridge in our own way. When we reached the end and stepped off, we stood in a high, arched shrine, with water splashing from the sea on to the bricks and stones that formed its floor. I stood back to get a better view and saw that it was a huge arch that seemed to rise out of the sea but really stood completely on land. Wide, open steps lead far down into the water.
“This is the only construction on land of its kind on this world.” Jesus told us.
He explained that it is used for worship. The people have other natural caves above the water but most of the time, they live beneath the surface of the sea.
“You wouldn’t understand their various constructions beneath the sea. These people are as at home beneath the water waves as you are beneath a mile of air. Further, he explained that the people chose to stay beneath the water, perhaps like our whales once did, rather than go up on the land. Some people were pushing for more land based activities because the people could live in both environments. Eventually the people will need to make a decision on where best to develop their civilization, land or sea.
Suddenly, Jesus said, “They know we are here.”
As he said this, a blue person walked up the wet, stone steps and stood next to us. The person was of normal height and could have been human except that the face seemed out of proportion and strange. Also, there were huge webs between the person’s arms and legs. The person contemplated us as we contemplated it, and then move its arms and legs to show us the webs. Damp clothing, of a sort, clung to its central torso.
Jesus added, “They have of superior mental powers, too.
I wondered at this and imagined that this might be because they have less need to use their minds on material things.
But Jesus said my supposition wasn’t true. They did a lot of construction beneath the sea and he took us down deep beneath the surface to show us one building that we might understand.
It looked like a giant white flower, three times my size, but as we watched, a blue person floated into its center, and the flower curled up and enclosed the person. A view from Jesus of the inner chamber showed a number of people sleeping, floating in air I think.
The sea was beautiful with fish and fauna like you can imagine any sea would be, but at this point, my dog came up to me and nudged me which broke my concentration. So I nodded good-by to Jesus and the others, took care of Kali, and then began to write about the world we visited before I forgot. As it is, I probably neglect to put a lot of information on these web pages. How could I actually describe everything we see? Not sure anyone could. All I can do is try.
My painting of meditation with all the thoughts
of place still swimming in my mind
8/7/10
I learned something vital this morning. When I began to meditate, I suddenly realized that a few of my friends were meditating at the same time and had been for a long while. Many religious monks, priests, and nuns of different faiths have the ability to stay focused in prayer or contemplation for long periods of time. What I finally understood, only this morning, is the contribution they make to my own ability to focus. I now realize that they share their mental strength with me during meditation.
I thought badly of my own ineptitude at meditation, and spoke of it with Jesus. He explained to me, not for the first time, that I am not meant to be a monk, that my job is to be of the world and to stay active within it, to give immediate aid. Jesus put stress on the word immediate because immediacy, as Jesus explained to me once, is a valuable attribute. Just caring and being gives us the extra strength we need to help an angel do their own work. Our self, seeped within the now, acts as a reinforcement of spirit for others who also reside in the ‘now.’
I can’t explain it further because I don't understand it myself, but I can write about the energy that God gave me this morning and how I shared it. First, I went to a young white boy who seemed very despondent, and gave him a long, soft, invisible hug. Then I went to a young black man who was exceedingly angry and ready to thrash out again at the child cowering on the floor in front of him. I could see beads of sweat on his brow from anger. I hugged him with all my strength, as tightly as my spirit body could do so until I felt his anger disperse. His rage spent, he threw down the long pole he was going to hit the child with. He began to shake as he realized what he’d almost done.
I went to a
soldier in
"Give the warning," I told him, but don't think he could hear me.
I have no proof that I am right, but if it is true, the fact that most people don’t believe that the mind has any power to send thoughts makes us all sitting ducks. If it is true, and we don't wake up to it, we may allow ourselves to be destroyed through our own ignorance. Well, let us all hope that I am wrong.
Finally, I dropped out of meditation, glad to be free of so much agony. I nodded my thanks to the others who had helped me. I should also mention that I prayed hard for those who live around me as well as my family and others now deceased. It is the least I can do; I seem to do so little in life for heaven. Surly, God means for me to share this abundance he sends down to me, this spiritual food for the soul. If I can, I would do what heaven asks of me, help others through active prayer, stay immediate and available, and sharing what I can with other people. Not enough, I know, but I will keep trying.
8/13/10
As I met with Jesus this morning we talked about a number of things. I asked him to let me know what I could do for the people around me who are really struggling to survive. As we talked, he reiterated that he wants me to continue joining with the others in the circle on the mountain and writing about it. It is a small job, an easy one, and one I will do gladly even though I can't see any benefit. No matter, Jesus knows what is best.
