3/4/06
After and during meditation this morning I realized how important it is to have the light flowing from my center instead of the dark smoke. Dark Matters (March 3 & 4) I got up and walked around the table, I can’t dance any longer because of my knee, but I can walk. I began to walk and go up and down the stairs sending the light out from my center in all directions. Then I began to say the words in my mind, “Live the light.” I wrote them in the sky and allowed them to fall onto the people. I went to many nations and put the words into the sky. I found a Japanese ship in the ocean out looking for whales. I sent them the light and the words to live the light. Some of the crew paused for a moment to pray.
It works, and we must do it more often. I have decided to actively send out the light for a minute four times a day. When I suggested 3 times to Jesus he told me that it was most important to send out the light at night too. I hope I can keep this up and not forget. I will send out the words too as I send out the light. It helps if my mind is coordinated. I now understand the relevance of prayers every hour or five times a day. It is important to keep one on track.
Why is it most important at night? I suspect it is because our minds are most pliable during sleep and evil spirits can influence us more easily? Not sure. I often wake up with joy and good feelings in the morning. So this would seem to disallow that idea. Maybe Jesus will let me know why sending out the light or enveloping myself in the light just before bed is important. I realize I can’t always send out the light consciously but just by enveloping myself in it, I do so. Jesus just told me this is true.
When I was walking around the table and sending out the light and began to say the words “Live the light.” Jesus seemed proud and smiled beautifully. I felt kind of proud of myself, but then realized that none of this idea came from me. All of it came from angels and Jesus, but I am proud to have put it into writing and practice. Jesus seems happy because this is what will save the world.
I now realize that the only way I could go to live on Alia’s world is as a child. As an adult, I am too corrupted. I could not be there as I live now, yet, I can often carry my adult mind with me, but not live it. This is good. I don’t ever want to corrupt her world with bad ideas or habits.
I often visit her world for a minute or two. (Y tells me the name of the world is Shambala, a nice sounding name that rolls off the tongue). The last time I was there, I stood next to an over grown forest of vines and leafy trees dreaming of going deeper into it. I need to wait until I am older, but I know I will go exploring in this forest along with a group of other young people.
I thought of the run of time. It may run differently on Alia’s world then it runs on earth. So who knows, I may not have too long a wait before I go off into the unknown to explore. I am excited and can feel the yearning pull at me. This is also a surprise because Alia has all that she could ever want. She needs nothing, except maybe adventure? And perhaps more learning and knowledge of her world before she leaves on that adventure?
Many people
joined in the circle of light this morning. We went to
3/5/06
This morning in church I looked at the new prayer book and felt like crying. Lent is here again and the painting on the cover showed Jesus’ horrible torture most vividly. It hurt. It always seems to hurt. (The name of the painting is Ecce Home (Behold the Man) by Quetin Metsys who was a later student of Leonardo De Vinci.)
During mass when the priest was consecrating the host and repeated Jesus words, “This is my body.”
I asked Jesus once again. “Why did you do it?”
Jesus answered me again as he always does, “If I hadn’t, do you think it would have come to this?”
He meant the full pews of good, honest, saintly people, or, at least, people who are serious about growing closer to Jesus.
I shrugged, but I knew the real answer. It is the same answer we live through during every lent. “Yes. Jesus needed to die.”
The implication is that if he hadn’t died such a death, we would have forgotten his teachings, that they would have gotten lost in the murkeyness of time. But this isn’t necessarily true. Other great teachers are remembered. Yet, I believe it may also be true that great evil came into the world right before or after Jesus, an evil that was determined to stamp him out. Thankfully, it never could do so because the nature of his death caught at our minds and held us close to him.
All this just to say that it is worth the hurt we suffer during lent if it will keep Jesus alive in our hearts. Perhaps, empathy for each other grows along with sorrow at his death. Perhaps to keep our faith, we need this once a year reminder of how and why he died, but will it ever stop hurting?
I watched the movie Luther last night. A really nice movie that served as good food for thought. I realized that the people back in the 1500’s weren’t the only people in the dark, we are still in the dark when it comes to spiritual understanding. Jesus has implied to me that many people are mature enough to learn the mysteries now, some of those same mysteries that he taught his closest apostles. Slowly, in small phrases and statements, Jesus is pointing out or hinting at these secret teachings in my writings. They are meant to bring us beyond mere belief into a further state of grace or spiritual enlightenment.
It is important to keep stepping forward. We bring children to church even though they don’t understand. We teach them to behave although they don’t know why. Later as young adults and through adult parenthood we use the church to celebrate important occasions. As we mature further, we grow greater in our faith by helping other people and we lean towards a better understanding of Jesus. Eventually, we should reach even deeper into our souls to reach a closeness with God and heaven that we didn’t know existed at a younger age. All of life is a learning process.
Monks of many religions who spend their whole lives in study usually reach great spiritual heights, but not many of us ordinary people do. Yet, it is possible to become much closer to Jesus than we often to realize. What I have learned is that with Jesus leading us, if we stay sincere, we can plow through spiritual realms, that for some may take long years of struggle, in leaps and bounds. In other words, Jesus makes it easier for us to get there.
Of course, not everything I write comes directly from Jesus. Some of it is myself trying to remember what he said, or my own theories, opinions, or fears. Yet, the few times I did write something that wasn’t palatable to Jesus, he told me so, and I changed it. One point to notice about these writings, they don’t negate what went before; instead, they enhance or add to the teachings we already have from the New Testament. Also, I am in as much of a learning phase as anyone else, and some of what Jesus taught me and I wrote two years ago was not as mature as what I write today. We learn as we go along according to our ability and maturity. We can do nothing else.
3/10/06
I know some people who read only part of these notes might think I am bonkers, but I have been talking to Jesus since the early 1980’s. Once my husband looked over at me and said, “You have such a beautiful look on your face.” I told him I was talking to Jesus. The only difference between that long-past evening and today is that now I write about our conversations. So, if I am ‘round the bend,’ I have been for many long years and people who know me would tell you that I am normal in every way, at least, for an artist and writer. I had to add that last comment, ha.
I probably should write this even though I am embarrassed to do so. It tells something about Alia’s world that might be important to know one day. I was sitting in my favorite chair and nodding off, as usual, when I was suddenly startled into wakefulness by water dripping onto my body. Suddenly, I was a young girl looking down at the water splash from the wet hair onto my tiny, hairless little girl’s body, in the nude. For an instant I jumped mentally away, but sheepishly went back thinking what a earth prude I am. These are simple, young children with no sexual yearnings.
I watched as a few other children swam in the deep water. We were at a private cove set apart from the town that I could see in the distance past some trees and hills. I must have climbed out of the water for a moment to sit on a rock. The sides were steep and rocky here; a perfect place from which to dive into the deep water. The sun was warm but when I felt the cool breeze on my skin; I got up and jumped back into the water.
My cloths were probably tossed on the grass in a heap in childish fashion. I suspect that cloths won’t be vitally important to us children until puberty. I usually wear shorts and simple tops as do the other children here. Right now, I don’t know or can’t remember if the climate is always this mild. I suspect so, with light winters. This is truly is an ideal world where nature is tame, the people pleasant, and definitions unimportant as I swim through the cool water with large silver fish and splashing children. I am Alia and I love it here. This is my home.
3/11/06
Sometimes I think college is wasted on the young. I have been listening to The Great Ideas of Philosophy, by Professor Daniel N. Robinson. It is one of The Great Courses series from the Teaching Company. I saw it on sale and I wanted it badly, a frivolous expense that I new I couldn’t afford, but so what? I used some of my income tax return to buy it. So far I have been delighted with each half hour session, (it has 60) but I wondered, as I listened, if I would have understood it as well twenty years ago. I found exceptional, multiple meanings, unintended by the author, I suspect, by combing ideas and concepts that only a mature person would have in their mental store.
An example is the session yesterday about Pythagoras. While listening about his theory of numbers as the base of the universe I imagined the Source that Jesus and Mary showed me once that gushed out whole worlds and fauna and life in all its splendor, but this time I imagined it to pour out everything as equations. Instead of trees and rocks and people, out from the light came equations, equations that form the base of everything, including, of course, God’s secret, that elusive equation that gives breath to all life. It all fit: The Atman, the Source, Equations, Life, matter, all run together as the exclamation, “Wow,” hit my mind. It was a beautiful thought to live through, and it may even be true.
I looked at God and said, “You must be a mathematician.”
God laughed in merriment at my words. Sometimes God seems so close, as close as Jesus. We truly have a loving God.
I put the small painting of Jesus on my web site because as soon as I saw it I got goose bumps of happiness. If one painting can do that for me, maybe it will for you too. I have been thinking about the painting and its relation to darkness. Darkness surrounds Jesus as if the whole world were seeped in dark and Jesus was its only light. Many lights have blossomed since Jesus showed us the way, but not enough. Why is the world still dark?
I wondered about this and asked Jesus. I mean, millions of people go to church every Sunday, other people all over the earth pray to some God on different days. Why isn’t this enough? Aren’t our prayers reaching heaven? Are we doing something wrong? If so, what?
I remember many of the words that Jesus took me to that were peaceful and without strife. Those people didn’t seem to pray excessively, if at all. Their whole way of life was a prayer. Other worlds, less peaceful, had people worshiping devotedly in strange ways as if desperate to appease some wrathful God, as we have often do on earth.
Do we get God mixed up with that other part of the universe, the darkness? The people living on Shambala know that something will soon threaten their world. As Alia, I picture this as a great mass of dark coming towards their planet, but in truth, I don’t know what it looks like. It may be invisible to human eyes; its darkness only apparent inside a person’s intellect or emotions.
Asking how or why God allowed the darkness to exist is more than I or anyone can answer right now. It may be as simple as something like photons and anti-photons, neutrinos and anti-neutrinos or an equation with a different base such as anti-life? Well, this answer I will leave for others. The only one I might be able to answer is the one I asked Jesus. Why is the world still so dark after thousands of years of prayers, after so many great prophets, and saints tried to lighten it?
Like any complex question, the answer must be complex too. One of them is that (I know the answer, but am having a hard time expressing it) the dark keeps feeding on itself. Then why isn’t the light feeding on itself too? It is but not enough and easily gets overcome by the dark? We are weak? Well, most of us. Yet, there is more of a reason than that. The earth had become so smothered in darkness that it put our God to death? The world got caught up in the darkness while it was young and ignorant. Earth was also next door to a planet that had already been destroyed by the darkness, Mars.
All this and I am avoiding the real truth. We go to church but we don’t always become spiritual because of it. That is why the earth is still dark. We were cut off from learning how to grow spiritually right at the inception of the church. Some thought the early church needed to be consolidated into a cohesive group which is why the church became a hierocracy and then a bureaucracy. But did Jesus ever ask for this?