We walked up the path to above the tree line. I stood next to a huge boulder and looked over at the plateau where the others had gathered. There was a slight glow emanating from the group and I rushed down to join in their prayers. I find it amazing that although we are from many different religions, we all agree to stand in a circle to allow God’s love saturate us with light energy. And some of our group may not believe in a personal God. I don’t suppose it matters if we all have a different kind of name or concept for the all embracing flow of love energy that binds us together and feeds our souls.
This day on the mountain top, God flowed into us as a huge flower, a daisy with each of us a petal. The flower grew to enclose and penetrate us and then as it dissipated in the air. As I watched, tiny daisies floated away from the circle lifted up into the air then breezed down the mountain like fluttering butterflies. It was a beautiful vision.
Each of us, now overflowing with love energy, went back to home to spread that energy as best we could. I spread it into my neighborhood and to my family members before I asked the angels to show me who needed help.
A man was distraught, but I could see he was drunk. I doubted I could help someone like this, but I said a quick prayer for him. A black child was walking then standing with a sad look on his face. I hugged him tight for a moment. I went to visit some children I had befriended long ago, grown now, and gave each of them a smile, still amazed at their adulthood, some with their own children.
To the people who I felt needed extra prayer-food, I imagined God's light as a ball of fire that I draped over them for a second. I pray that I was able to help someone this early morning. I also pray that Jesus will let me know if there is anything I can do for other people. A few days ago, when I told him I worried about a neighbor, He mentioned that the person had not looked to God for help. I got the impression that until people do look to God, they will wallow in serious troubles. Certainly, those of us who love God have troubles too, but Jesus helps us ride us through the most severe waves with balm. I for one, am very thankful that I know and love Jesus and can count him as a friend.
8/14/10
I couldn’t’ sleep last night and didn’t get to sleep until five in the morning. Woke up about ten so my whole day is going to be messed up. I did want to say a rosary so turned it on and met with Jesus. I didn’t expect to see my friends because it was almost eleven o'clock before I began to meditate, but there they were, standing on the mountain in a soft hazy glow. How many times of witnessing it will it take me to realize that time and space don't apply to a gathering? Don’t know, but my mind seems more able to misplace space than time. Time is so entwined into our awareness that we can't gasp an odd misplacement of it.
As I entered the circle and felt my friends give me strength, and with Jesus holding my hand, I began to remember how the light would beam from my center, and it did this morning too from each of us. I prayed, “God please send me your loving energy so I may share it with others.”
The light built up within the center, and becoming huge, rolled over us like a top heavy soap bubble filled with golden fog. My body tingled with joy and energy as the bubble burst around and behind me, penetrating my every pore as it slid past.
Always, after such a soaking with God’s love, I pause in awe for a moment, caught once again with a feeling of incredulity that God can give so very much to such a small being like myself.
Empowered with wonder and love, I stepped across the ocean and land leaving golden footprints in my wake, prints that melted and spread outward like ripples on a pond. When I got home, I walked up and down the street doing the same, making sure I stepped into homes and hearts. Naturally I went to the members of my family too and then twirled the love mist as far away as I could throw it to perhaps feed needy souls far away.
I nodded to Jesus and the others that I was leaving before the rosary completed. I wanted to write down what we did this morning before I forgot because Perhaps this day was sure to be a mixed up one and I wanted to begin it right.
8/14/10
We traveled this evening and I hope I can remember all we spoke about. Jesus seemed in a talkative mood, so it was a lot. Jesus also seemed to be open to questions this evening and we asked many of them. Our travel began with Jesus, two friends and myself, walking in the sky tunnel. As usual, I felt its smooth side and the twisted edge that lined the huge windows. Amazing that the tunnel, the tree-ness that holds it together, grew the windows for children to look out of. Also amazing that the sky tunnel agrees to stay in existence as long as we use it with love.
We decided before we began that Jesus should show us a world close to earth, relatively speaking. Jesus took us to visit a world that circles a star that is, more or less, close in space and time to our earth. He told us to imagine we stood on a plastic platform when we stepped out of the tunnel because we would arrive standing in the planet's sky. Our first glimpse of this world looked down from high above a town. All the buildings looked white in the sun but each was surrounded by dark foliage, as if the area was really a park that just happened to have buildings in it. Most of the buildings looked round. When we stepped down to the ground we saw that many were shaped like igloos, but not all of them. One building that stood high above the rest looked like a white ribbon tied in a bow, its height reaching almost to the clouds. Other odd forms were represented too, but all had curves rather than corners and all every building glared white in the sun, even the path we walked upon. The white stone reminded me of a Greek city, or what I imagined one to look like. A few open buildings with columns holding up arches.