If we re-read Jesus words, he tells us what he wants of us. He told us to shine our light. How do we do that? Only now are we truly learning to understand. Perhaps if the church would have kept some of the Gnostic teachings it would have helped us grow more spiritual. I have only now learned that some Christian sects don’t believe in human spirituality at all. Well, we can’t undo history; we can only try to fix the present.
I have just re-learned that Sophia means wisdom, not a female God, as such. Although there is nothing wrong with the concept. Philosophy means: philo=love, sophy=wisdom. Philosophy means the love of wisdom or truth.
Jesus said, “The truth will set you free.”
He must have loved wisdom too.
Yesterday I got a glimpse of one meaning of this phrase. Jesus means for us to have places to go if it becomes necessary to escape earth. He is setting up such a system for us on New Earth and Shambala and other places. This repeats the notion that heaven will reap the harvest and burn the weeds that are left. A harsh example, but a potentially true one—even if mankind doesn’t destroy itself in the near future, the sun will do so when it goes nova and swallows earth up one day.
It may be that, with hard effort and a lot of God’s light, we will save earth. Then earth will become another place of refuge for souls in need. Jesus is leading me to different worlds so that people can follow. He is showing us the way.
So back to the question of why earth is still dark, so dark that we can’t even see through its mist? That is another reason why Jesus is sending me to Shambala. They are threatened by the same thing that has gripped earth for thousands of years, but they have the strength to overcome it. We will watch as the dark tries to dig a trench into their world and gets thwarted. Light will prevail there. We should never think that Jesus has abandoned us, Jesus is still teaching. I am honored to be his textbook this generation.
3/11/06
I haven’t read much about the Gnostics, but what I have turned me off because of their excessive phraseology. Why use the word sophia when you can use wisdom? The Gnostics were supposed to hold the secret teachings of Jesus and the next step in spirituality. If we take another look and use modern terminology, we might find their message well worth pursuing. Elaine E. has done so in an intellectual level. We might do so on a need to know level. We need to know how to increase the light. What ever it takes we must do it, or become entirely engulfed and destroyed by dark.
3/12/06
I woke up thinking about God this morning. I remembered his laugh when I asked if he was a mathematician. (God is male and female but I still see him as male, so he is). I thought about how I can see God, if even for a moment. How dare I to not only see God, but write about it for the world? What verve.
I looked for an analogy as to why God seems so elusive and hidden from us most of the time. I imagined a large ship with God as its captain, but the electricity doesn’t work on the ship, God’s enemy has turned it off. So all the people are left to their blindness and must grope their way forward to orientate themselves. Only a few can see through the murk to catch the captain walking around in the ship.
Light and dark are mere symbols to explain the events that are happening where we can’t see the real cause. It is like the Middle Ages when people could see sickness spread and sicken the people, but had no understanding about the cause. They could not see the small microbes that caused infection and death. We can’t see the light except with our mind, a mind we were told since early childhood not to use in such a fashion. “Stick with the facts,” everyone said. Now, today, we need to learn to look beyond facts.
3/13/06
In church, this Sunday Father Thomas said something that made me startle out of my reverie. He said, “God is bigger than evil.” Of course, we all know this, but I sometimes forget. I get wrapped up in worries and problems and threats and forgot this truth. And, what a comforting truth it is. Immediately, I felt a sense of great contentment as if the world had just settled back into place. I still feel comforted by the idea. I imagine God as larger than the earth with his golden arms wrapped around us. God wishing us well. Even as I write this the next morning, I feel comforted.
It means that I will put those dark threats up on a shelf for a while, an open shelf because I don’t want to forget they are there, but I won’t allow such things to consume my days. Life is too precious for that. The older I get the more I learn the value of each moment.
3/13/06
This morning during meditation, after sending the light around the world with the help of many people who are also in touch with the light, Y mentioned to me that he missed our short visits with Jesus on the mountain. I smiled and agreed.
We went to the mountain to sit with Jesus. We talked of a few things and then I asked Jesus if all was going well. I wanted to know if heaven’s plan was working so far as it should. Jesus said it was and that his teachings were moving along well. This meant that the experiences that I was living are teaching people what he wants us to know, for now.
Jesus has said so many things about my own life, but it used to seem as if I was waiting in stasis for everything to happen. Now I am beginning to see what Jesus means by learning patience. The patience of heaven is infecting me in the areas of waiting for my own books to sell and my travels with Jesus to take hold. There is no hurry. It is hard to realize the truth of it sometimes, but it is true. I am slowly learning to be still and wait. All things come around that are meant to come around.
My patience doesn’t extend to ordinary circumstances as much as it should. When I am in a group, I need to apologize more often for interrupting people. It is a bad habit of mine. Partly it is caused by the thyroid medication and partly because I get excited and forget. I need to be more careful and I will.
After our talk, we walked in the sky tunnel once more. I haven’t been in the tunnel for a while and felt like I was reacquainting with a close friend. I felt like hugging the tunnel but settled for running my hands over its pebbly surface. I picture its branch rising up into the sky with a twig of leaves here and there reaching all the way into space. I began to paint the sky tunnel, but didn’t like effect. Maybe I’ll try painting it again soon.
Jesus took Y and me to a world devoid of life. It was a strangely beautiful in all red foggy lights. As soon as we stepped onto the world, our legs and feet were surrounded by swirling, thick red fog. We could see far off into the distance at different colors of crimson and bright pinks and deep indigo and smoky violet. The whole world seemed to be made of nothing but rocks and red fog. Even the sky was pink.
Jesus told us that not all worlds have life and that there are so many wonders out into the universe that we could spend a lifetime visiting them all. It is full of great wonder and change. It is always changing.
Of course, the dance of the universe. I sense a sort of pride in Jesus during these times when he shows off worlds of such splendor. And why not? Perhaps Jesus likes these meetings too. I wondered if he is meeting with other people as he often meets with Y and myself.
I asked him and he told me that he does meet with small groups of people, now and again.
“Do you sit on a mountain top?” I asked laughing.
“Sometimes. We sit where it pleases people to sit.”
“Oh, this is wonderful. Should I be jealous?” I asked.
I answered myself. No I have grown too far down the spiritual road to think such things now regarding Jesus and heaven. There is enough of Jesus to go around for everyone. I love him so dearly and I want everyone to know him as well as I do.
3/15/06
Jesus told me something interesting today. He said that the light I send out and see with my mind like a beam from a flashlight actually surrounds me. It is just that I can't see a full 360° around myself. Jesus tells me that the light penetrates outward as far as I can see it, even when I see it as waves flowing over the land. This must apply to all of us: if we can visualize the light, it is real and happening, even at great distances.
"How this can be?" I asked Jesus.
He said, "The light is mind-soul material."
In other words, it is the stuff that mental thoughts are made of? Usually we would think that mind has no power external from itself, but this must not be true. On a different level of reality, imagine a dream. When you pick up a ball and throw it in a dream, the ball feels real? Or if you open that locker looking for the cloths you lost, isn’t the locker real enough for you to open it?
This is mind matter? Thought? Soul matter? Soul Light-- that unique substance God created that gives life to everything.
If that is true, then the light that flows from our center is alive with potential, with life itself, and with God’s breath. God's breath inside of us? Amazing. All of these qualities surrounding us and we can’t see it with our eyes. I often say the Lord's Prayer while sending out the light or I tell people, "Live the light." I speculate that the light flows outward and the words fall down on people like rain drops.
Here is a thought that is unsettling: Thoughts have substance. It is what Jesus implied by saying the light is mind-soul material. This must mean that Jesus and perhaps some people living in the fifth dimension or higher may be able to see our thoughts. Do they look like different colors or do our thoughts look like letters like on a black board. Imagine all those little bitty thoughts such as, I wish I had that. Why does she get that and I can’t have it? I always wanted one of them. etc. as read or listened to by someone else.
Horrible and embarrassing. I wonder if it is true? It is only speculation on my part.
I listened to a tape Beginning Spiritualism by ____________ and found a lot of new information in it. One thing that was said was that we hardly know our own sins. We go to confession and say the little things and forget the big things. Those big things may include inner thoughts such as hate, anger, jealously, or secret cravings. Wow, we are in trouble if this is true. How else will God or Jesus know us? Surly Jesus can read our hearts, isn't that what it means to read a person's heart, to read their thoughts along with their emotions?
I am not too ashamed about my thoughts now, but if I think back a number of years, I shudder at what must have floated up towards heaven. No wonder Jesus came to save me. I certainly needed saving.
3/15/06
I became Alia a number of times in the last week. One time, when I was only a visitor watching events, Jesus reminded me once more that I am not a visitor, that I am Alia when I am on that world. He doesn't walk with me on that world, but obviously he might interject comments to me. Practice makes perfect and I fell into Alia easily because I belong with her.
I was sitting on a soft couch made of pillows with my mother, who is very young and pretty, of course. We sat watching the fire in the fireplace crackle and pop. It was a tender moment and I was glad to be there. She had her arm around me as we sat in contemplation. So far I haven’t seen much of my father and I suspect that this is normal, but the reason won't come to mind right now as I write this. I am Alia while on her world but when I write this I am Diane, who doesn't know as much as her counterpart.
I thought of a few questions I want answers too, but for some reason, I don’t want to ask my mother. I would prefer asking the old man I met at the library one day, Old John. Regardless, it is pleasant sitting here with no important business or deep thoughts. It has just occurred to me that I know nothing of how my cloths get clean or food gets cooked or even what my mother and father do for the community. As I write this I wonder about a million questions. When I am there, I am content to just be and normal everyday things aren’t important, they just are.
I do know that there are very few children, by choice. Every child is considered the town’s greatest treasure. I vaguely understand that the whole town makes the choice of whether to add a new child. It may have something to do with supply of material or teachers. I doubt they lack teachers, because everyone seems to teach here, even me.
A few days ago, I was Alia while in a learning and teaching environment. We were outside on a field of grass. Two teachers sat in the center with us children around them in a circle. Our ages ranged from very young to myself. One teacher was a young pretty lady and the other was a young man.
Our lesson for today was to learn how to ward off attacks by bugs, and I assume other stuff that might not have been mentioned. The instructors used small light-weight beads to imitate the bugs. They told us of the different kinds of fish and animals. While we listened, we might get hit with a flying bead anyplace on the body.
We laughed a lot at the attempts to wiggle the bugs at us unseen and became proficient at avoiding them, even the littlest kids got better at it. Once they sent a huge swarm at me like a loose nest of angry bees and I easily blocked them with a mental shield. I want to be good at this because one day I hope to explore into the deep unknown of the planet.