The buildings sparkled in the sun which made the dark skinned, human looking people, stand out against the light background. Most of the long clothing looked dark to me at first, until I noticed it was more like transparent gowns with small colorful accents. Something seemed off about their humanness, but I couldn’t detect what it was.
Jesus told us that that they were not from earth. Yet, the resemblance to us was uncanny and I wondered about it.
As to coloring, Jesus explained that all of us humans are a variation of brown, but the range of light and dark is so wide, we hardly think of ourselves that way. These people were more uniform in color, but as Jesus explained, if we got to know them better, we would see more variation in shades.
I wondered if the planet's past included monkeys to evolve from like our own because even evolution directed by heaven begins with something. Jesus explained that they did have an animal that climbed trees but it was not a monkey.
I suppose that all running and climbing animals on land have similar needs, hence similar evolution. I get what Jesus was trying to show us, but it is still astonishing. Yet, why should it be. A tree is a tree, as are the animals that climb on it.
We were all pleased and fascinated by the buildings and green fauna with leaves that resembled robber plants and grew as tall as trees or short like bushes. A scattering of colored flowers grew from the plants and some grew separate on the ground.
Jesus pulled us away from viewing the city so we could go see where the people worshiped. The place was an open courtyard, paved with the same white stone as the city with a low railing around. Dark, scattered mounds stood out amid the white stone and green trees. The mounds looked like teepees.
We soon learned they were not. We watched as a person walk to the courtyard, pick up a giant leaf from a vendor who stood at the side of the temple area, and then carry the giant leaf inside the low railing. As we watched, the person then sat down and arraigned the leaf around itself until the leaf wrapped him completely inside like a cocoon.
Jesus explained that to these people, privacy was a reverent form of prayer to their God. They were of one mind and always aware of each other. They did have a leader who directed events and if someone’s personality deviated from the right direction, they were taken out of the group to be healed. The giant leaf they wrapped around themselves for prayer had a special quality that cut off other minds in their group and city.
“It isn’t like a dictator on earth," Jesus told us, "Everything goes very gently hand peaceful here."
Jesus explained further that the people's last uprising had been thousands of years ago. The devastation was so great, they never forget, and it is why their population is still very low. Once, the population filled with specific mind-groups covered most of their world. Then the groups battled each other almost to extinction.
Hard to believe they ever fought such a world battle with this as the result, a peaceful countryside atmosphere.
As to technology, I noticed there was little of it in evidence. Jesus gave us an explanation for that too. He told us that most mature civilizations put technology aside to use only when necessary. Life and nature takes precedence on most mature worlds.
I can imagine a world where cell phones aren’t needed because people can converse with each other mind to mind. Isn't that what we of the group do? In our case, technology would be a curse, not an asset. A phone conversation would never help us gather on a high mountain to glow in God's light.
I asked Jesus if this was a paradise world, although, mentally, it didn’t feel like one.
"No, " Jesus said, "Not paradise world, but still very peaceful."
With that, we left and I was again in my chair. I had brought the word-processer outside and right away began to write down what we'd seen. I really enjoyed our travel this evening and hope I remembered and recorded most of it.
8/17/10
I have been searching for “truth” all my life. When I could have been more interactive with people, I chose instead to spend time reading and searching for knowledge, not just any knowledge, but knowledge about God and reality.
Here is what I found: Truth is like a doughnut. No matter what direction you come from or search into, finally you fall into the center of the doughnut. What is in the center. Ah, that is where choice comes into the picture. You will find it either full of vast potential or empty of all meaning.
It can be compared to looking at a drawing of a cube, look one time and it reaches towards you and another time and it recedes, one time full, the other empty. The truth is that with God’s help we make our own reality. Which ever way you choose to swim the current it will take you there and lead you to the answers you are searching for. Amazing, isn’t it, that the universe is set up in such a way as to give us mere humans a central place in its creation.
8/21/10
I had a long talk with Jesus as we walked up the mountain to meet with the others. My question began before I met with Jesus. I realized that I felt good. Not only good but pretty, joyful, and forever young. Why did I feel this way? A single look in the mirror puts a great lie to these feelings. Yet, at times I have had glimpses of myself living in another place, on another planet, smiling down on this self who looks in the mirror. As I have written before, I have learned that my true self lives on a different world, a world where Jesus took me a number of times.
In our walk, I didn't need to ask Jesus what I was doing here, on earth. Of course, I came to do what I could for heaven, very little, as it turned out. No, my most earnest question was, “Is this true for other people too?” In other words, is everyone alive on earth but also living somewhere else? Are we all mere actors playing a part, reworking our lines where we can? The truth or falsity of this question carries a heavy weight. Perhaps this is why Jesus was cautious.