I am sure the planet has been scouted and photographed by air, but not by foot. Also there must be some way for the people to go from one town to another on the planet, but I don't know what it is yet. We on this world don’t seem able to just disappear or teleport off the planet on a whim like on New Earth. I have not seen anyone do anything like that. This world does have the Mandela or strange building that I first came in. It probably can serve as transport so people can have access to the other towns or other planets. I still have a lot to learn about this world.
Later, I helped two of the very young children, about two or three, read their cubes. The cube does not have computer keys but a message deep inside that you manipulate in three dimensions with touch and mind as if working a maze in three dimensions. The reading letters, (English?) were large but these children were beyond learning their letters. They were reading words and adding small numbers—while they played. We would read, touch, run, hug, play, sit back on the grass and read then play again. We giggled a lot, jumped, and chased each other. How could they learn anything with such goings on? They did.
We are all normal humans here; the difference seems to be access to anything we need and constant encouragement to use our mental facilities to their utmost. Compared to earth, it is an amazingly mature group of people residing in this town.
I hate to add this but coming from earth like I do, I can’t help but notice skin color. It is because we are so conscious of it. On this planet, we look as if we all fell into a mixing bowl and came out with similar blended shades. My mother is lighter than I am and father darker, but no one seems to have very light or dark skin. Not brown either but different blends. I am an artist but can hardly describe the two children I was teaching this morning. They were perfectly beautiful children. Hair cut shoulder length or shorter. They wore a set of simple shorts and top as I dd. No one seems to be concerned with fashion here and children run around barefoot most of the time. I have sandals that I wear sometimes, like today.
The lady teacher has on long pants that flare like a skirt and made of a very light wispy material. The male teacher wears shorts and top, just like a man would wear on earth but less in style. It looked like he had his shorts tied with a rope. I didn’t ask their names. I probably knew them but forgot when I came back as Diane. Some things don't travel well between the barrier of space/time? Not sure.
3/17/06
I keep having the same dream and I began to wonder about it. I am a leader (I think male) riding a white/gray horse who is giving instructions to a man standing on the ground. I think it is feudal times because of the way the people are dressed. I am not always riding the horse, but I must be a leader of some kind because I am always giving instructions. I often laugh a hearty manner along with the person I am talking to in the various dreams. In one dream, there is a drawbridge behind me and I can almost remember the words I have spoken to a man standing and holding on to the reins, but then I forget. I wish I knew more.
Some dreams feel real. I think this one may have been real, but certainly not happening in the present. Perhaps certain periods of time happen simultaneously. A few scientific theories dwell on this possibility because, even though we perceive daily life as flowing forward, it does not. Instead it is in tied bundles or cut slices of time like a sliced loaf of bread. You would need to read about it to even understand the question and I doubt if anyone understands the answer yet.
If any of this dream-time, as concurrent slices stuck together, is true, then I am a leader right now in a different place and time. What I want to know is: Can I somehow interact with that place and time. Could I stop a tradgedy? If the ax is coming down, could I stop the head from rolling thereby preserve the person’s mating potential and change the population of the future? Ha, what a request. I would need to learn how to step deeper into a specific dream to effect events?
In this dream I seem to be well and the people seem happy enough, so why change anything. What if it turns into nightmare? What a gift that would be to step in and reverse the flow of fate. Fantasy, surly. Besides, the normal person, myself included, has no business playing with past events, but I would like to know more about dreams and their potential for reading the past.
I found out how to play card games with other people on the computer. It is fun. We can even make comments to each other. I can see how it might become addictive for some people. I felt guilty about it. There are so many important things to do and I question if card playing should be one of them? I already play Scrabble and Solitaire for a half hour at a time. I think it gives me pleasure because it has no reality and therefore is not worrisome. Yet, it bothers me that I want to play cards. I intend to keep it down to one or two hours a week. Should I feel guilty?
When I am Alia I play a lot because I am young. Play is natural and necessary for children, but what of adults? Is there something in the human psyche that needs to play? Or should we presume that as we grow older we should put down play as a childish thing? Would a very intelligent and mature person on an ideal world--play? Should I mentally flog myself for still wanting to play. Does it mean that I am not mature or wise enough?
Well, it bothered me enough to take the question to Jesus. I know some people who play a lot and some who don’t seem to play at all. I truly wanted to know what is ideal. Jesus doesn’t answer all questions, but he answered this one for us.
Jesus said, “Play is a part of human life.”
He also asked me to remember a few of those perfect, ideal worlds we went to. I remember one inside a red bubble where the people put on wings for play and travel. Jesus had described this world as very highly evolved and good. Yet, the people played. One girl, I remember, dived into a huge ball of water while Jesus and I watched. Everything on that world floated; the people shared everything. To me they seemed like a world filled with happy children. Jesus explained that evil was totally absent from their mature world. They were not serious enough for me, but they could have been using their minds in ways I couldn’t perceive.
So the answer is that even the wisest, most mature people play. It may be play with the mind or secret laughter at human antics, but all people play, or should. Now I feel better. All I need to do is watch that I don’t let play take up too much time. I have too much learning still to do to let play take a huge chunk out of my life. Yet, it is relaxing and may do something to the psyche that invigorates our ability to learn and grow.
3/21/06
Jesus told me this morning that I don’t need to meditate because I can send the light out during the day or at anytime. It used to be that I needed to meditate to gather in the idea of sending out the light. Now I can send it out at will.
We met on the mountain this morning and I was sending out the light while we did so. of course, I am not the only one sending out the light. Jesus is the light of the world and Y is better at it than I am, but I see my own efforts best so that is what I write about. I talked to Jesus and he answered my questions this morning. I won’t write them here but his answers made me feel so much better.
We went into the sky tunnel, that long lovely tree branch that reaches up to the stars. I love it so much I am going to paint it. It won’t be a great painting because it will be in the romantic style, but I will like it. The painting will be the rough, hard, hurtful world and within this mess will grow the tree that lifts us off and away. I am anxious to begin the painting soon.
Many other people were walking down the tunnel. The light traffic continues day and night. This is wonderful. Jesus, Y and myself walked to the end and then stepped out into the vast brightness of space, but only for a second because there is truly such splendor in the light that we need to reduce our senses to contemplate it .
We went to a place I had been before where a thousand invisible escalators were moving people up and forward and sideways and around. It seems as if they were enclosed inside a vast bubble that reflected all the stars and colors of the rainbow and filled with colorful bodies moving in every direction. Like an Easter egg filled with grass; like a million roads all scrunched up to move in different directions; like a nest of atomic particles leaving tracks, like….. well, it was more than I can describe.
As we watched Jesus told us something about what we were seeing.
“This occurs in earth’s future.” He said.
I remembered the first or second chapter of my first book began with an account of meeting a beautiful lady on one of these escalators. At another time, that same lady took me back to a future earth with her. This must mean that that people living on the future earth will use the escalators. Wonderful. The sky tunnel is a early approximation to our ability to reach and use the escalators.
The escalators are only one means of travel in the vast universe. Someone just recently explained that there are more stars in the sky then there are all the grains on sand on earth and beneath the sea. There is room for a billion escalators going ten billion places. Ok, none of us can even grasp a billion so it not a good example.
Yet, somehow as we stood there watching the movement of people of all colors with bright clothing and dull clothing and various types of skin and form, Jesus helped us understand the vastness of what we were looking at and the promise. It is a promise that we need to make good on. The one he foresaw for us long ago. We have taken a step into the new age.
3/21/06
I was thinking about God and the difference between God power and dark power. God is larger and greater and more powerful than evil, but, because God doesn’t use force against us, we don’t see God’s power at work easily. God gives us freedom and choice and the will to grow towards his truth. God of course is at the top of the ladder of everything.
3/23/06
I remember one time, years ago, while I was laying in bed, the angels came and poured liquid light into me. The bliss I felt during that experience is indescribable. I am sure I wrote of it in my first book, Traveling in Time and Space: an Encounter with Jesus. The reason I bring this up now is because even though I was filled with the liquid light of God and felt good, I didn't notice an abrupt change my behavior at that time. Not that I was bad or anything, but I could loose my temper at the dog, etc. Yet, upon reflection, I realize that it did help produce a great change in me. Certainly, I kept replaying that single blissful moment over and over again for many days, but the cause was deeper than that. It was the light itself that eventually made me bloom and flower. I want to share this light with everyone.
This morning I tried to send out the light in liquid form. I wasn't able to send it far, but I intend to keep trying. If I could manage it, I could help other people feel the bliss I felt that night.
When I doubt my ability, I always keep in mind what Mary told me, "The light is infinite."
This means that the light can pour our of us in a never ending stream; but, even so, it takes a lot of God’s light to have a noticeable effect on human actions. Perhaps this is because the Source is in a different dimension? Not sure. I am sure that we need to infuse all the light we can get into the world. For this reason, I have went to other worlds and asked for their help. It is my hope that they will send a few people here to help us spread the light on earth.
3/24/06
I have been thinking about our grasp of reality on our world. Everything I learn that the great philosophers taught still rings true today. Imagine minds that can keep knowledge ringing for more than two thousand years. My favorite is Plato because of his illustration of reality being like people in a cave, but Aristotle is also true even though he turned us towards investigating material matter.
I now realize that we needed to study the material universe before we dared jump back with confidence into the mysterious one. The long series of discoveries about our factual world was need so we could step beyond it one day. A person must know a subject well before they can imagine beyond it’s boundaries.
A good example is the study of DNA. It was important know how DNA determines our physical nature and character before we could contemplate if there is life without DNA. If DNA gives that part of ourselves that reverts back into dust, then what of the soul? Where is it? It is only now that we can see the physical that we can look beyond to speculate upon the non-physical with confidence. Does DNA give us soul too? Or is a body just a resting place for a soul? All these questions have been asked and played with long ago, but before modern knowledge, people had less means of discovering the truth.
When Jesus and Mary took me into the universe to see the Source for the first time, I saw all things flow from it. How can this be? I certainly know about DNA, about evolution, about the stars and physical universe, I craved and searched through such knowledge for many years. But I also craved to know how it all fit. I am not learned enough to be a real philosopher but I play at the game and by looking at the big picture and pulling in all the little pieces and tying them together, I may have finally found what I am looking for. I saw that what they showed me were symbols of the actual equations or causes that are themselves symbols and causes. All this flowed out of the Source, which of course is the universal God or first living dreamer who bestows all things. (How inept the English language is to convey what I mean to say, or perhaps my own vocabulary is lacking). And all this boils down to that elusive equation that bestows life upon inanimate matter. That magic potion that flows from God and imbues breath and aliveness and the ability to flourish into what we call--soul.
I have always believed that there could be no division line between what we learn in science and what we learn of God because it all is part of the same thing and can’t be contrary to itself. Now I know it beyond dispute.
3/26/06
I had the writings for March 23 and 24 written and edited enough to put on the web, but as I was about to do so, Jesus told me that I would have more to write the next day. Experience has taught me that Jesus is always right; so I help off putting it on the web until I wrote this next part.