Jesus didn’t answer, at first. I said to him, “It doesn’t matter if you answer me and I write it here. No one reads what I write anyway.”
He said, “They will.”
In other words, some time in the future people will read what I write and take it to heart so Jesus wants to be careful what he tells me now?
Jesus seemed to acknowledge my explanation. But I still want to know. Does every one come from somewhere else?
Jesus finally answered by saying, “This is true for many people.” He added, “What you ask is too general a question. The variations are many. The true answer is unfathomable to you.”
And everyone else, I presume, so I let the matter drop. It is truly none of my business where other people come from or where other people are going. Jesus has told me this before. I only know where I have come from and where I am going. Yet, I thought of very bad people, people who seem to slide ever deeper towards hell and wondered if they too began as I did, on another world of joy and peace. If true, oh how far they have fallen.
There is another aspect of my question that I thought of too. Is this why sometimes we can’t see ourselves as we truly look? We get fat but don’t really feel or see ourselves as such. We do things wrong but hardly notice or can’t see how we affect others. Does everyone see themselves sideways like me because in that other place they are young and forever lovely? Well, just an idea I am throwing out with no real understanding or answer as to its rightness.
I stopped my playful thoughts as we came upon the others gathered into a circle. As Jesus and I joined the them our hands should have felt the weight of the thousand other hands resting upon our own, but didn't because we were all in spirit. Such a gathering and joining of hands would probably be impossible in any other form. Thousands upon thousands of barely discernable hands and the standing outlines of people in the same circle, interposed upon one another, were joined as if one.
Jesus said, “Meet your brothers and sisters.”
Jesus' words sent a thrill running through my body. Jesus has called out to as many as would listen to gather in this way, from now and into the future. As evil turns souls to rot and decay, Jesus turns us forward. Our prayers nourish the world, and have the potential to nudge a damaged soul back into bloom.
As we thousands stood looking toward the sky, God suddenly stood before us in the form of a roaring, singing column of light. The light burst open and showered all of us with unbounded love energy. I took in a deep breath as the light washed over me because I wanted to feel God through my whole body.
I felt filled with love-energy enough to supply the whole world. This day I took the strength that God gave me to the hospital to visit scared and sick children. I went to the nursery first and held a few tiny ones, their little hearts grasping for every beat. I love these tiny bundles of joy who must struggle hard to live. I hope my prayerful hug give them strength to struggle on.
I also visited a pretty white girl who was very worried, though trying not to show it. I whispered to her “Don’t worry. You will be fine.” Another very young black boy, his bed surrounded by family members, looked afraid in spite of the many people standing around. He saw me, but I put a finger to my mouth letting him know to keep quiet. Then I reached down, touched his cheek, and told him he would be fine and going home soon. As I left him, I noticed a number of angels walking around the hospital and smiled. Am I an angel when I visit in spirit? Well, almost. And why was I surprised to see angels in the hospital? Angels go where ever they are needed. Surly, they are needed here.
Worn out by now with emotion, I dropped out of meditation. The rosary was on the fifth decade and I had missed saying most of it, but I am sure Mary doesn’t mind. I promised myself, and Mary, that soon I would visit her and bring souls to her who needed more help than I could give them because I seem ineffective. I haven't taken people up to see Mary for a long while, and now, I wonder why not. Perhaps some of that rottenness had been seeping into my own soul for a while. Need to clean it out and get back to work.
8/21/10
As I sat in the back yard this evening, instead of traveling with Jesus, I got caught up in thankfulness. I took a visual tour a to the front of where I sat, delighted that we had a good, much needed rain. A few drops still fell from the trees and the seat was damp when I sat down, but this didn’t matter. The dampness felt good; every living thing had gotten a good drink this day. Not that my garden needed a drink, it turned to weed about month ago, but my flowers and grass had been thirsty. And now, still sprinkled with moisture, the rocks glistened in a hundred different reds, yellows, and blues, all colors of earth as if, once being a vital a part of it, the rocks could not give up its splendor. All was beautiful, everywhere I looked, even the scrap of hedge that had grown into a tree, even the wild grapes that cascaded down the back fence in graceful steps and I imagined a tiny fairy jumping from leaf to leaf. Even the jumble of junk bamboo that I tried for years to get rid of but now just keep small looks nice by my pond Even the sparse grass specifically made for shady spots, but I realize that I will need to reseed again next year because this kind of grass is not hardy.