I didn’t know until today that the early church fathers used the basic teachings of stoicism to formulate the tenets of Christianity. Many were also neo-Platonists. Of course, some early church fathers argued against all philosophy. How lucky we are that their view of non-intellectualism did not forever hold sway. It might have led to a strict fundamentalism that left no wiggle room for thought. I am learning about all this from the philosophy course on compact disks that I listen to during my walks. I can’t easily describe how much I am enjoying this philosophy course; although, I suspect that if I were really taking the course, I would need to read each book mentioned in the tapes. I have it easy, all I need to do is listen and absorb the teaching; besides, I have read many of the writings at some point in my life, just forgot their lessons. The next cd will be about Thomas Aquinas, guaranteed to be interesting.
I can’t believe how long I neglected this easy mode of learning. Now, even when I drive, I listen to cds. Lately, I listened to Spirituality for Beginners by Father Benedict J. Groeschel. Quite interesting lectures. I learned that I am not alone in my belief in the love of religious mysteries. Hearing about these different people from his point of view, at times, made me feel as if I were among friends; other times, as if I had a far longer walk to travel. I just wish Father Groeschel wouldn’t wander off subject so far as to forget to answer the darn question he just brought up. I suspect that he loves life and the talking about it so much that he over talks himself, but that too is pleasurable. His jokes and sense of humor make up for this slight failure. I forgive his failures as I laugh. My youngest son loaned me the set of cds and I am ever grateful.
All this learning in the last month may have been what boosted me into the new idea I got the other day. As I walked around the table, meditating, I thought to build a cathedral of light. Last night I wrote a poem of building the cathedral and I thought, why just a poem, why not write about it in my notes? So here I am writing about it.
I have been
putting beams and struts and windows of rainbow light into this huge cathedral
that will cover
I told Jesus what I was meaning to do.
He smiled with a twinkle in his eye and said, “Build your cathedral, Diane.”
I always love it when he uses my name. I get a thrill as if it solidifies our relationship or my own reality and purpose in being.
So I will
continue to build this cathedral of light. And who knows, maybe a stray prayer
or two from one of the thousands of
churches in
Only people with a good heart and a certain state of mind can see it because it sits between the dimensions. Perhaps one part on the same world where the Mandela, the world where Jesus and the angels walk in a vast meadow filled with wild flowers. God will step into our new cathedral made of light and his golden presence will give increase its harmonic vibrations.
A fanciful image, to be sure, but I have already built much of this grand building and can see it when I turn my mind just right. This is how the angels told me they traveled once to earth. They build a ship of mind/light material. I think the purpose was so they could travel as a group and have something to work with once they got here.
I asked
myself, why am building this cathedral? My answer was so that the enemy cannot
rise in
I have had
great pleasure writing about building this holy mountain of light as a tribute
to God in my mind and became suddenly amazed when I realized that I would make
3/28/06
I haven’t been going to Alia’s world lately and neglectful. Tonight, I went and I feel great about going. I wish there were such a thing as a mind recorder that would transcribe my thoughts as they poured out. Well, doesn’t every writer dream of such an invention. Nothing to do but try to catch the most important moments. A challenge, but I love it.
When I first arrived on Alia's world, I found myself walking next to a tall adult lady. We were walking down the street that runs through the town. I believe it is the only street in town. I tried to pick up on what she was saying, but I missed most of it. I think it was only friendly comments because I was on my way to the library. We parted and I walked towards my favorite place. It is a big building with bulging half moons of glass around it and a circle of tall columns at the entrance.
For some reason, this day, I walked straight through the main room with its many stacks of books that reached up to the high ceiling and into the room with all the plants. I sat down on a bench and bathed in the warm sunlight that came through the windows. I seemed to just want to sit in contemplation for a short while. One end of this room is a half round shape with window walls that let the light in. Large leaf plants placed just right to catch the sunlight. The whole room feels yellow/green. I like to pretend that I am breathing in green air and golden sunlight as if were a plant too.
Old John came up to me as I sat there basking in the sun. He sat down next to me and I truly hope I can remember all that we talked about because it was very interesting. I think I had been wondering how Alia and Diane fit together and was hoping to find Old Joe.
He mentioned how pleased he was that I liked the old books, "But why no book today?"
He smiled knowingly at me.
"I just wanted to sit here in the green for a while, but I am happy for your company."
He sat beside me on the wooden bench.
As if to apologized for liking the contemplative nature of the library, I said, “This is an old mind in a young body."
When he didn't say anything, I added, "It is a saying we have on earth.”
“I like it too. I have a table that seems always available for my own use right behind those plants over there." He pointed to a spot hidden by green plants.
I smiled because that was where I first visited with him, that I remember.
“It makes me feel sorrowful to think of earth.” I told him.
“I know.”
“Are there many here from earth?”
“A few. From other places too."
We sat quietly for a moment before he said. "Alia, I know what earth is like.”
“Have you ever experienced it?” I asked him.
“Yes.”
I tried to read his face and I thought I saw understanding as well as sorrow.
“I used to get angry because I couldn’t fix it." I told him. "Now I just get sad.”
“But you still try, don’t you?”
“Yes, of course.”
We sat for a time before I began talking again.
“Alia came to be with me on earth just as I have also came here. It seems so strange to be two people in two bodies, but able to join in mind. Are the other people from earth like this?"
“Yes. It sorts itself out. You will come to know both worlds much better.”
“I didn’t want Alia to experience earth with me. I felt ashamed of the place where I was born."
“She can bring gifts with her that you can both use.”
“That would be good. Do you know why I came here?”
“Is there a reason?”
“Yes, it is so I could write about it. I know that now. It is so different from earth and I want to describe it for people on earth. I want earth to be like this world."
“A good purpose. You will do well.”
I asked him something else that I had been thinking about. “I have wondered if this world was a colony that came from earth. If it is in earth’s future.”
“In a way it might be in the future, but you must understand that time is not as it seems. The people here from earth are not necessarily from the same time period.”
I looked up at the sunlit windows and green fauna and wondered if I would become a librarian some day. I mentioned this to Old John.
“You will be what you will be.”
I thought about the large open structure I am building at home. It consists of small hollow light tubes that I attach together. When it is completed and turned on, certain tubes are supposed to seem to disappear and it will rearrange itself into a different form.
I mentioned it to Old John, “I am proud of it, but it isn’t what I love to do best. I am not as good at inventing as Jerry."
“I know where your dream lays. You want to go on an adventure into the deep, dark wild woods between towns."
I smiled. “Yes, I do.”
“You will do it all. I suspect even help take some of the sadness off earth.”
He smiled down at me, patted me on the head, stood tall and stretched, before he left for his own favorite corner. I continued to sit there for a while thinking that I should write this down before I forget it, but I didn’t want to move right then from this green paradise, or come back to earth.
3/29/06
I am
extremely proud of all the American college students who are willing to walk in
protest for the illegal immigrants. It seems a long time since a large group of
college students reacted against unfair government ideas. Since
“Give me
your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The
wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost
to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”
Most of us still believe in these words in spite of the need to be more vigilant in today's world. What price are we willing to pay to keep our freedom? I suspect it goes pretty high, but not so high as to institutionalize abuse of a large number of illegal visitors to our shore.
3/30/06
Some days, I wonder if the light really works. I can't see or feel it except in my mind's eye and there is no quick evidence to check its effectiveness. What if it doesn't work? Am I wasting my time? Are we all wasting our time when we gather in a circle on Saturday morning?
So many questions without firm answers. I have decided that, at the very least, the belief that I am sending good will out into the world must count for something. Like prayer, it may or may not work, but no matter, it can't hurt. My own feelings of love and concern for other people flow outward when I broadcast the light; how could that not have some kind of good effect?
As these doubts entered and swirled around in my head until Jesus spoke to me, then they left just as quickly as they had come.
He said to me, "We are moving the light for you."
How could I doubt the effectiveness of the light from God, even for a minute? I should know better with all I have learned about life beyond our small world. The light does work even if we can't see it. This seems to be one of the messages Jesus wants us all to know. He is teaching me that this normal world we live in shows only a fraction of what is potentially there. Somehow, we are missing a lot. This problem could be compared to a light beam that shines into a dark room. Science can only study what it sees inside the light beam because that is all it can measure. This leaves the rest of the 360 degree dark room unknown and beyond reach.
One time when I mentioned my doubts to my friend Y, he told me that he had the effectiveness of the light checked out. He agreed that the light truly works. He is very advanced in wisdom and I trust his study just as I trust Jesus' words. So, I will keep trying. It is easy to give in to barriers, especially on Saturday morning. I have advertised on the web that this is when many of us join the circle to spread the light. Writing the exact time and place was like telling the enemy which fox hole we will be sitting in.
A different
type of doubt plagued me this same day. I was serious about building a
cathedral of light over the city of
“Don’t worry.” The angels told me. “We will build and keep the energy flowing into the cathedral.”
I was glad to hear this. It would be impossible for me to stay concentrated on such a large project. They must like the idea because now they will take over its final creation and up-keep. Every once in a while I glimpse a lighted side, colored window or stone spire, standing tall and majestic, straining to reach through the clouds and into heaven.
3/31/06
The words I heard today while walking and listening to The Great Ideas in Philosophy[1] compact disk completely amazed me. This disk, number 19, was about Islam. I learned that Mohammad said that each sutra in the Holy Koran has seven interpretations. The first interpretation is literal and the last is unfathomable because only God can understand it. Imagine that. Another way of putting it is that each has seven levels.
This is the same number of levels I considered for Revelation after studying it for a long while. I admit that I don't know all the levels, and this is my best guess. Not only Revelation, but the whole bible probably has seven levels to each verse. One of these enigmatic levels could be the Bible Code as stated in the book of that name. The great Jewish thinkers have always said that the whole of human history is in the bible.
Now I have learned that not only does each verse in Revelation have seven levels, but also the Koran. What are we to make of this information? What does this mean for us humans? I am not sure either. My best guess is that we all have the same God who tries to teach us how to grow. A God who gives each culture its own words to live and grow by.
As I try to interpret scripture, Jesus has told me over and over again, “Read the New Testament and Revelation if it pertained to today’s world.” Some might ask how this can be; but, isn't God beyond constraints of time and space? A modern interpretation is one of the levels God meant to be included in the bible. We all believe the writers were inspired. It might be that even they didn't know all that they wrote.
We as individual and as religious groups are meant to strive to understand as many levels and interpretations as we can of the holy writings handed down to us. Perhaps, if we did understand more levels, we would have less strife in the world between different religious groups and nations.
[1] The
Great Ideas of Philosophy, 2nd Ed. By Daniel N. Robeson,