Then I look over to my dog Kali as she lays in the grass in the big yard, as I call the side yard. She thinks she must patrol that end of the yard too and will come to me begging to be let into it. The fence there is so cheap that it couldn’t hold her if she really wanted to get out, so I keep her in the back yard unless I am outside. She is beautiful and the yard is just big enough to give her the exercise she needs. I noticed an orange rose had bloomed overnight. This year my roses didn't keep blooming because I didn’t feed them enough. I promise to do better next year. In the spring, one bush had an orange rose and next to it was a blue one. I wish I had taken a photo while I had the chance and put it on the web. Maybe next year. In all, the yard might be scraggly, but its wild disaster has a beauty all its own. Is there anything that grows on earth as a plant that isn't beautiful?
Jesus is next to me as I write this. I can’t thank him enough for the world we live in. I beg people to please don’t destroy what we have. It is such a treasure. We are sill living in Adam and Eve’s paradise, if we would only see it.
8/24/10
As I stood in the circle and called to God asking him reinforce the light energy, Jesus encouraged me with a nod, implying that we should always look up to God for everything. God’s love truly is unbounded and fills the whole earth with everything we need. If we think about it, most of our sorrows and pains are caused by ourselves. This applies as well to the change in the weather that is causing so many disasters around the world. It could even be argued that the psychic energy of all humans might be adding to the disruption of earth’s natural weather. We have misused the earth God gave us for a long time. Our attitude impinges on other life and this fact may also apply to the world we stand upon. After all, it was mankind’s sin that lost us paradise and we have yet to earn it back.
These thoughts circled in my mind as I gathered with the others, but instead of drawing close, I drew away, my meditation disrupted because of a slight pain in my heart. Right away, Jesus reached into my center and put my heart back in order. He induced calmness through my whole body. Then I felt God pour liquid light-energy to cover all of us who had gathered to worship him. We stood ablaze in God’s light. As I looked around at all of us, filled with the favor of God, I realized that the gathering this morning consisted of many more people than I knew or could ever know. This joyful gathering can happen at every moment and it’s members include everyone meditating, everyone praying deeply, everyone giving serious love, everyone talking to Jesus, everyone doing chores for God, everyone joining hands and praying the Lords Prayer, monks and nuns who walk in silence, and even perhaps those who feel a euphoric moment of bliss as they look upon God’s handiwork in nature. Yet, most of these people may not recognize their membership in this exclusive club, may not see themselves as joined with others. But I am sure God sees them and takes note.
God keeps us going if we ask for his grace to continue. He fills us with an overabundance of love to share. This day I not only felt God’s love pour over me, I saw it ripple like a large ocean wave to travel around our huge world. God sends love to the whole earth, it is our fault if we don’t pick up on it.
This morning I went to the Cathedral of Light that exists half on angel world and half on earth. I visited with Mary who was surrounded with a field of multicolored roses and asked her if I could bring a few souls to her for healing. At her smile, I began lifting up one soul I knew after another to stand before her. She handed me a rose to give to each person, a rose that melted into their heart. The visitors didn’t know they were standing before Mary because only their spirit stood in front of her, not their body except for one person who’s spirit kept looking around as if in wonder. I was pleased to see this. But some souls are too far behind in prayer to recognize their own soul’s need. Mary, our Queen on Heaven and Earth, is very powerful and her smile is a healing smile, her gift of a rose a symbol of her love for that soul. I always delight in the color she chooses to hand to a soul and wonder at its meaning. One soul received a green rose and I understood this to mean that they might soon burst out or their shell.
It was all so beautiful. I hadn’t been up to the Cathedral of Light for a long while and looked around once more at the vivid green grass and trees and winding paths. I was surprised when a young boy who had been at the gathering came to stand next to me in the Cathedral. I was thrilled and took him to the side wing where a few whales and dolphins often come to visit and worship. We put out our hand and pushed past the barrier holding the water back and stood in the ocean as a huge blue whale, I think, came close to us and then swam away churning up the seaweed. I wonder if whales see God represented in the sun?
Just as Mother Angelica and the other nuns finished the rosary, I finished meditating. I’ll admit that I don’t always follow the rosary close during meditation but I believe that is ok. I make up for this lack by saying parts of the rosary during the day.
8/29/10
During the offertory song, God seemed to swell into the church and stayed until we sang the Our Father together. As all of us held hands to pray the Lord’s Prayer, I realized that we were all on the mountain top singing our praises to God. And what is a church supposed to represent but a man built mountain reaching up into the clouds and heaven. God swelled in our midst and I saw waves of love-energy roll away from the church into the neighborhoods until all was plated with a golden mist. Love swelled my heart I was so glad to be here with Jesus and God the father.